October 3, 2025 • 33 mins
Ever stood on the edge of a choice so long that the fear got louder than your faith? We go straight at that moment—where hesitation lives—and make a case for granting yourself permission to act before you feel fully ready. Readiness so often comes after the first step, not before it, and we unpack how to move even when your nerves are talking loud.
Together we explore why self-doubt feeds on delay, how action shrinks fear through momentum, and what it means to align with today’s truth instead of yesterday’s story. We share coaching insights, lived moments, and a vivid faith metaphor to show how trust in motion works in real life. You’ll hear how updating your self-concept—dropping labels like “too old,” “too late,” or “not creative”—opens doors you’ve been staring at for years. We also talk about comparison as a subtle permission-thief and offer a simple way to build a bias toward action with tiny, repeatable steps.
By the end, you’ll have two concrete practices: a self-concept check to name who you are now and the Leap First Challenge to take one meaningful action in the next 24 hours. Whether you’re considering a new role, launching a business, reimagining relationships, or returning to a passion, this conversation gives you the mindset and the moves to get unstuck. Midlife isn’t a deadline—it’s a launch window. Say yes to the next step and let momentum teach you what’s next.
If this resonated, tap follow, share it with someone who’s waiting on perfect conditions, and leave a quick review so more midlifers find their leap. Your step today might be the spark someone else needs tomorrow.
Subscribe @CoachStacyMLewis and @CoachWayneVIP
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Wayne (00:03):
Have you ever sat on the edge of a decision so long that
fear got louder than your faith?
In midlife, hesitation canbecome our default.
But what if the very act ofleaping first is what shrinks
the fear?
Today we're talking aboutgranting yourself permission to
(00:24):
act before you are fully ready.
You found the midliferevolution unleashed the space
to embrace your wisdom, reigniteyour passions, and move boldly
into what's next.
I am Coach Wayne, the VIPcoach.
Stacy (00:44):
And I'm Coach Stacy M.
Lewis.
We're here with insights,stories, and strategies to fuel
your midlife journey.
So take a breath, lean in.
Your revolution starts now.
Good day! In this episode ofMidlife Revolution Unleashed,
(01:07):
we'll explore how to overcomethat self-doubt.
Stop waiting for perfect timingand start granting yourself
permission to move forward.
Whether that's in your career,your business, your
relationships, or your personalgrowth.
Welcome to Midlife RevolutionUnleashed.
I am your co-host, Stacey M.
(01:29):
Lewis.
I'm a nonprofit executive, amidlife women's coach, and a
lover of God and his people.
And I'm joined by the one andonly VIP transformative coach,
Coach Wayne.
Woo woo! We need some soundeffects.
Woo!
Wayne (01:49):
Yes, sir.
Thank you, Stacy.
I'm your man, the one and only,the VIP coach, Coach Wayne.
I help men in midlife movethrough so that their second
half can be their best half.
Stacy, ready for quite astimulation in terms of a
(02:11):
conversation where we can pumpsome energy into our folks?
Stacy (02:14):
Absolutely, and really remind ourselves of the gift of
our own permission, right?
And our opportunities toovercome self-doubt and to move
forward.
So we're gonna talk aboutredefining readiness, why
confidence comes after the leap.
(02:35):
What say you, Sir Wayne?
Wayne (02:37):
What leap, Stacey?
You know, I heard often as akid about caution, and you may
have heard it too.
And the thing that we probablyheard was look before you leap.
And sometimes we take that, ofcourse, you know, there is
warning for all of us to becautious before we take action.
(03:00):
But if you take that veryliterally, sometimes it on it's
the undoing of you in terms ofgetting ahead.
Would you agree, Stacy?
Stacy (03:09):
You're absolutely right.
Uh, I think that's one of theuh concepts sometimes that
really impacts our self-concept,right?
Yes, you are to look before youleap, right?
We're not uh really suggestingjust taking high risks without
no consideration.
Um, but how long will you look?
(03:32):
Will you look to ascertain theimmediate information that you
need before you take the leap?
Or will you look to gather theimmediate information, gather
the long-term information, lookdown next week's road, look back
two weeks later or earlier, andthen find yourself saying, I'm
(03:59):
still in the same place.
Wayne (04:01):
Yeah.
Stacy, I was taught by awonderful gentleman who is very
successful by all measures thatsuccess likes decision.
And this decision to act isvery important.
Very often, we waste a lot ofenergy and time by deliberating
(04:21):
and procrastination.
How is that, you may ask?
I'm happy to tell you.
When we sit around and we'reweighing the facts, as it were,
we're gathering moreinformation, we're going out and
getting more, and we'recomparing and we're continuing
to do this.
That's tiring.
And that's a lot of time spentwhen, in fact, most of us have
(04:46):
the information we need to justmake a wise or informed
decision.
Stacy (04:53):
I love that adage, and I will add that self-doubt feeds
on hesitation, right?
So the longer we wait orhesitate or procrastinate, as
you said, um, the more we doubtthe action, the next step that
(05:20):
we were planning to take.
And so that waiting, in thatwaiting, uh, we not only develop
that self-doubt, but it alsotakes a lot of energy to wait
and deliberate andprocrastinate.
All of that requires energy,and that's energy that we could
(05:42):
be leaping with.
Wayne (05:44):
And here's a question that as midlifers, we're often
uh encountering and dealingwith.
And it's this question that weask ourselves Am I too late?
Am I too late?
You know, is there is it worthdoing it because I'm at midlife?
And that self-doubt, when welook at our self-concept as a
(06:08):
midlifer, is one of the thingsthat we gotta get out of the way
so that we can take a chanceand take the leap.
Stacy (06:18):
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
I agree with you that.
This is the time.
Wayne (06:54):
Yeah.
And so I would leave folk withthis this one thing as an
affirmation.
