"Can you feel the shift? Women, mothers, and birthing people everywhere are eager for change, ready to take their power back, walk in their sovereignty, and become the wise women they were called to be," says Midwife Audrey. This powerful conversation with Midwife Audrey launches a four-part series that aims to return discussions about pregnancy, birth, and motherhood to our mainstream cultural conversations.
Born and raised in Florida, Midwife Audrey brings over a decade of clinical experience and her personal journey as a mother to this enlightening discussion. After experiencing her own birth challenges when her son William was born prematurely via cesarean, she dedicated herself to understanding structural racism in healthcare and improving birth outcomes for all families, especially those in the BIPOC community. Her journey led her to become Florida's first Black president of the Midwives Association and to launch the Mother Midwife Movement.
Together, we explore the concept of "conscious procreation" - approaching pregnancy with intention rather than allowing it to simply happen to you. Like the difference between a wild, accidental garden and one carefully planted with each element positioned to thrive, conscious procreation creates a foundation for empowered motherhood. We discuss the importance of building your village before you need it, understanding your genetic blueprint, and having crucial conversations with your partner about parenting philosophies before the baby arrives.
Perhaps most profound is our discussion about envisioning how you want to mother - creating a North Star to guide you through parenthood's challenges. Rather than focusing solely on material preparations, we encourage women to consider what kind of mother they want to be emotionally and spiritually. This vision becomes a touchstone to return to when parenting gets tough.
Join us for this transformative conversation about reclaiming maternal wisdom and sovereignty. The future of humanity may depend on our ability to transform motherhood from something women merely survive into an experience in which they consciously thrive.
Audrey is a midwife and cofounder of Love Corps and Real-Life Superheroes, a global platform that is a band, transformational speakers and humanitarians. To learn more about her work check out her Linktree: https://linktr.ee/real.life.superheroes, website: www.thelovecorps.net, or contact her at midwifeaudreywellness@gmail.com.
Would you like to be a guest on our show? Send us a message here!
Become a Maternal Wealth Provider Today. Search and Find Maternal Wealth Providers Near You. Visit www.maternalwealth.com
Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to the Maternal Wealth Podcast, a space
for all things related tomaternal health, pregnancy and
beyond.
I'm your host, stephanie Terrio.
I'm a labor and delivery nurseand a mother to three beautiful
boys.
Each week, we dive intoinspiring stories and expert
insights to remind us of thepower that you hold in
childbirth and motherhood.
We're here to explore the joys,the challenges and the
(00:33):
complexities of maternal health.
Every mother's journey isunique and every story deserves
to be told.
Please note that this podcastis for entertainment purposes
only.
It is not intended to replaceprofessional medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment.
Always consult with yourhealthcare provider for medical
guidance that is tailored toyour specific needs.
(00:54):
Are you ready?
Let's get into it.
Today we're going to switch itup a little bit.
I'm going to bring you back to2024, when I reached out to a
midwife in Florida named MidwifeAudrey.
(01:14):
I shared with her the missionof this podcast and she was
immediately interested injoining.
Over the months we hadconversations talking about how
can we return the conversationof what?
Pregnancy, conception,motherhood, birth, matri-science
(01:35):
all of these things in themainstream culture in this
country don't really get intoreally before we have children.
She came up with a four-partseries.
She goes into depth and almostpoetic symmetry about these
enlightening concepts that weneed to get back into our
(01:55):
mainstream conversations withour sisters, with our friends,
with our children, with ourgrandparents, about
understanding the transcendenceof our lives, of the lives of
women from childhood,adolescence, young adulthood,
motherhood and beyond.
Before we get into the firstseries, I want to introduce
(02:18):
midwife Audrey.
She was born and raised inFlorida and since the age of
four she knew she wanted to workwith pregnant people and babies
as a first-generation Americanthrough education.
Innovation, persistence andresilience were concepts
instilled in her by her Haitianparents.
In 2009, midwife Audreygraduated from Florida State
(02:42):
University, majoring in biologyand women's studies, with a
minor in chemistry andpsychology.
In 2012, she became a motherwith the birth of her son,
william.
He was born at 33 weeksprematurely due to preterm labor
via cesarean section.
Despite her good health,education, access to resources
(03:04):
in America, audrey's birthexperience was evidenced by
social determinants that she wasnot able to escape.
Her personal experiencecatalyzed her curiosity and her
need to better understandstructural and systemic racism
in America and how it affectspublic health and reproductive
(03:24):
disparities by birthing people,especially in the BIPOC
community, so she can createpositive social change.
In 2013, midwife Audreygraduated from the Florida
School of Traditional Midwiferyand has had the privilege of
supporting, educating andempowering hundreds of families
(03:45):
in Florida at home and birthcenters.
She's practiced midwiferyindependently and in group
settings across the state andfound that it is not sustainable
.
Those experiences ignited adrive in her to help improve the
workforce of out-of-hospitalmidwives to help improve the
(04:07):
workforce of out-of-hospitalmidwives, increase the number of
BIPOC birth providers anddecrease barriers of access to
midwifery care in Floridafamilies.
So in 2019, she decided to runfor presidency of the Midwives
Association in Florida and shewon, becoming Florida's first
Black president.
In her experience, she gainedleadership skills, legislative
experience with policy and billwriting.
(04:29):
In early 2020, audrey went onher first midwifery mission trip
to Cap-Aisien, haiti, to giveback to her dad's hometown.
Haiti has the highest maternalmorbidity and mortality in the
Western Hemisphere maternalmorbidity and mortality in the
Western Hemisphere and she sawfirsthand invaluable role that
(04:50):
community midwives play inproviding for families education
, support and healthcare.
As a mother and a midwife withover 10 years of clinical
experience, midwife Audrey hasgained essential knowledge of
critical components affectingmaternal health and wellness
knowledge of critical componentsaffecting maternal health and
wellness, healthcare systems andour global wellness at large.
(05:12):
She is passionate aboutimproving birth equity and its
positive global impacts throughincreased access to community
wellness by empowering communitymidwives.
One of Midwife Audrey'spersonal causes is to the Mother
Midwife Movement, a culturalawareness campaign aimed to
achieve family, community andglobal wellness by centering and
(05:34):
empowering mothers and midwivesthrough arts, storytelling,
leadership, research, education,advocacy and activism in
midwifery.
Her mission is to be a motherand a midwife in a new world
where tomorrow is a beautifulplace for everyone, regardless
of where they were born or wherethey live, because the quality
(05:56):
of every life matters.
When midwife Audrey and I weregoing back and forth about what
topics we should cover, this iswhat she wrote to me Can you
feel the shift?
Women, mothers and birthingpeople are eager for change and
ready to take their power back,ready to walk in their
sovereignty, ready to become thewise woman they were called to
(06:16):
be.
Yes, can you feel it?
I feel it every single day, Ifeel it at work, I feel it at
home, I feel it in the community.
We women are ready to take ourpower back.
We women are ready to walk insovereignty together.
I'm excited for this series.
I'm excited for her words, tospeak to you, to empower you so
(06:41):
that together we rise up andmove forward and take our power
back.
All of us, we welcome you andwe hope you join us for this
(07:02):
four-part series, a powerful,enlightening conversation that
will arm you with the knowledgeof your options about conscious
procreation, birth empowermentand family wellness, with myself
and midwife Audrey.
Welcome, audrey.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Thank you.
Thank you so much, Stephanie,for having me on your podcast.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Thank you so much for being here.
I'm excited for this four-partseries.
I'm excited to get intoconversation with you.
I think this is such a greatopportunity for us women
birthing people to take a seatand just listen and re-envision
what it means to be a woman,what it means to get into the
path of having children, thetransition into motherhood and
(07:51):
beyond.
I would love for you to take amoment and share with our
listeners more about who you areand why this message is so
important for yourself.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I am myself a mother.
I have my son, william, who isnow 12.
Since I was young, I always knewthat working in the field of
motherhood and and working withother mothers was for me.
However, the path as it'sunfolded has been one that I
(08:30):
either was taken by surprise orlearned about.
You know the experiences that Ihad after the fact, and so I see
that it is that much moreimportant, from a personal
perspective and also from asocietal, cultural perspective,
for us all to be able to shareour experiences and to share the
(08:55):
best, latest evidence-basedknowledge that's out there, so
that we can, I guess you can say, say set humanity up for our
best expressed selves as amother myself and going through
the experience of pregnancy andthen trying to, you know,
(09:19):
conceive another baby, and alsofrom the clinical practice of
being a midwife baby, and alsofrom the clinical practice of
being a midwife, there's so muchinformation that I did not know
until after the fact, and Ifind repeatedly that there's
still a lot of information thatmany of the people that have
(09:39):
served as their midwife and justpeople that I speak to on a
day-to-day basis out on thestreet, there's just so much
that's not known or understoodabout our bodies or about our
options, or about or having thespace to even share our
experiences and stories and seeourselves reflected, and that
(10:02):
tends to create a level ofisolation and wondering is it
just me, am I normal, am I weird?
And these are just things that Ifeel like, in this day and age,
doesn't have to be the case,which is why it's so incredible
that, with the use of technologyand being able to reach out and
(10:23):
have conversations with peoplelike you on your platform, that
we can bridge that gap andcreate a resource for other
people out there who areconsidering starting a family or
who have already started theirfamilies, to be able to attain
more information that helpstruly empower us and helps to,
(10:46):
in essence, allow us to be thebest versions of ourselves.
That then brings forth, youknow, a greater capacity of
humanity that is compassionate,loving and kind, which
ultimately will just transformthe world, in my opinion, which
ultimately will just transformthe world.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
In my opinion, going off of what you're saying, I
agree with you 100%.
I believe we all, everyonewants this right.
We want to go into having apartner, creating a family, and
procreate and contribute to theworld, make a better place.
And from my perspective as alabor and delivery nurse seeing
(11:28):
my patients primarily I work inthe hospital there's been this
shift where the empowerment wegive it to somebody else, for
example, the birth provider,this conversation, what I'm
trying to do is to bring thatpower back to you, to us, and
make it more of a commonality.
Yes, we need birth providers tohelp us and to care for us, but
(11:51):
ultimately we hold the power.
That journey should be madetogether as opposed to just
handing our power over tosomebody else.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Absolutely 100% agree .
Speaker 1 (12:01):
You use this term conscious procreation.
I love it.
Could you share with me alittle bit about what that means
to you?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Yeah, I think that growing up and seeing people
have babies, it was an acceptedthought process like, oh, you
get married and you have a baby,like that was the entirety of
the idea of having more humanswas just like.
(12:37):
You know, we even have in thatnursery rhyme song, so and so
and so and so kissing in a tree.
First come love, then comesmarriage, then comes baby in a
baby carriage, and so that'sjust a cultural like.
One of the popularized culturalideas is that you get married,
you have a baby.
We also have the other, whereyou are in a relationship,
(12:58):
whether it's committed or not,and you can also still have a
baby.
But the idea of having a babyis something that's happening to
you as opposed to one that youintentionally have put thought
into it prior to, which has twocompletely different results,
(13:18):
especially from a clinicalperspective.
As a midwife, I see thedifferent potentialities of how
pregnancy can develop, but I'vealso, you know, have looked at
the evidence and the researchabout when people are, you know,
established and they are wellinformed about their options and
they go into conceiving withthat place of empowerment, as
(13:43):
opposed to oh, oh, wow, it's asurprise.
Now we're pregnant with nothought about where we are in
life or what preparations orthings we might need, or just
what does this journey evenentail?
