August 6, 2025 • 28 mins
A Mother's Journey: Faith, Heartache, and Resilience
In this deeply moving episode of Stories Untold with Marvae, Marvae shares an emotional and powerful account of her son's legal troubles, the courtroom ordeal, and the heart-wrenching visits to prison. We follow her story from the shock and disbelief of the initial hearing to the challenges of visiting her son in various prisons, and the eventual reunion after his release. Through her narrative, Marvae explores themes of faith, resilience, and healing amidst personal and familial struggle. Join her as she divulges her raw emotions, the support from family and community, and the transformation that her son experienced during and after his incarceration
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Hi, I am Marvae and welcome toStories Untold with Marvae,
where we share powerfulnarratives of faith, resilience,
and transformation.
Through honest and heartfeltconversations.
We explore the journey ofovercoming personal challenges,
health struggles and emotionalbattles, while leaning on faith
and inner strength to keep usmoving forward.
(00:23):
So I took time off from work andtraveled to California.
At the time I was living inVirginia and I had been since
2000, I was working for postalheadquarters and I took about
two weeks off.
And, uh, this all happened in2011.
(00:44):
My son was, uh, 24 years old atthat time.
When I arrived at the courthousethe next morning, I sat with my
son's dad.
We were divorced for quite a fewyears at the time, and sitting
next to us was my son's, thengirlfriend and mother of my
grandson.
And then we started to seeprevious coaches come in, sat
(01:10):
down beside us childhood friendsthat he had known for years.
Previous employers, more family,and we all just sat there in
silence, in in sheer disbeliefand it seemed as though we sat
(01:31):
for hours, but it would had onlybeen about 15 minutes.
And I remember thinking tomyself, the judge had walked in
at that time, and I rememberthinking to myself, oh, she's a
woman.
Not that that meant anything.
It just, I, I was just capturingand noticing every single detail
(01:55):
in that courtroom, despite thefact that it was so foggy in my
mind.
and then the bailiff handed herhis file and she reviewed it
quickly and exchanged words withthe prosecutor and with his
defense attorney and, and thenshe started reading the charges,
(02:16):
and I was shocked.
I was embarrassed.
I was angry, I was desperate.
I was anxious.
Just a whole host of emotions iswhat I felt.
And then she kindly asked him toplease stand, end, and she asked
(02:38):
him how did he plea?
And he responded.
Guilty, your Honor.
Yeah, and when I heard thosewords, my mind flooded with
memories, his birth, toddleryears, milestones, birthdays,
soccer games, school activities,all playing in my mind like a
(02:59):
film reel, and the tears justrolled down my face.
He sat back down and the judgelooked straight at my son and
said very matter of factly.
I read 100 character letterswritten on your behalf, from
coaches, from friends, fromcoworkers, from employers, from
(03:22):
family, and my heart was soheavy.
The weight of reality presseddown on me.
The judge was very kind and Ithanked God for that.
I needed her to be kind and shewas.
And then she said.
Now look where you are.
(03:43):
You're standing here before mewaiting to hear your sentence
for a crime that should never,ever have happened.
You had a promising athleticcareer, and these letters
reflect how highly peoplethought of you, your family,
(04:04):
your friends, coaches,employers.
The community and I realizedthat my son had to pay for his
crime.
I was in favor of that.
I just couldn't understand howhe got here.
How, how, how did this happen?
(04:25):
What didn't I do enough of?
Why did he choose this behaviorthat I had no idea he was
involved in?
I was, uh, sad and confused andI ached, ached with confusion.
I, at that moment wondered howwould he live incarcerated?
(04:48):
How will he be treated?
How would he treat others?
Is he gonna get released?
Is he not gonna get released?
Really?
What would prison do for him?
Not that he shouldn't bepunished, but what could he get
positive out of being in prison?
(05:11):
Because I wanted him to findsome positivity there.
He had to, he had no choice, andthen she asked him to stand and
I thought she's about to tellhim his bait.
I heard count one, count two,count three, and I thought, my
God, how many charges?
What are these charges?
(05:32):
There were so many to me, it wasone too many for me.
Then I would see the attorneywhispering to him and the
prosecutor agreeing, and ofcourse everything was in slow
motion for me, so I reallydidn't capture it all.
(05:54):
I just remember looking and, andwatching every move that.
