May 14, 2025 • 40 mins
What happens when a woman gives birth in a foreign country without family support, speaks minimal Korean, and navigates an unfamiliar healthcare system? Heather Magill's unexpected journey into motherhood began precisely this way in South Korea, setting her on a path that would ultimately transform not just her life but the lives of countless new mothers.
Through three distinctly different birth experiences—from a curtained hospital ward in South Korea to the nurturing environment of a birth center—Heather discovered firsthand the profound impact that proper support makes during the vulnerable postpartum period. Her candid reflections reveal many new mothers' stark reality: "It was never really meant for someone to have a baby and take your baby home to an empty house... see you in six weeks, good luck with everything." This insight became the foundation for her life's work.
Heather introduces the powerful concept of "matrescence"—the developmental transition into motherhood that parallels adolescence in its intensity and transformative nature. This framework helps explain why becoming a mother isn't just about learning baby care skills but involves fundamental shifts in identity, perspective, and place in the world. Through her business, Infant Concierge, she now provides overnight and daytime doula services that fill crucial gaps in postpartum care, offering practical help and knowledgeable, non-judgmental support as families navigate their unique parenting journeys.
Whether you're expecting your first child, supporting someone who is, or simply interested in maternal health, this conversation offers valuable insights into how proper postpartum support can positively impact mental health, family bonding, and the overall experience of new parenthood. Connect with Heather at infantconcierge.com to learn more about her services and upcoming matrescence support groups designed to help mothers of all ages process their unique maternal journeys.
Take advantage of Heather's free tool to help busy moms build a habit of self-compassion and kindness when they need it the most.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Stephanie Theriault (00:11):
Welcome to the Maternal Wealth Podcast, a
space for all things related tomaternal health, pregnancy and
beyond.
I'm your host, stephanie Terrio.
I'm a labor and delivery nurseand a mother to three beautiful
boys.
Each week, we dive intoinspiring stories and expert
insights to remind us of thepower that you hold in
childbirth and motherhood.
We're here to explore the joys,the challenges and the
(00:33):
complexities of maternal health.
Every mother's journey isunique and every story deserves
to be told.
Please note that this podcastis for entertainment purposes
only.
It is not intended to replaceprofessional medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment.
Always consult with yourhealthcare provider for medical
guidance that is tailored toyour specific needs.
(00:54):
Are you ready?
Let's get into.
Welcome back to the MaternalWealth Podcast.
Today, we welcome Heather McGill.
She is a mother of three and apostpartum doula and owner of
(01:16):
Infant Concierge.
Welcome to the podcast, heather.
Hi.
Thanks for having me.
Thanks for being here.
I'm so excited to chat.
Heather and I have been tryingto get together since last year
in the winter.
Finally we got something in thebook, so I'm excited to have
you here today.
One of the ways that I reallylike to start the episodes on
(01:36):
the podcast is for you to sharea little bit about yourself
before you became a mom yourselfbefore you became a mom?
Heather Magill (01:51):
Yeah, sure.
So I became a mom relativelyearly on.
I had my oldest about a yearafter I graduated from college.
Before that, yeah, I grew up ina homeschool family and then I
attended college for four years,met my husband there, and after
graduation we actually moved toSouth Korea for a year to teach
English, and then my son wasborn at the end of that year.
Stephanie Theriault (02:15):
Was your son born in Korea?
He was Did you grow up here inthe North Shore of Massachusetts
?
Heather Magill (02:21):
I grew up on Cape Cod, actually, but we've
been living on the North Shorefor Massachusetts.
I grew up on Cape Cod, actually, but we've been living on the
North Shore for 12 years now, somy kids have grown up here.
Where did you go?
Stephanie Theriault (02:32):
to college, nyack College in New York.
All right, so what led you andyour husband to decide you want
to go and teach in Korea?
Heather Magill (02:39):
We were both interested in education in
general and we did not havespecific plans for what we
wanted to do after college, sowe figured that would be
probably the best chance for usto just kind of travel and see
the world a bit and get someexperience living in a different
(03:01):
culture and just be able tosave some money and that sort of
thing.
They have a pretty big programthrough the South Korean
government for people comingfrom native English speaking
countries to come as Englishteachers, and there's a lot of
schools there that will coveryour flights and give you a
place to live as well as asalary as an English teacher.
(03:24):
So it was a great opportunityfor us.
Stephanie Theriault (03:26):
When you became pregnant in South Korea,
was it planned or was it asurprise?
It was a surprise, were youlike, okay, I'm pregnant in
South Korea.
Were you thinking about wantingto go back to the US?
Heather Magill (03:40):
or were you like , no, I'm going to do this here
back to the US or you're like no, I'm going to do this here.
We decided to stay.
I think part of the reason youknow we were more kind of
established there since we wentstraight after college.
We didn't necessarily have ahome or jobs lined up in the
United States at that point andit, I mean it was a surprise but
it wasn't totally unexpectedand it was actually kind of
(04:05):
beneficial because of that.
Just the way the healthcaresystem was there and honestly to
me, I think I was very naivegoing into it and kind of didn't
feel like it was going tonecessarily be as difficult as
it ended up being.
Stephanie Theriault (04:21):
Talk to us a little bit about the prenatal
care.
How did that look like?
Heather Magill (04:25):
Yeah, so they had we would go.
It was kind of, I guess, like aclinic type setting that we
would go to for our appointments.
My husband and I learned veryminimal Korean, but fortunately
most people who arewell-educated, such as doctors,
spoke English fairly well, andso we were able to communicate
(04:47):
with the doctors that we saw.
And I think in general,prenatal care was not very
different from how it is in theUnited States.
At that point I hadn't had ababy in the US, so I didn't
really have anything to compareit too.
But one thing that I did noticeis that they would check on the
baby using ultrasound basicallyevery visit, and would even
(05:10):
share some of those recordingswith us.
Stephanie Theriault (05:12):
Were the visits with OBs or midwives.
Heather Magill (05:17):
I think they were OBs, but because of the
communication barrier we didn'treally go into a lot of those
specifics and that even wasn'treally something that I was
educated that much about, aboutthe differences and things like
that at that point.
Stephanie Theriault (05:33):
When it came time for labor, were you
induced or did you go into labornaturally?
Heather Magill (05:40):
I went into labor, naturally, my water broke
actually before labor started,and then we headed to the
hospital and contractionsstarted within a couple of hours
, do you?
Stephanie Theriault (05:51):
remember how many weeks you were, more or
less.
Heather Magill (05:54):
It was.
Yeah, it was after my due date,I think about six, six days or
so.
No, it was before.
I'm sorry, it was six daysbefore my due date.
Sorry, it's been 17 years sothe details are a little fussy.
But yeah, no, he came almost aweek early.
Stephanie Theriault (06:13):
You broke your water, you went to the
hospital and then contractionsjust came on, naturally.
Heather Magill (06:18):
Yeah, within a couple of hours it was.
It went pretty smoothly.
Stephanie Theriault (06:22):
As far as you know, there weren't really
any sort of major complicationsor anything like that being in a
different country and havingmedical personnel take care of
you who, as you mentioned, yourKorean was so so you had to
learn so much.
How was that for you?
Going through birth?
This is your first time, right?
(06:44):
So even if you're in a countryand with people who speak your
language, how was thatexperience for you?
Heather Magill (06:50):
I think in hindsight it's a lot scarier
than it was at the time.
I really did not have any ideawhat I was getting myself into.
Like I said I was fortunatethat things went relatively
smoothly.
Now, knowing what I know now, Ican see all the places where
things could have been moredifficult.
But in general I think it wentpretty well.
