January 17, 2025 • 36 mins
"Mike 1 and ChatGPT test their poetic prowess, crafting verses for Mike A to guess who wrote what. From heartfelt to hilarious, this episode proves that creativity knows no bounds—human or AI!"
A little presumptuous and scary but thanks, ChatGPT!
Music in this episode:
Bongo Madness by Quincas Moreira
Drums by Andrew Faid from Pixabay
My Heart Bleeds for Africa by Kondwani from Pixabay
Welcome to the Jungle by Cosmic_os_studios from Pixabay
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
In a world full of fear and sometimes loathing of unfathomable technological advancements,
(00:09):
there stands one human hero.
I'm a maroon!
This is the Chronicle of Mike vs. The Machine.
Alright, so welcome back everybody.
(00:31):
Um, Mike, please stop having sex with ChatGPT.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Don't tell me what to do.
Please stop.
Please.
It's... no, no.
You have a problem.
But, I mean, how dare you make this incredibly offensive accusation?
You have literally not...
How do I word this?
Mike, I walked in here and there's lube all over the ports on your computer.
(00:54):
Okay, you don't want the room to be shiny.
Doesn't it make it feel more classy and professional when the room is shiny?
Folks, for you or those at home, please vote to have Mike stop having sex with ChatGPT.
No, no, no, no, no.
That's not on the ballot.
We have the presidents and stuff and then we've got like the senators and the...
(01:14):
Okay, okay.
Representatives.
Okay, we're getting off topic and...
Yeah, we are!
We are!
Because you want to judge me for things that you don't even know have happened.
You are just...
You know what?
This is not classy.
You know what is classy?
What's classy?
Poetry.
Oh, fuck yes.
I love poetry.
Well, who's your favorite poet?
(01:35):
Oh, God.
I don't know really any names.
I just know I like watching a lot of like slam poetry videos and people that go up and...
What about Def Jam?
Oh, Def Jam's awesome.
That's pretty sick.
Yeah, no, I have to get very like white girl answers.
No offense to white girls.
But I'm like, oh, Poet's pretty good stuff.
Oh, yeah, Poet's very good stuff.
Then you got like Robert Frost.
(01:57):
Yeah.
And then there was...
Oh, there was that Dream Deferred one that was pretty cool.
I forget who that was.
I don't know.
I don't know.
But you know, it's true though.
Dream Denied is a Dream Deferred.
Yeah, it's true.
Dream Deferred is a Dream Denied.
Yeah, that was it.
Anyway, poetry is fun.
The earliest poetry is believed to have been recited or sung, employed as a way of remembering
(02:19):
oral history, genealogy, and law closely related to musical traditions and apparently predates
literacy.
Oh, yeah.
I mean...
So that's fun.
Words definitely...
Yeah.
...predate everything.
Well...
Yeah, like, you know there was a caveman somewhere.
Yeah.
And as he was using his rock to hit the other rock because some guy hired him to hit rock
(02:43):
with rock.
Yeah.
While he was doing that, he was singing a little tune.
Probably about murdering his boss.
But you know, that's a tale as old as time.
Yeah.
You think it wants something like this?
Yeah, I mean, more than likely.
Yeah, but that would do, bitch.
Yeah, so what do you think...
Have you heard of this?
I want to know.
Because I thought when I read this, it was interesting.
The oldest surviving speculative fiction poem.
Ooh.
The Tale of the Shipwrecked Sailor.
No.
Doesn't that sound familiar?
(03:03):
It does sound familiar, but I'm not sure.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
It does sound familiar, but I am intrigued.
Yeah, it's like a Greek.
It comes from like a Greek epic.
Oh, so it's kind of like Homer.
Or a Greek thing, yeah.
(03:24):
Yeah, but it comes from 2500 BC.
Nice.
And then the oldest surviving epic poem is from, oh, the third millennium BC, so that's
a similar time frame.
Is it technically like the Odyssey and Iliad?
Aren't those two...
Yeah, no, down here.
Other ancient epics include the Iliad and the Odyssey, yeah.
