We are thrilled for you to meet our newest guest, Erin Ronder Neves, who is not only the Owner and Founder of Beyond Birthing Village, but also a Birth & Postpartum Doula, Certified Childbirth Educator a Spinning Babies® Parent Educator and a Certified Lactation Counselor
After facing the emotional hurdles of postpartum depression and anxiety, Erin Ronder Neves transformed her journey into a mission to uplift and empower other mothers. Her story unfolds from her days in theater and special education to founding Beyond Birthing, a haven for prenatal and postpartum wellness in Beverly, Massachusetts. Erin's firsthand experiences shed light on the transformative power of comprehensive support systems, including therapy and doulas, which paved her way to recovery and inspired her to create a nurturing community for women on the North Shore.
Join us as Erin delves into the heart of birth work, sharing the vital role emotional and practical support plays in maternal health. She reveals how visualization techniques and medication became her anchors during overwhelming postpartum moments. As Erin transitions from a postpartum to a birth doula, she emphasizes the healing power of vulnerability and the significance of witnessing a friend's birth, which fortified her commitment to supporting others. These insights highlight the unique and deeply personal journey of maternal care, urging us all to embrace our paths with courage and connection.
Beyond Birthing isn't just about parents surviving the postpartum period; it's about thriving. Erin illustrates how the center extends support beyond childbirth, focusing on the mental and emotional well-being of parents. With innovative events like "Bros, Babies, and Beef" and support groups for working moms, the center responds to the growing need for parental resources. By fostering a strong network of skilled providers and specialists, Erin's vision is clear: to create a supportive community where parents can prioritize their well-being while knowing they're not alone in this journey.
Music Credit
https://uppbeat.io/t/ra/sunny
https://uppbeat.io/t/andrey-rossi/seize-the-day
https://uppbeat.io/t/hartzmann/no-sugar-please
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Stephanie Theriault (00:15):
Welcome to the Maternal Wealth Podcast, a
space for all things related tomaternal health, pregnancy and
beyond.
I'm your host, stephanieTheriault.
I am a labor and delivery nurseand a mother to three beautiful
boys.
Each week, we dive intoinspiring stories and expert
insights to remind us of thepower that you hold in
childbirth and motherhood.
We're here to explore the joys,the challenges and the
(00:38):
complexities of maternal health.
Every mother's journey isunique and every story deserves
to be told.
Please note that this podcastis for entertainment purposes
only.
It is not intended to replaceprofessional medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment.
Always consult with yourhealthcare provider for medical
guidance that is tailored toyour specific needs.
(00:59):
Are you ready?
(01:19):
Let's get into it.
Today, we welcome Erin RonderNeves, owner and founder of
Beyond Birthing.
Located in Beverly,Massachusetts, beyond Birthing
is a unique all-in-one prenataland postpartum wellness center
that offers access tofull-service prenatal care and
support.
At Beyond Birthing, you canfind childbirth and infant care
education, specialty workshopsthat include pelvic floor
(01:41):
therapy, prenatal fitness,functional medicine and
acupuncture.
In addition, they providechiropractic care, massage
therapy, birth and postpartumdoula services, lactation
consultants and mental healthclinicians who specialize in
perinatal care.
There's also family nutritionservices and much, much more.
(02:03):
In addition to operating andrunning Beyond Birthing, erin is
also a birth doula, empoweringwomen and birthing people as
they bring their children intothe world.
Did I mention that Erin is amother?
She has two children at homeand certainly has her hands full
.
But that's what we women do.
We manage it all and, with thecreation of Beyond Birthing,
(02:25):
women on the North Shore ofMassachusetts can manage it all
together.
I'm pleased to welcome Erin tothe show.
Welcome Erin.
Erin Ronder Neves (02:33):
Thank you so much, stephanie, for having me.
Hello everybody.
Stephanie Theriault (02:36):
Thank you so much for being here.
I'm super excited to hear moreabout you and about Beyond
Birthing and how it is making adifference for everyone here on
the North Shore of Massachusetts.
Erin Ronder Neves (02:45):
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah, it's definitely a dreamcome true.
It's something I've wanted fora long time, and the opportunity
presented itself about a yearago, and I jumped with two feet.
Stephanie Theriault (02:57):
Before we get into the creation of Beyond
Birthing.
I would love for our listenersto learn more about you before
you got into this journey ofmaternal health and wellness.
Erin Ronder Neves (03:06):
Yes, absolutely so.
My background is actually inperformance and theater and
special education.
That is what I went to schoolfor, for undergrad and graduate
school.
And then maternal health didn'treally come into my view until,
of course, I was pregnant.
And when I was pregnant with myfirst daughter, evelyn, my
husband and I were living alonein New York city and we, our
(03:29):
families, were up here inMassachusetts.
And when we got to around thesix month mark, we were like I
don't know if we should do thisalone.
And so we hired our birth doula, who helped us incredibly and
it's so funny because at firstmy husband's like what's a birth
doula?
What does this person do?
And literally after Evelyn wasborn, he was like, should we
name her Sylvie, which was ourbirth doula's name, just to show
(03:53):
, like, how much of an impactshe made on our family and also
how much of an impact she alsomade on him as well?
And so we had a birth doula forour first birth as well.
And so we had a birth doula forour first birth.
It did not go as planned, asmost births don't.
As a result of that, Iunexpectedly came down with
postpartum depression andanxiety, and that hit me around
(04:14):
the four month mark, which againeven goes to show you and I'm
sure you know this too that youknow that six week checkup means
nothing.
It's, it's, it's.
It's weird that it's even abaseline for anything.
That okay, nope, you're totallyokay.
Or quote the baby blues onlylast two weeks, like there's no
one size fits all in birth orpostpartum or parenting or just
(04:34):
being humans at all.
So, and my husband had to goback to work a week after my
unplanned cesarean, becausethat's what his paternity leave
was at that point.
And you know I had a couplecomplications from my cesarean,
because that's what hispaternity leave was at that
point.
And you know I had a couplecomplications from my cesarean
and I was so mad at him forreturning to work and he's like,
but I have to in order to payfor the health insurance you
(04:55):
need.
And, and it made complete sense, you know absolutely.
But it just goes to show youthat that was my first
introduction to saying like,wait, why the hell am I supposed
to do this alone?
Why am I expected to do thisalone?
Why is my husband expected todo this alone?
Do you know what I mean?
Like, and also I'm not supposedto know what I'm doing.
And so I'd already had atherapist, because therapy has
(05:18):
always been a part of my mentalhealth and I love it.
And so I knew that that one daywhen I woke up and I literally
woke up and I looked up and theceiling was black I just
remember it being black and Iwas like okay, got to call
Catherine.
And so I called Catherine andasked her like a you know, like
a acute check-in, and you knowshe, she immediately knew what
(05:43):
to do and she helped me.
What was right for me at thattime was to go on medication and
I went on medication.
I also my parents then boughtme hours with a postpartum doula
, which I didn't know existedright until the time.
And so I got a postpartum doula.
I had my mental health supportand I also had medication on
board to help me, and it tookabout four months for me to kind
(06:05):
of restabilize.
But around that eight monthmark I started feeling a lot
better and that postpartum doulawas crucial and how I was those
right after, on that four orfifth month mark Also, I learned
that postpartum doulas can gowith you to medical appointments
.
Because I technically couldn'tdrive still, I technically
couldn't lift my baby because ofall my postpartum complications
(06:27):
with my cesarean, and so shecame with me and, like, held the
baby.
So while I got an internal, Ididn't have to listen to my baby
cry in a car seat and, you know, I knew that Evelyn was being
taken care of right.
She helped me with nursing, sheset me up with a lactation
consultant that helped meunderstand how to make this
sustainable for me and for mybaby, versus just, you know,
(06:49):
making sure I was breastfeeding,regardless of what my nipples
looked like and um.
So that postpartum experiencereally opened my eyes to what if
I didn't know where to go forsupport, what if I didn't have a
husband who also was makingsure that I was doing okay and
that was financially also makingsure that everything was paid
(07:10):
for right.
Because I was still onmaternity leave and you know,
what I was doing in New YorkCity is I was a teaching artist
and an actor and I wasn't goinganywhere, being in the state I
was in, let alone commuting allaround New York City into New
York City public schools andhelping them figure out how to
put on productions with peoplewho are neurodiverse, and
(07:31):
because I was at that momentjust not in a place to be doing
anything other than taking careof myself and my baby.
And so, you know, it reallyopened up my eyes that we need
this support network.
We need resources that arecomforting, that put the mother
first, that the parents matter.
Perinatal mood and anxietydisorders are the number one
complication of pregnancy.
One in five birthing peoplewill experience it.
(07:53):
One in 10 partners.
That's a lot of people.
That's a lot of people.
And so my world blew open withhow much support a new parent
needs when they have their baby.
And then we moved up to Bostonin between our first and our
second babies, because we wantedto.
You know, we want to be closerto parents.
Especially after what I hadwith my first postpartum period,
(08:14):
I knew that I wanted to becloser so that I could have some
more support, et cetera.
And then, when we moved up toBoston, we ended up having a
miscarriage, and again, that'sanother part of the world that
no one talks about.
No one talks about that.
How you know, it was not aseasy for us to get pregnant the
second time, and no one talksabout secondary infertility.
No one, then, talks aboutmiscarriage and what this means.
(08:38):
And then when I got pregnantafter some time I got pregnant
with my daughter, rosalie, andat that point I was like that's
it, we are stacking ourselveswith support.
