What happens when healthcare providers don't believe your experience? For licensed marriage and family therapist Reesa Morala, it meant months of unnecessary dietary restrictions, postpartum pain, and a desperate struggle to feed her firstborn son.
Reesa's journey through motherhood began with a doctor who insisted she had gestational diabetes despite normal test results, simply based on her appearance and family background. The anxiety this created was so overwhelming that Reesa lost 30 pounds below her pre-pregnancy weight. But the challenges didn't end there. For a whole year after birth, she endured excruciating pain from improper stitching that multiple providers dismissed until one finally recognized the scar tissue that needed treatment. Meanwhile, her son mysteriously stopped eating at three months old, resulting in Reesa having to hand-express milk into his sleeping mouth.
Then came her second pregnancy, resulting in an unexpected home birth when labor progressed so rapidly that there was no time to reach the hospital. Finding herself alone in her bathroom, Reesa delivered her baby into just an inch of bathwater moments before first responders arrived. The stark contrast between her two birth experiences – especially how differently she healed physically – solidified her understanding of how profoundly provider care impacts maternal outcomes.
These transformative experiences redirected Reesa's professional path. Having witnessed firsthand how parents' needs often go unaddressed until crisis hits, she founded Embrace Renewal Therapy and Wellness Collective to provide preventative support through couples counseling, intensive weekend retreats, and specialized workshops. Her mission became clear: help parents prioritize their own well-being and relationships as the foundation for family health.
Whether you're struggling to be heard by medical providers, navigating the complex transitions of parenthood, or seeking to strengthen your relationship under the pressures of family life, Reesa's authentic story offers both validation and hope. Sometimes the most powerful healing comes from someone who's walked through the fire and returned to light the way for others.
If you would like to contact Reesa Morala, please see her contact information below.
instagram.com/embrace.renewal.therapy
tiktok.com/@embrace.renewal.therapy
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https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/trendsetter
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Stephanie Theriault (00:10):
Welcome to the Maternal Wealth Podcast, a
space for all things related tomaternal health, pregnancy and
beyond.
I'm your host, stephanie Terrio.
I'm a labor and delivery nurseand a mother to three beautiful
boys.
Each week, we dive intoinspiring stories and expert
insights to remind us of thepower that you hold in
childbirth and motherhood.
We're here to explore the joys,the challenges and the
(00:33):
complexities of maternal health.
Every mother's journey isunique and every story deserves
to be told.
Please note that this podcastis for entertainment purposes
only.
It is not intended to replaceprofessional medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment.
Always consult with yourhealthcare provider for medical
guidance that is tailored toyour specific needs.
(00:54):
Are you ready?
Let's get into it.
Today.
We welcome Risa Morala.
(01:15):
She is a licensed marriage andfamily therapist.
Located in California, she ownsEmbrace Renewal Therapy and
Wellness Collective.
Let's welcome Risa Morala.
Reesa Morala (01:23):
Hi, thank you so much for having me.
Stephanie Theriault (01:25):
Thank you so much for being here.
I would love to start off theepisode learning about yourself
before you became a parent.
Reesa Morala (01:32):
Yes, so myself before I became a therapist, I
was actually.
I got my bachelor's degree inmusical theater.
Surprisingly enough, andthrough my own journey, kind of
at the end of my time getting mybachelor's degree, I had a
medical diagnosis that kind oftook me out of that world,
(01:52):
forced me to go back to thedrawing board, figure out what
my plan B was.
Prior to that, though, I wasborn and raised kind of all over
the world lots of differentcountries that I lived in and
states that I've lived in sokind of all over the place I
grew up.
I'm Filipino American, sothere's lots of stuff there as
(02:12):
far as just a little bit aboutmy background and kind of the
home environment that I grew upin Definitely was a little bit
more of a chaotic homeenvironment, which I think has
really influenced my currentfocus as well and my specialties
that I do now as a therapist.
Stephanie Theriault (02:30):
So, essentially, were you having the
idea of becoming a marriage andfamily therapist prior to
having children?
Reesa Morala (02:37):
Yes, so I was actually at the end of my degree
when I was pregnant.
Stephanie Theriault (02:43):
Yeah, I love a good love story.
Would you share with us how youand your partner met?
Reesa Morala (02:51):
Yes, my story is probably a little bit different
than the version he likes totell, but I find that that
happens a lot.
We met in undergrad and he wasmy orientation leader my
freshman year, okay, and weactually didn't start dating
until he had graduated.
But we had lots of run-ins witheach other, really random
(03:13):
awkward run-ins, and then themost awkward was when he came
back.
I actually later became anorientation leader myself, so I
kind of took his position oncehe graduated orientation leader
myself.
So I kind of took his positiononce he graduated, okay, and he
came back just to visit for oneof the campus events that we
were doing during orientationand there was a person.
(03:38):
I was going around checking thetables and there was a person
who was just very awkward andsaid something that was
incredibly uncomfortable for thewhole table and I said, okay,
well, you know, I'm going to gonow, cause I it was very awkward
for me and my now husband waslike, oh, my car is that way,
I'm going to, I'm just going towalk you, okay.
And he is a talker, and so thisis an Illinois and I am
(03:59):
generally.
That was the coldest place Ihad ever lived in my life and
I'd grown up in warmer islandclimate.
This was in the middle ofwinter and he just kept talking
and talking, and talking.
And I was at my dorm alreadyand I said it's way too cold out
here and he's just continuingto talk and I felt really bad.
(04:21):
So I was like, did you want tocome up, because I'm really cold
?
And we continued to talk till5am the next morning and we've
been together ever since.
Stephanie Theriault (04:35):
Did you always know that you wanted to
be a mom?
Reesa Morala (04:38):
Yes, I was one of those folks that I'd been told a
lot growing up oh, you'd besuch a great mother.
I think some of that came.
As I mentioned, I grew up in achaotic kind of home environment
and I was in this reallyinteresting dynamic because I
have two older siblings, butthey're much older than me and
(05:00):
much older than my youngersiblings because my younger
siblings are much younger thanme.
So I was kind of right smack inthe middle by myself a little
bit.
So I was with my older siblingsas a younger child, but then
they left the house and then Ibecame the older sibling for my
younger siblings that were bornlater, once my older ones left.
And during that period with myyounger siblings there was a lot
(05:23):
of abuse that was going on inthe home physical abuse,
emotional abuse and so Idefinitely found myself kind of
taking on that protector rolefor my younger siblings and so
that was very much kind ofinnately something.
That's a role that I took onreally young and just kind of
continued.
I ended up continuing to workwith kids, even in my therapy
(05:47):
career, for the first half of mycareer was working with kids,
because I had always worked withkids and people would always
tell me, oh, you'd be such agreat mother, and so I'd always
had it in my head that, oh well,I'm told that this is something
I'm good at, so this is what Ishould do, this is my next path,
and that's what society tellsyou.
You get married, you have kids,all these things, and so I was
(06:08):
definitely kind of a rulefollower in that way, and so I
don't think that I ever knew anidea of not having children 11
and 9.
Stephanie Theriault (06:27):
And would you share with us did you plan
for your pregnancies?
Was it a surprise pregnancy?
And then, how was your firstpregnancy?
Reesa Morala (06:30):
I did plan for these pregnancies.
I was very fortunate in thefact that it happened quicker
than maybe I anticipated it,because I was prepared.
You hear a lot that it can takea while.
So mine was planned because ofmy own personal medical.
I was on medications thataren't good for having children,
(06:51):
and so it was a consciouschoice to kind of titrate myself
off of those medications sothat I could be able to start
having, or at least start tryingto have, kids.
And I was incredibly fortunatethat after I actually stopped my
medication within the nextcycle I was pregnant.
And I remember when I found outthat I was pregnant because,
(07:12):
again, we were trying.
So it was one of those thingswhere I was consistently looking
and tracking and, okay, is thisit?
And I remember my husband.
He travels a lot for work andso it was one of his business
trips that he was out of townfor.
So I was by myself when I foundout.
And I remember because theywould, I remember reading that,
(07:37):
oh, the best time to take apregnancy is for, you know,
first thing in the morning kindof deal, and so I would set a
pregnancy test on the toiletseat just to remind me, you know
, when I got up, and forwhatever reason, that particular
day I got up really early I'mtalking like 3 am in the morning
, and then I saw the pregnancytest and I was like, oh well,
technically this is first thingin the morning, okay, and sure
(07:59):
enough, it was positive.
So I didn't go back to sleep.
Nonetheless, at 3 am in themorning there was no way I was
going back to sleep for that,and so I was up just waiting for
it.
My husband was coming back intotown that day and I was like,
oh my gosh, I need, like I needto tell him, I want to tell the
person, and so that was kind ofhow, how that all happened.
And then, moving forward, therest of my pregnancy, I was, I
(08:20):
felt like I was doing reallygood.
Again, being a rule follower, Iwas reading all of the books.
I was not one of those folksthat liked to read kind of the
fluffier books.
I wanted hard, cold facts.
And maybe that's because, again, what I do, there's a science
to my job now and so I wantedthe hard science.
So I was reading the big MayoClinic give me all the facts.
(08:44):
And so if I'm going to go intothis.
I want to know exactly what toexpect, and so I was doing all
the things, following all of therecommendations.
I don't think I've ever eatenbetter in my life than when I
was pregnant, because, again, itwasn't about me, it was about
this other person.
So you're telling me I have tolike chug down a kale smoothie
(09:08):
and chunks and all that.
I was going to do it becausethat's what, you know, they
would say is best for my baby.
Kind of the bump started for mein my pregnancy journey when I
went for my gestational diabetestest and because I'm Filipino,
(09:31):
american and I have a highhistory family history at least
of diabetes, that the doctorthat I was seeing, even though
my test came back under themarks, even though my test came
back under the marks, I was likeno, she just looked at me based
on looks, and I don't want tosay that I've always been, I've
(09:53):
never been a bone-thin kind ofperson, if that makes sense.
I was never necessarilycompletely overweight, but I
think that when people see me,they don't think skinny, if you
will.
And so she was looking at meand, even though the numbers
were saying something, she'slooking at the way that I look,
she's looking at the fact thatmy family has a history of
(10:16):
diabetes inside.
No, I don't care what the testssay, you have to follow this
track, go see a doctor, anendocrinologist, for this, and
it needs to be monitored and youneed to kind of take on this
new protocol.
And so I was going to thespecialist and even he was
looking at me and going well,your numbers aren't saying this.
(10:37):
I don't know what your doctoris wanting from me.
So just keep doing what you'redoing and I guess check your
blood sugars.
And that's all we can really dois just make doing what you're
doing and I guess check yourblood sugars, and that's all we
can really do is just make sureyou've got it.
And so at that point again,hearing that and hearing this
doctor tell me well, this mustbe an issue.
Again, going back to the factthat that protector in me is
(11:01):
very, very strong from, like Isaid, from childhood, I was kind
of immediately sent into justhigh anxiety and very, almost
very rigid because, okay,they're telling me that I could
harm my baby, and so there wasjust tons of fear, tons of
anxiety that was just laced in.
It was overly kind of checkingeverything and why I can't eat
(11:23):
that because they say thatthat's going to make it worse,
and just the amount of fear thatthis doctor kind of instilled
in me.
It was really crippling.
So much so that, because of howstringent I had become out of
this fear that, you know, thisdoctor was trying to tell me I
was going to hurt my baby, ifyou will, and hurt myself in
(11:47):
that way that after I had thebaby I had lost about 30 pounds
from my starting weight before Igot pregnant.