But that oldest one is the Epic of Gilgamesh.
(03:46):
Oh, yes.
Celtic hero, Gilgamesh.
No, no, no, no.
He wasn't Celtic.
He's from Iraq.
Well, that's something that got screwed up in my...
In your head?
Well, no.
I mean, I know Gilgamesh from Final Fantasy games, so I mean, it really makes sense.
I took a mythology class in high school, and for some reason, somebody thought Gilgamesh
(04:08):
was Celtic.
I mean, honestly, I think that is one of the mythical traditions that does repeat itself
through history.
I know the story of Finn McCool and the Demon Baller.
I know, but Chester Cheetah or the Cool Spot.
I don't know.
When you said that, it just reminded me of those two Super Nintendo games.
(04:29):
So, yeah.
Anyway, why in the hell am I talking about poetry?
I don't know.
Why in the hell are you talking about poetry?
Well, here's the thing.
I propose a game for you today.
Here we go.
And our buddy here, ChatGBT, is going to be involved.
I said our.
We have collective possessions, collective friends, and collective loved ones.
(04:54):
I almost said lovers, but that's not true.
Nah, me too.
Freudian slip.
So, anyway, I propose a game.
I mean, I say I propose.
I mean, we're going to do it because I've already done all the prep work.
So, I had ChatGBT.
First, it picked out five funny little premises for short form poetry, and it wrote a poem
(05:18):
for each.
Don't look at my screen.
I'm not.
And then I wrote a poem without looking at those poems fully.
And you're going to tell me which one was written by me and which one by AI.
So there are also two other poems that are it's a as I quoted it as a sad poem.
(05:41):
And the other one is a it's sad, but more morose.
Something like that.
And here's a couple of things that kind of lean toward more of what poetry normally is,
which is like people sadly meandering through philosophy.
That should make it a little bit easier on me.
OK, so maybe that'll be a little bit of an advantage for me because I don't know if ChatGBT
(06:03):
understands humor.
Yeah.
And then you also said that you'd be able to tell ChatGBT in mind based on sadness.
And ChatGBT is literally being fed the Internet, which is full and it's filtering and ChatGBT
filters out most of the hate.
So instead, what you're left with is well, and also filters out, I would assume, the
(06:25):
horniness.
So if you filter out the horniness and the hate, it's mostly just people yelling about
either being happy or sad.
So you know, OK, well, with that aside, we're going to get into the poetry.
Now, I will ask you, Michael, do you want to start with a sad or a wacky?
(06:45):
Let's get the sad out of the way.
Let's get the sad out of the way so we can make the rest of the episode, you know, happy,
jovial, funny, because people listen to us to brighten up their day.
Not to try to dry it, dry themselves off a cliff.
I mean, we'll see how that goes.
Depending on how you like the sound of our voice, you might have already done it.
You've already driven off in the magma already to dry them.
(07:08):
And if we've done that, we're sorry.
I mean, I'm not like that was that that was a choice of their own volition.
They didn't do it out of sadness.
They did it out of hatred for us.
Can you have just a little bit of a conscience for that?
No, I have a conscience.
If you're sad, get on a pill like I have.
I love Prozac.
It's the best.
Or start getting get some therapy or just masturbating a lot.
(07:30):
That'll also really help your mood.
But if you consciously choose to drive your car off a cliff because you don't like the
sound of two people of two people's voices, two two heterosexual cis males who just won't
shut up, that's their choice.
Anyway, don't don't unalive yourself.
That's sad.
Get some help.
(07:50):
Anyway, poetry.
So
here is one.
It's called The Sad One.
Is that serious?
Yeah, these two are both called The Sad One.
Within fleeting desperate times, thoughts pass quickly.
A melancholy climbs.
(08:13):
Nothing is certain.
All is lost.
Prayers unanswered.
Our sanity the cost.
So that's one.
All right.
Now, here's the other.
In shadows deep, the silence grows.
Fading light as hollow hearts conceal their woes.
(08:35):
We drift through days.
