September 26, 2025 • 32 mins
Coach Stacy's Word SHIFT Worksheet
Coach Wayne's Purpose Self-Assessment
Words shape reality. That simple yet profound truth is the foundation of this transformative conversation about the hidden power of language in midlife. From the moment we wake up, the dialogue in our heads creates the foundation for how we experience our day—and ultimately, our lives.
As coaches committed to midlife transformation, we've witnessed firsthand how shifting from limiting to empowering language can unlock whole new dimensions of possibility. Think about it: when you say "This is harder than I thought" versus "I can do hard things," you're not just describing your experience differently—you're actually creating a new experience. The first phrase reinforces limitation while the second opens the door to growth.
The science backs this up. Research shows that our brains physically respond to the words we use, creating neural pathways that either support or undermine our goals. When we consistently speak words of possibility and capability, our brains begin to operate in alignment with those beliefs. It's not "fake it till you make it"—it's about programming your mind for the future you want to create.
Beyond our internal dialogue, we explore how the language around us—in music, media, and conversations—impacts our energy and outlook. Whether you realize it or not, the words you consume are either fueling your midlife revolution or keeping you stuck. We offer practical strategies for becoming more intentional about these influences, including simple language shifts that create profound changes: "I'm stuck" becomes "I'm in transition," "I'm not enough" transforms to "I am beloved and worthy."
Ready to harness the transformative power of words in your own life? Download Stacy's free Word Shift Worksheet from the show notes, try Wayne's self-assessment tool, and begin consciously creating the midlife reality you truly desire. Your revolution starts with the very next words you speak to yourself.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Coach Stacy (00:09):
Think about the last words you spoke to yourself
this morning.
Were they words ofencouragement or quiet sabotage?
Here's the truth.
Words don't just describe yourreality, they can create it.
And in midlife, the words wechoose can either reinforce
stuckness or unlock a whole newchapter.
(00:29):
Let's talk about it.
Coach Wayne (00:33):
You found the midlife revolution unleashed the
space to embrace your wisdom,reignite your passions, and move
boldly into what's next.
I am Coach Wayne, the VIPcoach.
Coach Stacy (00:46):
And I'm Coach Stacy M.
Lewis.
We're here with insights,stories, and strategies to fuel
your midlife journey.
So take a breath, lean in.
Your revolution starts now.
Coach Wayne (01:04):
Hello, Miss Stacy.
Coach Stacy (01:09):
Good evening, ma'am.
Wayne, good day.
Coach Wayne (01:13):
I am Coach Wayne, your VIP coach.
I work with black men helpingthem to cross the threshold of
midlife so that their secondhalf can be their best half.
And I am with the wonderfulcoach Stacy M.
Lewis.
Coach Stacy (01:30):
Hi, Stacey.
We're gonna get some soundeffects, Wayne, one day.
Welcome back to the MidlifeRevolution Unleashed.
It is exciting to be here.
I am Coach Stacy, and today weare driving into the hidden
power of words.
How the language that you useevery day, whether talking it
(01:51):
out loud or thinking it in yourhead, can influence your
emotions and ultimately directthe course of your life.
Wayne and I talk about wordsall the time.
So this is gonna be a greatepisode.
Coach Wayne (02:07):
You know, Stacy, back in the day when I was in
school, if I came home and Itold my mother that somebody
called me names and jeered me,she would say, Words, sticks and
stones may break your bones,but words can't hurt you, right?
And mommy, rest in peace.
(02:29):
Words do have impact.
Words can build and words candestroy, words can hurt you.
Coach Stacy (02:39):
They really can.
And and clearly, uh, while I wedon't believe our mothers knew
each other, they certainly saidsome of the same things.
And one thing my mother did sayas well is that whole sticks
and stones.
Um, but it sounds like uh wewant to say good evening to
Delane.
I imagine that she uh can agreewith us.
(03:01):
Welcome, Delane.
It's always good to have youhere at Midlife Revolution
Unleashed.
My mother was very much uh awoman of strength, and she my
childhood and myself as a as aperson, we just are very
(03:22):
different personalities.
And so, yes, the idea that whatsomeone said would hurt you was
not necessarily an idea thatshe really embraced, but it's so
true that words can hurt.
I know that their their desirewas to really strengthen us
internally, and yet the realityis that words can hurt, words
(03:47):
are powerful, and so we want toreally talk about um how we can
use words in ways that uplift usuh and not tear us apart.
Coach Wayne (03:59):
That's so true, Stacy.
I know that oftentimes we saythings to folk, and there's an
old saying that uh once yourelease the word, you can't take
it back.
And so it is so important that,and tonight we're not just
(04:19):
talking about the words that werender from our mouths to other
people, but the words that weare thinking, because we think
in terms of words, right?
So, what we're thinking interms of how we talk to
ourselves, that's very importantwhen we talk about hurting
ourselves, we talk aboutbuilding ourselves, we talk
(04:41):
about tearing down ourselves.
So if you're listening intoday, we will definitely
challenge you to look at how youcome across using your words
and how you might be intentionalin choosing more impactful
words to deliver the message andthe feelings that you want to
(05:06):
land.
Absolutely.
Coach Stacy (05:09):
There is so much to say about words, um, you know,
and we're reminded that we needto be very intentional about
what it is we speak and what itis we're saying to ourselves.
And I think a very easy shift,um, one that was very recent for
(05:30):
me, uh, was acknowledging thatsomething is hard, right?
And I kept saying in my head,oh gosh, this is harder than I
thought it would be.
This is harder than I thoughtit would be.
And at a point, um, you know, Iwas reminded of my own agency
and authority to say, I can dohard things, right?
(05:53):
So it's like, yes, it is harderthan I thought it would be, and
I can do hard things.
And for me, that was a littlebit of self-motivation, right?
Changing the words that I wasusing.