(07:14):
It was a little bit of adifferent experience.
They didn't have private roomsfor laboring in, so it's just a
room full of beds with curtainsin between.
So that was definitelydifferent than my experiences
after.
That didn't have a lot ofeducation as far as you know the
(07:49):
best ways to labor and thingslike that.
So I was in a bed the wholetime and so that was a little.
I can see now that I could haveprobably done things
differently, but it all workedout in the end.
Stephanie Theriault (07:57):
How about your postpartum period?
Like the immediate postpartumperiod?
How long were you in thehospital?
And then talk to us a littlebit about first couple months
being with a newborn in SouthKorea.
Heather Magill (08:07):
Yeah, I think I was in the hospital for maybe
three or four days.
They actually.
I feel that the laborexperience was maybe a little
bit more similar to somethingthat might have happened in an
American hospital a few decadesago.
But the postpartum experiencewas very supportive in that they
did have private rooms, hadtraditional foods that I
(08:33):
actually didn't eat that much ofbecause it wasn't my tradition
and some things were notnecessarily to my taste, but it
was very high qualitytraditional foods that they
served.
They had different services,such as massage and stuff that I
was not able to take advantageof just because of the
communication barriers, but Ifelt very well supported in the
(08:55):
hospital.
Coming home from the hospitalwas a little bit more tricky for
me.
The culture is set up there sothat new moms get a lot of their
support from extended familyand sometimes they even go back
home and live with their parentsor things like that after the
(09:15):
birth for a little while.
So there's not a lot of spacein the culture for partner
support and my husband ended upgoing back to work within just a
couple of days of the birth, sothat made it difficult for me
not having my other familymembers and support around, so
(09:36):
that was harder for me than Iexpected, but I was fortunate
that my mom was able to come andvisit and stay with us for a
few weeks after the birth.
The only challenge with thatwas that she had to book her
tickets in advance, obviously,and the first couple of weeks
was just me, and then, when shearrived, that was very, very
(09:56):
helpful for me.
Stephanie Theriault (09:57):
How long were you in South Korea after
you had your first child?
Heather Magill (10:02):
We came home when he was about three months
old, were you?
Stephanie Theriault (10:05):
already planning to come home, or did
you decide to come home afteryou had your child?
Heather Magill (10:11):
Yeah.
So we had signed a contract fora year and I had to end my
contract early because of havinghim.
My husband stayed for the fullyear contract and then we headed
home.
If we hadn't have had a kid, wemight have stayed for a second
year, but that was the bestchoice for us at the time.
Stephanie Theriault (10:31):
Did you come back to the North Shore of
Massachusetts?
Heather Magill (10:34):
We actually flew back to Florida, which is where
my in-laws live, and we stayedwith them for a couple of weeks,
so they got to meet the babyand everything.
And then we traveled fromFlorida back to Massachusetts
and we lived for a little whilewith my mom in her house before
(10:54):
we got our own place.
Stephanie Theriault (10:56):
For your second child.
Was there any thoughts of youwanting to go into maternal
health, becoming a postpartumdoula in the interim or just a
journey after you had your othertwo children?
Heather Magill (11:10):
No, this was a journey that started pretty soon
after I had my first.
There was a lot to processafter the birth, just in terms
of my own experiences, just interms of my own experiences, and
I did feel like I was kind ofblindsided just by how
challenging it was to be a momto a newborn.
I kind of figured ahead of time.
(11:32):
I had babysitting experience, Iwas comfortable being around
kids and babies, so it should befine.
Obviously, becoming a mom isvery different than being a
babysitter and that is somethingthat I kind of didn't realize
until I was in the thick of it.
And it was during that timegoing online, reading different
(11:53):
experiences, kind of processingmy own experience that I came
across the idea of being apostpartum doula and that really
resonated with me because itwas a very similar support role
to my experience with my momwhen she was able to visit.
So that's kind of when the ideafirst came into my head and I
was exploring what I wanted todo with my life after college
(12:17):
and everything like that.
But it definitely was a slowprocess and it took a few years
to even get started on that forme.
Stephanie Theriault (12:26):
Before we get into the birth story of your
second child.
We all experience our owndifficulties or challenges and
hardships in the postpartumperiod.
For those who are listening,who aren't mothers yet, what are
some of the specific challengesthat you faced that made you
want to become a postpartumdoula?
Heather Magill (12:46):
That's a good question, I think.
Looking back in hindsight, Ithink something that I really
struggled with was anxiety, andat the time that wasn't really
something that I necessarily wasable to identify or understand
that.
Maybe it was a little bitoutside of the normal experience
, but it definitely justaffected my sleep and kind of my
(13:11):
ability to just to be fullypresent during that time.
And then the other concept thathas really helped me a lot in
hindsight and that I'm focusinga lot of my support on now is
just the idea of matrescence andkind of the natural
developmental changes that comeas we become moms.
(13:32):
And it's very interesting to mebecause originally I just kind
of imagined that having a babywould just be, then my life
would be me with the baby in it,and really there's so much more
that shifts kind offundamentally physically,
emotionally, the way you viewyourself and your place in the
(13:53):
world.
That comes when you become amom.
And so just that whole conceptof matrescence has really been
helpful for me, that wholeconcept of matrescence has
really been helpful for me.
For your baby number two.
How long did you wait beforeyou decided to have another
child?
So my kids are all three yearsapart and it definitely took a
solid two years after having myfirst and several months to a
(14:17):
year of more consistent sleepbefore I felt like I was even
ready to start thinking abouthaving a second one.
So, yeah, when he was aroundtwo is when we decided to think
about having another one.
Stephanie Theriault (14:38):
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How was the pregnancy for you?
Having one at home and beingpregnant with your second child?
Heather Magill (16:00):
It was definitely more challenging in
terms of just you know, goingthrough the physical demands of
pregnancy while also taking careof a two-year-old, but overall
it was pretty smooth.
Stephanie Theriault (16:15):
Where did you decide to deliver and then
did you have a midwife or anOBGYN for your birth provider?
Heather Magill (16:22):
So by the time I was pregnant for the second
time which I also actually endedup doing my original postpartum
doula training during thatpregnancy and by then we were
living on the North shore.
We moved up to Salem Originally, my husband ended up going to
(16:43):
Salem state to get his master'sdegree, and so that was also
going on during this pregnancy,and my daughter was born at
Salem Hospital.
I think the person who wasthere at the birth was an OB,
but I saw everyone in thepractice throughout my pregnancy
(17:05):
, so I think there was at leastone midwife that I saw for some
of my prenatal visits, as wellas the OBs, and actually my
daughter will be 14 on Monday,so her birth was almost exactly
14 years ago.
Stephanie Theriault (17:18):
Did you have another vaginal?
Heather Magill (17:19):
delivery.
Yes, I did have a vaginaldelivery and that one was
unmedicated.
I ended up having an epiduralwith my first.
Like I had mentioned, I reallywasn't educated on different
options and there wasn't a lotof options available in that
hospital in Korea.
I was open to trying itunmedicated for the second time.
(17:43):
We also had a birth doula withus for the second birth, so that
was very helpful and it alsowas fairly quick, so I did not
end up getting an epidural.
Stephanie Theriault (17:55):
And was this also a spontaneous labor
and not an abduction?
Heather Magill (18:02):
Yes, so her position.
She was transverse for a littlewhile towards the end of the
pregnancy so we thought we mayhave to end up having a
C-section.
But she moved heads down and itwas spontaneous, and that time
it was actually a few days aftermy due date.
Stephanie Theriault (18:21):
And then talk to us about your postpartum
period.
So in between the two, yourfirst and your second you've
done some research.
