Stephanie Dunne's birth story challenges everything we think we know about being prepared for childbirth. With 17 years of managing an OBGYN office and constant access to doctors, midwives, and specialists, Stephanie confidently approached her first pregnancy. Her pregnancy was textbook perfect—what could possibly go wrong?
When labor began, it looked nothing like she expected. The dramatic movie-style contractions never materialized; instead, she experienced persistent back pain that left her uncomfortable but not alarmed. By morning, she was shocked to discover she'd been in active labor for 12 hours and was already six centimeters dilated. But the real surprises were yet to come.
During delivery, her daughter's heart rate dropped with each pushing attempt. After failed vacuum extractions, her trusted doctor called for an emergency C-section. Minutes later, her daughter was born blue and not breathing. Though successfully resuscitated, this traumatic birth was followed by breastfeeding struggles and the baby's dangerous blood sugar drops overnight. Everything Stephanie thought she knew—every advantage her medical background provided—couldn't prepare her for this reality.
"Knowledge isn't power if you don't know what to do with it when you have it," Stephanie reflects, capturing the essence of her journey. Despite professional expertise, she wasn't equipped for the mental health challenges that followed. Her story illuminates how women often measure their worth through external validation rather than trusting their inner wisdom, particularly during the vulnerable transition to motherhood.
Stephanie's powerful testimony reminds us that maternal health encompasses far more than medical knowledge—it requires emotional resilience, self-compassion, and the courage to define success on your own terms. Have you experienced moments where preparation couldn't protect you from the unpredictable nature of birth and motherhood? Share your story and join our community of mothers reclaiming their power.
Would you like to be a guest on our show? Send us a message here!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Stephanie Theriault (00:16):
Welcome to the Maternal Wealth Podcast, a
space for all things related tomaternal health, pregnancy and
beyond.
I'm your host, stephanie Terrio.
I'm a labor and delivery nurseand a mother to three beautiful
boys.
Each week, we dive intoinspiring stories and expert
insights to remind us of thepower that you hold in
childbirth and motherhood.
We're here to explore the joys,the challenges and the
(00:39):
complexities of maternal health.
Every mother's journey isunique and every story deserves
to be told.
Please note that this podcastis for entertainment purposes
only.
It is not intended to replaceprofessional medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment.
Always consult with yourhealthcare provider for medical
guidance that is tailored toyour specific needs.
(01:00):
Are you ready?
Let's get into it.
Today, we welcome StephanieDunn.
A few months ago, I was lookingfor a woman who wanted to be on
the show and Stephanieimmediately reached out.
(01:21):
Stephanie lives in Ohio and shehas two daughters, a
10-year-old and a six-year-old.
Stephanie works to help womenturn their purpose into powerful
presence.
Let's welcome Stephanie to theshow.
Welcome Stephanie.
Stephanie Dunne (01:39):
Hi there.
Thank you so much for having metoday.
Stephanie Theriault (01:42):
Thank you for coming.
I'm excited to get into theconversation to learn more about
you, your birth stories and howthat incorporated and
transformed your journey to dowhat you're doing now in helping
women.
Stephanie Dunne (01:55):
Yeah, absolutely.
I think it's going to be apretty amazing conversation, so
I'm ready to get started.
Stephanie Theriault (02:00):
Would you like to start off and let us
know about your two birthstories and how that brought you
to where you are today?
Yeah, sure.
Stephanie Dunne (02:10):
So, just to begin, so people don't think,
like you know, that I don'tnecessarily have any experience
in the medical world.
So I actually managed an OBGYNoffice for a long time.
I only say this because it kindof maybe brings out the
realness and kind of that rawfeeling of motherhood.
(02:33):
No matter how much experienceyou think that you have or how
much you think that you knowthat we all go through the exact
same thoughts and feelings,even those that are in the
women's health profession.
So I spent 17 years in medicaloffice management and leadership
(02:54):
in an OBGYN office.
So I managed multiple providers.
I had not just a doctor butmultiple midwives and nurse
practitioners and a physicianassistant and an ultrasound
technician at my fingertips.
So they were there in theoffice with me every single day
to answer every single questionthat I had.
(03:14):
So you would think that I wouldbe very well versed and very
prepared.
My first pregnancy with myoldest daughter was near perfect
.
