October 24, 2025 • 32 mins
The most dangerous stories about aging aren’t on the news; they’re the quiet lines we repeat to ourselves. We take those lines head-on and rewrite them with truth, practice, and a dash of holy confidence. Coach Stacy M. Lewis and Coach Wayne Dawson open up about the beliefs that keep people stuck—too old, too late, don’t risk it—and share the tools they use with clients to turn midlife into a launchpad for purpose and reinvention.
We start by naming the myths out loud and tracing where they came from: family scripts, cultural tropes, and borrowed narratives that never fit. Then we test new beliefs with evidence you can see and measure. From stories of late-blooming entrepreneurs to everyday reinventions, you’ll hear proof that age is qualification, not disqualification. We introduce two practical frameworks to make change stick. Wayne’s PAW gap tackles possibility, ability, and worth. Stacy’s MOVE method magnifies your worth, brings clarity to what you want, validates your dreams, and gets you engaging the life you actually love.
This isn’t mindset theater. We show how to rehearse a new script daily with present-tense affirmations, journaling, and micro-actions that turn confidence into data. You’ll learn the ecological test for beliefs—do they strengthen your relationships, work, and health?—and why accountability plus grace beats perfection every time. Expect clear homework: find a role model who defies your stereotype, rewrite two or three false beliefs into truth-based declarations, and practice them where you’ll see and hear them often.
If you’re ready to stop playing small and start building habits that match your wisdom, press play and join the revolution. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review telling us the new truth you’re claiming today. Your next chapter is not on hold—it’s calling.
Check out this episode: You're Still Becoming
Subscribe @CoachStacyMLewis and @CoachWayneVIP
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Coach Wayne (00:08):
The most dangerous stories about aging aren't told
by the media.
They're held and told byourselves in our own minds.
Coach Stacy (00:20):
And today, we're flipping that script on aging
because midlife isn't a slowdecline.
It's a divine design forreinvention.
Let's hit it, Wayne.
Coach Wayne (00:36):
You found the midlife revolution unleashed,
the space to embrace yourwisdom, reignite your passions,
and move boldly into what'snext.
I am Coach Wayne, the VIPcoach.
Coach Stacy (00:49):
And I'm Coach Stacy M.
Lewis.
We're here with insights,stories, and strategies to fuel
your midlife journey.
So take a breath, lean in.
Your revolution starts now.
Coach Wayne (01:05):
Hey, welcome again to Midlife Revolution On Leash.
And today, we're gonna guideyou in how to change the mental
script so that you stop playingsmall, insignificant, and get
out of a rut.
Coach Stacy (01:24):
Yes, indeed.
It is time to renew your mindand challenge some of those
unhelpful beliefs about aging.
Welcome to the MidlifeRevolution Unleashed.
I am Stacy M.
Lewis, your co-host, anonprofit executive, a lover of
God, and all of his people, anda midlife woman's coach.
(01:48):
And it is indeed always my joy,my pleasure, and my honor to be
here with my co-host, CoachWayne.
Coach Wayne (01:56):
And right and right alongside Madame Stacy M.
Lewis, Coach Extraordinaire, ismoi, Coach Wayne Dawson, the
VIP coach.
I work with men of color,helping them through midlife so
that their second half can betheir best half.
(02:16):
Stacey, today, today we aretalking about flipping the
script, the mental script, andmoving away from those limiting
beliefs about aging.
Coach Stacy (02:27):
That is indeed what we do.
Um, as coaches, as both people,right?
We've had to flip our ownscript.
Uh, and as coaches, we are hereto provide value tools and
equip our listeners along withour clients to indeed challenge
(02:48):
those beliefs and begin torewire the thinking and tell a
new story.
Let's jump in, Wayne.
Coach Wayne (02:57):
Yeah, Stace.
The myths are they abound asfar as aging, right?
Can't teach an old dog newtricks.
I'm not a dog, but I can learntricks any age, anytime, as a
one who is going through thechanges of midlife.
And so can you.
Coach Stacy (03:18):
And I think it is it really is the a lot of those
old sayings, right?
That as you age, you slow down.
You can if that's what youchoose to do, but it is not a
given, it's not a must.
It is really, if that's whatyou decide to do, then great.
(03:38):
But if you don't want to slowdown, you don't have to.
Coach Wayne (03:43):
Think about the tons of folks that you hear that
have found their gem, theirgold, their best lives after 60
and 70.
Coach Stacy (03:55):
Yeah.
So, and there's so many.
I I think I told you thisbefore, that I was reading an
article and it was talking abouthow Martha Stewart, who's well
in her 80s, is starting yetanother business, a cosmetic
line, right?
She is not letting age, andthat's just one example, not
(04:17):
letting age hold us back.
I think we've also seen Oprahreinvent herself in this season,
right?
That she said, you know, I didthe TV show, I enjoyed that, and
now it's time to do somethingdifferent.
And so um, it is not too late.
(04:38):
I think that's another belief,right, that we have to
challenge, that it's too late orI'm too old.
Coach Wayne (04:48):
Yeah, Colonel Sanders passed his 70s when he
discovered or found thatKentucky recipe that his mother
or grandmother had given to himand made big on it.
So it goes on and on, Stacy.
You just don't stop becauseyou've hit midlife.
You begin.
Coach Stacy (05:09):
Correct.
So what is the what is that onebelief for you, our listener?
What is that belief?
Um, is it the I'm too old?
Is it something that Waynementioned, something that I
mentioned, or is it somethingelse, some other false narrative
that has been going throughyour mind that is not helpful?
(05:31):
What is it?