You now trained to be apostpartum doula.
Did you find through yourresearch and your certifications
helped you with the transitionthe second time around into the
postpartum period with two?
Heather Magill (18:42):
I definitely think I was better able to
prepare and it helped a lot thatI was living close by to my
sister at the time and my momwas just a couple of hours away,
maybe an hour drive away, andwe just we did have more support
around that time.
My, my husband also had notonly more flexibility in his
(19:03):
schedule but he was also moreaware of what we were getting
into and the types of support wewould need and he was more
comfortable.
He had very, very littleexperience taking care of babies
or young children before we hadour first, so by the time the
second one came around, he hadmore experience with that as
well, and so that was veryhelpful.
(19:24):
And, yeah, I think I justemotionally I did feel more
stable during the second one, toless surprised by the intensity
of the experience.
Stephanie Theriault (19:37):
After your second child, were you working
with other moms as a postpartumdoula?
Were you working with othermoms as a postpartum doula.
Heather Magill (19:43):
No, I really didn't start doing that.
I worked very slightly duringthose years with maybe two
clients a year.
When my kids were very little,I was the primary caregiver for
them while my husband wasworking and in grad school and I
was doing other types ofeducation to support my
(20:05):
postpartum doula journey withreading and taking workshops and
things like that.
But I worked very little atthat point.
Stephanie Theriault (20:14):
How long did you wait until you decided
to have a third baby?
Was your third baby planned ora surprise?
Heather Magill (20:23):
He came along three years after the second one
and again right around thetwo-year mark, we kind of felt
like we were ready for anotherone.
So we didn't really have a planstarting out of how many
children we wanted to have, butwe were just kind of seeing how
things went as we went along.
But we were trying kind ofseeing how things went as we
(20:43):
went along.
So but we were trying foranother one.
Talk to us about your thirdbirth.
Stephanie Theriault (20:47):
How did it go?
From my experience working aslike labor and delivery nurse,
like the third is like a give ortake.
It could either go super fastor no, it just takes a little
bit of time.
Heather Magill (20:58):
Yeah, I feel like that experience was a
little bit of both.
I had contractions off and on,for it felt like weeks.
It was probably close to a weekbefore things really got
started, and so that was a verydifficult time, not knowing like
waking up every morning, notknowing if this was going to be
(21:20):
it or not.
Sometimes I would spend theentire day having kind of minor
contractions and then go to bedat night thinking probably in a
couple of hours we'll be up andheading out, and then wake up
the next morning and do it allover again.
It did feel like it took a longtime, but then once things
really started getting active,it happened very quickly.
(21:42):
So I feel like I kind of gotboth.
Stephanie Theriault (21:46):
Did you deliver at Salem Hospital again?
Heather Magill (21:49):
No, we were lucky enough to be at the birth
center at Beverly For those whoare listening.
Stephanie Theriau (21:55):
Unfortunately , the birth center is no longer
open.
That's nice to hear that youwere able to take advantage of
the birth center before itclosed.
To hear that you were able totake advantage of the birth
center before it closed.
Talk to us a little bit aboutwhy you decided you had two
hospital births for your third.
Why did you decide totransition to a birth center?
Heather Magill (22:12):
By that point I had a lot more knowledge about
birth and the different waysthat births can be and what they
can look like, and I think ingeneral I tend to have a little
bit of a personal attractiontowards doing things a little
(22:35):
more naturally and lowintervention.
I've always had in the back ofmy mind a kind of low-grade
interest in doing a home birth,although circumstantially that
never really worked out for us.
The birth center was a greatcompromise, I think, in being
able to do that.
And it was just really appealingto me.
(22:56):
You know it was less of amedical environment and the
rooms at the birth center had,you know, like a real bed and
not a hospital bed and there wasa bathroom with a tub and just
you know kind of a small scalewithout so many people around
and so much going on.
Stephanie Theriault (23:20):
You to deliver the birth center.
They don't do inductions right,it's just everyone in
spontaneous labor when it comeson, or correct me if I'm wrong
(23:40):
my birth was a spontaneous.
Heather Magill (23:43):
I don't know for sure what their policy in
general was for inductions, butI didn't have one okay, how many
weeks were you when you wentinto labor with your third?
That is is a very good question.
He was full term.
I think it was right around hisbirthday.
Again, you know give or take acouple of days of his due date.
I can't remember if it was alittle bit before or a little
(24:06):
bit after.
I just remember it felt likeforever because of having
contractions for a week before Iwent into labor.
Stephanie Theriault (24:14):
So you went to the birth center, you
labored there.
Talk to us about, like, how didit feel for you to labor in a
birth center, give birth in thebirth center, have that
immediate postpartum at thebirth center compared to the
other two hospital births?
Heather Magill (24:29):
Yeah, so I was really only laboring at the
birth center for a few hours.
I think I was kind of reluctantonce things started getting
active.
I think I was kind of reluctantOnce things started getting
active I was still like kind oftrying not to get my hopes up
and my husband kind of had totalk me into like I think I
think we need to go.
And it was definitely aninteresting experience because
we had to brought our two olderkids with us and my mom was
(24:53):
driving from a couple of hoursaway to come and get them.
Things were moving very quicklyat that point so we actually
had a friend come and watch themfor the first couple of hours
before my mom could get thereand while my husband was
literally out in the parking lotswitching their car seats over,
I was afraid he was going tomiss the birth because things
were just moving that quickly.
(25:14):
I was able to labor in the tubfor a little while right after
we arrived at the birth center.
Eventually they did ask me toget out and make my way over to
the bed so that they couldmonitor him a little bit more
easily.
They had some concerns.
(25:35):
They mentioned possibly havingto transfer me over to the
hospital, but at that point Icould tell that how quickly
things were moving and I knewthat that wasn't going to happen
because he was coming very,very soon.
So my water broke on the walkfrom the tub over to the bed and
then I started pushing verysoon after that.
(25:57):
When you say concerns.
Stephanie Theriault (25:58):
Was it the fetal heart rate?
Was it meconium?
Was it blood pressures?
Do you remember what kind ofconcerns?
Heather Magill (26:07):
It's all kind of a blur, but I'm pretty sure it
was related to his heart rateand not necessarily that it was
like an immediate concern, butmore it was just something that
they were being extra watchfulof.
So that's why they asked me toget out of the tub and make my
way over to the bed so theycould keep an eye on the heart
(26:28):
rate more easily.
How long did you push?
For?
Not long, not long.
I think I was only there for atotal of maybe four hours, from
the time I walked in the doortill the time he was born.
It was actually quite funnybecause when my husband called
my mom to say that he was bornand she had arrived and picked
(26:50):
up the kids from our friends andtaken them out for pizza and
ice cream and they were stilleating, and my husband called
her and said, oh, the baby'shere.
And she thought he was jokingbecause it just happened just so
quickly, I'm curious, becausethis birth center was located on
the grounds of a hospital.
Stephanie Theriault (27:09):
After the women had delivered to the birth
center, did you stay thereovernight?
Was there like a specifictimeframe that the midwives
wanted you to stay in the birthcenter for a postpartum period?
Like in a hospital, it's 24 to48 hours.
Was that the same for the birthcenter or were they more
lenient to discharge you earlier?
Heather Magill (27:30):
There was a limit to how long you could stay
at the birth center after thebirth.
They only had, if I remembercorrectly, three beds there and
I want to say the maximum amountof time you could say after the
birth was like 10 hours or 12hours, something like that.
