October 7, 2025 • 33 mins
What does it really take to start over — not once, but again and again — with your heart wide open?
In this soulful 40th episode, Kena celebrates her Canadian quinceañera — 15 years since she arrived in Canada with two suitcases and a luggage full of dreams. Through stories of courage, heartbreak, language barriers, love, loss, and rebirth, she reflects on what it means to live, love, and reinvent yourself — again and again — as a woman in midlife.
You’ll feel seen in the way she talks about courage, resilience, and the sacred in-between of who we were and who we’re becoming. By the end, you’ll remember that no matter how many times life asks you to begin again, your wings always know the way.
🦋 In This Episode You’ll Hear:
- How courage shows up when you start a new chapter with nothing but dreams.
- Why resilience isn’t built overnight — and how every challenge refines your strength.
- The truth about belonging when you move, love, and lose in midlife.
- What happens when you trust your path, even when it doesn’t make sense.
- How embracing the unknown opens doors to freedom, purpose, and joy.
🦋 Reflection Questions
- What invisible dreams are you still carrying in your suitcase?
- How would your life feel if you trusted your resilience as much as your fear?
- Where is life inviting you to begin again, with more softness, courage, and trust?
If this episode touched your heart, share it with another woman who’s in her own becoming.
And if you’re ready to walk your next chapter with courage and guidance, book a 90-min free call with Kena.
Midlife reinvention, courage and resilience, healing after divorce, immigrant, woman empowerment, midlife awakening, find purpose in midlife, reinvent yourself after change, self-trust and transformation.
- - - - -
Learn more about RESET, the Intimate Women's Retreat to pause, play & connect. From October 23-26 in the Laurentians, close to Montreal, Qc, Canada. Check the details and reserve your spot: https://midlifebutterfly.ca/resetretreat - Over 30% discount. DM for details!
If this story touched your heart, share it with another woman who’s navigating her own transition.
And if you’re ready to reconnect with yourself and create your next chapter with more freedom, joy, and alignment, join me on Instagram @midlifebutterfly
or explore The Butterfly Path coaching journey.
Download the Midlife Butterfly Guide with 5 Radical Practices to Heal, Take Your Power Back & Rise
Song: Reborn by Alexander Nakarada
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kena Siu (00:00):
Hey beauty, welcome back to the Midlife Butterfly
Podcast.
This is your host, Ken Asiu,and I'm so happy you're here for
the 40 episode.
How cool is that?
We keep rolling, we keeprolling.
So keep sharing the wisdom fromhere, you know, the talks, the
conversations, and everythingthat is happening.
(00:21):
So we can grow this communityand more people can get a sense
of uh uh what is to be a midlifebutterfly.
Either if you're a woman or aman, it doesn't matter.
You are here, and I am very,very grateful for it.
Midlife butterfly, a woman inthe sacred in-between.
(00:43):
She's not who she once was, andnot quite who she's becoming
yet.
She's unraveling, awakening,remembering.
She's navigating lifetransitions, divorce, loss,
reinvation moves, with a burningdesire for freedom, joy, and
souled living.
She feels the pull to rise, tofly.
(01:04):
She's no longer afraid of herown wings.
So let's get started withtoday's conversation, actually.
I'm celebrating, besides the40th episode, my Canadian
quinceañera.
Well, I'm I'm Mexican, so Idon't know if you have heard of
(01:24):
what a quinceanera is.
So it's when we celebrate the15th uh birthday anniversary of
women.
I know in the States and Iguess in Canada as well as the
sweet 16th or something likethat, but for us it's the 15th.
That's the magical number.
And yeah, so I want to sharesome of the experiences that I
(01:49):
have built, that I have learned,you know, by yeah, being here
for 15 years since I got here.
It's it feels unreal now that Isay it.
It's like uh it feels like longtime ago, but at the same time,
(02:12):
it feels like wow, it went sofast.
Uh it is amazing how wellanyway, what's time is just we
know it's not linear, so it'sinteresting.
And so I want to share with you15 learning lessons, I don't
(02:33):
know, or 15 experiences that Ihave uh uh had since I got here.
And so the first one of themwould be courage.
Oh hell yeah.
It is require a lot of courageto arrive to a new country, and
this is was not actually myfirst ride before before here I
(02:55):
was living in Romania for threeyears, and over there, yeah,
Romanian language didn't come tomy you know knowledge at all.
I just knew a few words,whatever.
But here, even though I alreadyknew you know English, it was
still challenging in otherplaces that I'm gonna speak
about later on.
(03:16):
And yeah, but that courage, youknow, of just arriving here
with two pieces of luggage andan invisible piece full of
dreams, you know.
I just knew two, three peoplewhen I got here, and that was
about it, like kind of startingfrom scratch.
(03:38):
It fucking took a lot ofcourage, a lot of it.
And another thing wasresilience.
Holy shit, that keeps buildingover and over again, and even
through these old lives anddeaths that I have experienced
in these 15 years living here inCanada.
(03:59):
And one of the things that Ifaced at the very beginning here
was the language, becauseagain, even when I spoke English
by then, I'm in Quebec, youknow, so French is considered
the main language in here.
And it's crazy because evenwhen Montreal is an
(04:19):
international city, known thatthere's a lot of tourists coming
in here, most of the things,you know, like even
transportation, uh, publictransportation, all that is in
French.
So instead of embracing havingtwo languages, they got stuck in
only like, no, let's save orguard, you know, or French main
(04:45):
language, which I understand ina way, but at the same time, I
think it's embracing both.
It opens more opportunities toeveryone.
Yeah, so what it happens to mekind of like at the beginning
when I got here, I went to thegovernment office, they were
offering a prime program.
(05:06):
I don't know if that one existsstill.