It seems like in our society,motherhood is something that is
(14:03):
like this separate island thatwe have to navigate within, like
the bigger interworkings ofsociety itself.
And so, when it comes toconscious procreation, that term
comes out of an intentionalthought process and envisioning
(14:24):
of what it is we want or notwant, because, you know, frankly
, children are kind of thiswhole, like this bouquet of so
many unexpected things.
But when we consciously envisionwhat it is that we need, what
is going on with ourselves, ourphysicality, our body, our
(14:45):
relationship status and all ofthose things, then having a baby
consciously has a muchdifferent feel, or even
unfolding, kind of like anaccidental garden where it's
like, oh yeah, I threw a tomatoout there and it just took root
and it's growing, and it's just,you know this wild garden.
Or it's like, oh yeah, I threw atomato out there and it just
took root and it's growing, andit's just, you know this wild
(15:07):
garden.
Or it's a garden that'sintentionally planted.
You plant the plant where youknow it's going to be able to
thrive the best because there'sthe most sun or resources or the
things that that particularplant needs.
Those are two completelydifferent modalities, which then
produces different types ofquality crop.
(15:27):
One may have, like, plants thatare struggling and not doing as
well, and one has plants thatare thriving, because you
understand what it needs andyou're putting it where it needs
to be.
So that's kind of the metaphorfor unconscious procreation
versus conscious procreation.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
We paused this episode for a quick message from
our sponsor.
At Maternal Wealth.
We aim to ensure that you haveaccess to the best and the most
appropriate care.
That's why we created amaternal healthcare provider
database.
Maternal health providers caneasily create profiles to
(16:11):
promote their services andexciting way for women to search
for and find maternal healthproviders near them and tailored
to their specific needs.
Profiles feature badges thathighlight various services, such
(16:39):
as TODAC-friendly practices,all-female practices, lgbtqai
plus inclusivity, languageoptions, access to.
In this course, I discuss thevariations that exist in
hospital practices based onpolicies, staffing and budgets,
all of which can directly affectyour birth experience and
outcome.
We've all heard the term ittakes a village to raise your
child.
For those of us who are goinginto motherhood, I think we
(17:08):
don't really understand exactlywhat that village is until we
get to the other side.
How can we help women who aregoing into their first pregnancy
, going into motherhood for thefirst time, set themselves up to
have that village ready forthem when they need it?
Speaker 2 (17:28):
So just a little background, right?
I think sometimes we've heardthis term but seldomly
understand the implications andthe importance of this term, and
I'm that I was definitely oneof those people like, oh, yeah,
yeah, yeah, uh, huh, sure, like,in my mind's eye, the thought
(17:49):
process of oh, that's when youhave way more babies, you need
more, way more support.
And so I came from this ideathat, like, if I am a, like, I'm
capable of taking care ofmyself, paying my own bills and,
you know, owning my own things,and so motherhood, and that
(18:13):
idea was very much so inalignment with that.
And so I didn't do preparationor even think that I would need
additional like support.
I thought to myself like, ohyeah, sure, I'll join a mom's
group or something like that.
And it wasn't until after thefact, going through my own
experiences and then seeing theexperiences of the clients that
(18:35):
I've served, like, oh my gosh,this is a pearl of wisdom for
humanity period.
And now you know if I were ableto do it differently, I think,
seeking out groups with otherwomen and other people around
that have shared values, thatare actively growing their
families.
(18:55):
There's so much that I couldhave learned and also there's so
much resources that I couldhave mined through the
connection that I had with them,resources that I could have
mined through the connectionthat I had with them.
And so the village mentality.
Sometimes we tend to just kindof assume like, oh yeah, I have
a family, so sure, like my momor my aunt or my sister, you
(19:17):
know, that's just built in, andsometimes for some families
they're absolutely blessed withthose types of connections and
that is the extended villagethat that baby is raised in.
But really I think it'simportant to intentionally allow
ourselves to be connected inlike-minded groups and so that
(19:40):
we can be able to have otherpeople to turn to and ask
questions.
Should we be in that similarrealm?
I remember I didn't haveanybody to turn to, really ask
or consider like, is this normal?
Did you go through this?
Is this a thing?
And so that it was very much sokind of like my own
internalized experience, eventhough I was in midwifery school
(20:05):
and serving clients.
I realized that that I guess ispart of maybe the American
culture is that theseconversations are not open and
if you do have them, they'revery hush, hush to like one on
one, like almost secretive, likehey, so this thing's happening
Like did it happen to you too?
(20:26):
Now, looking back, I'm like, ohwow, that's one of those things
that through how we hold spacefor each other which is what a
village really really does wecan change the culture of what
is acceptable and how we show upfor other people, including
birthing people.
As mothers and birthing people,we were never intended to do
(20:50):
this alone.
And when we look at theevolutionary process of having
more humans and we look at theevidence that supports what
actually helps produce ahealthier family, you know,
foundation in general is thatfamily is then supported by
other integral family members,and those integral family
(21:13):
members are also supported bycommunity members, kind of like
a rose petal not even a rosepetal, but a rose itself, where
the very, very center of it is,you know, the baby coming from
the mother and then the motherbeing surrounded by additional
petals of the immediate family,and then the immediate family is
(21:34):
supported by so on and so forth.
You see what I mean.
That right there.
I'm like, oh my gosh.
Community support, familysupport that is now something I
counsel clients about prenatally, because I see it makes a huge
difference in the degree ofmaternal mental health issues
(21:57):
and also societal issues thatthen can impact their health.
And so you know, when youalready are with child or now,
let's say, you're holding thebaby in your hand it's a little
bit harder to at that point, beable to then establish
connections with someone new andthen be able to build the trust
(22:19):
that's needed to ask themsomething like oh can you come
over and help me out with mydishes, or help me with my kid,
or, or I'm having a tough time,I just need someone to talk to.
You know, like at that pointwe're already in the need with a
very limited capacity to thenservice that need.
I believe that if we can start,you know, surrounding ourselves
(22:44):
with people that we see howthey family or how they parent,
we're like, wow, that's reallycool, I want to learn from them,
let me be connected and befriends with them, whether
that's from your church or fromyour, you know, social group or
whatever the case is.
Technology makes it very easyfor us to be in connection with
other people.
(23:04):
That way, then we can have thespace and the time to establish
intimate bonds that then canprovide us a resource later on
when we have a new child in thepicture.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Having that village and that community and support
is also so important when you'regoing through the process of
labor and delivering your child.
Many years ago I had a patientshe was young, a teenager.
Her partner wasn't involved andmy patient's mother and her
(23:41):
father were by her side theentire time and I can remember
colleagues saying the father'sthere that's so weird, but it
was beautiful because he wassupporting his daughter in an
appropriate, respectful mannerand when the baby was born, when
(24:02):
the birth happened, it was thecreation of a new family and it
was beautiful.
So, regardless of where you canfind your support, if it makes
you feel safe, have those peoplewith you on your labor and
delivery journey, also Talkingabout, while you're pregnant and
(24:22):
with your partner, aboutparenting, the philosophy of
parenting, the dynamics ofparenting.
I'm going to circle back to whenI was pregnant and thinking
about me and my partner.
We come from two totallydifferent cultures and we never
really sat down and had aconversation while I was
(24:45):
pregnant about how parentingstyles look for us and that
parenting styles that we grew upin and kind of like weaving it
(25:10):
together that worked for us, butsomething that might have
surprised me or kind of caughtme off guard, or maybe I wasn't
a hundred percent okay with it.
I knew that it was coming froma loving and safe space With
your patients.
Do you ever counsel couples totalk about parenting philosophy,
(25:32):
parenting dynamics during theprenatal phase?
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Absolutely Ideally, I feel like I don't do enough
pre-conception appointments,meaning clients seeking out my
expertise and wisdom before theyget pregnant, because these are
conversations that canabsolutely be had at that point,
which then means there's somuch more clarity once we've
(25:59):
conceived a baby and we'repregnant with the baby.
But at any point, you know,before, during and after the
baby is born, theseconversations, you know, still
need to take place, especially,you know, and even if people
come from similar culturalbackgrounds or whatever the case
is, you know, when weunderstand our own personal and
(26:24):
family background and we can'tjust assume that everyone else's
family or personal ideologiesoperate the same when we have
that understanding and we thencome together in a way that
allows for this discussion, thenthat, I find, reduces a lot of
(26:46):
relational strain which can leadto other complications in the
relationship, which then hasripple effects into the rearing
of that child altogether.
I came from a family backgroundwhere part of how you
discipline is spanking and partof how you express love is, you
(27:09):
know, done a certain way asopposed to another culture, is
this more, maybe, words ofaffirmation and affection, and
so when we have theseconversations of like, oh, just
wondering if our child didsomething that needs correcting,
what do you think would be theappropriate response?
Okay, cool, that's interesting.
(27:30):
Why do you think that is?
And then you can share yourthoughts and back and forth.
That can reduce then an in themoment, you know, issue or
argument which then can havenegative impacts on the kid.
Because research shows that,like, children are extremely
sensitive and part of the stressis for their environment, which
(27:53):
can actually disrupt theirdevelopment.
And when I say disruptdevelopment, I'm talking about
being able to have healthysocial connections, being able
to learn and retain information,because their brain is not
developing, because they're infear response as opposed to open
and loving and connected.
All these things we can affectthis degree of that by having
(28:17):
these conversations ahead oftime, which then just allows us
to go deeper in partnership andmeeting each other where each
other is at.
I've seen in the prenatal roomand even the delivery and even
postpartum, when I do homevisits, the clashing of some of
these issues or ideologies whichyou're only just doing what you
(28:40):
think is right, but withoutthese conversations you're
seeing how they couldpotentially clash or impact.
Now it's kind of like a crashcourse learning with the baby as
opposed to a crash course,learning with each other when
the stakes are low, and thesethings can ultimately either
continue to pass onintergenerational trauma, or
(29:05):
this is how we can heal andnavigate, you know, through
potential trauma dynamics andnot repeat the past, having
these conversations not just onour philosophies but also, you
know, like our relationalhistory, some of us may have
(29:28):
more of an avoidant attachmentstyle or more of an anxious
attachment style, and you know,attachment theory is large, 100%
based on what were the, whatwere your early attachments to
your caregivers, typically yourparents, right, these were the
(29:48):
first humans you've ever evenhad any relationship with, which
then creates the foundation forunderstanding how humans work
and how humans relate.
So when we see that that's justlike, each and every one of us
are not exempt from that, if wedon't factor that understanding
(30:10):
in, then we're doomed to repeatthat same relational dynamic,
which then will likely produce achild who will have some type
of emotional instability or havethese different responses,
similar to both the parents,because that's not something
that we then were able to growand expand upon.
(30:33):
So early conversations,especially pre-conceptionally,
can help these expansions happenand minimize, if anything, you
know, eliminate, you know, thenthe passing on of the trauma to
the child, who is just a sponge.
They're just taking oninformation and they can feel
(30:59):
parents, dysregulation, what wethink and feel and what we want
to do about that can be verytriggering, especially if you
don't come from a securelyattached, you know background
where it's easy to have thoseconversations.
So, yeah, early conversationsis super important, which then
means you know when you havethese conversations and you're
(31:23):
also in connection with avillage or community you have.
Additional became popularizedin the early 1900s, so that goes
(31:51):
to show you that that's been amore early development in how
humans relation with each other,but not necessarily the best
way that humans have been ableto relationship with each other,
which has an older, olderhistory that includes way more
individuals than just you knowmom, dad, baby.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
This is a good segue into the next topic that we
wanted to discuss Wellness,personal, family wellness, your
mind, your body and your spirit.
