August 6, 2025 • 27 mins
Overcoming Adversity: Gavin's Journey from Troubled Teen to Aspiring Electrician | Stories Untold with Marvae
In this episode of Stories Untold with Marvae, we sit down with Gavin, a recent high school graduate from Fredericksburg, Virginia. Gavin opens up about his challenging journey, including his struggles with addiction, behavioral issues, and getting kicked out of public school. He shares how transitioning to a private school, dealing with severe anger issues, and making lifestyle changes such as a new diet and weightlifting routine helped him turn his life around. Gavin also talks about his aspirations to become an electrician and how he saved up to buy his car. Despite facing a severe car accident, Gavin's resilience continues to shine as he prepares for the next chapter of his life. His story is a powerful testament to the impact of supportive environments and personal determination in overcoming adversity.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Marvae (00:01):
Hey Gavin, thank you for being on Stories Untold with
Marvae.
It's great to have you here.
You've got a great story totell.
So let's start out with whereare you from
Gavin (00:13):
Uh, Fredericksburg, Virginia.
Marvae (00:17):
and, and that's where you were born.
Gavin (00:19):
Yes.
Marvae (00:19):
So growing up there was good.
Gavin (00:22):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Marvae (00:23):
So talk about a little bit about, uh, high school.
You just graduated from highschool.
Gavin (00:29):
Yes, I just graduated a couple months ago.
I am with a OSHA certification.
Um, I'm planning to go forelectrical level two, which I
completed my level one.
Um.
high school doing dualenrollment.
Um, I'm, I currently work atCracker Barrel right now as a
(00:50):
server, and was student councilat my school.
Also,
Marvae (01:01):
So were you at a regular high school?
Gavin (01:04):
no, a private one.
Um, I was let go at my, uh,public one because I, I've
gotten in trouble a lot, so I tothis private one and got all my
certification and everythingthere.
Marvae (01:20):
tell me about that, a little bit about the, the
trouble you got into, um, whichcaused you to be asked to leave
your high school.
Gavin (01:28):
I would say probably about three, maybe four years
ago, I would say back in ninthgrade, back in ninth grade, I
got caught up into vaping,smoking weed, all that.
I got really addicted to it,because that's, that's the type
of people I would hang out with.
(01:49):
I got myself.
I got stuck in the wrong crowd.
and then little after, I wouldsay probably mid 10th grade, um,
I got kicked out.
I got caught a lot doing it, sothey eventually kicked me out
and so I had to decide on, I.
Either going to John Jay, maybedoing something online or a
(02:13):
couple private schools.
And so I visited these, um,private schools and so the one I
currently, uh, went to, that Igraduated from was Gladys
Soberly.
that changed my life.
It was so much easier on me.
There was not as much students,you were not able to have your
(02:39):
phone or anything so youwouldn't be able to like, you
know, not much drama.
There wasn't as much drama dueto all that, which was great.
but yeah, I spent the rest of myhigh school years there and I
graduated there.
Um, as a ca and graduated withcertifications like osha, my
(03:01):
electrical level one that I'mgonna continue to pursue and to
complete all my classes, andthen eventually do some other
stuff on the side.
Marvae (03:13):
Yeah, so what's SSCA?
Gavin (03:16):
SCA, so it's student council, Associa, uh,
association.
I'm pretty sure it's um, likestudent president, school
president, I would say.
Marvae (03:28):
Sounds like you had really good structure there and
your, your teachers took aliking to you.
Gavin (03:34):
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Marvae (03:38):
I.
Gavin (03:39):
thank every single one of 'em for what they did for me
because I started going to theprivate school, I, I.
I didn't, I didn't start all toogreat.
No, I was still addicted todrugs at the time.
And then the people that I hungaround with, there also weren't
(04:01):
the best influences untilprobably a year later.
I, I got myself together.
I started becoming an honorroll.
I didn't hang out.
I was really just.
I wouldn't say introvert, but Iwas really just, I was quiet.
I didn't really speak to anybodyelse because I knew who were bad
influences on me, who could havebeen bad influences on me.
(04:25):
So I, I don't know.
I was just by myself really.
I enjoyed I enjoyed it.
It.
me be successful, I would say.
Marvae (04:40):
That's terrific.
So take me back to the timewhen, um, when you were younger,
you, were there behavioralissues or anything you think
that got you off track to whereyou were frustrated all the time
or.
Gavin (05:00):
Yeah, I, I grew up with severe anger issues, actually,
like, like when I was probablylike five, six years old.
Uh, I was extreme, like inelementary, I was a really bad
kid.
I got kicked outta middle andeverything too.
Um, then I went to, um, anothermiddle school, did it online
(05:23):
with, uh, during COVID, and Ididn't do too well either.
Um, but yeah, no, I, I grew upwith a lot of like aggressive
behavior, um,
Marvae (05:36):
Yeah.
Gavin (05:37):
also.
And then,
Marvae (05:41):
were you taking medication at that time?
Gavin (05:44):
oh yeah.
I was taking a lot, I wastaking, I was on a lot.
Um.
Marvae (05:50):
Really.
Gavin (05:51):
Yeah, and I think it just caused a lot of like side
effects were really negative onme too until probably around
11th grade is when I just, oneday I just decided not to take
them, and then so I continued tojust stop taking them until my
parents realized, well, this isactually a, a good fit.
(06:13):
Like it actually is.
Better for him that he's off themeds and everything, and it was,
it was life changing.
I'm not on any meds currently oranything.
Marvae (06:23):
So you just stopped cold Turkey?