Let us start saying, I am notthe person of yesteryear, I am
the person of the becoming.
So who you are now and whoyou're growing into is what you
ought to use to determine yourability to make a difference,
(07:18):
move forward, take the leap.
Stacy (07:20):
I agree.
And the I'm not the person ofyesteryear also can be coupled
with, and that's a good thing,right?
Because you've learned so much,you've grown so much, you've
gleaned so much uh in duringyour yesteryear days, right?
That now you really are moreready than you ever were.
(07:46):
Let's let's take a little pauseand say hello to Delaine.
It is always so good to seeyou.
We're both doing well, and wepray you are too.
Wayne (07:57):
Hey, hey Delane, we are doing mighty fine.
Stacy (08:04):
You know, Wayne, one of the things we can talk about is
the fact that action shrinksfear.
Yeah.
That when we leap, when we movetoward the goal, toward the
aspiration, it will begin toconquer, to shrink the fear.
Wayne (08:29):
Yeah, there's something about the law of momentum,
Stacy.
You know, you build as you getmoving.
But if you're not moving,you're actually uh there's
really in in truth, you're nevertotally just the status quo is
never that you're you're deadstop, you're either growing or
(08:50):
declining.
And so, in terms of moving pastthat freeze potion part of
fear, you have to start gettingsome action, building momentum,
and you find that as you buildmomentum, the familiarity takes
you from that place of fear anddiscomfort into a more familiar
(09:10):
place where you now can feelmore comfortable.
Stacy (09:15):
I couldn't agree with you more.
Courage and confidence have incommon that they are attributes
that we all have, we just haveto exercise them.
And it is in that courage,right, that that we will
(09:37):
continue to move forward, but itis taking that step that makes
us even more courageous.
Wayne (09:46):
And so this concept about aligning yourself with today's
truth versus yesterday's story.
We all have stories, right?
We tell ourselves thesestories.
Most of the time, the storythat we tell ourselves uh is
outdated, we have outgrown it,and it's not speaking to our
(10:07):
current truth.
And so we're living in the pastand not aligning with our
today's truth.
Stacy (10:14):
Yes, yes, yes.
This is this is the time toalign with truth, today's truth,
right?
To be strong and courageous, asthe word says, and to really
think about um where that onearea that you've been hesitating
in or uh not moving forward in,uh, where that waiting has only
(10:41):
increased your doubt.
Oftimes, you know, Wayne, I'msure this happens with you and
clients, is that you know, youcan see that the waiting, that
the experience of thehesitation, the procrastination,
the consternation, where all ofthat is culminating in more
(11:05):
doubt, in even less confidence,in slower momentum because of
all of that inaction and and itsimpact.
Wayne (11:17):
Yeah.
Sometimes, Stacy, you talkedabout uh action shrinking fear.
Sometimes we it can besomething as simple as
purchasing the right outfit, andwe have to spend some money.
We are fearful of that moneyleaving us and we make the wrong
(11:40):
purchase.
And so, what we do is we goshopping and we go over and over
to the same place, we walkthrough the aisle, we look at
it, or we go somewhere else andwe come back, and there is this
trepidation about spending forthe fare that we're gonna have
buyers' remorse.
And that's a simple, simple uhuh example, but it's real as far
(12:05):
as when we take the action andwe just make the purchase,
either we are gonna return it ornot, but at least a decision
has made, and so we can settlewith the idea that we're moving
forward on a thing.
Stacy (12:22):
Yes, yes, now you made me want to go shopping.
I'm just saying, I'm justsaying, this is a real a real um
prompt encouragement for you,our listener, to begin to review
and to update yourself-concept, how you see
(12:45):
yourself, how you're thinkingabout yourself, and how as you
envision yourself in newsettings or taking those steps,
how your self-concept may beholding you back.
What do you say, Lane?
Wayne (13:02):
And I mentioned a little bit earlier the idea of aligning
with your today's truth, right,versus your past stories.
This is where you take a fullaccountability and assessment of
your strengths, where you arenow, and not be afraid to talk
about the opportunity ofbecoming even better, bigger,
(13:24):
bolder, because you're in theact of becoming.
For folk who, if you'relistening in and you have just
held back because you have notbeen able to, as we say, pull
the trigger and make a bolddecision because you're thinking
in the past, I have failed atthis or I wasn't good enough.
(13:45):
Let us put that aside and lookat where we are now, and better
yet, where we want to launch toand use that as a way of
incentivizing yourself to takeaction.
Stacy (13:59):
Yes, yes, yes, that really is shining a new light on
that self-concept.
I was listening this morning, Ibelieve it was, to uh uh an
intro or a preview of aninterview with Lionel Ritchie,
and you know, longtime musician,many accolades and awards and
(14:25):
everything.
And he talked about the impactof being shy his entire life, in
particular as a child, but howthat self-concept, right?
How that experience, while wedidn't see that on the stage or
(14:49):
hear that in the records, buthow that, yes, I said records,
but how that experience um wasbasically a label for him.
And sometime our outdatedself-concepts, right?
I'm not very creative, or youmentioned I'm too old.
(15:12):
Um, those self-concepts canreally become very confining.
And that was what hedemonstrated and talked a lot
about, you know, those theconfines of being shy and really
having to work through umrelabeling, so to speak, uh his
(15:35):
himself, or you know, changingout removing his outdated labels
for new labels.
Wayne (15:42):
Yeah, I forget where I heard it.
Thank you, Stacy.
That uh Lionel Ritchie, uh,wow, he's still out there doing
him, right?
It's beautiful.
Yes.
Always reinventing.
Actually, I've seen him on uhuh The Voice, and he looks like
Lionel Ritchie of yesteryear.
Right.
So you know, to your point, youknow, it's it's important that
(16:06):
we we act in a way that keeps usfresh by our self-concept, not
being held back with the idea ofum I can't go to college now
because I'm too old for that.