They made and then she asked himto stand, and I thought, okay,
I, and then I heard theprosecutor agree to something
and then I heard 12 years.
To run concurrent and one yeartime served.
(06:18):
At the time he had spent a yearin Oakland County jail, 12 years
of life in prison, and away fromhis young son.
That was hard.
For me, because I, I couldn'tunderstand what was in his mind.
What was he thinking?
What did he stand to gain fromcriminal behavior?
(06:41):
So before court was adjourned,the judge looked at my son and
said, I expect you to takeadvantage of every opport
opportunity while you'reincarcerated.
Do you understand?
And he said, yes, your honor.
I understand.
She said, there are a lot ofpositive programs that you can
take advantage of and getinvolved in, and for your sake,
(07:05):
take the opportunity.
And then she said, very matterof factly, I don't ever, ever
wanna see you in my courtroomagain.
Do you understand?
And he said, yes, your honor.
I do.
She said, your family needs you.
Your son needs you and yourcommunity would like you back
(07:27):
whole and doing positive things.
And he said, yes, your honor.
I understand.
And with finality.
The judge thanked everyone andsaid, court is adjourned.
And my son stood up, turnedaround shackled, and I remember
(07:50):
looking at him and seeing thislittle boy all over again and he
took his hand and he brought itto his lips and blew us all a
kiss and.
And then they, uh, escorted himto the back and I didn't see him
again.
(08:11):
And then his father and I got upand we thanked everybody for
coming on his behalf andsupporting him.
And then his attorney walkedover to us and he said, I don't
believe what just happened.
And we kind of looked at him,sort of confused.
(08:34):
We didn't know what he wastalking about.
We, we didn't know.
And he said she could have givenhim 25 years to life.
I, and he said, I actuallythought she was, but uh, she
spared him for some reason, andthat's positive.
(08:59):
So we, to me, 12 years was, wasagonizing.
But in retrospect, yes, 12 yearswas positive and we thanked him
for listening to my son.
He had spent hours with him.
He was a young guy.
He listened to him.
(09:20):
He knew a lot about him.
He understood him.
So we said our goodbyes, andthat was it.
So my son's first stop was inNevada.
I believe he was transitioningthere.
He spent about a month and thenhe was sent to Arkansas and it
(09:44):
was a minimum security prison, Ibelieve.
I know it was maximum.
Uh, and.
A month or two went by and I hadgotten a call from him and he
asked if I could bring his son.
And at the time his son was, oh,I think he was quite young,
(10:10):
maybe four, five.
Um, about four or five.
So I spoke with his mother atthat time, his mother.
Was living in Virginia where shewas from.
So I contacted her and wecoordinated.
(10:32):
She didn't live too far awayfrom me, and I decided that, uh,
one weekend we were gonna drivefrom Virginia to Arkansas, and
it was about 15 hours.
So I went and picked him up and.
We had a nice drive.
It was, uh, pouring rain incertain areas, but we bonded
(10:55):
pretty good and it was fun.
We stayed in a hotel the firstnight and in anticipation to go
see his dad, he was quiteexcited and I was, uh, I was
excited to see my son too.
So we arrived in Arkansas, andthe preparation to visit
(11:25):
somebody in prison isunbelievable.
You don't know if you're wearingthe right clothing, even though
they give you theserestrictions.
Of course, you can't bringanything in.
Uh, but you're, you, you have toleave your keys, you have to
leave your purse with them, andit's two or three screenings and
(11:48):
you are just, it's, it's prettyfrustrating and exhausting to go
through that whole process.
And I was.
Sad for my grandson because I,who wants to take your grandson
to visit their father in prison?
(12:08):
You know, it was, it wasfrustrating and, and I was
emotionally exhausted.
So we, we got in and we, wewaited a little bit and then
they let us in and.
And all the prisoners camethrough and they got to, uh,
spend time with their familiesand outcomes, my son.
(12:32):
And so we embraced, and ofcourse his son cried.
And my son, my son couldn't, uh,couldn't cry, but.
To see the emotion between thetwo of them and the bond was,
was unbelievable.
It was, it was very, uh, movingfor me.
(12:56):
So we chit chatted.
We got to spend about four orfive hours and we spent time
there.
We.