How often do you find that yourpatients going into the
preconception phase?
Think about family medicalhistory, genetics, epigenetics.
(32:44):
Think about family medicalhistory, genetics, epigenetics.
How often do you think that isintegrated into the perinatal
phase of pregnancy?
Speaker 2 (32:54):
I think it's not integrated enough.
But from my standpoint, thefirst point of contact for many
people is usually that initialappointment, that first
appointment where they're seeinga provider whether it's a
midwife or an OB and they'refilling out all their health
history information about, like,oh, do you have any of these
(33:15):
medical conditions, do you haveany of these social conditions,
do you have any of these?
Going on and on and on.
And part of that is a genetichistory, meaning like who in
your family has hypertension,who in your family has mental
health disorders?
And so on and so forth.
Sometimes people show up tothat appointment not knowing
(33:37):
many parts of that of themselves.
You know pieces of what they'remade of in essence, and so
sometimes that's due to being,you know, adopted or having some
type of situation or death inthe family.
But if we are able to gleanthese pieces of information
(34:01):
before we even get pregnant,then that allows us to actually
start making the either changeswe need or the supplementation
to whatever our needs are inorder to mitigate some of these
issues.
So genetics, really, it's theblueprint of the makeup of
(34:22):
everything that we are.
It's the blueprint of themakeup of everything that we are
, but how our genetics areexpressed is largely attributed
to the environment that we're inand also the way we relation
with each other.
And when we have that awarenessbefore we even conceive, then
we can like, let's say, somekind of genetic disorder that
(34:47):
has an issue with how wemetabolize.
You know food supplements,various things like that.
Here's an example like MTHFR.
You know, like understanding,oh yeah, my mom has this or my
dad has this or this or that.
Then you know, before evengetting pregnant, okay, so I
want to take these particulartype of supplements so that my
body is able to actually absorbthem, which then means when I
(35:10):
conceive a baby, the baby'sactually able to get the
nutrients they need, which thenmeans I'm reducing the
likelihood of having a you know,malformation or a miscarriage
or this or that, because I knew,going into this, what factors
are a play in my genetics.
So that would be an example oflike why that piece of
(35:32):
information is important.
Another one would be you know,it seems like in on my mother's
side.
You know, breast cancer.
You know, my aunt had it, mygreat grandma had it, my grandma
had it.
Okay, what were some of theconditions surrounding that?
None of them breastfed.
Okay, well, what's theinformation about breastfeeding?
We see that it has a hugedecrease in the occurrence of
(35:56):
breast cancer, maybe despite thefact that my family did not
breastfeed.
Maybe that would be a really,really important decision for me
, increasing all these healthbenefits for my baby, and so on
and so forth.
So all of these things are aconscious way of navigating
having a baby as opposed to.
(36:17):
Oh, I had no idea, and now we'reliterally walking in the same
steps or having the same healthoutcomes as our family.
Genetics really kind of holdslike a 10% probability of how
things will come out for you,and the rest of the 90% is what
you do with that genetics andwhat's the environment you live
(36:38):
in regarding those genetics, andthat, then, is what shapes
epigenetics, which is a word foron top of your genetics, and
that, then, is what shapesepigenetics, which is a word for
on top of your genetics.
So we can understand, like, oh,this outcome from this family
member who had this particularlifestyle, if you literally
don't do that lifestyle despitethe fact that you have the same
(37:02):
genetics as them.
Now you have 90% of thatoutcome in your control because
you're simply living differentand doing different, and there's
no way that we can have thisinformation if we're not having
these conversations, and so thatgoes into the village of being
able to mine for information andmine other families for
(37:27):
information and what they didabout it and how they navigate
it, and this is then how webuild upon it and be able to do
best practices for betteroutcomes.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
One of the things that I don't find that is very
integrant into the communityright now is just talking about
anything that has to do reallywith the reproductive system
knowing our own anatomy, sharingour birth stories.
How important do you think itis for us to start integrating
(38:01):
the knowledge of our own anatomy, of what birth really looks
like, our birth stories,postpartum back into our daily
conversations, not only withourselves but with the youth in
our children?
Speaker 2 (38:18):
I think that is absolutely integral.
I would say a good metaphor forthat would be like passing on
generational wealth, as opposedto now that being who's thinking
about having a child, or who isnow pregnant with a child,
having to start on a zero bankaccount and they don't have the
(38:42):
previous foundation to stand on.
Can you make it happen?
Sure, but I truly, truly dobelieve we're at a time in our
humanity where it is not goodenough to survive anymore.
It's time for us to thrive.
When we live in the mode ofsurvival, which is what you in
(39:05):
essence have to do, when you'restarting from ground zero, you
have to establish like a roofover your head of this or that,
and you're taking in all thesethings to be able to then just
be able to be right, thenthere's so much opportunity
that's missed for thepotentiality of how much more
incredible the human growthspectrum can be.
(39:29):
And so having conversationswith our elders, ourselves, each
other in our same age group andthe children that come up after
us is part of that generationalwealth that we can pass on, and
so many of us.
And, frankly, when you thinkabout humanity and how we got to
(39:51):
this point, every single aspectof our human survival, and the
reality we live in is based onthe foundation of the survival,
and the reality of the in isbased on the foundation of the
survival and the reality of thepeople that had to live before
us.
That's why we literally areable to flip on a light switch
and we have light, because onceupon a time, someone invented a
(40:14):
light bulb and then, from there,someone was able to manufacture
them on a large scale, and then, from there, we had lamps, and
then, from there, we have storesthat were able to sell and pass
them on, so much so that now itwould be weird for there to be
a place that's sufficiently lit.
Okay, so having these kind ofconversations is kind of that
(40:37):
same thought process.
I know that I feel as though, ifI grew up in these type of
conversations and having thisawareness, then it wouldn't be
after the fact, after sufferingwith, you know, maternal mental
health issues, you know, afterstruggling with breastfeeding
issues, after struggling withall these things, and then
(40:59):
realizing like, oh, wow, how'd Iknow?
So having the information andthe knowledge, then literally
it's like money in your bankaccount because now you are able
to better choose.
Actually, I'm going to do thisinstead, because I see that the
outcomes are better, and I alsowant to make sure that you know
(41:25):
this particular health issuethat my mother went through when
having me, or my aunt wentthrough when having my cousins.
I don't want to have, and youcannot at all navigate these
potential options that you haveavailable to you without any of
the prior knowledge, without anyof the prior conversation.
(41:45):
And how do you haveconversations?
You have to have relationships.
How do you have relationships?
You have to have a village, andbefore all of that, you know,
you ultimately have to thenweigh in for yourself what it is
that you're doing andenvisioning for your life period
, so then you can thereby findthe information you need.
(42:06):
So I think the biggestimportant takeaway is how do we
want a mother like?
if you actually think about thatbefore we even get pregnant,
then that sets us on a rabbithole for well.
I know how I was mothered andthese are some of the things I
know I don't want to do.
Let me talk to my mom and seewhat was going on for her.
(42:29):
Oh, wow, she was really, reallystressed because finances were
an issue.
Oh, she was really reallystressed because, you know, she
didn't have the village supportshe needed.
These particular healthoutcomes keep happening in my
family line, family after familymember after family member.
I'm saying it's because theydidn't have whatever, whatever,
whatever.
So now, when we can see wherethe deficiencies lie, then we
(42:54):
can, on purpose, supplement andreinforce those aspects for
ourselves, because we for sureknow what we don't want to do.
That's one of the beautifulthings about generations is
looking back in the past andfrankly, that's what we've done
as humans all together.
Back in the day, we used totell women to smoke cigarettes
(43:17):
and to drink alcohol and it wasactually information passed on
by the Surgeon General for thewhole entire United States
Because at that time, thephilosophy and the understanding
was your babies will be smaller.
Why is it important that theywant the baby smaller?
That was because they wouldactually put women under
(43:37):
twilight sleep and they wouldpull the babies out of them.
That would be very hard to doif the babies were larger.
You see what I'm saying.
But now that evidence isshowing more information about,
actually that has a whole slewof bad outcomes for mom and for
baby, and this is why this is nolonger the standard, Now that
(43:58):
we know better.
No doctor, no midwife, noanybody today would actively say
this as a pro-health tip, eventhough it used to be able to
have the awareness of what hashappened.
So you can make differentchoices and the only way you can
(44:29):
do that is to ask questions,and you can still ask questions,
you know, while pregnant.
But I think the path ofmotherhood can be one that can
be more, so much more enjoyableand so much more soul fulfilling
and less of a like quoteunquote sacrifice.
(44:53):
You know I, I really would liketo see a different, a different
way we identify with motherhoodthan what we identify today.
So it is no secret that thehuman population, I don't want
to say is on a decline, becausewe're still having more humans,
but on average for people whoare having babies, meaning there
(45:18):
are now becoming more and morepeople not having babies.
On average people having babies, we're having like 1.2 babies
per family structure, pernuclear family or per
reproductive pair, you know.
And then we are having peoplethat are like from the time that
(45:40):
they're teenagers and whatthey're doing is they're
watching society, they'rewatching their moms, they're
watching all of that and seeingthe problems and issues.
And so now you know some of thestudies out there that they've
done children who are now inchildbearing years or age.
Their perception of having morechildren is that you have to
(46:05):
sacrifice yourself your mentalhealth, you get put back
financially.
It largely is kind of thisnegative idea and that's because
of how we've been doingmotherhood and how we've
culturally and societally put iton the separate little island,
(46:26):
which then means people have tonavigate, you know medical leave
and all these other things, soso it just makes it harder and
the whole basis of us being onthis planet is because we
procreate.
So it's like we then need to dobetter with the system of
procreating if we want to thenhave a healthy continuation of
(46:50):
humans coming out into the world, which you know is kind of this
like chicken or the eggphilosophy.
You know which one needs to comefirst, which one's more
important, and I feel that it ishaving open conversations and
creating a more transparent andopenness where motherhood exists
(47:10):
in our culture and society,just like anything and
everything else, so that it hasthe proper blood flow,
circulation that it needs tothrive, which then decreases the
level of sacrifice or the levelof risk or the level of like.
(47:30):
You know how much people end upsuffering because we have it
completely cut off and isolated.
And when we can, you know, havea better integration in that
sense, then I think thenarrative will now change in
terms of you know, we're notafraid of having babies Now.
We're excited about havingbabies Now.
(47:53):
You know, having a child is notsomething that people look at
as largely ruining your life, orone that you have to put your
life on hold look at as largelyruining your life or one that
you have to put your life onhold.
It's just a part of life, whileyou get to still do life,
because you're not secluded frombeing able to continue to be a
part of life and everyday living.
Speaker 1 (48:30):
One of the things I want to talk to you about the
vision that women have whenthey're pregnant and for their
birth.
We all have this idea of how wewant the birth to go, how we
want labor to go.
So many times I have patientscoming to me and, whether
verbally or on paper, they'reexpressing the kind of care that
they want to receive for theirlabor, for their induction, for
(48:54):
their birth.
So frequently I'll hear that mypatient is seeking midwifery
care, but they have hired an OBor MFM to be their birth
provider.
So what they're seeking and whothey've hired to be their birth
(49:14):
provider, it's two entirelydifferent things, different
things.
You, as a midwife, I would lovefor you to share with our
listeners because you know themidwifery model, and for women
(49:35):
who are seeking the midwiferymodel of care, why should they
prioritize having a midwife fortheir labor and delivery?