So, what it was about is so Iwill apply for it and then I
will get a job where I will getpaid the minimum wage for six
months, and the government willpay for it.
So that will help me and thecompany that I was working with,
(05:28):
of course, at the same time, togain for me like then job
experience and then for thecompanies to save quite some
money there, right?
The cool part was after gettingthe program, well, after
getting very pissed at thegovernment officer because what
happened is I got there, I sayhello and everything else,
(05:51):
bonjour, blah blah blah, when Igot there.
And when we were about tostart, so I handled the folder
with my file to this person, andwhen we were about to start the
conversation, I asked him, canwe continue in English?
Because my English is betterthan my French.
All he did was closing thefolder in front of my face,
(06:15):
handed it back to me, and hesaid, Come back when you know
French.
Boom.
I left.
So pissed, you don't have aclue.
I was furious at that timebecause again, here I mean the
(06:37):
two languages supposed to be,you know, official, but then for
some people, they are veryvery, very what's the word?
I forgot about it.
Anyway, you know what I mean.
They just want to speak French.
It ends up I had two great jobswith two different companies,
(06:58):
and I was always speakingEnglish.
So just to let you know, butit's just that resilience that
you know continue being thereand at the very beginning, and
then through, you know, it keptbuilding by you know, building
relationships and then losingrelationships, and all those
(07:20):
stories of the human experiencethat has helped me like
strengthen that re resiliencewithin me that it keep helped me
keep going.
Keep going.
It's it's it's it's a reallygood muscle to develop.
So just to let you know, keepit in mind, yeah.
(07:42):
So, like I mentioned before,like learning French.
Oh my goodness, that wassomething else because it really
took me a lot of extra energy.
I was working 9 to 5, and thenI would go to French classes
from 6 to 10.
That would be at least fromMonday to Thursday.
So they were long, long days,and that yeah, it lasted for
(08:07):
almost two years.
Probably the last six months, Itook more of like grammar and
speech, something like that.
That it was, I guess, twoclasses per week, but still,
like, yeah, it took a lot of uhenergy to have those long days
(08:28):
to learn the the language, andthen also too much of a mental
tiredness.
I mean, I don't know if if ithas happened to you sometimes
that at one point you are notlike your mind is just not
functioning anymore.
Like, seriously, I would gethome at the end of the day, and
then I was like, like Frenchwill not go through anymore.
(08:52):
I will be just so, so tired.
And then one of the things thatalso happened to me that it was
very frustrating, and if youknow more than two or three
languages, I'm sure you knowabout this.
The fact that okay, you'refinally getting into learning
the language and trying to putthings together in your, you
(09:14):
know, in your head, so you wantto be part of the conversation.
So by the time you finally putthe sentence together in your
head, the conversation alreadychanged, the conversation just
moved on, and I was like, Oh mygod, like all this, you know,
(09:34):
effort.
And but anyway, it's just it'spart of the journey, I will say.
And for me again, that talkingabout the French part, it took
me just a decision.
Like finally, I was over here,like here for over a year, and
my friends, since my boyfriendat Thailand was French, and his
(09:55):
friends also, so we will theywill make the effort to speak
English with me, which I'mreally appreciated.
But at one point, you knowwhat?
He came, which year was it?
2012, and I said, please speakto me in French.
I freaking need to move withthis thing because I was already
studying French for what forone year, but I I didn't want to
(10:19):
speak it for some, I don'tknow, like not for some reason.
That reason was like, you know,you are afraid to make
mistakes, and then of course,the sounds of French are very
different, and a lot of them, alot of sounds I cannot make
still because it they're notfamiliar either with Spanish or
with French.
(10:40):
So until one point, it's justlike you know, get to just
surrender and said, Okay, thisis my accent, this is how it's
gonna sound, and it's okay, Ihave studied it enough, so just
like give it a go.
And yeah, so to what day againI did that make the decision.
I said, just speak to me inFrench, and yeah, I think within
(11:01):
three months or something, Iwas just getting fluent and
fluent.
It was just about taking thatdecision of saying, okay, let's
go, let's go.
Another thing, the stretch.
I had, I can say, yeah, myworst job ever.
(11:23):
I was working for thismarketing company, and then we
had to call how did they call itlike those calls that you call
to ask questions and figure outwhat kind of products they sell
and blah blah blah.
So at least this was a projectthat we were in, and it was just
(11:44):
oh, it was so draining.
And then you I was in thisfreaking cubicle of not even one
meter long.
You have this, you know, thiscomputer where you can see every
minute passing by with thetelephone just next to it.
And what it frustrated me themost was the fact that to be
able to get the information tothe person with the person that
(12:04):
I was talking to, I needed tolie.
You know, and that really thatwas the stretch.
Like it did, it was a job thatit really didn't sync with my
values.
Because I'm not gonna say, Oh,I have never lied.
No, but I mean, there's no needsometimes to lie, you know.
(12:27):
So, and for those things, yeah,no, no, no, no, no.
So that was a huge stretch toactually, okay, let's hold on
and you know, for a while.
I I guess I was in that projectfor a couple of months or
something, and then it was justlike, okay, let's focus, like,
because you might know thatsearching for a job is a job
(12:49):
itself.
So that's what I did.
I took a couple of months toreally go and search for a job,
and and it paid off at the end.
And one of the things I alsolearned that is that the
personal touch is veryimportant, you know, because
talking about those two jobsthat I that I had, two main
(13:11):
jobs, that personal touch ofprinting my CV, putting it on
the on a folder, having, youknow, putting a business card on
it.
That was what actually got methose two jobs.
But not only that, of course,my presence and my energy by
(13:32):
going over there personally andhandling those papers to someone
in the in those companies,right?
I know those made thedifference.
And yeah, so just considerthat.