Our minds adrift empty streets and search for meaning lost and swift.
What was the title of that one?
The Sad One.
They're all.
Both of our versions are called the same thing.
All right.
So the first poem sounded like a depressed 14 year old just being a depressed 14 year
(09:00):
old and, you know, getting dealing with the emotions, the hormones and the parents who
understand me.
And, you know, the same shit we all went through.
Second one had a little more weight to it.
It had a little more earthiness to it.
It had a little bit more of a sort of a renaissance, you know, old timey Robin Hood esque, you
(09:25):
know, with the with the wording.
It's what it sounded like to me.
What was that era called again?
I mean, there was, I guess they call it the Crusade era, I guess.
I mean, there was the Renaissance.
Well, yes, there was the Renaissance.
So I'm just going to say about the Renaissance.
So I had to pick.
Well, first, also tell me which one is your favorite.
And then tell me which one you think is mine.
(09:46):
The second one is definitely my second one is your guess is your favorite.
Yes.
When did I write the second one?
We're not getting off to a good start here.
You've got to be shitting me.
The second one was Jack G.P.C.
God damn it.
Now I did have to tap into your inner 14 year old.
I mean, yeah, that's when I started writing poetry.
Like you figure I wrote what six.
(10:07):
Yeah, I wrote seven poems today in the span of one day.
Yeah, like I have practice.
Yeah, like actually, no, I think my I could pull out my old poetry here at the end and
read some.
I think it's in here.
And yeah, you want to talk, you know, 14 year old stuff.
Yeah, it's there.
(10:29):
That's kind of what I did.
But point to Jack G.P.T.
And this is why I don't like Jack G.P.T.
Yeah, because it's going to take the writer's jobs.
No, it's helping this writer hone his skills.
I will say in chat, G.P.T.'s anti-defense to get to do the exact thing I wanted it to
do, I had to go through like five different iterations because it couldn't get my rhyme
(10:53):
scheme, my syllable order correct.
But it eventually got there and it did OK.
The thing I don't like is that it put in the same line.
We drift through days our minds adrift.
That's a little repetitive.
Yeah, that is a little repetitive.
But you're not.
Its flow was good to do the requisite thing.
(11:14):
And I'm going to search for that on Google.
And that exact poem does not show anything on Google.
So it did not steal that wholesale.
It just it just stole pieces of it from across the Internet.
OK.
Or it just learned that it wrote a holy piece of art.
And you are disparaging an artist.
(11:37):
Not likely.
OK, so let's go ahead and go to the other side.
Like you said, we'll start sad.
We started with the least, the lesser, the shorter sad poem.
We'll go for the longer one.
This one's more.
Actually, I'll tell you the subjects.
And I had chat.
Chitty Chitty come up with this subject.
All right.
And the subject for this one, it came up with the unseen battle between day and night.
(12:03):
Damn, a chat.
Chitty Chitty is coming up with some bangers right now.
Yeah.
Like I said, it was a three verse with vivid imagery.
So no rhyming.
All right.
Three stanzas, each four lines long.
No, no rhyming.
No rhyming.
And you're looking the other way.
(12:24):
And you don't know which one I'm going to read first.
All right.
So number one.
And this one is titled.
The unseen battle between day and night.
Yes.
They're always going to be titled the same thing.
Well, you're trying to pick between two to see which one's mine and which one's chat
chitty chitty's.
All right.
The sun clenches the horizon.
(12:46):
Its rays like fingers desperate to hold.
But the night presses forward, relentless, a velvet wave consuming the gold.
The sky trembles caught in between.
A canvas torn by light and dark.
Stars blink awake as the day retreats.
And the moon ascends a silent mark.
(13:09):
In the end, neither wins nor loses.
A cycle spun by time's own hand.
Yet each dusk they meet again in the twilight where shadows stand.
Okay, continue looking that way.
I'm going to read the next one.
The dual spires of existence eternal, light and dark, twin throughout the world.
(13:31):
Emboldened by each other's passing, leaning to dominate their halves.
But each can never learn the lesson, the fact of their need for the other.