Like I knew what we needed.
Like I got a birth doula rightfrom the start because I knew
that I wanted to try for a VBAC,which is a vaginal birth after
cesarean.
I also knew got a postpartumdoula before I gave birth, cause
(09:00):
I was like I know this is whatI'm going to need.
I had my therapist.
My therapist was still in NewYork so she was treating me, but
I also now needed to transfermy care to a Massachusetts
therapist to make sure that Iwas going to be okay, because I
knew that it was a personalchoice to not take medication in
pregnancy and, looking back, doI think that was the best
choice?
No, but I knew that as soon asRosalie came out, I would start
(09:22):
my medication again.
That's the plan that I wantedto do, and so I needed to make
sure I had a therapist as wellas a prescriber who was going to
help me with that, because Iknew I just didn't want my
primary care or my obstetricianor midwife prescribing me that
medication because of my history.
So I knew I had that.
Then I also knew I had alactation consultant set up
ready to go, because the firsttime I was nursing with Evelyn,
(09:46):
I remember literally being likethis is so painful and just
thinking it was normal, and mybirth doula was like no, no, no,
no, it's not supposed to bepainful.
I'm like why does nobody tellyou that shit?
So I just stacked myself withsupport, which is why I think I
had such a better time withRosalie postpartum.
But that's not to say that Iwas then hit with something
called postpartum OCD, which isintrusive thoughts and really
(10:11):
scary, scary stuff.
And then that hit me maybe, Ithink, day like five after she
was born and, like I said, Ialready had all my supports in
place.
So I called my therapist and waslike this is what I'm thinking
Like.
One, does my baby need to betaken away from me for her
safety?
Two, do I need to be taken awayfrom my family for my safety?
(10:33):
And these are legit questionsthat I ask and really scary
questions for a new mom, likefor a new mom to a new baby,
right, because every baby isdifferent.
I was a new mom at that.
Mom to a new baby right,because every baby is different.
I was a new mom at that point.
For to a second baby, like?
They're really scary questionsto even think about asking.
Because, like what if theanswer is yes, and how?
(10:55):
Would I be okay with that?
But I knew that I had to thinkabout that and I think that,
knowing that I had a safe placeto go to, that there was no
judgment, they knew who I was,they knew where to go, where to
help me go, so that I could getthe support I needed, so that it
just the no judgment is whatthen made me feel safe enough to
(11:16):
say these are my true thoughts.
And then I was able to get thesupport I needed to overcome the
OCD and for me it just happenedto be again.
It looks different for everybody, but for me it literally had to
do with.
I upped my medication and Ilearned this amazing technique
about having kind of feelingsand thoughts wash over you and
through you, versus like pushingthem away and pretending they
(11:38):
don't exist.
I like that, right, it's verymuch like, and like the visual I
have is imagine like you'retaking a shower, right, you're
taking a shower and you let thewater just pass over you and
through you and it's there'sdirt on you, there's thoughts on
you, there's soap on you, butit's washing it away.
But it has to go over your bodyto get through you, to pass
(11:59):
over you and then down the drain, whereas if you're literally in
a shower and just taking thewater and splashing it back in
your face, all you're doing isjust putting all the grime back
up in your face and not helpingin making it bigger, making a
bigger problem and making abigger mess.
So that visual to me is whatclicked in my mind and literally
as soon as I started acceptingthe thoughts and just letting
them kind of wash over me, theywent away.
(12:21):
That's not to say they didn'tcreep up all the time.
I knew how to process them andnot get scared of them.
And again, that's all becauseof I had a support system.
There were some pretty scarytimes in this entire postpartum
journey that like I don't knowif I'd be here if I didn't know
where to go for support, and Ijust want to be that for people
(12:43):
and that's kind of where thebirth of Beyond Birthing I
didn't even mean to say that,but like the birth of Beyond
Birthing came from.
It's just, if people don't knowwhat kind of help they need, I
just want them to know thatthere's a place to go and they
can walk in that door.
Our door says come as you are,and I don't have all the answers
(13:04):
, but I'm going to go with themto help find the answers and I'm
going to hold them and I'mgoing to help them and support
them and let them know they'renot alone and also they're not
supposed to know how the hell todo this and it's okay to not be
.
Okay, we've got you and sothat's kind of.
I know I jumped ahead a littlebit beyond birthing, but that's
why, after Rosalie was born mysecond I had a really candid
(13:25):
conversation with my husband,adam, who is literally one of my
biggest champions, and thewhole reason I was able to even
go into doula work was becauseof my husband and his support,
because I first started as apostpartum doula, because that's
just was a natural fit for meand I've always been very open
and vulnerable and I'm very muchan open book with kind of
sharing my story, because Itruly believe I'm the majority
(13:49):
in that I struggled and I don'tfit into an Instagram TikTok box
, nor do I ever want to, becauseI think that that was
detrimental to my mental health.
Not everybody's again.
Everyone has their own journeyand I'm so supportive of anyone
who finds their journey in thesupport system that they need.
But that wasn't for mepersonally, and so I started
(14:11):
with postpartum, just kind ofsharing my story and starting to
work with families, and then Ibecame a birth doula.
And I became a birth doulabecause my best friend, carrie,
was amazing and our first twokids we had like six weeks apart
from each other, justunexpectedly.
That's just how it happened andshe called me and she's like
I'm pregnant with my third and Igo, you can have that one for
both of us.
And then she invited me to beher birth doula and that's how I
(14:36):
started.
So I started it by bringing thisamazing child whom I adore into
this world with my best friend,and it came very easily to me.
You know, the whole processdidn't make me queasy.
I just felt very comfortable ina hospital setting.
My sister is someone who hassome chronic disabilities and so
(14:57):
being in a hospital setting andadvocating for her has been a
part of my life.
She's older than me, thatwasn't a hard sell on me, I was
pretty easy in a hospital andcomfortable in a hospital
setting.
But I think the biggest thingthat that birth gave me and I
tell my friend Carrie this allthe time and I get teared up
thinking about it, because theway that her daughter, gabby's
(15:18):
birth went is exactly the way Iwould have wanted one of my
births to go but I unfortunatelyhad I didn't, unfortunately.
I'm very grateful the fact thatI had two plants, two unplanned
cesareans, because thosecesareans saved my life and my
kid's life.
So I am very, very grateful forhaving a cesarean.
But again, when you pregnant,you're like oh, my hopes, dreams
(15:41):
, wishes, right it.
You're like oh, my hopes,dreams, wishes, right.
And the way that Carrie wentthrough her labor with Gabby is
exactly how I wanted one of mylabors to go.
So it was actually an extremelycathartic experience for me
that I didn't even know wasgoing to be cathartic.
Does that make sense?
I was going in there solely tobe.
It was not about me at all,like as most as a doula, it's
(16:05):
never about you, nor should itever be.
And once I held Gabby in myarms I remember being like holy
shit, like that was absolutelybeautiful and so, and I didn't
realize the impact it would haveon healing my soul of my own
birth stories and how much itopened me up to being that.
(16:25):
Okay, this is something I needto pursue, and so then I became
a birth doula.
Stephanie Theriault (16:46):
I love the story you just shared because
not only our own births arehealing, but witnessing other
people's birth is also healing,absolutely.
Erin Ronder Neves (16:50):
It absolutely is healing.
But the thing that's the mosthealing especially now that I've
become definitely more you know, I've not been a birth doula
for about nine years.
I've been at over 300 birthsand all around the greater
Boston area the most healingthing for me, actually, when I
go to births now, is seeing thebirthing person and the partner
feel empowered to ask questions.
(17:11):
That's what's the coolest thingfor me, so that they then
understand actually how muchpower they have in the room.
Because, again, we don't knowwhat we don't know, nor should
we think that we should knowwhat we don't know.
And so many times providers oreven throughout the process,
like what questions you have?
And people are like I don'tknow because I've never done
this before, so what questionsshould I be asking?
(17:34):
Right, and so that's why, likethe classes that we teach here,
as well as me as a birth doula,one of my biggest things that I
do with my clients is I talkabout what do you need to know
to feel good about this choice.
What do you need to know sothat you feel empowered?
Because, listen, you can't makea plan of how birth can go.
That's the one thing we canguarantee about birth that it's
unpredictable.
(17:54):
But we can make preferencesright.
We can make preference of likelisten.
If we are going down the streetand all of a sudden we come to
a fork in the road, I want toknow my options instead of just
saying I need to do one way.
And if you know your optionsand then decide the way that the
doctor is suggesting you, thenyou just come from a different
point of view.
You come from a place ofempowerment versus just of like
(18:15):
acquiescing and I'm not sayingacquiescing in the way that the
provider is ever trying to doharm.
I actually don't believe thatat all.
It's more just understandingthe whole scope of the situation
, or the whole broadside view ofthe situation.
Of course, if time allows, ifit's an emergency.
That's why you know, thankgoodness for being in a hospital
and dealing with providers, butat least then could give you a
(18:38):
moment of just.
That entry point is just alittle bit different.
Stephanie Theriault (18:42):
We paused this episode for a quick message
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(19:46):
all of which can directly affectyour birth experience and
outcome when you walk intoBeyond Birthing?
Erin Ronder Neves (20:06):
what do you see?
What are you going toexperience?
Yeah, thank you for asking thatquestion.
What you're going to experienceis you're going to experience a
living room.