You know, it may it may be uhawkward to feel that you're in a
classroom where you could beeverybody's grand, but you just
(16:29):
need to get past that and keepthe your mind on the prize and
recognize that in the now you'reable to be who and do whatever
you will.
Stacy (16:41):
Yes, I I agree.
I think one way um to reallythink about or to explore your
self-concept, kind of whatyou're really thinking about
yourself or how you've labeledyourself is to write a short
letter to your younger self,acknowledging your growth.
(17:02):
Oftentimes we don't celebrateour successes, we don't
acknowledge our ownaccomplishments.
Um, and so sometimes writing itdown and you know, letting your
younger self know that I I'mnot that shy girl anymore.
I, you know, I'm not someonewith low self-esteem anymore, or
(17:23):
I'm not hesitating to pursue mydreams anymore.
This is how I'm moving forwardnow to remind yourself of who
you are now.
Wayne (17:36):
Absolutely, absolutely, and you can do that also.
Stacy (17:39):
Hello to Dia.
We want to say hello to Dia.
I just want to make sure we sayhello.
You know, we try to do a goodjob, Wayne.
Wayne (17:46):
Yeah, yeah.
I'm not looking on my thankyou.
I'm not looking on my LinkedIn,so I'm not sure uh who we have
joining us on LinkedIn, buthello to anyone and everyone
that's out there tuning in thisafternoon.
We absolutely, absolutely.
One of the other things that Ithink we could share is if when
(18:06):
we talk about taking action,leaping, so we can get to the
next side and get it done, isgiving ourselves permission to
be first.
Yes, and and you know, it'sfunny.
If I can share a quick personalstory, uh few years ago, uh one
of my young ones uh had agraduation, I think it may have
(18:29):
been Jared, and we were inVirginia, and so they set up
this family thing that we wereall gonna do rather than the
usual dinner.
We had the dinners, butsomething exciting.
So, me be the leader of theclan, uh they said, Let's go I
fly.
You know what I fly is, Stacy?
Stacy (18:51):
Is that where you are in some kind of building and you
basically end up be flying, kindof being blown up by air?
Is that right?
Wayne (19:01):
Yeah, yeah, it's this chamber with this uh this
simulated air, so that it's likejumping out of a plane at what
is it, 20,000 or 10,000?
I forget.
Okay, okay, okay.
It's about it's about 160 uhknots or or whatever they miles
per hour, whatever they measuredin, but it's a lot, it's air
that when you step into thechamber, right?
(19:23):
It's anti-gravity.
So as you step in, you're readyto take off, and so they put
you on, and all the gear, andyou know, the the visor, and so
when we were being going throughthe demonstration, the all the
kids and everybody else, theblended family were around, and
I was like, Yeah, I'm thecaptain, and then I'm looking at
(19:48):
everybody else, and I'm sayingto myself, dang, couldn't you?
I'm nervous, just likeeverybody.
Yeah, I don't want to show it.
I gotta, so I'm like, allright, giving them the chance,
let's go.
So we jumped online, and I waslike, I'll go first.
But Jared, my son, he hadalready been there.
So when he said that, I'll juststep up and make it happen
(20:11):
first.
I was just too happy.
So I was like number three onthe list, but I I performed and
made it happen.
And point I'm making is I couldhave sat back for a while and
made sure it was safe andwatched other people go and just
you know kept letting peopleskip the line and all that, but
I stepped up.
And once I did it the firsttime, I wound up doing it more
(20:33):
than everybody else.
I kept going back and back,couldn't stop me, man.
Stacy (20:36):
Yeah, that's a one is that's hilarious.
Thank you for sharing that withthe level of vulnerability.
We greatly appreciate that.
Um, what I think is sointeresting about reminding
ourselves of giving ourselvespermission to leap first, to go
first, is that one of the thingsthat I don't this has happened
(21:01):
to me, not only clients, but tome, one of the things that has
held me back was seeing whateveryone else is doing, right?
Seeing the way people arelaunching their business, seeing
the way women are talking aboutmidlife, right?
Seeing everything and hinderingor holding back giving myself
(21:27):
permission to move forwardbecause I'm either too busy
seeing, therefore, aka comparingmyself to the way, to the what,
to the how someone else isdoing something, um as opposed
to just doing it, doing it myway.
(21:48):
They're never gonna do it myway, right?
Because we're all individuals.
And so that giving myselfpermission to go first or to
just go is something that Iconstantly practice.
Stop looking at how others aredoing whatever it is you want to
(22:10):
do for permission.
Look to you for permission.
Wayne (22:17):
Look to you.
I love it.
And so the question you wouldask, instead of why, what if I
fail?
Say, what if I fly?
Stacy (22:26):
What if I fly?
Yeah, what if I fly?
I like that, Wayne.
What if I fly?
So, for our listener, where areyou?
Where in your life are youwaiting for permission that only
you can give?
It's it's happening to all ofus.
And you know, it happens morethan we'd like to pay attention
(22:47):
to.
So as you think about that nextaction that you want to take,
that aspiration, that new job,that new business, whatever that
aspiration or dream is, um,that promotion, right?
Where in your life are youwaiting for permission that only
you can give?
Wayne (23:08):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Stop watching the crowd.
Do you go Stacy?
Yeah.
Another point to I think we canshare is the idea of building a
bias toward taking action.
And uh, for example, sometimeswe have to just reframe, you
(23:31):
know, the entire process bytaking consistent actions.
We can rewire rewire ouridentity.
You know, I'm a person whomakes decisions, I'm a person
who is on the move.
And so we can sort of reframehow we've seen ourselves by
(23:51):
deliberating or being afraid tostart something or failing at
something, and just start takingaction and saying, hey, I'm the
kind of guy who makes ithappen.