Speaker 2 (49:43):
Yeah, so this goes, you know circles, right back to
this topic that we're having inthis first series, which is
having these preconceptionconversations, because more
people, I truly believe, wouldactually find themselves wanting
to book with the midwife thanwith the MFM or an OB, and part
(50:07):
of how they get into this is,you know, the sometimes they'll
say, oh, my mom said she had tohave this infection and she had
to have this and that.
Or you know, people are tellingme that, and this is before
they even get pregnant,sometimes that X, y, z is going
to happen to me, so I just needto go this route.
(50:29):
And so it comes out from a lackof conversations and knowledge
and understanding what optionsare even out.
There.
There's an idea of we wantsupport and we want empowerment
while we're birthing, but whatwe see reflected to us and what
we're being told to us by thepeople around us is it's through
(50:51):
this route, through an OB,through an MFM, and so then
they're not fully understandingor aware as to what are the
different modalities that thesedifferent practices even can
provide for you.
So if, before even gettingpregnant, you know like what are
(51:12):
the different provider typesthat are, what are the different
modalities that are containedwithin them, that are contained
within them.
Then you're able to activelychoose.
Oh, I want this right, versusfinding yourself after the fact
(51:35):
being like I wish I had you know.
So those situations I findhappen out of lack of knowledge
or information, because from theget go, what was presented to
them is that these are, this isthe way that you do it and
that's what we see reflected insociety is that about 90% of the
births that are happening inour country happen in a hospital
.
And then who are thoseproviders in the hospital?
(51:58):
Largely OBs and maternal fetalmedicine and a very small
percentage of midwives.
This backwards thing, and so alot of the clients that I see
for their second and thirdpregnancies, is because they had
an outcome or they had a typeof birth with the provider.
(52:20):
That's not what they wantedfrom the, from the get-go, but
they weren't armed with theprovider.
That's not what they wantedfrom the get-go, but they
weren't armed with theinformation of how to get what
they want and needed in thefirst place.
So first things first.
You know at any point of thepregnancy whether you know you
haven't conceived yet or if nowyou find yourself, you know,
with that positive pregnancytest, is what are the different
(52:41):
provider types that you have inyour area and the different
provider types that are out?
There are midwives.
Many states have midwives.
Some of them are registered,licensed or whatever the case is
.
Some places have traditionalmidwives and then there's nurse
midwives and then there's an OBand then a perinatologist, or
(53:06):
also known as maternal fieldmedicine, when you understand
the scope of practice for eachone.
So now, looking at pyramidmetaphor, the bottom of the
pyramid, which is the largestyou know surface area, let's say
, is where midwives are.
So midwives cover the scope ofcare of normal, healthy
(53:29):
developing pregnancy.
There's not any, you know, hugehealth issues going on.
Someone doesn't have, like, aheart condition and they're
seeing a cardiologist andthey're taking medicines and
they're having surgeries andthis and that.
Then you know it's like, oh,okay, well, I largely don't have
any health issues and I'mpretty low risk.
(53:51):
I want to be in this categoryand in this category I see the
benefits are I get moreinformation in terms of a
healthy developing pregnancy.
I get a longer one-on-oneappointment time.
I get more of a connected feelwith somebody who feels more
(54:12):
like a intimate family supportas opposed to something that
feels less personalized.
And then you are aware of thebenefits and the statistics that
come out with that providertype.
And then you go up to the nextprovider type.
You know like, oh, their scopeof care is they're able to take
care of people who have some,you know, health issues or this
(54:36):
or that, and these are theparticular benefits that come
out of that type of providertype and these are the
statistics that we see reflectedfor them.
So, no different than buying acar and how we look at what is
their crash rating, what istheir safety seatbelts, what is
their customer servicesatisfaction.
(54:57):
When we can look at all of thatand we're, in essence, reading
the reviews before we buy itwe're more likely to be happy
and satisfied with our purchaseat the end because we got the
thing that we actually needed,as opposed to what was presented
to us is you have just oneoption and then you went with
(55:18):
that option, only to realizethat wasn't the fit for you.
Many people have actually, youknow, found midwifery care
because of the village thatthey're in or because of the
connections that they have intheir community Meaning in
church.
They see so-and-so having babynumber five and she had four of
(55:41):
her babies with the midwife.
Now that's in their realm ofreality that a midwife-free care
is even an option.
And so they start to have aconversation and then they see,
wow, she had a great outcome.
She had the baby at home.
She said it was so comfortable.
You know, x, y, z happened toher.
She had all these thingsavailable to her.
That looks kind of good.
(56:02):
That looks like something Iwant to do.
I talked to so-and-so.
They said that they had thisparticular birth outcome that
they weren't able to eat andthey had to have all these rules
and regulations and all thesethings.
And I don't know.
That doesn't quite feel likesomething I want to do.
So you can absolutely be able tonavigate your situation better
(56:26):
the more information you have.
But if you don't have that oryou're not having conversations
with other people that arehaving babies, you can't know
what your options are really.
But there is a lot of researchout there that you can do and
sometimes at least get a kind oflike a review, just like a
product review, you know, online, and just look at different
(56:50):
outcomes and probabilities andwhat are some things that are
required for that type of thing,and then you can choose okay,
this fits better for mysituation, what I have going on
with my health and so on and soforth, which then means you have
to have all the other previousawarenesses built in, such as
(57:12):
you're aware of your geneticsand you're aware of your
personal wellness and where youare in life and I do have a
cardiac issue.
Maybe I need to make sure thatI'm with a provider that can
address that or I don't have anyhealth issues and I want this
type of thing, you know.
So it's.
It's such a dynamicconversation that is best served
(57:37):
when we're looking at all thepieces before we have a baby,
because then you're able to puttogether a nice custom little
package for yourself that isbased off of your wants and
needs, as opposed to a reactiveoh geez.
And then you have theexperience after the fact,
looking at it, being like, oh, Iwish X, y, z, and that's not as
(58:02):
fun.
You know, nobody wants to gothrough something and have more
regrets as opposed to a positiveexperience that had the things
that they wanted in the firstplace.
Speaker 1 (58:14):
All of these things that we're talking about today
circles back to us taking ourpower back in birth, going to be
at the hospital, understandinghow you and your partner want to
raise your child or yourchildren, understanding the
(58:46):
genetics, epigenetics all ofthis.
How you want to mother, that'ssuch a great question.
I don't think I ever sat downand thought about how I want to
mother.
I was thinking about I needthis and I need that and this is
what I need.
It was more of a materialisticunderstanding as opposed to who
(59:06):
and how I want to show up for mychild.
Speaker 2 (59:09):
That has been a North star for me, but I think it was
one that I discovered after Ihad a child as opposed to before
.
So my experience was very muchso similar to yours, which is,
you know, oh, the things that Ineed and support, that I need to
(59:30):
set up and that kind of thing,the logistics of, like, making
sure there's room for the headand making sure that there's
food in the bellies.
But since then, and also seeingthe difference between the
types of motherhood, that I'mlike, oh my gosh, I look so good
.
Look at her.
(59:50):
She's glowing.
She doesn't have a care in theworld.
She's doing so good.
Oh, look at that baby, look atthat.
Whatever, like.
Those are the forms of motheringand motherhood we look at and
many of us desire, thinking thatthat's exactly what our
experience is going to be like.
But these things that we talkedabout today is actually part of
(01:00:14):
how you actually then bringthat envisioning into fruition,
which is why I thought it was soimportant that we talk about
these particular points, becausethat is the difference between
the two, the difference betweendoing it consciously and doing
it unconsciously, and also, Ithink, many women, every time we
(01:00:36):
have a child, we can understandhow to do it better.
You know what it is that didn'twork for us and navigate it
differently, which is where Irealized, like the power that
that's our power right there isfor me to choose and decide how
do I want to mother, what'sgoing to work for me, what's
(01:00:58):
going to help my baby thrive,what's going to help me feel
most at ease mentally, in mybody and in my spirit, where I
didn't know that those were evenoptions until after the fact.
And, you know, after goingthrough depression and anxiety
and all these things in my earlymothering, realizing that like
(01:01:22):
if I actually had and I knowthat that's not in alignment
with the way I want to motherthen I'm going to choose a
(01:01:43):
different option.
And so I feel that part of oneof the ways women can absolutely
stand in power and insovereignty is by having a
vision of that beforehand.
And so since then, I now haveasked myself that question and
(01:02:05):
that's my guidance for feelingout what works and what's not
working.
Because when I find that I'myelling or feeling exasperated,
or feeling stressed and Irealized, like I never wanted to
mother like this, like thisdoesn't feel good to me, this is
not the mom that I wanted to be, like, I don't want to be that
(01:02:27):
lady.
I want to be the one who's like, happy and excited to hold her
kid and to play with them.
And you know who feels excitedabout, you know, this growth in
my life and in this person'slife, because they're in it.
And then realizing like, ohgosh, okay, so if that's then
(01:02:49):
how I want to mother, then I'mseeing that this thing that I'm
navigating is not working for me, so I'm going to choose
something different.
I think that was a privilegethat many, many generations
before us did not get to have,and earlier in this conversation
that's what I was talking aboutin terms of I believe it is
beyond time now in our humanevolution to go from survival to
(01:03:13):
thriving, and the way we dothat is by having a conscious
idea of how we want to motherand choosing that, and of giving
ourselves the space and theauthority to have that, versus
having an external source saywhat we can and can't have,
(01:03:36):
regardless of if it's inalignment with what feels good
to us and I don't just meanfeels good, like in a frou-frou
way, like things that feel goodtend to be good for us too, you
know, mind, body and spirit.
And there is the key, that is,step number one, to truly
(01:04:00):
holding on to our power andmaking choices in alignment with
what serves that power, which,then, that serves the vision of
the mothers we want to be wewant to be.
Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
That's beautiful, that resonates deeply.
I think this message needs tobe heard.
Speaker 2 (01:04:25):
So thank you for saying that.
Yeah, thank you so much for theopportunity to get to say this.
I realized that this wholejourney has also birthed so many
aspects of the woman that I amtoday, right here, right now,
just by going through theprocess that I didn't
necessarily know or think orhave, which I realized like, oh
(01:04:47):
wow, this is why I feel calledto share it, because I'm sure
I'm not the only one who hasfelt, you know, scared or
traumatized from their birthexperience, or who have just
struggles about, like motherhoodand being beyond irritated and
annoyed and even angry.
(01:05:09):
And it's like when I was a kid,thinking about having a baby, my
thought process was waydifferent, like I thought it was
going to be way cooler.
So, you know, I now it's like,okay, let me put together you
know, experience andevidence-based information and
also just what I'm seeing in theclinical space with the
(01:05:32):
experience of hundreds andhundreds of other people, and
highlight the truth so that wecan then be able to all of us
harness that sovereign power tofeel happy and at ease and love
mothering and love having morebabies and hopefully culturally
(01:05:54):
change the narrative of, youknow, having a child ruins your
life and so on and so forth.
Like I feel that if we don'tmake a change soon, these kind
of things will be the undoing ofhumanity.
That's literally why we evenhave more humans is because
we're having them.
But if the narrative staysnegative, if we continue to keep
(01:06:15):
relinquishing our power, thenwe're just going to just not
exist anymore, because,unfortunately, we believed that
it was so bad that we justdidn't participate.
Speaker 1 (01:06:27):
Oh my gosh, I never even stopped to think like that.