You're going to walk intosomeone's home.
It is aesthetically designed,like we actually call our big
space the living room, becauseit's supposed to be warm, it's
supposed to be inviting.
It doesn't look like aclinician's office, right, it
looks like a living room.
We've got a table and chairsand a kitchenette and we've got
(20:26):
couches and we've got chairslike cushy chairs and pillows
that you can give yourselfsensory input on.
I've got breastfeeding pillowsin every single cushion of the
couch.
I've got postpartum suppliesyou may need in every step of
the journey.
I've got stuff in the bathroomso that the mom can like take
five seconds and like wipe herarmpits and put on deodorant.
(20:46):
Do you know what I?
mean Brush your teeth, come,spray your face like, wash your
face, like, take a moment foryourself.
It's this beyond birthing isset up for parents.
It is set up for parentsbecause parents are often
forgotten.
We are always focused on thebaby and the baby is so
important.
Oh my God, don't get me wrong.
(21:07):
The baby is extremely critical.
But, just like we learn on anairplane, you put your own
oxygen mask on first beforehelping your child, which
actually, as a mother, like goescompletely against my instinct.
Do you know what I mean?
I'm like nope, got to save thekid first.
And it's like well, wait aminute, I can't save the kid if
they don't have me.
So that's kind of the reframingof the.
(21:27):
It's just reframing therelationship.
And so when they come intobeyond birthing, they're going
to be welcomed with a hug, orthey're going to be welcomed
with women just sitting aroundand just talking about their
experiences in very real waysand in any state they're in.
We have so many amazingproviders here too that are
oftentimes just walking throughthe space, because they're
(21:48):
either going to see clients, orwe're just saying hey, or we're
connecting or collaborating onsomebody, or we're making that
connection so that they'regetting the best help they need,
and it's just a welcome, it's asmile, it's a hey, how are you?
And the best thing is is whatdo you need today?
That's what they're going to beabout.
They're going to be about thequestion of what do you need
today?
How are you?
And it's so funny becausewhenever I asked that question,
(22:09):
everyone's like well, the baby'sgood, you know the baby's
gaining, the babies, you knowreally doing well.
And I'm like awesome.
But I asked how are you doing?
Because no one knows how toanswer that question anymore.
And so that's been.
That's been really interesting,cause I just had a mom in here
yesterday and I was like how areyou doing?
She goes well, you know thebaby, we've had some problems
with feeding.
And I go I'm S, it sounds sogood that you're on track with
(22:31):
that Sounds.
I'm so glad you're seeing DrCourtney and you're here with me
now we're going to flange fityou all of these things.
But then I was like but then,what about you girl?
And she was like it's been hardand I go, tell me more, tell me
more.
And then I actually asked if Icould hold the baby, because
it's so nice to talk aboutyourself while not holding your
(22:51):
baby.
And so I'm holding this amazingcute potato that is like
delicious in every way andhaving a good time and totally
chilling, while mom is finallygiven some space to be like, oh
yeah, let me check in on what'sgoing on inside of me, and
that's what we're here to do.
We're here to help hold babies.
If you need it.
We're here to help you take aminute to yourself.
(23:13):
When you come to our nurtureand nourish support groups like
they are full on lactationsupport we have a lactation
specialist every single timethat the group happens so that
you can come in for lactationsupport.
So it's no more like, oh wait,I can only go to this lactation
group on this day.
Oh, and if I miss it that day,I have to wait another week.
Nope, not here.
You just walk in any day andwe're here Monday, tuesday,
(23:33):
wednesday, thursday, 1030 to 12.
But then, in addition to that,we also have perinatal
professionals.
Come in and just introduce theresources that are in this
community to help the parentstake better care of themselves
and also bring peace of mind tothem and what they're doing with
their child or children right.
And these support groups are forfirst-time parents, fourth-time
(23:55):
parents, like any bit, and Ithink it's really just taking
the space to be like okay, well,what do I need?
Where can I talk about things,and in a safe place.
And again, we're not.
And a lot of it is peer led,which is fantastic because
research shows it's one of thebest ways we can support each
other is through peers.
Right, you know, we're not hereto just only hear one voice in
(24:17):
the space.
I don't think that that'shelpful in any part of anyone's
life, even in the perinatalprocess.
Like, if I'm someone's doula, Iencourage them to take
childbirth ed classes withsomeone other than me, or they
take them with me, but thenplease also talk to this other
person because I don't want myvoice to be the only voice they
hear.
I don't think that that's again, I don't know everything you
(24:38):
know, and so it's important forpeople to know the resources out
there and just coming andsitting and being and realizing
that also the we have thesedifferent perinatal
professionals come in as well asalso our providers who are in
the space, like I had one momcome in a few months ago and she
was just, she was having a hardtime.
She comes in.
She's Kira, one of ourlactation consultants, was here
(25:00):
and she was helping with thegroup.
She helped her with lactation.
Then I was like why don't I holdthe baby and you go talk to Sam
Watson, who is our clinicalsocial worker who focuses on
perinatal mental health.
So she went in there for 10minutes while I held baby and
then she went over and made anappointment with Dr Courtney
because there there's sometension in the baby.
But also I was like, okay,great, the baby's getting
adjusted.
But what about you?
She goes, oh right, and I goexactly, your body also matters.
(25:23):
So this woman came in feelingpretty desperate and she left
with a community as well asthree providers on her team and
a doula me, like you know, causeI I'm not, I'm not hired by
people in our community to betheir doula like who come for
postpartum.
I call myself pretty much likethe doula of the space, because
that's what I am, I'm aconnector, right.
(25:49):
So I you know, and she's nowgot a doula me in her corner and
her sport team quarterbackingthe team but keeping her in the
driver's seat.
Stephanie Theriault (25:53):
When I went to visit you a couple months
back and I was sitting there inthe lactation class and I'm
watching everyone there was momsthere, partners are there, and
all I could think was I wish Ihad this.
The community just being aroundother people who are going
through what you're goingthrough and having that support
that you talk about isfundamental.
(26:15):
It's that village that everyonesays that we need but that
doesn't exist and that's whatyou're creating.
So it's amazing.
I love it.
Erin Ronder Neves (26:23):
Thank you so much and like, and, and the
thing is like I couldn't havedone this without my village too
, and I think you know, as birthworkers and kind of in this
field, a lot of us work in silos, and kind of coming together
under one roof is what makes itso special Dr Courtney Neal, who
runs Foundations FamilyChiropractic.
(26:45):
I approached her two years agoand I was like hi, how are you?
I'm Erin, I really like you, Iwant to like work with you, I
want to partner with you tocreate this center, because this
is what I have as a vision andI want providers to be a part of
it, and I want you to be thefirst provider that is a part of
this.
And she's like I'm sorry, whoare you?
Again, and I go right, right,so let's roll, roll that, roll
(27:06):
the tape back.
And so then you know she waslooking to move location.
So she found this space andthen the space next door would
be coming available.
So she found this space.
She's relocated FoundationsFamily Chiropractic to here and
then was like well, erin, hey,this space just opened up.
What about doing what you saidhere?
(27:26):
And then that's how thiscreated.
So Dr Courtney andI reallyworked together to collaborate
on the space and to get thespace to finance the space.
And you know, we made it come tolife and I think that the fact
that we're all under one roof iswhat makes it so special and,
as I was talking to someone thismorning, it's the secret sauce,
(27:47):
right, it's the secret saucethat we are all here together
and I think that you knowthere's such value.
We all up our own personalvalue in what we do and what we
do as our specialty, bycollaborating and being part of
just this community.
And that's what it is.
It's just a community, and Ithink that so many people have
(28:09):
been wanting to have beenwalking through the door now,
like professionals that are justwanted to be associated, that
want to be, um, you know, comein and talk to our new mom, like
our excuse me, our nurture andnourish, like lactation and
postpartum support group.
Yes, please, I am here to helpraise other people up, because
I'm only as strong as the womannext to me and I'm only here
because of the woman's shouldersthat I stood upon, and that is
(28:31):
what we need to do for eachother.
We need to do it for each otherand all of our practices are
very partner inclusive, which Ithink is very unique.
Because you know, I think, whatI went through with my husband
when we had Evelyn, our first noone talked about how postpartum
really affected the marriagedynamic or how it felt for the
husband to have to go back towork and like feel like they're
(28:54):
abandoning their kid and theirwife you know what I mean.
And and then me having suchrage at my husband because I was
like you are abandoning me andhe's like what is happening, you
know, and then us going throughthis hard time, like it's
partners matter too and like,even as a birth doula, I'm so
partner inclusive in what I do.
It's I'm there to absolutelymake sure that birthing person
(29:16):
stays in the driver's seat, butI'm also there absolutely make
sure that birthing person staysin the driver's seat, but I'm
also there to make sure thepartner's okay.
Everything that we do here, allof our groups are very much are
always including that partnerand we now have, like we have a
bros, babies and beef dadconnection group that happens on
Saturdays, where we have Nick'sroast beef kind of bring in
sandwiches, because you know, Igot to get them in the door
somehow.
No, I appreciate it.
(29:36):
We've had such a loyalfollowing.
They've been so great.
And literally two of our issuesI call them my OG moms here just
came up with.
We just brainstormed the otherday we're going to have a bros,
babies and beef paternity leaveedition on Monday afternoon,
starting in a couple of weeks,because now so many partners are
taking paternity leave andthey're like Whoa, what do I do?
