December 12, 2025 • 39 mins
When the plan on your vision board doesn’t materialize, it’s tempting to bury the dream. We take a different route: revise the vision. Together we unpack how unmet expectations—at work, in love, or in personal goals—often hurt more than the events themselves, and we walk through practical ways to name the real emotion underneath the sting so you can move with clarity instead of shame.
We map the disappointment loop—unmet expectation, emotional dip, self-doubt, withdrawal, stagnation—and show you how to break it with a simple, powerful debrief: What happened? What did I expect? What did I learn? What do I choose next? From there, we explore reframing as a daily practice, grounding in faith when doors close, and the surprising gift of redirection. A closed door can be protection or preparation; either way, it can point you toward a better, more aligned path.
You’ll hear candid insights on isolation, procrastination, and over-functioning, plus affirmations you can use right away: Even with my disappointment, I am not disqualified, and I release what was and I’m open to what can be. We talk about editing your goals to match who you are now, pivoting strategy without abandoning purpose, and building resilience with a supportive circle—coaches, mentors, and friends who help you choose aligned action over force. If you’re navigating midlife shifts, this conversation offers language, tools, and hope to turn setbacks into strategy and doubt into agency.
Enjoyed the conversation? Share it with a friend, subscribe for more midlife insights, and leave a review to tell us what you’re reframing next.
Subscribe @CoachStacyMLewis and @CoachWayneVIP
💃🏽Stacy M. Lewis
🌍 thestacymlewis.com
Schedule a Connecting Conversation
LinkedIn | Facebook | Instagram | YouTube
🎩Wayne Dawson
🌍 viptransformativeliving.com
Book a Discovery Call
LinkedIn | Facebook | Instagram
Spotify, Apple, iHeartRadio, Amazon
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Coach Stacy (00:02):
What do you do when life doesn't look like what you
prayed for, planned for, orposted on your vision board?
When the job, the relationship,or the dream you thought would
bring you joy instead leaves youquestioning your purpose.
Let's talk about it.
Coach Wayne (00:22):
You found the midlife revolution unleashed,
the space to embrace yourwisdom, reignite your passions,
and move boldly into what'snext.
I am Coach Wayne, the VIP coach.
Coach Stacy (00:36):
And I'm Coach Stacy M.
Lewis.
We're here with insights,stories, and strategies to fuel
your midlife journey.
So take a breath, lean in.
Your revolution starts now.
Coach Wayne (00:52):
Stacey, I'll tell you, no matter what kind of day
or night or evening or wheneveror whatever we're having, I'm
having, when I hear that cooldub that introduces us, I'm all
right.
I love it.
Stacey, what's up?
Coach Stacy (01:10):
Welcome, welcome, welcome back.
Welcome to the MidlifeRevolution Unleashed.
I am your co-host, Coach StacyM.
Lewis.
I'm a nonprofit executive, amidlife woman coach, a lover of
God and his people.
And I am so excited to be hereonce again with my partner in
(01:30):
podcasting crime, Coach Wayne.
Coach Wayne, what's going on?
Coach Wayne (01:35):
Hey, Stace, I am Coach Wayne, the VIP coach.
What I do, I help brothersnavigate midlife so that their
second half can be their besthalf.
And Stacy, I'm excited.
It's the season.
Folks spend a lot of money,money that they don't even have,
but it's the season for givingand for receiving and for
(01:57):
planning ahead and forreflecting and looking at the
vision.
And sometimes, Stacy, sometimeswe don't need a burial when the
vision hasn't come alive.
What we need is a revision.
What do you think?
Coach Stacy (02:17):
I I actually love it.
Uh, thus the title of today'sepisode: When the Door Closes,
look for the window.
We spend a lot of time uhreflecting and thinking about
what went well, what didn't gowell, all of that, which is so
important.
But we want to remind ourlistener that this is really the
(02:40):
time to pay attention, even tohow you're looking back.
And you're absolutely right.
The vision may not need aburial, maybe it just needs a
little resuscitation orsomething like that.
Coach Wayne (02:52):
That's right.
And you gotta know that beinghonest and truthful is where it
all begins.
That means let us name what itis that we're that's that's that
we're looking at.
We have to become aware.
So when we wanna, when we wanna,we gotta name it, Stacey.
(03:13):
We gotta name it.
We gotta name the thing and thefeeling so that we can begin to
do the work and either redefineor define it differently.
So, you know, that's where thehealing happens.
Coach Stacy (03:26):
You know, Coach, I think we um let's do a little
setting of the stage, so tospeak.
And so today we're reallytalking about um unpacking how
to handle the discouragement,the disappointment, maybe, as we
reflect, uh, how to handle thosethings with grace.
To your point, Coach Wayne, howto identify the root causes of
(03:50):
those disappointments and thosediscouragements, uh, how to
reframe that failure uh intofeedback, and how to create
space for renewal.
So let's we set that stage.
Now let's dive on in, CoachWayne.
You were talking aboutidentifying the root causes.
(04:12):
So yeah.
Coach Wayne (04:15):
There are times when we are in a space, and I
know for a lot of people thatthis time of year, these
holidays, especially at the endof the year, the Thanksgiving,
Christmas season holidays, for alot of folks, it's reflective,
but it also brings back anenergy that's down for folks,
(04:36):
disappointments, um, losses, andand so there are times that we
go through it and our moodbecomes the way, you know,
whereas we're just feeling sadand down and and at a loss.
And unless we and and we give weattribute the season to this
thing.
So we say, oh, when Christmascomes, we're sad.
(04:59):
And partially that's because wehaven't stopped to to name it,
to own what it is, so that wecan then separate it from the
season itself and deal with thething.
Coach Stacy (05:13):
Yeah, yeah, it's it's important to name a thing,
right?
You can't reveal, you can't hearwhat you don't reveal.
Uh, sometimes thatdisappointment is really less
about the event, to your to yourpoint, the the holiday season um
or that thing that happened, andthe disappointment may be more
about the expectation that weattached to it.
(05:38):
Um, really looking at what whatdid we expect when we
implemented that activity, orwhen we uh planned for the
promotion at work, or when welooked really to engage a new
lever in our business?
What was our expectation?
(05:58):
Um, what was our expectation ofthat individual that we're in
relationship with, or thosepeople, right?
The family, even that we're inrelationship.
Is it really the disappointmentabout the event, um, about
somebody's behavior, or abouthow the uh the business lever
(06:20):
didn't operate or or result inthe end?
Um, or is it more about theexpectation that we attach to
it?
And is that what we really needto reflect on and move forward
from?
Coach Wayne (06:36):
Yeah, you talk about that expectation.
Yeah, we we become storytellersand we tell ourselves the most
important story, right?
The one that we believe in, itshapes our belief system and uh
impacts the way that we perform.
And so sometimes, you know, wemay have a belief that because
(06:56):
we were supposed to put anaddition on our house uh by
December, but the folks who areputting together the bricks or
whatever, the door, they are ongo slow.
So it doesn't happen December.
It's gonna happen anyway.