Growth-wise, she was well.
Development-wise, she was well.
There was nothing that wouldindicate any sort of mishaps in
(03:36):
delivery whatsoever.
Things in my mind were justgoing to go absolutely perfect.
And because I was so welleducated and again, I had all of
these people to answer allthese questions for me, right
there at my fingertips.
I just thought this is going tobe easy peasy in and out.
We're going to have a baby,she's going to be healthy, we're
(03:59):
going to go home and we're justgoing to live our wonderful
life.
First of all, can I tell youtoo, even all of the patients
that I encountered over theyears, all of the stories and
things that I had heard fromlabor and delivery, I thought
(04:20):
when I first started havingcontractions and actually went
into labor, that it would be alot more like the movies, and I
don't know how many other peoplethought that.
I just thought as soon as Iwent into labor I would be
screaming in agony and it wouldbe the absolute worst thing that
I had ever done in my entirelife.
(04:41):
But I started to have backlabor with my oldest daughter
and, you know, at first it wasjust like very uncomfortable to
even sit down.
So it started, you know, rightaround bedtime for us, which was
like 9pm in the evening, and Ijust told my husband like I
(05:04):
can't get comfortable, I can'tlay down, I don't know, I'm just
going to like stay up on thecouch, I'll watch TV for a
little bit and everything wasfine In general.
I was just having some backpain and it continued, continued
, started to come around to mystomach.
You know, we stayed up allnight long and I'm like I don't
know, I'm just so uncomfortableand I was never like screaming
(05:26):
in pain and I thought therewould just be clear signs.
So I ended up at 8 am the nextmorning.
This lasted all night long.
At 8 am the next morning Icalled the physician assistant
at our office because she wastypically the first one there
and I just said are you at theoffice?
Yet Like I just have so muchpain and I don't know why, like
(05:51):
I'm not having any otherconcerns, I'm just in pain and I
don't know.
Can you like check me?
Can we get a heart tone?
Just see what's going on?
I met her at the office.
She checked me and she was likeI mean, I would call you,
you're definitely at a six.
Like you are dilated in labor,you need to go to labor and
delivery.
And I was like you're kidding.
(06:11):
And she was like how long hasthis been going on?
And I said well, about 12 hoursnow.
And you know, it was notobvious to me even that this was
just it was time.
So we went down to labor anddelivery straight from the
office.
I got there and everythingagain was just seemed to be
perfectly fine.
(06:31):
I had the anesthesiologist comein and they asked if I wanted
an epidural.
I was not one of those peoplethat wanted to try to do a
natural birth, necessarily.
I am a pretty small person ingeneral and I just thought I
don't know if this baby's sevenpounds or so, I'm just going to
go with the comfort.
And that was again just one ofthose decisions.
(06:52):
That was a decision of mine.
I heavily applaud people thatcan give birth naturally and
that's amazing.
But I opted for the epidural.
You know we went through all ofthat 315 or so.
In the afternoon my water stillhad not broke.
So they came in and broke mywater and you know we
(07:13):
immediately just kind of startedpushing.
Well, throughout the day mybaby's heart rate had dropped
several times and I didn'tnecessarily I don't think that
they necessarily told me everysingle time that it did, for
fear of just kind of making thatanxiety worse and not sure.
You know, I wasn't sure what toexpect.
So you know they were likewe're going to go ahead and
(07:36):
we're going to start pushing.
So I did and immediately mybaby's heart rate just dropped.
So we stopped.
We tried several times.
You know her heart rate wouldcome back up and I would try
pushing again and it justimmediately dropped.
We went through obviously aseries of different things,
different positions, and theywere like we're just not seeing
(07:59):
any progress at all.
So they had me try to push onemore time.
They could see the baby's headat that point but heart rate was
dropping quickly.
They tried to put on a vacuum,tried it three different times
and failed and the third timethat it popped off.
I remember my doctor who I hadworked for for a very long time,
(08:21):
somebody that I trusted so muchand his expertise and just his
ability to remain calm inemergency situations.
That's why I wanted him todeliver my child in the first
place.
Her heart rate just tanked atthat point after that last pop
off and he was like we're goingto the OR.
I was in there into the ORwithin a minute and a half and I
(08:45):
think that first incision wasmade within like three to four
minutes of him saying we'regoing.