And then you had the option ofeither getting discharged to go
(27:50):
home or you could transfer overto the hospital and do kind of a
typical postpartum stay at thehospital after the birth,
because they, you know, like yousaid, they were all on the same
ground and I ended up choosingto do that, partly just to get a
little rest from having twochildren other children at home
who needed care, and alsobecause if we had gone home
(28:14):
right after the birth we wouldhave had to take the baby out
the next day to see thepediatrician and to do all the
checks, and we figured it wouldbe easier just to do that from
the hospital.
Stephanie Theriault (28:25):
So you have your three kids.
Now I want to hear about beinga mom with three kids and then
you start a business.
You start the infant conciergebusiness.
Being a mom with three kidsstarting a business it's hard,
right, like I like this, I lovethis, I'm going to do this and
have my own business and have myown income, and then you having
(28:45):
three kids.
Heather Magill (28:46):
Yeah, it's definitely a challenge.
I kind of consider my businessto be my fourth baby, in terms
of just the time and thecommitment that it takes to
build something like this, andsimilar to when I was pregnant
with my first baby.
I came into it with very littleknowledge of, realistically,
(29:07):
what it looks like to start abusiness and just kind of
stumbled into it in a sense, andwho knows if I would have done
things differently in hindsight,knowing what I know now.
But you know, we are where weare and it it all worked out in
the end.
It did take me uh, again threeor four years after having my
(29:29):
third baby to really startgetting momentum and getting
more into actually working andhaving a business.
While my kids were young, I diddo some other jobs child care
jobs and some other part-timejobs here and there which were
(29:52):
less demanding than starting myown business.
But I also slowly worked on mypostpartum doula certification,
working with a few clients hereand there.
I completed my certificationthrough Dona right before giving
birth to baby number three andthen, when he was around three
(30:13):
years old, I ended up alsosigning up to work with a few
agencies.
So that was very helpful for mein terms of getting more
postpartum doula work andexperience and income without
having to necessarily do as muchof the behind the scenes,
advertising and businessbuilding.
Stephanie Theriault (30:34):
For those listening to the podcast who
might not have heard of apostpartum doula what is a
postpartum doula and what arethe benefits to having a
postpartum doula?
Heather Magill (30:44):
So the benefits there are so many benefits,
obviously, to having supportafter a birth and one of the big
lessons that I learned throughmy journey is that birth and one
of the big lessons that Ilearned through my journey is
that you know, it was neverreally meant for someone to have
a baby and the whole kind ofsystem that seems so normal to
(31:05):
us, like here's your baby, takeyour baby home to an empty house
.
You know, just you, yourpartner, your baby or whatever
your family situation might be,we'll see you in six weeks.
Good luck with everything.
That's not necessarily the waythat humanity over time has
spent most of their historyhaving babies and raising their
(31:26):
babies, and just how importantit is to have that kind of
community, extended family,neighbors, whoever is around to
help support families when theyhave newborns.
And obviously for a lot of usin our society that can be much
more difficult to find or have,or there's many reasons why we
(31:48):
don't necessarily have thatcommunity and extended family
support or as much of it as weneed.
So the role of a postpartumdoula is to fill in a lot of
those gaps and to help supportfamilies that don't necessarily
have the types of supportavailable in other ways.
(32:09):
So I support families as apostpartum doula during both
daytime and overnight hours.
So for me, the majority of theclients that I support, I'm
actually in their homesovernight, helping them to get
more sleep by taking care oftheir babies overnight, and also
(32:30):
providing education on newborncare, feeding, soothing sleep
all of those things answeringquestions and being there to
support them in that way.
Also, postpartum doulas can alsosupport families during daytime
hours.
I do this a little bit as well,and that is a lot of the same
types of support education,answering questions, emotional
(32:54):
support, just with kind of allthat processing and questions or
just kind of that need to talkto someone about your birth
story or whatever happened.
And then some more hands-onthings too as well.
So I'm happy to help out withthings like laundry, loading the
dishwasher.
Sometimes I help with groceryshopping or cooking or just
(33:14):
giving mom and dad a break sothey can take a shower, go, take
a nap, just all the ways thatall the kind of daily things
that we struggle with, whilealso trying to take care of a
newborn and being another pairof hands and listening ears
during that time in your work?
Stephanie Theriault (33:42):
do you see a correlation to positive
postpartum mental health inhaving the extra support, your
extra support as a postpartumdoula in the immediate
postpartum period?
Heather Magill (33:55):
I think for sure .
Yes, and just having someoneelse around.
For me personally that was oneof the hardest parts, especially
after having my oldest andliving in a foreign country and
knowing very few people thereand just being alone with him
kind of day in and day out forweeks on end was very
(34:19):
challenging just in terms ofmental health and just kind of
getting through the day.
So I think even just havinganother person around whether
that's a friend, a family member, a neighbor or a postpartum
doula, just having someone elsethere can really be very helpful
as far as just mental healthand mood and that sort of thing.
(34:40):
And then some of the benefitsof specifically having a
postpartum doula there is thatyou have someone who is
knowledgeable and educated aboutinfant care and safety
recommendations, which may bedifferent Sometimes.
Some of the challenges, forexample, of having a parent or a
(35:01):
parent-in-law or someone elsethere to support they may not
know all of the current safetyrecommendations or different
things that people, differentways that people choose to
parent now that may be differentfrom when they were younger.
And also there's anonjudgmental aspect where I
(35:22):
support families in doingwhatever works for them and
helping them to figure out whatthey want to do, without
pressuring them to do things ina certain way.
Stephanie Theriault (35:32):
If someone is listening to the podcast and
they're located in the NorthShore, Massachusetts, and want
to learn more about you and yourservices, how can they find you
?
Heather Magill (35:42):
My website is infantconciergecom.
I'm also on Facebook andInstagram at infantconcierge.
Also I am supporting juststarting to broaden my support a
little bit, both geographicallyas well as this kind of the
stage of motherhood.
I'm getting ready to offervirtual support groups for
(36:07):
matricence specifically.
That's for new moms, but alsoany mom of any age, even up to
grandmothers, as we're allprocessing the transitions and
just the developmental aspectand our experiences as mothers
in our culture with thedifferent kind of expectations
and judgments and challengesthat we all face.
(36:29):
So that is also on my websiteas well.
Stephanie Theriault (36:32):
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Are you hosting support groupsfor moms?
Heather Magill (36:37):
locally Did.
Last year I did an in-personsupport group at Beyond Birthing
in Beverly.
I'm currently not offering thatright now, but I may be doing
that again in the future as well.
Stephanie Theriault (36:49):
Matrescence .
It's a word that's in thematernal health community, that
is circulating.
For somebody who listening andmaybe hearing this term for the
first time, what doesmatrescence mean to you?
Heather Magill (37:17):
Separately from our experiences raising our
children, which obviously is abig part of being a mother.
But I found that a lot ofpostpartum support tends to be
focused specifically onchildcare and what to buy for
baby and how to change a diaperand how to do all these things
to take care of a baby.
So for me, with my matricencesupport, I'm focused really on
(37:38):
supporting moms and helping themto just kind of be more in, you
know, in this the way that theywant to be as moms.
And so the term matrescence iskind of a parallel term to
adolescence, so it's describingthis developmental stage where
(38:00):
there's a lot of change andgrowth and development happening
and it can feel verydisorienting and chaotic and
it's not something that isnecessarily widely recognized
among the general population.
So just being able to have aword to kind of describe that
experience and to recognize itas a normal experience, I think
(38:22):
is something that for mepersonally was very helpful.
Stephanie Theriault (38:25):
Heather, it's been such a pleasure
chatting with you.
Thank you for coming on theshow.
Thank you for being vulnerableand opening up.
If anyone is interested inlearning more about Heather and
her work and matrescence, wewill have a direct link on the
episode to her website.