We start saying that we didn'tcome through, we start feeling
(07:17):
depressed, we start feeling likewe lost, that we promised you
know, our our partner that wewould have this done, the extra
stuff that we said.
And and because we we have aflawed expectation and we're not
willing to see outside of thebox and give ourselves grace, we
wind up beating ourselves up.
(07:40):
And so we're saying it doesn'thave to be like that, Stacy.
Coach Stacy (07:44):
It doesn't.
This really is a great time forus to retrain our brain um to
reflect well, to reflect from aplace of possibility uh and not
from a place of failure orjudgment.
And so uh, you know, onequestion you can ask yourself is
(08:10):
what specific expectation didn'tget met?
What what was that expectation?
Um what did I expect to happen,right?
When when the uh when thataddition on the home uh was
supposed to be fit, what whatdid I expect?
Um, you know, what did I expectas I overperformed at work?
(08:33):
What what did I expect and andhow did that not get met?
Coach Wayne (08:38):
And to name the emotion that's underneath this
this feeling, thisdisappointment, um, is it shame?
Is it anger?
Is it sadness?
Is it fatigue?
Name that emotion because now ifyou you know, like a doctor, if
there's no, if you have asymptom but no diagnosis,
(08:59):
there's no real treatment.
So if you want to treat this,right, Stacy, we gotta do a
little doctoring on ourselveswith the emotion.
Coach Stacy (09:07):
Yeah, a little, yeah, absolutely, right?
We do believe in self-coachingas well.
Sometimes you have to justreally examine uh yourself in a
way that doesn't come withjudgment, but that comes with
the reality or the authenticityof really deeply naming
something, not just saying, oh,you know, I'm disappointed.
(09:31):
But what what does that reallymean?
You know, that I know do you useWayne in your coaching practice?
Do you ever use the emotionswheel?
Coach Wayne (09:41):
Yeah, I do.
Coach Stacy (09:42):
Yeah, right.
And it is that idea that we usethese surface words, so to
speak, right?
The words that are on the theoutside or the periphery of the
wheel, um, when those wordsreally do have deeper meanings.
And so I love that you talkedabout naming it.
(10:02):
Um, you know, is it sadness?
Is it shame?
I mean, that's shame.
Ooh, especially, I don't knowhow it is for for men, uh, but
for women, you know, shame cancan really manifest itself in
different ways.
And so it is important to name athing a thing, uh, so that we
(10:23):
can really begin to moveforward.
Coach Wayne (10:25):
Now, full transparency, as we talk about
that, I realized that a lot ofthe feelings that I had, and I
would call them, you know,frustration and other things.
When I started understanding thewheel, I realized that at the
bottom of that were someunsettled anger.
And that anger in therapy, Ifound out had to do with uh the
(10:47):
loss of my father, yeah, and andthe relationship I had with him.
Great guy, but there werecertain things that I didn't
quite connect with, and it keptme uh a little bit agitated,
which looked like other things,but it was anger.
And when I was able to deal withthat, boy, I was sailing much
better.
So let's let's do that.
(11:08):
Let's look at uh affirming, youknow, even in our
disappointment, have anaffirmation that says, hmm, even
with my disappointment, I'm notdisqualified.
You're still in the game.
Coach Stacy (11:20):
I I really like that.
Even with my disappointment, Iam not disqualified.
I think you're absolutely right.
It is countering what can causeus to reflect negatively, to
reflect poorly.
It's countering that um with theopportunity to reflect well or
(11:41):
positively um and really beginto dig deep into that reality
and confront it with the truth,right?
I I'm not discounted.
Yes, I was disappointed and ormaybe I was a little discouraged
for a moment, but that does nottake me out of the running.
(12:01):
We still got a lot of life tolive, we got a lot of impact to
make, Wayne.
Gotta keep moving.
Coach Wayne (12:07):
Yeah, and you know, we're talking about roots, the
root of disappointment.
Uh, it shows up.
How does it show up?
Sometimes it shows up in just uhus turning away from a thing,
not facing it.
So we may just just drop theball on it, uh, procrastinate,
take a while to get startedbecause we don't want the the
(12:29):
the real real the disappointmentthat we perceive, yeah.
And so we just don't get itdone, or it may be we isolate
ourselves to avoid thedisappointment.
And I know a lot of times forme, more and I'm being so
transparent today, um isolation.
(12:50):
So, you know, when you're anentrepreneur and you're working
primarily uh online, remotework, it's easy to get caught up
and blame the I'm busy, butsometimes when I I'm not sure if
I'm getting all the things inplace that I promised myself,
and so I'm beating myself up, Idon't show up.
(13:12):
I miss appointments just so thatI could get work done.
I'm overworking and I'misolating myself.
And so that's one of the thingsthat we got to be careful of,
find out what the loop is.
Coach Stacy (13:23):
Yeah, yeah, digging, digging deep is is
really important.
Um, I don't know, Wayne.
I I've not used thedisappointment loop, uh, but I
believe it to be a really uhimpactful way of thinking,
right?
The loop is really what is theunmet expectation?
(13:44):
And how does that begin to causemaybe an emotional dip?
Or to your point, maybe thatisolation or that
procrastination?
How does that emotional dip thencause self-doubt?
How often in discouragement ordisappointment do we find
(14:05):
ourselves in the spiral ofself-doubt?
How does that self-doubt thentake us into withdrawal, as you
were talking about, right?
That isolation.
And then how does thatwithdrawal from our life, our
possibilities, how does that putus into a position of
(14:27):
stagnation?
So that disappointment loop isunmet expectation, emotional dip
into self-doubt, intowithdrawal, into stagnation.
Um, really examining kind of howhow we move through sometimes
disappointment anddiscouragement, so that we can
(14:49):
then begin to find our ways outof uh that disappointment loop.
Coach Wayne (14:54):
Yeah, and it's funny because uh the loop is
really saying it's um it'salmost prophetic, right?
You you own the thing and startseeing yourself as the
disappointment.
So, hey, I'm no good at thisbecause I was disappointed, and
and therefore your performanceis is on the par.
(15:16):
So you actually manifest thedisappointment once again,
because now you're performingless than you can optimally
because you believe that to betrue, and this is part of the
loop.
Um, Stacy, when when we startgetting to this opportune age,
the golden age of midlife, andwe start aging, but more
(15:38):
importantly, saging, we it's soimportant that our self-concept
and self-esteem stays wholebecause we then start defining
the rest of our life based onthe past, oftentimes.
You know, we measure what hasoccurred, and if it's something
(15:59):
that we missed out on, we couldsay, Well, I'm not good at this,
and therefore we don't giveourselves a second shot at it,
if that makes sense.
Coach Stacy (16:07):
Oh, it makes complete sense.
Um because in that stagnation,as you were, you know, just
talking about, um we forget thatwe're still changing, we're
still evolving, and we just kindof stay there, the place you
(16:28):
just described.
Um in a couple of episodes ago,we talked about um the
self-concept, the midlife reviewum of the self-concept and um
applying our renew strategy toreally exploring your
self-concept.
(16:48):
And one opportunity when dealingwith discouragement and
disappointment is really askingyourself, you know, am I trying
to live yesterday's dream intoday's reality?