Gavin (06:25):
Yeah,
Marvae (06:27):
Yeah.
Gavin (06:27):
Yeah.
Marvae (06:29):
Oh, wow.
What was that like?
You didn't have any side effectsor anything when, when you
stopped taking.
Gavin (06:37):
no withdrawals as I remember.
Not really, no.
Mm-hmm.
And that was kind of, um, whatI've had when I was also like
heavy into weed.
Well, I kind of quit cold Turkeyon that too.
Like I didn't have nowithdrawals on that either
Marvae (06:58):
Wow, that is amazing.
So all this time that, that youwere acting out and you, you,
you had behavioral issues, angerissues, what was it like for
your parents?
Gavin (07:14):
Ooh, it wa it was horrible for them.
They, to be honest, I.
They probably were traumatized.
That's how bad it was.
It was really, really bad.
Like I was extremely aggressivetowards them.
Physically, verbally,everything.
When I, especially when I wasreally young, it was really bad.
(07:35):
Like I had to go to the hospitalfor it, um, VCU and then one
other one.
But yeah, I had to get takenplaces for it.
It was that bad.
Marvae (07:47):
You just decided within yourself that it was time to
change, you wanted to get offmedication.
Um, you wanted to do better foryourself?
Is, is that what I am what I'mhearing?
Gavin (08:00):
Yeah, be better for myself and just better for my
family.
I'm sure they're really proud ofme for how far I've gone and
they don't have to deal with allthat aggression.
probably very relieving forthem.
Marvae (08:16):
That's, that's amazing because some kids either die or
they just, I.
Get committed to jail and orthey do prison time.
I mean, this is amazing that youdecided on your own that enough
was enough.
Gavin (08:36):
Yeah.
That is true.
I'm glad,
Marvae (08:41):
I.
Gavin (08:41):
glad it didn't come to that point for myself.
I'm so glad I, I, so glad forwhere I am today.
Marvae (08:52):
Your parents helped out, they were supportive, and then
you had some supportive teachersas well that, uh, helped you
out.
Gavin (09:02):
Yeah, my, my teachers were extremely supportive.
Um, everybody there at thatschool was extremely supportive.
Um, my parents especially weretoo, they did everything they
could for me.
Marvae (09:18):
That's amazing.
I don't know if you mentionedthis or not earlier, but um,
you're going to be anelectrician, is that.
What you wanna do.
So how did you, did you, um,study that in high school or was
that something that you becameinterested in?
Gavin (09:42):
Yeah, I did, I did dual enrollment in my 12th grade
year.
Um, I did, uh, my first classfor that, so I, I took that
there at the school for free andgave me interest when I grew up,
I did a lot of hand stuff onwith my dad, so that got me
Marvae (10:04):
Yeah.
Gavin (10:05):
that, and so I.
Now that they, my school offereda scholarship and everything for
that, it would be cheap for meto take it.
So I was like, yeah, not?
I'm willing to continue that andsee how it goes for me.
Yeah.
Marvae (10:24):
Part of your healing process after you, you got your
scholarship, everything, um,teachers are happy for you,
they're supportive.
I.
You also changed your diet, sotalk about that.
'cause that's reallyinteresting.
Gavin (10:42):
So, when long when I was growing up, years ago, I would
say probably, yeah, around 10thgrade, um, after I stopped
taking my meds.
I wanted to make my a change formyself physically too.
I, I didn't, I didn't like how Ilooked growing up.
(11:05):
I didn't how I felt.
Sleeping in class, like it wasso bad.
I.
Marvae (11:11):
so were you like overweight or what was it that
you didn't like about yourself?
Gavin (11:16):
Overweight.
I was, I was probably almost 200to 10,
Marvae (11:23):
Wow.
Gavin (11:24):
Yeah.
I've, I've lost about 40 pounds,I would say.
40.
Yeah.
Marvae (11:30):
Wow.
Gavin (11:30):
that.
Um.
Watching my diet now, it, it, Ifeel a whole lot more different.
I am awake during the daycompletely in school.
Everything I'm able to focus,I'm, sometimes I feel like I
have too much energy at times.
My parents would definitely saythat.
Like I have a lot of energy.
(11:51):
Um, yeah.
Marvae (11:53):
what are you eating?
Um, did you do the research orhow did you just decide?
I wanna start eating better?
Gavin (12:00):
School specifically.
I, I hated the fact that I sleptin class always.
And especially my, my meds, myside effects from my meds also
made me very tired andeverything.
So after I stopped that and hadmy diet, well it, um, um, I felt
a lot better off of it,obviously.
(12:22):
Um.
Yeah, I, I do do a lot ofresearch like towards
supplements and all that, butsome of my teachers told me that
I should probably get intosports medicine and all that due
to,
Marvae (12:35):
Yeah.
Gavin (12:36):
it's very interesting, like supplements, like eating
how your body, um, to foods andall that.
Like I, I found it reallyinteresting.
Marvae (12:48):
Did you decide when you wanted to eat better?
Did you, did you look at what,how red meat is for your body or
what, you know, vegetables, likewhat did you cut out of your
diet
Gavin (13:03):
Um,
Marvae (13:03):
candy or,
Gavin (13:05):
yeah, candy are one of the things.
Um.
Marvae (13:10):
I.
Gavin (13:10):
Sodas.
If they're not diet or zerosugar, I will not drink them.
I still enjoy myself as I'm akid.
I do sugary stuff here andthere.
Marvae (13:24):
Yeah.