Stacy (24:04):
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm I'm I'm one who takes astep, right?
I I take steps.
I I'm not the step may besmall, the step may, you know,
have had a little concern behindit, but I take a step, and it's
(24:24):
in the direction of my dream,of my aspiration, of my uh next
goal.
And so that tiny action, whenturned into tiny consistent
action, really does have power.
And so I love this build a biastoward action.
(24:47):
Um, because it, if we're reallyjust focused on, okay, action,
not, you know, it doesn't haveto be the home, the home run.
Uh still baseball season, itdoesn't have to be the home run.
It can, it can be the swing, itcan be stepping up to the
plate.
So let's tiny step,medium-sized step, big step,
(25:08):
let's have that bias towardaction.
Wayne (25:11):
And say, you don't have to take fast action, taking that
leap as reckless behavior,right?
Right.
You can see it as trust inmotion.
Stacy (25:23):
That's good.
Trust in motion.
Yes, trusting yourself, yourability to make decisions, your
ability to take action, trust inmotion.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Stay on the case.
Wayne (25:39):
Yeah, some of us go ahead.
Uh huh.
In the green room, you weretalking about the biblical
reference, Peter.
Want to share that?
Stacy (25:47):
Sure.
I, you know, I think the thingabout Peter, right, is that we
are all uh reading the scriptureand and none of us were there,
clearly.
Uh, but we always think aboutthe fact that Peter he took
action, he took a step, and heexercised his faith, right?
So he stepped out on the water.
(26:09):
And the c that's where thecourage happened, right?
He I'm I imagine, I don't knowif you ever imagined this this
biblical story, but you know, Iimagine that that was where the
real courage was needed, wasactually taking the step out,
(26:30):
right?
Once, once he got out there,he, you know, if he was focused
on Christ, he was he was doingall right.
And then he looked around andhe looked down and then he
started to go down, you know,but he took the step.
He tied it, was it is the stepsare tied to our faith in who we
are and what we've been givenand who our creator has made us
(26:53):
to be, and that our creator isstill with us, moving forward
with us, sending us in the rightdirection.
Wayne (27:02):
That is such a powerful metaphor, Stacy.
Um, because when you thinkabout what happened with Peter
as he stepped out on the waterand then brought up Mr.
Doubt.
Stacy (27:17):
With Mr.
Wayne (27:18):
Doubt, you know, started going down, right?
Mm-hmm.
How often do we know a thing,not believe a thing, we know a
thing.
Oh, you know, it's a divinecalling.
There's an environment, there'sthis resonance, the vibrations,
the energy tells you this isit.
But we're looking around, andperhaps other people who don't
(27:42):
know that thing, like you, andhave not been called to do the
thing, may not have takenaction.
And what do we do?
We small up ourselves, right?
And so we don't step out thereon faith knowing that thing, and
we sink.
Stacy (27:59):
Yes, yes, yes.
We small up ourselves.
I love it when you say that,because that is the truth, and
we're talking about takingbuilding, really, building a
bias toward action.
And in the building, we knowthat it might not necessarily be
your immediate nature, it maynot be innate for you.
(28:23):
That's why you build the biastoward action, and you have to
remind yourself that each step Itake is a declaration of trust
in my future.
Wayne (28:36):
Stacey, what about before we go?
Just closing up with somereflections and some uh
highlights, as it were,recapping.
I would say, remember thataction shrinks fear.
What else we got for them,Stacy?
Stacy (28:54):
Yes, indeed.
I think that one is truly uhworth repeating.
Action shrinks fear.
We also have that it's a goodtime to update yourself concept
because updating self-conceptbegins to clear the way for you
to give yourself permission.
Wayne (29:14):
And I third one, we're gonna just give you three to
hold on to.
Number three is give yourselfpermission.
Stacy (29:20):
Get out of your own way, get out of your own way.
Yeah, you know, Wayne and I arehere as coaches, we are
encouraging you um to make anote of what leap might be
waiting for you right now.
And Wayne, I think that youwould agree with me as I say
(29:42):
this.
Um, but if you are a brotherout there and you're ready to
stop circling around the ideaabout moving forward, I believe
that Wayne would like to talk toyou.
He's there for you.
Love to connect.
What is that, Wayne?
Wayne (30:00):
Absolutely.
Give your bro a ding ding,right?
Just just get up in the DM andlet me know that you'd like to
connect and we'll make ithappen.
Listen, no charge to justhaving that discovery call.
30 minutes, and it could changeyour entire life.
Stacy (30:18):
Yeah, yeah, you're absolutely right.
And I will echo that uh for mymidlife sisters out there, you
know, this it's your time toshine.
And so all of those uh mentalroadblocks and all of those
myths about it being too late orus possibly being too old, we
(30:43):
want to conquer those littlegiants and squash them like
ants.
So if you are interested in aconnecting conversation, you can
connect with me on the socialsthat you are now streaming us
through, as well as uh you'rewelcome to visit my website at
(31:04):
thesacymlewis.com.
Sir Wayne, any takeaways orthat you like to be.
Wayne (31:14):
I want to do uh send a little homework, so to speak,
assignments, some to do.
We sort of touched on some ofthe takeaways earlier.
And I would say to folks, do aself-check, a self-concept
check.
And that is to, I mean, you canjust who am I?
And and and and do that in areal way, you know, look in the
(31:38):
mirror and ask that question.
If I understand that uh if youdo this long enough, you start
feeling an answer coming fromwithin, not without.
And so do that self-check.
Stacy (31:51):
Yeah, I I like the self-check, the self-concept
check.
I will uh meet or match thatself-concept check, and I will
add to it uh the leap firstchallenge, right?
Uh what's one action you cantake within the next 24 hours to
move in the direction that youwant to go?
(32:13):
Not consternate, notprocrastinate, but to move.
That's what we're saying.