So it really gives you thatopportunity to to assess, right?
From from again, not a place ofjudgment, but from a place of
(17:11):
compassion and reality thatsays, okay, is that is that
really is that still today'sdream, or is is that yesterday's
dream or yesteryear's dream umthat I'm really trying to bring
forward, and maybe it's time forit to be put away.
Coach Wayne (17:31):
Yeah, yeah.
You're speaking to what we'regonna touch on next, which is
reframing and we live bynarratives.
Every one of us has a story.
And uh Tony Robbins talks aboutthis.
He says, What story are youtelling yourself?
You can tell yourself anempowering story or
(17:53):
disempowering story, but there'salways a story.
And some of us are better thanothers to convince other people
to fall in place with the storythat we give and tell for
ourselves.
But what if we were able toreframe the stories that we have
carried that no longer serve usso that they can leverage us and
(18:14):
launch us to a second half, as Ilike to put it?
What if we can reframe thenarrative so that it empowers
us?
Coach Stacy (18:24):
Yeah, I'd I'd love it.
I think I think the reframe iscritical so often.
The reframe should be a dailypractice.
Uh, so often our thoughts takeus down the road uh of either
negativity or self-judgment ordiscouragement.
Um but but how often can we takethose opportunities daily uh to
(18:48):
to do that reframing?
And um, you know, one of thethings I've used in my practice
is that disappointment debrief,right?
What happened?
What did I expect?
What did I learn?
Right?
What what did I learn, or whatcan I learn, and what do I
(19:11):
choose next?
It really is important to takeourselves through a process that
end result is what's next?
What's what's the what's the newpoint?
What's the new horizon, the newpossibility?
Coach Wayne (19:28):
Stacey, I love your disappointment in debrief
because the fourth stage of itis what do I choose next?
And so when we talk aboutchoice, what we're saying is you
have the agency.
Listening into us, we're notprescribing something that
somebody else outside has to dofor you.
We're saying that you're capableof doing for yourself because at
(19:49):
the end of the day, you havefull agency around the decisions
you make and therefore theresults and status that you
have.
So emotionally, this holidayseason.
If you're having a sad season ora season of disappointment, go
back and look at some of thesestages and see what you can do
(20:10):
because you have full agency tobecome and do.
Coach Stacy (20:15):
Yes.
Yes, we do have agency.
And part of that agency is thatself-accountability, right?
That reminder that, okay, thiswas the decision I made, or this
was the action I implemented.
And this was my expectation.
(20:36):
And here's how my expectationwasn't met.
And yet we want to continue tomove forward.
Here's what I've learned.
Here's what I can do next.
Um, you know, being rooted in infaith, you know, remind I'm
always, always going throughRomans 8, 28 in my mind, that
(21:03):
all things, not just the goodthings, uh, but even the bad
things, all things work togetherfor the good of them who love
the Lord.
And so it for me that helps as agrounding that even when it
(21:26):
things don't go the way Iplanned, even when the door has
closed, you know, to look forthe window, because all things
are working together for mygood, because I love the Lord.
Coach Wayne (21:41):
I like how you brought that around, Stacy.
You know, even when the doorclosed to look for the window,
sometimes the disappointmentthat you think you're dealing
with is actually a Godsend.
It's a way of protecting you,it's a way of preparing you.
Sometimes you think you'reready, but you truly aren't.
(22:03):
You ask somebody to marry you,and they said no, you may have
been saved some pain rightthere, my brother or my sister.
You know, the most high seesbefore you do and understands,
and so you may have been havinga moment, right?
A moment, an emotional or aphysical moment, and that no,
(22:27):
you better thank God for itbecause if you're seeing it as a
disappointment and you could seefarther, you may realize that
this was a no-go, bro.
So, yeah, Stace.
And so we have to sit back andthink about the disappointment
in another way because listen,it may be a closed door, but it
(22:48):
opened up a window.
You know, Stacey, I'll say thisreal fast.
In the past, when um Ojo and Iwould do some work with folks
around couples, uh, it wasinformal kind of work, but we'd
be chatting to folks on thephone, and they would say stuff
like, Um, you know, I'm I'mstill kind of seeing this person
(23:11):
because there is nobody outthere, and we would say, Stop
blocking your blessing.
Because what it meant was youdidn't close the door fully to
allow a window to open up forsomebody else to come through,
right?
So sometimes you're holding onto that thing that already you
(23:32):
know is disappointing, andbecause of that, you haven't had
the opportunities that God haslaid down and is waiting for you
to be fully delivered.
Makes sense, yes.
Coach Stacy (23:48):
Yes, the reality is that same principle uh happens
in our work life, it happens inour businesses where we hold on
to something because we areafraid to let it go.
Whatever that narrative is thatwe're telling ourselves, right?
(24:10):
We want the door to close.
We want the next opportunity,the next business growth, the
next employment opportunity, thenext promotion.
We want that.
Yet we haven't really preparedourselves for it.
(24:32):
We haven't really allowedwhatever that door is to close
so that the next opportunity canpresent itself, so that the
window can open.
And to your well-articulatedpoint about sometime that
rejection being protection, itcan also be that preparation,
(24:55):
right?
That that like how what can youdo right now where you are with
that discouragement, thatdisappointment, that learning to
then be prepared for that windowto open as you close the door or
allow the door to close.
Sometimes, you know, the doorgets forced, it gets slammed,
(25:19):
and it catches us off guard.
Uh, and if that's what hasbrought on the disappointment or
the discouragement, beencouraged because this is
really another opportunity foryou to then reset, prepare, and
relaunch.
Coach Wayne (25:37):
Yeah.
I was uh thank you for for thatconnection, Stace.
I was uh reflecting, uh, and andI realized that in my own life,
whenever I force things, forcethings, uh it never works out
right for me.
And I realized that when I movewith faith, the power that I
(26:03):
have doesn't require force.
When I'm moving with faith, umit sometimes requires a
challenge.
But I'm saying when when youknow God is behind you, there's
a power there that doesn'trequire force.
If that, you know, so so one ofthe things that um I would
(26:24):
suggest to folks is to releasewhat was and in terms of an
affirmation and open and be opento what can be.
I release what was and I'm opento what can be, right?
I'm letting go of what was andI'm open to what can be.
Yes, affirmation.
Coach Stacy (26:45):
Yes, that is a beautiful affirmation, and as we
talk about opportunities to takethat affirmation and begin to
really rebuild our resilience totake all that we've learned in
the disappointments, in thediscouragements, as we have
(27:05):
reframed, we've understood theroot, we've reframed the
narrative, and now it'sopportunity to rebuild or build
a new level of resilience.
Um, I'll refer again to thatepisode, uh, a couple of
episodes.
We'll put it in the show notes.
Um, but that opportunity to do amidlife self-review.
(27:30):
Are your goals aligned with whoyou are now?
Not who you used to be.
What are those realopportunities to couple those
learnings from all of those pastthings, discouragement,
successes, challenges,disappointments, to bring all of
(27:53):
that learning into what do Iknow now that I didn't know
then?
And how does that allow me tobegin to move forward?