Thank you so much, Heather.
(38:45):
I hope you have a wonderful dayand hopefully we'll meet in
person sometime soon.
Heather Magill (38:50):
Thank you.
You too, it was lovely talkingwith you.
Stephanie Theriault (39:06):
Hey there, amazing listeners.
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need your help.
By making a donation, you'll besupporting us and bringing you
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(39:29):
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(40:12):
this.
Welcome to the Maternal Wealth Podcast, a
space for all things related tomaternal health, pregnancy and
beyond.
I'm your host, stephanie Terrio.
I'm a labor and delivery nurseand a mother to three beautiful
boys.
Each week, we dive intoinspiring stories and expert
insights to remind us of thepower that you hold in
childbirth and motherhood.
We're here to explore the joys,the challenges and the
(00:33):
complexities of maternal health.
Every mother's journey isunique and every story deserves
to be told.
Please note that this podcastis for entertainment purposes
only.
It is not intended to replaceprofessional medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment.
Always consult with yourhealthcare provider for medical
guidance that is tailored toyour specific needs.
(00:54):
Are you ready?
Let's get into.
Welcome back to the MaternalWealth Podcast.
Today, we welcome Heather McGill.
She is a mother of three and apostpartum doula and owner of
(01:16):
Infant Concierge.
Welcome to the podcast, heather.
Hi.
Thanks for having me.
Thanks for being here.
I'm so excited to chat.
Heather and I have been tryingto get together since last year
in the winter.
Finally we got something in thebook, so I'm excited to have
you here today.
One of the ways that I reallylike to start the episodes on
(01:36):
the podcast is for you to sharea little bit about yourself
before you became a mom yourselfbefore you became a mom?
Heather Magill (01:51):
Yeah, sure.
So I became a mom relativelyearly on.
I had my oldest about a yearafter I graduated from college.
Before that, yeah, I grew up ina homeschool family and then I
attended college for four years,met my husband there, and after
graduation we actually moved toSouth Korea for a year to teach
English, and then my son wasborn at the end of that year.
Stephanie Theriault (02:15):
Was your son born in Korea?
He was Did you grow up here inthe North Shore of Massachusetts
?
Heather Magill (02:21):
I grew up on Cape Cod, actually, but we've
been living on the North Shorefor Massachusetts.
I grew up on Cape Cod, actually, but we've been living on the
North Shore for 12 years now, somy kids have grown up here.
Where did you go?
Stephanie Theriault (02:32):
to college, nyack College in New York.
All right, so what led you andyour husband to decide you want
to go and teach in Korea?
Heather Magill (02:39):
We were both interested in education in
general and we did not havespecific plans for what we
wanted to do after college, sowe figured that would be
probably the best chance for usto just kind of travel and see
the world a bit and get someexperience living in a different
(03:01):
culture and just be able tosave some money and that sort of
thing.
They have a pretty big programthrough the South Korean
government for people comingfrom native English speaking
countries to come as Englishteachers, and there's a lot of
schools there that will coveryour flights and give you a
place to live as well as asalary as an English teacher.
(03:24):
So it was a great opportunityfor us.
Stephanie Theriault (03:26):
When you became pregnant in South Korea,
was it planned or was it asurprise?
It was a surprise, were youlike, okay, I'm pregnant in
South Korea.
Were you thinking about wantingto go back to the US?
Heather Magill (03:40):
or were you like , no, I'm going to do this here
back to the US or you're like no, I'm going to do this here.
We decided to stay.
I think part of the reason youknow we were more kind of
established there since we wentstraight after college.
We didn't necessarily have ahome or jobs lined up in the
United States at that point andit, I mean it was a surprise but
it wasn't totally unexpectedand it was actually kind of
(04:05):
beneficial because of that.
Just the way the healthcaresystem was there and honestly to
me, I think I was very naivegoing into it and kind of didn't
feel like it was going tonecessarily be as difficult as
it ended up being.
Stephanie Theriault (04:21):
Talk to us a little bit about the prenatal
care.
How did that look like?
Heather Magill (04:25):
Yeah, so they had we would go.
It was kind of, I guess, like aclinic type setting that we
would go to for our appointments.
My husband and I learned veryminimal Korean, but fortunately
most people who arewell-educated, such as doctors,
spoke English fairly well, andso we were able to communicate
(04:47):
with the doctors that we saw.
And I think in general,prenatal care was not very
different from how it is in theUnited States.
At that point I hadn't had ababy in the US, so I didn't
really have anything to compareit too.
But one thing that I did noticeis that they would check on the
baby using ultrasound basicallyevery visit, and would even
(05:10):
share some of those recordingswith us.
Stephanie Theriault (05:12):
Were the visits with OBs or midwives.
Heather Magill (05:17):
I think they were OBs, but because of the
communication barrier we didn'treally go into a lot of those
specifics and that even wasn'treally something that I was
educated that much about, aboutthe differences and things like
that at that point.
Stephanie Theriault (05:33):
When it came time for labor, were you
induced or did you go into labornaturally?
Heather Magill (05:40):
I went into labor, naturally, my water broke
actually before labor started,and then we headed to the
hospital and contractionsstarted within a couple of hours
, do you?
Stephanie Theriault (05:51):
remember how many weeks you were, more or
less.
Heather Magill (05:54):
It was.
Yeah, it was after my due date,I think about six, six days or
so.
No, it was before.
I'm sorry, it was six daysbefore my due date.
Sorry, it's been 17 years sothe details are a little fussy.
But yeah, no, he came almost aweek early.
Stephanie Theriault (06:13):
You broke your water, you went to the
hospital and then contractionsjust came on, naturally.
Heather Magill (06:18):
Yeah, within a couple of hours it was.
It went pretty smoothly.
Stephanie Theriault (06:22):
As far as you know, there weren't really
any sort of major complicationsor anything like that being in a
different country and havingmedical personnel take care of
you who, as you mentioned, yourKorean was so so you had to
learn so much.
How was that for you?
Going through birth?
This is your first time, right?
(06:44):
So even if you're in a countryand with people who speak your
language, how was thatexperience for you?
Heather Magill (06:50):
I think in hindsight it's a lot scarier
than it was at the time.
I really did not have any ideawhat I was getting myself into.
Like I said I was fortunatethat things went relatively
smoothly.
Now, knowing what I know now, Ican see all the places where
things could have been moredifficult.
But in general I think it wentpretty well.
(07:14):
It was a little bit of adifferent experience.
They didn't have private roomsfor laboring in, so it's just a
room full of beds with curtainsin between.
So that was definitelydifferent than my experiences
after.
That didn't have a lot ofeducation as far as you know the
(07:49):
best ways to labor and thingslike that.
So I was in a bed the wholetime and so that was a little.
I can see now that I could haveprobably done things
differently, but it all workedout in the end.
Stephanie Theriault (07:57):
How about your postpartum period?
Like the immediate postpartumperiod?
How long were you in thehospital?
And then talk to us a littlebit about first couple months
being with a newborn in SouthKorea.
Heather Magill (08:07):
Yeah, I think I was in the hospital for maybe
three or four days.
They actually.
I feel that the laborexperience was maybe a little
bit more similar to somethingthat might have happened in an
American hospital a few decadesago.
But the postpartum experiencewas very supportive in that they
did have private rooms, hadtraditional foods that I
(08:33):
actually didn't eat that much ofbecause it wasn't my tradition
and some things were notnecessarily to my taste, but it
was very high qualitytraditional foods that they
served.
They had different services,such as massage and stuff that I
was not able to take advantageof just because of the
communication barriers, but Ifelt very well supported in the
(08:55):
hospital.
