Se Lavi De Moi: By 9 Initiative book analyzation

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
My energy, ecliptic, loves circle persona.

(00:14):
Self love, best love, world love.
You know my honor.
Greetings, Diabia host, Jim S. Peter Bastion, and peace, prosperity, power.
It's my honor to share my affirmations, visualizations, and unicense manifestations, and all satisfactions.

(00:43):
The mind, body, and soul is to grow in all facades.
Resin it in procreation. This is MB-90 podcast show.
May you be at peace in whatever the action is proclaiming,
Ascending the greatness of all satisfaction like your goze bull's eye, your actions the dart,

(01:07):
believing you no matter the ending or the start for your life, must you claim it.
Selavi de moi by 9th initiative.
My first born in literature creation, biography, spirituality, self-help.

(01:37):
This book I can never glance and create an audio version of, as you will read, or should I say here, shortly.
For me, I've placed in the introduction of such book that it's an opportunity for me in powers,

(02:00):
in regards to the inner voice, in regards to the visualization of the words becoming actions to you.
So for me, when you're able to read something, I feel like there's a lot more poise that's

(02:20):
combined amongst the vision of the words becoming life into your mind,
as well as the sounding of your inner voice, regurgitating these words that, for me at least,
alleviate these words to be more meaningful to me, rather if I was to be hearing it for someone else.

(02:45):
I think an audio version of reading, at least for me, it allows me to diverse,
diversely engage in different things, and socially at least that's what we love about
audio books or audio reading is that you're able to multitask, but at least for me,

(03:06):
when I'm listening in audio version of books and things of that factor, I found myself less
connected with the words because I can visualize. I do still hold a power of visual
visualization of the words, but within my own mind, reading that inner voice, that golly voice

(03:35):
reading material always goes to me being able to put my eyes into the words that place the inner
voice to speak out, or either my other voice to whisper or verbally directly say the words
that's written to me. So for me, that causation in reading is a lot more

(03:58):
powerful and the proponents that it carries to where I never set to just establish my
my first born, like I said, Sylla V. Des Moines by Nynish Initiative as a as an audio book aspect.
So today what I'll be doing is doing, I guess, essentially a review of the books

(04:24):
and the different chapters, which is decoded through initiatives and such to where I can
I'll do my best and give you some either like quotations, sentences like that, but
but merely for me to mirror the words in exact totality and reading out to you won't be something

(04:48):
that I'll be doing today, but like I said, I'll do my best to give you all the different
Nynish Initiative. May read a couple poetry that's established within the book as well.
So to give you a glimpse of that beginning, there is I guess a short synthesis of the book
which kind of derive in explaining the author biography aspect of Jim S. Peter Bastian.

(05:15):
So I'll read that out to you in fully into a talent totality. Sylla V. Des Moines by Nynish Initiative.
I am life from the essence of birth. Though I have not experienced life through the existence
of death, but through birth only, I only lived around a surrounding which fears death. I am

(05:38):
time in effect to my causes. I learned more about mine than through body. The body can only be at
one place, whereas the mind can travel by the seconds. A jack to my nothing, a master of all,
although nothing but all, all but nothing. Jim S. Bastian is a melanin man with ancestral

(06:01):
background of an African bloodline trace from the Levi tribe, one of the 12 from Judah.
Location is set from Yeruba, Benin, a town in west of Nigeria. This place me forward to a land
known prior as Saint Dominique. Later changed to IOT, the land of mountain where the biggest slave

(06:24):
revolt was established by the effort for change. From where the name was executed to define the
people and of their wrongdoings, the land of hate, those who hate themselves became known to the
world as Haiti. I'm now feeling the the effect of an eastern mind with my body being in the west.

(06:46):
Hemispheres have energies and spirits that have significant similarities but difference by values.
As an author, athlete, musician, actor, entertainer, my biggest gift to the universe is creating.
I create on the aspect of things that can enhance our experience universally. If you cannot assist

(07:09):
for the better, I simply respect this for what it's for. I do not build to destroy the action of
my opposition. Self-love, best love, let's create world love. So in this process, this will that
will be the ending of a self-guidance that goes into the continuation. I would go to you the

(07:33):
breakdown of the pages. You have the introduction that starts on page four. Initiative one, which is
one of one that starts on page 12. Initiative two, simplicity, which starts on page 24.
Initiative three, spirit versus war flash. Page 29. Initiative four, I sleep when I die.

(07:58):
Page 35. Initiative five, a power feels like you. Page 46. Initiative six, the young old man.
Page 51. Initiative seven, daring true. Page 55. Initiative eight, infinite love.

(08:18):
Page 64. Initiative nine, the transition. Page 68. Conclusion, there's none. Page 75. We have some
poetry from page 78 all the way down to what is called basterie, also known as glossaries
for definitions, which starts and ends, which starts on page 117 and ends the book with the

(08:43):
basterie. So that what goes into that. I will read off a little bit on the introduction
to give you a more glimpse of my idealization of viewership in that regards. So in the introduction,
Mr. Baction, which who's I starts off as speaking on to how some pain, some external or internal

(09:18):
pain may be felt, viewed amongst these direct truths, which is being his truth. So in that regards,
he simply directly opposed the idealization that his life is a little different than most people.
They just think clearly freely from his own spectrum of understanding.

(09:42):
But another big viewpoint from this introduction is from a bedroom of his Malik, Malik, Malik
Dixon, who was a former coworker at Nike, who really man, all do I knew literature was in me.

(10:02):
I got to give him so much credit because what was in me that was so free to be exposed outward?
He really put me in to that state of mind that I should have always been in, right? The writer.
Yeah, he just really helped me galvanize the idealization. Bro, you got an amazing story, man.
You got a whole life path that set different than most people, you know what I'm saying? And

(10:30):
that day really gave me a prideful viewership of my life. That day gave me a viewer understanding
that like, hey, nobody's perfect, but the life that you live in is perfect for you.
And the goal that you have is attainable for you, you know what I'm saying? And he just really
placed that battery, like I say, in my back for most time for me, having to charge myself up with

(10:56):
me, having to take out the old battery and placing the new battery there myself. But to get
assistance from someone else in great disunity and say, hey, let me help you out. I got you,
bro, you don't got to do nothing much. I'll place that battery in your back. I'll recharge that for
you, you know what I'm saying? So much love to him. And I definitely had to oppose that

(11:21):
comprehension, like I said, in that regards that he propelled upon me in that time frame.
You know what I'm saying? Like I said, another big viewpoints I wanted to speak on,
you know what, I will actually read a little bit in that regards. And I'll tell you what I mean by that.

(11:45):
Self, in the book introduction, there's a part of it where I say self, I was spelled as self,
C-E-E-L-F. Reasoning, I would say, is my understanding of cells being means of different
particles working as one unit. Definitely not the scientific definition. I can bet that

(12:06):
certain number on by definition of cells. But my direct response to that is life is in the
eye of the beholder. I see myself as millions of pieces unified by the flesh which is hidden
within my spirit and mind. We all know we don't live the same in the same home, different countries,

(12:27):
but maneuver, however, smells the same. Something about nature just made me think. Nothing is
different if at the end of the stick is only opposite. I mean, it's opposite different when
unity is the middle ground between the both parties. So to re-explain that, self, as we

(12:50):
learn in English definition, it's S-E-L-L-F. And we have cells that kind of decode the
million particles that makes the one human anatomy of the body right cells. It's multi-means
that it makes that. I looked at two place cells and self, the two wording into one,

(13:14):
you know, like I say spelling self with S-C-E-L-F to apply myself, like I said,
in knowing that we're as one being, multi-means and millions of cells that makes the one body,
you know what I'm saying? So instead of separating myself, I look at myself as one cell of self

(13:43):
and totality. If that makes sense to you, hopefully it did. Hopefully it didn't go over your head.
Also, another notion that I had in the book is also my decision of cursing. I decide not to curse
in that, in this right material so that it can be diversely acceptable to any age range and also