I remember the assistantphysician yelling in the OR that
you know she needed help.
The baby had flipped so they hadtried to pull her head out and
she flipped before they couldget her head out and they were
(09:10):
able to finally together get herout.
But she was blue, not breathing, and at first like completely
scared me because obviously youknow, you expect that your
baby's just going to come outcrying and everything is going
to be fine.
And then I heard them call forthe resuscitation team and
(09:37):
fairly quickly after that theybacked the resuscitation team
off.
They never had to intubate her.
They were able to stimulate herto come around.
But you know her in anybodythat knows and anybody that's
had a baby, you know her firstApgar was a one and it's just a
(09:57):
concerning number for a mom thatexpects.
I've had this healthy pregnancy.
Everything has been great.
What happened?
Where did it all go wrong?
And because I was so educatedand I knew that things went
wrong, I knew that I should beable to expect the unexpected
(10:20):
and I knew what all theunexpected were, that I thought
there is no way that I can gointo this and not come out with
a perfectly healthy child.
So everything was fine afterthat and when I say fine, like
she was breathing, she hadgotten her color back, things
seemed good.
They took us back to the roomfor recovery.
(10:42):
She came back with us.
We went just through all ofthose normal post-op C-section
recovery steps.
They're checking in.
They let family come in becauseit was so late in the evening
at that point in time and I said, you know, I just want my
parents to come back.
So they allowed my parents tocome back to see the baby, and
it was just them and my time.
And I said you know, I justwant my parents to come back.
(11:02):
So they allowed my parents tocome back to see the baby, and
it was just them and my husband.
And then, as the evening wenton, they were like you know,
we're going to go ahead, we'regoing to let you get some rest.
Baby's good, everything's fine.
We'll come back in and we'llcheck on her in just a little
bit, but she's good.
So I fell asleep.
It was pretty late at night,obviously I was exhausted just
from the C-section, and I wokeup.
I remember it was about fouro'clock in the morning and I saw
(11:24):
my husband sitting beside mebut the bassinet was gone.
And I said where did she go?
And he said well, they came inin the middle of the night, you
were sleeping.
They said that she was a littlebit limp and just not super
responsive.
And immediately my heart sank.
Like what do you mean?
And my husband's not in themedical field, he doesn't know
(11:48):
always I would say the right wayto explain things, or like
maybe in the most comforting way, but he was like I don't know.
They were really concerned withher.
So they took her to the nurseryand he said that they did some
blood work and her blood sugarlevels are really, really low
and the pediatrician hadapparently been following her
through the night.
They called him in, they gother stabilized, they hooked her
(12:11):
up to an IV.
He said you know, she's down inthe nursery, she's doing fine,
but they're going to have tokeep her there until they can
see what exactly is going on.
Why are her blood sugar levelsdropping?
So we went down and I was metdown there early in the morning
by one of the lactationconsultants and she was like you
(12:31):
know, we would like for you togo ahead and try to breastfeed
her.
We had to give her somethingbecause, one, you were sleeping.
Two, her blood sugar levelstanked so much we needed to
figure out a way to get herstabilized.
So she has had a bottle at thispoint in time.
But if it is your desire tobreastfeed, we want you to try
that and I tried to breastfeedher.
(12:52):
She would not latch foranything.
We tried for days to get her tolatch and I think they hooked
me up to different pumps.
We tried different ways ofexpression, we tried knee
pumping, we tried, like so manydifferent things and it just was
a struggle.
And I think you know, again, Iwent into all of that thinking
(13:16):
I'm a, you know, healthy.
I'm a healthy 28-year-old woman.
I should be able to fairlyeasily breastfeed my child.
I have no major medical issues.
And again, I just thought I'mso well-educated on all of this
and I have all of these peopleat my beck and call I should be
(13:38):
able to do that, and none of itworked out the way that I
thought it would.
So I look back kind of on that.
My daughter now is happy andhealthy and growing and she is
the most amazing kid in theentire world.
But I think even the mosteducated, well-prepared women
(13:58):
who give birth aren'tnecessarily equipped with the
necessary tools to overcome whenit doesn't all go perfectly,
because one thing that I'verealized with my own birth story
, with my oldest daughter, isthat knowledge really isn't
(14:20):
everything.