Coach Wayne (05:33):
You know, Stacy, I've worked with men who because
they're ripe and they're aging,they're afraid to make a
mistake because they don't wantothers to look at them and say
they should know better.
And that uh is a very limitingbelief that holds people back.
You you gotta, it's okay,you're not perfect.
(05:55):
And and you can make mistakesbecause it doesn't mean failure.
You don't just stop and giveup, it's really feedback so that
you can avoid the minds as youmove forward with that
information.
Coach Stacy (06:08):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I there's so many ofthose beliefs that we have to
challenge.
And one thing I have remindeduh myself and many of my clients
is that you challenge thebelief, you will rewrite the
(06:33):
narrative, yet it doesn't meanthat the belief doesn't come
back.
So it's it's not it's not a oneand done.
And so these um stories that wetell ourselves, we not only
have to rewrite the story, butwe want to make sure that we are
calling them out, that we arecalling them what they are
(06:57):
often.
Are they true or are theyuntruths or lies um about aging?
Coach Wayne (07:08):
There's a wonderful affirmation that I think we
could share, and that is tostart saying, my age is not my
disqualification, but it is myqualification.
Coach Stacy (07:22):
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
That's good.
That's good.
Because that can really beginto shift the kind of the
foundation of the mindset,right?
So that if everything iscontingent on the age, that
we're really saying it's the agethat's not the limitation or
(07:45):
the disqualification.
It is the age, that saging, asyou always say, Wayne, that
makes you qualified.
Coach Wayne (07:54):
Yeah.
It's so important that we alsotrace the origin of the belief
we have, because if the belieffor many of us, our beliefs
started when we were young,pretty young, by the folks
around us.
And so we develop thesebeliefs, and oftentimes they
don't serve us anymore.
In fact, they never did, butyou don't challenge things when
(08:14):
you're a kid, and as you growolder, you sometimes are stuck
with these ancient beliefs thatno longer serve you.
So I would say go back andexplore where you have some of
these limiting beliefs, wheredid they start, and uh and just
reframe them, refresh them aswell.
Coach Stacy (08:34):
Yes, you're absolutely right.
And as I was listening to you,I was thinking about you know
the process that I'm oftentaking women through.
And so it is identifying thelimiting belief or the lie, um,
not only who taught you that,but also how does that show up
(09:00):
in your day-to-day life?
Often we're carrying these uhunhelpful limiting beliefs, and
we're not paying attention tohow they actually show up, how
we project them, um, how we'reexperiencing them on a daily
(09:21):
basis.
So I believe that it'simportant for us to identify
what the belief is, toacknowledge, to your point,
where it's come from, and toalso really understand or
observe how it's showing up inour lives.
Coach Wayne (09:42):
And we can test the evidence for ourselves.
If we formulate a new beliefand we get a different result,
especially if the result opposesthe limiting belief and its
result that we had, then it'sproof for the pudding in the
pudding, I think, uh, for us torecognize that we can adapt a
(10:05):
new belief system, one that ispowerful, that empowers us and
works for us.
Coach Stacy (10:13):
No, that's that's so that's so good, sir.
That's so good.
Um, and that many of ourbeliefs, you know, are observed,
but they're not earned.
They're not, um, so it's it'snot only that they're not true,
(10:34):
uh, like the I'm too old, right?
You didn't earn that.
Uh I'm, you know, it's toolate.
How many of us uh in thisseason of our lives are
continually telling ourselvesthat it's too late, or I'm too
behind, or I should have startedyears ago.
(10:57):
And it is those those uhobservations that we are
embodying, and we really have touh come back to your point
every time, every time.
Coach Wayne (11:14):
Yeah.
Stacey, no, I always like totalk about the framework of the
work I do, which is to explorewhy folks aren't where they are,
and that gap oftentimes thePaul syndrome pops up where
people don't think it's reallypossible.
They don't think they have theability, they don't think they
have the worth or they'reworthy.
And those are usually limitingbeliefs that are not necessarily
(11:37):
true at all.
Uh, someone else's narrative ofwho you are, and you
conceptualize that and own it,but it's like learn
helplessness, learnhopelessness, and learn
worthlessness.
The truth of the matter is theevidence oftentimes doesn't show
and confirm that's who youreally are.
So you gotta you gotta putaside all that stuff.
Coach Stacy (12:00):
Yeah, that's so that's so good.
And and one of the reasons thatyou and I are often uh so in
sync is because our coreframeworks are um great mirrors,
I'll say, of each other, right?
Um, for me, it is that thatmove that magnify your worth.
(12:22):
You talked about worth, it isthat obtaining clarity around
your limiting beliefs, it isvalidating your value and your
dreams and then engaging orexperiencing a life that you
love.
And that the synergy I lovebetween the paw and move uh
(12:47):
really is that testing of theevidence, right?
Based on knowing your worth andensuring that you are in a
position to continually obtainthe clarity that you need in
order to engage the life thatthat you are really wanting to
(13:09):
live.
Coach Wayne (13:10):
Yeah.
And there's a way that we canhelp you with determining if the
belief and the script thatyou're following and the results
that you're observing orreceiving is working for you.
And we call that an ecologicaltest.
What you need to do is just tosee how it's impacting, whether
(13:34):
positive or negative, the peopleand things around you, right?
Uh, if you're doing somethingabout because you're aging and
you think that this is the wayto do it, and it's not really
having a positive effect on thepeople around you, whether it's
your boss, your employees, uh,neighbors, wife, husband, then
(13:57):
you may want to pull back alittle bit and re-examine that
thing and uh and and apply a newbelief system to move forward
in a more positive way.