Gavin (13:25):
I.
because I, I love crumblecookie.
I go there like every week, andthose like cookies are
Marvae (13:31):
Yeah.
Gavin (13:32):
like almost or over a thousand calories just for, just
for the size of this cookie likethat.
Um, but yeah, no, I do enjoymyself a lot.
I, I train very, like, intense.
Marvae (13:48):
Oh, you're training now too.
Gavin (13:50):
I, I sh I weight lift six days a week.
Yeah.
Marvae (13:56):
Gavin, that's amazing.
Gavin (13:58):
Yeah.
Marvae (13:59):
That is awesome.
So then you know what you haveto eat to gain your muscle
strength
Gavin (14:06):
I, I do.
Marvae (14:07):
Or muscle mass.
Gavin (14:09):
Yeah.
For example, today I ate likefive eggs.
I ate steak.
Um, today I.
Um, I have shakes every day too.
Pretty much all that I, yeah, Itry to get a lot of protein in
my body daily,
Marvae (14:27):
Wow.
So how are you like withvegetables?
Do you incorporate vegetables inyour diet?
Gavin (14:36):
I don't day.
Um, it switches up daily.
Um, one thing that I do keep inmy diet are eggs.
I do, I do keep those in mydiet.
Nuts.
I them consistently.
Um, vegetables, fruits,sometimes.
(14:59):
Not always.
Not every day.
every day.
No.
Marvae (15:02):
Yeah, but you still, but you're, you're ga gaining muscle
mass and you're focused on goingto the gym six days a week.
Um, tell me about the car thatyou just purchased with your own
money.
Gavin (15:17):
So, yeah, I was, I'm working at Cracker Barrel as a
server.
It's been almost a year and ahalf now, so I.
Another thing I'm extremelyinterested in is like investing.
I love saving my money.
When I started working atCracker Barrel, I was very like
iffy about spending my money.
I just wanted to save every bitthat I had.
(15:40):
So like my dad, I am.
Into cars a lot.
Like I'm
Marvae (15:47):
Yeah.
Gavin (15:47):
Into cars and so when I got my permit for the first
time, my dad's truck, Tahoe,that's what I started learning
to drive.
And so I, I saved up my money.
I to get a car, and so I boughtanother Tahoe with my own money
(16:11):
in cash.
I thought it would've been a,definitely a better choice at my
age and how I am a male.
Insurance-wise, it is a lot ofmoney already, but if that I was
looking into were likeluxurious, sporty, all that and
probably would not have been thebest for me, if I wanted to save
(16:32):
money.
So I got something that Ialready fell in love with,
which.
already had experience indriving, so I'm, I'm glad.
Marvae (16:45):
That's terrific.
Congratulations.
That's exciting.
So then you can, you know,change it up and it'd be easy
maybe, you know, to your dad to.
Help you out and fixing it upand yeah, that's terrific.
And now you don't have to usetheir car or depend on them or
friends or whatever to get youwherever you gotta go.
(17:06):
Now you have your own wheels.
Gavin (17:09):
Yeah, definitely for work, it was definitely a
challenge because I would havemy mom works night shift, so it
would, she would have to get upduring the day to bring me there
to work, then just go back tosleep.
Then wake up 30 minutes after,like an hour after to get
herself ready for work.
It would just take time
Marvae (17:29):
Yeah.
Gavin (17:30):
out of her sleep to do that.
So.
I'm glad that I have a vehiclenow.
Now that I can work anytime thatI want and all that, it makes it
a whole lot easier and I canmake more money that way.
Marvae (17:46):
Yes.
Sure.
So now you, are you, yourscholarship?
When do you go back to school orwhat is that gonna look like?
Like September or
Gavin (17:57):
Yeah, the beginning of September is when I'm gonna be
starting my level two class.
Actually, um, the classesweren't that expensive at first.
They, the scholarship from myschool, my school is partnered
with Germana.
That's where I'm doing myclasses at, so they
Marvae (18:16):
Oh, okay.
Gavin (18:17):
for that.
yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Marvae (18:21):
That's way, way cool.
Way, way.
Cool.
So then you'll be there andyou're still gonna hold your
job.
Keep your job.
Gavin (18:31):
Y.
Yeah, I am
Marvae (18:33):
Yeah.
Gavin (18:34):
gonna be trying to work as much as I can at my job.
I also want to try to get anapprenticeship when I start my
class too, so it depends really.
Marvae (18:44):
Tell me about,.
A recent car accident that youwere in, and how that, has that
changed anything?
Just tell, tell me how ithappened.
What, what, what happened?
Gavin (18:59):
So a month ago.
I got into a crash, um, a severeone.
It was really bad.
I probably flipped like fivetimes.
It was down a highway too,actually.
Um, yeah, it was traumatic afterthat accident, um, I went to the
hospital, I was took to thetrauma room and everything.
(19:23):
Thankfully, I, I was blessed orsomething because I don't know
how I was not injured.
I had a, a CT scan done, anx-ray, all that and nothing, no
critical injuries or nothing.
Um, I was just sore to due tothe seatbelt from the impact,
(19:44):
but that, that was it.
Marvae (19:46):
How did it happen?
Gavin (19:48):
So.
Um, was this, there was thisother high schooler driving
behind me and so he was tryingto get, I guess, to the school I
was heading to, a school I washeading to.
I.
Kings George High School.
I was going down Kings Highwayand um, I guess he was heading
(20:10):
there too.
And so he was speeding a bit andcutting in front of other cars
and everything.