Had snacks and we talked and hespent a lot of time, uh, just
talking to his son and, and Iremember my grandson.
It seemed like every othersentence within that sentence,
(13:19):
he would say, daddy, when youcoming home?
And my son would have to tellhim that, you know, he's gonna
be there, you know, I'll be herefor a while, son, and, but
you're gonna come back and seeme.
And he, he always kepteverything positive, which I
thought was, was great for himand great for my grandson.
(13:40):
But then when it was time toleave, um, we stayed two nights,
so we were able to see him twiceand each time, the first night
we left, he was, uh, my grandsonwas just distraught.
It was, he, he didn't wanna lethis, his dad go.
(14:03):
And I was tearing up, of course,my, my, my son was holding back
tears and I really didn'tunderstand why.
Uh, but then I realized later onthat it's prison and you don't
show emotion in prison.
(14:25):
So he held his son so tightly.
The first day and the guardsactually gave him a little bit
of grace.
I think they, they saw and theywere affected by, by the emotion
(14:46):
of it.
It was surreal.
It was.
Just incredibly moving.
So he left and we went back tothe hotel and I wanted to make
sure I debriefed a little bitwith my grandson.
I asked him how he was, and ofcourse he was quite young, so he
said he was okay.
And of course he started cryingand he said, I, I miss my daddy
(15:11):
so much.
I said, I, I do too, son.
I want him home too, but he hasto be there for a while and he
seemed to understand in his ownway, but it, it had to have been
tough on him.
He was, he was confused.
He was confused and didn'tunderstand.
(15:33):
So we saw him the next day.
We got up super early and stoodin line and once again, went
through security and.
We saw him again.
It was a little bit easier thistime for my grandson.
He was still very emotional eachtime he saw his dad, but it was,
(15:55):
it was a, a little easierbecause it was day two.
So he got to see him again, andof course I got to see him again
as well.
So, same thing, we talked, uh,we, we.
Discussed what plans we weregonna, where we were gonna stop
on the way home, what we weregonna do, and uh, and then it
(16:20):
was time to leave again.
And this nearly half killed me,and I'm sure it, it was, it have
killed my son as well.
Uh.
Same situation.
My poor little grandson went tohug his dad so tightly and he
(16:42):
didn't wanna let him go.
And I had to tell him, you know,we're gonna come back, we're
gonna see him again, andeverything is gonna be okay.
He's gonna be fine.
And his dad told him, seemedlike a thousand times he told
him he loved him and he madesome bad mistakes and.
He was gonna be, he was gonna bewhere he was for, for a time.
(17:09):
And so, uh, once again, we, we,we departed and my poor grandson
was just in tears, just weepingand weeping all the way to the
car.
And I was crying as well.
We held each other and I toldhim, I promised him I would
(17:32):
bring him back and it wouldn'tbe that long between, uh, the
time he would see his daddyagain, There were many tears on
the way home from visiting myson.
My grandson is quite thesensitive young man.
He was very sensitive as a youngboy.
(17:55):
He still is very sensitive, andto see him hugging his father.
And watching him hold him sotightly, it was unbearable for
(18:17):
me.
I, I just stood there andwatched and I.
Felt my grandson's pain and hisheartache to be with his dad to
wanna bring his dad home.
(18:37):
So the walk back to the car wasso, so tough for me and it was,
was tougher for him.
But we made it through and onthe way home.
Uh, at one point he fell asleepand I remember thinking about
(18:58):
the visit, the positive aspectsof that visit.
I knew that his, his son neededto, that my son needed to see
his son, and my grandson neededto visit his dad.
So I just capitalized on all ofthe positive.
(19:21):
Uh, pieces and stories that theytold and shared with each other,
and that kept, that held metogether.
We got home and we didn't goback to visit my son, uh, in
Arkansas again.
(19:42):
He had moved, he took advantageof a welding program that was
offered in.
Louisiana.
Um, the judge had said shewanted him to take advantage of
everything positive, so I knowthat he was tutoring, um, a lot
(20:04):
of young men there that couldn'tread or write, and there was an
opportunity for him to get intoa welding program in Louisiana.
So they, uh, was good behavioras well.
He couldn't just transfer there.
Uh, so several months later hedid transfer and I think he was
(20:28):
there for about four or fivemonths and it just wasn't
working out.
It wasn't a place that he wantedto be.