Coach Stacy (14:09):
Yeah, I you know, one of the things as you talk
about applying a new beliefsystem, um, you know, I I think
that this idea, you often usethe term saging, and this idea
of reminding ourselves that weare aging gracefully,
(14:35):
powerfully, and withintentionality is something that
we can say or remind ourselvesof regardless of the belief.
But I and I do think it'simportant to talk about um
rehearsing that new script,right?
(14:56):
To really looking at creatingthe supported beliefs and
rehearsing that new script.
Let's talk a little bit aboutthat, sir.
Coach Wayne (15:07):
Yeah, like anything else, if you want to create a
new order of business, you youreinforce it by rehearsal, by
practice.
You know, if you're they say10,000 hours of doing the same
thing makes you an expert,right?
But oftentimes you don't need10,000 hours, just that much
(15:29):
more for yourself than you weredoing before to change the
outcome.
So I think, Stacey, if if youwant to rehearse a new outcome
uh or have a new outcome, youcreate a script about the belief
system that gives that outcomeand you commit to repetition,
(15:52):
eventually it hones in uh, youknow, you can prune it, get rid
of it if it's not part of yourneurons, but you can also allow
it to grow if you keep adding itto your new affirmation.
Coach Stacy (16:10):
I I I love it.
And you um and I often talkabout, you talk about
affirmations, and um, you know,I find for me tying uh my faith,
and many of the women I coachum find that that tying in a
faith with the the new narrativeuh creates really a powerful
(16:36):
foundation for rehearsing thatnew script, for creating a new
script and for rehearsing a newscript.
And so really taking that truththat combats the lie and
changing it into or making it adeclaration uh that begins to
(16:58):
really counter immediately thatlie with what you know to be the
truth and standing on that in away that it does become like a
rehearsal, right?
That you go over it and overit.
And whether it means that youput it on your mirror or it's
(17:20):
the screensaver on your phone,that you are constantly
rehearsing that script.
It doesn't necessarily mean youhave to be standing in front of
the mirror, but it is themindset, what we're telling
ourselves over and over andover, and really reinforcing the
(17:41):
positivity um to really drillthat in and begin to live that
out.
Coach Wayne (17:47):
I love that, Stacy.
You're talking about creatingnew habits and uh a very
simplistic way that we createhabits from a psychological
point of view is beliefs impactour values, values impact our
thoughts and our talk, ourspeech, and those impact uh our
(18:12):
actions or activities donerepeatedly to your point, Stacy.
We have habits.
So change the belief, changethe way we think about it,
change the way we act about iton it, and change the way we do
things, which is the habits.
What happens at the end is youget a new reality or a new
(18:35):
outcome.
Coach Stacy (18:37):
So important that we continue uh in this process
of changing and developing thosenew habits to observe how those
new habits are impacting, toyour point, our behavior.
How are we living them out?
And just like we look at how wewere living out the lies or the
(19:01):
the unbeliefs, the the or thefalse beliefs, how are these uh
how's the new script, how are weliving that out?
Um, I think another way, Wayne,is to write things down.
We you talked well about habitsand developing habits and how
(19:22):
they're developed.
Oftentimes we commit tosomething, but it is that act of
writing it down that begins toreally make it um even more of a
bit of a self-accountability.
Right now, I wrote it down.
I wrote the unhelpful beliefand what the new script is.
(19:44):
And now, in order to rehearseit, I've written it down.
I need to look at it, and I'mthen even more so reminded in a
way that helps me hold myselfaccountable to this new belief.
Coach Wayne (19:59):
Yeah, and using the art of writing, Stacy, we we
advocate for journaling.
You can journal, and in sodoing, you have a reference, a
physical reference of where itis you want to go, what is your
new belief is, and and even howto get there.
So journal the ideas ofmanifesting a new belief.
Coach Stacy (20:25):
Absolutely.
Wayne, one of the joys that youand I both experience as
coaches is holding our clientsaccountable uh with care, uh,
with intentionality, yet it is alevel of accountability.
(20:47):
And so to take it even furtherin the with the journaling, uh,
whether you're using a writtenjournal or your voice notes or
the journal app, the reality isthat then talking with someone
about that helps you really holdyourself to a higher level of
(21:13):
accountability.
And that's what a coach does.
It's not only asking you theright questions and challenging
and helping you challenge someof those false narratives, but
also then working with you as apower partner to say, now that
we've identified the narrative,the false narrative, what is the
(21:37):
script?
What is the affirmation?
What is the declaration that wecan begin to put in place?
And now that we put that inplace, how can we be ensure that
you are on a more habituallevel embracing this new belief
(21:59):
and rehearsing this new script?
Coach Wayne (22:02):
Well said, Stacy.
And that is the purpose, Ithink, of the impact that a
coach has versus just doing itwith a friend.
Coach is trained and we see theblind spots.
And so oftentimes, Stacy, whenI'm working with clients, we get
to a place where we do anassessment and they recognize
the what, you know, what the gapis.
(22:23):
They want to be here, butthey're right there, and there's
a gap.
And so they see the what.
The trouble or the challenge ispeople know the watts, they
just don't have the hows.
And so when you have anaccountability partner,
especially say a coach whose jobit is and training to help you
fill that gap, they can hold youaccountable, right?
(22:44):
Into the how and following youand tracking you and having you
uh, as it were, respond to them,that sense of responsibility,
then then then hide behind therocks and get away because you
have nobody to be accountable towhen you keep it to yourself.
Coach Stacy (23:01):
Yeah, I I couldn't agree with you more.
