Meat Sangria with Matt Lipari

In this episode, Matt talks about why the age of consent should be 95 million, why we should all be lying to each other as much as possible and how being on your phone is actively killing everyone around you.

In this episode, Matt uses his iconic, soothing voice to talk about his medium rare index finger, why there are worse places to die than a McDonalds drive thru and why vegans are far more dangerous than we could have ever imagined. 

In this episode, Matt talks about the general population's rabid desire for garbage, why Michael Jackson needs to come back from the dead and set some things straight and why it's ok to ask Asian people if they plan on eating their pets.

In this episode, Matt carelessly gives away his grandmas secret Italian cookie recipe, tries to make light of a bunch of horrible events (he fails) and finally cracks the code to a perfect Vegas weekend.

In this episode, Matt talks about the downfall of his sad receding hairline, why getting married is less important than murdering people and why you better have a good plan before you decide to eliminate children. 

In this episode, Matt talks about his takedown of evil cat killing cousins, why going to college has become an activity for stupid people and why Katy Perry needs to stop getting into fights with disabled veterans. 

In this episode, Matt talks about his new vegan arch nemesis, why recruiting homeless people for a foreign coup is probably not a good idea, and how his childhood dancing partner became an internet meme. 

In this episode, Matt talks about the joys of pooping with the door open on Bourbon Street, why having a lemon shaped dingaling may be a key for financial success, and why women love to be asked if you can meet them.

In this episode, Matt talks about why the Secretary of Transportation needs a new throat, how Canada trained a lethal team of highly trained ostrich killers, and why a Lamborghini Huracan is a necessary business expense for your paving company.

In this episode, Matt tries on his new government mandated burqa, gives grandfatherly advice to young adults in need, and responds to allegations that he's an "alpha male with value."

In this episode, Matt talks about the love of his life getting married, why government conspiracies are at an all time high and how cool it is to brag about how much money you're making to your friends on twitter.

In this episode, Matt talks about his dream of being pawned off in a marriage market, why the best place to get fully naked is in a porta potty, and how fun it is to impregnate yourself in prison.

In this episode, Matt talks about flushing pounds of raw meat down the toilet, why men are obsessed with the quantities of liquid that come out of their bodies, and how eating airplane food just became a lot more dangerous.

In this episode, Matt talks about the (exaggerated) horrors of dating in New York City, why being a professional athlete and dating 7 women at once is a gentlemanly thing to do, and why the MAGA dentist may need to find new ways to torture liberal children.

In this episode, Matt talks about his lesbian spy kids cruise vacation, how he single handedly fought off the rapture and saved your soul and why we should all just give up and watch Tilly Norwood movies.

In this episode, Matt talks about the inevitable demise of society as we know it, why it's better for your health to sit on your couch and not run around like a fool, and why making your small children pay for their communist vacations is loser activity.

In this episode, Matt talks about the joy of stealing small objects from children, does some investigative work into why hot women keep appearing in the New York Post, and makes fun of guys who post lame videos with inspirational quotes.

In this episode, Matt talks about gay men who like bugs, the exciting extracurricular activities that go on at Burning Man, and why buying Pokemon cards with company money is a really good idea.

In this episode, Matt talks about his growing army of Tanzanian children, how Benson Boone is secretly pulling the strings of Americas favorite cookie chain, and why 600 thousand Chinese students should be forced to go to Southern New Hampshire University.