It's your time.
It is your time.
You don't need to be fearless,you just need to leap.
Stacey, that's a wrap today.
We want to thank you forjoining us at the Midlife
(32:33):
Revolution Unleashed.
It has been our joy, and wewish you the very best.
I am cheering you on.
Wayne (32:44):
And I'll see you at the top.
Stacy (32:48):
Thanks for tuning in to Midlife Revolution Unleashed.
We're grateful you're part ofthis journey.
Wayne (32:53):
If you love this episode, share it, subscribe, and hit
that notification bell so youdon't miss another episode.
Stacy (33:00):
I'm Coach Stacy and I'm cheering you on.
Wayne (33:03):
And I'm Coach Wayne, and I'll see you at the top.
Have you ever sat on the edge of a decision so long that
fear got louder than your faith?
In midlife, hesitation canbecome our default.
But what if the very act ofleaping first is what shrinks
the fear?
Today we're talking aboutgranting yourself permission to
(00:24):
act before you are fully ready.
You found the midliferevolution unleashed the space
to embrace your wisdom, reigniteyour passions, and move boldly
into what's next.
I am Coach Wayne, the VIPcoach.
Stacy (00:44):
And I'm Coach Stacy M.
Lewis.
We're here with insights,stories, and strategies to fuel
your midlife journey.
So take a breath, lean in.
Your revolution starts now.
Good day! In this episode ofMidlife Revolution Unleashed,
(01:07):
we'll explore how to overcomethat self-doubt.
Stop waiting for perfect timingand start granting yourself
permission to move forward.
Whether that's in your career,your business, your
relationships, or your personalgrowth.
Welcome to Midlife RevolutionUnleashed.
I am your co-host, Stacey M.
(01:29):
Lewis.
I'm a nonprofit executive, amidlife women's coach, and a
lover of God and his people.
And I'm joined by the one andonly VIP transformative coach,
Coach Wayne.
Woo woo! We need some soundeffects.
Woo!
Wayne (01:49):
Yes, sir.
Thank you, Stacy.
I'm your man, the one and only,the VIP coach, Coach Wayne.
I help men in midlife movethrough so that their second
half can be their best half.
Stacy, ready for quite astimulation in terms of a
(02:11):
conversation where we can pumpsome energy into our folks?
Stacy (02:14):
Absolutely, and really remind ourselves of the gift of
our own permission, right?
And our opportunities toovercome self-doubt and to move
forward.
So we're gonna talk aboutredefining readiness, why
confidence comes after the leap.
(02:35):
What say you, Sir Wayne?
Wayne (02:37):
What leap, Stacey?
You know, I heard often as akid about caution, and you may
have heard it too.
And the thing that we probablyheard was look before you leap.
And sometimes we take that, ofcourse, you know, there is
warning for all of us to becautious before we take action.
(03:00):
But if you take that veryliterally, sometimes it on it's
the undoing of you in terms ofgetting ahead.
Would you agree, Stacy?
Stacy (03:09):
You're absolutely right.
Uh, I think that's one of theuh concepts sometimes that
really impacts our self-concept,right?
Yes, you are to look before youleap, right?
We're not uh really suggestingjust taking high risks without
no consideration.
Um, but how long will you look?
(03:32):
Will you look to ascertain theimmediate information that you
need before you take the leap?
Or will you look to gather theimmediate information, gather
the long-term information, lookdown next week's road, look back
two weeks later or earlier, andthen find yourself saying, I'm
(03:59):
still in the same place.
Wayne (04:01):
Yeah.
Stacy, I was taught by awonderful gentleman who is very
successful by all measures thatsuccess likes decision.
And this decision to act isvery important.
Very often, we waste a lot ofenergy and time by deliberating
(04:21):
and procrastination.
How is that, you may ask?
I'm happy to tell you.
When we sit around and we'reweighing the facts, as it were,
we're gathering moreinformation, we're going out and
getting more, and we'recomparing and we're continuing
to do this.
That's tiring.
And that's a lot of time spentwhen, in fact, most of us have
(04:46):
the information we need to justmake a wise or informed
decision.
Stacy (04:53):
I love that adage, and I will add that self-doubt feeds
on hesitation, right?
So the longer we wait orhesitate or procrastinate, as
you said, um, the more we doubtthe action, the next step that
(05:20):
we were planning to take.
And so that waiting, in thatwaiting, uh, we not only develop
that self-doubt, but it alsotakes a lot of energy to wait
and deliberate andprocrastinate.
All of that requires energy,and that's energy that we could
(05:42):
be leaping with.
Wayne (05:44):
And here's a question that as midlifers, we're often
uh encountering and dealingwith.
And it's this question that weask ourselves Am I too late?
Am I too late?
You know, is there is it worthdoing it because I'm at midlife?
And that self-doubt, when welook at our self-concept as a
(06:08):
midlifer, is one of the thingsthat we gotta get out of the way
so that we can take a chanceand take the leap.
Stacy (06:18):
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
I agree with you that.
This is the time.
Wayne (06:54):
Yeah.
And so I would leave folk withthis this one thing as an
affirmation.
Let us start saying, I am notthe person of yesteryear, I am
the person of the becoming.
So who you are now and whoyou're growing into is what you
ought to use to determine yourability to make a difference,
(07:18):
move forward, take the leap.
Stacy (07:20):
I agree.
And the I'm not the person ofyesteryear also can be coupled
with, and that's a good thing,right?
Because you've learned so much,you've grown so much, you've
gleaned so much uh in duringyour yesteryear days, right?
That now you really are moreready than you ever were.
(07:46):
Let's let's take a little pauseand say hello to Delaine.
It is always so good to seeyou.
We're both doing well, and wepray you are too.
Wayne (07:57):
Hey, hey Delane, we are doing mighty fine.