A yearning they could never express.
And a culling that would rend them both asunder.
So tagging through their wars they will, snaring and snagging each's hope anew.
(13:58):
Waiting for a day when they may tower.
Only rising after the other has built them a structure.
Okay.
Alright, so first one reminds me of the story of ancient Egyptians and how they viewed the
god of death and the god of light.
The Egyptians believed that every night the god of death who's set would kill the sun,
(14:26):
which was the sun, but also the sun of the god of light Horus.
But then every morning a new sun would arise.
So in thinking about that and listening to both the poems, I'm going to have to say
again Chachi P.T. wrote the first one and you wrote the second one.
(14:46):
Now which one is your favorite?
Oh definitely.
Oof.
Oof.
I kind of like the second one because it ends on a high note.
You know the light and the dark working together which is how it should.
Ding ding ding ding ding!
Thank you.
My inspiration behind that one was yes the idea that the battle between night and day
is useless battle because they depend on each other.
(15:08):
The way that good and evil can't really exist without each other.
Night and day must also exist.
The line I think I'm most proud of is yeah my ending.
Waiting for a day when they may tower.
Only rising after the other has built them a structure.
Yup.
So yeah no I'm actually really pleased that you liked that and that you saw through that.
(15:28):
I will say Chachi P.T.'s poem was good.
Yeah.
Like I said it pulled a lot from Egyptian.
Yeah and I absolutely liked its imagery of the velvet wave consuming the gold.
Yes.
I thought that was really interesting.
Okay so we're going to do it again.
Do the check on Google.
And note that those exact words pulled together do not exist anywhere else wholesale.
(15:55):
So Chachi P.T. gets a point on that one.
These points don't compete with your points.
The points in not having stolen something don't earn it anything.
No.
It just means it's doing its job well and it's taking these pieces and putting them
together in a way that a 10th grade English teacher would never be able to tell on some
(16:17):
kid's homework which is happening right now somewhere.
Yup.
Oh I would be using AI constantly in school now.
Same here because I hated doing homework and if I could just have something else do my
homework fucking for me.
If I basically it's the same way I look at it with game creation and one of the people
in game development recently said this too.
(16:39):
If we can get AI to do all the boring crap and repetitive stuff and then let us do all
the super creative stuff around it, automate the stuff we don't want to do and then we'll
do the rest.
And heck the other day I told you I was so excited I had Chachi P.T. help me figure out
what was wrong with my code in programming C sharp and Unity.
(17:00):
It figured the thing out and showed it to me.
I was like oh cool now I can continue doing my projects.
So it has its uses.
It has to be used correctly corporations out there.
Yeah.
Anyway let's get to something wacky.
Why don't we?
Hell yeah.
Is this about cheese?
Oh God is one of them about cheese?
(17:20):
What about tacos?
There is cheese in one of them.
There is cheese in one of them and then there's another one that's about food.
Hell yeah.
So we went with the more meaningful ones first that were also sad but then had philosophy
behind them.
Yes.
Now we're going wacky.
Oh shit.
The premise that gave Chachi P.T. was come up with five wacky themes for short form poetry.
(17:45):
And we're going to go one at a time.
You keep looking that way.
Don't screen cheat.
And we'll go with the first premise.
The first premise was the day my socks rebelled.
Oh fuck.
So I will figure out which one I want to read first and let's go.
Upon a day of treacherous temps my socks they made an escape attempt.
(18:07):
Soiled with sweat and wanting for more they crawled away to a distant shore.
That's one.
Okay.
And the other.
My socks grew legs and ran away.
Were tired of feet they yelled in dismay.
They marched out the door forming a line.
Now my toes are cold but their freedom's divine.
(18:29):
Okay the first one sounded like something that maybe a third grader wrote.
Okay.
I mean it was just kind of very generic and basic.
Yeah.
The second one though is kind of funny at the end.
You know how again it's like a little bit of a positive uplift.
It's like yeah my socks are gone but hey my toes are out and sometimes especially during
the summer.
(18:49):
That's awesome feeling.