Sometimes, yeah, personaltouch, and I think we have kind
of like lost it a lot now thatwe spend a lot of time online,
(13:53):
but having that presence, it'sit's necessary, and more now
than ever, I I think.
So don't miss that, don't missit.
Another thing is oh, the mix ofemotions, yeah, because
building a new life, it's in adifferent country, or even it
(14:19):
could be in a different city ifyou have experience, you know.
It's it's about missingbirthdays, missing holidays, and
so many uh special occasionswith the family and also with
some friends, and and justbecause we continue to hold that
(14:44):
dream, you know, to to livebetter lives or or just to by
knowing that even when beingabroad, like I'm living the life
that I want, and some of thebetween quotes cost to pay is to
(15:06):
miss a lot of things, and thatcreates a lot of mixed emotions,
so it's just about letting themflow, you know.
The culture here, I love it.
I mean, and the thing isMontreal is the the biggest city
here in Quebec, and so there'speople from all over the world,
(15:28):
and and also it depends likewhere you go.
There are differentneighborhoods where it's gonna
be more people from I don'tknow, like the Latinos, and on
other places are gonna be moreFrench people, in other places
are gonna be more people fromIndia and Pakistan, and and then
the north side of the city ismore like uh francophone, the
(15:49):
the west part is moreanglophone, you know, all those
things.
But uh just in general, I meanI just love it here.
It's it's more peaceful andrespectful compared to Mexico
and to Romania as well, eventhough, of course, there were
some shocking experiencessometimes that's everywhere, but
(16:14):
yeah, I I do I do really enjoyit.
And the other thing is aboutyou know the new friendships
that you get to build when yougo to a to a new place.
Here people are welcoming ingeneral.
I mean, I mean, most of myfriends are immigrants, to tell
you the truth.
Even though when Quebecers theydo welcome people, I what I've
(16:39):
seen, I mean, I have only a fewfriends, like I can count them
with my hand, the friends that Ihave that actually are from
Quebec.
So it's it's very rare to makefriends from here.
At the same time, I'm verygrateful that they they welcome
us, but I think it's just adifferent mentality when you are
an immigrant and you are kindof like more open to make
(17:02):
friendships.
And yeah, and then more when Iarrived, I mean 15 years ago, I
was I was very young, and alsomy group of friends, they were
young, you know, then theystarted getting married and then
having children, and I started,of course, the dynamics have
changed since then, you know,but it's just how it's you know,
it has shifted.
(17:23):
Um, but then gettingfriendships from different
places, and of course, you makenew friends and then you lose
them, and then you make otherones, and then now you know, in
and at being in midlife, it'sand not only here, I know like
in general, it's a bitchallenging to have new new
(17:47):
friendships or to make newfriendships, even though I don't
know, it might kind of liketurnaround.
I don't know.
Like that's why I startedmaking you know creating these
women's circles past in um thisAugust, and just I mean, we're
having one tomorrow, and there'salready 12 women sign up, and I
(18:09):
only know two of them, like theother ones I don't know, so it
it is that people really areeager to have more friendships.
I think just being in a phone,of course, is not fucking
enough, and having deepconversations and having the
presence of our of others andfeeling seen and heard is
(18:33):
something that is needed fromeveryone, and not from a place
of ego, but from a place of thatconnection as human beings, and
then another thing I thinkthat's my belief, but that's how
(18:54):
I perceive it that there is abit less of judgment by being an
immigrant because you know, Imean, it means that you leave
your roots, your family, yourculture, you know, to build
something new.
So it's less common thatsomeone is gonna come to judge
(19:17):
you.
Like, are you having kids oryou're not gonna be having kids?
Are you married or you're notmarried, or what kind of status
you have?
Like if I compare it back liketo Mexico, like how the society
is there, generalizing, ofcourse.
Here is very different, and Iand I think it's that because
again, we get here with twopieces of luggage starting from
(19:38):
scratch.
So don't even dare to come andquestion my life because yeah,
no, you can you can you mightget a nice response, but you
might get also a harsh responsebased on that.
Oh, another thing, it's aboutbeing open to opportunities.
(20:03):
You know, I got a job at aninternational association, and I
remember when I got this jobopportunity, and it was actually
in one of the places that Iwent to leave my CV on paper.
But then when I have thisinterview, that was after I
don't know, six months, eightmonths or something.
(20:24):
I was not even looking for ajob at this at that moment, but
that person reached out, andyeah, and he was just like,
Well, you're gonna do this,this, and that, blah, blah,
blah.
I was like, Okay, and then hesaid, Are you gonna be
traveling?
And I was like, sold.
I don't have a clue what I'mgonna do, but if I'm gonna
travel, I'm in.
So I just took it, and it wasfantastic because I had the
(20:48):
opportunity to travel all aroundthe world to every continent
except for Africa.
That one, it was my birthdaypresent for my 40th birthday.
But I mean, traveling around itwas just fantastic, and you
know, again, like new cultures,trying new new foods, and then
sometimes I will you will stay abit longer in several places
(21:09):
just to visit around, it wasjust such a great opportunity
for me.
And and that's the thing, likeafter kind of like getting at
the end of the you know, of thatof working for that company,
another opportunity came.
Again, I was not searching forit, then COVID came, so I was
(21:31):
just working in that office foruh like six weeks or something,
and then at the end end upworking for for a year because I
mean most of the conference gotcanceled or got moved
afterwards.
But then, you know, it's aboutseeing the things with an open
eyes, with an opportunityinstead of uh a limitation of
(21:51):
fear, even though fear is gonnabe there, but it's about going
through that fear, and that'swhen you know the opportunity to
become a freelancer and anentrepreneur came in.
And I was like, Yeah, I'm readyfor this.
Uh I'm just taking it, youknow.