Coach Wayne (28:05):
And then resilience is not just on you.
Don't think it's a burden,something that it's all about
you.
That's why you have people inyour corners and people you can
invite into your corners.
A coach, myself, um, mentors,you know, a good listening ear
from a friend or a colleague whois non-judgmental.
(28:28):
Uh, these are part of yourtoolbox in terms of the
resources that you have when itcomes to your resilience to
bounce back, to build, to moveforward.
And I would suggest to folksthat you look around and see
where you have some of those umsupports.
Coach Stacy (28:46):
Yeah, yeah, I I love that and just reflected on
something you said earlier aboutthe striving, right?
Um, kind of moving forward inour own will and determination
in ways that uh may notincorporate or bring to light
(29:10):
our faith and and what we'redoing in partnership or
relationship with God is soimportant to then moving into
this different level ofresilience.
So I was just I was listening toyou and really just reflecting
on that point about notstriving, but really moving
(29:37):
forward purposefully.
Um and in the value of therelationships that you just
talked about, whether it be acoach, a mentor, uh, a trusted
partner, um is really someonethat can then promote your
moving forward without striving,but doing so in alignment with
(30:03):
who you are now, who you arecalled to be, with what your
values are, with what yourvision is.
Um I just I was really all ofthat goodness is swirling around
in my head.
Coach Wayne (30:19):
And Stace, here's a call to men, my brothers, my
brothers.
Get out of the man box.
Disappointment doesn't meanfailure.
Disappointment doesn't mean it'sthe story, whole story of who
you are, your outcome.
All it is is a feedback to sayif the door is closed and you
(30:43):
can't go that away, go thataway.
You know what I mean?
Go through the window, gosomewhere else.
It's probably a gift to justtell you stop wasting time and
energy right here and gosomewhere else.
So I'm gonna invite my brothersand sisters, stop holding on to
all that stuff yourself.
(31:04):
You don't have to carry thatload, let it off and share it
because sometimes somebody'sholding another door open for
you, but only if you would ask.
Coach Stacy (31:14):
That is so good.
Uh, I not that women are in theman box for sure, um, but it is
that that we realizing um thatevery disappointment is is it's
not the end of the road.
Um for women, we often findourselves, in particular in
(31:40):
seasons of disappointment ordiscouragement, we find
ourselves functioning, doing,not really being, but doing, um,
in order to avoid the pain or tonot really deal with the pain of
(32:04):
the discouragement, thedisappointment.
So we just over function, wejust keep going, and it really
is an opportunity to inviterest.
And as we're talking aboutreflecting well, to do so, to
(32:24):
really reflect on as we'veoutlined in this episode, um,
you know, what what is the realfeeling, what is the root cause,
uh, and always an opportunity toshow ourselves grace to get out
of that pattern ofoverfunctioning and really step
(32:46):
into a pattern of acknowledgingthe pain, the source, the
disappointment, thediscouragement, of moving
through it, of learning from it,inviting grace and moving
forward.
Coach Wayne (33:01):
And Stacy, you know, let's be clear your goals
aren't etched in cement.
Your vision board, you canalways edit, you can always
erase, you can always redo, youcan always repurpose, remodel,
(33:21):
reframe.
So, what we're suggesting isthat during this season, uh our
uh seasoned folks, when you lookback, and there are things that
never happened on somebodyelse's timeline, usually, on
somebody else's uh expectationsthat you have made your own, you
(33:43):
can always change that.
You can always sit back andrenew the vision so it's in
keeping with your purpose, youridentity, and your own values.
Coach Stacy (33:57):
Absolutely.
I I agree with you on so manylevels, and just reminding that
the strategy is written inpencil.
Yes, ma'am.
In business, you know, thestrategy, you lay out a plan,
(34:17):
you figure out how you're gonnaget there, you know, that goal
is there, you know you want toreach that next financial mark
or reach that next professionalmark, um, or even personal
accomplishment.
But the how we're gonna getthere is what often changes.
(34:38):
It's impacted and influencedthrough uh life's, through
life's experiences, throughchanges, you know, as they say
in the streets, life be life in,right?
And sometimes life jumps inthere and it shifts your
strategy.
And that that open window thatwe're looking for is really our
(35:00):
ability to respond to that shiftin a way that says, okay, this
is the area that thatdisappointment, that discourage,
this is where and how it hasshifted my strategy in order to
move forward with this vision ina way that feels right and
(35:23):
energizing and invigoratingtoday.
Coach Wayne (35:26):
Yep.
Stace, we're at the bottom ofthe hour.
And sometimes, with all that weshared today, powerful I thought
it was today, Stacy.
And I'm so happy you were onthis platform with me,
energizing me so I could go windup.
But you know, because in theholiday season, sometimes we're
distracted with all that glitterand glamour and stuff.
(35:50):
But thank you for sharing theplatform with me, Stacey.
And and and and how can we havefolks benefit from the wisdom
and years of experience andstaging that you offer stage,
Stacey?
Coach Stacy (36:03):
Well, I will just remind that you know, sometimes
the vision doesn't die, itevolves.
And so allow it to evolve.
Uh, those that are watching onLinkedIn and Facebook and
YouTube and Instagram and allthose lovely social channels,
(36:23):
uh, you know how to reach Wayneand I.
Um, and yet it is such anopportunity for us to really
just share some tips, sometools, some knowledge, um, so
that you can really move forwardin this season.
I'm trying to think, Wayne, if Ihave any homework, workplay,
(36:48):
home play uh to assign to ourlisteners.
But what I will say is that, youknow, this is really a season to
thrive.
So whether it be utilizing thetools that Wayne and I have
positioned, in particular thatrenew opportunity, uh, that
renew framework in that midlifeself-review episode, uh, really
(37:12):
seize your opportunities tothrive, to grow, um, and to
identify how you want to moveforward um with power and
purpose.
Coach Wayne (37:25):
Yeah, and stay it's up on the screen, but they'll
also see it in the show notes uhor listeners, the easiest way to
get to us on any of theplatforms you're now listening
to, just get up in there and DMus and say that you want to have
a non-obligatory discovery callor just that get to know us
(37:47):
call.
Yeah, I also have this wonderfulself-assessment, it's a
powerhouse assessment thatspeaks the true true to folks
who um, and this is particularlyto the brothers, but I'll I'll
do one for sisters too.
I practice it on my wife.
It's real, real Stacey.
It's a self-assessment, and itreally gets folks to take a look
(38:11):
at where they are now, the gapsin terms of where they say they
want to be, and then if theywant to move farther, I can tell
them how we can work together tomake that happen.
Coach Stacy (38:22):
So I love it.
I've been hearing some goodthings about this
self-assessment, people.
So jump on it.
We'll make sure that that's alsoin the show notes.
Uh, it is our heart's desirethat you be encouraged uh as a
listener of the MidlifeRevolution Unleashed.
Wayne and I are here to serve.
(38:44):
Wayne, it is always a joy tooccupy this space with you,
these airways with you.
And I don't know, you'll tell mewhere I'm gonna see you, but
know that I'm cheering you on.
Coach Wayne (39:00):
And Stace, I'll see you at the top.