And I think that we can all askourselves, you know, as
coaches, Wayne, you and I arealways looking at questions that
(06:13):
we can share with our listenerto really uh challenge
themselves in these areas.
And one is what phrases are yourepeating that reinforce a
limitation?
Right.
And so that was my example of,you know, this is harder than I
thought, right?
It's reinforcing the limitationof something being difficult
(06:36):
and changing that into I can dohard things, um, is just one
opportunity or one way to shiftlanguage.
What do you think about that,Wayne?
Coach Wayne (06:49):
You know, that's very powerful.
The way that you phrase that.
If you say uh in the way of thewords you use, if you said I
can do hard things or I'm up forthe challenge, knowing that
something is difficult, it's amuch more powerful way of adding
(07:09):
possibilities to something bygiving it, I am up for the
challenge versus saying this istoo difficult.
You're expressing just aboutthe same thing, but saying I'm
up for the challenge gives you asense of possibility.
And here's the other part aboutwords, Stacey.
(07:30):
When you say something, youthen need to believe in it, sort
of to give gas to the pedal.
So if you say the word, youalso want to believe in it so
that you can then follow throughwith congruent action and
behavior.
Coach Stacy (07:50):
I agree.
This may come up again, yet ourreality is that when we say
something, when we speaksomething, we also hear it.
And so um, I hope that thatBill is joining us this evening
and he would agree that when wesay something, we also hear it.
(08:12):
So it is really important forus to be more intentional about
our words.
Coach Wayne (08:19):
Yeah, and Stacy, language just simply it doesn't
describe reality, it alsocreates it.
Coach Stacy (08:26):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Absolutely right.
There's a lot of um we wetalked about uh kind of skipping
over or not really diving deepinto the fact that words have
energy.
Um, yet the reality is that umthey do.
(08:47):
Words have energy.
And so we're not we won't getinto the science of vibration,
but just acknowledging, thankyou for agreeing with me, Bill.
Just acknowledging that thewords that we speak have energy,
I think is important for us toremember.
And the one word, you know,kind of one example, right, is
(09:12):
when we use the wordoverwhelmed.
I'm so overwhelmed.
That's not just a word, that isthen a feeling.
And it's a feeling that we'realso emoting, that we are giving
out.
And so we want to be reallymindful of our words and the
energy behind our words.
Coach Wayne (09:31):
Yeah, that's powerful.
You know, oftentimes when we goto look at, let's say you want
to pick a restaurant and you'relooking at Yelp, you're looking
at the feedback, everybodyscored a 4.5 or a five.
And so they're excellentrestaurants.
(09:53):
And what makes the differenceis how people phrase their
experience at the restaurant.
If somebody said, for example,it was a nice restaurant, the
food was good, and somebody elsesaid it was amazing, and we had
supreme food.
(10:15):
Which would you pick?
Coach Stacy (10:17):
Right, right, right.
It's a great example, a greatcomparator.
Right.
I I definitely want a greatexperience, I want the supreme
food.
Coach Wayne (10:26):
Uh yeah, so yes, yes, so what they have by by the
way of their words, Stacy, theyhave emitted an energy about
their own experience thatreaches the reader, and now
you're also experiencing asimilar vibe.
(10:48):
And and here's the word wetalked about vibe.
Don't we say that loosely?
Feel your vibe, right?
Somebody talks to you and youand you say somebody's talking
to you, and you say, We vibing.
unknown (11:04):
Right?
Coach Wayne (11:05):
Right.
Coach Stacy (11:05):
That goes back to that that idea of words, right?
Words, sound is vibration.
Um, and so we we connect, Ithink, and when we're talking
about sound and vibration andthe use of words, it also comes
up in media.
So you used a great examplewith food reviews or restaurant
(11:29):
reviews.
Um, so often we are listening,or some of us are listening to
music and media that isbombarding us with words that
are not fueling us, that are notuplifting us, but that are uh
(11:52):
either tearing us down, or Idon't know, Wayne.
Sometimes I'll listen to asong, you know.
I have teenage, well, they'renow 20-year-old, um, but nieces,
and you know, sometime I'mlistening to the music and I
feel like I'm being attacked.
I feel like I'm beingassaulted, and it is not right.
(12:15):
So now it's playing, you know,on a device.
So clearly they're not in myface, they are not touching me,
but my goodness, the words thatare going into my ears that are
being absorbed by my spirit, I'mtelling you, I feel like I've
been assaulted sometimes.
Coach Wayne (12:35):
Stace, you're you're on the money there.
Music is so powerful, and theway music oftentimes works, it's
working at you at asubconscious level because
you're simply just just in thein the mode, as it were, and the
vibrations are hitting you fromboth the rhythm but the sounds
and what's being said.
(12:56):
Listen, one of my favorites isour own Jamaican Robert Nesta
Bob Marley.
And Stacey, whenever I'mdriving or wherever I am, and I
hear get up, stand up, stand upfor you right.
You can't help but get up,stand up, and start feeling the
(13:17):
vibe, right?
You can't help because themessage is telling you and
commanding you, as it were.
And so a lot of people, Stace,to your point, they tune into
songs that are beating them up,and it's incidental, it's just
in the background, but it'struly tuning into your psyche.
Coach Stacy (13:40):
Yes, absolutely.
And and and Bill is clearly ona comedic role tonight, and he
says, you know how your parentssaid the same thing about
Prince, like you need to take ashower after listening to
Prince.
Yes, indeed, I'm very familiarwith that, as the late great
prince was one of my faves.
(14:01):
Um, but what I think about thatum is that you mention Bob
Marley, right?
And when he says, could you belove?
Right?
Like that, it is that same useof words with the melody that
then does something to you.
(14:23):
And we just have to be verymindful, even in this seasoned
state, that it doesn't mean justbecause we're seasoned, that we
can listen to anything, that wecan let anything in our ear
gate that might not necessarilybe there or be in a position or
(14:44):
be words that are going touplift.