And I would add to that thatthe coach will also bring that
layer of grace.
So often we forget that yes, weare going to backslide.
That's what they would say, youknow, in in the church world.
(23:23):
There are times that we uh wewe take a few steps forward and
we might take a step back.
And the in those moments, it isyour coach that is going to
remind you to show yourselfgrace, yes, accountability and
grace.
Accountability and grace.
(23:44):
That is the forward momentumbecause life be life's that's
what they say out there in thosestreets, life be life in.
And so we don't want to uhproject at all that once you
identify the new uh the newstory and you begin to embrace
it, that you might not take alittle step back or a step to
(24:07):
the left.
The reality is that this islife, yet your coach is going to
say, yes, okay, so at least nowwe're being accountable and
let's show ourselves some grace.
Let's move through this in away that allows us to identify
what we can change or tweak in away to really continue to
(24:31):
rehearse this new script.
So thank you, Stacy.
Coach Wayne (24:36):
So I want us to transition, if you don't mind,
into some takeaways from today'sshow.
And the first one I want tokick off is take a look at the
beliefs that you have in yourlife and start reframing beliefs
in a way that's positive withtruth and uh and repetition.
(24:59):
So not only list them with thetruth, the evidence, but also
start repeating them.
You can do this through voicingit and playing it over and over
or writing it and reading itover and over again.
Coach Stacy (25:13):
I love it.
I would add that negativebeliefs are like a borrowed
script, right?
It's like me borrowing a storyfrom someone that doesn't
necessarily know me and makingit my story.
(25:36):
Those negative beliefs areborrowed scripts, and Stacey in
our community, a lot of thestuff that we believe, the hype
is not ours, they're allborrowed.
Coach Wayne (25:52):
Right, Stacey, now where I'm going with that.
Coach Stacy (25:54):
Yeah, yeah.
Yes, I I I totally agree.
They are narratives that havebeen uh contrived, I'll say
often, right?
That have been woven in a waythat we would borrow them and
allow them to hold us back.
(26:16):
You're absolutely right.
Yeah, no more of that.
Coach Wayne (26:19):
No, and and we're also strongly urging and
suggesting that you balance yourbeliefs, right?
Balance your beliefs, and thatwill help you to renew your
sense of purpose, your why bybalancing those beliefs that you
have.
Coach Stacy (26:36):
Yeah, I would add that reminder of one of my
favorite midlife revolutionunleashed episodes of all times
is that you are still becoming.
Your growth does not stop justbecause you hit 50 or 60 or 70
(27:00):
or even 80.
You are still becoming as longas you are here alive and moving
forward.
There's still things to learn,there's still ways to grow, and
I'm sure that there are stillnegative beliefs, limiting
beliefs to combat and rewrite.
Coach Wayne (27:22):
Yep, yep.
And let's give some assigned uhtask, homework, as it were.
Number one, we're challengingyou over the next few days or
this weekend to identify onerole model that defies the
(27:43):
typical stereotype that may notbe real or true.
Find a role model that defiesthe negative stereotype or
belief that you have or folkshave, and and that becomes your
role model, somebody to observe.
Coach Stacy (27:59):
Love it.
Um I will add take a fewminutes to write or to use your
voice notes, your journal app,whatever it is that works for
you, to write two to three ofthose beliefs that you're
(28:22):
constantly hearing in your mindthat you know are not serving
you.
And as you write them out oneby one, begin to rewrite an
alternative based in truth thatyou can then tweak, massage the
(28:48):
language to become your powerstatement, your um alternative,
your truth statement, yourdeclaration, your affirmation.
So take those two to threebeliefs, rewrite them, and then
turn them into thoseaffirmations power statements.
Coach Wayne (29:11):
Love it.
And here's a tip for you foraffirmations: write them or
record them in the positive.
Don't say what you don't want,say it because you get more of
it.
Say what you do want.
And write them in the presenttense, in the here and now.
Coach Stacy (29:29):
Yeah.
I encourage our listener toshare one new truth about aging
with us.
Wayne and I would love to hearfrom you in the comments, in the
subscription section.
Uh, share that new truth.
Share it with someone in yourlife that you want to help you
(29:53):
be reminded of that truth.
Um, and let us know yourthoughts.
We want to.
Know your thoughts about theseideas, this episode, and how
you're using this information toshift, to renew your mind and
challenge those unhelpfulbeliefs about aging.
Coach Wayne (30:16):
Thanks.
And if this episode had a sparkfor you, please share it with
someone else and uh make surethat you subscribe, become a
regular viewer if you'rewatching or a listener, so that
you can catch the next episode.
Coach Stacy (30:35):
Love, love, love it.
My age is not a reason to slowdown.
It's a reminder that God isstill in business and he's not
done with me yet.
Coach Wayne (30:48):
Stace, how can the good folks find you to get some
of that Stacy coaching?
Coach Stacy (30:55):
If you are listening to Midlife Revolution
Unleashed on your favoritepodcast player, please know that
our contact information isalways in the show notes.
And we would always love tohear from you.
Uh otherwise online, I can bereached at the THE,
StacyMlewis.com.
(31:16):
I would love to hear from you.
And of course, if you're on thesocials, you know how to reach
me.
Coach Wayne (31:24):
Same for me, Stacy.
They can hit me up, and theeasiest way to find me is to
just go straight to my website,viptransformative living.com.
You'll see all my social mediahandles there.
Find one that suits you and DMme.
I'll be connecting with ya.
(31:45):
And Stacy, don't forget thatwith folks, when they touch
base, I always have a free,powerful self-assessment that
can help them kind of determinewhere they stand in their lives.