(29:58):
And I'm like I got you, so likethat's something else that
we're doing.
We're really responding to whatthe community is asking for as
well, because I'm new here.
I'm not trying to make thecommunity fit into my box, I'm
trying to make this fit into thecommunity.
So, you know, anytime someonehas something on their minds
like I had one mom say say, likeI want to talk about pumping
and going back to work, I've gotno idea.
(30:19):
And I was like done, and we setup something the next week, you
know.
And now we have a working momsupport group, also starting
with these two OGs who are justlike I, you know, like I just
really I'm going to miss this,but I'm going back to work.
So what can we do?
And I was go here.
We go Like we'll set this upand we're starting like a
working mom support group onFridays, you know, because a lot
(30:39):
of people who are going back towork either can work from home
on Friday so they have a littlebit more of a flexible schedule,
or they're they have Fridaysoff.
We're here to really respond towhat the community needs, and
all of the providers have alsobeen wonderful at collaborating
and saying.
This is what my client said tome what do you think of this?
And I'm like amazing.
And we've also collaborated onpatient care and I'm just trying
(31:03):
to make it easier for parentsto take care of their own mental
health and physical wellness aswell, and a lot of that gives
us peace of mind when we'retaking care of our baby too.
So, you know, I've got myclinicians all around me who are
just.
I feel like I hit the jackpot.
I am honored and beyondprivileged to be working
(31:23):
alongside them.
They provide that amazingclinical support and body work
that people and these babiesneed, and then I'm there for a
lot of the emotional support.
And then, of course, if it'soutside of my scope, sam is
right there to just be like allright, let's do this, we got
this and we're just constantlyfiguring out ways to just make
(31:45):
it better.
Because, again, but they're myvillage and I didn't know I
needed them until I opened thisplace and I was like, oh my God,
it's so nice to see otherpeople every day and I couldn't
do this without them.
So I'm hoping to also like leadby example.
Does that make sense?
Because we're not supposed todo this alone.
We're not supposed to do thisalone, we're not supposed to
know how to do all of this, andI think that that's what makes
(32:06):
it special.
And the women that I work withhere Courtney Neal, shivani
Patel, kira Kim, sarah Gregory,danielle Chaitan, joanne
Sheridan, sam Watson, dana AllenI am flabbergasted that I get
to put my name alongside thesewomen.
Stephanie Theriault (32:33):
For someone who's listening to the episode
and they are a doula or maternalhealth enthusiast and they love
this idea.
What advice would you have forthem for starting up a project
where they live like beyondbirthing?
Erin Ronder Neves (32:48):
It's a great question and I'm currently
reviewing that right now withsome business advisors.
I think the biggest thing isfirst, like, set your vision.
Set your vision and and andfind like-minded people.
Find other people, cause,listen, I'm not.
I could not have done thisalone and nor should I have done
(33:09):
this alone, right.
And so I found Courtney.
I found her and I made her likeme, right?
No, we've been working togetherfor a lot of years, but I was
just like I think I'm someoneyou want to jump in with.
And she was like, really, and Igo, no, I really am.
And I was just like I think I'msomeone you want to jump in
with, and she was like, really,and I go, no, I really am.
So find people who support you.
Also, when you do somethinglike this, make sure your own
(33:30):
personal support team is okay,like I made sure, like I had,
like I still have my therapistthat I talked to.
I made sure my partner was onboard.
I made sure my kids understoodwhat was going on.
I think that's the get yourfoundation first and then figure
out where to go next.
And, like I, I am stilllearning and there's been so
(33:51):
many times where I am.
I've put the cart before thehorse and I'm continuing
learning on this journey Because, listen, I am a new business
owner.
We're only seven months old, soyou know, I always say like
we've just started solids.
You know, thinking about me interms of a baby.
You know, I'm still learninghead control.
I've just learned to roll bothways.
Crawling is potentially on theprecipice, but I'm still just
slugging around like a snake,you know.
(34:12):
So, like it's, I'm very happyto talk to anybody too, and
invite anybody into the space.
Find your like-minded people,because I think that's that's
what's keeping me going, cause,even though I know that I've got
to make some, you know, again,we're all learning here as we go
and there's got to be somechanges to the business model,
all of these different things Iknow I'm surrounded by people
that are going to support me, nomatter what, and that's what's
(34:33):
so cool.
So, find your people first, andthen go from there.
Stephanie Theriault (34:39):
I can feel it in the air that a movement is
happening right.
Women are realizing like thestatus quo is not working for us
anymore and it's people likeyou who are stepping up and
creating a place, creating thatvillage, creating the community
where we can come together andsupport other women is like the
(35:00):
first wave and it's just goingto ripple out.
Me personally, from a woman toa woman, from one mother to
another mother.
I want to thank you for doingwhat you do, because I know
you're helping people and I knowyou're helping families and
women are still here because ofbeyond birthing.
Erin Ronder Neves (35:16):
Oh well, stephanie, stop making me cry.
But like it's, but like it's anhonor and, in all honesty, I
don't know where else I'd wantto be.
I don't know where else I'dwant to be.
I had no idea about this when Iwas a kid.
Growing up, I was like I'mgoing to be a veterinarian or
I'm going to be a deep sea diverat SeaWorld.
(35:37):
You know what I mean.
I had no idea what I wanted todo.
I always said I wanted to gointo theater and you know I had
very supportive parents, sothat's great.
But like it's I, now that I'mhere, like it just makes sense
to me.
It just makes sense to me.
I just am so here to let peopleknow that they're not supposed
to know what they're doing.
And I think that's a big thing,cause a lot of people say, well
(36:00):
, you know, people have beengiving birth for eons and eons
and you know, people have beenbreastfeeding for eons and eons.
And I'm like, just because it'sinstinctual and natural doesn't
mean there's not a learningcurve.
And you know, people always say, well, why do we need all of
these extra things now, whenback then we didn't.
And I go because back then wehad our villages.
We were surrounded by ourmothers and our grandmothers and
(36:22):
our aunts and our cousins andour neighbors and our children
and whomever else wanted to be apart, who actually helped take
care of everything else in thehouse and the other children so
that that mother could heal inher bed for 40 days with her
newborn.
There's so much more societalpressures now that are not
setting up women, especially newparents or any type of parents,
(36:44):
for success.
Someone I just met with lastweek and I'm so excited we're
going to be bringing them intothis space.
There are these two women whostarted a law firm and they did
it because of how they weretreated during medical events
and they're like we need peopleto understand what paternity
leave is, what maternity leaveis, what their rights are, what
(37:06):
they can ask for, because, again, people just don't know the
questions that they need to askand taking three months off
might not be enough foreverybody.
It wasn't enough for me.
I couldn't.
There's no way I could havegone back at three months.
If I had gone back at threemonths, shit would have hit the
fan in a way that it hadn'talready.
Shit would have hit the fan ina way that it didn't know how to
have it already.
(37:28):
It's just this one size fits alland knowing what questions you
need to ask and how topersonalize the experience,
because that's what it's allabout and kind of this
individualized care is whathappens, which is why it was so
easy for me to kind of make theswitch over to like birth doula
from special education, becauseyou know special education, if
you have a student who is inneed of services, they have
something called an IEP, whichis individualized education plan
.
Then in that IEP you havelisted the successes of that
(37:49):
child, the challenges of thatchild, who they need on that
team to overcome thosechallenges.
And then also you need to workwith people who understand how
to stay in their scope.
And that's literally what abirth doula does.
First of all, I listen.
What are the individual needs,wants, hopes, desires of this
person?
Then, what are they feelingreally empowered and strong
(38:11):
about?
What do they feel like theyneed some more support on?
Who can I bring in on that team?
And then, how can I make surethat everyone's staying in their
scope, including myself, right?
So that we're not getting 5,000different answers and confusing
everybody, et cetera, et cetera.
So that's what's reallyimportant and I think it's
amazing to share that space andan honor to share that space.
Stephanie Theriault (38:32):
I'm kind of just taking it all in.
It's really remarkable whatyou're doing and the positive
change you're making for womenin the communities.
Erin Ronder Neves (38:40):
Thank you for having me, thank you for giving
me the space to share this, andI welcome anyone who's
listening.
Call me anytime.
You know, I always say to thepeople who come to my classes,
like if I don't see you againwhich I hope is not the reality
but if I don't see you again andthen I hear from you in six
months, I'm still going to pickup that phone.
I'm still going to pick up thatphone.
But if anyone is interested ingetting involved, if anyone is
(39:03):
interested in just coming to ourgroups, let us know.
We have financial aid available.
We have mass health benefits.
We are FSA, hsa eligible.
Most of our providers takeinsurances.
We'll always help you to figureit out.
Don't let money or financesever stand in the way of you
getting the support you deserve.
I love the name of your podcastMaternal Wealth right?
(39:24):
It's, Maternal Wealth is notjust money, right, it's so much
more.
So we're here to help fill inthose gaps.
We are easily accessible by thetrain.
We're right by the NorthBeverly T-stop.
If you need anything, if youneed support, if you're
concerned about needing supportand you're not pregnant yet,
reach out.
We've got you.
We've got you, and again, I andyou're not pregnant yet, like
(39:45):
reach out, we've got you, we'vegot you.
And again, I don't have all theanswers, but I'm going to go
with you to help you find thoseanswers.
Stephanie Theriault (39:53):
All of Beyond Birthing contact
information.
Website access will be locatedunderneath the podcast episodes.