Coming home from the hospitalwas a little bit more tricky for
me.
The culture is set up there sothat new moms get a lot of their
support from extended familyand sometimes they even go back
home and live with their parentsor things like that after the
(09:15):
birth for a little while.
So there's not a lot of spacein the culture for partner
support and my husband ended upgoing back to work within just a
couple of days of the birth, sothat made it difficult for me
not having my other familymembers and support around, so
(09:36):
that was harder for me than Iexpected, but I was fortunate
that my mom was able to come andvisit and stay with us for a
few weeks after the birth.
The only challenge with thatwas that she had to book her
tickets in advance, obviously,and the first couple of weeks
was just me, and then, when shearrived, that was very, very
(09:56):
helpful for me.
Stephanie Theriault (09:57):
How long were you in South Korea after
you had your first child?
Heather Magill (10:02):
We came home when he was about three months
old, were you?
Stephanie Theriault (10:05):
already planning to come home, or did
you decide to come home afteryou had your child?
Heather Magill (10:11):
Yeah.
So we had signed a contract fora year and I had to end my
contract early because of havinghim.
My husband stayed for the fullyear contract and then we headed
home.
If we hadn't have had a kid, wemight have stayed for a second
year, but that was the bestchoice for us at the time.
Stephanie Theriault (10:31):
Did you come back to the North Shore of
Massachusetts?
Heather Magill (10:34):
We actually flew back to Florida, which is where
my in-laws live, and we stayedwith them for a couple of weeks,
so they got to meet the babyand everything.
And then we traveled fromFlorida back to Massachusetts
and we lived for a little whilewith my mom in her house before
(10:54):
we got our own place.
Stephanie Theriault (10:56):
For your second child.
Was there any thoughts of youwanting to go into maternal
health, becoming a postpartumdoula in the interim or just a
journey after you had your othertwo children?
Heather Magill (11:10):
No, this was a journey that started pretty soon
after I had my first.
There was a lot to processafter the birth, just in terms
of my own experiences, just interms of my own experiences, and
I did feel like I was kind ofblindsided just by how
challenging it was to be a momto a newborn.
I kind of figured ahead of time.
(11:32):
I had babysitting experience, Iwas comfortable being around
kids and babies, so it should befine.
Obviously, becoming a mom isvery different than being a
babysitter and that is somethingthat I kind of didn't realize
until I was in the thick of it.
And it was during that timegoing online, reading different
(11:53):
experiences, kind of processingmy own experience that I came
across the idea of being apostpartum doula and that really
resonated with me because itwas a very similar support role
to my experience with my momwhen she was able to visit.
So that's kind of when the ideafirst came into my head and I
was exploring what I wanted todo with my life after college
(12:17):
and everything like that.
But it definitely was a slowprocess and it took a few years
to even get started on that forme.
Stephanie Theriault (12:26):
Before we get into the birth story of your
second child.
We all experience our owndifficulties or challenges and
hardships in the postpartumperiod.
For those who are listening,who aren't mothers yet, what are
some of the specific challengesthat you faced that made you
want to become a postpartumdoula?
Heather Magill (12:46):
That's a good question, I think.
Looking back in hindsight, Ithink something that I really
struggled with was anxiety, andat the time that wasn't really
something that I necessarily wasable to identify or understand
that.
Maybe it was a little bitoutside of the normal experience
, but it definitely justaffected my sleep and kind of my
(13:11):
ability to just to be fullypresent during that time.
And then the other concept thathas really helped me a lot in
hindsight and that I'm focusinga lot of my support on now is
just the idea of matrescence andkind of the natural
developmental changes that comeas we become moms.
(13:32):
And it's very interesting to mebecause originally I just kind
of imagined that having a babywould just be, then my life
would be me with the baby in it,and really there's so much more
that shifts kind offundamentally physically,
emotionally, the way you viewyourself and your place in the
(13:53):
world.
That comes when you become amom.
And so just that whole conceptof matrescence has really been
helpful for me, that wholeconcept of matrescence has
really been helpful for me.
For your baby number two.
How long did you wait beforeyou decided to have another
child?
So my kids are all three yearsapart and it definitely took a
solid two years after having myfirst and several months to a
(14:17):
year of more consistent sleepbefore I felt like I was even
ready to start thinking abouthaving a second one.
So, yeah, when he was aroundtwo is when we decided to think
about having another one.
Stephanie Theriault (14:38):
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outcome.
How was the pregnancy for you?
Having one at home and beingpregnant with your second child?
Heather Magill (16:00):
It was definitely more challenging in
terms of just you know, goingthrough the physical demands of
pregnancy while also taking careof a two-year-old, but overall
it was pretty smooth.
Stephanie Theriault (16:15):
Where did you decide to deliver and then
did you have a midwife or anOBGYN for your birth provider?
Heather Magill (16:22):
So by the time I was pregnant for the second
time which I also actually endedup doing my original postpartum
doula training during thatpregnancy and by then we were
living on the North shore.
We moved up to Salem Originally, my husband ended up going to
(16:43):
Salem state to get his master'sdegree, and so that was also
going on during this pregnancy,and my daughter was born at
Salem Hospital.
I think the person who wasthere at the birth was an OB,
but I saw everyone in thepractice throughout my pregnancy
(17:05):
, so I think there was at leastone midwife that I saw for some
of my prenatal visits, as wellas the OBs, and actually my
daughter will be 14 on Monday,so her birth was almost exactly
14 years ago.
Stephanie Theriault (17:18):
Did you have another vaginal?
Heather Magill (17:19):
delivery.
Yes, I did have a vaginaldelivery and that one was
unmedicated.
I ended up having an epiduralwith my first.
Like I had mentioned, I reallywasn't educated on different
options and there wasn't a lotof options available in that
hospital in Korea.
I was open to trying itunmedicated for the second time.
(17:43):
We also had a birth doula withus for the second birth, so that
was very helpful and it alsowas fairly quick, so I did not
end up getting an epidural.
Stephanie Theriault (17:55):
And was this also a spontaneous labor
and not an abduction?
Heather Magill (18:02):
Yes, so her position.
She was transverse for a littlewhile towards the end of the
pregnancy so we thought we mayhave to end up having a
C-section.
But she moved heads down and itwas spontaneous, and that time
it was actually a few days aftermy due date.
Stephanie Theriault (18:21):
And then talk to us about your postpartum
period.
So in between the two, yourfirst and your second you've
done some research.
You now trained to be apostpartum doula.
Did you find through yourresearch and your certifications
helped you with the transitionthe second time around into the
postpartum period with two?
Heather Magill (18:42):
I definitely think I was better able to
prepare and it helped a lot thatI was living close by to my
sister at the time and my momwas just a couple of hours away,
maybe an hour drive away, andwe just we did have more support
around that time.
My, my husband also had notonly more flexibility in his
(19:03):
schedule but he was also moreaware of what we were getting
into and the types of support wewould need and he was more
comfortable.
He had very, very littleexperience taking care of babies
or young children before we hadour first, so by the time the
second one came around, he hadmore experience with that as
well, and so that was veryhelpful.
(19:24):
And, yeah, I think I justemotionally I did feel more
stable during the second one, toless surprised by the intensity
of the experience.
Stephanie Theriault (19:37):
After your second child, were you working
with other moms as a postpartumdoula?
Were you working with othermoms as a postpartum doula.
Heather Magill (19:43):
No, I really didn't start doing that.
I worked very slightly duringthose years with maybe two
clients a year.
When my kids were very little,I was the primary caregiver for
them while my husband wasworking and in grad school and I
was doing other types ofeducation to support my
(20:05):
postpartum doula journey withreading and taking workshops and
things like that.