So he sped up behind me,switched lanes, and then he cut
right
Marvae (20:24):
You make a big one if
Gavin (20:25):
I
Marvae (20:25):
you wanna make a big one.
Gavin (20:26):
lanes, um, to get into the other one.
It was partially my fault
Marvae (20:33):
A visual.
Gavin (20:34):
I didn't realize was speeding up to, because the lane
that he was previously in thathe switched from, he was also
speeding up ahead to, because itwas clear.
That's why I was switching.
And so
Marvae (20:48):
Yeah.
Gavin (20:48):
He was in my blind spot, and so I switched lanes not
knowing that.
That car was there, and so hespun me out and so I star, I
started flipping into a ditchand everything.
I actually went flying, likethere's dash cam footage that I
have that me that I was like, Iflew up in the air, hit the
(21:10):
ground
Marvae (21:10):
Wow.
Gavin (21:11):
Everything.
It was, it was bad.
Yeah.
Marvae (21:15):
That you're here.
Gavin (21:16):
Mm-hmm.
Marvae (21:17):
What a blessing.
Wow.
And you still wanna drive afterthat.
I can't even imagine.
Gavin (21:26):
it, it wasn't days a after that, after I came back
from the hospital andeverything, I, it wasn't that
bad.
Yeah, it went through my head alot.
But after the first time when Igot back on the road, it, um.
(21:46):
It wasn't that bad.
I, I wasn't that scared ofdriving again, to be honest,
because I know that I, I have todrive again eventually.
Like I, I have to deal withthat.
Marvae (21:57):
Yeah.
Yeah,
Gavin (21:59):
I,
Marvae (21:59):
we all have to get behind the wheel and drive.
Gavin (22:01):
Mm-hmm.
And so fine with that and yeah,I, I overcame it.
I don't think about it that muchanymore.
So.
Marvae (22:12):
Yeah.
Well, I'm glad you're here, so,so as we wrap up, is there
anything that you can share?
With other parents that might bewatching this that are
struggling with their child,their high schooler, and you
(22:35):
know, is there, is thereanything that you can offer,
maybe some kids that arelistening as well as parents?
Um, for example, was I.
Was it your parents?
Were you just tired of, of the,of your behavior or did you,
(23:00):
were you sad watching yourparents be frustrated?
You know, you know what I mean?
I.
Gavin (23:07):
Keep trying, keep, um, what you can for your kid.
Um, my, I was, I was sad.
Like eventually I was like, Ihad like a whole mental
breakdown.
Like one day I looked back thesephotos that I've had from a can
Nobles actually, um, trip thatwe go on every year.
(23:33):
Um, of my family and one time I,I just started breaking down.
Like, I started like apologizingto my family.
I was crying and everything.
Like, I was like, I'm sorry, I'msorry.
Marvae (23:45):
Wow.
Gavin (23:45):
It, it was a very emotional moment because I, I
knew what I'd done when I wasyounger.
I, I guess I, I didn't thinkthat it wasn't okay, which it
clear clearly wasn't okay.
It wasn't, um.
Marvae (24:02):
Yeah.
Gavin (24:05):
But yeah,
Marvae (24:05):
Yeah.
Gavin (24:06):
was like a breaking point that day.
I was like, I'm sorry, like Iapologized and everything.
I was breaking down, crying, allthat like it, it was sad,
Marvae (24:17):
It, it's tough for us as parents when, when we watch our
kids go through things, youknow, we went through stuff too.
Growing up may not have been asbad, but when you watch your
child making mistakes and goingthrough tough times and you
can't.
Do anything to stop them.
(24:38):
You know, you may have talked tothem, you may have had
conversations, there might bedoctors involved and even
medication, and sometimes youjust have to let the child go
through what they're goingthrough and hope that they're
gonna come out on the other end.
Okay?
You know, which is why I reallywanted you here.
(25:01):
I wanted you to share your storybecause it is.
Very compelling.
And there's parents out therethat you know don't know what to
do, or sometimes the comfort oflistening to someone such as
yourself, having put yourparents through so much and you
(25:24):
put yourself through so much,but then you came out, you know,
you made decisions to change andthat's key for a teenager.
Even a teenager.
So, uh, it, it's, it's trulyamazing.
I can't wait to see what you do,um, ahead, you know, coming,
(25:49):
moving forward.
You, you know how to save money,you know how to work.
Um, do you know how to clean?
Do you clean your room?
Gavin (25:59):
I do, I do.
I do glean my room.
I do.
Um.
Marvae (26:04):
That's good.
Gavin (26:05):
not the best at it, but I, I've, I've, I've learned
doing that growing up.
Obviously my mom would have
Marvae (26:10):
Yeah.
Gavin (26:11):
On my own, obviously, and I'm glad because obviously you
don't want your family doingeverything for you then in the
future, you have no clue,
Marvae (26:20):
Yeah.
Gavin (26:21):
Yeah.
Marvae (26:22):
And then you said she, she works nights, so it's good
to kind of help out if she hastasks or something
Gavin (26:29):
Yeah.
Marvae (26:29):
have off time.
You can help her out a littlebit.
That, that's, that would begreat.
Gavin (26:35):
Yeah.
Marvae (26:35):
Um,
Gavin (26:36):
yeah, I do.
Marvae (26:39):
yeah.
That's cool.
Well, Gavin, it was my absolutepleasure having you on today,
and you'll get another invitesoon.
We will talk and we will, youknow, moving forward maybe in a
couple of months or.
I wanna check in, see whereyou're at, see what you've done.