Coach Wayne (14:47):
Stace, as we as we maybe we want to move to the
next uh idea, but let me justsay that I read some time ago
about studies that spoke to theimportance of talking to your
baby in in while the baby wasstill in the womb, and that they
(15:08):
saw that the baby responded.
And when fathers did that, andwhen they read they uh they said
that the babies came out muchmore alert and as it were um
attuned and certainly connectedwith the fathers, right?
And if you sung lullabies andspoke words of love for the
(15:32):
baby, the baby was less fussywhen they were born.
Now imagine, imagine that inour mind we're saying this is an
onborn in terms of to the realworld, but yet because the baby
has been bombarded with words oflove and tenderness and care,
the baby is less fussy.
Coach Stacy (15:53):
I'm I'm so digging that one because it really
speaks to, and I I want to becareful about this word because
of the connotation that can bereceived, but it's a bit of
programming, right?
We're programming the infant toknow its parents' voice, to be
(16:18):
moved, right, to to sense andeven and I imagine as a fetus in
water, right, in and fluid,right, that that vibration is
really what's being experienced.
And then to experience thatvibration, to experience those
sounds, um, once they come tothis earth, um has is really a
(16:46):
bit of programming.
Get it, uh, is a bit ofprogramming.
And so, you know, it it meansthat we also have the
opportunity to reprogram.
So if we have been bombarded,right?
Or if we need to take a showerafter listening to too much
prints, or if we've beenlistening, you know, to too much
(17:06):
trap music, which I still don'treally know the definition of
that.
Um, you know, we get we get todecide, we get to change, we get
to reprogram what has takenplace with the words that have
come in.
Coach Wayne (17:23):
You know, Stace, here is something that is really
interesting.
The human being is called aperson.
When you break that up, itmeans persona, which means
through sound.
But but it means through sound.
(17:47):
And uh we, when you think aboutit, we talk about our vibration
and our levels.
Uh, a lot of how we express isthrough sound.
We we we we we speak to others,they receive it, and we
function accordingly.
You talked about reprogramming.
(18:08):
Well, you can reprogram by, asit were, entraining the mind,
which doesn't know thedifference between, according to
our scientists, between realityand fantasy.
So if you tell through, say,affirmation or prayer or
chanting, a certain repetition,the mind then starts apparently
(18:35):
uh creating neurons that affirmsor is congruent with what is
being said.
You know what I'm saying?
So if you start saying, I amwell, I feel healthy, I am you
know wellness, if you say thislong enough often enough, it is
(18:58):
said that there is aphysiological and a biological
response.
The brain actually has neuronsthat starts responding in the
way of a healthy person versussaying, I am sick, if that makes
sense.
Coach Stacy (19:14):
Oh no, it makes a lot of sense.
As coaches, we're often talkingabout rewriting the narrative,
right?
Not the written narrative, butthe mental narrative, the
mentally spoken narrative thatis playing in your mind.
And so you are talking aboutreally rewriting that,
(19:36):
dismantling the lies andcombating those lies, those
negative narratives with truth,right?
Scripture says death and lifeare in the power of the tongue.
So, you know, God was veryintentional about the power of
the tongue, the power of ourwords.
(20:00):
And what a great opportunityto, you know, to take anything
to dismantle, right?
I'm stuck into I'm intransition, right?
It does it doesn't mean I'mwhere I want to be, but it means
I'm on the way, as opposed toI'm stuck.
I am, you know, enough asopposed to I'm not worthy or I'm
(20:24):
not capable or I'm not enough.
Um, we get to combat that,right?
We get to you use affirmations.
I often use declarations, youknow, like I declare, I declare
that I am enough, that I that mymind is sound.
Oh, I could go on and on aboutthat one.
(20:45):
Go ahead.
Coach Wayne (20:46):
Yeah, I would say as a coach, choose an
affirmation to dispel apowerless or impotent status
that you hold to be true, alimiting belief about yourself
or about something that you wantto achieve.
So if, for example, we justtalked about health.
(21:07):
If you truly want to startfeeling better, you have to
start shaping your mindset.
And one of the more powerfulthings that we know how to do
that with is by inducting yourthinking into the whole of
positive possibility withpowerful words, affirmations.
Coach Stacy (21:30):
That was good.
That positive possibility withpowerful words, that was good.
I totally agree with you.
And I would say your yourdeclaration, your affirmation
can be so very simple.
For me, the the recentdeclaration is I am beloved by
(21:53):
God.
And when you when for me, whenI start to flip that or start
to, you know, hear a messagethat speaks something different,
I get to say out loud, you knowwhat?
I am beloved by God.
And if I'm beloved by thecreator, then there is no reason
that this foolishness, thisfear, you know, this shame, this
(22:16):
whatever it is, can can standin my way.
And so let's, you know, remindourselves that our subconscious
listens to what you consistentlydeclare.
And and so these are we'rereally giving you some tools to
uh to shift your words and andreally use them as power.
Coach Wayne (22:38):
You know, the ancients who devised our
language knew the power ofwords, the word grammar, grammar
comes from, which meant to uh abook of magic, whatever that
is, uh however you take that,and spelling as in to cast a
spell.
So when you spell, you are, andthis sounds hocus pocus, but
(23:02):
what they realized was that inthe use of words and language,
you truly could create realityor destroy it.
Imagine, you know, uh notpointing fingers at any
politicians, and but if you tella lie open enough, everyone
(23:25):
starts, even if you were there,starts believing it after a
while, right?
You start saying it over andover and over.
And this is true when you alsospeak to yourself, as in the uh
reprogramming that you justtalked about, Stacy.
If you reprogram yourself byrepeating, they say fake it till
(23:49):
you make it, telling yourselfover and over what's possible
for you.