Coach Stacy (39:03):
Until thanks for tuning in to Midlife Revolution
Unleashed.
We're grateful you're part ofthis journey.
Coach Wayne (39:13):
If you love this episode, share it, subscribe,
and hit that notification bellso you don't miss another
episode.
Coach Stacy (39:20):
I'm Coach Stacy, and I'm cheering you on.
Coach Wayne (39:22):
And I'm Coach Wayne, and I'll see you at the
top.
What do you do when life doesn't look like what you
prayed for, planned for, orposted on your vision board?
When the job, the relationship,or the dream you thought would
bring you joy instead leaves youquestioning your purpose.
Let's talk about it.
Coach Wayne (00:22):
You found the midlife revolution unleashed,
the space to embrace yourwisdom, reignite your passions,
and move boldly into what'snext.
I am Coach Wayne, the VIP coach.
Coach Stacy (00:36):
And I'm Coach Stacy M.
Lewis.
We're here with insights,stories, and strategies to fuel
your midlife journey.
So take a breath, lean in.
Your revolution starts now.
Coach Wayne (00:52):
Stacey, I'll tell you, no matter what kind of day
or night or evening or wheneveror whatever we're having, I'm
having, when I hear that cooldub that introduces us, I'm all
right.
I love it.
Stacey, what's up?
Coach Stacy (01:10):
Welcome, welcome, welcome back.
Welcome to the MidlifeRevolution Unleashed.
I am your co-host, Coach StacyM.
Lewis.
I'm a nonprofit executive, amidlife woman coach, a lover of
God and his people.
And I am so excited to be hereonce again with my partner in
(01:30):
podcasting crime, Coach Wayne.
Coach Wayne, what's going on?
Coach Wayne (01:35):
Hey, Stace, I am Coach Wayne, the VIP coach.
What I do, I help brothersnavigate midlife so that their
second half can be their besthalf.
And Stacy, I'm excited.
It's the season.
Folks spend a lot of money,money that they don't even have,
but it's the season for givingand for receiving and for
(01:57):
planning ahead and forreflecting and looking at the
vision.
And sometimes, Stacy, sometimeswe don't need a burial when the
vision hasn't come alive.
What we need is a revision.
What do you think?
Coach Stacy (02:17):
I I actually love it.
Uh, thus the title of today'sepisode: When the Door Closes,
look for the window.
We spend a lot of time uhreflecting and thinking about
what went well, what didn't gowell, all of that, which is so
important.
But we want to remind ourlistener that this is really the
(02:40):
time to pay attention, even tohow you're looking back.
And you're absolutely right.
The vision may not need aburial, maybe it just needs a
little resuscitation orsomething like that.
Coach Wayne (02:52):
That's right.
And you gotta know that beinghonest and truthful is where it
all begins.
That means let us name what itis that we're that's that's that
we're looking at.
We have to become aware.
So when we wanna, when we wanna,we gotta name it, Stacey.
(03:13):
We gotta name it.
We gotta name the thing and thefeeling so that we can begin to
do the work and either redefineor define it differently.
So, you know, that's where thehealing happens.
Coach Stacy (03:26):
You know, Coach, I think we um let's do a little
setting of the stage, so tospeak.
And so today we're reallytalking about um unpacking how
to handle the discouragement,the disappointment, maybe, as we
reflect, uh, how to handle thosethings with grace.
To your point, Coach Wayne, howto identify the root causes of
(03:50):
those disappointments and thosediscouragements, uh, how to
reframe that failure uh intofeedback, and how to create
space for renewal.
So let's we set that stage.
Now let's dive on in, CoachWayne.
You were talking aboutidentifying the root causes.
(04:12):
So yeah.
Coach Wayne (04:15):
There are times when we are in a space, and I
know for a lot of people thatthis time of year, these
holidays, especially at the endof the year, the Thanksgiving,
Christmas season holidays, for alot of folks, it's reflective,
but it also brings back anenergy that's down for folks,
(04:36):
disappointments, um, losses, andand so there are times that we
go through it and our moodbecomes the way, you know,
whereas we're just feeling sadand down and and at a loss.
And unless we and and we give weattribute the season to this
thing.
So we say, oh, when Christmascomes, we're sad.
(04:59):
And partially that's because wehaven't stopped to to name it,
to own what it is, so that wecan then separate it from the
season itself and deal with thething.
Coach Stacy (05:13):
Yeah, yeah, it's it's important to name a thing,
right?
You can't reveal, you can't hearwhat you don't reveal.
Uh, sometimes thatdisappointment is really less
about the event, to your to yourpoint, the the holiday season um
or that thing that happened, andthe disappointment may be more
about the expectation that weattached to it.
(05:38):
Um, really looking at what whatdid we expect when we
implemented that activity, orwhen we uh planned for the
promotion at work, or when welooked really to engage a new
lever in our business?
What was our expectation?
(05:58):
Um, what was our expectation ofthat individual that we're in
relationship with, or thosepeople, right?
The family, even that we're inrelationship.
Is it really the disappointmentabout the event, um, about
somebody's behavior, or abouthow the uh the business lever
(06:20):
didn't operate or or result inthe end?
Um, or is it more about theexpectation that we attach to
it?
And is that what we really needto reflect on and move forward
from?
Coach Wayne (06:36):
Yeah, you talk about that expectation.
Yeah, we we become storytellersand we tell ourselves the most
important story, right?
The one that we believe in, itshapes our belief system and uh
impacts the way that we perform.
And so sometimes, you know, wemay have a belief that because
(06:56):
we were supposed to put anaddition on our house uh by
December, but the folks who areputting together the bricks or
whatever, the door, they are ongo slow.
So it doesn't happen December.
It's gonna happen anyway.
We start saying that we didn'tcome through, we start feeling
(07:17):
depressed, we start feeling likewe lost, that we promised you
know, our our partner that wewould have this done, the extra
stuff that we said.
And and because we we have aflawed expectation and we're not
willing to see outside of thebox and give ourselves grace, we
wind up beating ourselves up.
(07:40):
And so we're saying it doesn'thave to be like that, Stacy.
Coach Stacy (07:44):
It doesn't.
This really is a great time forus to retrain our brain um to
reflect well, to reflect from aplace of possibility uh and not
from a place of failure orjudgment.
And so uh, you know, onequestion you can ask yourself is
(08:10):
what specific expectation didn'tget met?
What what was that expectation?
Um what did I expect to happen,right?
When when the uh when thataddition on the home uh was
supposed to be fit, what whatdid I expect?
Um, you know, what did I expectas I overperformed at work?
(08:33):
What what did I expect and andhow did that not get met?
Coach Wayne (08:38):
And to name the emotion that's underneath this
this feeling, thisdisappointment, um, is it shame?
Is it anger?
Is it sadness?
Is it fatigue?
Name that emotion because now ifyou you know, like a doctor, if
there's no, if you have asymptom but no diagnosis,
(08:59):
there's no real treatment.
So if you want to treat this,right, Stacy, we gotta do a
little doctoring on ourselveswith the emotion.
Coach Stacy (09:07):
Yeah, a little, yeah, absolutely, right?