Because of how much I was juststrapped in and just so fearful
that I was going to do the wrongthing.
Stephanie Theriault (12:04):
So when you had the glucose screen, the
labs came back normal and evenwith the normal labs, the doctor
still sent you to endo forfurther follow-up.
That's what you're saying.
Yes, did you continue testingyour sugars also throughout the
pregnancy and they were normaland everything was fine.
Reesa Morala (12:24):
Yes.
Stephanie Theriault (12:25):
Wow yeah.
Reesa Morala (12:26):
I kept because, again, I was trying to do the
right thing.
I kept food logs.
I was testing my sugars.
They were all coming backnormal.
I never once took anymedications.
My you know the endocrinologist.
He would just be like, okay,what are your numbers?
He'd be like it all looks good.
I don't know what else to tellyou, but because I don't know
what this other doctor, your OB,wants, just keep doing what
(12:50):
you're doing, I guess.
And that was it.
I remember my endocrinologistappointments.
They were so fast I was in andout of there all the time
because there was nothing to doand so I was just like, well,
okay, I guess I have to justkeep doing this.
And so I had to.
You know, they made me increasemy OB appointments.
(13:10):
I had to do the non-stresstests for like the last month or
two.
I can't remember.
Sorry, it was like 11 years ago.
I'm trying to remember now.
But I had to do the non-stresstests.
I mean the whole thing becauseand she kept, I remember her
measuring my belly and theamount of times that she'd be
like, oh my gosh, you're gettingtoo big, you're getting too big
(13:34):
, and just it would.
It scared me as a first timeparent.
This is my first child and Iwas trying so hard to do it
right, if you will.
Stephanie Theriault (13:43):
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
Coming from the perspective ofa labor and delivery nurse and
being at bedside with mypatients and hearing in your
voice how this affected you,hearing it in your story, I want
to say I'm sorry that happenedto you.
I wish you, I wish you had arelationship with a birth
provider that was able tosupport you more in giving you
(14:06):
the accurate information and thesupport that you needed.
I'm curious how much did heweigh when he was born?
Reesa Morala (14:12):
He was gosh.
You're going to test me now.
He was under seven pounds.
Stephanie Theriault (14:17):
Under seven pounds.
Okay, yeah, that is difficultto hear.
Reesa Morala (14:21):
I was just going to say he was small, so much so
that the doctor so that samedoctor was the one that
delivered him and she did an.
Audibly.
He's a lot smaller than Ithought he was going to be as
she delivered him Because ofagain in her mind he was going
to be huge, based off of how Iwas measuring, based off of her
(14:41):
preconceived kind of notionsabout me and the way that I
looked.
That she she did, I remember,because, like he was, he was
tiny.
The biggest thing on him washis head.
He was a 99 percentile for hishead circumference, so that was
the biggest, and the rest of hisbody, I mean, even now, he's
always been on the low end, likeit's work to get him onto a
(15:05):
growth chart.
That's how small he is andthat's been his whole life.
Stephanie Theriault (15:19):
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outcome.
Did they induce you or did yougo into labor?
Reesa Morala (16:41):
So I was scheduled to be induced that evening at 6
pm.
He arrived at4 pm that same dayand so they had scheduled me
because again, they were sayingyou're getting so huge, he has
to come out, this is gettingdangerous.
And that's the evening before Iwas supposed to go in is when
(17:02):
official labor started.
Stephanie Theriault (17:03):
The practice that you were being
seen prenatally.
Was it a private practice wherethere was just one OB, or was
it a practice in which therewere multiple OBs that you
rotated through?
Reesa Morala (17:15):
Multiple OBs that I rotated through.
Stephanie Theriault (17:18):
And then, when the day that you went into
labor, it just happened to bethe day that this particular
doctor was on.
Reesa Morala (17:24):
Yes, it was incredibly upsetting for me.
Stephanie Theriault (17:29):
I can imagine.
Reesa Morala (17:30):
Yeah.
Stephanie Theriault (17:30):
How was the delivery and the pushing?
Did you push for a while orbecause of his size, he kind of
just slid on out?
Reesa Morala (17:39):
Yeah, it was really interesting how it
happened.
So I was actually having fairlystrong contractions for about
two weeks leading up to actualactive labor.
And I say that because, since Iwas doing the non-stress test,
there were multiple times wherethey saw them while I was
strapped up to the machine andthey were like, oh yeah, that's
(18:00):
a legit contraction, it's morethan just like a Braxton Hicks,
and I was having those for abouttwo weeks leading up.
So when things got moving, ifyou will, they moved fairly fast
.
I remember that my so one of mychronic illnesses does put a
lot of stress on my body, and somy blood pressure was starting
(18:23):
to go up.
Once I was in the hospital andthat same doctor kept coming in
and saying well, I think thatthis is going to be dangerous
for babies, because at thatpoint I had been doing it with
no medications, and they said Ithink that you need to get an
epidural.
I was at first saying I can dothis, I'm capable, I can do this
(18:45):
.
And they were saying, no, yourblood pressure is going too high
, you need to do an epidural.
And so again, they startthrowing out this could hurt
baby, as I mentioned very muchprotector.
So I'm like okay, well, ifyou're telling me that this is
what I need to do for baby, thenfine, let's do it.
And so the person who wasgiving me my epidural stuck me
(19:10):
about five times and couldn'tget it Finally said they got it
but it wasn't working.
I could feel everything.
I told them I could move, andthey're like oh well, give it
some time, give it some time.
Well, meanwhile he's coming.
And so I told the nurse that waswith me.
I said I feel like I need topush.
And so she, she was like okay,well, let's see, let's see.
And she's like well, yeah, youknow, you're completely dilated,
(19:33):
which she was a little bitsurprised about, cause I had
only been there, like I said,for a short amount of time and
they had just given me theepidural at this point, as far
as it finally quote unquote wasin.
And she was like okay, let'stry it.
And I was able to get a pushthat she said that's exactly it.
If you can do that, he'll beout, no problem.
And I said, okay, well, since Iknow what it feels, I can still
(19:56):
feel everything.
Let me do that again.
And so I did only maybe acouple more pushes and she was
like okay, I need you to hold on, I need to go get the doctor.
I said okay, and so then thedoctor came in and again
preconceived notion.
She was like no way Is sheready.
She just got in here and so shegoes to check and double check
the nurse's work.
(20:16):
Didn't believe the nurse.
And then I pushed again and shewas like whoa, hang on a second
.
And she was like quit, gownherself and within just a couple
more pushes he was out.
It wasn't until after he wasout that the epidural kicked in.
Okay, so then, after you werejust epiduralized for your
postpartum recovery, yes, yes,and unfortunately not only did
(20:41):
this provider I have thatexperience with her kind of
leading up to it but the waythat she stitched me up I had
significant scarring tissue thatrequired oh gosh, I can't
remember where they do theswabbing to kind of burn it off,
if you will.
I had to do that for the nextyear.
Stephanie Theriault (21:01):
So how did you know that you had the
scarring?
What kind of symptoms were youhaving?
Reesa Morala (21:06):
next year.
So how did you know that youhad the scarring?
What kind of symptoms were youhaving?
I had significant pain evenjust with sitting down Any tight
pants, jeans.
I was in tears, I could not.
Having sex was just a nightmare, and my child also ended up
having some health issues, asfar as he stopped eating at
(21:26):
three months old, and I thinkagain, some of that was because
doctors weren't listening to meto intervene sooner before we
got to the place where hestopped eating.
So at that point the only waythat I was able to get food into
him is I had to do kind of a.
What I now know is maybe kindof a very, very rough version of
(21:48):
dream feed which had me kind ofI had to rock him because he
wouldn't take a bottle, hewouldn't take breast, he
wouldn't take formula andnothing, just would not eat.
Stephanie Theriault (21:59):
Okay.
Reesa Morala (21:59):
And so I had to essentially get him to the point
where he was about to fallasleep, where his automatic kind
of functions would take overand he would latch, and then get
him to fall asleep so that hewouldn't resist eating, and I
would hand express milk into himwhile he slept.
And so I generally did that ina rocking chair, trying to keep
(22:22):
him asleep while I handexpressed milk into him, and so
that was sitting, and so I wouldjust be in excruciating pain
from sitting and the scar tissuepain, because I don't have a
baby that's participating in theeating.
So I was doing all the work andtrying to do it while he was
sleeping, so the whole sleepwhen baby sleeps.
I couldn't do that because Ihad to feed him while he slept
(22:45):
and so it was awful, and then Iwould go into the appointments
to do the treatment, if you will.
I mean, it was just, it waspainful and, like I said, I had
to do multiples of those, to thepoint that they were saying, if
it doesn't get any better, wemight have to recut you and try
to sew it back up.
Part of the reason why that Iknow that it was more, in my
(23:09):
opinion at least that it wasmore on the provider side and
less me is because with mysecond child so with that sew up
, if you will at that point myepidural had already kicked in,
so I wasn't moving.
There wasn't any of that versusmy second child.
So he was a surprise home birth,and then I got rushed to the
(23:33):
hospital via ambulance and so bythe time I got to the doctor
and I got sewn up with my secondchild, I didn't have the
epidural for sure, and all ofthe adrenaline from having a
baby had worn off, so I couldfeel every.
They tried to give me somenumbing but, truth be told, it
(23:55):
really didn't do much for me,and so I could feel every single
stitch and it was probably oneof the hardest things, even
harder than having the child bymyself, for my second kid was
trying to sit still because Iknew and I was so fearful I was
going to get scar tissue againthat I was trying to hold still
while someone was sewing up mymost delicate parts and I had no
(24:20):
scar tissue, I had the healingon.
That was just night and day,and so the fact that I was the
same person and thecircumstances.
Like I said I could feeleverything and I had to just
grin and bear it, trying not tomove, even though my whole body
wanted to jump out and be likestop doing this.
(24:40):
The provider was still able todo of do her thing.
With my second son.
It was completely differentprovider and, like I said, my
recovery and the scarring itwasn't there with my second one.
Stephanie Theriault (24:54):
Do you remember if they gave you a
grade for your tearings, like afirst, second or third degree
tear or a fourth?
Reesa Morala (25:01):
Honestly, I don't know that.
I'm sorry birth.
Stephanie Theriault (25:06):
Honestly, I don't know that.
I'm sorry, that's okay.
I'm just curious.
Regardless your story, I'mimagining you in a rocking chair
feeding your child.
Who is resisting nutrition?
Right, it's an innate urge thatwe have to feed our child.
So you're sitting there, you'rehaving the pain in your vagina,
you're trying to feed yourchild.
You have the physical, theemotional, everything, the
(25:27):
innate urge.
It's just, it's a lot.
So I feel for you, imaginingyou in those postpartum months.
It's a lot.
Reesa Morala (25:35):
It was.
It definitely took a toll and,like I said, I think part of the
piece that made it moredifficult is that I had a lot of
those medical professionals whodidn't seem to hear me and
didn't seem to hear that therewas something seriously going on
here and was writing it off onagain.
I'm a first-time parent, I'mjust acting dramatic whatever
(25:58):
inserts opinion about me hereand so I think that for me just
intensified the loneliness of ofbeing in it and being so hard.
Stephanie Theriault (26:10):
At what point did a provider listen to
you and check down there and seethat there was something
clinically going on that neededtreatment?
Reesa Morala (26:18):
Um, it took, I want to say, a few months into
after postpartum, and it was oneof the other rotating doctors
that I had had a good experiencewith, but I would only have her
once, every kind of blue moonit felt like, and so it didn't
(26:43):
take until she came in and Iexpressed the same thing that I
had been expressing for thoseseveral months, that she was
like you know, let's, let's takea look.