Coach Stacy (31:59):
Yes, please connect with Wayne for that
self-assessment.
We will make sure that it isindeed in the show notes.
And we appreciate you being ourfavorite listener of Midlife
Revolution Unleashed.
I am Coach Stacy.
I will see you where I'mcheering you on.
(32:23):
Yeah, I will see them at thetop while you cheer them on
Stacy.
Thanks for tuning in to MidlifeRevolution Unleashed.
We're grateful you're part ofthis journey.
Coach Wayne (32:38):
If you love this episode, share it, subscribe,
and hit that notification bellso you don't miss another
episode.
Coach Stacy (32:45):
I'm Coach Stacy, and I'm cheering you on.
Coach Wayne (32:47):
And I'm Coach Wayne, and I'll see you at the
top.
The most dangerous stories about aging aren't told
by the media.
They're held and told byourselves in our own minds.
Coach Stacy (00:20):
And today, we're flipping that script on aging
because midlife isn't a slowdecline.
It's a divine design forreinvention.
Let's hit it, Wayne.
Coach Wayne (00:36):
You found the midlife revolution unleashed,
the space to embrace yourwisdom, reignite your passions,
and move boldly into what'snext.
I am Coach Wayne, the VIPcoach.
Coach Stacy (00:49):
And I'm Coach Stacy M.
Lewis.
We're here with insights,stories, and strategies to fuel
your midlife journey.
So take a breath, lean in.
Your revolution starts now.
Coach Wayne (01:05):
Hey, welcome again to Midlife Revolution On Leash.
And today, we're gonna guideyou in how to change the mental
script so that you stop playingsmall, insignificant, and get
out of a rut.
Coach Stacy (01:24):
Yes, indeed.
It is time to renew your mindand challenge some of those
unhelpful beliefs about aging.
Welcome to the MidlifeRevolution Unleashed.
I am Stacy M.
Lewis, your co-host, anonprofit executive, a lover of
God, and all of his people, anda midlife woman's coach.
(01:48):
And it is indeed always my joy,my pleasure, and my honor to be
here with my co-host, CoachWayne.
Coach Wayne (01:56):
And right and right alongside Madame Stacy M.
Lewis, Coach Extraordinaire, ismoi, Coach Wayne Dawson, the
VIP coach.
I work with men of color,helping them through midlife so
that their second half can betheir best half.
(02:16):
Stacey, today, today we aretalking about flipping the
script, the mental script, andmoving away from those limiting
beliefs about aging.
Coach Stacy (02:27):
That is indeed what we do.
Um, as coaches, as both people,right?
We've had to flip our ownscript.
Uh, and as coaches, we are hereto provide value tools and
equip our listeners along withour clients to indeed challenge
(02:48):
those beliefs and begin torewire the thinking and tell a
new story.
Let's jump in, Wayne.
Coach Wayne (02:57):
Yeah, Stace.
The myths are they abound asfar as aging, right?
Can't teach an old dog newtricks.
I'm not a dog, but I can learntricks any age, anytime, as a
one who is going through thechanges of midlife.
And so can you.
Coach Stacy (03:18):
And I think it is it really is the a lot of those
old sayings, right?
That as you age, you slow down.
You can if that's what youchoose to do, but it is not a
given, it's not a must.
It is really, if that's whatyou decide to do, then great.
(03:38):
But if you don't want to slowdown, you don't have to.
Coach Wayne (03:43):
Think about the tons of folks that you hear that
have found their gem, theirgold, their best lives after 60
and 70.
Coach Stacy (03:55):
Yeah.
So, and there's so many.
I I think I told you thisbefore, that I was reading an
article and it was talking abouthow Martha Stewart, who's well
in her 80s, is starting yetanother business, a cosmetic
line, right?
She is not letting age, andthat's just one example, not
(04:17):
letting age hold us back.
I think we've also seen Oprahreinvent herself in this season,
right?
That she said, you know, I didthe TV show, I enjoyed that, and
now it's time to do somethingdifferent.
And so um, it is not too late.
(04:38):
I think that's another belief,right, that we have to
challenge, that it's too late orI'm too old.
Coach Wayne (04:48):
Yeah, Colonel Sanders passed his 70s when he
discovered or found thatKentucky recipe that his mother
or grandmother had given to himand made big on it.
So it goes on and on, Stacy.
You just don't stop becauseyou've hit midlife.
You begin.
Coach Stacy (05:09):
Correct.
So what is the what is that onebelief for you, our listener?
What is that belief?
Um, is it the I'm too old?
Is it something that Waynementioned, something that I
mentioned, or is it somethingelse, some other false narrative
that has been going throughyour mind that is not helpful?
(05:31):
What is it?
Coach Wayne (05:33):
You know, Stacy, I've worked with men who because
they're ripe and they're aging,they're afraid to make a
mistake because they don't wantothers to look at them and say
they should know better.
And that uh is a very limitingbelief that holds people back.
You you gotta, it's okay,you're not perfect.
(05:55):
And and you can make mistakesbecause it doesn't mean failure.
You don't just stop and giveup, it's really feedback so that
you can avoid the minds as youmove forward with that
information.
Coach Stacy (06:08):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I there's so many ofthose beliefs that we have to
challenge.
And one thing I have remindeduh myself and many of my clients
is that you challenge thebelief, you will rewrite the
(06:33):
narrative, yet it doesn't meanthat the belief doesn't come
back.
So it's it's not it's not a oneand done.