But I worked very little atthat point.
Stephanie Theriault (20:14):
How long did you wait until you decided
to have a third baby?
Was your third baby planned ora surprise?
Heather Magill (20:23):
He came along three years after the second one
and again right around thetwo-year mark, we kind of felt
like we were ready for anotherone.
So we didn't really have a planstarting out of how many
children we wanted to have, butwe were just kind of seeing how
things went as we went along.
But we were trying kind ofseeing how things went as we
(20:43):
went along.
So but we were trying foranother one.
Talk to us about your thirdbirth.
Stephanie Theriault (20:47):
How did it go?
From my experience working aslike labor and delivery nurse,
like the third is like a give ortake.
It could either go super fastor no, it just takes a little
bit of time.
Heather Magill (20:58):
Yeah, I feel like that experience was a
little bit of both.
I had contractions off and on,for it felt like weeks.
It was probably close to a weekbefore things really got
started, and so that was a verydifficult time, not knowing like
waking up every morning, notknowing if this was going to be
(21:20):
it or not.
Sometimes I would spend theentire day having kind of minor
contractions and then go to bedat night thinking probably in a
couple of hours we'll be up andheading out, and then wake up
the next morning and do it allover again.
It did feel like it took a longtime, but then once things
really started getting active,it happened very quickly.
(21:42):
So I feel like I kind of gotboth.
Stephanie Theriault (21:46):
Did you deliver at Salem Hospital again?
Heather Magill (21:49):
No, we were lucky enough to be at the birth
center at Beverly For those whoare listening.
Stephanie Theriau (21:55):
Unfortunately , the birth center is no longer
open.
That's nice to hear that youwere able to take advantage of
the birth center before itclosed.
To hear that you were able totake advantage of the birth
center before it closed.
Talk to us a little bit aboutwhy you decided you had two
hospital births for your third.
Why did you decide totransition to a birth center?
Heather Magill (22:12):
By that point I had a lot more knowledge about
birth and the different waysthat births can be and what they
can look like, and I think ingeneral I tend to have a little
bit of a personal attractiontowards doing things a little
(22:35):
more naturally and lowintervention.
I've always had in the back ofmy mind a kind of low-grade
interest in doing a home birth,although circumstantially that
never really worked out for us.
The birth center was a greatcompromise, I think, in being
able to do that.
And it was just really appealingto me.
(22:56):
You know it was less of amedical environment and the
rooms at the birth center had,you know, like a real bed and
not a hospital bed and there wasa bathroom with a tub and just
you know kind of a small scalewithout so many people around
and so much going on.
Stephanie Theriault (23:20):
You to deliver the birth center.
They don't do inductions right,it's just everyone in
spontaneous labor when it comeson, or correct me if I'm wrong
(23:40):
my birth was a spontaneous.
Heather Magill (23:43):
I don't know for sure what their policy in
general was for inductions, butI didn't have one okay, how many
weeks were you when you wentinto labor with your third?
That is is a very good question.
He was full term.
I think it was right around hisbirthday.
Again, you know give or take acouple of days of his due date.
I can't remember if it was alittle bit before or a little
(24:06):
bit after.
I just remember it felt likeforever because of having
contractions for a week before Iwent into labor.
Stephanie Theriault (24:14):
So you went to the birth center, you
labored there.
Talk to us about, like, how didit feel for you to labor in a
birth center, give birth in thebirth center, have that
immediate postpartum at thebirth center compared to the
other two hospital births?
Heather Magill (24:29):
Yeah, so I was really only laboring at the
birth center for a few hours.
I think I was kind of reluctantonce things started getting
active.
I think I was kind of reluctantOnce things started getting
active I was still like kind oftrying not to get my hopes up
and my husband kind of had totalk me into like I think I
think we need to go.
And it was definitely aninteresting experience because
we had to brought our two olderkids with us and my mom was
(24:53):
driving from a couple of hoursaway to come and get them.
Things were moving very quicklyat that point so we actually
had a friend come and watch themfor the first couple of hours
before my mom could get thereand while my husband was
literally out in the parking lotswitching their car seats over,
I was afraid he was going tomiss the birth because things
were just moving that quickly.
(25:14):
I was able to labor in the tubfor a little while right after
we arrived at the birth center.
Eventually they did ask me toget out and make my way over to
the bed so that they couldmonitor him a little bit more
easily.
They had some concerns.
(25:35):
They mentioned possibly havingto transfer me over to the
hospital, but at that point Icould tell that how quickly
things were moving and I knewthat that wasn't going to happen
because he was coming very,very soon.
So my water broke on the walkfrom the tub over to the bed and
then I started pushing verysoon after that.
(25:57):
When you say concerns.
Stephanie Theriault (25:58):
Was it the fetal heart rate?
Was it meconium?
Was it blood pressures?
Do you remember what kind ofconcerns?
Heather Magill (26:07):
It's all kind of a blur, but I'm pretty sure it
was related to his heart rateand not necessarily that it was
like an immediate concern, butmore it was just something that
they were being extra watchfulof.
So that's why they asked me toget out of the tub and make my
way over to the bed so theycould keep an eye on the heart
(26:28):
rate more easily.
How long did you push?
For?
Not long, not long.
I think I was only there for atotal of maybe four hours, from
the time I walked in the doortill the time he was born.
It was actually quite funnybecause when my husband called
my mom to say that he was bornand she had arrived and picked
(26:50):
up the kids from our friends andtaken them out for pizza and
ice cream and they were stilleating, and my husband called
her and said, oh, the baby'shere.
And she thought he was jokingbecause it just happened just so
quickly, I'm curious, becausethis birth center was located on
the grounds of a hospital.
Stephanie Theriault (27:09):
After the women had delivered to the birth
center, did you stay thereovernight?
Was there like a specifictimeframe that the midwives
wanted you to stay in the birthcenter for a postpartum period?
Like in a hospital, it's 24 to48 hours.
Was that the same for the birthcenter or were they more
lenient to discharge you earlier?
Heather Magill (27:30):
There was a limit to how long you could stay
at the birth center after thebirth.
They only had, if I remembercorrectly, three beds there and
I want to say the maximum amountof time you could say after the
birth was like 10 hours or 12hours, something like that.
And then you had the option ofeither getting discharged to go
(27:50):
home or you could transfer overto the hospital and do kind of a
typical postpartum stay at thehospital after the birth,
because they, you know, like yousaid, they were all on the same
ground and I ended up choosingto do that, partly just to get a
little rest from having twochildren other children at home
who needed care, and alsobecause if we had gone home
(28:14):
right after the birth we wouldhave had to take the baby out
the next day to see thepediatrician and to do all the
checks, and we figured it wouldbe easier just to do that from
the hospital.
Stephanie Theriault (28:25):
So you have your three kids.
Now I want to hear about beinga mom with three kids and then
you start a business.
You start the infant conciergebusiness.
Being a mom with three kidsstarting a business it's hard,
right, like I like this, I lovethis, I'm going to do this and
have my own business and have myown income, and then you having
(28:45):
three kids.
Heather Magill (28:46):
Yeah, it's definitely a challenge.
I kind of consider my businessto be my fourth baby, in terms
of just the time and thecommitment that it takes to
build something like this, andsimilar to when I was pregnant
with my first baby.
I came into it with very littleknowledge of, realistically,
(29:07):
what it looks like to start abusiness and just kind of
stumbled into it in a sense, andwho knows if I would have done
things differently in hindsight,knowing what I know now.
But you know, we are where weare and it it all worked out in
the end.