Stacy (08:04):
You know, Wayne, one of the things we can talk about is
the fact that action shrinksfear.
Yeah.
That when we leap, when we movetoward the goal, toward the
aspiration, it will begin toconquer, to shrink the fear.
Wayne (08:29):
Yeah, there's something about the law of momentum,
Stacy.
You know, you build as you getmoving.
But if you're not moving,you're actually uh there's
really in in truth, you're nevertotally just the status quo is
never that you're you're deadstop, you're either growing or
(08:50):
declining.
And so, in terms of moving pastthat freeze potion part of
fear, you have to start gettingsome action, building momentum,
and you find that as you buildmomentum, the familiarity takes
you from that place of fear anddiscomfort into a more familiar
(09:10):
place where you now can feelmore comfortable.
Stacy (09:15):
I couldn't agree with you more.
Courage and confidence have incommon that they are attributes
that we all have, we just haveto exercise them.
And it is in that courage,right, that that we will
(09:37):
continue to move forward, but itis taking that step that makes
us even more courageous.
Wayne (09:46):
And so this concept about aligning yourself with today's
truth versus yesterday's story.
We all have stories, right?
We tell ourselves thesestories.
Most of the time, the storythat we tell ourselves uh is
outdated, we have outgrown it,and it's not speaking to our
(10:07):
current truth.
And so we're living in the pastand not aligning with our
today's truth.
Stacy (10:14):
Yes, yes, yes.
This is this is the time toalign with truth, today's truth,
right?
To be strong and courageous, asthe word says, and to really
think about um where that onearea that you've been hesitating
in or uh not moving forward in,uh, where that waiting has only
(10:41):
increased your doubt.
Oftimes, you know, Wayne, I'msure this happens with you and
clients, is that you know, youcan see that the waiting, that
the experience of thehesitation, the procrastination,
the consternation, where all ofthat is culminating in more
(11:05):
doubt, in even less confidence,in slower momentum because of
all of that inaction and and itsimpact.
Wayne (11:17):
Yeah.
Sometimes, Stacy, you talkedabout uh action shrinking fear.
Sometimes we it can besomething as simple as
purchasing the right outfit, andwe have to spend some money.
We are fearful of that moneyleaving us and we make the wrong
(11:40):
purchase.
And so, what we do is we goshopping and we go over and over
to the same place, we walkthrough the aisle, we look at
it, or we go somewhere else andwe come back, and there is this
trepidation about spending forthe fare that we're gonna have
buyers' remorse.
And that's a simple, simple uhuh example, but it's real as far
(12:05):
as when we take the action andwe just make the purchase,
either we are gonna return it ornot, but at least a decision
has made, and so we can settlewith the idea that we're moving
forward on a thing.
Stacy (12:22):
Yes, yes, now you made me want to go shopping.
I'm just saying, I'm justsaying, this is a real a real um
prompt encouragement for you,our listener, to begin to review
and to update yourself-concept, how you see
(12:45):
yourself, how you're thinkingabout yourself, and how as you
envision yourself in newsettings or taking those steps,
how your self-concept may beholding you back.
What do you say, Lane?
Wayne (13:02):
And I mentioned a little bit earlier the idea of aligning
with your today's truth, right,versus your past stories.
This is where you take a fullaccountability and assessment of
your strengths, where you arenow, and not be afraid to talk
about the opportunity ofbecoming even better, bigger,
(13:24):
bolder, because you're in theact of becoming.
For folk who, if you'relistening in and you have just
held back because you have notbeen able to, as we say, pull
the trigger and make a bolddecision because you're thinking
in the past, I have failed atthis or I wasn't good enough.
(13:45):
Let us put that aside and lookat where we are now, and better
yet, where we want to launch toand use that as a way of
incentivizing yourself to takeaction.
Stacy (13:59):
Yes, yes, yes, that really is shining a new light on
that self-concept.
I was listening this morning, Ibelieve it was, to uh uh an
intro or a preview of aninterview with Lionel Ritchie,
and you know, longtime musician,many accolades and awards and
(14:25):
everything.
And he talked about the impactof being shy his entire life, in
particular as a child, but howthat self-concept, right?
How that experience, while wedidn't see that on the stage or
(14:49):
hear that in the records, buthow that, yes, I said records,
but how that experience um wasbasically a label for him.
And sometime our outdatedself-concepts, right?
I'm not very creative, or youmentioned I'm too old.
(15:12):
Um, those self-concepts canreally become very confining.
And that was what hedemonstrated and talked a lot
about, you know, those theconfines of being shy and really
having to work through umrelabeling, so to speak, uh his
(15:35):
himself, or you know, changingout removing his outdated labels
for new labels.
Wayne (15:42):
Yeah, I forget where I heard it.
Thank you, Stacy.
That uh Lionel Ritchie, uh,wow, he's still out there doing
him, right?
It's beautiful.
Yes.
Always reinventing.
Actually, I've seen him on uhuh The Voice, and he looks like
Lionel Ritchie of yesteryear.
Right.
So you know, to your point, youknow, it's it's important that
(16:06):
we we act in a way that keeps usfresh by our self-concept, not
being held back with the idea ofum I can't go to college now
because I'm too old for that.
You know, it may it may be uhawkward to feel that you're in a
classroom where you could beeverybody's grand, but you just
(16:29):
need to get past that and keepthe your mind on the prize and
recognize that in the now you'reable to be who and do whatever
you will.
Stacy (16:41):
Yes, I I agree.
I think one way um to reallythink about or to explore your
self-concept, kind of whatyou're really thinking about
yourself or how you've labeledyourself is to write a short
letter to your younger self,acknowledging your growth.
(17:02):
Oftentimes we don't celebrateour successes, we don't
acknowledge our ownaccomplishments.
Um, and so sometimes writing itdown and you know, letting your
younger self know that I I'mnot that shy girl anymore.