(27:00):
Did you become this electricianor something bigger and better,
or whatever it is.
We can touch base again.
We can, we can, you can comeback on and, and share more of,
of, uh, some good stories.
Gavin (27:17):
Yeah,
Marvae (27:18):
Sound good?
Gavin (27:19):
Yeah.
Marvae (27:20):
Yeah.
Great.
Okay, Gavin, well thank you somuch for sharing your story and
we will talk soon.
Hey Gavin, thank you for being on Stories Untold with
Marvae.
It's great to have you here.
You've got a great story totell.
So let's start out with whereare you from
Gavin (00:13):
Uh, Fredericksburg, Virginia.
Marvae (00:17):
and, and that's where you were born.
Gavin (00:19):
Yes.
Marvae (00:19):
So growing up there was good.
Gavin (00:22):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Marvae (00:23):
So talk about a little bit about, uh, high school.
You just graduated from highschool.
Gavin (00:29):
Yes, I just graduated a couple months ago.
I am with a OSHA certification.
Um, I'm planning to go forelectrical level two, which I
completed my level one.
Um.
high school doing dualenrollment.
Um, I'm, I currently work atCracker Barrel right now as a
(00:50):
server, and was student councilat my school.
Also,
Marvae (01:01):
So were you at a regular high school?
Gavin (01:04):
no, a private one.
Um, I was let go at my, uh,public one because I, I've
gotten in trouble a lot, so I tothis private one and got all my
certification and everythingthere.
Marvae (01:20):
tell me about that, a little bit about the, the
trouble you got into, um, whichcaused you to be asked to leave
your high school.
Gavin (01:28):
I would say probably about three, maybe four years
ago, I would say back in ninthgrade, back in ninth grade, I
got caught up into vaping,smoking weed, all that.
I got really addicted to it,because that's, that's the type
of people I would hang out with.
(01:49):
I got myself.
I got stuck in the wrong crowd.
and then little after, I wouldsay probably mid 10th grade, um,
I got kicked out.
I got caught a lot doing it, sothey eventually kicked me out
and so I had to decide on, I.
Either going to John Jay, maybedoing something online or a
(02:13):
couple private schools.
And so I visited these, um,private schools and so the one I
currently, uh, went to, that Igraduated from was Gladys
Soberly.
that changed my life.
It was so much easier on me.
There was not as much students,you were not able to have your
(02:39):
phone or anything so youwouldn't be able to like, you
know, not much drama.
There wasn't as much drama dueto all that, which was great.
but yeah, I spent the rest of myhigh school years there and I
graduated there.
Um, as a ca and graduated withcertifications like osha, my
(03:01):
electrical level one that I'mgonna continue to pursue and to
complete all my classes, andthen eventually do some other
stuff on the side.
Marvae (03:13):
Yeah, so what's SSCA?
Gavin (03:16):
SCA, so it's student council, Associa, uh,
association.
I'm pretty sure it's um, likestudent president, school
president, I would say.
Marvae (03:28):
Sounds like you had really good structure there and
your, your teachers took aliking to you.
Gavin (03:34):
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Marvae (03:38):
I.
Gavin (03:39):
thank every single one of 'em for what they did for me
because I started going to theprivate school, I, I.
I didn't, I didn't start all toogreat.
No, I was still addicted todrugs at the time.
And then the people that I hungaround with, there also weren't
(04:01):
the best influences untilprobably a year later.
I, I got myself together.
I started becoming an honorroll.
I didn't hang out.
I was really just.
I wouldn't say introvert, but Iwas really just, I was quiet.
I didn't really speak to anybodyelse because I knew who were bad
influences on me, who could havebeen bad influences on me.
(04:25):
So I, I don't know.
I was just by myself really.
I enjoyed I enjoyed it.
It.
me be successful, I would say.
Marvae (04:40):
That's terrific.
So take me back to the timewhen, um, when you were younger,
you, were there behavioralissues or anything you think
that got you off track to whereyou were frustrated all the time
or.
Gavin (05:00):
Yeah, I, I grew up with severe anger issues, actually,
like, like when I was probablylike five, six years old.
Uh, I was extreme, like inelementary, I was a really bad
kid.
I got kicked outta middle andeverything too.
Um, then I went to, um, anothermiddle school, did it online
(05:23):
with, uh, during COVID, and Ididn't do too well either.
Um, but yeah, no, I, I grew upwith a lot of like aggressive
behavior, um,
Marvae (05:36):
Yeah.
Gavin (05:37):
also.
And then,
Marvae (05:41):
were you taking medication at that time?
Gavin (05:44):
oh yeah.
I was taking a lot, I wastaking, I was on a lot.
Um.
Marvae (05:50):
Really.
Gavin (05:51):
Yeah, and I think it just caused a lot of like side
effects were really negative onme too until probably around
11th grade is when I just, oneday I just decided not to take
them, and then so I continued tojust stop taking them until my
parents realized, well, this isactually a, a good fit.
(06:13):
Like it actually is.
Better for him that he's off themeds and everything, and it was,
it was life changing.
I'm not on any meds currently oranything.
Marvae (06:23):
So you just stopped cold Turkey?
Gavin (06:25):
Yeah,
Marvae (06:27):
Yeah.
Gavin (06:27):
Yeah.
Marvae (06:29):
Oh, wow.
What was that like?
You didn't have any side effectsor anything when, when you
stopped taking.
Gavin (06:37):
no withdrawals as I remember.
Not really, no.
Mm-hmm.
And that was kind of, um, whatI've had when I was also like
heavy into weed.