Coach Stacy (23:54):
That's absolutely that's absolutely correct.
I agree with you that that weneither of us believe in in
hocus pocus, but to your pointof using the the root words, I I
thought that that was veryinteresting, right?
Because sometimes you'll hear,at least in movies and in in
settings, right, that oh, hecast a spell on me with with his
(24:19):
words, right?
Um, and so um, while again, weare not here to talk about
hocus, pocus, and spells andmagic.
That is neither of our jam.
Um, but what we are saying isthat your words do have power
and that you have the capacityto um make some practical
(24:39):
language shifts.
That's that's what I would say,right?
That's what we're recommending.
Make some practical languageshifts so that the words that
you're saying to yourself andthe words that you're speaking
out of your mouth, especiallyabout yourself, are words that
are uplifting you and moving youin the direction you want to
go.
Coach Wayne (24:58):
Yeah.
And I would say to folks, thinkabout what sort of shift you
want in your status.
And whatever it is, if you wantto lose weight, you have to
tell yourself and put it, don'tbeat yourself up, be kind, give
yourself grace, but speak interms of a person who is
(25:20):
thinking as one who has lostweight and own that personality,
own that persona, and decidetoday where would you like to
shift in terms of your realityby use of language?
Coach Stacy (25:38):
Absolutely, and I love that example, and you know,
to couple with the weight lossidea or concept.
Uh, the reality is that, youknow, whenever I'm working on my
weight, which is often, I amreminding myself or or deciding
(26:00):
what language I'm going to use.
Will I use the language I willnever lose this next five
pounds, or will I use thelanguage that I'm on my way to
losing these five pounds?
And so those are daily easydecisions that we get to make.
And as Delane said, we alwayslive with hope because being
(26:21):
hopeless is dangerous.
Amen.
Yes, amen.
What uh Wayne, um, I there'sone reference that we uh
identify that we want to share,and it is Andrew Newberg's Words
Can Change Your Brain.
We're not endorsing the book,we know it to be a reference
(26:42):
that um some of you may enjoy uhas you move through exploring
opportunities to shift yourshift your language.
Coach Wayne (26:52):
Stacey I happen to uh have just picked up something
uh while we were getting sent.
And this is a pretty good bookfor folks.
It's um magic words by JonahBerger, What to Say to Get Your
Way.
We're not talking aboutmanipulating, we're talking
about persuasive language.
Coach Stacy (27:12):
Ah, okay.
Coach Wayne (27:13):
And since we're always, no matter what the
transaction is, we're always ina sales mode because we're
selling ourselves always, right?
Or an idea.
Uh, it's a wonderful book thatif folks want to pick it up, I
would recommend it.
Magic words.
Coach Stacy (27:28):
We will make sure that we put these resources that
we have offered in our shownotes so that you can all access
them and in the comments underthese live feeds.
Um, because we want to makesure that we're equipping you
and not just giving you uhthrowing out terms or or titles
(27:49):
and not making them available toyou.
Uh, Wayne, what would you sayare a couple of key takeaways
that you want to make sure ourlistener receives?
Coach Wayne (28:00):
Well, I wanted to add as a takeaway, but something
else.
In a time such as now wherefolks are feeling some
uncertainty, we can reframe ourreality with words that express
freedom.
Instead of saying that uh Idon't know how because I failed,
(28:22):
we can say I'm learning fromthe feedback, stuff like that.
So I would say that think aboutin a time such as now where
there's a lot of uncertainty,how you choose and rephrase
words that are limiting to theway you see your reality is very
(28:43):
important.
Choose powerful words ofpossibilities.
Coach Stacy (28:49):
Possibilities.
I I I really like that.
And I will I will use that, andI appreciate that um coaching
tip.
I would remind that yourlanguage, your words is
something that you should bevery intentional about.
And when you catch yourselfusing words or maybe assaulting
(29:14):
yourself with your own words, uhyou get the opportunity, you
have the opportunity and thepower, and now some tools to
reframe, right?
To shift that thinking, toshift those words.
Um, we will make available inthe show notes as well a uh word
(29:38):
shift worksheet.
Uh, because the idea there isthat it's much easier than you
can imagine.
Um, there is great opportunityfor each of us to be speaking
life, not only to ourselves, butto others, because we are
embodying that life.
We're embodying what we Say.
(30:00):
And we're embracing a path ofexploration, of taking chances
and doing so as we fuelourselves with the right words.
Coach Wayne (30:12):
Love it, Stacy.
What a way to go out.
Stacy, is there anything thefolks should know about Stacey
M.
Lewis, the coach, and how toconnect?
Coach Stacy (30:25):
Absolutely.
We always make sure that ourcontact information is in the
show notes.
If you are connected with bothof us on LinkedIn or Facebook or
YouTube, please don't hesitateto follow, to connect, to email,
to message, to comment.
We want to know what you haveto say.
(30:46):
And Wayne, what about you?
Coach Wayne (30:50):
Folks can get me through any of my social media
handles by going straight to mysite, which is VIP
Transformative Living.com.
If you're watching us, it'sshowing.
But if not, it's as it'ssounding, viptransformative
living.com.
And I'm happy and in the shownote, I'm gonna also share with
(31:16):
you a link for a freeself-assessment that helps you
with the what that may begetting in the way of your
getting to the next level.
And once you complete that,Stacy, uh, if you're open, I can
sit with you, analyze it, andshow you a strategy for the how
to get out of it.
Coach Stacy (31:36):
That's good stuff.
We will make sure that theresource of the assessment is in
the show notes as well asaccess to the word shift
worksheet.
Uh, we wanted to make sure thatyou have everything you need to
be a part of the revolution onthis midlife journey.
Wayne, I am always honored andgrateful to spend this time with
(32:03):
you.
Coach Wayne (32:04):
Same here, Stace.