And now I actually make moremoney as a freelancer that I
(22:15):
used to do before working at ancompany itself, with uh, you
know.
So yeah, that had shifted, andmy my business is going better,
it's growing little by little,but I'm just so happy with it.
I mean, the transformation thatI get to see in people that
work with me are justphenomenal, and and it's just so
(22:36):
satisfactory for me just to bea witness of how they can
improve their lives.
It's just it's just sobeautiful because we don't
realize we are so stuck in ourbubbles that we don't realize
that we can live much better.
So, yeah, I'm just gonna leavethe seed in there for you.
(22:59):
And um another thing thathappened here in this actually,
this was more like in the pastfive years.
Well, no, it started beforebecause when I moved here, well,
I'm talking about my spiritualpath.
When I moved here, I was like,okay, I want to finally start
(23:23):
exercising because I was verylazy before to tell you the
truth, and I was like, Well, I'mstarting in a new country, new
routine, so let's put exerciseinto the you know, into the
equation.
So it's when I found yoga, andafter practicing for a few
years, it's when uh my body andmind finally connected, and then
(23:47):
from there I started changingmy eating habits, started
meditating more, and then I tooka certification as a coaching
habits, then I took professionaltraining in yoga, and then in
meditation, so all that combinedelements really took me deeper
into my spiritual path, whichI'm super grateful.
And yeah, that was that wassomething.
(24:11):
And what it took me actuallydeeper, it was the last six
years after the transition of myfather.
And that's the next thing thatI want to share is the fact that
the fear of losing someone whenliving abroad is going to
happen.
Because the truth is that issomething that we can't control,
(24:35):
and it's something that isgonna happen no matter, no
matter what.
And we will never be preparedfor that.
We can't.
We can't.
So yeah, but that's one of thethings that we gotta, you know,
that we gotta experience wherewe are away.
And that's that's what is.
And now that I that I havebecome a digital nomad, you
(24:59):
know, which is other things thatI have achieved in the past
years, and becoming a snowbird,it has been so great for me
because then I have thatflexibility of spending more
time with my family and moretime with my friends in Mexico.
And it's just, you know, such agreat gift and something that I
(25:22):
want to keep cultivating, youknow, and keep going forward
with it.
And what else?
Well, my civil status haschanged a few times.
I'm happily single at thismoment, but I mean, when I got
here, I was married, then I gotdivorced, and then I got married
again, and then divorced again.
(25:43):
So life happens in themeantime, you know.
And it's just yeah, that'sthat's life, and understanding
that being present and being, Imean, uh as fully as possible
(26:04):
with what we are experiencing atthe moment, that's what count
counts.
You know, yeah, I mean that'sthe flow of life, and and I
think it's okay to follow whatyour soul is telling you to do
because I know there are a lotof women staying in their
(26:29):
marriages, even though if theyare unhappy, and I understand
that sometimes it's because offinancial you know support and
and things like that, but what Ican say is try to find a way to
get out of there and go afteryour happiness.
(26:53):
It might take you a bit, a fewsteps, turns and rounds, and you
know, and sometimes going inloops.
But it's possible.
It it is possible.
Just don't let your civilstatus define you or make you
(27:16):
feel unhappy and miserable.
Life is too short to do that.
It's too short.
We never know.
We don't know if we're gonna behere tomorrow, so just a kind
reminder, right?
And last but not least, well, Icontinue to build my dream
(27:36):
life.
You know, it keeps shifting,like I'd say at the very
beginning, I also arrive herewith that invisible luggage full
of dreams, and the more I canget to into that little piece of
luggage, you know, there's moredreams unfolding in there that
(28:00):
I they didn't know they existed.
Like seriously, I never thoughtabout being an entrepreneur, I
never thought about becoming adigital nomad.
And and many other things thatI have become in these 15 years
that I've been living here.
So just allowed life to driveyou, you know, like really it's
(28:25):
about that uh trust in Gas, inGod, universe, source, whoever
you want to call it, becausewe're always shifting, even
though if we don't want it, Imean we keep growing and
evolving, and and it's aboutbeing open to those
possibilities, to those new waysto live better, to and love and
(28:52):
to enjoy life.
Because you are here to enjoylife, not to be stuck in in
misery or in a nine to five thatyou don't like, or in a
marriage that you feel stuck, orin a situation that it makes
you feel uncomfortable.
It's coming back to the firsttwo things that I started with:
(29:20):
courage and resilience.
Have that courage to go throughthat fear of whatever you have
to go through to move forward.
You have it in you, you havethat power, you do so.
Use that courage, use just thatpower and that resilience
(29:42):
because that resilience keepsbuilding up and up and up, and
is the one that is going topropel you forward to stretch
yourself for another step andfrom another step and for
another step, because this lifeis worth living.
Every step of it when we are upthe top, and we when we are
(30:05):
down the hill in the hole aswell.
That's the roller coaster ofit, and it's worth living.
So don't forget that.
Keep enjoying your life one wayor another.
Find ways to feel better everyday, even if it's a little bit
(30:26):
of the misery that you arefeeling at this moment.
But there's hope.
And there's places where youcan find them just, you know, by
being outdoors and breathingfresh air, just by being
grateful for what you have atthis very moment.
Because the truth is thatgratitude is so important
(30:48):
because that's the only way thatyou're gonna be able to
appreciate whatever you areasking for to receive,
otherwise, you're just gonnareceive it and keep going and
keep asking and whatever.
But no, it's about enjoying thejourney.
So that's my invitation.
(31:12):
Yeah, that's my invitation.
So in this Canadian Keynesianera, resume that I just shared
with you is that yes, enjoylife, you deserve it, you are
worthy, you are whole, you areloved, and you can do it.
(31:38):
And if you request somesupport, I am here for you.