Okay.
So I'm going to go with you wrote the first one and Chachie P.T. wrote the second one.
Oh my god this boy learned his lessons.
Because yes I did write a very juvenile poem.
I thought that the thing that would have tipped you off was that I put in something about
temperatures being bad.
(19:11):
Yeah.
Like because that's me every day.
My favorite part of the end of a work day.
I'm also surprised you didn't put something in about jizz.
No no no none of these are going to be in any way inappropriate because I bet that that
would give away the goose.
I mean I guess you could probably get Chachie P.T. to be a little inappropriate.
That's a lot harder than you think.
(19:32):
Yeah I guess.
They have her trained really well.
Okay good good dog.
Anyway no the my favorite thing about coming home from work is getting the shoes off getting
the socks off.
I chuck them over there in that pretty pile and I get my feet washed.
Best thing ever.
So Michael is actually up on on me myself and Chachie P.T. two to one.
(19:56):
Let's continue.
Yeah that's right motherfuckers.
So the next poem they're named Alien Breakfast Club.
I'm intrigued and also a little hesitant.
At dawn they gather from worlds afar sipping on juice from a glowing star.
(20:17):
With moon dust muffins and Saturn's jam they laugh at Earth's toast.
Ha what a sham.
That's one.
Don't laugh at her toast.
I like her toast.
Then the next one.
So just as the sun crests over the earth a UFO ponders mid-morning mirth.
(20:38):
What would these aliens love to chew on?
A breakfast of human brain on a bun.
Alright what do we got?
So first one sounded like it was written with a lot of whimsy.
Whimsy.
It was definitely on the more childish aspect of the whole thing.
You know with laughing at Earth's toast.
(20:59):
Earth has laughable toast.
No we do not.
I like our toast.
Don't diss our toast.
And with the whole getting jam from Saturn.
Saturn's jam.
Saturn's jam and then drinking liquid from a star.
Juice from a star.
And then the second one goes in the direction I would have went in.
And what I was thinking of.
(21:19):
One of these is going to have to be a play on to serve man.
It's a good book.
That's where it went.
With the whole we're going to feast on human brains.
Which I don't know if aliens would really feast on human brains.
We don't know what they would want to eat.
Yeah we don't know what they would want to eat.
So maybe they study them by eating them.
I'm going to go with you wrote the second one.
ChatGPT wrote the first one.
(21:40):
Aw man I think you've got this game down.
You've got this game down.
I think I tipped my hat too much when I put in the human eating.
Kind of.
Now which one was your favorite though?
Oh the human eating.
I'm always down to watch some aliens munch on some morons.
You know I was wondering though if you thought the Saturn's jam thing would be some sort
(22:01):
of sex or jizz thing.
No when I heard Saturn's jam.
Well think about it.
Saturn isn't Saturn the.
Which one's the leader of the Greek pantheon of God.
Or the Roman pantheon of God.
Is it Jupiter or Saturn?
So what is Saturn?
Oh okay Saturn is the god of time generation disillusion.
So Protos.
Yeah he was conflated with the Greek titan Kronos.
(22:23):
Okay.
Cause I know Pluto is the god of what death or is it death or war?
It was death.
And Pluto what yeah no Hades death.
Oh so yeah he's the god of the underworld.
Alright so.
Can JPG steal any of that?
We'll go over see I don't think any of these will be but we can search for those at the
end.
Alright.
(22:44):
I'll search all of them together.
All the silliness.
I'm a 3 to 1 if anybody else is keeping score.
Guys at the end of this episode comment what your score was.
Oh yeah.
I didn't even think about audience engagement.
That's great.
It's almost like you were made for podcasting.
The chat GPT might have been programmed for podcasting.
(23:07):
Anyway here's our next poem.
I was told I have a face for radio.
Oh he does.
Anyway.
The lament of the misfit puzzle piece.
Oh hell I always hated those things.
You don't like puzzles very much.
Oh no I like puzzles I just hate the fact that you almost dominated it.
One little piece and it's enough.