It did take me uh, again threeor four years after having my
(29:29):
third baby to really startgetting momentum and getting
more into actually working andhaving a business.
While my kids were young, I diddo some other jobs child care
jobs and some other part-timejobs here and there which were
(29:52):
less demanding than starting myown business.
But I also slowly worked on mypostpartum doula certification,
working with a few clients hereand there.
I completed my certificationthrough Dona right before giving
birth to baby number three andthen, when he was around three
(30:13):
years old, I ended up alsosigning up to work with a few
agencies.
So that was very helpful for mein terms of getting more
postpartum doula work andexperience and income without
having to necessarily do as muchof the behind the scenes,
advertising and businessbuilding.
Stephanie Theriault (30:34):
For those listening to the podcast who
might not have heard of apostpartum doula what is a
postpartum doula and what arethe benefits to having a
postpartum doula?
Heather Magill (30:44):
So the benefits there are so many benefits,
obviously, to having supportafter a birth and one of the big
lessons that I learned throughmy journey is that birth and one
of the big lessons that Ilearned through my journey is
that you know, it was neverreally meant for someone to have
a baby and the whole kind ofsystem that seems so normal to
(31:05):
us, like here's your baby, takeyour baby home to an empty house
.
You know, just you, yourpartner, your baby or whatever
your family situation might be,we'll see you in six weeks.
Good luck with everything.
That's not necessarily the waythat humanity over time has
spent most of their historyhaving babies and raising their
(31:26):
babies, and just how importantit is to have that kind of
community, extended family,neighbors, whoever is around to
help support families when theyhave newborns.
And obviously for a lot of usin our society that can be much
more difficult to find or have,or there's many reasons why we
(31:48):
don't necessarily have thatcommunity and extended family
support or as much of it as weneed.
So the role of a postpartumdoula is to fill in a lot of
those gaps and to help supportfamilies that don't necessarily
have the types of supportavailable in other ways.
(32:09):
So I support families as apostpartum doula during both
daytime and overnight hours.
So for me, the majority of theclients that I support, I'm
actually in their homesovernight, helping them to get
more sleep by taking care oftheir babies overnight, and also
(32:30):
providing education on newborncare, feeding, soothing sleep
all of those things answeringquestions and being there to
support them in that way.
Also, postpartum doulas can alsosupport families during daytime
hours.
I do this a little bit as well,and that is a lot of the same
types of support education,answering questions, emotional
(32:54):
support, just with kind of allthat processing and questions or
just kind of that need to talkto someone about your birth
story or whatever happened.
And then some more hands-onthings too as well.
So I'm happy to help out withthings like laundry, loading the
dishwasher.
Sometimes I help with groceryshopping or cooking or just
(33:14):
giving mom and dad a break sothey can take a shower, go, take
a nap, just all the ways thatall the kind of daily things
that we struggle with, whilealso trying to take care of a
newborn and being another pairof hands and listening ears
during that time in your work?
Stephanie Theriault (33:42):
do you see a correlation to positive
postpartum mental health inhaving the extra support, your
extra support as a postpartumdoula in the immediate
postpartum period?
Heather Magill (33:55):
I think for sure .
Yes, and just having someoneelse around.
For me personally that was oneof the hardest parts, especially
after having my oldest andliving in a foreign country and
knowing very few people thereand just being alone with him
kind of day in and day out forweeks on end was very
(34:19):
challenging just in terms ofmental health and just kind of
getting through the day.
So I think even just havinganother person around whether
that's a friend, a family member, a neighbor or a postpartum
doula, just having someone elsethere can really be very helpful
as far as just mental healthand mood and that sort of thing.
(34:40):
And then some of the benefitsof specifically having a
postpartum doula there is thatyou have someone who is
knowledgeable and educated aboutinfant care and safety
recommendations, which may bedifferent Sometimes.
Some of the challenges, forexample, of having a parent or a
(35:01):
parent-in-law or someone elsethere to support they may not
know all of the current safetyrecommendations or different
things that people, differentways that people choose to
parent now that may be differentfrom when they were younger.
And also there's anonjudgmental aspect where I
(35:22):
support families in doingwhatever works for them and
helping them to figure out whatthey want to do, without
pressuring them to do things ina certain way.
Stephanie Theriault (35:32):
If someone is listening to the podcast and
they're located in the NorthShore, Massachusetts, and want
to learn more about you and yourservices, how can they find you
?
Heather Magill (35:42):
My website is infantconciergecom.
I'm also on Facebook andInstagram at infantconcierge.
Also I am supporting juststarting to broaden my support a
little bit, both geographicallyas well as this kind of the
stage of motherhood.
I'm getting ready to offervirtual support groups for
(36:07):
matricence specifically.
That's for new moms, but alsoany mom of any age, even up to
grandmothers, as we're allprocessing the transitions and
just the developmental aspectand our experiences as mothers
in our culture with thedifferent kind of expectations
and judgments and challengesthat we all face.
(36:29):
So that is also on my websiteas well.
Stephanie Theriault (36:32):
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Are you hosting support groupsfor moms?
Heather Magill (36:37):
locally Did.
Last year I did an in-personsupport group at Beyond Birthing
in Beverly.
I'm currently not offering thatright now, but I may be doing
that again in the future as well.
Stephanie Theriault (36:49):
Matrescence .
It's a word that's in thematernal health community, that
is circulating.
For somebody who listening andmaybe hearing this term for the
first time, what doesmatrescence mean to you?
Heather Magill (37:17):
Separately from our experiences raising our
children, which obviously is abig part of being a mother.
But I found that a lot ofpostpartum support tends to be
focused specifically onchildcare and what to buy for
baby and how to change a diaperand how to do all these things
to take care of a baby.
So for me, with my matricencesupport, I'm focused really on
(37:38):
supporting moms and helping themto just kind of be more in, you
know, in this the way that theywant to be as moms.
And so the term matrescence iskind of a parallel term to
adolescence, so it's describingthis developmental stage where
(38:00):
there's a lot of change andgrowth and development happening
and it can feel verydisorienting and chaotic and
it's not something that isnecessarily widely recognized
among the general population.
So just being able to have aword to kind of describe that
experience and to recognize itas a normal experience, I think
(38:22):
is something that for mepersonally was very helpful.
Stephanie Theriault (38:25):
Heather, it's been such a pleasure
chatting with you.
Thank you for coming on theshow.
Thank you for being vulnerableand opening up.
If anyone is interested inlearning more about Heather and
her work and matrescence, wewill have a direct link on the
episode to her website.
Thank you so much, Heather.
(38:45):
I hope you have a wonderful dayand hopefully we'll meet in
person sometime soon.
Heather Magill (38:50):
Thank you.
You too, it was lovely talkingwith you.
Stephanie Theriault (39:06):
Hey there, amazing listeners.
If you love what we do and wantto see our podcast grow, we
need your help.
By making a donation, you'll besupporting us and bringing you
even more great content.
I truly believe creating thisspace for women all across the
globe to share their story willallow us to collectively heal,
grow and become more empoweredin the space that we deserve to
(39:29):
be.
Motherhood, womanhood andhowever that looks and feels for
each and every one of us, Everycontribution, big or small,
will make a huge difference.
If you can head over to supportus today, there's a link in the
bio to support the podcast.
From the bottom of my heart,thank you for being a part of
this journey.
(39:49):
Be sure to check out our socialmedia.
All links are provided in theepisode description.
We're excited to have you here.
Please give us a follow.
If you or someone you knowwould like to be a guest on the
show, reach out to us via emailat info at maternalwealthcom.
And remember stay healthy,embrace your power and you got
(40:12):
this.
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