(14:06):
not be limited by somebody else, uprising to feel like, hey, if it doesn't, if it has this,
I guess, profanity, then I'm not giving it a chance. I wanted to have no excuse
rather than education. I do also would honestly omit as well that I use different

(14:30):
ghetto language, hood language, term language, things like that or like I said, my own linguistic
ways of spelling things only because one, this is my book, two, it's my views of my
uprising and my life, right? So yeah, I could want to be, I guess, a scholar for everybody

(14:53):
else in that viewership perspective, but also every scholar is not going to be the one that's
reading this book. It's going to be somebody that just need a different view of what life can be for
them that may not have no adequate universal backgrounds, things like that, but they're a

(15:14):
student of life and they want to find a simplistic way or learning different ways of things and that's
what I wanted to assure that the book can provide. And like I said, another
big notion for me in that introduction and just hold on with me because I'm trying to like

(15:36):
find it directly and the reason to kind of work for word explain to you why I decided not to make
this a writing, I did not, I decided not to make this a writing, I'm sorry, a reading material,

(15:57):
something I didn't want to read is because like I said, there's many virtues of your own
power that's taken sometime if I am to read this out to you, you know what I'm saying?
So for me, let me go ahead and find that, let's see right here, okay, perfect. You know what,

(16:24):
before I even go to just directly explain that, let me, I'll give you a little bit more depth in
the introduction and why that went in that route for me. Okay, so starting this paragraph and
in the introduction, I go off and say, celebrity, I've read and comply to understand to be if ever

(16:52):
was the first language. If truly language breaks down to connecting through connection,
the idea of using our eyes, hand, nose, mouth, feet, sounds, nature and many more option as a way
to communicate seem just about right that celebrity first stood ground. Then language came along and

(17:12):
said, I have a dream that one day we all be separated by the forces invested by died, differences
governed by choices, having humanity pick on one another until I see dead flies everywhere.
That language for is no joke. Do you hear me? Very probable you can hear me because your mind

(17:37):
has a voice when you read that makes out a voice within you while reading this art and writing
illustration. So I will not be doing an audio book self reflection state the experience for your
understanding is better if I leave it. If I leave this for you only as a reading material,

(18:00):
rather audio or visual, of course, it will be easier for you to use. Of course, it will be easier
for you through audio and video, but I rather train you to use your powers, not distort them away
and forgetting your ability like I was, or they thought I would they put to rest my birth parents

(18:22):
who wanted me to fell they is an excuse to they there they is it is an excuse to talk I have no
excuses. I only have a reason to speak. I'm direct no change elephants in my sermon. I am to free
minds and up their spirits. I need your attention with your eyes with these words, but your vision

(18:44):
and voice, I owe you the favor to not take away your powers of your imagination epiphany and most
importantly, your perspective on what you feel. So there you have it. And that for me is why I just
couldn't fully capture myself making this a this book of minds and audio because I don't at least

(19:17):
for me, I found potency when I read things because I hear myself and here myself read something to
me connects more a lot more for me amongst whatever I'm reading rather than hearing it out. I think
hearing it out of course at times I'm a visual I'm a visualizer right so in any conversation

(19:40):
any in any words there are pictures there that are like pink brushes being you know being strokes
left and right so long as what being said that I can actually put into vision or or like again over
the conversation is like a movie being played in my head by what's being said and done right.
So I get that but for me in a lot of ways it just doesn't cost so for me in the educational ways

(20:09):
again with the the hearing the the the the seeing the feeling the the the all the very variation that
that very very all of various ways that you can learn from reading I feel like audio books
handle us because in our society we're trying so hard to multitask and do so many things that
once that yeah that's cool that you was able to read it or I'm sorry listen to it just that

(20:36):
and third but were you able to connect to it as much as you should right so I try my best to actually
use all my senses to the highest of its capabilities and doing something at its best potential
right and doing something and getting it completed but only really getting maybe 40 to 50 percent of

(21:00):
the maximum 40 to 50 percent of out of 100 of the maximum capability or effort I could have got
out of it you know I'm saying so for me that's really what I need to really it's been years people
been asking me because I wrote this book back in 2020 so you're looking about four years of five

(21:21):
years excuse me where yeah bro what's up man do audio book I'm like nah that's not what it's not
that's not what it's made for so hopefully you got that conversation and hopefully and it's a great
now of such introduction you're able to comply with me more and knowing my reasoning behind
cool all right cool so we move on to initiative one which is titled one of one

(21:49):
and this initiative I pretty much saw in this book like I said it decodes in three genres
biography spirituality self-help and I didn't do chapters because in my notions I wanted to utilize
the initiative from a viewership of the circumstance to explain

(22:14):
something in a biography autobiography circumstance that happened to me while also being able in that
same situation speaking on speak on the visual I'm sorry I say visual I meant to say spiritual
to also speak on the spiritual aspect of this knowledge from my intuition right and also speak

(22:37):
on the self-help idea idealization that such initiative initiative by initiation
and allowed me to learn from earn from and able to give back to the people placing the thing
which again from any initiative that was written from the autobiography perspective I've been

(23:00):
able to utilize in this book only for spirituality and self-help purposes not just the me me me
idealization but decoding that hey like this happened to me this also happened to other people
in this lifetime too spiritually could mean this spiritually can be the decoded for that and here's

(23:22):
how we can improve the experiences that happen to us and also our surrounding you know I'm saying
so that's where my mindset was going regarding like what's your what's your phone sway for this
book like what's your you know the model right the tone that set the presidents right and that

(23:48):
that goes into that so with the initiative one one of one it's really it goes off in
the the beginning stages of me and speaking in that terminology like from my birth parents
you know my mother my biological I would say birth birth giver I call in the book is my mother

(24:14):
birth see there is my biological father you know I'm saying so in that initiative it really just
going off of the beginning stages of me like the thought of me before I was born in regards to
like those two individuals and the back stories I've heard throughout the years later on you

(24:36):
know in my late 20s that allowed me to read this book and I'm sorry to write this book in my
in my early 30s right so
in that in that beginning like I said just expressing that the idealization of my background

(24:57):
my lineage as a I see him born well being that both biological parents are from the island of IET
you know I'm saying breaking down my birth date September 26 1989 you know I'm saying how that
was decoded about showcasing the respect level that for my great man the stepfather of mine

(25:25):
I live up coordinate Cornell who passed away actually last year 2024 so rest his soul you know
I'm saying you know I'm saying you you live and learn he's definitely not a perfect man but he's
definitely a perfect man from the values that I could say at least I at least learned from him

(25:46):
was able to attend from him um with that as well it goes into the life of months you know I'm saying
that that's really that really differentiates me for being me in a lot of ways in the sense of um

(26:07):
I don't
know yeah like so even with the idealization spirituality and stuff like that for me it's
it's a it's a tough comprehension for me because it's like
it's one of those things for me it started off as a newborn you know I'm saying it started off

(26:28):
for the newborn and for me and there wasn't a steady journey of my life away it was taking me
until I guess honestly until I read until I wrote this book you know so going back to
the book itself the initiative one initiative one is just speaking of that that difference of my

(26:53):
uprising so in short I was born in America like I say from my biological parents after six months
oh what ended up occurring was that um my biological parents uh set set set split they
set a difference amongst uh whatever they want in life whatever they go altered you know I'm saying

(27:20):
they they decided to go for a different yeah I want me to say decided to go for severe time before
it's hard for you know people people have their reasoning of doing doing things so and in that
book as well I guess I go off from the perspective of explaining like explaining just that like

(27:45):
one to be transparent like the knowledge and information that I've got galvanized from this
book is one from my biological father uh side you know when I met him when I was 26 years old
I I can't confine none of the truth to dialect directly from my biological mother side because

(28:09):
it's something that she never ate upon provided me you know I'm saying so even in this book and the
next initiative one of one uh the way that I learned my actual birthday was in school you know I'm
saying my birthday I thought originally was September 9th you know I'm saying because
off my ignorance one never having a birthday party when I was in second grade you know