We do believe in self-coachingas well.
Sometimes you have to justreally examine uh yourself in a
way that doesn't come withjudgment, but that comes with
the reality or the authenticityof really deeply naming
something, not just saying, oh,you know, I'm disappointed.
(09:31):
But what what does that reallymean?
You know, that I know do you useWayne in your coaching practice?
Do you ever use the emotionswheel?
Coach Wayne (09:41):
Yeah, I do.
Coach Stacy (09:42):
Yeah, right.
And it is that idea that we usethese surface words, so to
speak, right?
The words that are on the theoutside or the periphery of the
wheel, um, when those wordsreally do have deeper meanings.
And so I love that you talkedabout naming it.
(10:02):
Um, you know, is it sadness?
Is it shame?
I mean, that's shame.
Ooh, especially, I don't knowhow it is for for men, uh, but
for women, you know, shame cancan really manifest itself in
different ways.
And so it is important to name athing a thing, uh, so that we
(10:23):
can really begin to moveforward.
Coach Wayne (10:25):
Now, full transparency, as we talk about
that, I realized that a lot ofthe feelings that I had, and I
would call them, you know,frustration and other things.
When I started understanding thewheel, I realized that at the
bottom of that were someunsettled anger.
And that anger in therapy, Ifound out had to do with uh the
(10:47):
loss of my father, yeah, and andthe relationship I had with him.
Great guy, but there werecertain things that I didn't
quite connect with, and it keptme uh a little bit agitated,
which looked like other things,but it was anger.
And when I was able to deal withthat, boy, I was sailing much
better.
So let's let's do that.
(11:08):
Let's look at uh affirming, youknow, even in our
disappointment, have anaffirmation that says, hmm, even
with my disappointment, I'm notdisqualified.
You're still in the game.
Coach Stacy (11:20):
I I really like that.
Even with my disappointment, Iam not disqualified.
I think you're absolutely right.
It is countering what can causeus to reflect negatively, to
reflect poorly.
It's countering that um with theopportunity to reflect well or
(11:41):
positively um and really beginto dig deep into that reality
and confront it with the truth,right?
I I'm not discounted.
Yes, I was disappointed and ormaybe I was a little discouraged
for a moment, but that does nottake me out of the running.
(12:01):
We still got a lot of life tolive, we got a lot of impact to
make, Wayne.
Gotta keep moving.
Coach Wayne (12:07):
Yeah, and you know, we're talking about roots, the
root of disappointment.
Uh, it shows up.
How does it show up?
Sometimes it shows up in just uhus turning away from a thing,
not facing it.
So we may just just drop theball on it, uh, procrastinate,
take a while to get startedbecause we don't want the the
(12:29):
the real real the disappointmentthat we perceive, yeah.
And so we just don't get itdone, or it may be we isolate
ourselves to avoid thedisappointment.
And I know a lot of times forme, more and I'm being so
transparent today, um isolation.
(12:50):
So, you know, when you're anentrepreneur and you're working
primarily uh online, remotework, it's easy to get caught up
and blame the I'm busy, butsometimes when I I'm not sure if
I'm getting all the things inplace that I promised myself,
and so I'm beating myself up, Idon't show up.
(13:12):
I miss appointments just so thatI could get work done.
I'm overworking and I'misolating myself.
And so that's one of the thingsthat we got to be careful of,
find out what the loop is.
Coach Stacy (13:23):
Yeah, yeah, digging, digging deep is is
really important.
Um, I don't know, Wayne.
I I've not used thedisappointment loop, uh, but I
believe it to be a really uhimpactful way of thinking,
right?
The loop is really what is theunmet expectation?
(13:44):
And how does that begin to causemaybe an emotional dip?
Or to your point, maybe thatisolation or that
procrastination?
How does that emotional dip thencause self-doubt?
How often in discouragement ordisappointment do we find
(14:05):
ourselves in the spiral ofself-doubt?
How does that self-doubt thentake us into withdrawal, as you
were talking about, right?
That isolation.
And then how does thatwithdrawal from our life, our
possibilities, how does that putus into a position of
(14:27):
stagnation?
So that disappointment loop isunmet expectation, emotional dip
into self-doubt, intowithdrawal, into stagnation.
Um, really examining kind of howhow we move through sometimes
disappointment anddiscouragement, so that we can
(14:49):
then begin to find our ways outof uh that disappointment loop.
Coach Wayne (14:54):
Yeah, and it's funny because uh the loop is
really saying it's um it'salmost prophetic, right?
You you own the thing and startseeing yourself as the
disappointment.
So, hey, I'm no good at thisbecause I was disappointed, and
and therefore your performanceis is on the par.
(15:16):
So you actually manifest thedisappointment once again,
because now you're performingless than you can optimally
because you believe that to betrue, and this is part of the
loop.
Um, Stacy, when when we startgetting to this opportune age,
the golden age of midlife, andwe start aging, but more
(15:38):
importantly, saging, we it's soimportant that our self-concept
and self-esteem stays wholebecause we then start defining
the rest of our life based onthe past, oftentimes.
You know, we measure what hasoccurred, and if it's something
(15:59):
that we missed out on, we couldsay, Well, I'm not good at this,
and therefore we don't giveourselves a second shot at it,
if that makes sense.
Coach Stacy (16:07):
Oh, it makes complete sense.
Um because in that stagnation,as you were, you know, just
talking about, um we forget thatwe're still changing, we're
still evolving, and we just kindof stay there, the place you
(16:28):
just described.
Um in a couple of episodes ago,we talked about um the
self-concept, the midlife reviewum of the self-concept and um
applying our renew strategy toreally exploring your
self-concept.
(16:48):
And one opportunity when dealingwith discouragement and
disappointment is really askingyourself, you know, am I trying
to live yesterday's dream intoday's reality?
So it really gives you thatopportunity to to assess, right?
From from again, not a place ofjudgment, but from a place of
(17:11):
compassion and reality thatsays, okay, is that is that
really is that still today'sdream, or is is that yesterday's
dream or yesteryear's dream umthat I'm really trying to bring
forward, and maybe it's time forit to be put away.
Coach Wayne (17:31):
Yeah, yeah.
You're speaking to what we'regonna touch on next, which is
reframing and we live bynarratives.
Every one of us has a story.
And uh Tony Robbins talks aboutthis.
He says, What story are youtelling yourself?
You can tell yourself anempowering story or
(17:53):
disempowering story, but there'salways a story.
And some of us are better thanothers to convince other people
to fall in place with the storythat we give and tell for
ourselves.
But what if we were able toreframe the stories that we have
carried that no longer serve usso that they can leverage us and
(18:14):
launch us to a second half, as Ilike to put it?
What if we can reframe thenarrative so that it empowers
us?
Coach Stacy (18:24):
Yeah, I'd I'd love it.
I think I think the reframe iscritical so often.
The reframe should be a dailypractice.
Uh, so often our thoughts takeus down the road uh of either
negativity or self-judgment ordiscouragement.
Um but but how often can we takethose opportunities daily uh to
(18:48):
to do that reframing?