Speaker 2 (01:06:29):
Correct, right.
But then there's thealternative of then forced
procreation.
You know where it's like.
That's not cool either.
So we have to absolutely takeour power back so that we have a
different way of doing humanityperiod.
Speaker 1 (01:06:47):
Where Midway, audrey is going to discuss conception,
preparing to conceive, creatinga space for a baby.
We will also discuss rainbowbabies, babies after a loss, and
that will be, for me, I'm sure,a heavy conversation.
We will get through it and itwill be a great conversation.
(01:07:08):
So we look forward to hearing.
We look forward to ourlisteners to hearing more.
Speaker 2 (01:07:15):
I'm excited to bring more Until next time, everyone.
Speaker 1 (01:07:33):
Thank you for listening.
Be sure to check out our socialmedia.
All links are provided in theepisode description.
We're excited to have you here.
Please give us a follow If youor someone you know would like
to be a guest on the show.
Reach out to us via email atinfo at maternalwealthcom.
And remember stay healthy,embrace your power and you got
(01:07:57):
this, thank you.
Welcome to the Maternal Wealth Podcast, a space
for all things related tomaternal health, pregnancy and
beyond.
I'm your host, stephanie Terrio.
I'm a labor and delivery nurseand a mother to three beautiful
boys.
Each week, we dive intoinspiring stories and expert
insights to remind us of thepower that you hold in
childbirth and motherhood.
We're here to explore the joys,the challenges and the
(00:33):
complexities of maternal health.
Every mother's journey isunique and every story deserves
to be told.
Please note that this podcastis for entertainment purposes
only.
It is not intended to replaceprofessional medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment.
Always consult with yourhealthcare provider for medical
guidance that is tailored toyour specific needs.
(00:54):
Are you ready?
Let's get into it.
Today we're going to switch itup a little bit.
I'm going to bring you back to2024, when I reached out to a
midwife in Florida named MidwifeAudrey.
(01:14):
I shared with her the missionof this podcast and she was
immediately interested injoining.
Over the months we hadconversations talking about how
can we return the conversationof what?
Pregnancy, conception,motherhood, birth, matri-science
(01:35):
all of these things in themainstream culture in this
country don't really get intoreally before we have children.
She came up with a four-partseries.
She goes into depth and almostpoetic symmetry about these
enlightening concepts that weneed to get back into our
(01:55):
mainstream conversations withour sisters, with our friends,
with our children, with ourgrandparents, about
understanding the transcendenceof our lives, of the lives of
women from childhood,adolescence, young adulthood,
motherhood and beyond.
Before we get into the firstseries, I want to introduce
(02:18):
midwife Audrey.
She was born and raised inFlorida and since the age of
four she knew she wanted to workwith pregnant people and babies
as a first-generation Americanthrough education.
Innovation, persistence andresilience were concepts
instilled in her by her Haitianparents.
In 2009, midwife Audreygraduated from Florida State
(02:42):
University, majoring in biologyand women's studies, with a
minor in chemistry andpsychology.
In 2012, she became a motherwith the birth of her son,
william.
He was born at 33 weeksprematurely due to preterm labor
via cesarean section.
Despite her good health,education, access to resources
(03:04):
in America, audrey's birthexperience was evidenced by
social determinants that she wasnot able to escape.
Her personal experiencecatalyzed her curiosity and her
need to better understandstructural and systemic racism
in America and how it affectspublic health and reproductive
(03:24):
disparities by birthing people,especially in the BIPOC
community, so she can createpositive social change.
In 2013, midwife Audreygraduated from the Florida
School of Traditional Midwiferyand has had the privilege of
supporting, educating andempowering hundreds of families
(03:45):
in Florida at home and birthcenters.
She's practiced midwiferyindependently and in group
settings across the state andfound that it is not sustainable
.
Those experiences ignited adrive in her to help improve the
workforce of out-of-hospitalmidwives to help improve the
(04:07):
workforce of out-of-hospitalmidwives, increase the number of
BIPOC birth providers anddecrease barriers of access to
midwifery care in Floridafamilies.
So in 2019, she decided to runfor presidency of the Midwives
Association in Florida and shewon, becoming Florida's first
Black president.
In her experience, she gainedleadership skills, legislative
experience with policy and billwriting.
(04:29):
In early 2020, audrey went onher first midwifery mission trip
to Cap-Aisien, haiti, to giveback to her dad's hometown.
Haiti has the highest maternalmorbidity and mortality in the
Western Hemisphere maternalmorbidity and mortality in the
Western Hemisphere and she sawfirsthand invaluable role that
(04:50):
community midwives play inproviding for families education
, support and healthcare.
As a mother and a midwife withover 10 years of clinical
experience, midwife Audrey hasgained essential knowledge of
critical components affectingmaternal health and wellness
knowledge of critical componentsaffecting maternal health and
wellness, healthcare systems andour global wellness at large.
(05:12):
She is passionate aboutimproving birth equity and its
positive global impacts throughincreased access to community
wellness by empowering communitymidwives.
One of Midwife Audrey'spersonal causes is to the Mother
Midwife Movement, a culturalawareness campaign aimed to
achieve family, community andglobal wellness by centering and
(05:34):
empowering mothers and midwivesthrough arts, storytelling,
leadership, research, education,advocacy and activism in
midwifery.
Her mission is to be a motherand a midwife in a new world
where tomorrow is a beautifulplace for everyone, regardless
of where they were born or wherethey live, because the quality
(05:56):
of every life matters.
When midwife Audrey and I weregoing back and forth about what
topics we should cover, this iswhat she wrote to me Can you
feel the shift?
Women, mothers and birthingpeople are eager for change and
ready to take their power back,ready to walk in their
sovereignty, ready to become thewise woman they were called to
(06:16):
be.
Yes, can you feel it?
I feel it every single day, Ifeel it at work, I feel it at
home, I feel it in the community.
We women are ready to take ourpower back.
We women are ready to walk insovereignty together.
I'm excited for this series.
I'm excited for her words, tospeak to you, to empower you so
(06:41):
that together we rise up andmove forward and take our power
back.
All of us, we welcome you andwe hope you join us for this
(07:02):
four-part series, a powerful,enlightening conversation that
will arm you with the knowledgeof your options about conscious
procreation, birth empowermentand family wellness, with myself
and midwife Audrey.
Welcome, audrey.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Thank you.
Thank you so much, Stephanie,for having me on your podcast.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Thank you so much for being here.
I'm excited for this four-partseries.
I'm excited to get intoconversation with you.
I think this is such a greatopportunity for us women
birthing people to take a seatand just listen and re-envision
what it means to be a woman,what it means to get into the
path of having children, thetransition into motherhood and
(07:51):
beyond.
I would love for you to take amoment and share with our
listeners more about who you areand why this message is so
important for yourself.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I am myself a mother.
I have my son, william, who isnow 12.
Since I was young, I always knewthat working in the field of
motherhood and and working withother mothers was for me.
However, the path as it'sunfolded has been one that I
(08:30):
either was taken by surprise orlearned about.
You know the experiences that Ihad after the fact, and so I see
that it is that much moreimportant, from a personal
perspective and also from asocietal, cultural perspective,
for us all to be able to shareour experiences and to share the
(08:55):
best, latest evidence-basedknowledge that's out there, so
that we can, I guess you can say, say set humanity up for our
best expressed selves as amother myself and going through
the experience of pregnancy andthen trying to, you know,
(09:19):
conceive another baby, and alsofrom the clinical practice of
being a midwife baby, and alsofrom the clinical practice of
being a midwife, there's so muchinformation that I did not know
until after the fact, and Ifind repeatedly that there's
still a lot of information thatmany of the people that have
(09:39):
served as their midwife and justpeople that I speak to on a
day-to-day basis out on thestreet, there's just so much
that's not known or understoodabout our bodies or about our
options, or about or having thespace to even share our
experiences and stories and seeourselves reflected, and that
(10:02):
tends to create a level ofisolation and wondering is it
just me, am I normal, am I weird?
And these are just things that Ifeel like, in this day and age,
doesn't have to be the case,which is why it's so incredible
that, with the use of technologyand being able to reach out and
(10:23):
have conversations with peoplelike you on your platform, that
we can bridge that gap andcreate a resource for other
people out there who areconsidering starting a family or
who have already started theirfamilies, to be able to attain
more information that helpstruly empower us and helps to,
(10:46):
in essence, allow us to be thebest versions of ourselves.
That then brings forth, youknow, a greater capacity of
humanity that is compassionate,loving and kind, which
ultimately will just transformthe world, in my opinion, which
ultimately will just transformthe world.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
In my opinion, going off of what you're saying, I
agree with you 100%.
I believe we all, everyonewants this right.
We want to go into having apartner, creating a family, and
procreate and contribute to theworld, make a better place.
And from my perspective as alabor and delivery nurse seeing
(11:28):
my patients primarily I work inthe hospital there's been this
shift where the empowerment wegive it to somebody else, for
example, the birth provider,this conversation, what I'm
trying to do is to bring thatpower back to you, to us, and
make it more of a commonality.
Yes, we need birth providers tohelp us and to care for us, but
(11:51):
ultimately we hold the power.
That journey should be madetogether as opposed to just
handing our power over tosomebody else.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Absolutely 100% agree .
Speaker 1 (12:01):
You use this term conscious procreation.
I love it.
Could you share with me alittle bit about what that means
to you?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Yeah, I think that growing up and seeing people
have babies, it was an acceptedthought process like, oh, you
get married and you have a baby,like that was the entirety of
the idea of having more humanswas just like.
(12:37):
You know, we even have in thatnursery rhyme song, so and so
and so and so kissing in a tree.
First come love, then comesmarriage, then comes baby in a
baby carriage, and so that'sjust a cultural like.
One of the popularized culturalideas is that you get married,
you have a baby.
We also have the other, whereyou are in a relationship,
(12:58):
whether it's committed or not,and you can also still have a
baby.
But the idea of having a babyis something that's happening to
you as opposed to one that youintentionally have put thought
into it prior to, which has twocompletely different results,
(13:18):
especially from a clinicalperspective.
As a midwife, I see thedifferent potentialities of how
pregnancy can develop, but I'vealso, you know, have looked at
the evidence and the researchabout when people are, you know,
established and they are wellinformed about their options and
they go into conceiving withthat place of empowerment, as
(13:43):
opposed to oh, oh, wow, it's asurprise.
Now we're pregnant with nothought about where we are in
life or what preparations orthings we might need, or just
what does this journey evenentail?
It seems like in our society,motherhood is something that is
(14:03):
like this separate island thatwe have to navigate within, like
the bigger interworkings ofsociety itself.
And so, when it comes toconscious procreation, that term
comes out of an intentionalthought process and envisioning
(14:24):
of what it is we want or notwant, because, you know, frankly
, children are kind of thiswhole, like this bouquet of so
many unexpected things.
But when we consciously envisionwhat it is that we need, what
is going on with ourselves, ourphysicality, our body, our
(14:45):
relationship status and all ofthose things, then having a baby
consciously has a muchdifferent feel, or even
unfolding, kind of like anaccidental garden where it's
like, oh yeah, I threw a tomatoout there and it just took root
and it's growing, and it's just,you know this wild garden.
Or it's like, oh yeah, I threw atomato out there and it just
took root and it's growing, andit's just, you know this wild
(15:07):
garden.
Or it's a garden that'sintentionally planted.
You plant the plant where youknow it's going to be able to
thrive the best because there'sthe most sun or resources or the
things that that particularplant needs.