And so these um stories that wetell ourselves, we not only
have to rewrite the story, butwe want to make sure that we are
calling them out, that we arecalling them what they are
(06:57):
often.
Are they true or are theyuntruths or lies um about aging?
Coach Wayne (07:08):
There's a wonderful affirmation that I think we
could share, and that is tostart saying, my age is not my
disqualification, but it is myqualification.
Coach Stacy (07:22):
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
That's good.
That's good.
Because that can really beginto shift the kind of the
foundation of the mindset,right?
So that if everything iscontingent on the age, that
we're really saying it's the agethat's not the limitation or
(07:45):
the disqualification.
It is the age, that saging, asyou always say, Wayne, that
makes you qualified.
Coach Wayne (07:54):
Yeah.
It's so important that we alsotrace the origin of the belief
we have, because if the belieffor many of us, our beliefs
started when we were young,pretty young, by the folks
around us.
And so we develop thesebeliefs, and oftentimes they
don't serve us anymore.
In fact, they never did, butyou don't challenge things when
(08:14):
you're a kid, and as you growolder, you sometimes are stuck
with these ancient beliefs thatno longer serve you.
So I would say go back andexplore where you have some of
these limiting beliefs, wheredid they start, and uh and just
reframe them, refresh them aswell.
Coach Stacy (08:34):
Yes, you're absolutely right.
And as I was listening to you,I was thinking about you know
the process that I'm oftentaking women through.
And so it is identifying thelimiting belief or the lie, um,
not only who taught you that,but also how does that show up
(09:00):
in your day-to-day life?
Often we're carrying these uhunhelpful limiting beliefs, and
we're not paying attention tohow they actually show up, how
we project them, um, how we'reexperiencing them on a daily
(09:21):
basis.
So I believe that it'simportant for us to identify
what the belief is, toacknowledge, to your point,
where it's come from, and toalso really understand or
observe how it's showing up inour lives.
Coach Wayne (09:42):
And we can test the evidence for ourselves.
If we formulate a new beliefand we get a different result,
especially if the result opposesthe limiting belief and its
result that we had, then it'sproof for the pudding in the
pudding, I think, uh, for us torecognize that we can adapt a
(10:05):
new belief system, one that ispowerful, that empowers us and
works for us.
Coach Stacy (10:13):
No, that's that's so that's so good, sir.
That's so good.
Um, and that many of ourbeliefs, you know, are observed,
but they're not earned.
They're not, um, so it's it'snot only that they're not true,
(10:34):
uh, like the I'm too old, right?
You didn't earn that.
Uh I'm, you know, it's toolate.
How many of us uh in thisseason of our lives are
continually telling ourselvesthat it's too late, or I'm too
behind, or I should have startedyears ago.
(10:57):
And it is those those uhobservations that we are
embodying, and we really have touh come back to your point
every time, every time.
Coach Wayne (11:14):
Yeah.
Stacey, no, I always like totalk about the framework of the
work I do, which is to explorewhy folks aren't where they are,
and that gap oftentimes thePaul syndrome pops up where
people don't think it's reallypossible.
They don't think they have theability, they don't think they
have the worth or they'reworthy.
And those are usually limitingbeliefs that are not necessarily
(11:37):
true at all.
Uh, someone else's narrative ofwho you are, and you
conceptualize that and own it,but it's like learn
helplessness, learnhopelessness, and learn
worthlessness.
The truth of the matter is theevidence oftentimes doesn't show
and confirm that's who youreally are.
So you gotta you gotta putaside all that stuff.
Coach Stacy (12:00):
Yeah, that's so that's so good.
And and one of the reasons thatyou and I are often uh so in
sync is because our coreframeworks are um great mirrors,
I'll say, of each other, right?
Um, for me, it is that thatmove that magnify your worth.
(12:22):
You talked about worth, it isthat obtaining clarity around
your limiting beliefs, it isvalidating your value and your
dreams and then engaging orexperiencing a life that you
love.
And that the synergy I lovebetween the paw and move uh
(12:47):
really is that testing of theevidence, right?
Based on knowing your worth andensuring that you are in a
position to continually obtainthe clarity that you need in
order to engage the life thatthat you are really wanting to
(13:09):
live.
Coach Wayne (13:10):
Yeah.
And there's a way that we canhelp you with determining if the
belief and the script thatyou're following and the results
that you're observing orreceiving is working for you.
And we call that an ecologicaltest.
What you need to do is just tosee how it's impacting, whether
(13:34):
positive or negative, the peopleand things around you, right?
Uh, if you're doing somethingabout because you're aging and
you think that this is the wayto do it, and it's not really
having a positive effect on thepeople around you, whether it's
your boss, your employees, uh,neighbors, wife, husband, then
(13:57):
you may want to pull back alittle bit and re-examine that
thing and uh and and apply a newbelief system to move forward
in a more positive way.
Coach Stacy (14:09):
Yeah, I you know, one of the things as you talk
about applying a new beliefsystem, um, you know, I I think
that this idea, you often usethe term saging, and this idea
of reminding ourselves that weare aging gracefully,
(14:35):
powerfully, and withintentionality is something that
we can say or remind ourselvesof regardless of the belief.
But I and I do think it'simportant to talk about um
rehearsing that new script,right?
(14:56):
To really looking at creatingthe supported beliefs and
rehearsing that new script.
Let's talk a little bit aboutthat, sir.
Coach Wayne (15:07):
Yeah, like anything else, if you want to create a
new order of business, you youreinforce it by rehearsal, by
practice.
You know, if you're they say10,000 hours of doing the same
thing makes you an expert,right?