(28:36):
I spent my first I guess seven seven years of living in IET you know I'm saying I was born in
America and based on you know I'm saying like I was telling you earlier uh my biological mother
and father decided to separate uh at that early stage of my um childhood um

(29:00):
what from my understanding was that he told me was that hey he didn't see things working out just
at the third and there you know I'm saying and obviously there was standing the Florida in the
Florida Broad County area and he decided deserted out and go to Georgia with the notion of hey I'm
still going to be taking care of my son I'll just be coming to take care of him whenever I do you

(29:24):
know pay my dues in that regards but uh I guess relationship wise I want to be with you so like
I said it's one of this story only coming from his hand is all I can express and obviously I can
express that some there's some truth to it because I experienced living in IET so yeah so he said pretty
much not even too long but maybe a couple weeks or a month from having that situation or making

(29:50):
that move once he decided to come back and see me he finds out that like I was uh uh I was uh
transferred I guess uh took a flight to IET you know I'm saying to Haiti and from that story
it was governized or captivated to what was stated that my biological parent mother excuse me

(30:15):
my biological mother sold my information my my US citizenship you know I'm saying to a
uh a father who was trying to get his son in America who was supposed to be a newborn so
how that story went was that from his end at least was that again um things didn't work out with them

(30:39):
so to get back to to get back to my father my biological uh mother planned was that okay since
you don't want to be with me I'm gonna do you wrong I'm gonna send your child to Haiti and I'm
gonna get him stuck there by once he get there I'm gonna give somebody else his information
you know I'm saying so how can I fault her how can I argue that not really the reasoning for me

(31:06):
like I said is the experiences I had so what ended up happening for me was from six months old I was
there to about seven and a half to eight years old so clearly there was some reason why I was there
for that time frame right uh another situation was supposed to be was that like I was supposed to be
going there for a month or two so on and so forth and um and again that's what morning story I was

(31:33):
told and then I got stuck there I don't you know I'm saying for one of my uh biological mother's
side but nobody ever did the pics nothing more than that you know what I'm saying but um anyways
as you as we further on the story it goes on to that point where yeah I'm stuck there the the

(31:56):
reason behind it uh it's supposed to be that like yeah another father got his kid to America so it
took a long process for me to get back to America so on so forth and that just really
really starts the beginning process of growing up living a certain life you know I'm saying

(32:18):
a living the life where people tell you what is or what was you know I'm saying growing up where
uh my spirit raised me and I say that to say too because it's a it's a blessing for me and my intuition

(32:41):
uh my persona my own my viewership of life is only it's only as is because of the experiences
that I've had gotten in reasoning to life you know one of my most beautiful moments was was
one of my darkest scariest moments and as a as a newborn infant you know I'm saying going through a

(33:06):
dark night in IET and you know dealing with such trauma ended up becoming a brightest morning
from my own enlightenment at early months so I don't think I was even a year but experiencing
that I never had that I don't know I always felt like I'm thank I'm hearing myself think I was

(33:32):
seeing people like so I was gonna commune there communing from that day from the idealization
of like being a sponge to the world like looking around and observing you know I'm saying so to
me without that experience I'm not who I am you know through the good and bad every experience
that I've got I risen from you know I'm saying so we're a part of that initiative there's a lot

(34:00):
more to it um me discussing the idealization of IET being a y iti translation into Haiti
h a iti you know the land of hate a Haitian someone who hate themselves right the it the land of
Martin and you know really expressing the idealization why that word is so effective amongst the people

(34:26):
by what they're doing to each other you know I'm saying why we're the only country that name was
changed based on meaning you know I'm saying the only thing we see in the English language for other
countries that don't have the same English decoded alphabets is that sometimes you might have

(34:49):
spelling changed based on pronunciation but the the the idealization of changing the
meaning of a country name is totally something like only IET have to deal with going from IET to
Haiti you know I'm saying so I break that down a little bit in that regards you know I'm saying

(35:13):
speak on a little bit more in fact through it's like I said uh meeting my biologist could fall
there at 26 and the perspective that he gave to me how much of my life that I kind of live out
on the outskirt of like looking to understand myself more and so on so forth and how you know

(35:33):
it put me in a straight in regards to not knowing myself but at the same time I always knew myself
more than I needed because it's like I'm lost based on the societal viewership of not having
groundsmanship from a parenting perspective from a religion perspective but I'm found because

(35:55):
in my biggest power was my spirit my spirituality you know I'm saying so and also my decoded a little
bit more information in regards like the diverse uprising that I have pretty much being a generation
what is a Jamaican Haitian you know I'm saying like uh having a blessing to me that side of my
lost tribe when I'm 12 13 a great brother of mine Jonathan Butler you know I'm saying speak on the

(36:22):
uh step siblings cousins um got one of my stepfather the Vell Cornell um my lifestyle that
that was captivated with food and dieting things like that um you know I'm saying all the way to

(36:42):
the end or the end of the initiative to where like I I learned more about myself in regards to when
I met my biological father at the age of 26 learning about his uh family to to to a certain aspect
and to to have it finished off to where I was played by that same man you know for for a financial

(37:03):
game and I would I would leave it like this for you the way I finished that initiative
is with the census don't trust the eyes for all seem to think takes a second to trust but
changing the blink and that's the reality of the life that I know um it's really hard for me to

(37:27):
commence any emotion out of that statement it's just a reality of such statement you know I'm saying
so I don't fight it you know I'm saying I don't I don't garnish that uh the unconditional love
statement that they say that it's not it doesn't exist for me you know I'm saying I I better
adapt my whole life you know I'm saying I know unconditional love is for kids dogs and fucking

(37:50):
women that's cool you know I'm saying as a man you got to provide you get you as a man set your own
unconditional love based on the standards and and structure that you provide yourself and your family
you know I'm saying so I take you with them I'm cool with that so that will go in that uh
uh that will go in completion in completioning uh that don't make sense that that will go in

(38:19):
completing the explanation of initiative one that sounds a lot better doesn't it
all right well further on we'll go on to initiative two which is title simplicity
so with that beginning uh initiative two really just goes on to my idealization of how
simple life was and uh just one from a child perspective but also what life was to be

(38:46):
from a third world country in IET you know I'm saying and how much of a blessing it was uh being
raised with my grandmother you know I'm saying how much it was a blessing also getting getting closer
to my ancestral root before I knew that time was for me to be eradicated I guess in the sense that

(39:10):
I've stripped away um so simplicity of initiatives initiative two really goes in the beginning
process of me living with my uh my grandmother being raised in a third world country um raised by my
aunties my uncles you know that that that take a village to raise a child mentally that most are

(39:36):
those third country suffer from you know I'm saying speaking up uh speaking upon the different
upraising situation that my family and that everybody's went through from a third world
country perspective the joy of having uh lights come on for you know 40 minutes after having it

(39:56):
for no days or weeks months you know I'm saying so those little things like that could always remember
you know I'm saying also um this uh chapter
uh also goes into one of the the biggest initiatives that is plagued that's plagued that's set in my life

(40:22):
which was uh accident that occurred to me as a young kid maybe what six years old I'm not sure
um but practically I was I was in school in IET at the time and
there there was there was something to be completed on the board and their teacher

(40:48):
asked me to go and complete it so on and so forth and externally so I was pretty good as I am today
in Mac and um having care having a care charismatic personality and uh hate was going hate hate hate
tell the script that's on man listen that's on been in my ear before before you made it but long

(41:10):
story short um I completed the task that the teacher asked on and so forth and I guess braggadocios
leave me going back to my chair like yeah yeah you know I'm doing my little young underman dance
uh somebody ended up tripping me and this trip pretty much set uh this this trip pretty much

(41:33):
set what's been from that day to this day uh inconsistent ability to breathe properly
through my formation in life uh from that day has set
that unprecedented unwanted feelings and emotions that that don't align with my spirit my joy my

(41:59):
passion my my care for the living for the days that you feel like you're you're drained you're
tired you're fatigued right so that injury uh yeah it plagued me in a lot of ways um from my
account from the way I speak from the way I take pause and stuff like that you may think I'm speaking