And so then, after that, um,she started.
She was the one that wastreating me and doing the
treatments, um, for the rest ofthe time, and so I didn't rotate
(27:04):
anymore at that point.
For the um it nitrate, silvernitrate, I want to say yeah.
Yeah, so for those treatmentsand so, like I said, it took
that first year before it wasgone and I was able to kind of
move on without the pain.
Stephanie Theriault (27:35):
Nine years later.
I know you did okay with yoursecond, but she's doing good now
.
You're in a much better place.
Reesa Morala (27:41):
Both of my kids.
Yes, he started eating at 18months, so that was our life,
for the first 18 months of hislife, my first 18 months of
being a parent.
But, yes, thankfully, like Isaid, the only kind of residual
is that he's just lower on thegrowth chart, but he eats on his
(28:04):
own.
He's a good eater consideringhis size, and so I'm very
grateful and fortunate for that.
Stephanie Theriault (28:12):
I want for you to share with our listeners
your birth story for your secondchild.
I know we chatted a little bitabout your story when we met,
but I think it's an interestingone because I talk about the
variances of how hospitals canvary in when they let patients
come in, and some hospitals willhave policies where patients
can come in the moment they feellike a Braxton Hicks, and then
(28:34):
some hospitals want patients toreally be in labor.
If you will just share with usa little bit about how you went
into labor and how that ended upplaying out for you, yes, so my
doctor had told me it needed tobe kind of five minutes for an
hour.
As far as the contractions, Ijust want to ask real quickly
(28:56):
before I'm sorry to interruptyou Is it the same doctor as
your first or did you have a newdoctor?
Reesa Morala (29:01):
I had a new doctor .
Stephanie Theriault (29:02):
Okay, perfect.
Reesa Morala (29:04):
New doctor, and same thing happened with the
gestational diabetes.
It came back normal, so Ididn't have to do anything for
that second child.
As far as going to theendocrinologist, yes, I had a
new doctor.
In fact, I found, after all ofthe headache with my first child
and even getting doctors tolisten to what was going on with
him, I had finally found adoctor that I loved and was
(29:27):
listening to us, and so when Ifound out that I was pregnant
with my second child, I went toher and I said do you have
another OB?
Because I don't want to go backto the original one.
And so this was the doctor thatshe said if I were pregnant
right now and I needed somebody,this is who I would go to.
I said, okay, great, that's whoI'm going to go to.
(29:48):
The difficulty, though, withthat is that that doctor, their
hospital, was about 40 minutesaway from where I live, which
for doctor's appointments.
I was fine, I'll go commutethat.
That way it was a much betterexperience.
I'll do it.
Um.
But it also meant that whencame time for labor and I didn't
(30:11):
want to go drive that 40minutes just to get turned away
and told I couldn't be admitted,and have to drive all the way
back and kind of do that thathustle and bustle.
And so the doctor did say thatyou know five minutes for an
hour.
Then, yes, come in.
And so because of that, I wasreally watching my.
(30:32):
At that point I had acontraction app.
It's less fancy than the onesthey have today After nine years
, 10 years.
They've come a long way as faras some of the apps that they
have and that I've seen otherfolks use.
But back then it was just likea timer, pretty much, that kept
a log, and so I would hit abutton when my contraction would
start and I'd turn it off whenI was done.
(30:53):
It would tell me kind of andkeep track of me in that way.
And so, similarly to my firstchild, I was having those really
intense Braxton Hicks orcontractions, whatever you want
to call them, kind of the twoweeks leading up to it.
And so when I was having them,I thought, okay, this is just it
again, this is par for thecourse.
(31:13):
I remember this.
And so I kept working and Iremember the day that I actually
ended up having my second child.
I had gone to work.
It was my last day at work.
And at this point I was atherapist in a school and I was
sitting there through sessions Iwas conducting therapy sessions
, having contractions, so Iwould just sit with my phone.
I would tell them hey, I'm justgoing to keep track of
(31:36):
something over here, no big deal, keep talking.
And so I would hit thecontraction button.
Okay, contraction's over, Iwould turn it off, keep doing my
session.
In fact, at that point I hadone of my kids that I was
working with who had a lot ofanxiety, a lot of kind of ADHD
stuff, and so for him it wasreally helpful if we walked and
(31:57):
talked during our session.
So we would walk.
The school that I was at wasnext to the beach, and so we
would walk all the way down tothe beach while we were doing
our session and then walk allthe way back.
And so I was doing all of thisand I had my phone with me and I
just kept timing myself anddoing my sessions.
And at this point they weren'tconsistent.
(32:18):
They were kind of all over theplace as far as timing, at least
according to my tracker.
So I said, okay, I still havesome time, I'm all good.
And so I just kept doing.
I worked my entire full day.
And I remember cause I even hada meeting afterwards, and so I,
you know, it was a bunch ofaround a bunch of adults and
other women who had had children, and they saw me kind of
(32:39):
keeping time and they were like,do we need to take you to the
hospital?
And I looked at my my timingand I said no, I'm still good.
Let.
No, I'm still good, let's keepgoing.
And so I did.
And then I drove myself home.
In fact, actually I even drovemyself to daycare because my son
was at daycare and so I drovemyself to his daycare to pick
(33:00):
him up.
And all the meanwhile I had myphone right next to me and I
would just reach over, hit thetimer as I'm driving and turn it
off.
When the contraction was doneand I called my husband and I
said, hey, the contractionsthey're not stopping, so I think
that this is a good time foryou to come home.
He said okay, so he got in thecar.
He was like, do we need to justmeet you at the hospital?
(33:21):
I said no, they're notconsistent yet, let's just meet
at home.
And so I went, I picked up myson from daycare, I drove me and
my son back home, and so then Iwent.
After my husband got home, Ileft my son with my husband and
I went into the bedroom to kindof keep going, cause I said I
don't want to go down there andget turned away.
(33:43):
It's such a long drive and Ididn't want to inconvenience
anyone, and at this point wewere two weeks before my quote
unquote due date.
We don't have family in thearea, and so we didn't have
anybody to watch my son becausepeople weren't planning on
coming in until two weeks fromnow.
And so I was like I reallydon't want to like have to, you
(34:04):
know, lug all three of us downthere just to get turned away.
So I said I'll, I'll be in thebedroom and I'll just keep doing
my thing.
And they finally got to thatfive minutes for an hour, and
the minute that they did, I toldmy husband.
I said, hey, it's time for usto go.
I said okay, and so we werepacking up and with the very
(34:26):
next contraction I said stop, Ineed to push, we're not going to
the hospital.
And he said what are youtalking about?
He thought I was joking and Isaid no, I need you to call 911.
And at this point my husbandjust he went into fight or
flight mode, do I say?
And he's freaking out, and sohe's like what I need to call?
(34:49):
Okay, let me get my phone.
And he's just like runningaround the house trying to find
his phone, and meanwhile mywater breaks and I'm just I go
into problem solving mode.
My husband's freaking out, soI'm just like this, this is
going to happen.
I need to figure it out.
And I, the first thing I thoughtwas okay, in the movies they're
in like a tub of water, so letme get to my bathtub, because
(35:12):
that's all I could think of inthat moment.
So I start waddling my way tothe bathtub and my husband,
meanwhile he gets his phone andbecause he's so frantic, instead
of calling 911, he dialed 991.
And so it gives him that, likethis is not a working number,
right.
And so then my husband freaksout, he goes 911 isn't working
(35:35):
and and I'm just trying to likeget myself to a bathtub at this
point, and I was like I need youto figure it out right now.
I just need to get to thebathtub.
And so, like I said, on my walkmy water breaks.
And so I'm like, okay, this islegit happening here.
And I turn on the faucet to thebathtub and the bathtub had
(35:55):
maybe maybe half an inch to aninch of water and when I sat
down to try to sit into thebathtub he just flew right out
and I remember him kind ofskidding across the bathtub in
the water like kind of one ofthose luges, and I was like oh
my gosh, and I like scooped himup and I was like I'm so sorry,
(36:18):
put him on my chest because Iwas like I don't know what to do
.
And so at this point my husbandfinally got an operator, a 911
operator, and because ithappened so fast, he had
literally just gotten on andsaid my baby's having a baby.
Nope, my baby, my, my wife justhad a baby.
And so they're like, okay, likedo you, um, but we need to get
(36:41):
something to tie off theumbilical cord.
And he was like I don't haveanything.
And they were like do you havea shoelace?
And he was like, yes, I can dothat.
Well, out of all of the shoesthat he chose, he chose a hiking
boot that had those like reallyintricate laces, and so he's
trying to like unlace thishiking boot, and it's taking a
really long time, and so,meanwhile, while that happened,
(37:02):
the fire department got there,and so he didn't even get the
shoelace unstr'm strong.
And the fire department showedup.
At this point in my life, Ifelt like I was a fairly
conservative person as far asdress wise.
At this point, I'm completelynaked in my bathtub, and five
male firefighters jammed into mybathroom in all my full glory,
(37:25):
and I was just sitting there andI was like hey guys, thanks for
coming, here's my baby.
And they were all just veryfrazzled.
Yeah.
And kept saying we needso-and-so, and it was a name.
And I was like who's thisperson, who's this magical
person that they're waiting forand so they're trying to like
(37:47):
they cut the umbilical cord andthey're just saying we need so
and so we need so and so.
And finally this person emerged.
It was the only femalefirefighter they had on staff
and the minute she showed upthey shoved the baby in her
direction, was like here you go.
And then they came and theytook care of me and I was like,
okay, so you guys are still verylike, we need a woman to come
(38:16):
take care of this baby.
And so then they surrounded me,they got me in a gurney and
took me, but because at thispoint I'd been only doing it by
myself, I had not delivered theplacenta yet, and so they were
concerned with the blood lossthere, and so it was in the
ambulance that they were we needto get this out of you because
you're continuing to bleed atthis point.
And so the female the onlyfemale firefighter helped me
(38:36):
deliver the placenta.
I held baby while she helped meget that out, and I was able to
get it out.
I was again very, veryfortunate.
Probably the best case scenariofor my baby, that I didn't lose
enough blood that I needed atransfusion so that we were able
to kind of get things undercontrol.
Like I said, the only kind ofdifference was getting me sewn
(38:57):
up once.
I did get to the hospital but hehad come so fast.
It was so funny.
I had nurses coming to visit usbecause they had heard about
the bathtub baby that's whatthey were calling him and the
remark that I kept getting isthey had never seen a head so
round.
So when the nurses were comingin they were like, oh my gosh,
(39:18):
his head is so round.
And I just kept hearing thatand it stuck out because it's
the strangest thing to hearpeople say about how round his
head was.
But they were telling me thatit must have been because he
wasn't in the canal for a verylong time, that his head was
very round, and so I became thisattraction, my baby's head, and
we became this.
Stephanie Theriault (39:38):
Like everybody came to visit us that
was working before that nightand even to the next day as a
labor and delivery nurse, likewe love when women come in home
births, it's it's just like it'sso infrequent that we get to
(40:02):
see it, so we're all just likelet's go check this out, okay.
Well, that makes a little bitmore sense now.
That's awesome, though.
So I'm curious for yourimmediate postpartum recovery.
How was it different at allwith your first and your second,
since you had two like verydifferent experiences?
Reesa Morala (40:19):
I think it was a little bit more straightforward
and it also felt easier because,again, I wasn't having all
those complications so the factthat I wasn't having this
significant amount of painbecause I didn't have family
there to watch my son.