Uh, iron sharpens iron, theysay.
And so I look forward to ourtime together where we can serve
others and uh be a blessing toeach other.
So thank you, Stace.
Coach Stacy (32:18):
Yes, thank you all for listening.
You are the Midlife RevolutionUnleashed.
Let's go, Wayne.
Coach Wayne (32:25):
Bye-bye.
Coach Stacy (32:26):
Thanks for tuning in to Midlife Revolution
Unleashed.
We're grateful you're part ofthis journey.
Coach Wayne (32:32):
If you love this episode, share it, subscribe,
and hit that notification bellso you don't miss another
episode.
Coach Stacy (32:39):
I'm Coach Stacy, and I'm cheering you on.
Coach Wayne (32:42):
And I'm Coach Wayne, and I'll see you at the
top.
Think about the last words you spoke to yourself
this morning.
Were they words ofencouragement or quiet sabotage?
Here's the truth.
Words don't just describe yourreality, they can create it.
And in midlife, the words wechoose can either reinforce
stuckness or unlock a whole newchapter.
(00:29):
Let's talk about it.
Coach Wayne (00:33):
You found the midlife revolution unleashed the
space to embrace your wisdom,reignite your passions, and move
boldly into what's next.
I am Coach Wayne, the VIPcoach.
Coach Stacy (00:46):
And I'm Coach Stacy M.
Lewis.
We're here with insights,stories, and strategies to fuel
your midlife journey.
So take a breath, lean in.
Your revolution starts now.
Coach Wayne (01:04):
Hello, Miss Stacy.
Coach Stacy (01:09):
Good evening, ma'am.
Wayne, good day.
Coach Wayne (01:13):
I am Coach Wayne, your VIP coach.
I work with black men helpingthem to cross the threshold of
midlife so that their secondhalf can be their best half.
And I am with the wonderfulcoach Stacy M.
Lewis.
Coach Stacy (01:30):
Hi, Stacey.
We're gonna get some soundeffects, Wayne, one day.
Welcome back to the MidlifeRevolution Unleashed.
It is exciting to be here.
I am Coach Stacy, and today weare driving into the hidden
power of words.
How the language that you useevery day, whether talking it
(01:51):
out loud or thinking it in yourhead, can influence your
emotions and ultimately directthe course of your life.
Wayne and I talk about wordsall the time.
So this is gonna be a greatepisode.
Coach Wayne (02:07):
You know, Stacy, back in the day when I was in
school, if I came home and Itold my mother that somebody
called me names and jeered me,she would say, Words, sticks and
stones may break your bones,but words can't hurt you, right?
And mommy, rest in peace.
(02:29):
Words do have impact.
Words can build and words candestroy, words can hurt you.
Coach Stacy (02:39):
They really can.
And and clearly, uh, while I wedon't believe our mothers knew
each other, they certainly saidsome of the same things.
And one thing my mother did sayas well is that whole sticks
and stones.
Um, but it sounds like uh wewant to say good evening to
Delane.
I imagine that she uh can agreewith us.
(03:01):
Welcome, Delane.
It's always good to have youhere at Midlife Revolution
Unleashed.
My mother was very much uh awoman of strength, and she my
childhood and myself as a as aperson, we just are very
(03:22):
different personalities.
And so, yes, the idea that whatsomeone said would hurt you was
not necessarily an idea thatshe really embraced, but it's so
true that words can hurt.
I know that their their desirewas to really strengthen us
internally, and yet the realityis that words can hurt, words
(03:47):
are powerful, and so we want toreally talk about um how we can
use words in ways that uplift usuh and not tear us apart.
Coach Wayne (03:59):
That's so true, Stacy.
I know that oftentimes we saythings to folk, and there's an
old saying that uh once yourelease the word, you can't take
it back.
And so it is so important that,and tonight we're not just
(04:19):
talking about the words that werender from our mouths to other
people, but the words that weare thinking, because we think
in terms of words, right?
So, what we're thinking interms of how we talk to
ourselves, that's very importantwhen we talk about hurting
ourselves, we talk aboutbuilding ourselves, we talk
(04:41):
about tearing down ourselves.
So if you're listening intoday, we will definitely
challenge you to look at how youcome across using your words
and how you might be intentionalin choosing more impactful
words to deliver the message andthe feelings that you want to
(05:06):
land.
Absolutely.
Coach Stacy (05:09):
There is so much to say about words, um, you know,
and we're reminded that we needto be very intentional about
what it is we speak and what itis we're saying to ourselves.
And I think a very easy shift,um, one that was very recent for
(05:30):
me, uh, was acknowledging thatsomething is hard, right?
And I kept saying in my head,oh gosh, this is harder than I
thought it would be.
This is harder than I thoughtit would be.
And at a point, um, you know, Iwas reminded of my own agency
and authority to say, I can dohard things, right?
(05:53):
So it's like, yes, it is harderthan I thought it would be, and
I can do hard things.
And for me, that was a littlebit of self-motivation, right?
Changing the words that I wasusing.
And I think that we can all askourselves, you know, as
coaches, Wayne, you and I arealways looking at questions that
(06:13):
we can share with our listenerto really uh challenge
themselves in these areas.
And one is what phrases are yourepeating that reinforce a
limitation?
Right.
And so that was my example of,you know, this is harder than I
thought, right?
It's reinforcing the limitationof something being difficult
(06:36):
and changing that into I can dohard things, um, is just one
opportunity or one way to shiftlanguage.
What do you think about that,Wayne?
Coach Wayne (06:49):
You know, that's very powerful.
The way that you phrase that.
If you say uh in the way of thewords you use, if you said I
can do hard things or I'm up forthe challenge, knowing that
something is difficult, it's amuch more powerful way of adding
(07:09):
possibilities to something bygiving it, I am up for the
challenge versus saying this istoo difficult.