I'll be more than happy tosupport you in your journey.
Thank you so much for beinghere, for listening to my
stories here.
I hope you enjoy it.
I I did actually.
It took me a bit to find uh thetune to get in here and share
(32:03):
it.
And I'm so glad that I did itbecause it feels so good, it
feels so freeing.
And I hope that in a way youfeel inspired in a little tiny
story for the ones that I that Ishared because I'm sure that
you can relate to some of thesethings more if you are an
(32:23):
immigrant or if you have movedto live in another country, or
you know, anyway, all this thatI share is actually about life
transitions, and we're alwaystransitioning, so yeah.
Thank you so much again.
Much love to you.
(32:44):
Much love to you.
Take care, and until next time,share this with your friends.
Thank you for tuning in toMidlife Butterfly.
I hope this episode empowersyou in some way.
Share the love by hittingfollow wherever you're listening
(33:05):
and leave a review if you feelinspired.
I also love to connect withyou.
Come say hi on Instagram atMidlife Butterfly.
I love to know you.
Until next time, keep spreadingthose wings and live enjoy,
growth, and pleasure!
Hey beauty, welcome back to the Midlife Butterfly
Podcast.
This is your host, Ken Asiu,and I'm so happy you're here for
the 40 episode.
How cool is that?
We keep rolling, we keeprolling.
So keep sharing the wisdom fromhere, you know, the talks, the
conversations, and everythingthat is happening.
(00:21):
So we can grow this communityand more people can get a sense
of uh uh what is to be a midlifebutterfly.
Either if you're a woman or aman, it doesn't matter.
You are here, and I am very,very grateful for it.
Midlife butterfly, a woman inthe sacred in-between.
(00:43):
She's not who she once was, andnot quite who she's becoming
yet.
She's unraveling, awakening,remembering.
She's navigating lifetransitions, divorce, loss,
reinvation moves, with a burningdesire for freedom, joy, and
souled living.
She feels the pull to rise, tofly.
(01:04):
She's no longer afraid of herown wings.
So let's get started withtoday's conversation, actually.
I'm celebrating, besides the40th episode, my Canadian
quinceañera.
Well, I'm I'm Mexican, so Idon't know if you have heard of
(01:24):
what a quinceanera is.
So it's when we celebrate the15th uh birthday anniversary of
women.
I know in the States and Iguess in Canada as well as the
sweet 16th or something likethat, but for us it's the 15th.
That's the magical number.
And yeah, so I want to sharesome of the experiences that I
(01:49):
have built, that I have learned,you know, by yeah, being here
for 15 years since I got here.
It's it feels unreal now that Isay it.
It's like uh it feels like longtime ago, but at the same time,
(02:12):
it feels like wow, it went sofast.
Uh it is amazing how wellanyway, what's time is just we
know it's not linear, so it'sinteresting.
And so I want to share with you15 learning lessons, I don't
(02:33):
know, or 15 experiences that Ihave uh uh had since I got here.
And so the first one of themwould be courage.
Oh hell yeah.
It is require a lot of courageto arrive to a new country, and
this is was not actually myfirst ride before before here I
(02:55):
was living in Romania for threeyears, and over there, yeah,
Romanian language didn't come tomy you know knowledge at all.
I just knew a few words,whatever.
But here, even though I alreadyknew you know English, it was
still challenging in otherplaces that I'm gonna speak
about later on.
(03:16):
And yeah, but that courage, youknow, of just arriving here
with two pieces of luggage andan invisible piece full of
dreams, you know.
I just knew two, three peoplewhen I got here, and that was
about it, like kind of startingfrom scratch.
(03:38):
It fucking took a lot ofcourage, a lot of it.
And another thing wasresilience.
Holy shit, that keeps buildingover and over again, and even
through these old lives anddeaths that I have experienced
in these 15 years living here inCanada.
(03:59):
And one of the things that Ifaced at the very beginning here
was the language, becauseagain, even when I spoke English
by then, I'm in Quebec, youknow, so French is considered
the main language in here.
And it's crazy because evenwhen Montreal is an
(04:19):
international city, known thatthere's a lot of tourists coming
in here, most of the things,you know, like even
transportation, uh, publictransportation, all that is in
French.
So instead of embracing havingtwo languages, they got stuck in
only like, no, let's save orguard, you know, or French main
(04:45):
language, which I understand ina way, but at the same time, I
think it's embracing both.
It opens more opportunities toeveryone.
Yeah, so what it happens to mekind of like at the beginning
when I got here, I went to thegovernment office, they were
offering a prime program.
(05:06):
I don't know if that one existsstill.
So, what it was about is so Iwill apply for it and then I
will get a job where I will getpaid the minimum wage for six
months, and the government willpay for it.
So that will help me and thecompany that I was working with,
(05:28):
of course, at the same time, togain for me like then job
experience and then for thecompanies to save quite some
money there, right?
The cool part was after gettingthe program, well, after
getting very pissed at thegovernment officer because what
happened is I got there, I sayhello and everything else,
(05:51):
bonjour, blah blah blah, when Igot there.
And when we were about tostart, so I handled the folder
with my file to this person, andwhen we were about to start the
conversation, I asked him, canwe continue in English?
Because my English is betterthan my French.
All he did was closing thefolder in front of my face,
(06:15):
handed it back to me, and hesaid, Come back when you know
French.
Boom.
I left.
So pissed, you don't have aclue.
I was furious at that timebecause again, here I mean the
(06:37):
two languages supposed to be,you know, official, but then for
some people, they are veryvery, very what's the word?
I forgot about it.
Anyway, you know what I mean.
They just want to speak French.
It ends up I had two great jobswith two different companies,
(06:58):
and I was always speakingEnglish.