I, you know, I'm not someonewith low self-esteem anymore, or
(17:23):
I'm not hesitating to pursue mydreams anymore.
This is how I'm moving forwardnow to remind yourself of who
you are now.
Wayne (17:36):
Absolutely, absolutely, and you can do that also.
Stacy (17:39):
Hello to Dia.
We want to say hello to Dia.
I just want to make sure we sayhello.
You know, we try to do a goodjob, Wayne.
Wayne (17:46):
Yeah, yeah.
I'm not looking on my thankyou.
I'm not looking on my LinkedIn,so I'm not sure uh who we have
joining us on LinkedIn, buthello to anyone and everyone
that's out there tuning in thisafternoon.
We absolutely, absolutely.
One of the other things that Ithink we could share is if when
(18:06):
we talk about taking action,leaping, so we can get to the
next side and get it done, isgiving ourselves permission to
be first.
Yes, and and you know, it'sfunny.
If I can share a quick personalstory, uh few years ago, uh one
of my young ones uh had agraduation, I think it may have
(18:29):
been Jared, and we were inVirginia, and so they set up
this family thing that we wereall gonna do rather than the
usual dinner.
We had the dinners, butsomething exciting.
So, me be the leader of theclan, uh they said, Let's go I
fly.
You know what I fly is, Stacy?
Stacy (18:51):
Is that where you are in some kind of building and you
basically end up be flying, kindof being blown up by air?
Is that right?
Wayne (19:01):
Yeah, yeah, it's this chamber with this uh this
simulated air, so that it's likejumping out of a plane at what
is it, 20,000 or 10,000?
I forget.
Okay, okay, okay.
It's about it's about 160 uhknots or or whatever they miles
per hour, whatever they measuredin, but it's a lot, it's air
that when you step into thechamber, right?
(19:23):
It's anti-gravity.
So as you step in, you're readyto take off, and so they put
you on, and all the gear, andyou know, the the visor, and so
when we were being going throughthe demonstration, the all the
kids and everybody else, theblended family were around, and
I was like, Yeah, I'm thecaptain, and then I'm looking at
(19:48):
everybody else, and I'm sayingto myself, dang, couldn't you?
I'm nervous, just likeeverybody.
Yeah, I don't want to show it.
I gotta, so I'm like, allright, giving them the chance,
let's go.
So we jumped online, and I waslike, I'll go first.
But Jared, my son, he hadalready been there.
So when he said that, I'll juststep up and make it happen
(20:11):
first.
I was just too happy.
So I was like number three onthe list, but I I performed and
made it happen.
And point I'm making is I couldhave sat back for a while and
made sure it was safe andwatched other people go and just
you know kept letting peopleskip the line and all that, but
I stepped up.
And once I did it the firsttime, I wound up doing it more
(20:33):
than everybody else.
I kept going back and back,couldn't stop me, man.
Stacy (20:36):
Yeah, that's a one is that's hilarious.
Thank you for sharing that withthe level of vulnerability.
We greatly appreciate that.
Um, what I think is sointeresting about reminding
ourselves of giving ourselvespermission to leap first, to go
first, is that one of the thingsthat I don't this has happened
(21:01):
to me, not only clients, but tome, one of the things that has
held me back was seeing whateveryone else is doing, right?
Seeing the way people arelaunching their business, seeing
the way women are talking aboutmidlife, right?
Seeing everything and hinderingor holding back giving myself
(21:27):
permission to move forwardbecause I'm either too busy
seeing, therefore, aka comparingmyself to the way, to the what,
to the how someone else isdoing something, um as opposed
to just doing it, doing it myway.
(21:48):
They're never gonna do it myway, right?
Because we're all individuals.
And so that giving myselfpermission to go first or to
just go is something that Iconstantly practice.
Stop looking at how others aredoing whatever it is you want to
(22:10):
do for permission.
Look to you for permission.
Wayne (22:17):
Look to you.
I love it.
And so the question you wouldask, instead of why, what if I
fail?
Say, what if I fly?
Stacy (22:26):
What if I fly?
Yeah, what if I fly?
I like that, Wayne.
What if I fly?
So, for our listener, where areyou?
Where in your life are youwaiting for permission that only
you can give?
It's it's happening to all ofus.
And you know, it happens morethan we'd like to pay attention
(22:47):
to.
So as you think about that nextaction that you want to take,
that aspiration, that new job,that new business, whatever that
aspiration or dream is, um,that promotion, right?
Where in your life are youwaiting for permission that only
you can give?
Wayne (23:08):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Stop watching the crowd.
Do you go Stacy?
Yeah.
Another point to I think we canshare is the idea of building a
bias toward taking action.
And uh, for example, sometimeswe have to just reframe, you
(23:31):
know, the entire process bytaking consistent actions.
We can rewire rewire ouridentity.
You know, I'm a person whomakes decisions, I'm a person
who is on the move.
And so we can sort of reframehow we've seen ourselves by
(23:51):
deliberating or being afraid tostart something or failing at
something, and just start takingaction and saying, hey, I'm the
kind of guy who makes ithappen.
Stacy (24:04):
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm I'm I'm one who takes astep, right?
I I take steps.
I I'm not the step may besmall, the step may, you know,
have had a little concern behindit, but I take a step, and it's
(24:24):
in the direction of my dream,of my aspiration, of my uh next
goal.
And so that tiny action, whenturned into tiny consistent
action, really does have power.
And so I love this build a biastoward action.
(24:47):
Um, because it, if we're reallyjust focused on, okay, action,
not, you know, it doesn't haveto be the home, the home run.
Uh still baseball season, itdoesn't have to be the home run.
It can, it can be the swing, itcan be stepping up to the
plate.
So let's tiny step,medium-sized step, big step,
(25:08):
let's have that bias towardaction.