So he put in for a transfer backto Arkansas and.
We didn't see him for probablyabout a year, and by then he was
(20:54):
moved to Oklahoma.
So Oklahoma.
I did bring my grandson a coupleof times to visit him.
There and, uh, the same, samescenario.
My son looked good.
He had been working out and bythen he had started a, uh,
(21:19):
soccer team, and that was goingwell, and he headed up a lot of
good, good programs for theinmates.
So the visitations, uh, with myson and my grandson went on for
a few years.
(21:39):
I didn't, didn't visit as muchas I, I didn't visit that much.
I was involved heavily in workand there was some travel, uh,
and I really didn't have.
I emotionally, I really didn'twanna go back to prison over and
(22:04):
over again to visit.
I, I sank into, uh, it was, itwas a depression.
I had this lull that was over mefor a few years because I just
couldn't get past the fact that.
(22:26):
My son had done these horrific,you know, involved in such a
horrific crime.
I, I just didn't understand itand I spent so many years angry
and, and then I went throughthis fear of, of, is my son
(22:47):
safe?
Um, can he actually handle beingincarcerated?
What I didn't know until he cameout was how much he actually did
learn in prison.
He learned structure, helearned, uh, simple everyday
things that we take for granted,uh, like laundry folding.
(23:11):
Um.
He learned, uh, cleaning habits,you know, being, being cleanly,
um, teaching people to read,teaching people to write very
fundamental things that we takeadvantage of.
(23:32):
And I, I guess I, I sort of, itwas, it became outta sight,
outta mind.
Um, I did take my grandson, uh,about four or five times in the
12 years.
And then, uh, my, my son did getmarried and, uh, his new wife
(23:57):
would, would, would take him.
So I sort of became, you know,once I knew he was okay.
Um, and there were somechallenges.
Throughout the years with, um,uh, trouble in prison and not
necessarily anything he did, butthe surrounding inmates.
(24:20):
And so then everybody goes onlockdown and, you know, so I
would hear these, these issuesand stories of what happened,
um, through my daughter-in-lawand through my ex-husband, and.
So I kept sort of, um, keptthings at bay, in my mind was
the only way I could deal withit.
(24:43):
And so when he did come out in2022, that was, um, that was
quite a reunion.
Quite a reunion, and I wasactually able to.
Sit down and talk to him and askhim very pointed questions that
(25:06):
I wasn't ever able to ask him.
And so he revealed a lot to me.
Uh, he had a lot of anger.
Um, and some of it stemmed fromthe loss of his brother, which
that will be a, um.
(25:26):
A subsequent, uh, podcast, uh,on the death of my other son.
So, uh, I, I understood to adegree, but the loss of 12 years
with his son and his family,really, it just didn't justify.
(25:47):
It didn't justify going toprison, but he was very much
involved in, um, gangaffiliations and, uh, and those
are very, very dangerous people.
So, uh, like I said, I, he'sthriving now and, uh, we've
(26:08):
reunited, we're all together andwe have been, he's out here in
Virginia and he's.
Uh, doing quite well.
Uh, he's working and, and, uh,we have started a business, my
daughter-in-law who is also an,uh, um, uh, a retired veteran.
(26:29):
And, uh, my son, uh, we starteda business and we're doing quite
well, and he has made somesignificant changes, obviously
post prison.
Uh, but there's still that sideof him that is, um, uh, he's,
(26:51):
he's antsy.
He's, he gets, uh, restless,but, but that's always been his
nature and not that he's doinganything that he shouldn't be
doing, but his nature is very,very restless.
So he has to constantly be busy.
But he integrated back insociety quite well.
(27:12):
I was.
A little bit surprised because12 years is 12 years.
And, um, so throughout thoseyears of him being incarcerated,
I, um, I did come to terms with,I, I, of course, I had no choice
but to come to terms with wherehe was.
(27:33):
But you know, you have fearlooming, not knowing what.
What to expect, or you're gonnaget a phone call that, that
something happened, somethingtragic or, or even, you know,
even, uh, death.
It, it just was always there.
(27:54):
Thank you for allowing me toshare my story about my son
being in prison.
It had been a while since I hadtalked about it, but never in
this, this depth.
So thank you for being here.
If you like this video, pleaselike and subscribe.