So just to let you know, butit's just that resilience that
you know continue being thereand at the very beginning, and
then through, you know, it keptbuilding by you know, building
relationships and then losingrelationships, and all those
(07:20):
stories of the human experiencethat has helped me like
strengthen that re resiliencewithin me that it keep helped me
keep going.
Keep going.
It's it's it's it's a reallygood muscle to develop.
So just to let you know, keepit in mind, yeah.
(07:42):
So, like I mentioned before,like learning French.
Oh my goodness, that wassomething else because it really
took me a lot of extra energy.
I was working 9 to 5, and thenI would go to French classes
from 6 to 10.
That would be at least fromMonday to Thursday.
So they were long, long days,and that yeah, it lasted for
(08:07):
almost two years.
Probably the last six months, Itook more of like grammar and
speech, something like that.
That it was, I guess, twoclasses per week, but still,
like, yeah, it took a lot of uhenergy to have those long days
(08:28):
to learn the the language, andthen also too much of a mental
tiredness.
I mean, I don't know if if ithas happened to you sometimes
that at one point you are notlike your mind is just not
functioning anymore.
Like, seriously, I would gethome at the end of the day, and
then I was like, like Frenchwill not go through anymore.
(08:52):
I will be just so, so tired.
And then one of the things thatalso happened to me that it was
very frustrating, and if youknow more than two or three
languages, I'm sure you knowabout this.
The fact that okay, you'refinally getting into learning
the language and trying to putthings together in your, you
(09:14):
know, in your head, so you wantto be part of the conversation.
So by the time you finally putthe sentence together in your
head, the conversation alreadychanged, the conversation just
moved on, and I was like, Oh mygod, like all this, you know,
(09:34):
effort.
And but anyway, it's just it'spart of the journey, I will say.
And for me again, that talkingabout the French part, it took
me just a decision.
Like finally, I was over here,like here for over a year, and
my friends, since my boyfriendat Thailand was French, and his
(09:55):
friends also, so we will theywill make the effort to speak
English with me, which I'mreally appreciated.
But at one point, you knowwhat?
He came, which year was it?
2012, and I said, please speakto me in French.
I freaking need to move withthis thing because I was already
studying French for what forone year, but I I didn't want to
(10:19):
speak it for some, I don'tknow, like not for some reason.
That reason was like, you know,you are afraid to make
mistakes, and then of course,the sounds of French are very
different, and a lot of them, alot of sounds I cannot make
still because it they're notfamiliar either with Spanish or
with French.
(10:40):
So until one point, it's justlike you know, get to just
surrender and said, Okay, thisis my accent, this is how it's
gonna sound, and it's okay, Ihave studied it enough, so just
like give it a go.
And yeah, so to what day againI did that make the decision.
I said, just speak to me inFrench, and yeah, I think within
(11:01):
three months or something, Iwas just getting fluent and
fluent.
It was just about taking thatdecision of saying, okay, let's
go, let's go.
Another thing, the stretch.
I had, I can say, yeah, myworst job ever.
(11:23):
I was working for thismarketing company, and then we
had to call how did they call itlike those calls that you call
to ask questions and figure outwhat kind of products they sell
and blah blah blah.
So at least this was a projectthat we were in, and it was just
(11:44):
oh, it was so draining.
And then you I was in thisfreaking cubicle of not even one
meter long.
You have this, you know, thiscomputer where you can see every
minute passing by with thetelephone just next to it.
And what it frustrated me themost was the fact that to be
able to get the information tothe person with the person that
(12:04):
I was talking to, I needed tolie.
You know, and that really thatwas the stretch.
Like it did, it was a job thatit really didn't sync with my
values.
Because I'm not gonna say, Oh,I have never lied.
No, but I mean, there's no needsometimes to lie, you know.
(12:27):
So, and for those things, yeah,no, no, no, no, no.
So that was a huge stretch toactually, okay, let's hold on
and you know, for a while.
I I guess I was in that projectfor a couple of months or
something, and then it was justlike, okay, let's focus, like,
because you might know thatsearching for a job is a job
(12:49):
itself.
So that's what I did.
I took a couple of months toreally go and search for a job,
and and it paid off at the end.
And one of the things I alsolearned that is that the
personal touch is veryimportant, you know, because
talking about those two jobsthat I that I had, two main
(13:11):
jobs, that personal touch ofprinting my CV, putting it on
the on a folder, having, youknow, putting a business card on
it.
That was what actually got methose two jobs.
But not only that, of course,my presence and my energy by
(13:32):
going over there personally andhandling those papers to someone
in the in those companies,right?
I know those made thedifference.
And yeah, so just considerthat.
Sometimes, yeah, personaltouch, and I think we have kind
of like lost it a lot now thatwe spend a lot of time online,
(13:53):
but having that presence, it'sit's necessary, and more now
than ever, I I think.
So don't miss that, don't missit.
Another thing is oh, the mix ofemotions, yeah, because
building a new life, it's in adifferent country, or even it
(14:19):
could be in a different city ifyou have experience, you know.
It's it's about missingbirthdays, missing holidays, and
so many uh special occasionswith the family and also with
some friends, and and justbecause we continue to hold that
(14:44):
dream, you know, to to livebetter lives or or just to by
knowing that even when beingabroad, like I'm living the life
that I want, and some of thebetween quotes cost to pay is to
(15:06):
miss a lot of things, and thatcreates a lot of mixed emotions,
so it's just about letting themflow, you know.
The culture here, I love it.
I mean, and the thing isMontreal is the the biggest city
here in Quebec, and so there'speople from all over the world,
(15:28):
and and also it depends likewhere you go.