And um, you know, one of thethings I've used in my practice
is that disappointment debrief,right?
What happened?
What did I expect?
What did I learn?
Right?
What what did I learn, or whatcan I learn, and what do I
(19:11):
choose next?
It really is important to takeourselves through a process that
end result is what's next?
What's what's the what's the newpoint?
What's the new horizon, the newpossibility?
Coach Wayne (19:28):
Stacey, I love your disappointment in debrief
because the fourth stage of itis what do I choose next?
And so when we talk aboutchoice, what we're saying is you
have the agency.
Listening into us, we're notprescribing something that
somebody else outside has to dofor you.
We're saying that you're capableof doing for yourself because at
(19:49):
the end of the day, you havefull agency around the decisions
you make and therefore theresults and status that you
have.
So emotionally, this holidayseason.
If you're having a sad season ora season of disappointment, go
back and look at some of thesestages and see what you can do
(20:10):
because you have full agency tobecome and do.
Coach Stacy (20:15):
Yes.
Yes, we do have agency.
And part of that agency is thatself-accountability, right?
That reminder that, okay, thiswas the decision I made, or this
was the action I implemented.
And this was my expectation.
(20:36):
And here's how my expectationwasn't met.
And yet we want to continue tomove forward.
Here's what I've learned.
Here's what I can do next.
Um, you know, being rooted in infaith, you know, remind I'm
always, always going throughRomans 8, 28 in my mind, that
(21:03):
all things, not just the goodthings, uh, but even the bad
things, all things work togetherfor the good of them who love
the Lord.
And so it for me that helps as agrounding that even when it
(21:26):
things don't go the way Iplanned, even when the door has
closed, you know, to look forthe window, because all things
are working together for mygood, because I love the Lord.
Coach Wayne (21:41):
I like how you brought that around, Stacy.
You know, even when the doorclosed to look for the window,
sometimes the disappointmentthat you think you're dealing
with is actually a Godsend.
It's a way of protecting you,it's a way of preparing you.
Sometimes you think you'reready, but you truly aren't.
(22:03):
You ask somebody to marry you,and they said no, you may have
been saved some pain rightthere, my brother or my sister.
You know, the most high seesbefore you do and understands,
and so you may have been havinga moment, right?
A moment, an emotional or aphysical moment, and that no,
(22:27):
you better thank God for itbecause if you're seeing it as a
disappointment and you could seefarther, you may realize that
this was a no-go, bro.
So, yeah, Stace.
And so we have to sit back andthink about the disappointment
in another way because listen,it may be a closed door, but it
(22:48):
opened up a window.
You know, Stacey, I'll say thisreal fast.
In the past, when um Ojo and Iwould do some work with folks
around couples, uh, it wasinformal kind of work, but we'd
be chatting to folks on thephone, and they would say stuff
like, Um, you know, I'm I'mstill kind of seeing this person
(23:11):
because there is nobody outthere, and we would say, Stop
blocking your blessing.
Because what it meant was youdidn't close the door fully to
allow a window to open up forsomebody else to come through,
right?
So sometimes you're holding onto that thing that already you
(23:32):
know is disappointing, andbecause of that, you haven't had
the opportunities that God haslaid down and is waiting for you
to be fully delivered.
Makes sense, yes.
Coach Stacy (23:48):
Yes, the reality is that same principle uh happens
in our work life, it happens inour businesses where we hold on
to something because we areafraid to let it go.
Whatever that narrative is thatwe're telling ourselves, right?
(24:10):
We want the door to close.
We want the next opportunity,the next business growth, the
next employment opportunity, thenext promotion.
We want that.
Yet we haven't really preparedourselves for it.
(24:32):
We haven't really allowedwhatever that door is to close
so that the next opportunity canpresent itself, so that the
window can open.
And to your well-articulatedpoint about sometime that
rejection being protection, itcan also be that preparation,
(24:55):
right?
That that like how what can youdo right now where you are with
that discouragement, thatdisappointment, that learning to
then be prepared for that windowto open as you close the door or
allow the door to close.
Sometimes, you know, the doorgets forced, it gets slammed,
(25:19):
and it catches us off guard.
Uh, and if that's what hasbrought on the disappointment or
the discouragement, beencouraged because this is
really another opportunity foryou to then reset, prepare, and
relaunch.
Coach Wayne (25:37):
Yeah.
I was uh thank you for for thatconnection, Stace.
I was uh reflecting, uh, and andI realized that in my own life,
whenever I force things, forcethings, uh it never works out
right for me.
And I realized that when I movewith faith, the power that I
(26:03):
have doesn't require force.
When I'm moving with faith, umit sometimes requires a
challenge.
But I'm saying when when youknow God is behind you, there's
a power there that doesn'trequire force.
If that, you know, so so one ofthe things that um I would
(26:24):
suggest to folks is to releasewhat was and in terms of an
affirmation and open and be opento what can be.
I release what was and I'm opento what can be, right?
I'm letting go of what was andI'm open to what can be.
Yes, affirmation.
Coach Stacy (26:45):
Yes, that is a beautiful affirmation, and as we
talk about opportunities to takethat affirmation and begin to
really rebuild our resilience totake all that we've learned in
the disappointments, in thediscouragements, as we have
(27:05):
reframed, we've understood theroot, we've reframed the
narrative, and now it'sopportunity to rebuild or build
a new level of resilience.
Um, I'll refer again to thatepisode, uh, a couple of
episodes.
We'll put it in the show notes.
Um, but that opportunity to do amidlife self-review.
(27:30):
Are your goals aligned with whoyou are now?
Not who you used to be.
What are those realopportunities to couple those
learnings from all of those pastthings, discouragement,
successes, challenges,disappointments, to bring all of
(27:53):
that learning into what do Iknow now that I didn't know
then?
And how does that allow me tobegin to move forward?
Coach Wayne (28:05):
And then resilience is not just on you.
Don't think it's a burden,something that it's all about
you.
That's why you have people inyour corners and people you can
invite into your corners.
A coach, myself, um, mentors,you know, a good listening ear
from a friend or a colleague whois non-judgmental.
(28:28):
Uh, these are part of yourtoolbox in terms of the
resources that you have when itcomes to your resilience to
bounce back, to build, to moveforward.
And I would suggest to folksthat you look around and see
where you have some of those umsupports.
Coach Stacy (28:46):
Yeah, yeah, I I love that and just reflected on
something you said earlier aboutthe striving, right?
Um, kind of moving forward inour own will and determination
in ways that uh may notincorporate or bring to light
(29:10):
our faith and and what we'redoing in partnership or
relationship with God is soimportant to then moving into
this different level ofresilience.
So I was just I was listening toyou and really just reflecting
on that point about notstriving, but really moving
(29:37):
forward purposefully.
Um and in the value of therelationships that you just
talked about, whether it be acoach, a mentor, uh, a trusted
partner, um is really someonethat can then promote your
moving forward without striving,but doing so in alignment with
(30:03):
who you are now, who you arecalled to be, with what your
values are, with what yourvision is.
Um I just I was really all ofthat goodness is swirling around
in my head.