You're expressing just aboutthe same thing, but saying I'm
up for the challenge gives you asense of possibility.
And here's the other part aboutwords, Stacey.
(07:30):
When you say something, youthen need to believe in it, sort
of to give gas to the pedal.
So if you say the word, youalso want to believe in it so
that you can then follow throughwith congruent action and
behavior.
Coach Stacy (07:50):
I agree.
This may come up again, yet ourreality is that when we say
something, when we speaksomething, we also hear it.
And so um, I hope that thatBill is joining us this evening
and he would agree that when wesay something, we also hear it.
(08:12):
So it is really important forus to be more intentional about
our words.
Coach Wayne (08:19):
Yeah, and Stacy, language just simply it doesn't
describe reality, it alsocreates it.
Coach Stacy (08:26):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Absolutely right.
There's a lot of um we wetalked about uh kind of skipping
over or not really diving deepinto the fact that words have
energy.
Um, yet the reality is that umthey do.
(08:47):
Words have energy.
And so we're not we won't getinto the science of vibration,
but just acknowledging, thankyou for agreeing with me, Bill.
Just acknowledging that thewords that we speak have energy,
I think is important for us toremember.
And the one word, you know,kind of one example, right, is
(09:12):
when we use the wordoverwhelmed.
I'm so overwhelmed.
That's not just a word, that isthen a feeling.
And it's a feeling that we'realso emoting, that we are giving
out.
And so we want to be reallymindful of our words and the
energy behind our words.
Coach Wayne (09:31):
Yeah, that's powerful.
You know, oftentimes when we goto look at, let's say you want
to pick a restaurant and you'relooking at Yelp, you're looking
at the feedback, everybodyscored a 4.5 or a five.
And so they're excellentrestaurants.
(09:53):
And what makes the differenceis how people phrase their
experience at the restaurant.
If somebody said, for example,it was a nice restaurant, the
food was good, and somebody elsesaid it was amazing, and we had
supreme food.
(10:15):
Which would you pick?
Coach Stacy (10:17):
Right, right, right.
It's a great example, a greatcomparator.
Right.
I I definitely want a greatexperience, I want the supreme
food.
Coach Wayne (10:26):
Uh yeah, so yes, yes, so what they have by by the
way of their words, Stacy, theyhave emitted an energy about
their own experience thatreaches the reader, and now
you're also experiencing asimilar vibe.
(10:48):
And and here's the word wetalked about vibe.
Don't we say that loosely?
Feel your vibe, right?
Somebody talks to you and youand you say somebody's talking
to you, and you say, We vibing.
unknown (11:04):
Right?
Coach Wayne (11:05):
Right.
Coach Stacy (11:05):
That goes back to that that idea of words, right?
Words, sound is vibration.
Um, and so we we connect, Ithink, and when we're talking
about sound and vibration andthe use of words, it also comes
up in media.
So you used a great examplewith food reviews or restaurant
(11:29):
reviews.
Um, so often we are listening,or some of us are listening to
music and media that isbombarding us with words that
are not fueling us, that are notuplifting us, but that are uh
(11:52):
either tearing us down, or Idon't know, Wayne.
Sometimes I'll listen to asong, you know.
I have teenage, well, they'renow 20-year-old, um, but nieces,
and you know, sometime I'mlistening to the music and I
feel like I'm being attacked.
I feel like I'm beingassaulted, and it is not right.
(12:15):
So now it's playing, you know,on a device.
So clearly they're not in myface, they are not touching me,
but my goodness, the words thatare going into my ears that are
being absorbed by my spirit, I'mtelling you, I feel like I've
been assaulted sometimes.
Coach Wayne (12:35):
Stace, you're you're on the money there.
Music is so powerful, and theway music oftentimes works, it's
working at you at asubconscious level because
you're simply just just in thein the mode, as it were, and the
vibrations are hitting you fromboth the rhythm but the sounds
and what's being said.
(12:56):
Listen, one of my favorites isour own Jamaican Robert Nesta
Bob Marley.
And Stacey, whenever I'mdriving or wherever I am, and I
hear get up, stand up, stand upfor you right.
You can't help but get up,stand up, and start feeling the
(13:17):
vibe, right?
You can't help because themessage is telling you and
commanding you, as it were.
And so a lot of people, Stace,to your point, they tune into
songs that are beating them up,and it's incidental, it's just
in the background, but it'struly tuning into your psyche.
Coach Stacy (13:40):
Yes, absolutely.
And and and Bill is clearly ona comedic role tonight, and he
says, you know how your parentssaid the same thing about
Prince, like you need to take ashower after listening to
Prince.
Yes, indeed, I'm very familiarwith that, as the late great
prince was one of my faves.
(14:01):
Um, but what I think about thatum is that you mention Bob
Marley, right?
And when he says, could you belove?
Right?
Like that, it is that same useof words with the melody that
then does something to you.
(14:23):
And we just have to be verymindful, even in this seasoned
state, that it doesn't mean justbecause we're seasoned, that we
can listen to anything, that wecan let anything in our ear
gate that might not necessarilybe there or be in a position or
(14:44):
be words that are going touplift.
Coach Wayne (14:47):
Stace, as we as we maybe we want to move to the
next uh idea, but let me justsay that I read some time ago
about studies that spoke to theimportance of talking to your
baby in in while the baby wasstill in the womb, and that they
(15:08):
saw that the baby responded.
And when fathers did that, andwhen they read they uh they said
that the babies came out muchmore alert and as it were um
attuned and certainly connectedwith the fathers, right?
And if you sung lullabies andspoke words of love for the
(15:32):
baby, the baby was less fussywhen they were born.
Now imagine, imagine that inour mind we're saying this is an
onborn in terms of to the realworld, but yet because the baby
has been bombarded with words oflove and tenderness and care,
the baby is less fussy.