There are differentneighborhoods where it's gonna
be more people from I don'tknow, like the Latinos, and on
other places are gonna be moreFrench people, in other places
are gonna be more people fromIndia and Pakistan, and and then
the north side of the city ismore like uh francophone, the
(15:49):
the west part is moreanglophone, you know, all those
things.
But uh just in general, I meanI just love it here.
It's it's more peaceful andrespectful compared to Mexico
and to Romania as well, eventhough, of course, there were
some shocking experiencessometimes that's everywhere, but
(16:14):
yeah, I I do I do really enjoyit.
And the other thing is aboutyou know the new friendships
that you get to build when yougo to a to a new place.
Here people are welcoming ingeneral.
I mean, I mean, most of myfriends are immigrants, to tell
you the truth.
Even though when Quebecers theydo welcome people, I what I've
(16:39):
seen, I mean, I have only a fewfriends, like I can count them
with my hand, the friends that Ihave that actually are from
Quebec.
So it's it's very rare to makefriends from here.
At the same time, I'm verygrateful that they they welcome
us, but I think it's just adifferent mentality when you are
an immigrant and you are kindof like more open to make
(17:02):
friendships.
And yeah, and then more when Iarrived, I mean 15 years ago, I
was I was very young, and alsomy group of friends, they were
young, you know, then theystarted getting married and then
having children, and I started,of course, the dynamics have
changed since then, you know,but it's just how it's you know,
it has shifted.
(17:23):
Um, but then gettingfriendships from different
places, and of course, you makenew friends and then you lose
them, and then you make otherones, and then now you know, in
and at being in midlife, it'sand not only here, I know like
in general, it's a bitchallenging to have new new
(17:47):
friendships or to make newfriendships, even though I don't
know, it might kind of liketurnaround.
I don't know.
Like that's why I startedmaking you know creating these
women's circles past in um thisAugust, and just I mean, we're
having one tomorrow, and there'salready 12 women sign up, and I
(18:09):
only know two of them, like theother ones I don't know, so it
it is that people really areeager to have more friendships.
I think just being in a phone,of course, is not fucking
enough, and having deepconversations and having the
presence of our of others andfeeling seen and heard is
(18:33):
something that is needed fromeveryone, and not from a place
of ego, but from a place of thatconnection as human beings, and
then another thing I thinkthat's my belief, but that's how
(18:54):
I perceive it that there is abit less of judgment by being an
immigrant because you know, Imean, it means that you leave
your roots, your family, yourculture, you know, to build
something new.
So it's less common thatsomeone is gonna come to judge
(19:17):
you.
Like, are you having kids oryou're not gonna be having kids?
Are you married or you're notmarried, or what kind of status
you have?
Like if I compare it back liketo Mexico, like how the society
is there, generalizing, ofcourse.
Here is very different, and Iand I think it's that because
again, we get here with twopieces of luggage starting from
(19:38):
scratch.
So don't even dare to come andquestion my life because yeah,
no, you can you can you mightget a nice response, but you
might get also a harsh responsebased on that.
Oh, another thing, it's aboutbeing open to opportunities.
(20:03):
You know, I got a job at aninternational association, and I
remember when I got this jobopportunity, and it was actually
in one of the places that Iwent to leave my CV on paper.
But then when I have thisinterview, that was after I
don't know, six months, eightmonths or something.
(20:24):
I was not even looking for ajob at this at that moment, but
that person reached out, andyeah, and he was just like,
Well, you're gonna do this,this, and that, blah, blah,
blah.
I was like, Okay, and then hesaid, Are you gonna be
traveling?
And I was like, sold.
I don't have a clue what I'mgonna do, but if I'm gonna
travel, I'm in.
So I just took it, and it wasfantastic because I had the
(20:48):
opportunity to travel all aroundthe world to every continent
except for Africa.
That one, it was my birthdaypresent for my 40th birthday.
But I mean, traveling around itwas just fantastic, and you
know, again, like new cultures,trying new new foods, and then
sometimes I will you will stay abit longer in several places
(21:09):
just to visit around, it wasjust such a great opportunity
for me.
And and that's the thing, likeafter kind of like getting at
the end of the you know, of thatof working for that company,
another opportunity came.
Again, I was not searching forit, then COVID came, so I was
(21:31):
just working in that office foruh like six weeks or something,
and then at the end end upworking for for a year because I
mean most of the conference gotcanceled or got moved
afterwards.
But then, you know, it's aboutseeing the things with an open
eyes, with an opportunityinstead of uh a limitation of
(21:51):
fear, even though fear is gonnabe there, but it's about going
through that fear, and that'swhen you know the opportunity to
become a freelancer and anentrepreneur came in.
And I was like, Yeah, I'm readyfor this.
Uh I'm just taking it, youknow.
And now I actually make moremoney as a freelancer that I
(22:15):
used to do before working at ancompany itself, with uh, you
know.
So yeah, that had shifted, andmy my business is going better,
it's growing little by little,but I'm just so happy with it.
I mean, the transformation thatI get to see in people that
work with me are justphenomenal, and and it's just so
(22:36):
satisfactory for me just to bea witness of how they can
improve their lives.
It's just it's just sobeautiful because we don't
realize we are so stuck in ourbubbles that we don't realize
that we can live much better.
So, yeah, I'm just gonna leavethe seed in there for you.
(22:59):
And um another thing thathappened here in this actually,
this was more like in the pastfive years.
Well, no, it started beforebecause when I moved here, well,
I'm talking about my spiritualpath.
When I moved here, I was like,okay, I want to finally start
(23:23):
exercising because I was verylazy before to tell you the
truth, and I was like, Well, I'mstarting in a new country, new
routine, so let's put exerciseinto the you know, into the
equation.