Well, I kind of quit cold Turkeyon that too.
Like I didn't have nowithdrawals on that either
Marvae (06:58):
Wow, that is amazing.
So all this time that, that youwere acting out and you, you,
you had behavioral issues, angerissues, what was it like for
your parents?
Gavin (07:14):
Ooh, it wa it was horrible for them.
They, to be honest, I.
They probably were traumatized.
That's how bad it was.
It was really, really bad.
Like I was extremely aggressivetowards them.
Physically, verbally,everything.
When I, especially when I wasreally young, it was really bad.
(07:35):
Like I had to go to the hospitalfor it, um, VCU and then one
other one.
But yeah, I had to get takenplaces for it.
It was that bad.
Marvae (07:47):
You just decided within yourself that it was time to
change, you wanted to get offmedication.
Um, you wanted to do better foryourself?
Is, is that what I am what I'mhearing?
Gavin (08:00):
Yeah, be better for myself and just better for my
family.
I'm sure they're really proud ofme for how far I've gone and
they don't have to deal with allthat aggression.
probably very relieving forthem.
Marvae (08:16):
That's, that's amazing because some kids either die or
they just, I.
Get committed to jail and orthey do prison time.
I mean, this is amazing that youdecided on your own that enough
was enough.
Gavin (08:36):
Yeah.
That is true.
I'm glad,
Marvae (08:41):
I.
Gavin (08:41):
glad it didn't come to that point for myself.
I'm so glad I, I, so glad forwhere I am today.
Marvae (08:52):
Your parents helped out, they were supportive, and then
you had some supportive teachersas well that, uh, helped you
out.
Gavin (09:02):
Yeah, my, my teachers were extremely supportive.
Um, everybody there at thatschool was extremely supportive.
Um, my parents especially weretoo, they did everything they
could for me.
Marvae (09:18):
That's amazing.
I don't know if you mentionedthis or not earlier, but um,
you're going to be anelectrician, is that.
What you wanna do.
So how did you, did you, um,study that in high school or was
that something that you becameinterested in?
Gavin (09:42):
Yeah, I did, I did dual enrollment in my 12th grade
year.
Um, I did, uh, my first classfor that, so I, I took that
there at the school for free andgave me interest when I grew up,
I did a lot of hand stuff onwith my dad, so that got me
Marvae (10:04):
Yeah.
Gavin (10:05):
that, and so I.
Now that they, my school offereda scholarship and everything for
that, it would be cheap for meto take it.
So I was like, yeah, not?
I'm willing to continue that andsee how it goes for me.
Yeah.
Marvae (10:24):
Part of your healing process after you, you got your
scholarship, everything, um,teachers are happy for you,
they're supportive.
I.
You also changed your diet, sotalk about that.
'cause that's reallyinteresting.
Gavin (10:42):
So, when long when I was growing up, years ago, I would
say probably, yeah, around 10thgrade, um, after I stopped
taking my meds.
I wanted to make my a change formyself physically too.
I, I didn't, I didn't like how Ilooked growing up.
(11:05):
I didn't how I felt.
Sleeping in class, like it wasso bad.
I.
Marvae (11:11):
so were you like overweight or what was it that
you didn't like about yourself?
Gavin (11:16):
Overweight.
I was, I was probably almost 200to 10,
Marvae (11:23):
Wow.
Gavin (11:24):
Yeah.
I've, I've lost about 40 pounds,I would say.
40.
Yeah.
Marvae (11:30):
Wow.
Gavin (11:30):
that.
Um.
Watching my diet now, it, it, Ifeel a whole lot more different.
I am awake during the daycompletely in school.
Everything I'm able to focus,I'm, sometimes I feel like I
have too much energy at times.
My parents would definitely saythat.
Like I have a lot of energy.
(11:51):
Um, yeah.
Marvae (11:53):
what are you eating?
Um, did you do the research orhow did you just decide?
I wanna start eating better?
Gavin (12:00):
School specifically.
I, I hated the fact that I sleptin class always.
And especially my, my meds, myside effects from my meds also
made me very tired andeverything.
So after I stopped that and hadmy diet, well it, um, um, I felt
a lot better off of it,obviously.
(12:22):
Um.
Yeah, I, I do do a lot ofresearch like towards
supplements and all that, butsome of my teachers told me that
I should probably get intosports medicine and all that due
to,
Marvae (12:35):
Yeah.
Gavin (12:36):
it's very interesting, like supplements, like eating
how your body, um, to foods andall that.
Like I, I found it reallyinteresting.
Marvae (12:48):
Did you decide when you wanted to eat better?
Did you, did you look at what,how red meat is for your body or
what, you know, vegetables, likewhat did you cut out of your
diet
Gavin (13:03):
Um,
Marvae (13:03):
candy or,
Gavin (13:05):
yeah, candy are one of the things.
Um.
Marvae (13:10):
I.
Gavin (13:10):
Sodas.
If they're not diet or zerosugar, I will not drink them.
I still enjoy myself as I'm akid.
I do sugary stuff here andthere.
Marvae (13:24):
Yeah.
Gavin (13:25):
I.
because I, I love crumblecookie.
I go there like every week, andthose like cookies are
Marvae (13:31):
Yeah.
Gavin (13:32):
like almost or over a thousand calories just for, just
for the size of this cookie likethat.
Um, but yeah, no, I do enjoymyself a lot.
I, I train very, like, intense.
Marvae (13:48):
Oh, you're training now too.
Gavin (13:50):
I, I sh I weight lift six days a week.