(42:20):
but I'm sorry I'm thinking but in reality it's me uh awaiting my threshold to get back in line
so yeah it's uh it's a it's a super depth focal point because it impacts so much other other things
as you understand with the body the body the body anatomy wants one thing off it's like the car you
know everything else is either trying to overly compensate for which then affects that overly

(42:48):
compensation to be something more of a negative degree uh decrease should I say um so with that
once I tripped over what ended up occurring was that there was a big old big old brick type of like
wooden desk like these ain't American style this cute looking wooden desk these all like
cut from the tree uh no like uh what's the word uh shiny like glossy effects after this like still

(43:20):
got like you you you you scrape your hand on that thing you might cut your hand type of uh treat
desk should I say but long behold when I went once he tripped me I was like unaware of being
tripped you know so you're just walking and boom uh and then at that time I'm a kid so not looking

(43:40):
in preparation of how to carry myself from a fall it's like ah so from my mom being wide open and
that desk when we knocked me knocked me the fuck out and that's exactly what it did I got nothing
fucked up by that desk but the desk also took in part about uh two of my uh front teeth and not me

(44:04):
out like like it was not just about missing the teeth I was out for like weeks you know I'm saying
and at that time I'm dealing with the medicines or I guess the procedures at the time that they had
at the time in IET uh so as I recall you know I don't remember how I got home just at the third

(44:27):
but I was told that yeah I was pretty much out I was out like a life though the teeth went all the
way up to like my my nose bridge area like pretty much like uh uh uh a dog walk country surgery how
they had to take it out and I ate through a straw for maybe two three months if not longer um

(44:52):
they tried to put like fake horse teeth in my mouth that didn't work out um yeah just a tough time
just a tough time um just in general as I recall um but that that grew like I said that happened
maybe when I was six seven in IET came to America um my biological uh mother didn't see something

(45:17):
of that to be something that she needed to fixate um yeah I did I dealt with it I mean
I'm a beautiful guy I'm not gonna lie that is once I guess you can call the physical
imperfection of me um there's other things other people may may not like in my future baby my lips

(45:37):
my nose or whatever stuff like that um but I think for me I've always been accepted of me um through
the good and bad no matter the worse uh I think for me the teeth situation is this more like
it's hard for me to accept only because I know this is not me you know I'm saying it's a it's a
situational thing right it's one thing if you have to uh deal with this idealization that hey

(46:03):
those front teeth don't ever grow or nothing like that but it's one thing when you have to
understand that it's only that because of a circumstance of a traumatic situation that that
um that you had to occur so for me I take that with a grain of salt from the perspective that like
shit happened but I'm not I'm not letting life happen to me and that's always been my positive

(46:25):
notion of motion in regard to that situation it's not easy of course but nonetheless I I move
purpose in all that I do you know I'm saying so uh another big part for me in that on exploration
was that explanation excuse me was me like having that understanding that hey man um that kid must
have been jose just at the third but I doubt that that was like in his mind like yo I'm gonna

(46:50):
knock this kid out for three four months because I hate how he's begging and dosing right now he
probably just wanted to embarrass me you know I'm saying make me trip and make the kids laugh like
you know I'm saying he look goofy but tripping I don't think the end of result was like hey I want
this kid to live this situation from here and also he's gonna live this you know I'm saying I don't

(47:13):
I don't perceive it to be that malicious unless he has some devilish well work he had going on to
to put that in line but I don't put it in that perspective like that
quote initiative three initiative three is title spirit versus flesh war
um with this initiative uh it really just goes into my idealization and really this is where I

(47:42):
would say initiative three goes into speaking more about my spirituality uh speaking more about
my idealization of word plays and how people look into life right so just I could work for
where it's at is and this is what uh initiative three starts I'm not a man of faith wish hope

(48:08):
believe but boy girl have I seen such work I'm thinking my word play is separated separated
based on direct communication over verbom sarcasm some say words are words of the world creator
and other planets stars in universe if if if if infinity if you have mercy if you mirror those

(48:31):
to be the truth I respect too much to just to disrespect so much I put no emphasis on and our
souls creator as I simply don't know but intrigue daily to discover so for me
me I respect anybody views I respect anybody believe beliefs right wish hope you know I'm

(48:55):
saying what they whatever they have faith on what I won't respect is that to be mine because
it's yours what I won't take for disrespect is you looking at your belief as the only belief
ways of life and I think a lot of time

(49:21):
many people are scared to talk to life or another term for God I'm sorry for life would be talk to
God talk to the creator happy one the code that and for most people there's a religious fear that
come from it because it's like I was told not to question God well if you're not God yourself

(49:53):
of course you can't question God right but if you understand that God is in me God is in you
why wouldn't you question yourself you're not perfect but it's the religion aspect of saying the
Almighty is just this one person and I have to want to be like the Almighty I'm not the Almighty

(50:20):
and so you have that separation where then somebody can say God is the greatest God is good but I'm
not God so you naturally separating yourself to be another entity because you don't accept the
perfection of being a God you don't accept the accountability that it takes to be the God so

(50:46):
of course why wouldn't you the biggest thing for me is that like biblically as in my younger age
like I felt so fearful of this God like why why is this guy so jealous like oh why is this God so

(51:11):
painful and the idea like to take my brain and positive views of you must be
negative actions right the sins determinologies that's utilized like
I don't fight for that you know I'm saying I don't fight for feeling anyone I respect because the

(51:34):
the mutuality of the consistency that I understand that I that I unify with that makes that rightful
for me I'm not going to just accept because I'm scared or you know I'm saying I think that's where
a lot of people looking into religion for or the accept religion for because there's a it's the it's

(51:56):
the fear of unknown it's the danger of I better not question so to you know to to to to to to
to to to to to to your own I would say to that perspective you know I'm saying I'm not gonna
argue your love your ship but in my own likeness on my own likeness I'm more forward forward upon life

(52:24):
if judgment day is to occur I would want the creative life to judge me by me not by me doing
of others doing and I think a lot of us are just living off the idealization of what somebody else
has written for us to be or do or how to live a life of what it said to be right to not

(52:48):
the right right in Rome already exists within you know I'm saying so why hinder that why play
with that as if like I don't know better as if like I can't do no better it makes no sense
so to him giving us that as much as required it's just it's it's it's the same it's the same

(53:08):
polarity of life being real with yourself being honest with yourself you know me and also with
this uh initiative three I speak on a different uh aspiration of differentiation amongst coming
from a third world country you know moving into I guess America where it's like a whole it's a

(53:37):
it's a total spectrum like a car light would light up a whole block in that third world country
you know I'm saying even I remember in that initiative three speaking on my first experience
you know coming from the airport of America like yo what the fuck like why is this like every

(53:57):
fucking corner you know I'm saying like pulling up to Wendy's and like what kind of places is why
is it so light because again you don't get to see so much electricity being used from a third world
country like I like I was to me you know I'm saying so yeah like those things for me drove me and aid

(54:22):
me and to knowing myself in a lot of ways because like as much as like I didn't know I was learning
that it was for me to learn because this is what the universe wanted me to experience

(54:45):
you know I'm saying like you can be anywhere as a human and be limited as forever as you could be
right but with opportunity with opportunities comes from you to enhance yourself and broaden
broaden your horizon you know spread out your brinches they would say so that was the

(55:11):
that was
my moment I think in spirituality to
fulfill fulfill my my my quest right because in one way I'm feeling the void of like missing my
grandmother who's like the biological mother to the life I know and stuff like that right

(55:34):
and then on the other hand I'm looking like
this is so much more opportunity than I could ever dream of or experience the thing that I
wouldn't have coming from a third world country so spirituality
is annoying of you and I think for a lot of people it goes into some

(56:00):
origin of like land or culture or race and stuff like that
namaste the I and I you know I'm saying like the God in me seeing the God in you
um spirituality is knowing that there's good people and bad people in any race or culture
you know I'm saying like it's the intuition