But oftentimes you don't need10,000 hours, just that much
(15:29):
more for yourself than you weredoing before to change the
outcome.
So I think, Stacey, if if youwant to rehearse a new outcome
uh or have a new outcome, youcreate a script about the belief
system that gives that outcomeand you commit to repetition,
(15:52):
eventually it hones in uh, youknow, you can prune it, get rid
of it if it's not part of yourneurons, but you can also allow
it to grow if you keep adding itto your new affirmation.
Coach Stacy (16:10):
I I I love it.
And you um and I often talkabout, you talk about
affirmations, and um, you know,I find for me tying uh my faith,
and many of the women I coachum find that that tying in a
faith with the the new narrativeuh creates really a powerful
(16:36):
foundation for rehearsing thatnew script, for creating a new
script and for rehearsing a newscript.
And so really taking that truththat combats the lie and
changing it into or making it adeclaration uh that begins to
(16:58):
really counter immediately thatlie with what you know to be the
truth and standing on that in away that it does become like a
rehearsal, right?
That you go over it and overit.
And whether it means that youput it on your mirror or it's
(17:20):
the screensaver on your phone,that you are constantly
rehearsing that script.
It doesn't necessarily mean youhave to be standing in front of
the mirror, but it is themindset, what we're telling
ourselves over and over andover, and really reinforcing the
(17:41):
positivity um to really drillthat in and begin to live that
out.
Coach Wayne (17:47):
I love that, Stacy.
You're talking about creatingnew habits and uh a very
simplistic way that we createhabits from a psychological
point of view is beliefs impactour values, values impact our
thoughts and our talk, ourspeech, and those impact uh our
(18:12):
actions or activities donerepeatedly to your point, Stacy.
We have habits.
So change the belief, changethe way we think about it,
change the way we act about iton it, and change the way we do
things, which is the habits.
What happens at the end is youget a new reality or a new
(18:35):
outcome.
Coach Stacy (18:37):
So important that we continue uh in this process
of changing and developing thosenew habits to observe how those
new habits are impacting, toyour point, our behavior.
How are we living them out?
And just like we look at how wewere living out the lies or the
(19:01):
the unbeliefs, the the or thefalse beliefs, how are these uh
how's the new script, how are weliving that out?
Um, I think another way, Wayne,is to write things down.
We you talked well about habitsand developing habits and how
(19:22):
they're developed.
Oftentimes we commit tosomething, but it is that act of
writing it down that begins toreally make it um even more of a
bit of a self-accountability.
Right now, I wrote it down.
I wrote the unhelpful beliefand what the new script is.
(19:44):
And now, in order to rehearseit, I've written it down.
I need to look at it, and I'mthen even more so reminded in a
way that helps me hold myselfaccountable to this new belief.
Coach Wayne (19:59):
Yeah, and using the art of writing, Stacy, we we
advocate for journaling.
You can journal, and in sodoing, you have a reference, a
physical reference of where itis you want to go, what is your
new belief is, and and even howto get there.
So journal the ideas ofmanifesting a new belief.
Coach Stacy (20:25):
Absolutely.
Wayne, one of the joys that youand I both experience as
coaches is holding our clientsaccountable uh with care, uh,
with intentionality, yet it is alevel of accountability.
(20:47):
And so to take it even furtherin the with the journaling, uh,
whether you're using a writtenjournal or your voice notes or
the journal app, the reality isthat then talking with someone
about that helps you really holdyourself to a higher level of
(21:13):
accountability.
And that's what a coach does.
It's not only asking you theright questions and challenging
and helping you challenge someof those false narratives, but
also then working with you as apower partner to say, now that
we've identified the narrative,the false narrative, what is the
(21:37):
script?
What is the affirmation?
What is the declaration that wecan begin to put in place?
And now that we put that inplace, how can we be ensure that
you are on a more habituallevel embracing this new belief
(21:59):
and rehearsing this new script?
Coach Wayne (22:02):
Well said, Stacy.
And that is the purpose, Ithink, of the impact that a
coach has versus just doing itwith a friend.
Coach is trained and we see theblind spots.
And so oftentimes, Stacy, whenI'm working with clients, we get
to a place where we do anassessment and they recognize
the what, you know, what the gapis.
(22:23):
They want to be here, butthey're right there, and there's
a gap.
And so they see the what.
The trouble or the challenge ispeople know the watts, they
just don't have the hows.
And so when you have anaccountability partner,
especially say a coach whose jobit is and training to help you
fill that gap, they can hold youaccountable, right?
(22:44):
Into the how and following youand tracking you and having you
uh, as it were, respond to them,that sense of responsibility,
then then then hide behind therocks and get away because you
have nobody to be accountable towhen you keep it to yourself.
Coach Stacy (23:01):
Yeah, I I couldn't agree with you more.
And I would add to that thatthe coach will also bring that
layer of grace.
So often we forget that yes, weare going to backslide.
That's what they would say, youknow, in in the church world.
(23:23):
There are times that we uh wewe take a few steps forward and
we might take a step back.
And the in those moments, it isyour coach that is going to
remind you to show yourselfgrace, yes, accountability and
grace.
Accountability and grace.
(23:44):
That is the forward momentumbecause life be life's that's
what they say out there in thosestreets, life be life in.
And so we don't want to uhproject at all that once you
identify the new uh the newstory and you begin to embrace
it, that you might not take alittle step back or a step to
(24:07):
the left.
The reality is that this islife, yet your coach is going to
say, yes, okay, so at least nowwe're being accountable and
let's show ourselves some grace.
Let's move through this in away that allows us to identify
what we can change or tweak in away to really continue to
(24:31):
rehearse this new script.