(23:29):
Oh I never had that problem because it was too organized and meticulous.
Anyway.
Number 1.
An answer to a question no one asked.
This puzzle piece lives for a time long past.
It fits in nowhere.
Not a space exists.
But it keeps looking striving to persist.
(23:52):
Sounds like me.
So that's number 1.
Haha yeah.
I'm a quarter piece in a land of curves.
A rebel among swerves and swerves.
I'll never fit.
I'm out of place.
Yet I dream of finding my own space.
So that's number 2.
Alright so the first one I definitely identify with because you know a missing puzzle piece
(24:14):
that's searching for a space that it never really can fit into.
It's constantly going to keep searching.
The second one was just kind of basic for me.
And it just kind of described what a puzzle kind of is.
So and again I think ChatGPT tipped it's hat.
I'm going to go with you wrote the first one.
(24:35):
ChatGPT wrote the second one because it rhymes swerve with swerve.
Yeah that one I almost thought about switching ChatGPT's swerve out for something else.
And maybe it was just reiterating swerve.
Maybe it just liked swerve a lot.
But yeah you're right on that one.
Up 4 to 1.
So in this case there's absolutely no way for ChatGPT to win.
(24:57):
Cool.
But we're still going to continue.
Alright that's perfectly fine.
Maybe now.
Maybe each of these ones should be worth 2 points.
So ChatGPT could win.
Here's the thing.
I'm going to give you this.
If you think you can get a queen sweep on the rest of these and you double down you
will get Big Dick Energy win.
(25:18):
But if you don't take it you get average dick win.
But you have a guaranteed win.
Guaranteed average dick win where you go for Big Dick Energy win with the possible loss.
Oh boy.
What'll it be buddy boy?
Oh Jesus.
My mind is telling me to take the sure win.
Mama didn't raise no bitch.
(25:39):
Gotta go for that Big Dick Energy.
Gotta go for that Big Dick Energy.
Alright so the next one.
As a huge lover of Garfield and all of his forms I'm pretty sure you're going to find
something to love here.
And also the fact that you're Italian.
It's the secret life of leftover lasagna.
Italian night long past in the week.
(26:01):
I sit here cold and starting to reek.
Lasagna I am proud to be so.
If only this the people did know.
And the next one.
Beneath the cling film I sit alone.
Dreaming of a plate not a cold zone.
(26:21):
Forgotten flavors I silently plea.
Will someone please remember me?
Alright so the first one definitely takes me down the line of what a...
It reminds me of a poem of what a piece of food that's been in the fridge for a little
bit would probably say.
Now the second one is more of a description of what it's feeling.
(26:43):
It wants to be remembered but it's also describing it being wrapped in a cling film in a Tupperware
container of sorts and definitely in the fridge somewhere.
So this is definitely a difficult one.
But if I have to choose and I have to make my pick I'm going to go with you wrote the
second one.
(27:04):
ChatGPT wrote the first one because you'd know that because I know you wouldn't forget
to wrap your leftovers.
Oh see so what a time what a time to make that bet.
Fuck me.
Because that's incorrect.
Four to three.
I thought you would have been tipped off by the fact that I threw in the word Italian
(27:26):
on that one.
I should have.
And you know how much I love telling you you're Italian.
Even though you're only part Italian.
I know.
All right.
I didn't think ChatGPT would put in cling film.
Yeah see I would even call it cling film.
I'd call it plastic wrap.
Yeah that's true.
Anyway we're down.
So it's also common.
Did you take the win or did you go for Big Dick Energy?
(27:48):
Oh I think I think everybody went for Big Dick Energy.
Big Dick.
Dick's out.
For Harambe?
For Harambe.
Absolutely.
Never stop.
Never stop.
Never put them dicks away.
We head out to Columbus and we get near Cincinnati.
We gotta pull our dicks out.
We have to face in the direction of Cincinnati and get them and get them winners shown.
(28:09):
Yep.
For Harambe.
So unjust.
Love those hands.
Okay next poem.
And yes I get it the meme is old.
I don't care.