Coach Wayne (30:19):
And Stace, here's a call to men, my brothers, my
brothers.
Get out of the man box.
Disappointment doesn't meanfailure.
Disappointment doesn't mean it'sthe story, whole story of who
you are, your outcome.
All it is is a feedback to sayif the door is closed and you
(30:43):
can't go that away, go thataway.
You know what I mean?
Go through the window, gosomewhere else.
It's probably a gift to justtell you stop wasting time and
energy right here and gosomewhere else.
So I'm gonna invite my brothersand sisters, stop holding on to
all that stuff yourself.
(31:04):
You don't have to carry thatload, let it off and share it
because sometimes somebody'sholding another door open for
you, but only if you would ask.
Coach Stacy (31:14):
That is so good.
Uh, I not that women are in theman box for sure, um, but it is
that that we realizing um thatevery disappointment is is it's
not the end of the road.
Um for women, we often findourselves, in particular in
(31:40):
seasons of disappointment ordiscouragement, we find
ourselves functioning, doing,not really being, but doing, um,
in order to avoid the pain or tonot really deal with the pain of
(32:04):
the discouragement, thedisappointment.
So we just over function, wejust keep going, and it really
is an opportunity to inviterest.
And as we're talking aboutreflecting well, to do so, to
(32:24):
really reflect on as we'veoutlined in this episode, um,
you know, what what is the realfeeling, what is the root cause,
uh, and always an opportunity toshow ourselves grace to get out
of that pattern ofoverfunctioning and really step
(32:46):
into a pattern of acknowledgingthe pain, the source, the
disappointment, thediscouragement, of moving
through it, of learning from it,inviting grace and moving
forward.
Coach Wayne (33:01):
And Stacy, you know, let's be clear your goals
aren't etched in cement.
Your vision board, you canalways edit, you can always
erase, you can always redo, youcan always repurpose, remodel,
(33:21):
reframe.
So, what we're suggesting isthat during this season, uh our
uh seasoned folks, when you lookback, and there are things that
never happened on somebodyelse's timeline, usually, on
somebody else's uh expectationsthat you have made your own, you
(33:43):
can always change that.
You can always sit back andrenew the vision so it's in
keeping with your purpose, youridentity, and your own values.
Coach Stacy (33:57):
Absolutely.
I I agree with you on so manylevels, and just reminding that
the strategy is written inpencil.
Yes, ma'am.
In business, you know, thestrategy, you lay out a plan,
(34:17):
you figure out how you're gonnaget there, you know, that goal
is there, you know you want toreach that next financial mark
or reach that next professionalmark, um, or even personal
accomplishment.
But the how we're gonna getthere is what often changes.
(34:38):
It's impacted and influencedthrough uh life's, through
life's experiences, throughchanges, you know, as they say
in the streets, life be life in,right?
And sometimes life jumps inthere and it shifts your
strategy.
And that that open window thatwe're looking for is really our
(35:00):
ability to respond to that shiftin a way that says, okay, this
is the area that thatdisappointment, that discourage,
this is where and how it hasshifted my strategy in order to
move forward with this vision ina way that feels right and
(35:23):
energizing and invigoratingtoday.
Coach Wayne (35:26):
Yep.
Stace, we're at the bottom ofthe hour.
And sometimes, with all that weshared today, powerful I thought
it was today, Stacy.
And I'm so happy you were onthis platform with me,
energizing me so I could go windup.
But you know, because in theholiday season, sometimes we're
distracted with all that glitterand glamour and stuff.
(35:50):
But thank you for sharing theplatform with me, Stacey.
And and and and how can we havefolks benefit from the wisdom
and years of experience andstaging that you offer stage,
Stacey?
Coach Stacy (36:03):
Well, I will just remind that you know, sometimes
the vision doesn't die, itevolves.
And so allow it to evolve.
Uh, those that are watching onLinkedIn and Facebook and
YouTube and Instagram and allthose lovely social channels,
(36:23):
uh, you know how to reach Wayneand I.
Um, and yet it is such anopportunity for us to really
just share some tips, sometools, some knowledge, um, so
that you can really move forwardin this season.
I'm trying to think, Wayne, if Ihave any homework, workplay,
(36:48):
home play uh to assign to ourlisteners.
But what I will say is that, youknow, this is really a season to
thrive.
So whether it be utilizing thetools that Wayne and I have
positioned, in particular thatrenew opportunity, uh, that
renew framework in that midlifeself-review episode, uh, really
(37:12):
seize your opportunities tothrive, to grow, um, and to
identify how you want to moveforward um with power and
purpose.
Coach Wayne (37:25):
Yeah, and stay it's up on the screen, but they'll
also see it in the show notes uhor listeners, the easiest way to
get to us on any of theplatforms you're now listening
to, just get up in there and DMus and say that you want to have
a non-obligatory discovery callor just that get to know us
(37:47):
call.
Yeah, I also have this wonderfulself-assessment, it's a
powerhouse assessment thatspeaks the true true to folks
who um, and this is particularlyto the brothers, but I'll I'll
do one for sisters too.
I practice it on my wife.
It's real, real Stacey.
It's a self-assessment, and itreally gets folks to take a look
(38:11):
at where they are now, the gapsin terms of where they say they
want to be, and then if theywant to move farther, I can tell
them how we can work together tomake that happen.
Coach Stacy (38:22):
So I love it.
I've been hearing some goodthings about this
self-assessment, people.
So jump on it.
We'll make sure that that's alsoin the show notes.
Uh, it is our heart's desirethat you be encouraged uh as a
listener of the MidlifeRevolution Unleashed.
Wayne and I are here to serve.
(38:44):
Wayne, it is always a joy tooccupy this space with you,
these airways with you.
And I don't know, you'll tell mewhere I'm gonna see you, but
know that I'm cheering you on.
Coach Wayne (39:00):
And Stace, I'll see you at the top.
Coach Stacy (39:03):
Until thanks for tuning in to Midlife Revolution
Unleashed.
We're grateful you're part ofthis journey.
Coach Wayne (39:13):
If you love this episode, share it, subscribe,
and hit that notification bellso you don't miss another
episode.
Coach Stacy (39:20):
I'm Coach Stacy, and I'm cheering you on.
Coach Wayne (39:22):
And I'm Coach Wayne, and I'll see you at the
top.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Betrayal: Weekly
Betrayal Weekly is back for a brand new season. Every Thursday, Betrayal Weekly shares first-hand accounts of broken trust, shocking deceptions, and the trail of destruction they leave behind. Hosted by Andrea Gunning, this weekly ongoing series digs into real-life stories of betrayal and the aftermath. From stories of double lives to dark discoveries, these are cautionary tales and accounts of resilience against all odds. From the producers of the critically acclaimed Betrayal series, Betrayal Weekly drops new episodes every Thursday. Please join our Substack for additional exclusive content, curated book recommendations and community discussions. Sign up FREE by clicking this link Beyond Betrayal Substack. Join our community dedicated to truth, resilience and healing. Your voice matters! Be a part of our Betrayal journey on Substack. And make sure to check out Seasons 1-4 of Betrayal, along with Betrayal Weekly Season 1.