Those are two completelydifferent modalities, which then
produces different types ofquality crop.
(15:27):
One may have, like, plants thatare struggling and not doing as
well, and one has plants thatare thriving, because you
understand what it needs andyou're putting it where it needs
to be.
So that's kind of the metaphorfor unconscious procreation
versus conscious procreation.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
We paused this episode for a quick message from
our sponsor.
At Maternal Wealth.
We aim to ensure that you haveaccess to the best and the most
appropriate care.
That's why we created amaternal healthcare provider
database.
Maternal health providers caneasily create profiles to
(16:11):
promote their services andexciting way for women to search
for and find maternal healthproviders near them and tailored
to their specific needs.
Profiles feature badges thathighlight various services, such
(16:39):
as TODAC-friendly practices,all-female practices, lgbtqai
plus inclusivity, languageoptions, access to.
In this course, I discuss thevariations that exist in
hospital practices based onpolicies, staffing and budgets,
all of which can directly affectyour birth experience and
outcome.
We've all heard the term ittakes a village to raise your
child.
For those of us who are goinginto motherhood, I think we
(17:08):
don't really understand exactlywhat that village is until we
get to the other side.
How can we help women who aregoing into their first pregnancy
, going into motherhood for thefirst time, set themselves up to
have that village ready forthem when they need it?
Speaker 2 (17:28):
So just a little background, right?
I think sometimes we've heardthis term but seldomly
understand the implications andthe importance of this term, and
I'm that I was definitely oneof those people like, oh, yeah,
yeah, yeah, uh, huh, sure, like,in my mind's eye, the thought
(17:49):
process of oh, that's when youhave way more babies, you need
more, way more support.
And so I came from this ideathat, like, if I am a, like, I'm
capable of taking care ofmyself, paying my own bills and,
you know, owning my own things,and so motherhood, and that
(18:13):
idea was very much so inalignment with that.
And so I didn't do preparationor even think that I would need
additional like support.
I thought to myself like, ohyeah, sure, I'll join a mom's
group or something like that.
And it wasn't until after thefact, going through my own
experiences and then seeing theexperiences of the clients that
(18:35):
I've served, like, oh my gosh,this is a pearl of wisdom for
humanity period.
And now you know if I were ableto do it differently, I think,
seeking out groups with otherwomen and other people around
that have shared values, thatare actively growing their
families.
(18:55):
There's so much that I couldhave learned and also there's so
much resources that I couldhave mined through the
connection that I had with them,resources that I could have
mined through the connectionthat I had with them.
And so the village mentality.
Sometimes we tend to just kindof assume like, oh yeah, I have
a family, so sure, like my momor my aunt or my sister, you
(19:17):
know, that's just built in, andsometimes for some families
they're absolutely blessed withthose types of connections and
that is the extended villagethat that baby is raised in.
But really I think it'simportant to intentionally allow
ourselves to be connected inlike-minded groups and so that
(19:40):
we can be able to have otherpeople to turn to and ask
questions.
Should we be in that similarrealm?
I remember I didn't haveanybody to turn to, really ask
or consider like, is this normal?
Did you go through this?
Is this a thing?
And so that it was very much sokind of like my own
internalized experience, eventhough I was in midwifery school
(20:05):
and serving clients.
I realized that that I guess ispart of maybe the American
culture is that theseconversations are not open and
if you do have them, they'revery hush, hush to like one on
one, like almost secretive, likehey, so this thing's happening
Like did it happen to you too?
(20:26):
Now, looking back, I'm like, ohwow, that's one of those things
that through how we hold spacefor each other which is what a
village really really does wecan change the culture of what
is acceptable and how we show upfor other people, including
birthing people.
As mothers and birthing people,we were never intended to do
(20:50):
this alone.
And when we look at theevolutionary process of having
more humans and we look at theevidence that supports what
actually helps produce ahealthier family, you know,
foundation in general is thatfamily is then supported by
other integral family members,and those integral family
(21:13):
members are also supported bycommunity members, kind of like
a rose petal not even a rosepetal, but a rose itself, where
the very, very center of it is,you know, the baby coming from
the mother and then the motherbeing surrounded by additional
petals of the immediate family,and then the immediate family is
(21:34):
supported by so on and so forth.
You see what I mean.
That right there.
I'm like, oh my gosh.
Community support, familysupport that is now something I
counsel clients about prenatally, because I see it makes a huge
difference in the degree ofmaternal mental health issues
(21:57):
and also societal issues thatthen can impact their health.
And so you know, when youalready are with child or now,
let's say, you're holding thebaby in your hand it's a little
bit harder to at that point, beable to then establish
connections with someone new andthen be able to build the trust
(22:19):
that's needed to ask themsomething like oh can you come
over and help me out with mydishes, or help me with my kid,
or, or I'm having a tough time,I just need someone to talk to.
You know, like at that pointwe're already in the need with a
very limited capacity to thenservice that need.
I believe that if we can start,you know, surrounding ourselves
(22:44):
with people that we see howthey family or how they parent,
we're like, wow, that's reallycool, I want to learn from them,
let me be connected and befriends with them, whether
that's from your church or fromyour, you know, social group or
whatever the case is.
Technology makes it very easyfor us to be in connection with
other people.
(23:04):
That way, then we can have thespace and the time to establish
intimate bonds that then canprovide us a resource later on
when we have a new child in thepicture.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Having that village and that community and support
is also so important when you'regoing through the process of
labor and delivering your child.
Many years ago I had a patientshe was young, a teenager.
Her partner wasn't involved andmy patient's mother and her
(23:41):
father were by her side theentire time and I can remember
colleagues saying the father'sthere that's so weird, but it
was beautiful because he wassupporting his daughter in an
appropriate, respectful mannerand when the baby was born, when
(24:02):
the birth happened, it was thecreation of a new family and it
was beautiful.
So, regardless of where you canfind your support, if it makes
you feel safe, have those peoplewith you on your labor and
delivery journey, also Talkingabout, while you're pregnant and
(24:22):
with your partner, aboutparenting, the philosophy of
parenting, the dynamics ofparenting.
I'm going to circle back to whenI was pregnant and thinking
about me and my partner.
We come from two totallydifferent cultures and we never
really sat down and had aconversation while I was
(24:45):
pregnant about how parentingstyles look for us and that
parenting styles that we grew upin and kind of like weaving it
(25:10):
together that worked for us, butsomething that might have
surprised me or kind of caughtme off guard, or maybe I wasn't
a hundred percent okay with it.
I knew that it was coming froma loving and safe space With
your patients.
Do you ever counsel couples totalk about parenting philosophy,
(25:32):
parenting dynamics during theprenatal phase?
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Absolutely Ideally, I feel like I don't do enough
pre-conception appointments,meaning clients seeking out my
expertise and wisdom before theyget pregnant, because these are
conversations that canabsolutely be had at that point,
which then means there's somuch more clarity once we've
(25:59):
conceived a baby and we'repregnant with the baby.
But at any point, you know,before, during and after the
baby is born, theseconversations, you know, still
need to take place, especially,you know, and even if people
come from similar culturalbackgrounds or whatever the case
is, you know, when weunderstand our own personal and
(26:24):
family background and we can'tjust assume that everyone else's
family or personal ideologiesoperate the same when we have
that understanding and we thencome together in a way that
allows for this discussion, thenthat, I find, reduces a lot of
(26:46):
relational strain which can leadto other complications in the
relationship, which then hasripple effects into the rearing
of that child altogether.
I came from a family backgroundwhere part of how you
discipline is spanking and partof how you express love is, you
(27:09):
know, done a certain way asopposed to another culture, is
this more, maybe, words ofaffirmation and affection, and
so when we have theseconversations of like, oh, just
wondering if our child didsomething that needs correcting,
what do you think would be theappropriate response?
Okay, cool, that's interesting.
(27:30):
Why do you think that is?
And then you can share yourthoughts and back and forth.
That can reduce then an in themoment, you know, issue or
argument which then can havenegative impacts on the kid.
Because research shows that,like, children are extremely
sensitive and part of the stressis for their environment, which
(27:53):
can actually disrupt theirdevelopment.
And when I say disruptdevelopment, I'm talking about
being able to have healthysocial connections, being able
to learn and retain information,because their brain is not
developing, because they're infear response as opposed to open
and loving and connected.
All these things we can affectthis degree of that by having
(28:17):
these conversations ahead oftime, which then just allows us
to go deeper in partnership andmeeting each other where each
other is at.
I've seen in the prenatal roomand even the delivery and even
postpartum, when I do homevisits, the clashing of some of
these issues or ideologies whichyou're only just doing what you
(28:40):
think is right, but withoutthese conversations you're
seeing how they couldpotentially clash or impact.
Now it's kind of like a crashcourse learning with the baby as
opposed to a crash course,learning with each other when
the stakes are low, and thesethings can ultimately either
continue to pass onintergenerational trauma, or
(29:05):
this is how we can heal andnavigate, you know, through
potential trauma dynamics andnot repeat the past, having
these conversations not just onour philosophies but also, you
know, like our relationalhistory, some of us may have
(29:28):
more of an avoidant attachmentstyle or more of an anxious
attachment style, and you know,attachment theory is large, 100%
based on what were the, whatwere your early attachments to
your caregivers, typically yourparents, right, these were the
(29:48):
first humans you've ever evenhad any relationship with, which
then creates the foundation forunderstanding how humans work
and how humans relate.
So when we see that that's justlike, each and every one of us
are not exempt from that, if wedon't factor that understanding
(30:10):
in, then we're doomed to repeatthat same relational dynamic,
which then will likely produce achild who will have some type
of emotional instability or havethese different responses,
similar to both the parents,because that's not something
that we then were able to growand expand upon.
(30:33):
So early conversations,especially pre-conceptionally,
can help these expansions happenand minimize, if anything, you
know, eliminate, you know, thenthe passing on of the trauma to
the child, who is just a sponge.
They're just taking oninformation and they can feel
(30:59):
parents, dysregulation, what wethink and feel and what we want
to do about that can be verytriggering, especially if you
don't come from a securelyattached, you know background
where it's easy to have thoseconversations.
So, yeah, early conversationsis super important, which then
means you know when you havethese conversations and you're
(31:23):
also in connection with avillage or community you have.
Additional became popularizedin the early 1900s, so that goes
(31:51):
to show you that that's been amore early development in how
humans relation with each other,but not necessarily the best
way that humans have been ableto relationship with each other,
which has an older, olderhistory that includes way more
individuals than just you knowmom, dad, baby.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
This is a good segue into the next topic that we
wanted to discuss Wellness,personal, family wellness, your
mind, your body and your spirit.
How often do you find that yourpatients going into the
preconception phase?
Think about family medicalhistory, genetics, epigenetics.
(32:44):
Think about family medicalhistory, genetics, epigenetics.
How often do you think that isintegrated into the perinatal
phase of pregnancy?
Speaker 2 (32:54):
I think it's not integrated enough.
But from my standpoint, thefirst point of contact for many
people is usually that initialappointment, that first
appointment where they're seeinga provider whether it's a
midwife or an OB and they'refilling out all their health
history information about, like,oh, do you have any of these
(33:15):
medical conditions, do you haveany of these social conditions,
do you have any of these?
Going on and on and on.
And part of that is a genetichistory, meaning like who in
your family has hypertension,who in your family has mental
health disorders?
And so on and so forth.
Sometimes people show up tothat appointment not knowing
(33:37):
many parts of that of themselves.