Leave me a comment and therewill be subsequent videos
coming.
Thank you.
Hi, I am Marvae and welcome toStories Untold with Marvae,
where we share powerfulnarratives of faith, resilience,
and transformation.
Through honest and heartfeltconversations.
We explore the journey ofovercoming personal challenges,
health struggles and emotionalbattles, while leaning on faith
and inner strength to keep usmoving forward.
(00:23):
So I took time off from work andtraveled to California.
At the time I was living inVirginia and I had been since
2000, I was working for postalheadquarters and I took about
two weeks off.
And, uh, this all happened in2011.
(00:44):
My son was, uh, 24 years old atthat time.
When I arrived at the courthousethe next morning, I sat with my
son's dad.
We were divorced for quite a fewyears at the time, and sitting
next to us was my son's, thengirlfriend and mother of my
grandson.
And then we started to seeprevious coaches come in, sat
(01:10):
down beside us childhood friendsthat he had known for years.
Previous employers, more family,and we all just sat there in
silence, in in sheer disbeliefand it seemed as though we sat
(01:31):
for hours, but it would had onlybeen about 15 minutes.
And I remember thinking tomyself, the judge had walked in
at that time, and I rememberthinking to myself, oh, she's a
woman.
Not that that meant anything.
It just, I, I was just capturingand noticing every single detail
(01:55):
in that courtroom, despite thefact that it was so foggy in my
mind.
and then the bailiff handed herhis file and she reviewed it
quickly and exchanged words withthe prosecutor and with his
defense attorney and, and thenshe started reading the charges,
(02:16):
and I was shocked.
I was embarrassed.
I was angry, I was desperate.
I was anxious.
Just a whole host of emotions iswhat I felt.
And then she kindly asked him toplease stand, end, and she asked
(02:38):
him how did he plea?
And he responded.
Guilty, your Honor.
Yeah, and when I heard thosewords, my mind flooded with
memories, his birth, toddleryears, milestones, birthdays,
soccer games, school activities,all playing in my mind like a
(02:59):
film reel, and the tears justrolled down my face.
He sat back down and the judgelooked straight at my son and
said very matter of factly.
I read 100 character letterswritten on your behalf, from
coaches, from friends, fromcoworkers, from employers, from
(03:22):
family, and my heart was soheavy.
The weight of reality presseddown on me.
The judge was very kind and Ithanked God for that.
I needed her to be kind and shewas.
And then she said.
Now look where you are.
(03:43):
You're standing here before mewaiting to hear your sentence
for a crime that should never,ever have happened.
You had a promising athleticcareer, and these letters
reflect how highly peoplethought of you, your family,
(04:04):
your friends, coaches,employers.
The community and I realizedthat my son had to pay for his
crime.
I was in favor of that.
I just couldn't understand howhe got here.
How, how, how did this happen?
(04:25):
What didn't I do enough of?
Why did he choose this behaviorthat I had no idea he was
involved in?
I was, uh, sad and confused andI ached, ached with confusion.
I, at that moment wondered howwould he live incarcerated?
(04:48):
How will he be treated?
How would he treat others?
Is he gonna get released?
Is he not gonna get released?
Really?
What would prison do for him?
Not that he shouldn't bepunished, but what could he get
positive out of being in prison?
(05:11):
Because I wanted him to findsome positivity there.
He had to, he had no choice, andthen she asked him to stand and
I thought she's about to tellhim his bait.
I heard count one, count two,count three, and I thought, my
God, how many charges?
What are these charges?
(05:32):
There were so many to me, it wasone too many for me.
Then I would see the attorneywhispering to him and the
prosecutor agreeing, and ofcourse everything was in slow
motion for me, so I reallydidn't capture it all.
(05:54):
I just remember looking and, andwatching every move that.
They made and then she asked himto stand, and I thought, okay,
I, and then I heard theprosecutor agree to something
and then I heard 12 years.
To run concurrent and one yeartime served.
(06:18):
At the time he had spent a yearin Oakland County jail, 12 years
of life in prison, and away fromhis young son.
That was hard.
For me, because I, I couldn'tunderstand what was in his mind.
What was he thinking?
What did he stand to gain fromcriminal behavior?
(06:41):
So before court was adjourned,the judge looked at my son and
said, I expect you to takeadvantage of every opport
opportunity while you'reincarcerated.