(56:27):
that set the policy in the conversation with the spiritual beings right it's the divine
and the divine comprehension of the emotions that we share by people placing in things
that a spiritual person
oversees rather than underlooking for the social comparison of just in that the third

(56:51):
to be spiritual not spiritual so I placed myself in a way higher point
than I could be in my own judgment of what spirituality spirituality can be based on
social standards because as much as people that's defining themselves and saying that

(57:14):
there's spiritual these days right and how they felt like there was uh what's the word right
ahead of step child a black child whatever you want to say in that in the term right
of being the outcast of that family you're now looking these spiritual circles
family circles have a drum circle how do they want to confine themselves in terminology right

(57:36):
you now look at it it's like yo what's the difference or setting that you guys doing that
religion people that you were so angry or disliking of what's the difference of it now
right because now if somebody doesn't wear they hair like you do with net or this certain
amount of product they're not spiritual if somebody doesn't eat like you eat or eat this

(58:00):
natural product as you say to be natural then they're not spiritual the same code of ethics
that was used in the principles of creating religions is using it is is utilized it's
being utilized in the same format and spirituality and that's not the true purpose and reasoning
of spirituality spirituality is literally it is the universal religion it is the

(58:26):
understanding that we all bleed to save it is the understanding that like race height sex doesn't
define the goal if understand that we are humans in this one time together that's the
policy that spirituality gravitates upon cool copy that got it cool let's move initiative for

(58:54):
initiative for I titled without sleep when I die easy I'm not gonna lie I don't even think I could
really have to go I'm sure there's things that's very meaningful directly in me saying that
but it's simply it's simply I got things that shows the best I guess

(59:22):
perspective and tired telling that initiative I sleep when I die I've always been mentoring
nocturnal our mums where I'm at being a meditator being a daydreamer I guess you can
call it being a visualizer over thinking over analyzing right there's good there's good I'll

(59:53):
admit there's good like I said meditating visualizing stuff like that but there's the bad there's
the overthinking there's the over analyzing there's the there's the stress that's necessarily put on
that's that I can actually put on myself that I don't think I put on myself or not knowingly
prior that I put on myself um being my own parent that's where that term come from I sleep when I

(01:00:19):
died it was something I was super confident comforted and because it's like I found strength in that same
title as well because when you know help is not coming nowhere near around it's like
hey sometimes you gotta be the ball of punches that string up your own

(01:00:44):
jaw even if we meant that you punch your own jaw if you give them same like
the same person they gotta make you get up and sometimes you gotta be the same person that
whoop your ass and I gotta be yourself at least for me and uh me me me me me saying that is like

(01:01:05):
I said me growing up being my own parent um wow saying that it just it it it's it's it
guarantees to me because I'm like I'm always so proud of myself and that that same term I'll
sleep when I die takes away some time of my strength the proudness of myself because I'm in a moment

(01:01:27):
of grinding right it's hard for me to good job Jamie boy and I'm bad I'm proud of you like
I could say good job to myself and this is like that but I can't take a moment of like
relaxation like it's like what's next or like let's get it like what else can we do how can we

(01:01:50):
improve and a lot of that sometimes like I said bring natural natural stress over me that I didn't
I didn't analyze to be stressed you know I'm saying but that's the point of you over operating your
brains to where you don't understand that you need to to grow sometime is to to at time stop you

(01:02:16):
know I'm saying to accept silence to accept movement to be no movement and for me I've always been
in the competition of myself of like how can I make this situation better you know I'm saying
whether it's my situation personally or or somebody else that I'm involved with or I'm dealing with

(01:02:40):
how can I improve such things you know I mean that's been always my my goals in that perspective
like it correlates also with my my I guess body type which is kind of funny you say like oh why would

(01:03:01):
you align you know align that you know you're sleeping your diet your mind set up like like
because even with fitness right I I'm a slim body um dude and it's like even with eating
like a lot of time people don't understand like the idea of gaining weights and uh gaining muscle

(01:03:24):
and stuff like that looking bigger getting bigger it's a balance it's a balance of mindful
mind being mindful right the meditation to sleep it's the balance of being active right the physical
exertion of working out and of course the third principle is the balance of your nutrition the
food intake the protein that you're allowing your body to produce by putting such a good protein in

(01:03:49):
you right so for me I sleep when I die goes into that effect because as an analyzer as a thinker as
a writer as a poet my food sometime is creating so me eating is me eating my thoughts into reality

(01:04:14):
right the react it's like this like the the the int the intakes of like what the food is will be the
thoughts right the chewing process will be the words that comes into play and the swallowing

(01:04:35):
of the food would be the writing of the words that were said to be played that made the finishing
product right and that finishing product in totality is the meal that I just completed
in virtues of my mind in my hands or thought process completing that and like I just said with fitness

(01:04:57):
this the sleeping the nutrition right in the exertion part of it is the full 100 key which
all three emphasis plays 33 percent of right where I can be good at all three I can also handle
myself at all three based on my spiritual ways of my spiritual balance of naturally

(01:05:25):
fasting without knowing that I fast right because the way my spiritual food intake is burning food
by thinking that I'm eating right I'm eating these thoughts but there are they're actually burning

(01:05:46):
they're burning my calories
I don't know and that's the best way I can make sense of it because like
it's not that I don't want to eat more but I eat physically because I need the

(01:06:07):
nutrients in the minerals in my body I can't eat physically for the the process of applying weight
right unless my body asking me to put food in me and because I'm a spiritual divine being

(01:06:27):
that's intuitive to my own telepathic thought right because I'm a portal I'm a source of
information that the universe I allow to utilize whenever I'm free and able and capable right which
is those segments of eating habits like I say where I get I get source of information that

(01:06:49):
comes to me like food right and for me to eat it is for me to burn it out through my literature
through my thought process so naturally for me I would want to eat more I would want to work out
more do do a that more sleeping work but naturally for me comes for me where food comes from a comes

(01:07:14):
comes in a different way for me it comes from a different source for me so it's not just the
idealization of me just getting food physically but it's the mental and spiritual side of food that
governs you know you know I'm saying and that term I'll sleep when I die it's really goes

(01:07:36):
in that complex view for me in that spiritual as as a spiritual being right because my mind
is the universe that I have within me but also it's the universe that I have within me that I
can express outward to really show people places and things what's my inner care about

(01:07:58):
you did you did you did you did now we go to initiative five power feels like you
how it feels like you initiative five like I said it's it's really how would I say like I say if
I just started playing three but I'm saying it in the sense of initiative five is going into the

(01:08:27):
idealization that in my biography experience in the in those moment I was always a little
I'm gonna try this word again alienated alienated alienated alienated alienated I think I get it

(01:08:48):
guys alienated I was always alienated to my own thoughts among was like who are you like you
know I'm saying are you an alien because biological mother treats you like the worst person she
know know you know I'm saying no love from the aspect stepfather is like my stepfather I say

(01:09:10):
father with a s my stepfather I would say great man but I gotta say I'm still in step son I know
that the differences of when hey I'm taking my son to go see his cousin and stuff like that
duh duh you're okay you're here right the friends that I have like I said the making
sound on me but understand yeah you're not really family you know I'm saying so I always had to kind

(01:09:32):
of figure the idealization of being the third wheel in a lot of situations in a lot of homes
you know and that feeling for me compelled me to limit my own personality when I was growing up

(01:09:57):
because you're trying your best to not have a outlandish or overtaken personality right not
not to be so expressive right so it's like you want you want you want to be somewhere and cause
the least amount of problem and you want to show yourself that you're doing that so that way you

(01:10:18):
don't place yourself in a bad situation in a bad circumstance yo so
so that that to me defecates that situation and like I was telling you in the initiative one
where my birthday I had no no recollection of it the the initiative situation for me in the

(01:10:46):
initiative five that says powerful like you was because there was a situation that my
26th of my I say my 26th my eighth birthday was coming up and my teachers that year that's why I was
doing every you know she was uh doing birthday party for the kids on and so forth so