So thank you, Stacy.
Coach Wayne (24:36):
So I want us to transition, if you don't mind,
into some takeaways from today'sshow.
And the first one I want tokick off is take a look at the
beliefs that you have in yourlife and start reframing beliefs
in a way that's positive withtruth and uh and repetition.
(24:59):
So not only list them with thetruth, the evidence, but also
start repeating them.
You can do this through voicingit and playing it over and over
or writing it and reading itover and over again.
Coach Stacy (25:13):
I love it.
I would add that negativebeliefs are like a borrowed
script, right?
It's like me borrowing a storyfrom someone that doesn't
necessarily know me and makingit my story.
(25:36):
Those negative beliefs areborrowed scripts, and Stacey in
our community, a lot of thestuff that we believe, the hype
is not ours, they're allborrowed.
Coach Wayne (25:52):
Right, Stacey, now where I'm going with that.
Coach Stacy (25:54):
Yeah, yeah.
Yes, I I I totally agree.
They are narratives that havebeen uh contrived, I'll say
often, right?
That have been woven in a waythat we would borrow them and
allow them to hold us back.
(26:16):
You're absolutely right.
Yeah, no more of that.
Coach Wayne (26:19):
No, and and we're also strongly urging and
suggesting that you balance yourbeliefs, right?
Balance your beliefs, and thatwill help you to renew your
sense of purpose, your why bybalancing those beliefs that you
have.
Coach Stacy (26:36):
Yeah, I would add that reminder of one of my
favorite midlife revolutionunleashed episodes of all times
is that you are still becoming.
Your growth does not stop justbecause you hit 50 or 60 or 70
(27:00):
or even 80.
You are still becoming as longas you are here alive and moving
forward.
There's still things to learn,there's still ways to grow, and
I'm sure that there are stillnegative beliefs, limiting
beliefs to combat and rewrite.
Coach Wayne (27:22):
Yep, yep.
And let's give some assigned uhtask, homework, as it were.
Number one, we're challengingyou over the next few days or
this weekend to identify onerole model that defies the
(27:43):
typical stereotype that may notbe real or true.
Find a role model that defiesthe negative stereotype or
belief that you have or folkshave, and and that becomes your
role model, somebody to observe.
Coach Stacy (27:59):
Love it.
Um I will add take a fewminutes to write or to use your
voice notes, your journal app,whatever it is that works for
you, to write two to three ofthose beliefs that you're
(28:22):
constantly hearing in your mindthat you know are not serving
you.
And as you write them out oneby one, begin to rewrite an
alternative based in truth thatyou can then tweak, massage the
(28:48):
language to become your powerstatement, your um alternative,
your truth statement, yourdeclaration, your affirmation.
So take those two to threebeliefs, rewrite them, and then
turn them into thoseaffirmations power statements.
Coach Wayne (29:11):
Love it.
And here's a tip for you foraffirmations: write them or
record them in the positive.
Don't say what you don't want,say it because you get more of
it.
Say what you do want.
And write them in the presenttense, in the here and now.
Coach Stacy (29:29):
Yeah.
I encourage our listener toshare one new truth about aging
with us.
Wayne and I would love to hearfrom you in the comments, in the
subscription section.
Uh, share that new truth.
Share it with someone in yourlife that you want to help you
(29:53):
be reminded of that truth.
Um, and let us know yourthoughts.
We want to.
Know your thoughts about theseideas, this episode, and how
you're using this information toshift, to renew your mind and
challenge those unhelpfulbeliefs about aging.
Coach Wayne (30:16):
Thanks.
And if this episode had a sparkfor you, please share it with
someone else and uh make surethat you subscribe, become a
regular viewer if you'rewatching or a listener, so that
you can catch the next episode.
Coach Stacy (30:35):
Love, love, love it.
My age is not a reason to slowdown.
It's a reminder that God isstill in business and he's not
done with me yet.
Coach Wayne (30:48):
Stace, how can the good folks find you to get some
of that Stacy coaching?
Coach Stacy (30:55):
If you are listening to Midlife Revolution
Unleashed on your favoritepodcast player, please know that
our contact information isalways in the show notes.
And we would always love tohear from you.
Uh otherwise online, I can bereached at the THE,
StacyMlewis.com.
(31:16):
I would love to hear from you.
And of course, if you're on thesocials, you know how to reach
me.
Coach Wayne (31:24):
Same for me, Stacy.
They can hit me up, and theeasiest way to find me is to
just go straight to my website,viptransformative living.com.
You'll see all my social mediahandles there.
Find one that suits you and DMme.
I'll be connecting with ya.
(31:45):
And Stacy, don't forget thatwith folks, when they touch
base, I always have a free,powerful self-assessment that
can help them kind of determinewhere they stand in their lives.
Coach Stacy (31:59):
Yes, please connect with Wayne for that
self-assessment.
We will make sure that it isindeed in the show notes.
And we appreciate you being ourfavorite listener of Midlife
Revolution Unleashed.
I am Coach Stacy.
I will see you where I'mcheering you on.
(32:23):
Yeah, I will see them at thetop while you cheer them on
Stacy.
Thanks for tuning in to MidlifeRevolution Unleashed.
We're grateful you're part ofthis journey.
Coach Wayne (32:38):
If you love this episode, share it, subscribe,
and hit that notification bellso you don't miss another
episode.
Coach Stacy (32:45):
I'm Coach Stacy, and I'm cheering you on.
Coach Wayne (32:47):
And I'm Coach Wayne, and I'll see you at the
top.
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