I begged to get out of thehospital as soon as I can.
I was healing up pretty fast.
So they did let me go.
I spent one overnight with themand I apologize too the night
(40:43):
because I came in in the evening.
So technically there was thatone overnight and then I had one
more, and so they let me go thenext day, which was a lot
shorter than my first time.
And then when I got home, like Isaid and again, how much of it
is skewed by the fact that I hada toddler I had to take care of
at the same time, so I don'tnecessarily remember sitting in
(41:06):
it in that way that very wellcould be at play.
Also, as I mentioned, I didn'thave quite the pain that I had.
I had pain, of course, becauseI was a whole lot that you know.
My body went to war and back.
Mm, hmm.
At the same time it wasn't quiteas drawn out, I think, as my
(41:27):
first, and then with feeding myson, he didn't quite have the
same issues that my first sonhad.
He did need to move over to acompletely broken down amino
acid formula though because hehad some tummy issues with the
breast milk and any other kindof formulas that weren't as
broken down but because, again,I had at this point had already
(41:48):
found and gone through theheadache of finding a good
doctor for my first son.
But this doctor was alreadyvery, very familiar and so the
minute that there was any kindof tummy troubles we were like,
okay, let's go into problemsolving mode.
We were able to kind of findhim a formula fairly quickly and
then once we found that he ate,no problem.
(42:08):
So things moved a little bitfaster as far as when there were
any issues we were able to geta little bit more movement.
I remember going to my firstappointment because I didn't I
wasn't there for my actualdoctor with my second son to
(42:29):
deliver, and he even came in.
I remember the doctor came into round on me after that next
morning and he said why didn'tyou come in sooner so you could
have the baby here, and I said Iwas trying to follow what you
said.
And I pulled out my app and Ishowed him the inconsistencies
between my contractions.
I said it didn't and I can't, Iwanted to come.
(42:50):
The minute that they did see,look at my, look at my app, and,
um, he was like oh, wow, yeah,okay, I see that.
And so the first time I cameback, though, to see him, he did
check out my stitches, and heeven remarked he was like she
stitched up really nicely, greatjob.
And he made that comment, andso, again, for me that was
(43:11):
another sign that this was thiswas very different Um, that even
the doctor kind of made anaudible like oh yeah, you know
she did good.
Stephanie Theriault (43:34):
I want to turn the conversation over to
your company.
I'm looking at your website andthere are a lot of different
things that you offer.
When I first went here I wasassuming, okay, general couples
counseling, therapy, but youhave a lot going on.
You have couples counseling,you have couples intensive,
which I think is veryinteresting.
I'd like for you to share withus a little bit about and then
(43:57):
also bringing baby home workshop, parenting workshop.
I like how it's not just onething, that you really bring all
the things together that canaffect couples in parenthood
that we don't really anticipatewhen we're pregnant and before
we become parents.
I'm curious when you startedEmbrace Renewal Therapy and
(44:18):
Wellness Collective, did youhave all these ideas in mind, or
was it kind of like an organicprocess that these different
workshops came together?
Reesa Morala (44:27):
So a little bit of yes, a little bit of no, okay,
and I say that because, as Imentioned, the first half of my
therapy career, I was working alot with the children and their
families, and for me some of thedifficulty is that it felt more
reactive treatment, like oncethere was kind of a problem, I
mean.
And sometimes by the time theycame to see me, we're talking
(44:50):
higher level of acuity.
At that point usually theparents were at their wits end
and they would just kind of dropoff their kid and say, hey, fix
my kid, please, make it better.
And then they would kind ofleave because they're
overwhelmed, they've got a tonon their plate.
And the difficulty is I coulddo some really great work with
the kids, but if I'm sendingthem right back home to the same
kind of stressed outenvironment or what have you, it
(45:12):
felt very fruitless and Ididn't love the feeling.
I didn't feel like I was beinghelpful and I want to be helpful
, and so I really had to take astep back and figure out okay,
how can I be more preventativein my care?
And so what I found is actuallythere's one, there's a lot less
support for parents than thereought to be considering how hard
(45:35):
this is and the fact that theseparents are holding the future
of our generation in their hands.
There needs to be 10 times moreof the amount of resources and
support that's out there, in mypersonal opinion.
And so there's not.
We focus a lot, you know, a lotof times the couples therapy
they're already again theirhigher level of acuity.
It takes a breakdown for themto finally come into the room
(45:57):
Because, again, I think a lot ofthe parents that I ended up
seeing there's this mentality ofmy kids need to come first.
And so, even if that means, youknow, sacrificing my own
wellness, my own relationshipwellness, well, that's what I
need to do in order to make surethat this kid is thriving and
doing good.
And so my hope and the designwhen I ended up kind of opening
(46:18):
up this practice was how can Iactually support more the parent
side of things and the parents,their own wellness, their
relationship wellness, so thatthey have permission that it's
okay and, in fact, verynecessary for them to to take
some time for themselves andmake sure that they're good, and
once they do that, it actuallyallows them more capacity to
show up for their kids in theway that they really want to and
(46:40):
they really desire and dream of.
So I went and I got additionalcertifications.
No-transcript.
(47:12):
Bringing Baby Home is onethat's specifically designed for
folks that are either planningon having children, expecting a
child, or have them between zeroand three, and it can be for
your first kid, it can be foryour fifth kid, because anytime
we're bringing in a new child tothe mix, it's a new dynamic and
it's a new transition.
And so, really, how can Iempower couples to have the
(47:36):
resources, to have the tools toreally support their thriving
and then, ultimately, theirfamilies thriving as well?
Stephanie Theriault (47:43):
Talk to us a little bit about the
difference between couplescounseling and then couples
intensives.
Reesa Morala (47:49):
Yeah.
So couples counseling that Ioffer, I am, as you mentioned,
licensed in California, sothat's going to be for anybody
who is physically in the stateof California that I offer, kind
of your traditional one-on-onetherapy that's weekly or
biweekly, based off of needs,and so that's kind of what you
would think of when you think oftraditional therapy.
(48:10):
The couples intensives that Ioffer is usually over one
weekend, and so I have folksthat will come in.
I'm in Southern California winecountry so we have lots of
wineries around us and sothey'll come kind of for like
their own little retreat, if youwill.
They'll do an intensive weekendwith me, and that's really
ideal for folks that have for usto really do some really nice
(48:35):
deep, focused work on one to twoareas that they're feeling some
pain points.
So, for example, I've got somecouples who maybe there's just
one particular topic, maybe it'sextended family, right, the
in-laws that just every timethat topic comes up they just
hit a wall and they get reallystuck in it.
So that's a great one that wego in and we figure out what's
(48:56):
tripping them up, what's thatpattern that they kind of fall
into, and let's do some reallygreat deep work and getting you
unstuck from that all within aweekend.
And so they can do some of thatsessions with me during the day
and then in the evening, like Isaid, they can go to the
wineries.
They can just have a littlekind of weekend retreat and so
that's what folks will come inand do the intensives for, and
(49:18):
so if they need periodictune-ups, they have that ability
.
But really the idea is thatit's kind of a one in do some
deep work to really kind of hita big pain point for them.
Stephanie Theriault (49:31):
Do you find that couples come for the
couples intensive?
Are they coming from mostlyclose by, or do you get couples
from maybe the East coast?
Reesa Morala (49:41):
Yeah, it's open to anybody and folks will, like I
said they'll, they'll kind ofmake a little a little retreat
weekend out of it for themselvesthemselves, like a marriage
retreat, and be able to workhere.
You just have to physically behere when I see you and that's
it.
So that's kind of the pros andcons.
Like I said, you would justhave to physically be here for
either the counseling or theintensives, the workshops I do
(50:04):
offer virtually, and so that'sopen to anybody worldwide.
If you have access to internet,you can.
You can sign up for any ofthose workshops that I offer.
Stephanie Theriault (50:13):
I read on your site you wrote don't let my
skincare routine fool you.
I'm a mom of two and with mypartner for 16 years.
I know firsthand how hard thisshit is.
Uh-huh, I know firsthand howhard this shit is.
I love that you put that outthere.
I feel like it's so personable.
We, as parents, we go throughthe postpartum period and it's
(50:35):
hard.
This is so real and it's so raw.
Whoever needs to find services,find help, find therapy so they
can find that relationship,they can find themselves again,
feel comfortable coming to youbecause we're all human, we're
all just like each other andwe're all going through it and
we all just need somebody tohelp us get through those
(50:58):
difficult postpartum period.
Reesa Morala (50:59):
You're so right.
It is hard and I think thatthat's one of the reasons, again
with my own journey, that itwas so important to me to also
go into this and be that supportthat I wish I had when I was
going through my own heart,because it was really lonely and
it can feel really isolating.
And that's probably the numberone thing I hear from so many
(51:22):
parents over and over is that,especially with our social media
and the movies, there's a verybig discrepancy in what actually
happens as a parent and whatyou're experiencing versus what
gets depicted or what getstalked about frankly.
Stephanie Theriault (51:37):
One last question For anyone who's
listening and they might begoing through something similar,
in which something clinicallyis happening to them or their
child and they don't believethat the providers in their care
are listening to them.
What advice would you give tohelp them be seen, be heard and
(51:57):
to get the help that they need?
Reesa Morala (51:59):
I think that the biggest one that I have found
for myself on a personal sideand professionally is really
kind of honoring your own gutand what's happening.
So if something is wrong, ifyour gut is trying to send you a
message that usually that'scoming from a real place, in the
(52:23):
sense that your body is tryingto send you signals that we're
feeling like this needs to atleast be seen and heard.
Maybe it is just you know ustaking extra precautions and
that's okay too.
And so if you have a providerthat isn't listening to you and
you have the ability to find adifferent provider, 100% that
(52:46):
that's okay to kind of findsomeone who will listen to you
and who does get it.
Like I said, I had to find acouple different pediatricians.
It took a completely new OB tofinally find people that were
listening to me, and it was amuch different experience with
my second child, and so it'sokay to kind of go find those
(53:09):
people if you have the ability,and if you don't, again
continuing to just get big, letthem know, really using as clear
kind of emotion words like hey,this is, even if you don't
agree with me, can you at leasthumor me right now and let's
just pretend that maybesomething is.
Could we do a little extra testor just spend a little extra
(53:32):
time listening to me and reallyknowing that it's absolutely
okay for you to advocate foryourself, if you are speaking in
a respectful way and respectingyourself, respecting the
provider, speaking in arespectful way and respecting
yourself, respecting theprovider, that it's okay to
express your complaints and, infact, it's very, very much
appropriate for you to express acomplaint and have those people
(53:55):
hear you.
No matter what provider it is,you still deserve to be treated
with respect and kindness andwith care.
Stephanie Theriault (54:18):
Risa.
If our listeners want to learnmore about you and find your
practice, how can they find you?
Reesa Morala (54:21):
Best way to find me is through my website.
It's calledembracerenewaltherapycom, and
you'll find everything.
You'll find links to theworkshops, the workshop dates If
you would like to come see mefor a retreat weekend.
All of that is on there.
You'll also find access to myown podcast called the Real
Family Eats, where all we do iswe talk about the real stuff
(54:43):
that actually happens withparenting and how hard it is.
At the same time, every guestthat comes on shares a recipe,
so you'll get to hear a storythat is probably very relatable,
something that you'veexperienced or you know someone
who has, and you get a recipeout of it too, and so all of
that is on my website.
Stephanie Theriault (55:01):
We will attach all links to your social
media and to your website.