Yeah.
Marvae (13:56):
Gavin, that's amazing.
Gavin (13:58):
Yeah.
Marvae (13:59):
That is awesome.
So then you know what you haveto eat to gain your muscle
strength
Gavin (14:06):
I, I do.
Marvae (14:07):
Or muscle mass.
Gavin (14:09):
Yeah.
For example, today I ate likefive eggs.
I ate steak.
Um, today I.
Um, I have shakes every day too.
Pretty much all that I, yeah, Itry to get a lot of protein in
my body daily,
Marvae (14:27):
Wow.
So how are you like withvegetables?
Do you incorporate vegetables inyour diet?
Gavin (14:36):
I don't day.
Um, it switches up daily.
Um, one thing that I do keep inmy diet are eggs.
I do, I do keep those in mydiet.
Nuts.
I them consistently.
Um, vegetables, fruits,sometimes.
(14:59):
Not always.
Not every day.
every day.
No.
Marvae (15:02):
Yeah, but you still, but you're, you're ga gaining muscle
mass and you're focused on goingto the gym six days a week.
Um, tell me about the car thatyou just purchased with your own
money.
Gavin (15:17):
So, yeah, I was, I'm working at Cracker Barrel as a
server.
It's been almost a year and ahalf now, so I.
Another thing I'm extremelyinterested in is like investing.
I love saving my money.
When I started working atCracker Barrel, I was very like
iffy about spending my money.
I just wanted to save every bitthat I had.
(15:40):
So like my dad, I am.
Into cars a lot.
Like I'm
Marvae (15:47):
Yeah.
Gavin (15:47):
Into cars and so when I got my permit for the first
time, my dad's truck, Tahoe,that's what I started learning
to drive.
And so I, I saved up my money.
I to get a car, and so I boughtanother Tahoe with my own money
(16:11):
in cash.
I thought it would've been a,definitely a better choice at my
age and how I am a male.
Insurance-wise, it is a lot ofmoney already, but if that I was
looking into were likeluxurious, sporty, all that and
probably would not have been thebest for me, if I wanted to save
(16:32):
money.
So I got something that Ialready fell in love with,
which.
already had experience indriving, so I'm, I'm glad.
Marvae (16:45):
That's terrific.
Congratulations.
That's exciting.
So then you can, you know,change it up and it'd be easy
maybe, you know, to your dad to.
Help you out and fixing it upand yeah, that's terrific.
And now you don't have to usetheir car or depend on them or
friends or whatever to get youwherever you gotta go.
(17:06):
Now you have your own wheels.
Gavin (17:09):
Yeah, definitely for work, it was definitely a
challenge because I would havemy mom works night shift, so it
would, she would have to get upduring the day to bring me there
to work, then just go back tosleep.
Then wake up 30 minutes after,like an hour after to get
herself ready for work.
It would just take time
Marvae (17:29):
Yeah.
Gavin (17:30):
out of her sleep to do that.
So.
I'm glad that I have a vehiclenow.
Now that I can work anytime thatI want and all that, it makes it
a whole lot easier and I canmake more money that way.
Marvae (17:46):
Yes.
Sure.
So now you, are you, yourscholarship?
When do you go back to school orwhat is that gonna look like?
Like September or
Gavin (17:57):
Yeah, the beginning of September is when I'm gonna be
starting my level two class.
Actually, um, the classesweren't that expensive at first.
They, the scholarship from myschool, my school is partnered
with Germana.
That's where I'm doing myclasses at, so they
Marvae (18:16):
Oh, okay.
Gavin (18:17):
for that.
yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Marvae (18:21):
That's way, way cool.
Way, way.
Cool.
So then you'll be there andyou're still gonna hold your
job.
Keep your job.
Gavin (18:31):
Y.
Yeah, I am
Marvae (18:33):
Yeah.
Gavin (18:34):
gonna be trying to work as much as I can at my job.
I also want to try to get anapprenticeship when I start my
class too, so it depends really.
Marvae (18:44):
Tell me about,.
A recent car accident that youwere in, and how that, has that
changed anything?
Just tell, tell me how ithappened.
What, what, what happened?
Gavin (18:59):
So a month ago.
I got into a crash, um, a severeone.
It was really bad.
I probably flipped like fivetimes.
It was down a highway too,actually.
Um, yeah, it was traumatic afterthat accident, um, I went to the
hospital, I was took to thetrauma room and everything.
(19:23):
Thankfully, I, I was blessed orsomething because I don't know
how I was not injured.
I had a, a CT scan done, anx-ray, all that and nothing, no
critical injuries or nothing.
Um, I was just sore to due tothe seatbelt from the impact,
(19:44):
but that, that was it.
Marvae (19:46):
How did it happen?
Gavin (19:48):
So.
Um, was this, there was thisother high schooler driving
behind me and so he was tryingto get, I guess, to the school I
was heading to, a school I washeading to.
I.
Kings George High School.
I was going down Kings Highwayand um, I guess he was heading
(20:10):
there too.
And so he was speeding a bit andcutting in front of other cars
and everything.
So he sped up behind me,switched lanes, and then he cut
right
Marvae (20:24):
You make a big one if
Gavin (20:25):
I
Marvae (20:25):
you wanna make a big one.
Gavin (20:26):
lanes, um, to get into the other one.
It was partially my fault
Marvae (20:33):
A visual.
Gavin (20:34):
I didn't realize was speeding up to, because the lane
that he was previously in thathe switched from, he was also
speeding up ahead to, because itwas clear.