And I say now a lot of thetimes, like you know, we go
through school even thinkinglike the more you know, the more
power you have.
But knowledge really isn'tpower if you don't know what to
do with it when you have it.
And that was the whole thing isthat I had all of this
knowledge.
I had all of this kind ofsecondhand experience from other
people, but I didn't learn orgrow from any of it until I was
(14:46):
faced with it myself.
And I think the biggest thingthat I was afraid to talk about
because I was in a positionwhere I should have so much
knowledge was my own strugglewith mental health after I had
my daughter.
And I think that that is notjust for women who do have
knowledge, but for all women.
(15:07):
I think that it has become astruggle to really talk about
some of the mental healthchallenges that come with even
the most perfect of pregnancies.
It's what happens after youcome home, and all of those
things that you are not justafraid to ask for help with, but
(15:28):
you are afraid to handle themin your own way, because we look
so much to other people to giveus that power that we already
have within us.
Stephanie Theriault (15:40):
Us that power that we already have
within us.
We pause this episode for aquick message from our sponsor.
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(16:01):
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In this course, I discuss thevariations that exist in
(16:43):
hospital practices based onpolicies, staffing and budgets,
all of which can directly affectyour birth experience and
outcome.
When you say we're afraid tohandle it in our own way, what
(17:07):
do you mean by that?
Stephanie Dunne (17:16):
I think, if we looked at a lot of the roles
that we play in life, we areexternally directed much more
than we are internally led.
So we have so much frustration,we feel so stuck in so many of
the roles that we play in lifebecause we are constantly
looking to be validated fromexternal circumstances,
especially when it comes tomotherhood and maternal mental
(17:36):
health.
We compare ourselves a lot toother moms, to other women.
Are they handling it betterthan us?
Did they lose the weight faster?
She seems happy.
Why am I not?
And then we have all of thesepeople around us that are
telling us well, this is justhow motherhood is.
(17:56):
You're stressed and overwhelmed99% of the time, but this is
what you signed up for and we'renot necessarily given the tools
to look at the possibility oflike what if this isn't how it's
supposed to be?
And I think that frustrationcomes from the fact that we
cannot get ourselves from who weare to who we're meant to be,
(18:21):
because we're giving otherpeople the power.
We're waiting for the toolsfrom other people to be able to
build that bridge.
We're not putting that powerinto our own hands.
So when I looked at my ownmotherhood journey, I think I
immediately thought to myselfwhat did I do wrong?
(18:44):
Why couldn't I deliver thisbaby the way I wanted to or the
way that you're supposed to?
And you know, unfortunatelythere are these mom groups and
stuff all over and influencersthat we're following on social
media that are telling womenthat you're less of a mom if you
(19:06):
have a C-section, if you don'tdeliver vaginally like that's
the way that it's supposed to be, and if you had a C-section,
you took the easy way out andyou don't want to let those
things affect you.
But we are so conditioned tobelieve that our achievements
and all of those thingsdetermine our worth and our
(19:28):
value, and at the extreme level,when we're looking at maternal
health and
Welcome to the Maternal Wealth Podcast, a
space for all things related tomaternal health, pregnancy and
beyond.
I'm your host, stephanie Terrio.
I'm a labor and delivery nurseand a mother to three beautiful
boys.
Each week, we dive intoinspiring stories and expert
insights to remind us of thepower that you hold in
childbirth and motherhood.
We're here to explore the joys,the challenges and the
(00:39):
complexities of maternal health.
Every mother's journey isunique and every story deserves
to be told.
Please note that this podcastis for entertainment purposes
only.
It is not intended to replaceprofessional medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment.
Always consult with yourhealthcare provider for medical
guidance that is tailored toyour specific needs.
(01:00):
Are you ready?
Let's get into it.
Today, we welcome StephanieDunn.
A few months ago, I was lookingfor a woman who wanted to be on
the show and Stephanieimmediately reached out.
(01:21):
Stephanie lives in Ohio and shehas two daughters, a
10-year-old and a six-year-old.
Stephanie works to help womenturn their purpose into powerful
presence.
Let's welcome Stephanie to theshow.
Welcome Stephanie.
Stephanie Dunne (01:39):
Hi there.
Thank you so much for having metoday.
Stephanie Theriault (01:42):
Thank you for coming.