(01:11:08):
me never had a birthday party and nothing like that you feel me that was my first time
having that ability so I was super excited you know I'm saying and the thing about that which
was crazy she's like ain't your birthday in September James that is so she was going off all the kids
that birthday could be on it on September I'm like yeah she's like what day I'm like the night you

(01:11:30):
know I'm saying because I didn't know days at that time as a kid meaning like I just knew
num uh numbers like they say the first was January the second was February you know I'm saying
our big numbers when you saw on the calendar I remember seeing them zero the one to like 28
one to 30 one to 31 but I'm like I don't know what the meant for you know I'm saying at that at that

(01:11:52):
time in my life I couldn't read a calendar that's to be transparent right why do you understand
the totality of how to read a calendar so I know my birthday was in September and I knew
there was a bunch of numbers in the middle I didn't understand them so I was like she's never night
she's like you sure I'm like yeah yeah that's my birthday and um yeah she's thinking like oh

(01:12:17):
these kids definitely must know his birthday this is the third I don't understand the third
she accepted as is so I remember that day I got fly this is the third bro like I put on my best
dress clothes and I be fly that home my biology come on like where you going she's like oh I'm

(01:12:37):
like oh today's my birthday we have in cupcakes at school that's the third this lady just laughs at me
like I'm like all right bitch keep on hate no I ain't call her bitch but I'm like dad all right
why you hating on the kid you know I'm like fuck you I ain't bring you no burn no cupcake anyway

(01:13:01):
and that um that goes on to yeah I'm thinking it's my birthday I'm telling the cheese this
that a third but long behold man it wasn't and how fun I was like uh going into the cafeteria at that
time when you used to put in your lunch number on your on the day of birthday happy birthday so I

(01:13:25):
think it was somebody else's birthday as well and that happened to them it didn't happen to me on the
night and then like after lunch my teacher she pulled me to the side she's like you don't know
your birthday don't you I'm like no it's Timberlake she's like no that's not your birthday I just went
she's like I went to the principal office because I'm like that's not I don't seem to be right

(01:13:47):
and she's like he told me based on your father birthday September 26 okay it's the 26th of this
month September 26th I'm like I don't I don't remember if I said okay I don't remember if I
nodded I don't remember whoa my statement I was embarrassed like a motherfucker but I remember she

(01:14:09):
she pretty much was embarrassed for me as a child and expect and expect him like probably thinking
like damn kid how you don't know your birthday and then going to that point like who didn't tell
you your birthday you know I'm saying so it went like that and for me I never forget going walking

(01:14:29):
home that day I was fucking pissed I was pissed you know I'm saying like I was pissed and angry to
the point where like I don't I think like I almost lost the fear of my biological mother because
obviously I was eight or maybe no nine maybe nine or ten right and at that time she was bigger

(01:14:53):
obviously her words you know I'm saying you're a kid people say things see you cry you know I'm saying
so that day was the first day I was like this excuse my friend but this fucking bitch like you
lied to me you know I'm saying or now and then also I remember like remember oh that's what she
was laughing about so you know it was not my birthday you know I was like that embarrassment and

(01:15:19):
yeah I kind of walked home and like she knew I was pissed I just went to the room and say shit to her
and from that perspective power feels like me and from that perspective I would take the
initiative to say from that initiative always allow yourself to go through your trials and
tribulations so you can gain the experience that was meant for you sometimes we try so hard to

(01:15:46):
hinder or limit the painful or the hurtful moments in life but how do you actually grow if somebody
is hindering that from you so all of that pain cuts deep in the sense because that is my biological
mother things of that nature but I also respect that as well because hey I know that was my

(01:16:11):
biological mother you know I'm saying so that unconditional love that was supposed to be there I
understood that came with some condition it is what it is you know I mean we go on to initiative
six the young old man the young old man I speak about this uh I'm so silly initiative yeah so it

(01:16:37):
goes on to really speaks on me living the life where I was older than I had to be mentally
physically spiritually whatever my whatever my age says was just what my age said but based on
experience man life showed me you know I'm saying um yeah it's it's it's the it's the for me especially

(01:17:09):
like coming to America certain things I experienced already sexually with young girls was now I would
say disheartening um just because like I shouldn't I shouldn't have not been garnishing those the
opportunity at those times to play house you know I'm saying so early and so forth you know I'm saying

(01:17:37):
um having to you know fast forward a year or two later coming to America you're 19 years old
you know I'm saying thank you for yourself thank you for the badness of yourself like
there's a sort of friendship that you want to create and produce because you understand if
you hang around this group like you can go in jail and you don't gotta do a support system

(01:18:01):
like that I would get you out of jail so uh young old man states me man like having to make decisions
before I knew what this what this decision could be in a sense of like being my own parent early

(01:18:23):
having to think for myself like if you don't do this nobody else gonna do this for you you know
I'm saying if you do this like every other kid right now yeah they got money to go buy this but
you need this to go buy for your clothes school clothes you know I'm saying so that's just what my

(01:18:47):
adolescence-teenage years uh equipped it to it equipped it to for me uh
to learn that
every man is not divided by the same age you know I'm saying every man is not defined by the same

(01:19:08):
experience you know I'm saying um I got the old viewership of what it is to be a man in a sense
and I don't fight that you know I'm saying I don't fight the uh
I know I just lost the word I don't fight the abandonment of what occurred to me in my uprising

(01:19:32):
you know I'm saying because my sister my my half biological sister was uh abandoned from
her mother as I was right uh luckily for her she still had her biological father but the
abandonment circumstance and uh tough situation that my biological mother placed on uh her only

(01:19:59):
daughter to where like you know I'm saying where another man got to care you in that emotional
state that only a woman can understand certain times when it comes to like your period and stuff
like that I don't know for me it always like made me look at what she did to me as nothing

(01:20:20):
because I'm like damn if you could abandon your son as one thing but your own daughter like you
know I'm saying to no man out there raping to no man out there like force be forcing them stuff on
women you know I'm saying you just abide your own womb like that for I was like your uh only
daughter to me like I said the young old man came to me early because I viewed my mother as a god

(01:20:46):
before she understood that you know I'm saying herself hate and neglects into her kids or something
I'm like yo you're a goddess you're a queen I attempted to put potency among her views you know
I'm saying but you learn that's not something that you can truly control convey somebody

(01:21:08):
uh to convey somebody um what their life should be you know I'm saying
and for me like I've always been
comfortable under my own skin like regardless how anybody could view me

(01:21:31):
I don't care like and I think being my own parent and living that life where life was so tough
early like I ain't got no time to impress these little kids getting fucking clothes shoes from
your mama and shit like that y'all think I'm supposed to be sensitive to y'all trouble trouble ways

(01:21:52):
or you are you bragging on me on me what you got and I know what I got work for
it ain't it ain't like that dad to me
it ain't god governs me at all like it ain't governs me to see myself as a lesser being but
more strengthen me you know I'm saying so with that I want to finish off just the last paragraph

(01:22:18):
of this the young old man because it's very significant significant
for me I go on to say from our from our birth from our birth giver to all us
to all wow from our from our birth giver to us all as siblings never been

(01:22:42):
never been in line with the communication we never been consistent with that I was average
throughout middle schools in all phases too cool to work but too smart to not pass the class
perhaps I could have been mr popular but my insecurity from my smile was not something I

(01:23:03):
doing so my personality of of creativity and inner happiness athletically wasn't shared easy
easier outwardly or less comfortable with you how you're going to crack on me about having a
missing tooth when I just simply with a smile or talk with my body lips so you wouldn't see

(01:23:23):
won't be the bullet of your joke was my insecure strength of thought this covering this covering
up would hurt me in moving forward when asked for assist when asked for assistance on the things I
needed easily simply laugh or ignore me easily will be my biological mother by example I know

(01:23:47):
this sound hard but it was almost like asking the devil or a negative entity to be nice imagine that
um hey life you making you make hey life sorry imagine that um hey my life hey my life you're

(01:24:07):
making a little too hard you mind taking it easy on me for a while what kind of answer would you
expect from such an entity but good luck with a good one you know I'm saying so that notion was
just speaking on me early understand that like hey energetically my mother my mother my biological