You will be able to reach outto Erin at Beyond Birthing.
Thank you so much, erin, fordoing this and taking time to
sit down and open up and bevulnerable with us.
I appreciate it.
Erin Ronder Neves (40:09):
Absolutely.
Thank you for giving me thespace and you know our
vulnerabilities are superpowerman, it really is.
I'm always happy to supportpeople in that, honor people in
that and lead by example in that, because we're not alone and we
need our sisters, we need eachother.
Stephanie Theriault (40:36):
Thank you for listening.
Be sure to check out our socialmedia.
All links are provided in theepisode description.
We're excited to have you here.
Please give us a follow If youor someone you know would like
to be a guest on the show.
Reach out to us via email atinfo at maternalwealthcom.
And remember stay healthy,embrace your power, and you got
(41:00):
this.
Welcome to the Maternal Wealth Podcast, a
space for all things related tomaternal health, pregnancy and
beyond.
I'm your host, stephanieTheriault.
I am a labor and delivery nurseand a mother to three beautiful
boys.
Each week, we dive intoinspiring stories and expert
insights to remind us of thepower that you hold in
childbirth and motherhood.
We're here to explore the joys,the challenges and the
(00:38):
complexities of maternal health.
Every mother's journey isunique and every story deserves
to be told.
Please note that this podcastis for entertainment purposes
only.
It is not intended to replaceprofessional medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment.
Always consult with yourhealthcare provider for medical
guidance that is tailored toyour specific needs.
(00:59):
Are you ready?
(01:19):
Let's get into it.
Today, we welcome Erin RonderNeves, owner and founder of
Beyond Birthing.
Located in Beverly,Massachusetts, beyond Birthing
is a unique all-in-one prenataland postpartum wellness center
that offers access tofull-service prenatal care and
support.
At Beyond Birthing, you canfind childbirth and infant care
education, specialty workshopsthat include pelvic floor
(01:41):
therapy, prenatal fitness,functional medicine and
acupuncture.
In addition, they providechiropractic care, massage
therapy, birth and postpartumdoula services, lactation
consultants and mental healthclinicians who specialize in
perinatal care.
There's also family nutritionservices and much, much more.
(02:03):
In addition to operating andrunning Beyond Birthing, erin is
also a birth doula, empoweringwomen and birthing people as
they bring their children intothe world.
Did I mention that Erin is amother?
She has two children at homeand certainly has her hands full
.
But that's what we women do.
We manage it all and, with thecreation of Beyond Birthing,
(02:25):
women on the North Shore ofMassachusetts can manage it all
together.
I'm pleased to welcome Erin tothe show.
Welcome Erin.
Erin Ronder Neves (02:33):
Thank you so much, stephanie, for having me.
Hello everybody.
Stephanie Theriault (02:36):
Thank you so much for being here.
I'm super excited to hear moreabout you and about Beyond
Birthing and how it is making adifference for everyone here on
the North Shore of Massachusetts.
Erin Ronder Neves (02:45):
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah, it's definitely a dreamcome true.
It's something I've wanted fora long time, and the opportunity
presented itself about a yearago, and I jumped with two feet.
Stephanie Theriault (02:57):
Before we get into the creation of Beyond
Birthing.
I would love for our listenersto learn more about you before
you got into this journey ofmaternal health and wellness.
Erin Ronder Neves (03:06):
Yes, absolutely so.
My background is actually inperformance and theater and
special education.
That is what I went to schoolfor, for undergrad and graduate
school.
And then maternal health didn'treally come into my view until,
of course, I was pregnant.
And when I was pregnant with myfirst daughter, evelyn, my
husband and I were living alonein New York city and we, our
(03:29):
families, were up here inMassachusetts.
And when we got to around thesix month mark, we were like I
don't know if we should do thisalone.
And so we hired our birth doula, who helped us incredibly and
it's so funny because at firstmy husband's like what's a birth
doula?
What does this person do?
And literally after Evelyn wasborn, he was like, should we
name her Sylvie, which was ourbirth doula's name, just to show
(03:53):
, like, how much of an impactshe made on our family and also
how much of an impact she alsomade on him as well?
And so we had a birth doula forour first birth as well.
And so we had a birth doula forour first birth.
It did not go as planned, asmost births don't.
As a result of that, Iunexpectedly came down with
postpartum depression andanxiety, and that hit me around
(04:14):
the four month mark, which againeven goes to show you and I'm
sure you know this too that youknow that six week checkup means
nothing.
It's, it's, it's.
It's weird that it's even abaseline for anything.
That okay, nope, you're totallyokay.
Or quote the baby blues onlylast two weeks, like there's no
one size fits all in birth orpostpartum or parenting or just
(04:34):
being humans at all.
So, and my husband had to goback to work a week after my
unplanned cesarean, becausethat's what his paternity leave
was at that point.
And you know I had a couplecomplications from my cesarean,
because that's what hispaternity leave was at that
point.
And you know I had a couplecomplications from my cesarean
and I was so mad at him forreturning to work and he's like,
but I have to in order to payfor the health insurance you
(04:55):
need.
And, and it made complete sense, you know absolutely.
But it just goes to show youthat that was my first
introduction to saying like,wait, why the hell am I supposed
to do this alone?
Why am I expected to do thisalone?
Why is my husband expected todo this alone?
Do you know what I mean?
Like, and also I'm not supposedto know what I'm doing.
And so I'd already had atherapist, because therapy has
(05:18):
always been a part of my mentalhealth and I love it.
And so I knew that that one daywhen I woke up and I literally
woke up and I looked up and theceiling was black I just
remember it being black and Iwas like okay, got to call
Catherine.
And so I called Catherine andasked her like a you know, like
a acute check-in, and you knowshe, she immediately knew what
(05:43):
to do and she helped me.
What was right for me at thattime was to go on medication and
I went on medication.
I also my parents then boughtme hours with a postpartum doula
, which I didn't know existedright until the time.
And so I got a postpartum doula.
I had my mental health supportand I also had medication on
board to help me, and it tookabout four months for me to kind
(06:05):
of restabilize.
But around that eight monthmark I started feeling a lot
better and that postpartum doulawas crucial and how I was those
right after, on that four orfifth month mark Also, I learned
that postpartum doulas can gowith you to medical appointments
.
Because I technically couldn'tdrive still, I technically
couldn't lift my baby because ofall my postpartum complications
(06:27):
with my cesarean, and so shecame with me and, like, held the
baby.
So while I got an internal, Ididn't have to listen to my baby
cry in a car seat and, you know, I knew that Evelyn was being
taken care of right.
She helped me with nursing, sheset me up with a lactation
consultant that helped meunderstand how to make this
sustainable for me and for mybaby, versus just, you know,
(06:49):
making sure I was breastfeeding,regardless of what my nipples
looked like and um.
So that postpartum experiencereally opened my eyes to what if
I didn't know where to go forsupport, what if I didn't have a
husband who also was makingsure that I was doing okay and
that was financially also makingsure that everything was paid
(07:10):
for right.
Because I was still onmaternity leave and you know,
what I was doing in New YorkCity is I was a teaching artist
and an actor and I wasn't goinganywhere, being in the state I
was in, let alone commuting allaround New York City into New
York City public schools andhelping them figure out how to
put on productions with peoplewho are neurodiverse, and
(07:31):
because I was at that momentjust not in a place to be doing
anything other than taking careof myself and my baby.
And so, you know, it reallyopened up my eyes that we need
this support network.
We need resources that arecomforting, that put the mother
first, that the parents matter.
Perinatal mood and anxietydisorders are the number one
complication of pregnancy.
One in five birthing peoplewill experience it.
(07:53):
One in 10 partners.
That's a lot of people.
That's a lot of people.
And so my world blew open withhow much support a new parent
needs when they have their baby.
And then we moved up to Bostonin between our first and our
second babies, because we wantedto.
You know, we want to be closerto parents.
Especially after what I hadwith my first postpartum period,
(08:14):
I knew that I wanted to becloser so that I could have some
more support, et cetera.
And then, when we moved up toBoston, we ended up having a
miscarriage, and again, that'sanother part of the world that
no one talks about.
No one talks about that.
How you know, it was not aseasy for us to get pregnant the
second time, and no one talksabout secondary infertility.
No one, then, talks aboutmiscarriage and what this means.
(08:38):
And then when I got pregnantafter some time I got pregnant
with my daughter, rosalie, andat that point I was like that's
it, we are stacking ourselveswith support.
Like I knew what we needed.
Like I got a birth doula rightfrom the start because I knew
that I wanted to try for a VBAC,which is a vaginal birth after
cesarean.
I also knew got a postpartumdoula before I gave birth, cause
(09:00):
I was like I know this is whatI'm going to need.
I had my therapist.
My therapist was still in NewYork so she was treating me, but
I also now needed to transfermy care to a Massachusetts
therapist to make sure that Iwas going to be okay, because I
knew that it was a personalchoice to not take medication in
pregnancy and, looking back, doI think that was the best
choice?
No, but I knew that as soon asRosalie came out, I would start
(09:22):
my medication again.
That's the plan that I wantedto do, and so I needed to make
sure I had a therapist as wellas a prescriber who was going to
help me with that, because Iknew I just didn't want my
primary care or my obstetricianor midwife prescribing me that
medication because of my history.
So I knew I had that.