Do you understand?
And he said, yes, your honor.
I understand.
She said, there are a lot ofpositive programs that you can
take advantage of and getinvolved in, and for your sake,
(07:05):
take the opportunity.
And then she said, very matterof factly, I don't ever, ever
wanna see you in my courtroomagain.
Do you understand?
And he said, yes, your honor.
I do.
She said, your family needs you.
Your son needs you and yourcommunity would like you back
(07:27):
whole and doing positive things.
And he said, yes, your honor.
I understand.
And with finality.
The judge thanked everyone andsaid, court is adjourned.
And my son stood up, turnedaround shackled, and I remember
(07:50):
looking at him and seeing thislittle boy all over again and he
took his hand and he brought itto his lips and blew us all a
kiss and.
And then they, uh, escorted himto the back and I didn't see him
again.
(08:11):
And then his father and I got upand we thanked everybody for
coming on his behalf andsupporting him.
And then his attorney walkedover to us and he said, I don't
believe what just happened.
And we kind of looked at him,sort of confused.
(08:34):
We didn't know what he wastalking about.
We, we didn't know.
And he said she could have givenhim 25 years to life.
I, and he said, I actuallythought she was, but uh, she
spared him for some reason, andthat's positive.
(08:59):
So we, to me, 12 years was, wasagonizing.
But in retrospect, yes, 12 yearswas positive and we thanked him
for listening to my son.
He had spent hours with him.
He was a young guy.
He listened to him.
(09:20):
He knew a lot about him.
He understood him.
So we said our goodbyes, andthat was it.
So my son's first stop was inNevada.
I believe he was transitioningthere.
He spent about a month and thenhe was sent to Arkansas and it
(09:44):
was a minimum security prison, Ibelieve.
I know it was maximum.
Uh, and.
A month or two went by and I hadgotten a call from him and he
asked if I could bring his son.
And at the time his son was, oh,I think he was quite young,
(10:10):
maybe four, five.
Um, about four or five.
So I spoke with his mother atthat time, his mother.
Was living in Virginia where shewas from.
So I contacted her and wecoordinated.
(10:32):
She didn't live too far awayfrom me, and I decided that, uh,
one weekend we were gonna drivefrom Virginia to Arkansas, and
it was about 15 hours.
So I went and picked him up and.
We had a nice drive.
It was, uh, pouring rain incertain areas, but we bonded
(10:55):
pretty good and it was fun.
We stayed in a hotel the firstnight and in anticipation to go
see his dad, he was quiteexcited and I was, uh, I was
excited to see my son too.
So we arrived in Arkansas, andthe preparation to visit
(11:25):
somebody in prison isunbelievable.
You don't know if you're wearingthe right clothing, even though
they give you theserestrictions.
Of course, you can't bringanything in.
Uh, but you're, you, you have toleave your keys, you have to
leave your purse with them, andit's two or three screenings and
(11:48):
you are just, it's, it's prettyfrustrating and exhausting to go
through that whole process.
And I was.
Sad for my grandson because I,who wants to take your grandson
to visit their father in prison?
(12:08):
You know, it was, it wasfrustrating and, and I was
emotionally exhausted.
So we, we got in and we, wewaited a little bit and then
they let us in and.
And all the prisoners camethrough and they got to, uh,
spend time with their familiesand outcomes, my son.
(12:32):
And so we embraced, and ofcourse his son cried.
And my son, my son couldn't, uh,couldn't cry, but.
To see the emotion between thetwo of them and the bond was,
was unbelievable.
It was, it was very, uh, movingfor me.
(12:56):
So we chit chatted.
We got to spend about four orfive hours and we spent time
there.
We.
Had snacks and we talked and hespent a lot of time, uh, just
talking to his son and, and Iremember my grandson.
It seemed like every othersentence within that sentence,
(13:19):
he would say, daddy, when youcoming home?
And my son would have to tellhim that, you know, he's gonna
be there, you know, I'll be herefor a while, son, and, but
you're gonna come back and seeme.
And he, he always kepteverything positive, which I
thought was, was great for himand great for my grandson.
(13:40):
But then when it was time toleave, um, we stayed two nights,
so we were able to see him twiceand each time, the first night
we left, he was, uh, my grandsonwas just distraught.