(01:24:30):
mother moves like a a devil you know I'm saying doesn't want nothing positive for me uh attempt to
get a job she doesn't want to help me get a state ID uh you know I'm saying I want to play sports
doesn't want to sign my uh my physical so I'm like clearly you don't want nothing positive for me in

(01:24:53):
this lifetime you know I'm saying help me fix my dent my dentures 12 13 years old now forget that
you know I'm saying so it's like literally I understood who hated me because that person
literally I was birth I was birth from you know I'm saying like what what what do I need to lie to

(01:25:15):
myself about or of the reality is just literally from day one the toughest thing for me was the
to accept the love outward because some of the people appreciated me or respected me more than
my own biological mother that was fucking very confusing you know I mean so initiative seven daring

(01:25:37):
truth daring truth daring truth I started off jealousy from my brother and mother was so normal
I thought it was plotting on me but your view to that every time you had loved ones come over
your heart felt light and free and soon as they're gone you're worried about

(01:26:00):
where you're going to be attacked not knowing which one would be doing so
so further and on to initiative six I speak on the diversity of living in a life where
where your biological mother hates you and dislike your I guess a gift or ability

(01:26:25):
haste or despise your biological father so keeping all that hate anger of him from you
have biological brother dislike of you because of whatever his own insecurities his own reasoning is
having another side of a step family that exists with my stepfather and his son and those cousins

(01:26:55):
that that lives in one household but conveyed two different per person you know I'm saying
where in transparency the step brother and the step cousins were a lot more family to me than
my own biological mother and brother you know I'm saying like questioning why they're doing

(01:27:21):
you like that you know I'm saying seeing the experiences that I had to deal with as
the brother in a sense going through the circumstances you know I'm saying
I'm also being the youngest one in the in that household but having any doors

(01:27:46):
um and that was it yeah you know I'm saying so that was like that the truth of having to confine
them you know I'm saying that for me at least hate I experienced first came in at home you know
I'm saying like they say those who uh experience hate or negative is normally the people that's

(01:28:11):
close to the wrong you that's going to be the one doing it so trust me I know that 100 to be 100
percent fact you know I mean so Derrit you decode my
I like I said diverse background within the uh my Jamaican uprising with my brother John

(01:28:35):
who became like another brother from the mother as his mother and took me like his grandmother
and took me like his um auntie's intake me right so that correlated with my cousin Gary who were
already who was already friend with John from when it was like 11 12 and then I met John from

(01:28:56):
like 12 to 13 and just naturally just um a good sync sync of young uh young dudes man so Derrit
truth really is another initiative that speaks upon that personal in-depth livelihood having to
deal with that household with a mother that just like you were one of Ben and she'll grow

(01:29:24):
with a brother that matched the same energy you know I'm saying correlating with um
some family and friends from the oppositions that see you in a better life that wants
of somewhere in a better for you right um showing you a different viewership of what
families could be or look like so that's what my cousin Gary like my brother from another John

(01:29:50):
other friends and so on so forth from that group of community that's what we built at that time
and that was very special some other details I'll be transparent I'm leaving out
in regard um but it's depth and I would definitely recommend for you to get a copy of that book

(01:30:17):
whenever you get a chance to all right we go on to initiative eight which is infinite love
so for me um I can start off by reading this uh short paragraph in the beginning just to
just to give you a perspective of what this chapter consists of infinite love initiative eight

(01:30:40):
sex as I explained earlier was educated by experience not my surrounding meaning what I
knew I did what I didn't know I learned before I was a man I had a plan I was a baby thinking
babies very young I had dreams of being my father as a husband and my mother being my girl by wife

(01:31:05):
that's correct fatherless and motherless kids turn to adults who need their partner to be something
in which they never had this and which what I would call a punctual heart a punctual heart or love on
dialysis my first love was just as explained I was her dad's boyfriend as she was my mom's

(01:31:28):
girlfriend infinite love in this chapter I speak on my love experiences relationship
and as you would see as I um start it off
at least from my culture coming from a third world country coming from an African American

(01:31:53):
black culture in America young love puppy love man people die for women and men kill for it
because it's like without the proper uprising the proper structure
of allowing somebody to confine self-love first your first knowledge of love is

(01:32:17):
giving it to somebody else or finding in somebody else but you never learned to learn
through yourself you know I'm saying so the eagerness of what it is for a young teenage boy or girl
to get into a relationship and not understanding what they're doing but playing a role that they're

(01:32:42):
seeing is one of the scariest factors because true emotions are being captivated with this role playing
true actions being sex is being manifested through these situations where babies sexual
treatment transmitted disease and so on can be can be alerted you know I mean so in a lot of ways

(01:33:11):
you think that it's innocent it's always cute just that a third but we don't train the young girl
young boy enough about that we let them play house and think oh it's so cute just that a third but
we don't understand the the idealization you playing house from five six years old oh I'm the

(01:33:33):
guy you know the tenor bills the kid girl and they made 13 14 years old so on and so forth and
something pop off I mean we've been training like this is how you know I'm saying but we don't train
the growth and our sexuality from like respecting your sexuality respecting your body

(01:33:55):
sacred energy exchange deploying the potency of what that does not just one of the baby making
aspiration but just the manifestation of the likelihood that you exceeding because the different
people you're connecting with do such sacred space it's it's one of those things I can omit where

(01:34:22):
you grow up not really consulting to yourself honestly like what you're doing in sexual action
besides I just want to get it I just want to get it and seeing women at a time as just numbers

(01:34:46):
right and seeing women as times as just like somebody that can please my sexual needs right
because you're a praise of like this is what it's for you don't really get to confine in how many
souls you're actually implementing right or consulting and when you when you're you know

(01:35:07):
having those activities so a lot of us set sex to be something as pleasure but also sex is obviously
you creating life you can manifest energetic field from people placing the things and sometimes
we lose hold of that we lose the grabs of that and I think that's what really makes it tough you

(01:35:33):
know I'm saying it makes it a tough plea to really really like establish your your the totality
of your purpose in love and your purpose in relationship it ain't easy it ain't it's it's
not easy at all infinite nine the transition infinite nine practically just goes into me

(01:36:04):
getting up from the adolescence of my livelihood you know I'm saying being grateful
that I was not trapped I'm definitely not free from my uprising regarding regarding the
certain circumstances things of that nature but mindfully I'm not trapped into the crab in the

(01:36:29):
bucket I'm not trapped into treating others as as as I was treated right I'm a work in progress
I'm a working process but I would definitely say
I take the initiative to understand the inevitable that life brings I can also bring

(01:36:57):
you to me into my life which has changed right so the negativities that I that I obscured based
on experiences I can alternate for positivity you know I'm saying I take the accountability
amongst honestly since 13 years old I take the accountability some things yes it could

(01:37:25):
have been a lot easier where if I had help and assistance of course but I can honestly omit two
since that age I've been capable to make a path for myself and some paths I've certainly made
it made a lot harder because yeah again lacking no no structure instability is going to make it

(01:37:50):
harder anyone any person but I can admit after a second after the second time after the third
time after the fourth whatever that may be have the fifth time it is up to me it is up to you
you can't hold yourself as a victim because how it started if you allow things to keep going how

(01:38:11):
it's going based on how it was started then that's on you you know I'm saying in a lot of time people
naturally victimize themselves because they say this is what it was getting trouble once you go to
jail god forbid and learn from it but no you've been there seven times but you want to say it's the

(01:38:31):
system you place yourself in a system you're absolutely right we can we can all be victims
all of us because we all got assholes you know I'm saying we all got we all got assholes so

(01:38:52):
who don't who can't make up an excuse who can't pick up an excuse it's the easiest thing to carry
around you know I'm saying so for me in conclusion there is none and that's really the totality

(01:39:13):
that's really the totality in that perspective because transitioning
means that you have to make a movement movement that that's that wasn't aligned with what your
past would so for you to transition means that you have to pivot you have to do something that's