You know pieces of what they'remade of in essence, and so
sometimes that's due to being,you know, adopted or having some
type of situation or death inthe family.
But if we are able to gleanthese pieces of information
(34:01):
before we even get pregnant,then that allows us to actually
start making the either changeswe need or the supplementation
to whatever our needs are inorder to mitigate some of these
issues.
So genetics, really, it's theblueprint of the makeup of
(34:22):
everything that we are.
It's the blueprint of themakeup of everything that we are
, but how our genetics areexpressed is largely attributed
to the environment that we're inand also the way we relation
with each other.
And when we have that awarenessbefore we even conceive, then
we can like, let's say, somekind of genetic disorder that
(34:47):
has an issue with how wemetabolize.
You know food supplements,various things like that.
Here's an example like MTHFR.
You know, like understanding,oh yeah, my mom has this or my
dad has this or this or that.
Then you know, before evengetting pregnant, okay, so I
want to take these particulartype of supplements so that my
body is able to actually absorbthem, which then means when I
(35:10):
conceive a baby, the baby'sactually able to get the
nutrients they need, which thenmeans I'm reducing the
likelihood of having a you know,malformation or a miscarriage
or this or that, because I knew,going into this, what factors
are a play in my genetics.
So that would be an example oflike why that piece of
(35:32):
information is important.
Another one would be you know,it seems like in on my mother's
side.
You know, breast cancer.
You know, my aunt had it, mygreat grandma had it, my grandma
had it.
Okay, what were some of theconditions surrounding that?
None of them breastfed.
Okay, well, what's theinformation about breastfeeding?
We see that it has a hugedecrease in the occurrence of
(35:56):
breast cancer, maybe despite thefact that my family did not
breastfeed.
Maybe that would be a really,really important decision for me
, increasing all these healthbenefits for my baby, and so on
and so forth.
So all of these things are aconscious way of navigating
having a baby as opposed to.
(36:17):
Oh, I had no idea, and now we'reliterally walking in the same
steps or having the same healthoutcomes as our family.
Genetics really kind of holdslike a 10% probability of how
things will come out for you,and the rest of the 90% is what
you do with that genetics andwhat's the environment you live
(36:38):
in regarding those genetics, andthat, then, is what shapes
epigenetics, which is a word foron top of your genetics, and
that, then, is what shapesepigenetics, which is a word for
on top of your genetics.
So we can understand, like, oh,this outcome from this family
member who had this particularlifestyle, if you literally
don't do that lifestyle despitethe fact that you have the same
(37:02):
genetics as them.
Now you have 90% of thatoutcome in your control because
you're simply living differentand doing different, and there's
no way that we can have thisinformation if we're not having
these conversations, and so thatgoes into the village of being
able to mine for information andmine other families for
(37:27):
information and what they didabout it and how they navigate
it, and this is then how webuild upon it and be able to do
best practices for betteroutcomes.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
One of the things that I don't find that is very
integrant into the communityright now is just talking about
anything that has to do reallywith the reproductive system
knowing our own anatomy, sharingour birth stories.
How important do you think itis for us to start integrating
(38:01):
the knowledge of our own anatomy, of what birth really looks
like, our birth stories,postpartum back into our daily
conversations, not only withourselves but with the youth in
our children?
Speaker 2 (38:18):
I think that is absolutely integral.
I would say a good metaphor forthat would be like passing on
generational wealth, as opposedto now that being who's thinking
about having a child, or who isnow pregnant with a child,
having to start on a zero bankaccount and they don't have the
(38:42):
previous foundation to stand on.
Can you make it happen?
Sure, but I truly, truly dobelieve we're at a time in our
humanity where it is not goodenough to survive anymore.
It's time for us to thrive.
When we live in the mode ofsurvival, which is what you in
(39:05):
essence have to do, when you'restarting from ground zero, you
have to establish like a roofover your head of this or that,
and you're taking in all thesethings to be able to then just
be able to be right, thenthere's so much opportunity
that's missed for thepotentiality of how much more
incredible the human growthspectrum can be.
(39:29):
And so having conversationswith our elders, ourselves, each
other in our same age group andthe children that come up after
us is part of that generationalwealth that we can pass on, and
so many of us.
And, frankly, when you thinkabout humanity and how we got to
(39:51):
this point, every single aspectof our human survival, and the
reality we live in is based onthe foundation of the survival,
and the reality of the in isbased on the foundation of the
survival and the reality of thepeople that had to live before
us.
That's why we literally areable to flip on a light switch
and we have light, because onceupon a time, someone invented a
(40:14):
light bulb and then, from there,someone was able to manufacture
them on a large scale, and then, from there, we had lamps, and
then, from there, we have storesthat were able to sell and pass
them on, so much so that now itwould be weird for there to be
a place that's sufficiently lit.
Okay, so having these kind ofconversations is kind of that
(40:37):
same thought process.
I know that I feel as though, ifI grew up in these type of
conversations and having thisawareness, then it wouldn't be
after the fact, after sufferingwith, you know, maternal mental
health issues, you know, afterstruggling with breastfeeding
issues, after struggling withall these things, and then
(40:59):
realizing like, oh, wow, how'd Iknow?
So having the information andthe knowledge, then literally
it's like money in your bankaccount because now you are able
to better choose.
Actually, I'm going to do thisinstead, because I see that the
outcomes are better, and I alsowant to make sure that you know
(41:25):
this particular health issuethat my mother went through when
having me, or my aunt wentthrough when having my cousins.
I don't want to have, and youcannot at all navigate these
potential options that you haveavailable to you without any of
the prior knowledge, without anyof the prior conversation.
(41:45):
And how do you haveconversations?
You have to have relationships.
How do you have relationships?
You have to have a village, andbefore all of that, you know,
you ultimately have to thenweigh in for yourself what it is
that you're doing andenvisioning for your life period
, so then you can thereby findthe information you need.
(42:06):
So I think the biggestimportant takeaway is how do we
want a mother like?
if you actually think about thatbefore we even get pregnant,
then that sets us on a rabbithole for well.
I know how I was mothered andthese are some of the things I
know I don't want to do.
Let me talk to my mom and seewhat was going on for her.
(42:29):
Oh, wow, she was really, reallystressed because finances were
an issue.
Oh, she was really reallystressed because, you know, she
didn't have the village supportshe needed.
These particular healthoutcomes keep happening in my
family line, family after familymember after family member.
I'm saying it's because theydidn't have whatever, whatever,
whatever.
So now, when we can see wherethe deficiencies lie, then we
(42:54):
can, on purpose, supplement andreinforce those aspects for
ourselves, because we for sureknow what we don't want to do.
That's one of the beautifulthings about generations is
looking back in the past andfrankly, that's what we've done
as humans all together.
Back in the day, we used totell women to smoke cigarettes
(43:17):
and to drink alcohol and it wasactually information passed on
by the Surgeon General for thewhole entire United States
Because at that time, thephilosophy and the understanding
was your babies will be smaller.
Why is it important that theywant the baby smaller?
That was because they wouldactually put women under
(43:37):
twilight sleep and they wouldpull the babies out of them.
That would be very hard to doif the babies were larger.
You see what I'm saying.
But now that evidence isshowing more information about,
actually that has a whole slewof bad outcomes for mom and for
baby, and this is why this is nolonger the standard, Now that
(43:58):
we know better.
No doctor, no midwife, noanybody today would actively say
this as a pro-health tip, eventhough it used to be able to
have the awareness of what hashappened.
So you can make differentchoices and the only way you can
(44:29):
do that is to ask questions,and you can still ask questions,
you know, while pregnant.
But I think the path ofmotherhood can be one that can
be more, so much more enjoyableand so much more soul fulfilling
and less of a like quoteunquote sacrifice.
(44:53):
You know I, I really would liketo see a different, a different
way we identify with motherhoodthan what we identify today.
So it is no secret that thehuman population, I don't want
to say is on a decline, becausewe're still having more humans,
but on average for people whoare having babies, meaning there
(45:18):
are now becoming more and morepeople not having babies.
On average people having babies, we're having like 1.2 babies
per family structure, pernuclear family or per
reproductive pair, you know.
And then we are having peoplethat are like from the time that
(45:40):
they're teenagers and whatthey're doing is they're
watching society, they'rewatching their moms, they're
watching all of that and seeingthe problems and issues.
And so now you know some of thestudies out there that they've
done children who are now inchildbearing years or age.
Their perception of having morechildren is that you have to
(46:05):
sacrifice yourself your mentalhealth, you get put back
financially.
It largely is kind of thisnegative idea and that's because
of how we've been doingmotherhood and how we've
culturally and societally put iton the separate little island,
(46:26):
which then means people have tonavigate, you know medical leave
and all these other things, soso it just makes it harder and
the whole basis of us being onthis planet is because we
procreate.
So it's like we then need to dobetter with the system of
procreating if we want to thenhave a healthy continuation of
(46:50):
humans coming out into the world, which you know is kind of this
like chicken or the eggphilosophy.
You know which one needs to comefirst, which one's more
important, and I feel that it ishaving open conversations and
creating a more transparent andopenness where motherhood exists
(47:10):
in our culture and society,just like anything and
everything else, so that it hasthe proper blood flow,
circulation that it needs tothrive, which then decreases the
level of sacrifice or the levelof risk or the level of like.
(47:30):
You know how much people end upsuffering because we have it
completely cut off and isolated.
And when we can, you know, havea better integration in that
sense, then I think thenarrative will now change in
terms of you know, we're notafraid of having babies Now.
We're excited about havingbabies Now.
(47:53):
You know, having a child is notsomething that people look at
as largely ruining your life, orone that you have to put your
life on hold look at as largelyruining your life or one that
you have to put your life onhold.
It's just a part of life, whileyou get to still do life,
because you're not secluded frombeing able to continue to be a
part of life and everyday living.
Speaker 1 (48:30):
One of the things I want to talk to you about the
vision that women have whenthey're pregnant and for their
birth.
We all have this idea of how wewant the birth to go, how we
want labor to go.
So many times I have patientscoming to me and, whether
verbally or on paper, they'reexpressing the kind of care that
they want to receive for theirlabor, for their induction, for
(48:54):
their birth.
So frequently I'll hear that mypatient is seeking midwifery
care, but they have hired an OBor MFM to be their birth
provider.
So what they're seeking and whothey've hired to be their birth
(49:14):
provider, it's two entirelydifferent things, different
things.
You, as a midwife, I would lovefor you to share with our
listeners because you know themidwifery model, and for women
(49:35):
who are seeking the midwiferymodel of care, why should they
prioritize having a midwife fortheir labor and delivery?
Speaker 2 (49:43):
Yeah, so this goes, you know circles, right back to
this topic that we're having inthis first series, which is
having these preconceptionconversations, because more
people, I truly believe, wouldactually find themselves wanting
to book with the midwife thanwith the MFM or an OB, and part
(50:07):
of how they get into this is,you know, the sometimes they'll
say, oh, my mom said she had tohave this infection and she had
to have this and that.
Or you know, people are tellingme that, and this is before
they even get pregnant,sometimes that X, y, z is going
to happen to me, so I just needto go this route.
(50:29):
And so it comes out from a lackof conversations and knowledge
and understanding what optionsare even out.
There.
There's an idea of we wantsupport and we want empowerment
while we're birthing, but whatwe see reflected to us and what
we're being told to us by thepeople around us is it's through
(50:51):
this route, through an OB,through an MFM, and so then
they're not fully understandingor aware as to what are the
different modalities that thesedifferent practices even can
provide for you.