I'm excited to get into theconversation to learn more about
you, your birth stories and howthat incorporated and
transformed your journey to dowhat you're doing now in helping
women.
Stephanie Dunne (01:55):
Yeah, absolutely.
I think it's going to be apretty amazing conversation, so
I'm ready to get started.
Stephanie Theriault (02:00):
Would you like to start off and let us
know about your two birthstories and how that brought you
to where you are today?
Yeah, sure.
Stephanie Dunne (02:10):
So, just to begin, so people don't think,
like you know, that I don'tnecessarily have any experience
in the medical world.
So I actually managed an OBGYNoffice for a long time.
I only say this because it kindof maybe brings out the
realness and kind of that rawfeeling of motherhood.
(02:33):
No matter how much experienceyou think that you have or how
much you think that you knowthat we all go through the exact
same thoughts and feelings,even those that are in the
women's health profession.
So I spent 17 years in medicaloffice management and leadership
(02:54):
in an OBGYN office.
So I managed multiple providers.
I had not just a doctor butmultiple midwives and nurse
practitioners and a physicianassistant and an ultrasound
technician at my fingertips.
So they were there in theoffice with me every single day
to answer every single questionthat I had.
(03:14):
So you would think that I wouldbe very well versed and very
prepared.
My first pregnancy with myoldest daughter was near perfect
.
Growth-wise, she was well.
Development-wise, she was well.
There was nothing that wouldindicate any sort of mishaps in
(03:36):
delivery whatsoever.
Things in my mind were justgoing to go absolutely perfect.
And because I was so welleducated and again, I had all of
these people to answer allthese questions for me, right
there at my fingertips.
I just thought this is going tobe easy peasy in and out.
We're going to have a baby,she's going to be healthy, we're
(03:59):
going to go home and we're justgoing to live our wonderful
life.
First of all, can I tell youtoo, even all of the patients
that I encountered over theyears, all of the stories and
things that I had heard fromlabor and delivery, I thought
(04:20):
when I first started havingcontractions and actually went
into labor, that it would be alot more like the movies, and I
don't know how many other peoplethought that.
I just thought as soon as Iwent into labor I would be
screaming in agony and it wouldbe the absolute worst thing that
I had ever done in my entirelife.
(04:41):
But I started to have backlabor with my oldest daughter
and, you know, at first it wasjust like very uncomfortable to
even sit down.
So it started, you know, rightaround bedtime for us, which was
like 9pm in the evening, and Ijust told my husband like I
(05:04):
can't get comfortable, I can'tlay down, I don't know, I'm just
going to like stay up on thecouch, I'll watch TV for a
little bit and everything wasfine In general.
I was just having some backpain and it continued, continued
, started to come around to mystomach.
You know, we stayed up allnight long and I'm like I don't
know, I'm just so uncomfortableand I was never like screaming
(05:26):
in pain and I thought therewould just be clear signs.
So I ended up at 8 am the nextmorning.
This lasted all night long.
At 8 am the next morning Icalled the physician assistant
at our office because she wastypically the first one there
and I just said are you at theoffice?
Yet Like I just have so muchpain and I don't know why, like
(05:51):
I'm not having any otherconcerns, I'm just in pain and I
don't know.
Can you like check me?
Can we get a heart tone?
Just see what's going on?
I met her at the office.
She checked me and she was likeI mean, I would call you,
you're definitely at a six.
Like you are dilated in labor,you need to go to labor and
delivery.
And I was like you're kidding.
(06:11):
And she was like how long hasthis been going on?
And I said well, about 12 hoursnow.
And you know, it was notobvious to me even that this was
just it was time.
So we went down to labor anddelivery straight from the
office.
I got there and everythingagain was just seemed to be
perfectly fine.
(06:31):
I had the anesthesiologist comein and they asked if I wanted
an epidural.
I was not one of those peoplethat wanted to try to do a
natural birth, necessarily.
I am a pretty small person ingeneral and I just thought I
don't know if this baby's sevenpounds or so, I'm just going to
go with the comfort.
And that was again just one ofthose decisions.
(06:52):
That was a decision of mine.
I heavily applaud people thatcan give birth naturally and
that's amazing.
But I opted for the epidural.
You know we went through all ofthat 315 or so.
In the afternoon my water stillhad not broke.