That's why I was switching.
And so
Marvae (20:48):
Yeah.
Gavin (20:48):
He was in my blind spot, and so I switched lanes not
knowing that.
That car was there, and so hespun me out and so I star, I
started flipping into a ditchand everything.
I actually went flying, likethere's dash cam footage that I
have that me that I was like, Iflew up in the air, hit the
(21:10):
ground
Marvae (21:10):
Wow.
Gavin (21:11):
Everything.
It was, it was bad.
Yeah.
Marvae (21:15):
That you're here.
Gavin (21:16):
Mm-hmm.
Marvae (21:17):
What a blessing.
Wow.
And you still wanna drive afterthat.
I can't even imagine.
Gavin (21:26):
it, it wasn't days a after that, after I came back
from the hospital andeverything, I, it wasn't that
bad.
Yeah, it went through my head alot.
But after the first time when Igot back on the road, it, um.
(21:46):
It wasn't that bad.
I, I wasn't that scared ofdriving again, to be honest,
because I know that I, I have todrive again eventually.
Like I, I have to deal withthat.
Marvae (21:57):
Yeah.
Yeah,
Gavin (21:59):
I,
Marvae (21:59):
we all have to get behind the wheel and drive.
Gavin (22:01):
Mm-hmm.
And so fine with that and yeah,I, I overcame it.
I don't think about it that muchanymore.
So.
Marvae (22:12):
Yeah.
Well, I'm glad you're here, so,so as we wrap up, is there
anything that you can share?
With other parents that might bewatching this that are
struggling with their child,their high schooler, and you
(22:35):
know, is there, is thereanything that you can offer,
maybe some kids that arelistening as well as parents?
Um, for example, was I.
Was it your parents?
Were you just tired of, of the,of your behavior or did you,
(23:00):
were you sad watching yourparents be frustrated?
You know, you know what I mean?
I.
Gavin (23:07):
Keep trying, keep, um, what you can for your kid.
Um, my, I was, I was sad.
Like eventually I was like, Ihad like a whole mental
breakdown.
Like one day I looked back thesephotos that I've had from a can
Nobles actually, um, trip thatwe go on every year.
(23:33):
Um, of my family and one time I,I just started breaking down.
Like, I started like apologizingto my family.
I was crying and everything.
Like, I was like, I'm sorry, I'msorry.
Marvae (23:45):
Wow.
Gavin (23:45):
It, it was a very emotional moment because I, I
knew what I'd done when I wasyounger.
I, I guess I, I didn't thinkthat it wasn't okay, which it
clear clearly wasn't okay.
It wasn't, um.
Marvae (24:02):
Yeah.
Gavin (24:05):
But yeah,
Marvae (24:05):
Yeah.
Gavin (24:06):
was like a breaking point that day.
I was like, I'm sorry, like Iapologized and everything.
I was breaking down, crying, allthat like it, it was sad,
Marvae (24:17):
It, it's tough for us as parents when, when we watch our
kids go through things, youknow, we went through stuff too.
Growing up may not have been asbad, but when you watch your
child making mistakes and goingthrough tough times and you
can't.
Do anything to stop them.
(24:38):
You know, you may have talked tothem, you may have had
conversations, there might bedoctors involved and even
medication, and sometimes youjust have to let the child go
through what they're goingthrough and hope that they're
gonna come out on the other end.
Okay?
You know, which is why I reallywanted you here.
(25:01):
I wanted you to share your storybecause it is.
Very compelling.
And there's parents out therethat you know don't know what to
do, or sometimes the comfort oflistening to someone such as
yourself, having put yourparents through so much and you
(25:24):
put yourself through so much,but then you came out, you know,
you made decisions to change andthat's key for a teenager.
Even a teenager.
So, uh, it, it's, it's trulyamazing.
I can't wait to see what you do,um, ahead, you know, coming,
(25:49):
moving forward.
You, you know how to save money,you know how to work.
Um, do you know how to clean?
Do you clean your room?
Gavin (25:59):
I do, I do.
I do glean my room.
I do.
Um.
Marvae (26:04):
That's good.
Gavin (26:05):
not the best at it, but I, I've, I've, I've learned
doing that growing up.
Obviously my mom would have
Marvae (26:10):
Yeah.
Gavin (26:11):
On my own, obviously, and I'm glad because obviously you
don't want your family doingeverything for you then in the
future, you have no clue,
Marvae (26:20):
Yeah.
Gavin (26:21):
Yeah.
Marvae (26:22):
And then you said she, she works nights, so it's good
to kind of help out if she hastasks or something
Gavin (26:29):
Yeah.
Marvae (26:29):
have off time.
You can help her out a littlebit.
That, that's, that would begreat.
Gavin (26:35):
Yeah.
Marvae (26:35):
Um,
Gavin (26:36):
yeah, I do.
Marvae (26:39):
yeah.
That's cool.
Well, Gavin, it was my absolutepleasure having you on today,
and you'll get another invitesoon.
We will talk and we will, youknow, moving forward maybe in a
couple of months or.
I wanna check in, see whereyou're at, see what you've done.
(27:00):
Did you become this electricianor something bigger and better,
or whatever it is.
We can touch base again.
We can, we can, you can comeback on and, and share more of,
of, uh, some good stories.
Gavin (27:17):
Yeah,
Marvae (27:18):
Sound good?
Gavin (27:19):
Yeah.
Marvae (27:20):
Yeah.
Great.
Okay, Gavin, well thank you somuch for sharing your story and
we will talk soon.
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