So if, before even gettingpregnant, you know like what are
(51:12):
the different provider typesthat are, what are the different
modalities that are containedwithin them, that are contained
within them.
Then you're able to activelychoose.
Oh, I want this right, versusfinding yourself after the fact
(51:35):
being like I wish I had you know.
So those situations I findhappen out of lack of knowledge
or information, because from theget go, what was presented to
them is that these are, this isthe way that you do it and
that's what we see reflected insociety is that about 90% of the
births that are happening inour country happen in a hospital
.
And then who are thoseproviders in the hospital?
(51:58):
Largely OBs and maternal fetalmedicine and a very small
percentage of midwives.
This backwards thing, and so alot of the clients that I see
for their second and thirdpregnancies, is because they had
an outcome or they had a typeof birth with the provider.
(52:20):
That's not what they wantedfrom the, from the get-go, but
they weren't armed with theprovider.
That's not what they wantedfrom the get-go, but they
weren't armed with theinformation of how to get what
they want and needed in thefirst place.
So first things first.
You know at any point of thepregnancy whether you know you
haven't conceived yet or if nowyou find yourself, you know,
with that positive pregnancytest, is what are the different
(52:41):
provider types that you have inyour area and the different
provider types that are out?
There are midwives.
Many states have midwives.
Some of them are registered,licensed or whatever the case is
.
Some places have traditionalmidwives and then there's nurse
midwives and then there's an OBand then a perinatologist, or
(53:06):
also known as maternal fieldmedicine, when you understand
the scope of practice for eachone.
So now, looking at pyramidmetaphor, the bottom of the
pyramid, which is the largestyou know surface area, let's say
, is where midwives are.
So midwives cover the scope ofcare of normal, healthy
(53:29):
developing pregnancy.
There's not any, you know, hugehealth issues going on.
Someone doesn't have, like, aheart condition and they're
seeing a cardiologist andthey're taking medicines and
they're having surgeries andthis and that.
Then you know it's like, oh,okay, well, I largely don't have
any health issues and I'mpretty low risk.
(53:51):
I want to be in this categoryand in this category I see the
benefits are I get moreinformation in terms of a
healthy developing pregnancy.
I get a longer one-on-oneappointment time.
I get more of a connected feelwith somebody who feels more
(54:12):
like a intimate family supportas opposed to something that
feels less personalized.
And then you are aware of thebenefits and the statistics that
come out with that providertype.
And then you go up to the nextprovider type.
You know like, oh, their scopeof care is they're able to take
care of people who have some,you know, health issues or this
(54:36):
or that, and these are theparticular benefits that come
out of that type of providertype and these are the
statistics that we see reflectedfor them.
So, no different than buying acar and how we look at what is
their crash rating, what istheir safety seatbelts, what is
their customer servicesatisfaction.
(54:57):
When we can look at all of thatand we're, in essence, reading
the reviews before we buy itwe're more likely to be happy
and satisfied with our purchaseat the end because we got the
thing that we actually needed,as opposed to what was presented
to us is you have just oneoption and then you went with
(55:18):
that option, only to realizethat wasn't the fit for you.
Many people have actually, youknow, found midwifery care
because of the village thatthey're in or because of the
connections that they have intheir community Meaning in
church.
They see so-and-so having babynumber five and she had four of
(55:41):
her babies with the midwife.
Now that's in their realm ofreality that a midwife-free care
is even an option.
And so they start to have aconversation and then they see,
wow, she had a great outcome.
She had the baby at home.
She said it was so comfortable.
You know, x, y, z happened toher.
She had all these thingsavailable to her.
That looks kind of good.
(56:02):
That looks like something Iwant to do.
I talked to so-and-so.
They said that they had thisparticular birth outcome that
they weren't able to eat andthey had to have all these rules
and regulations and all thesethings.
And I don't know.
That doesn't quite feel likesomething I want to do.
So you can absolutely be able tonavigate your situation better
(56:26):
the more information you have.
But if you don't have that oryou're not having conversations
with other people that arehaving babies, you can't know
what your options are really.
But there is a lot of researchout there that you can do and
sometimes at least get a kind oflike a review, just like a
product review, you know, online, and just look at different
(56:50):
outcomes and probabilities andwhat are some things that are
required for that type of thing,and then you can choose okay,
this fits better for mysituation, what I have going on
with my health and so on and soforth, which then means you have
to have all the other previousawarenesses built in, such as
(57:12):
you're aware of your geneticsand you're aware of your
personal wellness and where youare in life and I do have a
cardiac issue.
Maybe I need to make sure thatI'm with a provider that can
address that or I don't have anyhealth issues and I want this
type of thing, you know.
So it's.
It's such a dynamicconversation that is best served
(57:37):
when we're looking at all thepieces before we have a baby,
because then you're able to puttogether a nice custom little
package for yourself that isbased off of your wants and
needs, as opposed to a reactiveoh geez.
And then you have theexperience after the fact,
looking at it, being like, oh, Iwish X, y, z, and that's not as
(58:02):
fun.
You know, nobody wants to gothrough something and have more
regrets as opposed to a positiveexperience that had the things
that they wanted in the firstplace.
Speaker 1 (58:14):
All of these things that we're talking about today
circles back to us taking ourpower back in birth, going to be
at the hospital, understandinghow you and your partner want to
raise your child or yourchildren, understanding the
(58:46):
genetics, epigenetics all ofthis.
How you want to mother, that'ssuch a great question.
I don't think I ever sat downand thought about how I want to
mother.
I was thinking about I needthis and I need that and this is
what I need.
It was more of a materialisticunderstanding as opposed to who
(59:06):
and how I want to show up for mychild.
Speaker 2 (59:09):
That has been a North star for me, but I think it was
one that I discovered after Ihad a child as opposed to before
.
So my experience was very muchso similar to yours, which is,
you know, oh, the things that Ineed and support, that I need to
(59:30):
set up and that kind of thing,the logistics of, like, making
sure there's room for the headand making sure that there's
food in the bellies.
But since then, and also seeingthe difference between the
types of motherhood, that I'mlike, oh my gosh, I look so good
.
Look at her.
(59:50):
She's glowing.
She doesn't have a care in theworld.
She's doing so good.
Oh, look at that baby, look atthat.
Whatever, like.
Those are the forms of motheringand motherhood we look at and
many of us desire, thinking thatthat's exactly what our
experience is going to be like.
But these things that we talkedabout today is actually part of
(01:00:14):
how you actually then bringthat envisioning into fruition,
which is why I thought it was soimportant that we talk about
these particular points, becausethat is the difference between
the two, the difference betweendoing it consciously and doing
it unconsciously, and also, Ithink, many women, every time we
(01:00:36):
have a child, we can understandhow to do it better.
You know what it is that didn'twork for us and navigate it
differently, which is where Irealized, like the power that
that's our power right there isfor me to choose and decide how
do I want to mother, what'sgoing to work for me, what's
(01:00:58):
going to help my baby thrive,what's going to help me feel
most at ease mentally, in mybody and in my spirit, where I
didn't know that those were evenoptions until after the fact.
And, you know, after goingthrough depression and anxiety
and all these things in my earlymothering, realizing that like
(01:01:22):
if I actually had and I knowthat that's not in alignment
with the way I want to motherthen I'm going to choose a
(01:01:43):
different option.
And so I feel that part of oneof the ways women can absolutely
stand in power and insovereignty is by having a
vision of that beforehand.
And so since then, I now haveasked myself that question and
(01:02:05):
that's my guidance for feelingout what works and what's not
working.
Because when I find that I'myelling or feeling exasperated,
or feeling stressed and Irealized, like I never wanted to
mother like this, like thisdoesn't feel good to me, this is
not the mom that I wanted to be, like, I don't want to be that
(01:02:27):
lady.
I want to be the one who's like, happy and excited to hold her
kid and to play with them.
And you know who feels excitedabout, you know, this growth in
my life and in this person'slife, because they're in it.
And then realizing like, ohgosh, okay, so if that's then
(01:02:49):
how I want to mother, then I'mseeing that this thing that I'm
navigating is not working for me, so I'm going to choose
something different.
I think that was a privilegethat many, many generations
before us did not get to have,and earlier in this conversation
that's what I was talking aboutin terms of I believe it is
beyond time now in our humanevolution to go from survival to
(01:03:13):
thriving, and the way we dothat is by having a conscious
idea of how we want to motherand choosing that, and of giving
ourselves the space and theauthority to have that, versus
having an external source saywhat we can and can't have,
(01:03:36):
regardless of if it's inalignment with what feels good
to us and I don't just meanfeels good, like in a frou-frou
way, like things that feel goodtend to be good for us too, you
know, mind, body and spirit.
And there is the key, that is,step number one, to truly
(01:04:00):
holding on to our power andmaking choices in alignment with
what serves that power, which,then, that serves the vision of
the mothers we want to be wewant to be.
Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
That's beautiful, that resonates deeply.
I think this message needs tobe heard.
Speaker 2 (01:04:25):
So thank you for saying that.
Yeah, thank you so much for theopportunity to get to say this.
I realized that this wholejourney has also birthed so many
aspects of the woman that I amtoday, right here, right now,
just by going through theprocess that I didn't
necessarily know or think orhave, which I realized like, oh
(01:04:47):
wow, this is why I feel calledto share it, because I'm sure
I'm not the only one who hasfelt, you know, scared or
traumatized from their birthexperience, or who have just
struggles about, like motherhoodand being beyond irritated and
annoyed and even angry.
(01:05:09):
And it's like when I was a kid,thinking about having a baby, my
thought process was waydifferent, like I thought it was
going to be way cooler.
So, you know, I now it's like,okay, let me put together you
know, experience andevidence-based information and
also just what I'm seeing in theclinical space with the
(01:05:32):
experience of hundreds andhundreds of other people, and
highlight the truth so that wecan then be able to all of us
harness that sovereign power tofeel happy and at ease and love
mothering and love having morebabies and hopefully culturally
(01:05:54):
change the narrative of, youknow, having a child ruins your
life and so on and so forth.
Like I feel that if we don'tmake a change soon, these kind
of things will be the undoing ofhumanity.
That's literally why we evenhave more humans is because
we're having them.
But if the narrative staysnegative, if we continue to keep
(01:06:15):
relinquishing our power, thenwe're just going to just not
exist anymore, because,unfortunately, we believed that
it was so bad that we justdidn't participate.
Speaker 1 (01:06:27):
Oh my gosh, I never even stopped to think like that.
Speaker 2 (01:06:29):
Correct, right.
But then there's thealternative of then forced
procreation.
You know where it's like.
That's not cool either.
So we have to absolutely takeour power back so that we have a
different way of doing humanityperiod.
Speaker 1 (01:06:47):
Where Midway, audrey is going to discuss conception,
preparing to conceive, creatinga space for a baby.
We will also discuss rainbowbabies, babies after a loss, and
that will be, for me, I'm sure,a heavy conversation.
We will get through it and itwill be a great conversation.
(01:07:08):
So we look forward to hearing.
We look forward to ourlisteners to hearing more.
Speaker 2 (01:07:15):
I'm excited to bring more Until next time, everyone.
Speaker 1 (01:07:33):
Thank you for listening.
Be sure to check out our socialmedia.
All links are provided in theepisode description.
We're excited to have you here.
Please give us a follow If youor someone you know would like
to be a guest on the show.
Reach out to us via email atinfo at maternalwealthcom.
And remember stay healthy,embrace your power and you got
(01:07:57):
this, thank you.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.