Then I also knew I had alactation consultant set up
ready to go, because the firsttime I was nursing with Evelyn,
(09:46):
I remember literally being likethis is so painful and just
thinking it was normal, and mybirth doula was like no, no, no,
no, it's not supposed to bepainful.
I'm like why does nobody tellyou that shit?
So I just stacked myself withsupport, which is why I think I
had such a better time withRosalie postpartum.
But that's not to say that Iwas then hit with something
called postpartum OCD, which isintrusive thoughts and really
(10:11):
scary, scary stuff.
And then that hit me maybe, Ithink, day like five after she
was born and, like I said, Ialready had all my supports in
place.
So I called my therapist and waslike this is what I'm thinking
Like.
One, does my baby need to betaken away from me for her
safety?
Two, do I need to be taken awayfrom my family for my safety?
(10:33):
And these are legit questionsthat I ask and really scary
questions for a new mom, likefor a new mom to a new baby,
right, because every baby isdifferent.
I was a new mom at that.
Mom to a new baby right,because every baby is different.
I was a new mom at that point.
For to a second baby, like?
They're really scary questionsto even think about asking.
Because, like what if theanswer is yes, and how?
(10:55):
Would I be okay with that?
But I knew that I had to thinkabout that and I think that,
knowing that I had a safe placeto go to, that there was no
judgment, they knew who I was,they knew where to go, where to
help me go, so that I could getthe support I needed, so that it
just the no judgment is whatthen made me feel safe enough to
(11:16):
say these are my true thoughts.
And then I was able to get thesupport I needed to overcome the
OCD and for me it just happenedto be again.
It looks different for everybody, but for me it literally had to
do with.
I upped my medication and Ilearned this amazing technique
about having kind of feelingsand thoughts wash over you and
through you, versus like pushingthem away and pretending they
(11:38):
don't exist.
I like that, right, it's verymuch like, and like the visual I
have is imagine like you'retaking a shower, right, you're
taking a shower and you let thewater just pass over you and
through you and it's there'sdirt on you, there's thoughts on
you, there's soap on you, butit's washing it away.
But it has to go over your bodyto get through you, to pass
(11:59):
over you and then down the drain, whereas if you're literally in
a shower and just taking thewater and splashing it back in
your face, all you're doing isjust putting all the grime back
up in your face and not helpingin making it bigger, making a
bigger problem and making abigger mess.
So that visual to me is whatclicked in my mind and literally
as soon as I started acceptingthe thoughts and just letting
them kind of wash over me, theywent away.
(12:21):
That's not to say they didn'tcreep up all the time.
I knew how to process them andnot get scared of them.
And again, that's all becauseof I had a support system.
There were some pretty scarytimes in this entire postpartum
journey that like I don't knowif I'd be here if I didn't know
where to go for support, and Ijust want to be that for people
(12:43):
and that's kind of where thebirth of Beyond Birthing I
didn't even mean to say that,but like the birth of Beyond
Birthing came from.
It's just, if people don't knowwhat kind of help they need, I
just want them to know thatthere's a place to go and they
can walk in that door.
Our door says come as you are,and I don't have all the answers
(13:04):
, but I'm going to go with themto help find the answers and I'm
going to hold them and I'mgoing to help them and support
them and let them know they'renot alone and also they're not
supposed to know how the hell todo this and it's okay to not be
.
Okay, we've got you and sothat's kind of.
I know I jumped ahead a littlebit beyond birthing, but that's
why, after Rosalie was born mysecond I had a really candid
(13:25):
conversation with my husband,adam, who is literally one of my
biggest champions, and thewhole reason I was able to even
go into doula work was becauseof my husband and his support,
because I first started as apostpartum doula, because that's
just was a natural fit for meand I've always been very open
and vulnerable and I'm very muchan open book with kind of
sharing my story, because Itruly believe I'm the majority
(13:49):
in that I struggled and I don'tfit into an Instagram TikTok box
, nor do I ever want to, becauseI think that that was
detrimental to my mental health.
Not everybody's again.
Everyone has their own journeyand I'm so supportive of anyone
who finds their journey in thesupport system that they need.
But that wasn't for mepersonally, and so I started
(14:11):
with postpartum, just kind ofsharing my story and starting to
work with families, and then Ibecame a birth doula.
And I became a birth doulabecause my best friend, carrie,
was amazing and our first twokids we had like six weeks apart
from each other, justunexpectedly.
That's just how it happened andshe called me and she's like
I'm pregnant with my third and Igo, you can have that one for
both of us.
And then she invited me to beher birth doula and that's how I
(14:36):
started.
So I started it by bringing thisamazing child whom I adore into
this world with my best friend,and it came very easily to me.
You know, the whole processdidn't make me queasy.
I just felt very comfortable ina hospital setting.
My sister is someone who hassome chronic disabilities and so
(14:57):
being in a hospital setting andadvocating for her has been a
part of my life.
She's older than me, thatwasn't a hard sell on me, I was
pretty easy in a hospital andcomfortable in a hospital
setting.
But I think the biggest thingthat that birth gave me and I
tell my friend Carrie this allthe time and I get teared up
thinking about it, because theway that her daughter, gabby's
(15:18):
birth went is exactly the way Iwould have wanted one of my
births to go but I unfortunatelyhad I didn't, unfortunately.
I'm very grateful the fact thatI had two plants, two unplanned
cesareans, because thosecesareans saved my life and my
kid's life.
So I am very, very grateful forhaving a cesarean.
But again, when you pregnant,you're like oh, my hopes, dreams
(15:41):
, wishes, right it.
You're like oh, my hopes,dreams, wishes, right.
And the way that Carrie wentthrough her labor with Gabby is
exactly how I wanted one of mylabors to go.
So it was actually an extremelycathartic experience for me
that I didn't even know wasgoing to be cathartic.
Does that make sense?
I was going in there solely tobe.
It was not about me at all,like as most as a doula, it's
(16:05):
never about you, nor should itever be.
And once I held Gabby in myarms I remember being like holy
shit, like that was absolutelybeautiful and so, and I didn't
realize the impact it would haveon healing my soul of my own
birth stories and how much itopened me up to being that.
(16:25):
Okay, this is something I needto pursue, and so then I became
a birth doula.
Stephanie Theriault (16:46):
I love the story you just shared because
not only our own births arehealing, but witnessing other
people's birth is also healing,absolutely.
Erin Ronder Neves (16:50):
It absolutely is healing.
But the thing that's the mosthealing especially now that I've
become definitely more you know, I've not been a birth doula
for about nine years.
I've been at over 300 birthsand all around the greater
Boston area the most healingthing for me, actually, when I
go to births now, is seeing thebirthing person and the partner
feel empowered to ask questions.
(17:11):
That's what's the coolest thingfor me, so that they then
understand actually how muchpower they have in the room.
Because, again, we don't knowwhat we don't know, nor should
we think that we should knowwhat we don't know.
And so many times providers oreven throughout the process,
like what questions you have?
And people are like I don'tknow because I've never done
this before, so what questionsshould I be asking?
(17:34):
Right, and so that's why, likethe classes that we teach here,
as well as me as a birth doula,one of my biggest things that I
do with my clients is I talkabout what do you need to know
to feel good about this choice.
What do you need to know sothat you feel empowered?
Because, listen, you can't makea plan of how birth can go.
That's the one thing we canguarantee about birth that it's
unpredictable.
(17:54):
But we can make preferencesright.
We can make preference of likelisten.
If we are going down the streetand all of a sudden we come to
a fork in the road, I want toknow my options instead of just
saying I need to do one way.
And if you know your optionsand then decide the way that the
doctor is suggesting you, thenyou just come from a different
point of view.
You come from a place ofempowerment versus just of like
(18:15):
acquiescing and I'm not sayingacquiescing in the way that the
provider is ever trying to doharm.
I actually don't believe thatat all.
It's more just understandingthe whole scope of the situation
, or the whole broadside view ofthe situation.
Of course, if time allows, ifit's an emergency.
That's why you know, thankgoodness for being in a hospital
and dealing with providers, butat least then could give you a
(18:38):
moment of just.
That entry point is just alittle bit different.
Stephanie Theriault (18:42):
We paused this episode for a quick message
from our sponsor.
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plus inclusivity, languageoptions, access to vaginal
breach services and, moreAdditionally, be sure to check
out our Not your Average Birthcourse.
In this course, I discuss thevariations that exist in
hospital practices based onpolicies, staffing and budgets,
(19:46):
all of which can directly affectyour birth experience and
outcome when you walk intoBeyond Birthing?
Erin Ronder Neves (20:06):
what do you see?
What are you going toexperience?
Yeah, thank you for asking thatquestion.
What you're going to experienceis you're going to experience a
living room.
You're going to walk intosomeone's home.
It is aesthetically designed,like we actually call our big
space the living room, becauseit's supposed to be warm, it's
supposed to be inviting.
It doesn't look like aclinician's office, right, it
looks like a living room.
We've got a table and chairsand a kitchenette and we've got
(20:26):
couches and we've got chairslike cushy chairs and pillows
that you can give yourselfsensory input on.
I've got breastfeeding pillowsin every single cushion of the
couch.
I've got postpartum suppliesyou may need in every step of
the journey.
I've got stuff in the bathroomso that the mom can like take
five seconds and like wipe herarmpits and put on deodorant.
(20:46):
Do you know what I?
mean Brush your teeth, come,spray your face like, wash your
face, like, take a moment foryourself.
It's this beyond birthing isset up for parents.