Thank you so much for coming onand being open and vulnerable
and sharing your story.
The reason why I'm doing thispodcast is so we can teach,
learn, heal and grow together,so I really appreciate you
taking time at a busy scheduleto meet with me and share your
story on our show.
Reesa Morala (55:22):
Thank you so much for having me.
I appreciate it.
Hey there, amazing listeners.
Stephanie Theriault (55:40):
If you love what we do and want to see our
podcast grow, we need your help.
By making a donation, you'll besupporting us and bringing you
even more great content.
I truly believe creating thisspace for women all across the
globe to share their story willallow us to collectively heal,
grow and become more empoweredin the space that we deserve to
(56:02):
be.
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this.
Welcome to the Maternal Wealth Podcast, a
space for all things related tomaternal health, pregnancy and
beyond.
I'm your host, stephanie Terrio.
I'm a labor and delivery nurseand a mother to three beautiful
boys.
Each week, we dive intoinspiring stories and expert
insights to remind us of thepower that you hold in
childbirth and motherhood.
We're here to explore the joys,the challenges and the
(00:33):
complexities of maternal health.
Every mother's journey isunique and every story deserves
to be told.
Please note that this podcastis for entertainment purposes
only.
It is not intended to replaceprofessional medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment.
Always consult with yourhealthcare provider for medical
guidance that is tailored toyour specific needs.
(00:54):
Are you ready?
Let's get into it.
Today.
We welcome Risa Morala.
(01:15):
She is a licensed marriage andfamily therapist.
Located in California, she ownsEmbrace Renewal Therapy and
Wellness Collective.
Let's welcome Risa Morala.
Reesa Morala (01:23):
Hi, thank you so much for having me.
Stephanie Theriault (01:25):
Thank you so much for being here.
I would love to start off theepisode learning about yourself
before you became a parent.
Reesa Morala (01:32):
Yes, so myself before I became a therapist, I
was actually.
I got my bachelor's degree inmusical theater.
Surprisingly enough, andthrough my own journey, kind of
at the end of my time getting mybachelor's degree, I had a
medical diagnosis that kind oftook me out of that world,
(01:52):
forced me to go back to thedrawing board, figure out what
my plan B was.
Prior to that, though, I wasborn and raised kind of all over
the world lots of differentcountries that I lived in and
states that I've lived in sokind of all over the place I
grew up.
I'm Filipino American, sothere's lots of stuff there as
(02:12):
far as just a little bit aboutmy background and kind of the
home environment that I grew upin Definitely was a little bit
more of a chaotic homeenvironment, which I think has
really influenced my currentfocus as well and my specialties
that I do now as a therapist.
Stephanie Theriault (02:30):
So, essentially, were you having the
idea of becoming a marriage andfamily therapist prior to
having children?
Reesa Morala (02:37):
Yes, so I was actually at the end of my degree
when I was pregnant.
Stephanie Theriault (02:43):
Yeah, I love a good love story.
Would you share with us how youand your partner met?
Reesa Morala (02:51):
Yes, my story is probably a little bit different
than the version he likes totell, but I find that that
happens a lot.
We met in undergrad and he wasmy orientation leader my
freshman year, okay, and weactually didn't start dating
until he had graduated.
But we had lots of run-ins witheach other, really random
(03:13):
awkward run-ins, and then themost awkward was when he came
back.
I actually later became anorientation leader myself, so I
kind of took his position oncehe graduated orientation leader
myself.
So I kind of took his positiononce he graduated, okay, and he
came back just to visit for oneof the campus events that we
were doing during orientationand there was a person.
(03:38):
I was going around checking thetables and there was a person
who was just very awkward andsaid something that was
incredibly uncomfortable for thewhole table and I said, okay,
well, you know, I'm going to gonow, cause I it was very awkward
for me and my now husband waslike, oh, my car is that way,
I'm going to, I'm just going towalk you, okay.
And he is a talker, and so thisis an Illinois and I am
(03:59):
generally.
That was the coldest place Ihad ever lived in my life and
I'd grown up in warmer islandclimate.
This was in the middle ofwinter and he just kept talking
and talking, and talking.
And I was at my dorm alreadyand I said it's way too cold out
here and he's just continuingto talk and I felt really bad.
(04:21):
So I was like, did you want tocome up, because I'm really cold
?
And we continued to talk till5am the next morning and we've
been together ever since.
Stephanie Theriault (04:35):
Did you always know that you wanted to
be a mom?
Reesa Morala (04:38):
Yes, I was one of those folks that I'd been told a
lot growing up oh, you'd besuch a great mother.
I think some of that came.
As I mentioned, I grew up in achaotic kind of home environment
and I was in this reallyinteresting dynamic because I
have two older siblings, butthey're much older than me and
(05:00):
much older than my youngersiblings because my younger
siblings are much younger thanme.
So I was kind of right smack inthe middle by myself a little
bit.
So I was with my older siblingsas a younger child, but then
they left the house and then Ibecame the older sibling for my
younger siblings that were bornlater, once my older ones left.
And during that period with myyounger siblings there was a lot
(05:23):
of abuse that was going on inthe home physical abuse,
emotional abuse and so Idefinitely found myself kind of
taking on that protector rolefor my younger siblings and so
that was very much kind ofinnately something.
That's a role that I took onreally young and just kind of
continued.
I ended up continuing to workwith kids, even in my therapy
(05:47):
career, for the first half of mycareer was working with kids,
because I had always worked withkids and people would always
tell me, oh, you'd be such agreat mother, and so I'd always
had it in my head that, oh well,I'm told that this is something
I'm good at, so this is what Ishould do, this is my next path,
and that's what society tellsyou.
You get married, you have kids,all these things, and so I was
(06:08):
definitely kind of a rulefollower in that way, and so I
don't think that I ever knew anidea of not having children 11
and 9.
Stephanie Theriault (06:27):
And would you share with us did you plan
for your pregnancies?
Was it a surprise pregnancy?
And then, how was your firstpregnancy?
Reesa Morala (06:30):
I did plan for these pregnancies.
I was very fortunate in thefact that it happened quicker
than maybe I anticipated it,because I was prepared.
You hear a lot that it can takea while.
So mine was planned because ofmy own personal medical.
I was on medications thataren't good for having children,
(06:51):
and so it was a consciouschoice to kind of titrate myself
off of those medications sothat I could be able to start
having, or at least start tryingto have, kids.
And I was incredibly fortunatethat after I actually stopped my
medication within the nextcycle I was pregnant.
And I remember when I found outthat I was pregnant because,
(07:12):
again, we were trying.
So it was one of those thingswhere I was consistently looking
and tracking and, okay, is thisit?
And I remember my husband.
He travels a lot for work andso it was one of his business
trips that he was out of townfor.
So I was by myself when I foundout.
And I remember because theywould, I remember reading that,
(07:37):
oh, the best time to take apregnancy is for, you know,
first thing in the morning kindof deal, and so I would set a
pregnancy test on the toiletseat just to remind me, you know
, when I got up, and forwhatever reason, that particular
day I got up really early I'mtalking like 3 am in the morning
, and then I saw the pregnancytest and I was like, oh well,
technically this is first thingin the morning, okay, and sure
(07:59):
enough, it was positive.
So I didn't go back to sleep.
Nonetheless, at 3 am in themorning there was no way I was
going back to sleep for that,and so I was up just waiting for
it.
My husband was coming back intotown that day and I was like,
oh my gosh, I need, like I needto tell him, I want to tell the
person, and so that was kind ofhow, how that all happened.
And then, moving forward, therest of my pregnancy, I was, I
(08:20):
felt like I was doing reallygood.
Again, being a rule follower, Iwas reading all of the books.
I was not one of those folksthat liked to read kind of the
fluffier books.
I wanted hard, cold facts.
And maybe that's because, again, what I do, there's a science
to my job now and so I wantedthe hard science.
So I was reading the big MayoClinic give me all the facts.
(08:44):
And so if I'm going to go intothis.
I want to know exactly what toexpect, and so I was doing all
the things, following all of therecommendations.
I don't think I've ever eatenbetter in my life than when I
was pregnant, because, again, itwasn't about me, it was about
this other person.
So you're telling me I have tolike chug down a kale smoothie
(09:08):
and chunks and all that.
I was going to do it becausethat's what, you know, they
would say is best for my baby.
Kind of the bump started for mein my pregnancy journey when I
went for my gestational diabetestest and because I'm Filipino,
(09:31):
american and I have a highhistory family history at least
of diabetes, that the doctorthat I was seeing, even though
my test came back under themarks, even though my test came
back under the marks, I was likeno, she just looked at me based
on looks, and I don't want tosay that I've always been, I've
(09:53):
never been a bone-thin kind ofperson, if that makes sense.
I was never necessarilycompletely overweight, but I
think that when people see me,they don't think skinny, if you
will.
And so she was looking at meand, even though the numbers
were saying something, she'slooking at the way that I look,
she's looking at the fact thatmy family has a history of
(10:16):
diabetes inside.
No, I don't care what the testssay, you have to follow this
track, go see a doctor, anendocrinologist, for this, and
it needs to be monitored and youneed to kind of take on this
new protocol.
And so I was going to thespecialist and even he was
looking at me and going well,your numbers aren't saying this.
(10:37):
I don't know what your doctoris wanting from me.
So just keep doing what you'redoing and I guess check your
blood sugars.
And that's all we can really dois just make doing what you're
doing and I guess check yourblood sugars, and that's all we
can really do is just make sureyou've got it.
And so at that point again,hearing that and hearing this
doctor tell me well, this mustbe an issue.
Again, going back to the factthat that protector in me is
(11:01):
very, very strong from, like Isaid, from childhood, I was kind
of immediately sent into justhigh anxiety and very, almost
very rigid because, okay,they're telling me that I could
harm my baby, and so there wasjust tons of fear, tons of
anxiety that was just laced in.
It was overly kind of checkingeverything and why I can't eat
(11:23):
that because they say thatthat's going to make it worse,
and just the amount of fear thatthis doctor kind of instilled
in me.
It was really crippling.
So much so that, because of howstringent I had become out of
this fear that, you know, thisdoctor was trying to tell me I
was going to hurt my baby, ifyou will, and hurt myself in
(11:47):
that way that after I had thebaby I had lost about 30 pounds
from my starting weight before Igot pregnant.
Because of how much I was juststrapped in and just so fearful
that I was going to do the wrongthing.
Stephanie Theriault (12:04):
So when you had the glucose screen, the
labs came back normal and evenwith the normal labs, the doctor
still sent you to endo forfurther follow-up.
That's what you're saying.
Yes, did you continue testingyour sugars also throughout the
pregnancy and they were normaland everything was fine.
Reesa Morala (12:24):
Yes.
Stephanie Theriault (12:25):
Wow yeah.
Reesa Morala (12:26):
I kept because, again, I was trying to do the
right thing.
I kept food logs.
I was testing my sugars.
They were all coming backnormal.
I never once took anymedications.
My you know the endocrinologist.
He would just be like, okay,what are your numbers?
He'd be like it all looks good.
I don't know what else to tellyou, but because I don't know
what this other doctor, your OB,wants, just keep doing what
(12:50):
you're doing, I guess.
And that was it.
I remember my endocrinologistappointments.
They were so fast I was in andout of there all the time
because there was nothing to doand so I was just like, well,
okay, I guess I have to justkeep doing this.
And so I had to.
You know, they made me increasemy OB appointments.
(13:10):
I had to do the non-stresstests for like the last month or
two.
I can't remember.
Sorry, it was like 11 years ago.