Coach Stacy (15:53):
I'm I'm so digging that one because it really
speaks to, and I I want to becareful about this word because
of the connotation that can bereceived, but it's a bit of
programming, right?
We're programming the infant toknow its parents' voice, to be
(16:18):
moved, right, to to sense andeven and I imagine as a fetus in
water, right, in and fluid,right, that that vibration is
really what's being experienced.
And then to experience thatvibration, to experience those
sounds, um, once they come tothis earth, um has is really a
(16:46):
bit of programming.
Get it, uh, is a bit ofprogramming.
And so, you know, it it meansthat we also have the
opportunity to reprogram.
So if we have been bombarded,right?
Or if we need to take a showerafter listening to too much
prints, or if we've beenlistening, you know, to too much
(17:06):
trap music, which I still don'treally know the definition of
that.
Um, you know, we get we get todecide, we get to change, we get
to reprogram what has takenplace with the words that have
come in.
Coach Wayne (17:23):
You know, Stace, here is something that is really
interesting.
The human being is called aperson.
When you break that up, itmeans persona, which means
through sound.
But but it means through sound.
(17:47):
And uh we, when you think aboutit, we talk about our vibration
and our levels.
Uh, a lot of how we express isthrough sound.
We we we we we speak to others,they receive it, and we
function accordingly.
You talked about reprogramming.
(18:08):
Well, you can reprogram by, asit were, entraining the mind,
which doesn't know thedifference between, according to
our scientists, between realityand fantasy.
So if you tell through, say,affirmation or prayer or
chanting, a certain repetition,the mind then starts apparently
(18:35):
uh creating neurons that affirmsor is congruent with what is
being said.
You know what I'm saying?
So if you start saying, I amwell, I feel healthy, I am you
know wellness, if you say thislong enough often enough, it is
(18:58):
said that there is aphysiological and a biological
response.
The brain actually has neuronsthat starts responding in the
way of a healthy person versussaying, I am sick, if that makes
sense.
Coach Stacy (19:14):
Oh no, it makes a lot of sense.
As coaches, we're often talkingabout rewriting the narrative,
right?
Not the written narrative, butthe mental narrative, the
mentally spoken narrative thatis playing in your mind.
And so you are talking aboutreally rewriting that,
(19:36):
dismantling the lies andcombating those lies, those
negative narratives with truth,right?
Scripture says death and lifeare in the power of the tongue.
So, you know, God was veryintentional about the power of
the tongue, the power of ourwords.
(20:00):
And what a great opportunityto, you know, to take anything
to dismantle, right?
I'm stuck into I'm intransition, right?
It does it doesn't mean I'mwhere I want to be, but it means
I'm on the way, as opposed toI'm stuck.
I am, you know, enough asopposed to I'm not worthy or I'm
(20:24):
not capable or I'm not enough.
Um, we get to combat that,right?
We get to you use affirmations.
I often use declarations, youknow, like I declare, I declare
that I am enough, that I that mymind is sound.
Oh, I could go on and on aboutthat one.
(20:45):
Go ahead.
Coach Wayne (20:46):
Yeah, I would say as a coach, choose an
affirmation to dispel apowerless or impotent status
that you hold to be true, alimiting belief about yourself
or about something that you wantto achieve.
So if, for example, we justtalked about health.
(21:07):
If you truly want to startfeeling better, you have to
start shaping your mindset.
And one of the more powerfulthings that we know how to do
that with is by inducting yourthinking into the whole of
positive possibility withpowerful words, affirmations.
Coach Stacy (21:30):
That was good.
That positive possibility withpowerful words, that was good.
I totally agree with you.
And I would say your yourdeclaration, your affirmation
can be so very simple.
For me, the the recentdeclaration is I am beloved by
(21:53):
God.
And when you when for me, whenI start to flip that or start
to, you know, hear a messagethat speaks something different,
I get to say out loud, you knowwhat?
I am beloved by God.
And if I'm beloved by thecreator, then there is no reason
that this foolishness, thisfear, you know, this shame, this
(22:16):
whatever it is, can can standin my way.
And so let's, you know, remindourselves that our subconscious
listens to what you consistentlydeclare.
And and so these are we'rereally giving you some tools to
uh to shift your words and andreally use them as power.
Coach Wayne (22:38):
You know, the ancients who devised our
language knew the power ofwords, the word grammar, grammar
comes from, which meant to uh abook of magic, whatever that
is, uh however you take that,and spelling as in to cast a
spell.
So when you spell, you are, andthis sounds hocus pocus, but
(23:02):
what they realized was that inthe use of words and language,
you truly could create realityor destroy it.
Imagine, you know, uh notpointing fingers at any
politicians, and but if you tella lie open enough, everyone
(23:25):
starts, even if you were there,starts believing it after a
while, right?
You start saying it over andover and over.
And this is true when you alsospeak to yourself, as in the uh
reprogramming that you justtalked about, Stacy.
If you reprogram yourself byrepeating, they say fake it till
(23:49):
you make it, telling yourselfover and over what's possible
for you.
Coach Stacy (23:54):
That's absolutely that's absolutely correct.
I agree with you that that weneither of us believe in in
hocus pocus, but to your pointof using the the root words, I I
thought that that was veryinteresting, right?
Because sometimes you'll hear,at least in movies and in in
settings, right, that oh, hecast a spell on me with with his
(24:19):
words, right?
Um, and so um, while again, weare not here to talk about
hocus, pocus, and spells andmagic.
That is neither of our jam.
Um, but what we are saying isthat your words do have power
and that you have the capacityto um make some practical
(24:39):
language shifts.
That's that's what I would say,right?
That's what we're recommending.
Make some practical languageshifts so that the words that
you're saying to yourself andthe words that you're speaking
out of your mouth, especiallyabout yourself, are words that
are uplifting you and moving youin the direction you want to
go.