It is set up for parentsbecause parents are often
forgotten.
We are always focused on thebaby and the baby is so
important.
Oh my God, don't get me wrong.
(21:07):
The baby is extremely critical.
But, just like we learn on anairplane, you put your own
oxygen mask on first beforehelping your child, which
actually, as a mother, like goescompletely against my instinct.
Do you know what I mean?
I'm like nope, got to save thekid first.
And it's like well, wait aminute, I can't save the kid if
they don't have me.
So that's kind of the reframingof the.
(21:27):
It's just reframing therelationship.
And so when they come intobeyond birthing, they're going
to be welcomed with a hug, orthey're going to be welcomed
with women just sitting aroundand just talking about their
experiences in very real waysand in any state they're in.
We have so many amazingproviders here too that are
oftentimes just walking throughthe space, because they're
(21:48):
either going to see clients, orwe're just saying hey, or we're
connecting or collaborating onsomebody, or we're making that
connection so that they'regetting the best help they need,
and it's just a welcome, it's asmile, it's a hey, how are you?
And the best thing is is whatdo you need today?
That's what they're going to beabout.
They're going to be about thequestion of what do you need
today?
How are you?
And it's so funny becausewhenever I asked that question,
(22:09):
everyone's like well, the baby'sgood, you know the baby's
gaining, the babies, you knowreally doing well.
And I'm like awesome.
But I asked how are you doing?
Because no one knows how toanswer that question anymore.
And so that's been.
That's been really interesting,cause I just had a mom in here
yesterday and I was like how areyou doing?
She goes well, you know thebaby, we've had some problems
with feeding.
And I go I'm S, it sounds sogood that you're on track with
(22:31):
that Sounds.
I'm so glad you're seeing DrCourtney and you're here with me
now we're going to flange fityou all of these things.
But then I was like but then,what about you girl?
And she was like it's been hardand I go, tell me more, tell me
more.
And then I actually asked if Icould hold the baby, because
it's so nice to talk aboutyourself while not holding your
(22:51):
baby.
And so I'm holding this amazingcute potato that is like
delicious in every way andhaving a good time and totally
chilling, while mom is finallygiven some space to be like, oh
yeah, let me check in on what'sgoing on inside of me, and
that's what we're here to do.
We're here to help hold babies.
If you need it.
We're here to help you take aminute to yourself.
(23:13):
When you come to our nurtureand nourish support groups like
they are full on lactationsupport we have a lactation
specialist every single timethat the group happens so that
you can come in for lactationsupport.
So it's no more like, oh wait,I can only go to this lactation
group on this day.
Oh, and if I miss it that day,I have to wait another week.
Nope, not here.
You just walk in any day andwe're here Monday, tuesday,
(23:33):
wednesday, thursday, 1030 to 12.
But then, in addition to that,we also have perinatal
professionals.
Come in and just introduce theresources that are in this
community to help the parentstake better care of themselves
and also bring peace of mind tothem and what they're doing with
their child or children right.
And these support groups are forfirst-time parents, fourth-time
(23:55):
parents, like any bit, and Ithink it's really just taking
the space to be like okay, well,what do I need?
Where can I talk about things,and in a safe place.
And again, we're not.
And a lot of it is peer led,which is fantastic because
research shows it's one of thebest ways we can support each
other is through peers.
Right, you know, we're not hereto just only hear one voice in
(24:17):
the space.
I don't think that that'shelpful in any part of anyone's
life, even in the perinatalprocess.
Like, if I'm someone's doula, Iencourage them to take
childbirth ed classes withsomeone other than me, or they
take them with me, but thenplease also talk to this other
person because I don't want myvoice to be the only voice they
hear.
I don't think that that's again, I don't know everything you
(24:38):
know, and so it's important forpeople to know the resources out
there and just coming andsitting and being and realizing
that also the we have thesedifferent perinatal
professionals come in as well asalso our providers who are in
the space, like I had one momcome in a few months ago and she
was just, she was having a hardtime.
She comes in.
She's Kira, one of ourlactation consultants, was here
(25:00):
and she was helping with thegroup.
She helped her with lactation.
Then I was like why don't I holdthe baby and you go talk to Sam
Watson, who is our clinicalsocial worker who focuses on
perinatal mental health.
So she went in there for 10minutes while I held baby and
then she went over and made anappointment with Dr Courtney
because there there's sometension in the baby.
But also I was like, okay,great, the baby's getting
adjusted.
But what about you?
She goes, oh right, and I goexactly, your body also matters.
(25:23):
So this woman came in feelingpretty desperate and she left
with a community as well asthree providers on her team and
a doula me, like you know, causeI I'm not, I'm not hired by
people in our community to betheir doula like who come for
postpartum.
I call myself pretty much likethe doula of the space, because
that's what I am, I'm aconnector, right.
(25:49):
So I you know, and she's nowgot a doula me in her corner and
her sport team quarterbackingthe team but keeping her in the
driver's seat.
Stephanie Theriault (25:53):
When I went to visit you a couple months
back and I was sitting there inthe lactation class and I'm
watching everyone there was momsthere, partners are there, and
all I could think was I wish Ihad this.
The community just being aroundother people who are going
through what you're goingthrough and having that support
that you talk about isfundamental.
(26:15):
It's that village that everyonesays that we need but that
doesn't exist and that's whatyou're creating.
So it's amazing.
I love it.
Erin Ronder Neves (26:23):
Thank you so much and like, and, and the
thing is like I couldn't havedone this without my village too
, and I think you know, as birthworkers and kind of in this
field, a lot of us work in silos, and kind of coming together
under one roof is what makes itso special Dr Courtney Neal, who
runs Foundations FamilyChiropractic.
(26:45):
I approached her two years agoand I was like hi, how are you?
I'm Erin, I really like you, Iwant to like work with you, I
want to partner with you tocreate this center, because this
is what I have as a vision andI want providers to be a part of
it, and I want you to be thefirst provider that is a part of
this.
And she's like I'm sorry, whoare you?
Again, and I go right, right,so let's roll, roll that, roll
(27:06):
the tape back.
And so then you know she waslooking to move location.
So she found this space andthen the space next door would
be coming available.
So she found this space.
She's relocated FoundationsFamily Chiropractic to here and
then was like well, erin, hey,this space just opened up.
What about doing what you saidhere?
(27:26):
And then that's how thiscreated.
So Dr Courtney andI reallyworked together to collaborate
on the space and to get thespace to finance the space.
And you know, we made it come tolife and I think that the fact
that we're all under one roof iswhat makes it so special and,
as I was talking to someone thismorning, it's the secret sauce,
(27:47):
right, it's the secret saucethat we are all here together
and I think that you knowthere's such value.
We all up our own personalvalue in what we do and what we
do as our specialty, bycollaborating and being part of
just this community.
And that's what it is.
It's just a community, and Ithink that so many people have
(28:09):
been wanting to have beenwalking through the door now,
like professionals that are justwanted to be associated, that
want to be, um, you know, comein and talk to our new mom, like
our excuse me, our nurture andnourish, like lactation and
postpartum support group.
Yes, please, I am here to helpraise other people up, because
I'm only as strong as the womannext to me and I'm only here
because of the woman's shouldersthat I stood upon, and that is
(28:31):
what we need to do for eachother.
We need to do it for each otherand all of our practices are
very partner inclusive, which Ithink is very unique.
Because you know, I think, whatI went through with my husband
when we had Evelyn, our first noone talked about how postpartum
really affected the marriagedynamic or how it felt for the
husband to have to go back towork and like feel like they're
(28:54):
abandoning their kid and theirwife you know what I mean.
And and then me having suchrage at my husband because I was
like you are abandoning me andhe's like what is happening, you
know, and then us going throughthis hard time, like it's
partners matter too and like,even as a birth doula, I'm so
partner inclusive in what I do.
It's I'm there to absolutelymake sure that birthing person
(29:16):
stays in the driver's seat, butI'm also there absolutely make
sure that birthing person staysin the driver's seat, but I'm
also there to make sure thepartner's okay.
Everything that we do here, allof our groups are very much are
always including that partnerand we now have, like we have a
bros, babies and beef dadconnection group that happens on
Saturdays, where we have Nick'sroast beef kind of bring in
sandwiches, because you know, Igot to get them in the door
somehow.
No, I appreciate it.
(29:36):
We've had such a loyalfollowing.
They've been so great.
And literally two of our issuesI call them my OG moms here just
came up with.
We just brainstormed the otherday we're going to have a bros,
babies and beef paternity leaveedition on Monday afternoon,
starting in a couple of weeks,because now so many partners are
taking paternity leave andthey're like Whoa, what do I do?
(29:58):
And I'm like I got you, so likethat's something else that
we're doing.
We're really responding to whatthe community is asking for as
well, because I'm new here.
I'm not trying to make thecommunity fit into my box, I'm
trying to make this fit into thecommunity.
So, you know, anytime someonehas something on their minds
like I had one mom say say, likeI want to talk about pumping
and going back to work, I've gotno idea.
(30:19):
And I was like done, and we setup something the next week, you
know.
And now we have a working momsupport group, also starting
with these two OGs who are justlike I, you know, like I just
really I'm going to miss this,but I'm going back to work.
So what can we do?
And I was go here.
We go Like we'll set this upand we're starting like a
working mom support group onFridays, you know, because a lot
(30:39):
of people who are going back towork either can work from home
on Friday so they have a littlebit more of a flexible schedule,
or they're they have Fridaysoff.