I'm trying to remember now.
But I had to do the non-stresstests.
I mean the whole thing becauseand she kept, I remember her
measuring my belly and theamount of times that she'd be
like, oh my gosh, you're gettingtoo big, you're getting too big
(13:34):
, and just it would.
It scared me as a first timeparent.
This is my first child and Iwas trying so hard to do it
right, if you will.
Stephanie Theriault (13:43):
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
Coming from the perspective ofa labor and delivery nurse and
being at bedside with mypatients and hearing in your
voice how this affected you,hearing it in your story, I want
to say I'm sorry that happenedto you.
I wish you, I wish you had arelationship with a birth
provider that was able tosupport you more in giving you
(14:06):
the accurate information and thesupport that you needed.
I'm curious how much did heweigh when he was born?
Reesa Morala (14:12):
He was gosh.
You're going to test me now.
He was under seven pounds.
Stephanie Theriault (14:17):
Under seven pounds.
Okay, yeah, that is difficultto hear.
Reesa Morala (14:21):
I was just going to say he was small, so much so
that the doctor so that samedoctor was the one that
delivered him and she did an.
Audibly.
He's a lot smaller than Ithought he was going to be as
she delivered him Because ofagain in her mind he was going
to be huge, based off of how Iwas measuring, based off of her
(14:41):
preconceived kind of notionsabout me and the way that I
looked.
That she she did, I remember,because, like he was, he was
tiny.
The biggest thing on him washis head.
He was a 99 percentile for hishead circumference, so that was
the biggest, and the rest of hisbody, I mean, even now, he's
always been on the low end, likeit's work to get him onto a
(15:05):
growth chart.
That's how small he is andthat's been his whole life.
Stephanie Theriault (15:19):
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all of which can directly affectyour birth experience and
outcome.
Did they induce you or did yougo into labor?
Reesa Morala (16:41):
So I was scheduled to be induced that evening at 6
pm.
He arrived at4 pm that same dayand so they had scheduled me
because again, they were sayingyou're getting so huge, he has
to come out, this is gettingdangerous.
And that's the evening before Iwas supposed to go in is when
(17:02):
official labor started.
Stephanie Theriault (17:03):
The practice that you were being
seen prenatally.
Was it a private practice wherethere was just one OB, or was
it a practice in which therewere multiple OBs that you
rotated through?
Reesa Morala (17:15):
Multiple OBs that I rotated through.
Stephanie Theriault (17:18):
And then, when the day that you went into
labor, it just happened to bethe day that this particular
doctor was on.
Reesa Morala (17:24):
Yes, it was incredibly upsetting for me.
Stephanie Theriault (17:29):
I can imagine.
Reesa Morala (17:30):
Yeah.
Stephanie Theriault (17:30):
How was the delivery and the pushing?
Did you push for a while orbecause of his size, he kind of
just slid on out?
Reesa Morala (17:39):
Yeah, it was really interesting how it
happened.
So I was actually having fairlystrong contractions for about
two weeks leading up to actualactive labor.
And I say that because, since Iwas doing the non-stress test,
there were multiple times wherethey saw them while I was
strapped up to the machine andthey were like, oh yeah, that's
(18:00):
a legit contraction, it's morethan just like a Braxton Hicks,
and I was having those for abouttwo weeks leading up.
So when things got moving, ifyou will, they moved fairly fast
.
I remember that my so one of mychronic illnesses does put a
lot of stress on my body, and somy blood pressure was starting
(18:23):
to go up.
Once I was in the hospital andthat same doctor kept coming in
and saying well, I think thatthis is going to be dangerous
for babies, because at thatpoint I had been doing it with
no medications, and they said Ithink that you need to get an
epidural.
I was at first saying I can dothis, I'm capable, I can do this
(18:45):
.
And they were saying, no, yourblood pressure is going too high
, you need to do an epidural.
And so again, they startthrowing out this could hurt
baby, as I mentioned very muchprotector.
So I'm like okay, well, ifyou're telling me that this is
what I need to do for baby, thenfine, let's do it.
And so the person who wasgiving me my epidural stuck me
(19:10):
about five times and couldn'tget it Finally said they got it
but it wasn't working.
I could feel everything.
I told them I could move, andthey're like oh well, give it
some time, give it some time.
Well, meanwhile he's coming.
And so I told the nurse that waswith me.
I said I feel like I need topush.
And so she, she was like okay,well, let's see, let's see.
And she's like well, yeah, youknow, you're completely dilated,
(19:33):
which she was a little bitsurprised about, cause I had
only been there, like I said,for a short amount of time and
they had just given me theepidural at this point, as far
as it finally quote unquote wasin.
And she was like okay, let'stry it.
And I was able to get a pushthat she said that's exactly it.
If you can do that, he'll beout, no problem.
And I said, okay, well, since Iknow what it feels, I can still
(19:56):
feel everything.
Let me do that again.
And so I did only maybe acouple more pushes and she was
like okay, I need you to hold on, I need to go get the doctor.
I said okay, and so then thedoctor came in and again
preconceived notion.
She was like no way Is sheready.
She just got in here and so shegoes to check and double check
the nurse's work.
(20:16):
Didn't believe the nurse.
And then I pushed again and shewas like whoa, hang on a second
.
And she was like quit, gownherself and within just a couple
more pushes he was out.
It wasn't until after he wasout that the epidural kicked in.
Okay, so then, after you werejust epiduralized for your
postpartum recovery, yes, yes,and unfortunately not only did
(20:41):
this provider I have thatexperience with her kind of
leading up to it but the waythat she stitched me up I had
significant scarring tissue thatrequired oh gosh, I can't
remember where they do theswabbing to kind of burn it off,
if you will.
I had to do that for the nextyear.
Stephanie Theriault (21:01):
So how did you know that you had the
scarring?
What kind of symptoms were youhaving?
Reesa Morala (21:06):
next year.
So how did you know that youhad the scarring?
What kind of symptoms were youhaving?
I had significant pain evenjust with sitting down Any tight
pants, jeans.
I was in tears, I could not.
Having sex was just a nightmare, and my child also ended up
having some health issues, asfar as he stopped eating at
(21:26):
three months old, and I thinkagain, some of that was because
doctors weren't listening to meto intervene sooner before we
got to the place where hestopped eating.
So at that point the only waythat I was able to get food into
him is I had to do kind of a.
What I now know is maybe kindof a very, very rough version of
(21:48):
dream feed which had me kind ofI had to rock him because he
wouldn't take a bottle, hewouldn't take breast, he
wouldn't take formula andnothing, just would not eat.
Stephanie Theriault (21:59):
Okay.
Reesa Morala (21:59):
And so I had to essentially get him to the point
where he was about to fallasleep, where his automatic kind
of functions would take overand he would latch, and then get
him to fall asleep so that hewouldn't resist eating, and I
would hand express milk into himwhile he slept.
And so I generally did that ina rocking chair, trying to keep
(22:22):
him asleep while I handexpressed milk into him, and so
that was sitting, and so I wouldjust be in excruciating pain
from sitting and the scar tissuepain, because I don't have a
baby that's participating in theeating.
So I was doing all the work andtrying to do it while he was
sleeping, so the whole sleepwhen baby sleeps.
I couldn't do that because Ihad to feed him while he slept
(22:45):
and so it was awful, and then Iwould go into the appointments
to do the treatment, if you will.
I mean, it was just, it waspainful and, like I said, I had
to do multiples of those, to thepoint that they were saying, if
it doesn't get any better, wemight have to recut you and try
to sew it back up.
Part of the reason why that Iknow that it was more, in my
(23:09):
opinion at least that it wasmore on the provider side and
less me is because with mysecond child so with that sew up
, if you will at that point myepidural had already kicked in,
so I wasn't moving.
There wasn't any of that versusmy second child.
So he was a surprise home birth,and then I got rushed to the
(23:33):
hospital via ambulance and so bythe time I got to the doctor
and I got sewn up with my secondchild, I didn't have the
epidural for sure, and all ofthe adrenaline from having a
baby had worn off, so I couldfeel every.
They tried to give me somenumbing but, truth be told, it
(23:55):
really didn't do much for me,and so I could feel every single
stitch and it was probably oneof the hardest things, even
harder than having the child bymyself, for my second kid was
trying to sit still because Iknew and I was so fearful I was
going to get scar tissue againthat I was trying to hold still
while someone was sewing up mymost delicate parts and I had no
(24:20):
scar tissue, I had the healingon.
That was just night and day,and so the fact that I was the
same person and thecircumstances.
Like I said I could feeleverything and I had to just
grin and bear it, trying not tomove, even though my whole body
wanted to jump out and be likestop doing this.
(24:40):
The provider was still able todo of do her thing.
With my second son.
It was completely differentprovider and, like I said, my
recovery and the scarring itwasn't there with my second one.
Stephanie Theriault (24:54):
Do you remember if they gave you a
grade for your tearings, like afirst, second or third degree
tear or a fourth?
Reesa Morala (25:01):
Honestly, I don't know that.
I'm sorry birth.
Stephanie Theriault (25:06):
Honestly, I don't know that.
I'm sorry, that's okay.
I'm just curious.
Regardless your story, I'mimagining you in a rocking chair
feeding your child.
Who is resisting nutrition?
Right, it's an innate urge thatwe have to feed our child.
So you're sitting there, you'rehaving the pain in your vagina,
you're trying to feed yourchild.
You have the physical, theemotional, everything, the
(25:27):
innate urge.
It's just, it's a lot.
So I feel for you, imaginingyou in those postpartum months.
It's a lot.
Reesa Morala (25:35):
It was.
It definitely took a toll and,like I said, I think part of the
piece that made it moredifficult is that I had a lot of
those medical professionals whodidn't seem to hear me and
didn't seem to hear that therewas something seriously going on
here and was writing it off onagain.
I'm a first-time parent, I'mjust acting dramatic whatever
(25:58):
inserts opinion about me hereand so I think that for me just
intensified the loneliness of ofbeing in it and being so hard.
Stephanie Theriault (26:10):
At what point did a provider listen to
you and check down there and seethat there was something
clinically going on that neededtreatment?
Reesa Morala (26:18):
Um, it took, I want to say, a few months into
after postpartum, and it was oneof the other rotating doctors
that I had had a good experiencewith, but I would only have her
once, every kind of blue moonit felt like, and so it didn't
(26:43):
take until she came in and Iexpressed the same thing that I
had been expressing for thoseseveral months, that she was
like you know, let's, let's takea look.
And so then, after that, um,she started.
She was the one that wastreating me and doing the
treatments, um, for the rest ofthe time, and so I didn't rotate
(27:04):
anymore at that point.
For the um it nitrate, silvernitrate, I want to say yeah.
Yeah, so for those treatmentsand so, like I said, it took
that first year before it wasgone and I was able to kind of
move on without the pain.
Stephanie Theriault (27:35):
Nine years later.
I know you did okay with yoursecond, but she's doing good now
.
You're in a much better place.
Reesa Morala (27:41):
Both of my kids.
Yes, he started eating at 18months, so that was our life,
for the first 18 months of hislife, my first 18 months of
being a parent.
But, yes, thankfully, like Isaid, the only kind of residual
is that he's just lower on thegrowth chart, but he eats on his
(28:04):
own.
He's a good eater consideringhis size, and so I'm very
grateful and fortunate for that.
Stephanie Theriault (28:12):
I want for you to share with our listeners
your birth story for your secondchild.