So it's when I found yoga, andafter practicing for a few
years, it's when uh my body andmind finally connected, and then
(23:47):
from there I started changingmy eating habits, started
meditating more, and then I tooka certification as a coaching
habits, then I took professionaltraining in yoga, and then in
meditation, so all that combinedelements really took me deeper
into my spiritual path, whichI'm super grateful.
And yeah, that was that wassomething.
(24:11):
And what it took me actuallydeeper, it was the last six
years after the transition of myfather.
And that's the next thing thatI want to share is the fact that
the fear of losing someone whenliving abroad is going to
happen.
Because the truth is that issomething that we can't control,
(24:35):
and it's something that isgonna happen no matter, no
matter what.
And we will never be preparedfor that.
We can't.
We can't.
So yeah, but that's one of thethings that we gotta, you know,
that we gotta experience wherewe are away.
And that's that's what is.
And now that I that I havebecome a digital nomad, you
(24:59):
know, which is other things thatI have achieved in the past
years, and becoming a snowbird,it has been so great for me
because then I have thatflexibility of spending more
time with my family and moretime with my friends in Mexico.
And it's just, you know, such agreat gift and something that I
(25:22):
want to keep cultivating, youknow, and keep going forward
with it.
And what else?
Well, my civil status haschanged a few times.
I'm happily single at thismoment, but I mean, when I got
here, I was married, then I gotdivorced, and then I got married
again, and then divorced again.
(25:43):
So life happens in themeantime, you know.
And it's just yeah, that'sthat's life, and understanding
that being present and being, Imean, uh as fully as possible
(26:04):
with what we are experiencing atthe moment, that's what count
counts.
You know, yeah, I mean that'sthe flow of life, and and I
think it's okay to follow whatyour soul is telling you to do
because I know there are a lotof women staying in their
(26:29):
marriages, even though if theyare unhappy, and I understand
that sometimes it's because offinancial you know support and
and things like that, but what Ican say is try to find a way to
get out of there and go afteryour happiness.
(26:53):
It might take you a bit, a fewsteps, turns and rounds, and you
know, and sometimes going inloops.
But it's possible.
It it is possible.
Just don't let your civilstatus define you or make you
(27:16):
feel unhappy and miserable.
Life is too short to do that.
It's too short.
We never know.
We don't know if we're gonna behere tomorrow, so just a kind
reminder, right?
And last but not least, well, Icontinue to build my dream
(27:36):
life.
You know, it keeps shifting,like I'd say at the very
beginning, I also arrive herewith that invisible luggage full
of dreams, and the more I canget to into that little piece of
luggage, you know, there's moredreams unfolding in there that
(28:00):
I they didn't know they existed.
Like seriously, I never thoughtabout being an entrepreneur, I
never thought about becoming adigital nomad.
And and many other things thatI have become in these 15 years
that I've been living here.
So just allowed life to driveyou, you know, like really it's
(28:25):
about that uh trust in Gas, inGod, universe, source, whoever
you want to call it, becausewe're always shifting, even
though if we don't want it, Imean we keep growing and
evolving, and and it's aboutbeing open to those
possibilities, to those new waysto live better, to and love and
(28:52):
to enjoy life.
Because you are here to enjoylife, not to be stuck in in
misery or in a nine to five thatyou don't like, or in a
marriage that you feel stuck, orin a situation that it makes
you feel uncomfortable.
It's coming back to the firsttwo things that I started with:
(29:20):
courage and resilience.
Have that courage to go throughthat fear of whatever you have
to go through to move forward.
You have it in you, you havethat power, you do so.
Use that courage, use just thatpower and that resilience
(29:42):
because that resilience keepsbuilding up and up and up, and
is the one that is going topropel you forward to stretch
yourself for another step andfrom another step and for
another step, because this lifeis worth living.
Every step of it when we are upthe top, and we when we are
(30:05):
down the hill in the hole aswell.
That's the roller coaster ofit, and it's worth living.
So don't forget that.
Keep enjoying your life one wayor another.
Find ways to feel better everyday, even if it's a little bit
(30:26):
of the misery that you arefeeling at this moment.
But there's hope.
And there's places where youcan find them just, you know, by
being outdoors and breathingfresh air, just by being
grateful for what you have atthis very moment.
Because the truth is thatgratitude is so important
(30:48):
because that's the only way thatyou're gonna be able to
appreciate whatever you areasking for to receive,
otherwise, you're just gonnareceive it and keep going and
keep asking and whatever.
But no, it's about enjoying thejourney.
So that's my invitation.
(31:12):
Yeah, that's my invitation.
So in this Canadian Keynesianera, resume that I just shared
with you is that yes, enjoylife, you deserve it, you are
worthy, you are whole, you areloved, and you can do it.
(31:38):
And if you request somesupport, I am here for you.
I'll be more than happy tosupport you in your journey.
Thank you so much for beinghere, for listening to my
stories here.
I hope you enjoy it.
I I did actually.
It took me a bit to find uh thetune to get in here and share
(32:03):
it.
And I'm so glad that I did itbecause it feels so good, it
feels so freeing.
And I hope that in a way youfeel inspired in a little tiny
story for the ones that I that Ishared because I'm sure that
you can relate to some of thesethings more if you are an
(32:23):
immigrant or if you have movedto live in another country, or
you know, anyway, all this thatI share is actually about life
transitions, and we're alwaystransitioning, so yeah.
Thank you so much again.
Much love to you.
(32:44):
Much love to you.
Take care, and until next time,share this with your friends.
Thank you for tuning in toMidlife Butterfly.
I hope this episode empowersyou in some way.
Share the love by hittingfollow wherever you're listening
(33:05):
and leave a review if you feelinspired.
I also love to connect withyou.
Come say hi on Instagram atMidlife Butterfly.
I love to know you.
Until next time, keep spreadingthose wings and live enjoy,
growth, and pleasure!
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