(01:39:35):
out of the ordinary you know get out your comfort zone and that's really what this
chapter was about making ways for myself because even I couldn't find a ways or see the way
you know I'm saying so I will finish this uh edition of non-biased speaking

(01:40:02):
at the the the backend of what that
transition looked like in my lifetime from my birth given closest friends and family
there's always been a couple saying about about her back to me you know who she is
don't pay attention to her she's always angry me and her not talking based on what she said

(01:40:26):
to others about me is her way or the highway as imperfect she my birth giver is and was
I can respect her direct response to people she's a liar she's a liar at heart to never admit any
wrongfulness however she'll defend her soul in viewpoint if she's alone and no one has ever

(01:40:53):
done the same for her to which her and I share such pain I can admit this mutually
up raises me as the same by experience in this uprising smiling in your face while they
eyes roll back and discuss was the way of life nosy people need sense nosy nosy nosy people

(01:41:19):
need sense senses by stories to enhance their smell most time you get attention just for that
person to get information from you it's just the way of the universe we all want we all want to know
what we don't know to a friendly human what happened is is a gateway to the spread but can

(01:41:41):
never decode the reasoning of such question where where you win you can lose where there's pain you
can gain where there's help there's captivity self-observant self-awareness ownership risk
experiencing all are all experiencing all all cycles that every soul must grow through at

(01:42:05):
point of time love you don't want to wait from run to love you so clear that up in that in that
instant me finishing that off was that I'm saying that like in my lifetime those friends and family
of my biological mother everybody would tell me oh you know how she is man that is a devil

(01:42:26):
daughter just at a third but she comes around oh hey how you doing like fake fake fake so for me
although I just like that my mother approached in her ways was not the best way in communication
so so on so for it I certainly still held the respect entitled for her in regards to like

(01:42:49):
how she didn't bullshit people how she just said however the fuck she said and you either gonna like
you you don't love me people gonna be fake around her only made me understand like you know what
I'd rather be like her amongst that like yeah I'm not treating people in a malicious negative way as
her but my bluntness and truthfulness amongst what I feel and care for I'm gonna appreciate

(01:43:14):
that I'm gonna take that from her you know I'm saying and that's really what I want to
govern on is that it's that like there's always a way to learn you know I'm saying
it's not really about a situation being positive or negative it's just a it's the learning
aspect of it what you're able to gain from a such thing or place you know I'm saying and that's

(01:43:38):
really the goal you have to have a solidified mind among how you're looking at things last
initiative would be the conclusion which title there's none reason why it's child there's none
because conclusion would be the engine right and clearly as the author of this book I'm breathing

(01:44:01):
and at that point at this moment I'm achieving I'm grateful I think for that I'm still breathing
and for from that reason I could I guess read the first paragraph or so so you can understand why
there's no there's no conclusion my actions diet languages experiences relationship are
are still processes of growth that I have not fully obtained infinite are my abilities limited by

(01:44:28):
the shackles in my mind let's speak so fully it's if spirituality is the continued wish of one
spirit of one spirit experiences and understanding from one fresh to another did not been living for
eternity from the beginning wisdom of information that time I've never knew of until my eyes are

(01:44:51):
drawn to until my body is felt through until my nose is then senses my ears is her true
then same voice from the beginning you're crazy if you talk to yourself no this is simply an
intuition conversation okay so what is conclusion if there's constantly

(01:45:16):
beginning thought there's an afterthought right we can stop right now in silence
and life goes on so conclusion in life is that there is none if you're still living
if you exist in then it's still growth I still got so much purpose living for me right and totality

(01:45:43):
I'm still not breathing in the full tactical manner that I know that I was burnt to do so
but I'm working on it I'm working on my diet on a daily basis because financially I'm in a society
that like it's plague on the health idealization of what medicine is because there's pharmacies

(01:46:05):
that makes money on that right so there's always room for improvement especially we if we know better
thou shall what do better so I'm not running away from that and I'm not going to run away from
those imperfections that I speak on because that's what makes me perfect is that I know this

(01:46:26):
imperfection and there's days in my life that I can count that I can work on doing better and being
better so I went away from so it can't be no conclusion if you got things you want to do
and get accomplished out this life they can't be conclusion so I'll finish off with one more
sentence to complete the conclusion of initiative being that this is my cause you sometimes

(01:46:54):
sometimes feel as you cannot breathe so holding my breath and meditating like a month was a norm
for me in the art of manipulation or mentally the fusing pain I visually seen going away
calisthenics become a go-to as my neck back hips legs are all affected by my body misalignment

(01:47:16):
the body is like a motorcycle you get what you put in and also also if one piece is not in place
the effect it can have on the other pieces can be more damaged damages down the line
my calling through artistry prevails me as I'm unlimited to what I can achieve your ability

(01:47:39):
is not up to others but again is upon you all that can be all that can become true is only up to you
and the things you do is an actions of you and your attention to nothing from yesterday should
limit how I live in today my story is not my story but our story how we all start don't

(01:48:08):
define don't define how we end be fruitful the seed of truthful to begin there's no conclusion
and honestly I think I did a nice depth

(01:48:32):
depth perspective of summarizing all the initiative today grateful for your time and
beautiful in alignment what I would like to do for you is comply your comply you with three
different uh poetry slash what I would call as more trees right more more trees the motion and

(01:48:57):
poetry coming together making that newborn more tree and what I like to do is uh yeah perform
some of those poetry from selavi de moa book go ahead and get that copy like I said available
on all book platforms sold this poem is titled to be or not to be be truthful or die with a heavy heart

(01:49:23):
be fruitful and roots into the very start can't live off how you want me to can't give life my
being to do powers I know I must sustain knowing my weakness not can't remain my futures my past

(01:49:45):
my past brightness of darkness passes my present loving and likeness
then the change gonna come die for indifference until these pains mean
numb made up my mind living for love acted on the hate effects I should have put above

(01:50:11):
higher breaking sitting as my feet leaves ground floor untamed unlock finally received the keys
to pendur's door deep in my core I store perfection just a long way from the collection this ends my

(01:50:36):
confession self-insured self-progression moa tree number two auto religion cover inner spiritual
pyramids nine I'm asking war for the understanding of faith structs no belief in patient can't wait

(01:51:04):
they changed though yesterday was the same a man's viewpoint can be my pictures to frame
word is bond as causes by actions life is math you add multiply defy some losses add some
fractions don't tell me a name this year to be called God gold oil drugs yet religions the odd

(01:51:35):
every clan believe they're the chosen ones so special a birth mother gifts daughters and sons
we got so many name for this life was Adam fornicating Eve without making her his wife
sharpener no pencil meant to tool see spirit as knife cutting and slicing invading the curses

(01:52:03):
I came out the vices a roller my gamble is the chances taken remembering a throat provide number
in dice says how many so expect you to walk a straight line without questioning the blue or

(01:52:24):
red pill heard the devil runs the church repenting all sin yet is such sent to hell still the womb
of our wall is infested thrusted adversity birthing religion through readout nurseries
here no evil see no evil humans mean people different God changes equal

(01:52:50):
you gotta feel me you gotta feel me you gotta feel me keep around me
3. it's okay to grow 9 waterbounds fall I'm shorter than tall in fact I'm most to all in act

(01:53:18):
I'm stand before crawl known as died to y'all related as connection comes call the master of law
the judge of flaw height the perception of lies low the tearing notion of cries

(01:53:41):
slicing up apple for the baking of pie life is not chances either you cause it or die
I wonder most say why try perceptional lie gender assumption is only woman and guy

(01:54:01):
what goes up is a must to calm down reverse role a slave king in with a crown
water baby self-increasing belly hate me nearly drown I'm so pain begun myself loving by the

(01:54:27):
pounds game balance the key to my life duality unified like husband to a wife peace prosperity power
this is james peter baston mb-90 podcast show and all ascending you satisfaction

(01:54:51):
me love yourself may love your surrounding and each moment for each second fill your heart
that's your love pounder baby peace

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