I know we chatted a little bitabout your story when we met,
but I think it's an interestingone because I talk about the
variances of how hospitals canvary in when they let patients
come in, and some hospitals willhave policies where patients
can come in the moment they feellike a Braxton Hicks, and then
(28:34):
some hospitals want patients toreally be in labor.
If you will just share with usa little bit about how you went
into labor and how that ended upplaying out for you, yes, so my
doctor had told me it needed tobe kind of five minutes for an
hour.
As far as the contractions, Ijust want to ask real quickly
(28:56):
before I'm sorry to interruptyou Is it the same doctor as
your first or did you have a newdoctor?
Reesa Morala (29:01):
I had a new doctor .
Stephanie Theriault (29:02):
Okay, perfect.
Reesa Morala (29:04):
New doctor, and same thing happened with the
gestational diabetes.
It came back normal, so Ididn't have to do anything for
that second child.
As far as going to theendocrinologist, yes, I had a
new doctor.
In fact, I found, after all ofthe headache with my first child
and even getting doctors tolisten to what was going on with
him, I had finally found adoctor that I loved and was
(29:27):
listening to us, and so when Ifound out that I was pregnant
with my second child, I went toher and I said do you have
another OB?
Because I don't want to go backto the original one.
And so this was the doctor thatshe said if I were pregnant
right now and I needed somebody,this is who I would go to.
I said, okay, great, that's whoI'm going to go to.
(29:48):
The difficulty, though, withthat is that that doctor, their
hospital, was about 40 minutesaway from where I live, which
for doctor's appointments.
I was fine, I'll go commutethat.
That way it was a much betterexperience.
I'll do it.
Um.
But it also meant that whencame time for labor and I didn't
(30:11):
want to go drive that 40minutes just to get turned away
and told I couldn't be admitted,and have to drive all the way
back and kind of do that thathustle and bustle.
And so the doctor did say thatyou know five minutes for an
hour.
Then, yes, come in.
And so because of that, I wasreally watching my.
(30:32):
At that point I had acontraction app.
It's less fancy than the onesthey have today After nine years
, 10 years.
They've come a long way as faras some of the apps that they
have and that I've seen otherfolks use.
But back then it was just likea timer, pretty much, that kept
a log, and so I would hit abutton when my contraction would
start and I'd turn it off whenI was done.
(30:53):
It would tell me kind of andkeep track of me in that way.
And so, similarly to my firstchild, I was having those really
intense Braxton Hicks orcontractions, whatever you want
to call them, kind of the twoweeks leading up to it.
And so when I was having them,I thought, okay, this is just it
again, this is par for thecourse.
(31:13):
I remember this.
And so I kept working and Iremember the day that I actually
ended up having my second child.
I had gone to work.
It was my last day at work.
And at this point I was atherapist in a school and I was
sitting there through sessions Iwas conducting therapy sessions
, having contractions, so Iwould just sit with my phone.
I would tell them hey, I'm justgoing to keep track of
(31:36):
something over here, no big deal, keep talking.
And so I would hit thecontraction button.
Okay, contraction's over, Iwould turn it off, keep doing my
session.
In fact, at that point I hadone of my kids that I was
working with who had a lot ofanxiety, a lot of kind of ADHD
stuff, and so for him it wasreally helpful if we walked and
(31:57):
talked during our session.
So we would walk.
The school that I was at wasnext to the beach, and so we
would walk all the way down tothe beach while we were doing
our session and then walk allthe way back.
And so I was doing all of thisand I had my phone with me and I
just kept timing myself anddoing my sessions.
And at this point they weren'tconsistent.
(32:18):
They were kind of all over theplace as far as timing, at least
according to my tracker.
So I said, okay, I still havesome time, I'm all good.
And so I just kept doing.
I worked my entire full day.
And I remember cause I even hada meeting afterwards, and so I,
you know, it was a bunch ofaround a bunch of adults and
other women who had had children, and they saw me kind of
(32:39):
keeping time and they were like,do we need to take you to the
hospital?
And I looked at my my timingand I said no, I'm still good.
Let.
No, I'm still good, let's keepgoing.
And so I did.
And then I drove myself home.
In fact, actually I even drovemyself to daycare because my son
was at daycare and so I drovemyself to his daycare to pick
(33:00):
him up.
And all the meanwhile I had myphone right next to me and I
would just reach over, hit thetimer as I'm driving and turn it
off.
When the contraction was doneand I called my husband and I
said, hey, the contractionsthey're not stopping, so I think
that this is a good time foryou to come home.
He said okay, so he got in thecar.
He was like, do we need to justmeet you at the hospital?
(33:21):
I said no, they're notconsistent yet, let's just meet
at home.
And so I went, I picked up myson from daycare, I drove me and
my son back home, and so then Iwent.
After my husband got home, Ileft my son with my husband and
I went into the bedroom to kindof keep going, cause I said I
don't want to go down there andget turned away.
(33:43):
It's such a long drive and Ididn't want to inconvenience
anyone, and at this point wewere two weeks before my quote
unquote due date.
We don't have family in thearea, and so we didn't have
anybody to watch my son becausepeople weren't planning on
coming in until two weeks fromnow.
And so I was like I reallydon't want to like have to, you
(34:04):
know, lug all three of us downthere just to get turned away.
So I said I'll, I'll be in thebedroom and I'll just keep doing
my thing.
And they finally got to thatfive minutes for an hour, and
the minute that they did, I toldmy husband.
I said, hey, it's time for usto go.
I said okay, and so we werepacking up and with the very
(34:26):
next contraction I said stop, Ineed to push, we're not going to
the hospital.
And he said what are youtalking about?
He thought I was joking and Isaid no, I need you to call 911.
And at this point my husbandjust he went into fight or
flight mode, do I say?
And he's freaking out, and sohe's like what I need to call?
(34:49):
Okay, let me get my phone.
And he's just like runningaround the house trying to find
his phone, and meanwhile mywater breaks and I'm just I go
into problem solving mode.
My husband's freaking out, soI'm just like this, this is
going to happen.
I need to figure it out.
And I, the first thing I thoughtwas okay, in the movies they're
in like a tub of water, so letme get to my bathtub, because
(35:12):
that's all I could think of inthat moment.
So I start waddling my way tothe bathtub and my husband,
meanwhile he gets his phone andbecause he's so frantic, instead
of calling 911, he dialed 991.
And so it gives him that, likethis is not a working number,
right.
And so then my husband freaksout, he goes 911 isn't working
(35:35):
and and I'm just trying to likeget myself to a bathtub at this
point, and I was like I need youto figure it out right now.
I just need to get to thebathtub.
And so, like I said, on my walkmy water breaks.
And so I'm like, okay, this islegit happening here.
And I turn on the faucet to thebathtub and the bathtub had
(35:55):
maybe maybe half an inch to aninch of water and when I sat
down to try to sit into thebathtub he just flew right out
and I remember him kind ofskidding across the bathtub in
the water like kind of one ofthose luges, and I was like oh
my gosh, and I like scooped himup and I was like I'm so sorry,
(36:18):
put him on my chest because Iwas like I don't know what to do
.
And so at this point my husbandfinally got an operator, a 911
operator, and because ithappened so fast, he had
literally just gotten on andsaid my baby's having a baby.
Nope, my baby, my, my wife justhad a baby.
And so they're like, okay, likedo you, um, but we need to get
(36:41):
something to tie off theumbilical cord.
And he was like I don't haveanything.
And they were like do you havea shoelace?
And he was like, yes, I can dothat.
Well, out of all of the shoesthat he chose, he chose a hiking
boot that had those like reallyintricate laces, and so he's
trying to like unlace thishiking boot, and it's taking a
really long time, and so,meanwhile, while that happened,
(37:02):
the fire department got there,and so he didn't even get the
shoelace unstr'm strong.
And the fire department showedup.
At this point in my life, Ifelt like I was a fairly
conservative person as far asdress wise.
At this point, I'm completelynaked in my bathtub, and five
male firefighters jammed into mybathroom in all my full glory,
(37:25):
and I was just sitting there andI was like hey guys, thanks for
coming, here's my baby.
And they were all just veryfrazzled.
Yeah.
And kept saying we needso-and-so, and it was a name.
And I was like who's thisperson, who's this magical
person that they're waiting forand so they're trying to like
(37:47):
they cut the umbilical cord andthey're just saying we need so
and so we need so and so.
And finally this person emerged.
It was the only femalefirefighter they had on staff
and the minute she showed upthey shoved the baby in her
direction, was like here you go.
And then they came and theytook care of me and I was like,
okay, so you guys are still verylike, we need a woman to come
(38:16):
take care of this baby.
And so then they surrounded me,they got me in a gurney and
took me, but because at thispoint I'd been only doing it by
myself, I had not delivered theplacenta yet, and so they were
concerned with the blood lossthere, and so it was in the
ambulance that they were we needto get this out of you because
you're continuing to bleed atthis point.
And so the female the onlyfemale firefighter helped me
(38:36):
deliver the placenta.
I held baby while she helped meget that out, and I was able to
get it out.
I was again very, veryfortunate.
Probably the best case scenariofor my baby, that I didn't lose
enough blood that I needed atransfusion so that we were able
to kind of get things undercontrol.
Like I said, the only kind ofdifference was getting me sewn
(38:57):
up once.
I did get to the hospital but hehad come so fast.
It was so funny.
I had nurses coming to visit usbecause they had heard about
the bathtub baby that's whatthey were calling him and the
remark that I kept getting isthey had never seen a head so
round.
So when the nurses were comingin they were like, oh my gosh,
(39:18):
his head is so round.
And I just kept hearing thatand it stuck out because it's
the strangest thing to hearpeople say about how round his
head was.
But they were telling me thatit must have been because he
wasn't in the canal for a verylong time, that his head was
very round, and so I became thisattraction, my baby's head, and
we became this.
Stephanie Theriault (39:38):
Like everybody came to visit us that
was working before that nightand even to the next day as a
labor and delivery nurse, likewe love when women come in home
births, it's it's just like it'sso infrequent that we get to
(40:02):
see it, so we're all just likelet's go check this out, okay.
Well, that makes a little bitmore sense now.
That's awesome, though.
So I'm curious for yourimmediate postpartum recovery.
How was it different at allwith your first and your second,
since you had two like verydifferent experiences?
Reesa Morala (40:19):
I think it was a little bit more straightforward
and it also felt easier because,again, I wasn't having all
those complications so the factthat I wasn't having this
significant amount of painbecause I didn't have family
there to watch my son.
I begged to get out of thehospital as soon as I can.
I was healing up pretty fast.
So they did let me go.
I spent one overnight with themand I apologize too the night
(40:43):
because I came in in the evening.
So technically there was thatone overnight and then I had one
more, and so they let me go thenext day, which was a lot
shorter than my first time.
And then when I got home, like Isaid and again, how much of it
is skewed by the fact that I hada toddler I had to take care of
at the same time, so I don'tnecessarily remember sitting in
(41:06):
it in that way that very wellcould be at play.
Also, as I mentioned, I didn'thave quite the pain that I had.
I had pain, of course, becauseI was a whole lot that you know.
My body went to war and back.
Mm, hmm.
At the same time it wasn't quiteas drawn out, I think, as my
(41:27):
first, and then with feeding myson, he didn't quite have the
same issues that my first sonhad.
He did need to move over to acompletely broken down amino
acid formula though because hehad some tummy issues with the
breast milk and any other kindof formulas that weren't as
broken down but because, again,I had at this point had already
(41:48):
found and gone through theheadache of finding a good
doctor for my first son.
But this doctor was alreadyvery, very familiar and so the
minute that there was any kindof tummy troubles we were like,
okay, let's go into problemsolving mode.