It was, he, he didn't wanna lethis, his dad go.
(14:03):
And I was tearing up, of course,my, my, my son was holding back
tears and I really didn'tunderstand why.
Uh, but then I realized later onthat it's prison and you don't
show emotion in prison.
(14:25):
So he held his son so tightly.
The first day and the guardsactually gave him a little bit
of grace.
I think they, they saw and theywere affected by, by the emotion
(14:46):
of it.
It was surreal.
It was.
Just incredibly moving.
So he left and we went back tothe hotel and I wanted to make
sure I debriefed a little bitwith my grandson.
I asked him how he was, and ofcourse he was quite young, so he
said he was okay.
And of course he started cryingand he said, I, I miss my daddy
(15:11):
so much.
I said, I, I do too, son.
I want him home too, but he hasto be there for a while and he
seemed to understand in his ownway, but it, it had to have been
tough on him.
He was, he was confused.
He was confused and didn'tunderstand.
(15:33):
So we saw him the next day.
We got up super early and stoodin line and once again, went
through security and.
We saw him again.
It was a little bit easier thistime for my grandson.
He was still very emotional eachtime he saw his dad, but it was,
(15:55):
it was a, a little easierbecause it was day two.
So he got to see him again, andof course I got to see him again
as well.
So, same thing, we talked, uh,we, we.
Discussed what plans we weregonna, where we were gonna stop
on the way home, what we weregonna do, and uh, and then it
(16:20):
was time to leave again.
And this nearly half killed me,and I'm sure it, it was, it have
killed my son as well.
Uh.
Same situation.
My poor little grandson went tohug his dad so tightly and he
(16:42):
didn't wanna let him go.
And I had to tell him, you know,we're gonna come back, we're
gonna see him again, andeverything is gonna be okay.
He's gonna be fine.
And his dad told him, seemedlike a thousand times he told
him he loved him and he madesome bad mistakes and.
He was gonna be, he was gonna bewhere he was for, for a time.
(17:09):
And so, uh, once again, we, we,we departed and my poor grandson
was just in tears, just weepingand weeping all the way to the
car.
And I was crying as well.
We held each other and I toldhim, I promised him I would
(17:32):
bring him back and it wouldn'tbe that long between, uh, the
time he would see his daddyagain, There were many tears on
the way home from visiting myson.
My grandson is quite thesensitive young man.
He was very sensitive as a youngboy.
(17:55):
He still is very sensitive, andto see him hugging his father.
And watching him hold him sotightly, it was unbearable for
(18:17):
me.
I, I just stood there andwatched and I.
Felt my grandson's pain and hisheartache to be with his dad to
wanna bring his dad home.
(18:37):
So the walk back to the car wasso, so tough for me and it was,
was tougher for him.
But we made it through and onthe way home.
Uh, at one point he fell asleepand I remember thinking about
(18:58):
the visit, the positive aspectsof that visit.
I knew that his, his son neededto, that my son needed to see
his son, and my grandson neededto visit his dad.
So I just capitalized on all ofthe positive.
(19:21):
Uh, pieces and stories that theytold and shared with each other,
and that kept, that held metogether.
We got home and we didn't goback to visit my son, uh, in
Arkansas again.
(19:42):
He had moved, he took advantageof a welding program that was
offered in.
Louisiana.
Um, the judge had said shewanted him to take advantage of
everything positive, so I knowthat he was tutoring, um, a lot
(20:04):
of young men there that couldn'tread or write, and there was an
opportunity for him to get intoa welding program in Louisiana.
So they, uh, was good behavioras well.
He couldn't just transfer there.
Uh, so several months later hedid transfer and I think he was
(20:28):
there for about four or fivemonths and it just wasn't
working out.
It wasn't a place that he wantedto be.
So he put in for a transfer backto Arkansas and.
We didn't see him for probablyabout a year, and by then he was
(20:54):
moved to Oklahoma.
So Oklahoma.
I did bring my grandson a coupleof times to visit him.
There and, uh, the same, samescenario.
My son looked good.
He had been working out and bythen he had started a, uh,
(21:19):
soccer team, and that was goingwell, and he headed up a lot of
good, good programs for theinmates.
So the visitations, uh, with myson and my grandson went on for
a few years.
(21:39):
I didn't, didn't visit as muchas I, I didn't visit that much.