We're here to really respond towhat the community needs, and
all of the providers have alsobeen wonderful at collaborating
and saying.
This is what my client said tome what do you think of this?
And I'm like amazing.
And we've also collaborated onpatient care and I'm just trying
(31:03):
to make it easier for parentsto take care of their own mental
health and physical wellness aswell, and a lot of that gives
us peace of mind when we'retaking care of our baby too.
So, you know, I've got myclinicians all around me who are
just.
I feel like I hit the jackpot.
I am honored and beyondprivileged to be working
(31:23):
alongside them.
They provide that amazingclinical support and body work
that people and these babiesneed, and then I'm there for a
lot of the emotional support.
And then, of course, if it'soutside of my scope, sam is
right there to just be like allright, let's do this, we got
this and we're just constantlyfiguring out ways to just make
(31:45):
it better.
Because, again, but they're myvillage and I didn't know I
needed them until I opened thisplace and I was like, oh my God,
it's so nice to see otherpeople every day and I couldn't
do this without them.
So I'm hoping to also like leadby example.
Does that make sense?
Because we're not supposed todo this alone.
We're not supposed to do thisalone, we're not supposed to
know how to do all of this, andI think that that's what makes
(32:06):
it special.
And the women that I work withhere Courtney Neal, shivani
Patel, kira Kim, sarah Gregory,danielle Chaitan, joanne
Sheridan, sam Watson, dana AllenI am flabbergasted that I get
to put my name alongside thesewomen.
Stephanie Theriault (32:33):
For someone who's listening to the episode
and they are a doula or maternalhealth enthusiast and they love
this idea.
What advice would you have forthem for starting up a project
where they live like beyondbirthing?
Erin Ronder Neves (32:48):
It's a great question and I'm currently
reviewing that right now withsome business advisors.
I think the biggest thing isfirst, like, set your vision.
Set your vision and and andfind like-minded people.
Find other people, cause,listen, I'm not.
I could not have done thisalone and nor should I have done
(33:09):
this alone, right.
And so I found Courtney.
I found her and I made her likeme, right?
No, we've been working togetherfor a lot of years, but I was
just like I think I'm someoneyou want to jump in with.
And she was like, really, and Igo, no, I really am.
And I was just like I think I'msomeone you want to jump in
with, and she was like, really,and I go, no, I really am.
So find people who support you.
Also, when you do somethinglike this, make sure your own
(33:30):
personal support team is okay,like I made sure, like I had,
like I still have my therapistthat I talked to.
I made sure my partner was onboard.
I made sure my kids understoodwhat was going on.
I think that's the get yourfoundation first and then figure
out where to go next.
And, like I, I am stilllearning and there's been so
(33:51):
many times where I am.
I've put the cart before thehorse and I'm continuing
learning on this journey Because, listen, I am a new business
owner.
We're only seven months old, soyou know, I always say like
we've just started solids.
You know, thinking about me interms of a baby.
You know, I'm still learninghead control.
I've just learned to roll bothways.
Crawling is potentially on theprecipice, but I'm still just
slugging around like a snake,you know.
(34:12):
So, like it's, I'm very happyto talk to anybody too, and
invite anybody into the space.
Find your like-minded people,because I think that's that's
what's keeping me going, cause,even though I know that I've got
to make some, you know, again,we're all learning here as we go
and there's got to be somechanges to the business model,
all of these different things Iknow I'm surrounded by people
that are going to support me, nomatter what, and that's what's
(34:33):
so cool.
So, find your people first, andthen go from there.
Stephanie Theriault (34:39):
I can feel it in the air that a movement is
happening right.
Women are realizing like thestatus quo is not working for us
anymore and it's people likeyou who are stepping up and
creating a place, creating thatvillage, creating the community
where we can come together andsupport other women is like the
(35:00):
first wave and it's just goingto ripple out.
Me personally, from a woman toa woman, from one mother to
another mother.
I want to thank you for doingwhat you do, because I know
you're helping people and I knowyou're helping families and
women are still here because ofbeyond birthing.
Erin Ronder Neves (35:16):
Oh well, stephanie, stop making me cry.
But like it's, but like it's anhonor and, in all honesty, I
don't know where else I'd wantto be.
I don't know where else I'dwant to be.
I had no idea about this when Iwas a kid.
Growing up, I was like I'mgoing to be a veterinarian or
I'm going to be a deep sea diverat SeaWorld.
(35:37):
You know what I mean.
I had no idea what I wanted todo.
I always said I wanted to gointo theater and you know I had
very supportive parents, sothat's great.
But like it's I, now that I'mhere, like it just makes sense
to me.
It just makes sense to me.
I just am so here to let peopleknow that they're not supposed
to know what they're doing.
And I think that's a big thing,cause a lot of people say, well
(36:00):
, you know, people have beengiving birth for eons and eons
and you know, people have beenbreastfeeding for eons and eons.
And I'm like, just because it'sinstinctual and natural doesn't
mean there's not a learningcurve.
And you know, people always say, well, why do we need all of
these extra things now, whenback then we didn't.
And I go because back then wehad our villages.
We were surrounded by ourmothers and our grandmothers and
(36:22):
our aunts and our cousins andour neighbors and our children
and whomever else wanted to be apart, who actually helped take
care of everything else in thehouse and the other children so
that that mother could heal inher bed for 40 days with her
newborn.
There's so much more societalpressures now that are not
setting up women, especially newparents or any type of parents,
(36:44):
for success.
Someone I just met with lastweek and I'm so excited we're
going to be bringing them intothis space.
There are these two women whostarted a law firm and they did
it because of how they weretreated during medical events
and they're like we need peopleto understand what paternity
leave is, what maternity leaveis, what their rights are, what
(37:06):
they can ask for, because, again, people just don't know the
questions that they need to askand taking three months off
might not be enough foreverybody.
It wasn't enough for me.
I couldn't.
There's no way I could havegone back at three months.
If I had gone back at threemonths, shit would have hit the
fan in a way that it hadn'talready.
Shit would have hit the fan ina way that it didn't know how to
have it already.
(37:28):
It's just this one size fits alland knowing what questions you
need to ask and how topersonalize the experience,
because that's what it's allabout and kind of this
individualized care is whathappens, which is why it was so
easy for me to kind of make theswitch over to like birth doula
from special education, becauseyou know special education, if
you have a student who is inneed of services, they have
something called an IEP, whichis individualized education plan
.
Then in that IEP you havelisted the successes of that
(37:49):
child, the challenges of thatchild, who they need on that
team to overcome thosechallenges.
And then also you need to workwith people who understand how
to stay in their scope.
And that's literally what abirth doula does.
First of all, I listen.
What are the individual needs,wants, hopes, desires of this
person?
Then, what are they feelingreally empowered and strong
(38:11):
about?
What do they feel like theyneed some more support on?
Who can I bring in on that team?
And then, how can I make surethat everyone's staying in their
scope, including myself, right?
So that we're not getting 5,000different answers and confusing
everybody, et cetera, et cetera.
So that's what's reallyimportant and I think it's
amazing to share that space andan honor to share that space.
Stephanie Theriault (38:32):
I'm kind of just taking it all in.
It's really remarkable whatyou're doing and the positive
change you're making for womenin the communities.
Erin Ronder Neves (38:40):
Thank you for having me, thank you for giving
me the space to share this, andI welcome anyone who's
listening.
Call me anytime.
You know, I always say to thepeople who come to my classes,
like if I don't see you againwhich I hope is not the reality
but if I don't see you again andthen I hear from you in six
months, I'm still going to pickup that phone.
I'm still going to pick up thatphone.
But if anyone is interested ingetting involved, if anyone is
(39:03):
interested in just coming to ourgroups, let us know.
We have financial aid available.
We have mass health benefits.
We are FSA, hsa eligible.
Most of our providers takeinsurances.
We'll always help you to figureit out.
Don't let money or financesever stand in the way of you
getting the support you deserve.
I love the name of your podcastMaternal Wealth right?
(39:24):
It's, Maternal Wealth is notjust money, right, it's so much
more.
So we're here to help fill inthose gaps.
We are easily accessible by thetrain.
We're right by the NorthBeverly T-stop.
If you need anything, if youneed support, if you're
concerned about needing supportand you're not pregnant yet,
reach out.
We've got you.
We've got you, and again, I andyou're not pregnant yet, like
(39:45):
reach out, we've got you, we'vegot you.
And again, I don't have all theanswers, but I'm going to go
with you to help you find thoseanswers.
Stephanie Theriault (39:53):
All of Beyond Birthing contact
information.
Website access will be locatedunderneath the podcast episodes.
You will be able to reach outto Erin at Beyond Birthing.
Thank you so much, erin, fordoing this and taking time to
sit down and open up and bevulnerable with us.
I appreciate it.
Erin Ronder Neves (40:09):
Absolutely.
Thank you for giving me thespace and you know our
vulnerabilities are superpowerman, it really is.
I'm always happy to supportpeople in that, honor people in
that and lead by example in that, because we're not alone and we
need our sisters, we need eachother.
Stephanie Theriault (40:36):
Thank you for listening.
Be sure to check out our socialmedia.
All links are provided in theepisode description.
We're excited to have you here.
Please give us a follow If youor someone you know would like
to be a guest on the show.
Reach out to us via email atinfo at maternalwealthcom.
And remember stay healthy,embrace your power, and you got
(41:00):
this.
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