We were able to kind of findhim a formula fairly quickly and
then once we found that he ate,no problem.
(42:08):
So things moved a little bitfaster as far as when there were
any issues we were able to geta little bit more movement.
I remember going to my firstappointment because I didn't I
wasn't there for my actualdoctor with my second son to
(42:29):
deliver, and he even came in.
I remember the doctor came into round on me after that next
morning and he said why didn'tyou come in sooner so you could
have the baby here, and I said Iwas trying to follow what you
said.
And I pulled out my app and Ishowed him the inconsistencies
between my contractions.
I said it didn't and I can't, Iwanted to come.
(42:50):
The minute that they did see,look at my, look at my app, and,
um, he was like oh, wow, yeah,okay, I see that.
And so the first time I cameback, though, to see him, he did
check out my stitches, and heeven remarked he was like she
stitched up really nicely, greatjob.
And he made that comment, andso, again, for me that was
(43:11):
another sign that this was thiswas very different Um, that even
the doctor kind of made anaudible like oh yeah, you know
she did good.
Stephanie Theriault (43:34):
I want to turn the conversation over to
your company.
I'm looking at your website andthere are a lot of different
things that you offer.
When I first went here I wasassuming, okay, general couples
counseling, therapy, but youhave a lot going on.
You have couples counseling,you have couples intensive,
which I think is veryinteresting.
I'd like for you to share withus a little bit about and then
(43:57):
also bringing baby home workshop, parenting workshop.
I like how it's not just onething, that you really bring all
the things together that canaffect couples in parenthood
that we don't really anticipatewhen we're pregnant and before
we become parents.
I'm curious when you startedEmbrace Renewal Therapy and
(44:18):
Wellness Collective, did youhave all these ideas in mind, or
was it kind of like an organicprocess that these different
workshops came together?
Reesa Morala (44:27):
So a little bit of yes, a little bit of no, okay,
and I say that because, as Imentioned, the first half of my
therapy career, I was working alot with the children and their
families, and for me some of thedifficulty is that it felt more
reactive treatment, like oncethere was kind of a problem, I
mean.
And sometimes by the time theycame to see me, we're talking
(44:50):
higher level of acuity.
At that point usually theparents were at their wits end
and they would just kind of dropoff their kid and say, hey, fix
my kid, please, make it better.
And then they would kind ofleave because they're
overwhelmed, they've got a tonon their plate.
And the difficulty is I coulddo some really great work with
the kids, but if I'm sendingthem right back home to the same
kind of stressed outenvironment or what have you, it
(45:12):
felt very fruitless and Ididn't love the feeling.
I didn't feel like I was beinghelpful and I want to be helpful
, and so I really had to take astep back and figure out okay,
how can I be more preventativein my care?
And so what I found is actuallythere's one, there's a lot less
support for parents than thereought to be considering how hard
(45:35):
this is and the fact that theseparents are holding the future
of our generation in their hands.
There needs to be 10 times moreof the amount of resources and
support that's out there, in mypersonal opinion.
And so there's not.
We focus a lot, you know, a lotof times the couples therapy
they're already again theirhigher level of acuity.
It takes a breakdown for themto finally come into the room
(45:57):
Because, again, I think a lot ofthe parents that I ended up
seeing there's this mentality ofmy kids need to come first.
And so, even if that means, youknow, sacrificing my own
wellness, my own relationshipwellness, well, that's what I
need to do in order to make surethat this kid is thriving and
doing good.
And so my hope and the designwhen I ended up kind of opening
(46:18):
up this practice was how can Iactually support more the parent
side of things and the parents,their own wellness, their
relationship wellness, so thatthey have permission that it's
okay and, in fact, verynecessary for them to to take
some time for themselves andmake sure that they're good, and
once they do that, it actuallyallows them more capacity to
show up for their kids in theway that they really want to and
(46:40):
they really desire and dream of.
So I went and I got additionalcertifications.
No-transcript.
(47:12):
Bringing Baby Home is onethat's specifically designed for
folks that are either planningon having children, expecting a
child, or have them between zeroand three, and it can be for
your first kid, it can be foryour fifth kid, because anytime
we're bringing in a new child tothe mix, it's a new dynamic and
it's a new transition.
And so, really, how can Iempower couples to have the
(47:36):
resources, to have the tools toreally support their thriving
and then, ultimately, theirfamilies thriving as well?
Stephanie Theriault (47:43):
Talk to us a little bit about the
difference between couplescounseling and then couples
intensives.
Reesa Morala (47:49):
Yeah.
So couples counseling that Ioffer, I am, as you mentioned,
licensed in California, sothat's going to be for anybody
who is physically in the stateof California that I offer, kind
of your traditional one-on-onetherapy that's weekly or
biweekly, based off of needs,and so that's kind of what you
would think of when you think oftraditional therapy.
(48:10):
The couples intensives that Ioffer is usually over one
weekend, and so I have folksthat will come in.
I'm in Southern California winecountry so we have lots of
wineries around us and sothey'll come kind of for like
their own little retreat, if youwill.
They'll do an intensive weekendwith me, and that's really
ideal for folks that have for usto really do some really nice
(48:35):
deep, focused work on one to twoareas that they're feeling some
pain points.
So, for example, I've got somecouples who maybe there's just
one particular topic, maybe it'sextended family, right, the
in-laws that just every timethat topic comes up they just
hit a wall and they get reallystuck in it.
So that's a great one that wego in and we figure out what's
(48:56):
tripping them up, what's thatpattern that they kind of fall
into, and let's do some reallygreat deep work and getting you
unstuck from that all within aweekend.
And so they can do some of thatsessions with me during the day
and then in the evening, like Isaid, they can go to the
wineries.
They can just have a littlekind of weekend retreat and so
that's what folks will come inand do the intensives for, and
(49:18):
so if they need periodictune-ups, they have that ability
.
But really the idea is thatit's kind of a one in do some
deep work to really kind of hita big pain point for them.
Stephanie Theriault (49:31):
Do you find that couples come for the
couples intensive?
Are they coming from mostlyclose by, or do you get couples
from maybe the East coast?
Reesa Morala (49:41):
Yeah, it's open to anybody and folks will, like I
said they'll, they'll kind ofmake a little a little retreat
weekend out of it for themselvesthemselves, like a marriage
retreat, and be able to workhere.
You just have to physically behere when I see you and that's
it.
So that's kind of the pros andcons.
Like I said, you would justhave to physically be here for
either the counseling or theintensives, the workshops I do
(50:04):
offer virtually, and so that'sopen to anybody worldwide.
If you have access to internet,you can.
You can sign up for any ofthose workshops that I offer.
Stephanie Theriault (50:13):
I read on your site you wrote don't let my
skincare routine fool you.
I'm a mom of two and with mypartner for 16 years.
I know firsthand how hard thisshit is.
Uh-huh, I know firsthand howhard this shit is.
I love that you put that outthere.
I feel like it's so personable.
We, as parents, we go throughthe postpartum period and it's
(50:35):
hard.
This is so real and it's so raw.
Whoever needs to find services,find help, find therapy so they
can find that relationship,they can find themselves again,
feel comfortable coming to youbecause we're all human, we're
all just like each other andwe're all going through it and
we all just need somebody tohelp us get through those
(50:58):
difficult postpartum period.
Reesa Morala (50:59):
You're so right.
It is hard and I think thatthat's one of the reasons, again
with my own journey, that itwas so important to me to also
go into this and be that supportthat I wish I had when I was
going through my own heart,because it was really lonely and
it can feel really isolating.
And that's probably the numberone thing I hear from so many
(51:22):
parents over and over is that,especially with our social media
and the movies, there's a verybig discrepancy in what actually
happens as a parent and whatyou're experiencing versus what
gets depicted or what getstalked about frankly.
Stephanie Theriault (51:37):
One last question For anyone who's
listening and they might begoing through something similar,
in which something clinicallyis happening to them or their
child and they don't believethat the providers in their care
are listening to them.
What advice would you give tohelp them be seen, be heard and
(51:57):
to get the help that they need?
Reesa Morala (51:59):
I think that the biggest one that I have found
for myself on a personal sideand professionally is really
kind of honoring your own gutand what's happening.
So if something is wrong, ifyour gut is trying to send you a
message that usually that'scoming from a real place, in the
(52:23):
sense that your body is tryingto send you signals that we're
feeling like this needs to atleast be seen and heard.
Maybe it is just you know ustaking extra precautions and
that's okay too.
And so if you have a providerthat isn't listening to you and
you have the ability to find adifferent provider, 100% that
(52:46):
that's okay to kind of findsomeone who will listen to you
and who does get it.
Like I said, I had to find acouple different pediatricians.
It took a completely new OB tofinally find people that were
listening to me, and it was amuch different experience with
my second child, and so it'sokay to kind of go find those
(53:09):
people if you have the ability,and if you don't, again
continuing to just get big, letthem know, really using as clear
kind of emotion words like hey,this is, even if you don't
agree with me, can you at leasthumor me right now and let's
just pretend that maybesomething is.
Could we do a little extra testor just spend a little extra
(53:32):
time listening to me and reallyknowing that it's absolutely
okay for you to advocate foryourself, if you are speaking in
a respectful way and respectingyourself, respecting the
provider, speaking in arespectful way and respecting
yourself, respecting theprovider, that it's okay to
express your complaints and, infact, it's very, very much
appropriate for you to express acomplaint and have those people
(53:55):
hear you.
No matter what provider it is,you still deserve to be treated
with respect and kindness andwith care.
Stephanie Theriault (54:18):
Risa.
If our listeners want to learnmore about you and find your
practice, how can they find you?
Reesa Morala (54:21):
Best way to find me is through my website.
It's calledembracerenewaltherapycom, and
you'll find everything.
You'll find links to theworkshops, the workshop dates If
you would like to come see mefor a retreat weekend.
All of that is on there.
You'll also find access to myown podcast called the Real
Family Eats, where all we do iswe talk about the real stuff
(54:43):
that actually happens withparenting and how hard it is.
At the same time, every guestthat comes on shares a recipe,
so you'll get to hear a storythat is probably very relatable,
something that you'veexperienced or you know someone
who has, and you get a recipeout of it too, and so all of
that is on my website.
Stephanie Theriault (55:01):
We will attach all links to your social
media and to your website.
Thank you so much for coming onand being open and vulnerable
and sharing your story.
The reason why I'm doing thispodcast is so we can teach,
learn, heal and grow together,so I really appreciate you
taking time at a busy scheduleto meet with me and share your
story on our show.
Reesa Morala (55:22):
Thank you so much for having me.
I appreciate it.
Hey there, amazing listeners.
Stephanie Theriault (55:40):
If you love what we do and want to see our
podcast grow, we need your help.
By making a donation, you'll besupporting us and bringing you
even more great content.
I truly believe creating thisspace for women all across the
globe to share their story willallow us to collectively heal,
grow and become more empoweredin the space that we deserve to
(56:02):
be.
Motherhood, womanhood, andhowever that looks and feels for
each and every one of us, everycontribution, big or small,
will make a huge difference.
If you can head over to supportus today, there's a link in the
bio to support the podcast.
From the bottom of my heart,thank you for being a part of
this journey.
(56:22):
Thank you for listening.
Be sure to check out our socialmedia.
All links are provided in theepisode description.
We're excited to have you here.
Please give us a follow If youor someone you know would like
to be a guest on the show.
Reach out to us via email atinfo at maternalwealthcom.
And remember stay healthy,embrace your power and you got
(56:47):
this.
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