Wayne (25:11):
And say, you don't have to take fast action, taking that
leap as reckless behavior,right?
Right.
You can see it as trust inmotion.
Stacy (25:23):
That's good.
Trust in motion.
Yes, trusting yourself, yourability to make decisions, your
ability to take action, trust inmotion.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Stay on the case.
Wayne (25:39):
Yeah, some of us go ahead.
Uh huh.
In the green room, you weretalking about the biblical
reference, Peter.
Want to share that?
Stacy (25:47):
Sure.
I, you know, I think the thingabout Peter, right, is that we
are all uh reading the scriptureand and none of us were there,
clearly.
Uh, but we always think aboutthe fact that Peter he took
action, he took a step, and heexercised his faith, right?
So he stepped out on the water.
(26:09):
And the c that's where thecourage happened, right?
He I'm I imagine, I don't knowif you ever imagined this this
biblical story, but you know, Iimagine that that was where the
real courage was needed, wasactually taking the step out,
(26:30):
right?
Once, once he got out there,he, you know, if he was focused
on Christ, he was he was doingall right.
And then he looked around andhe looked down and then he
started to go down, you know,but he took the step.
He tied it, was it is the stepsare tied to our faith in who we
are and what we've been givenand who our creator has made us
(26:53):
to be, and that our creator isstill with us, moving forward
with us, sending us in the rightdirection.
Wayne (27:02):
That is such a powerful metaphor, Stacy.
Um, because when you thinkabout what happened with Peter
as he stepped out on the waterand then brought up Mr.
Doubt.
Stacy (27:17):
With Mr.
Wayne (27:18):
Doubt, you know, started going down, right?
Mm-hmm.
How often do we know a thing,not believe a thing, we know a
thing.
Oh, you know, it's a divinecalling.
There's an environment, there'sthis resonance, the vibrations,
the energy tells you this isit.
But we're looking around, andperhaps other people who don't
(27:42):
know that thing, like you, andhave not been called to do the
thing, may not have takenaction.
And what do we do?
We small up ourselves, right?
And so we don't step out thereon faith knowing that thing, and
we sink.
Stacy (27:59):
Yes, yes, yes.
We small up ourselves.
I love it when you say that,because that is the truth, and
we're talking about takingbuilding, really, building a
bias toward action.
And in the building, we knowthat it might not necessarily be
your immediate nature, it maynot be innate for you.
(28:23):
That's why you build the biastoward action, and you have to
remind yourself that each step Itake is a declaration of trust
in my future.
Wayne (28:36):
Stacey, what about before we go?
Just closing up with somereflections and some uh
highlights, as it were,recapping.
I would say, remember thataction shrinks fear.
What else we got for them,Stacy?
Stacy (28:54):
Yes, indeed.
I think that one is truly uhworth repeating.
Action shrinks fear.
We also have that it's a goodtime to update yourself concept
because updating self-conceptbegins to clear the way for you
to give yourself permission.
Wayne (29:14):
And I third one, we're gonna just give you three to
hold on to.
Number three is give yourselfpermission.
Stacy (29:20):
Get out of your own way, get out of your own way.
Yeah, you know, Wayne and I arehere as coaches, we are
encouraging you um to make anote of what leap might be
waiting for you right now.
And Wayne, I think that youwould agree with me as I say
(29:42):
this.
Um, but if you are a brotherout there and you're ready to
stop circling around the ideaabout moving forward, I believe
that Wayne would like to talk toyou.
He's there for you.
Love to connect.
What is that, Wayne?
Wayne (30:00):
Absolutely.
Give your bro a ding ding,right?
Just just get up in the DM andlet me know that you'd like to
connect and we'll make ithappen.
Listen, no charge to justhaving that discovery call.
30 minutes, and it could changeyour entire life.
Stacy (30:18):
Yeah, yeah, you're absolutely right.
And I will echo that uh for mymidlife sisters out there, you
know, this it's your time toshine.
And so all of those uh mentalroadblocks and all of those
myths about it being too late orus possibly being too old, we
(30:43):
want to conquer those littlegiants and squash them like
ants.
So if you are interested in aconnecting conversation, you can
connect with me on the socialsthat you are now streaming us
through, as well as uh you'rewelcome to visit my website at
(31:04):
thesacymlewis.com.
Sir Wayne, any takeaways orthat you like to be.
Wayne (31:14):
I want to do uh send a little homework, so to speak,
assignments, some to do.
We sort of touched on some ofthe takeaways earlier.
And I would say to folks, do aself-check, a self-concept
check.
And that is to, I mean, you canjust who am I?
And and and and do that in areal way, you know, look in the
(31:38):
mirror and ask that question.
If I understand that uh if youdo this long enough, you start
feeling an answer coming fromwithin, not without.
And so do that self-check.
Stacy (31:51):
Yeah, I I like the self-check, the self-concept
check.
I will uh meet or match thatself-concept check, and I will
add to it uh the leap firstchallenge, right?
Uh what's one action you cantake within the next 24 hours to
move in the direction that youwant to go?
(32:13):
Not consternate, notprocrastinate, but to move.
That's what we're saying.
It's your time.
It is your time.
You don't need to be fearless,you just need to leap.
Stacey, that's a wrap today.
We want to thank you forjoining us at the Midlife
(32:33):
Revolution Unleashed.
It has been our joy, and wewish you the very best.
I am cheering you on.
Wayne (32:44):
And I'll see you at the top.
Stacy (32:48):
Thanks for tuning in to Midlife Revolution Unleashed.
We're grateful you're part ofthis journey.
Wayne (32:53):
If you love this episode, share it, subscribe, and hit
that notification bell so youdon't miss another episode.
Stacy (33:00):
I'm Coach Stacy and I'm cheering you on.
Wayne (33:03):
And I'm Coach Wayne, and I'll see you at the top.
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