So they came in and broke mywater and you know we
(07:13):
immediately just kind of startedpushing.
Well, throughout the day mybaby's heart rate had dropped
several times and I didn'tnecessarily I don't think that
they necessarily told me everysingle time that it did, for
fear of just kind of making thatanxiety worse and not sure.
You know, I wasn't sure what toexpect.
So you know they were likewe're going to go ahead and
(07:36):
we're going to start pushing.
So I did and immediately mybaby's heart rate just dropped.
So we stopped.
We tried several times.
You know her heart rate wouldcome back up and I would try
pushing again and it justimmediately dropped.
We went through obviously aseries of different things,
different positions, and theywere like we're just not seeing
(07:59):
any progress at all.
So they had me try to push onemore time.
They could see the baby's headat that point but heart rate was
dropping quickly.
They tried to put on a vacuum,tried it three different times
and failed and the third timethat it popped off.
I remember my doctor who I hadworked for for a very long time,
(08:21):
somebody that I trusted so muchand his expertise and just his
ability to remain calm inemergency situations.
That's why I wanted him todeliver my child in the first
place.
Her heart rate just tanked atthat point after that last pop
off and he was like we're goingto the OR.
I was in there into the ORwithin a minute and a half and I
(08:45):
think that first incision wasmade within like three to four
minutes of him saying we'regoing.
I remember the assistantphysician yelling in the OR that
you know she needed help.
The baby had flipped so they hadtried to pull her head out and
she flipped before they couldget her head out and they were
(09:10):
able to finally together get herout.
But she was blue, not breathing, and at first like completely
scared me because obviously youknow, you expect that your
baby's just going to come outcrying and everything is going
to be fine.
And then I heard them call forthe resuscitation team and
(09:37):
fairly quickly after that theybacked the resuscitation team
off.
They never had to intubate her.
They were able to stimulate herto come around.
But you know her in anybodythat knows and anybody that's
had a baby, you know her firstApgar was a one and it's just a
(09:57):
concerning number for a mom thatexpects.
I've had this healthy pregnancy.
Everything has been great.
What happened?
Where did it all go wrong?
And because I was so educatedand I knew that things went
wrong, I knew that I should beable to expect the unexpected
(10:20):
and I knew what all theunexpected were, that I thought
there is no way that I can gointo this and not come out with
a perfectly healthy child.
So everything was fine afterthat and when I say fine, like
she was breathing, she hadgotten her color back, things
seemed good.
They took us back to the roomfor recovery.
(10:42):
She came back with us.
We went just through all ofthose normal post-op C-section
recovery steps.
They're checking in.
They let family come in becauseit was so late in the evening
at that point in time and I said, you know, I just want my
parents to come back.
So they allowed my parents tocome back to see the baby, and
it was just them and my time.
And I said you know, I justwant my parents to come back.
(11:02):
So they allowed my parents tocome back to see the baby, and
it was just them and my husband.
And then, as the evening wenton, they were like you know,
we're going to go ahead, we'regoing to let you get some rest.
Baby's good, everything's fine.
We'll come back in and we'llcheck on her in just a little
bit, but she's good.
So I fell asleep.
It was pretty late at night,obviously I was exhausted just
from the C-section, and I wokeup.
I remember it was about fouro'clock in the morning and I saw
(11:24):
my husband sitting beside mebut the bassinet was gone.
And I said where did she go?
And he said well, they came inin the middle of the night, you
were sleeping.
They said that she was a littlebit limp and just not super
responsive.
And immediately my heart sank.
Like what do you mean?
And my husband's not in themedical field, he doesn't know
(11:48):
always I would say the right wayto explain things, or like
maybe in the most comforting way, but he was like I don't know.
They were really concerned withher.
So they took her to the nurseryand he said that they did some
blood work and her blood sugarlevels are really, really low
and the pediatrician hadapparently been following her
through the night.
They called him in, they gother stabilized, they hooked her
(12:11):
up to an IV.
He said you know, she's down inthe nursery, she's doing fine,
but they're going to have tokeep her there until they can
see what exactly is going on.
Why are her blood sugar levelsdropping?
So we went down and I was metdown there early in the morning
by one of the lactationconsultants and she was like you
(12:31):
know, we would like for you togo ahead and try to breastfeed
her.