Coach Wayne (24:58):
Yeah.
And I would say to folks, thinkabout what sort of shift you
want in your status.
And whatever it is, if you wantto lose weight, you have to
tell yourself and put it, don'tbeat yourself up, be kind, give
yourself grace, but speak interms of a person who is
(25:20):
thinking as one who has lostweight and own that personality,
own that persona, and decidetoday where would you like to
shift in terms of your realityby use of language?
Coach Stacy (25:38):
Absolutely, and I love that example, and you know,
to couple with the weight lossidea or concept.
Uh, the reality is that, youknow, whenever I'm working on my
weight, which is often, I amreminding myself or or deciding
(26:00):
what language I'm going to use.
Will I use the language I willnever lose this next five
pounds, or will I use thelanguage that I'm on my way to
losing these five pounds?
And so those are daily easydecisions that we get to make.
And as Delane said, we alwayslive with hope because being
(26:21):
hopeless is dangerous.
Amen.
Yes, amen.
What uh Wayne, um, I there'sone reference that we uh
identify that we want to share,and it is Andrew Newberg's Words
Can Change Your Brain.
We're not endorsing the book,we know it to be a reference
(26:42):
that um some of you may enjoy uhas you move through exploring
opportunities to shift yourshift your language.
Coach Wayne (26:52):
Stacey I happen to uh have just picked up something
uh while we were getting sent.
And this is a pretty good bookfor folks.
It's um magic words by JonahBerger, What to Say to Get Your
Way.
We're not talking aboutmanipulating, we're talking
about persuasive language.
Coach Stacy (27:12):
Ah, okay.
Coach Wayne (27:13):
And since we're always, no matter what the
transaction is, we're always ina sales mode because we're
selling ourselves always, right?
Or an idea.
Uh, it's a wonderful book thatif folks want to pick it up, I
would recommend it.
Magic words.
Coach Stacy (27:28):
We will make sure that we put these resources that
we have offered in our shownotes so that you can all access
them and in the comments underthese live feeds.
Um, because we want to makesure that we're equipping you
and not just giving you uhthrowing out terms or or titles
(27:49):
and not making them available toyou.
Uh, Wayne, what would you sayare a couple of key takeaways
that you want to make sure ourlistener receives?
Coach Wayne (28:00):
Well, I wanted to add as a takeaway, but something
else.
In a time such as now wherefolks are feeling some
uncertainty, we can reframe ourreality with words that express
freedom.
Instead of saying that uh Idon't know how because I failed,
(28:22):
we can say I'm learning fromthe feedback, stuff like that.
So I would say that think aboutin a time such as now where
there's a lot of uncertainty,how you choose and rephrase
words that are limiting to theway you see your reality is very
(28:43):
important.
Choose powerful words ofpossibilities.
Coach Stacy (28:49):
Possibilities.
I I I really like that.
And I will I will use that, andI appreciate that um coaching
tip.
I would remind that yourlanguage, your words is
something that you should bevery intentional about.
And when you catch yourselfusing words or maybe assaulting
(29:14):
yourself with your own words, uhyou get the opportunity, you
have the opportunity and thepower, and now some tools to
reframe, right?
To shift that thinking, toshift those words.
Um, we will make available inthe show notes as well a uh word
(29:38):
shift worksheet.
Uh, because the idea there isthat it's much easier than you
can imagine.
Um, there is great opportunityfor each of us to be speaking
life, not only to ourselves, butto others, because we are
embodying that life.
We're embodying what we Say.
(30:00):
And we're embracing a path ofexploration, of taking chances
and doing so as we fuelourselves with the right words.
Coach Wayne (30:12):
Love it, Stacy.
What a way to go out.
Stacy, is there anything thefolks should know about Stacey
M.
Lewis, the coach, and how toconnect?
Coach Stacy (30:25):
Absolutely.
We always make sure that ourcontact information is in the
show notes.
If you are connected with bothof us on LinkedIn or Facebook or
YouTube, please don't hesitateto follow, to connect, to email,
to message, to comment.
We want to know what you haveto say.
(30:46):
And Wayne, what about you?
Coach Wayne (30:50):
Folks can get me through any of my social media
handles by going straight to mysite, which is VIP
Transformative Living.com.
If you're watching us, it'sshowing.
But if not, it's as it'ssounding, viptransformative
living.com.
And I'm happy and in the shownote, I'm gonna also share with
(31:16):
you a link for a freeself-assessment that helps you
with the what that may begetting in the way of your
getting to the next level.
And once you complete that,Stacy, uh, if you're open, I can
sit with you, analyze it, andshow you a strategy for the how
to get out of it.
Coach Stacy (31:36):
That's good stuff.
We will make sure that theresource of the assessment is in
the show notes as well asaccess to the word shift
worksheet.
Uh, we wanted to make sure thatyou have everything you need to
be a part of the revolution onthis midlife journey.
Wayne, I am always honored andgrateful to spend this time with
(32:03):
you.
Coach Wayne (32:04):
Same here, Stace.
Uh, iron sharpens iron, theysay.
And so I look forward to ourtime together where we can serve
others and uh be a blessing toeach other.
So thank you, Stace.
Coach Stacy (32:18):
Yes, thank you all for listening.
You are the Midlife RevolutionUnleashed.
Let's go, Wayne.
Coach Wayne (32:25):
Bye-bye.
Coach Stacy (32:26):
Thanks for tuning in to Midlife Revolution
Unleashed.
We're grateful you're part ofthis journey.
Coach Wayne (32:32):
If you love this episode, share it, subscribe,
and hit that notification bellso you don't miss another
episode.
Coach Stacy (32:39):
I'm Coach Stacy, and I'm cheering you on.
Coach Wayne (32:42):
And I'm Coach Wayne, and I'll see you at the
top.
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