I was involved heavily in workand there was some travel, uh,
and I really didn't have.
I emotionally, I really didn'twanna go back to prison over and
(22:04):
over again to visit.
I, I sank into, uh, it was, itwas a depression.
I had this lull that was over mefor a few years because I just
couldn't get past the fact that.
(22:26):
My son had done these horrific,you know, involved in such a
horrific crime.
I, I just didn't understand itand I spent so many years angry
and, and then I went throughthis fear of, of, is my son
(22:47):
safe?
Um, can he actually handle beingincarcerated?
What I didn't know until he cameout was how much he actually did
learn in prison.
He learned structure, helearned, uh, simple everyday
things that we take for granted,uh, like laundry folding.
(23:11):
Um.
He learned, uh, cleaning habits,you know, being, being cleanly,
um, teaching people to read,teaching people to write very
fundamental things that we takeadvantage of.
(23:32):
And I, I guess I, I sort of, itwas, it became outta sight,
outta mind.
Um, I did take my grandson, uh,about four or five times in the
12 years.
And then, uh, my, my son did getmarried and, uh, his new wife
(23:57):
would, would, would take him.
So I sort of became, you know,once I knew he was okay.
Um, and there were somechallenges.
Throughout the years with, um,uh, trouble in prison and not
necessarily anything he did, butthe surrounding inmates.
(24:20):
And so then everybody goes onlockdown and, you know, so I
would hear these, these issuesand stories of what happened,
um, through my daughter-in-lawand through my ex-husband, and.
So I kept sort of, um, keptthings at bay, in my mind was
the only way I could deal withit.
(24:43):
And so when he did come out in2022, that was, um, that was
quite a reunion.
Quite a reunion, and I wasactually able to.
Sit down and talk to him and askhim very pointed questions that
(25:06):
I wasn't ever able to ask him.
And so he revealed a lot to me.
Uh, he had a lot of anger.
Um, and some of it stemmed fromthe loss of his brother, which
that will be a, um.
(25:26):
A subsequent, uh, podcast, uh,on the death of my other son.
So, uh, I, I understood to adegree, but the loss of 12 years
with his son and his family,really, it just didn't justify.
(25:47):
It didn't justify going toprison, but he was very much
involved in, um, gangaffiliations and, uh, and those
are very, very dangerous people.
So, uh, like I said, I, he'sthriving now and, uh, we've
(26:08):
reunited, we're all together andwe have been, he's out here in
Virginia and he's.
Uh, doing quite well.
Uh, he's working and, and, uh,we have started a business, my
daughter-in-law who is also an,uh, um, uh, a retired veteran.
(26:29):
And, uh, my son, uh, we starteda business and we're doing quite
well, and he has made somesignificant changes, obviously
post prison.
Uh, but there's still that sideof him that is, um, uh, he's,
(26:51):
he's antsy.
He's, he gets, uh, restless,but, but that's always been his
nature and not that he's doinganything that he shouldn't be
doing, but his nature is very,very restless.
So he has to constantly be busy.
But he integrated back insociety quite well.
(27:12):
I was.
A little bit surprised because12 years is 12 years.
And, um, so throughout thoseyears of him being incarcerated,
I, um, I did come to terms with,I, I, of course, I had no choice
but to come to terms with wherehe was.
(27:33):
But you know, you have fearlooming, not knowing what.
What to expect, or you're gonnaget a phone call that, that
something happened, somethingtragic or, or even, you know,
even, uh, death.
It, it just was always there.
(27:54):
Thank you for allowing me toshare my story about my son
being in prison.
It had been a while since I hadtalked about it, but never in
this, this depth.
So thank you for being here.
If you like this video, pleaselike and subscribe.
Leave me a comment and therewill be subsequent videos
coming.
Thank you.
Popular Podcasts
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!
Fudd Around And Find Out
UConn basketball star Azzi Fudd brings her championship swag to iHeart Women’s Sports with Fudd Around and Find Out, a weekly podcast that takes fans along for the ride as Azzi spends her final year of college trying to reclaim the National Championship and prepare to be a first round WNBA draft pick. Ever wonder what it’s like to be a world-class athlete in the public spotlight while still managing schoolwork, friendships and family time? It’s time to Fudd Around and Find Out!