We had to give her somethingbecause, one, you were sleeping.
Two, her blood sugar levelstanked so much we needed to
figure out a way to get herstabilized.
So she has had a bottle at thispoint in time.
But if it is your desire tobreastfeed, we want you to try
that and I tried to breastfeedher.
(12:52):
She would not latch foranything.
We tried for days to get her tolatch and I think they hooked
me up to different pumps.
We tried different ways ofexpression, we tried knee
pumping, we tried, like so manydifferent things and it just was
a struggle.
And I think you know, again, Iwent into all of that thinking
(13:16):
I'm a, you know, healthy.
I'm a healthy 28-year-old woman.
I should be able to fairlyeasily breastfeed my child.
I have no major medical issues.
And again, I just thought I'mso well-educated on all of this
and I have all of these peopleat my beck and call I should be
(13:38):
able to do that, and none of itworked out the way that I
thought it would.
So I look back kind of on that.
My daughter now is happy andhealthy and growing and she is
the most amazing kid in theentire world.
But I think even the mosteducated, well-prepared women
(13:58):
who give birth aren'tnecessarily equipped with the
necessary tools to overcome whenit doesn't all go perfectly,
because one thing that I'verealized with my own birth story
, with my oldest daughter, isthat knowledge really isn't
(14:20):
everything.
And I say now a lot of thetimes, like you know, we go
through school even thinkinglike the more you know, the more
power you have.
But knowledge really isn'tpower if you don't know what to
do with it when you have it.
And that was the whole thing isthat I had all of this
knowledge.
I had all of this kind ofsecondhand experience from other
people, but I didn't learn orgrow from any of it until I was
(14:46):
faced with it myself.
And I think the biggest thingthat I was afraid to talk about
because I was in a positionwhere I should have so much
knowledge was my own strugglewith mental health after I had
my daughter.
And I think that that is notjust for women who do have
knowledge, but for all women.
(15:07):
I think that it has become astruggle to really talk about
some of the mental healthchallenges that come with even
the most perfect of pregnancies.
It's what happens after youcome home, and all of those
things that you are not justafraid to ask for help with, but
(15:28):
you are afraid to handle themin your own way, because we look
so much to other people to giveus that power that we already
have within us.
Stephanie Theriault (15:40):
Us that power that we already have
within us.
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In this course, I discuss thevariations that exist in
(16:43):
hospital practices based onpolicies, staffing and budgets,
all of which can directly affectyour birth experience and
outcome.
When you say we're afraid tohandle it in our own way, what
(17:07):
do you mean by that?
Stephanie Dunne (17:16):
I think, if we looked at a lot of the roles
that we play in life, we areexternally directed much more
than we are internally led.
So we have so much frustration,we feel so stuck in so many of
the roles that we play in lifebecause we are constantly
looking to be validated fromexternal circumstances,
especially when it comes tomotherhood and maternal mental
(17:36):
health.
We compare ourselves a lot toother moms, to other women.
Are they handling it betterthan us?
Did they lose the weight faster?
She seems happy.
Why am I not?
And then we have all of thesepeople around us that are
telling us well, this is justhow motherhood is.
(17:56):
You're stressed and overwhelmed99% of the time, but this is
what you signed up for and we'renot necessarily given the tools
to look at the possibility oflike what if this isn't how it's
supposed to be?
And I think that frustrationcomes from the fact that we
cannot get ourselves from who weare to who we're meant to be,
(18:21):
because we're giving otherpeople the power.
We're waiting for the toolsfrom other people to be able to
build that bridge.
We're not putting that powerinto our own hands.
So when I looked at my ownmotherhood journey, I think I
immediately thought to myselfwhat did I do wrong?
(18:44):
Why couldn't I deliver thisbaby the way I wanted to or the
way that you're supposed to?
And you know, unfortunatelythere are these mom groups and
stuff all over and influencersthat we're following on social
media that are telling womenthat you're less of a mom if you
(19:06):
have a C-section, if you don'tdeliver vaginally like that's
the way that it's supposed to be, and if you had a C-section,
you took the easy way out andyou don't want to let those
things affect you.
But we are so conditioned tobelieve that our achievements
and all of those thingsdetermine our worth and our
(19:28):
value, and at the extreme level,when we're looking at maternal
health and
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