I am old as well.
I love old memes.
I let memes seep and fester within my brain for all time.
(28:31):
I still think about all their base being belong to us you know.
It's fun.
I love Homestar Rudder.
Strong Bad Email.
I love all kind of old stuff.
Sue me.
Anyway let's get to our last poem.
So this is for all the marbles.
This is for all them marbles.
If I lose I lose by a point.
And you'll have no Dick Energy.
I'll have zero Dick Energy.
(28:53):
Anyway this poem is called.
I'm gonna have to rent a sad home.
That should actually that.
Thank you for coming up with your own punishment.
Fuck me.
Thank you.
That's amazing.
And honestly maybe that should be a trend moving forward in this game of yours with
chat.
Maybe when you lose there should be punishments.
You don't get punished.
(29:15):
Because I can't be.
You already kidnapped me in my own home once.
And you know it still traumatizes me to this day.
I have the puttista.
Anyway our final poem is called When Clouds Had Personalities.
Clouds always have personalities.
(29:35):
Fuck you.
Yeah.
The grumpy cloud rolled in with a frown while giggly puffs danced over town.
They argued and spun causing rain and sun until the sky said.
Enough.
You're done.
This guy's a dick.
Yeah.
It can be.
(29:56):
Anyway.
Number two.
Many eons passed in this world's orbit.
The clouds were just a bit more absorbent.
Some jolly, some angry, others morose.
Their emotional palette grandios.
Okay.
So here you are.
(30:18):
This is the moment of judgment.
Okay.
Sarah Connor looking at that fence and that bomb's about to drop.
So what future will you make?
Okay.
So this is definitely the hardest one because the first poem he used like giggly puff and
(30:41):
angry sky telling him that's enough.
When I say you use the words giggly puff I know how much of a fan of Pokemon you are.
It reminds me of giggly puff so I figured that would be something that would tip your
hand.
But you used a lot of how should I say AP English words to there was a lot of AP English
words in that second one to zhuzh it up a bit and you know how to play to my intellect
(31:07):
and how I like.
I will say though chatubt has access to dictionary.com.
I know.
So it could go either way.
That's what I'm saying.
This is a very difficult one.
But if I had to pick and you do have to.
Yeah.
I have to pick and I have to pick the correct one.
(31:28):
I feel that with the way there was such oomph in pronunciation and feeling behind that first
one at the end with the sky telling the clouds it's enough.
I'm going to have to say that you wrote the first one and chatubt wrote the second one.
And that's your final answer.
Take it in baby.
I'm locking it in.
(31:48):
Big dick energy.
In about to be no dick energy.
But big dick energy.
Let's do it.
Oh, it's no dick energy.
It's no dick energy.
I had the AP English words.
I am very proud that I rhymed morose with grandiose and just like that I lose five four.
(32:13):
I did earlier say the word morose to you in describing some of these poems.
I know.
And that was kind of a hint that at the time when I said the word morose, I said to myself,
shit, he's going to know that that word's on my brain and then we get out later on.
(32:33):
But he basically he fought himself through it.
And any of you out there that say that me telling him that chatubt has access to dictionary.com
swayed him.
He was a big boy and I asked him if he wanted to have final answer.
He could have switched.
So I went for big dick energy and ended up with no dick energy.
I am a dickless freak.
Hey, you know what though?
(32:54):
Let's not say freak.
People are out there are allowed to have no dicks.
There's like a whole gender of them.
Okay, dickless wonder I guess.
You're a cisgender male with no dick.
Let's say that.
I'm going to keep losing these episodes, aren't I?
It's only because of my own.
I should have won this one.
I was going to say you could have literally just locked in a win.
(33:15):
I could have locked in a win.
Indeed.
And I would have given you that big dick energy.
You would have had it.
It would have been yours to possess.
But just like everything else in my life, I piss it all away.
Yeah, but you know, that's how gambling works.
And hey, it makes life fun.
This is why we don't go to the casinos.
Yeah, stay away from that.
This is why I don't go to the casinos.
(33:35):
Okay.
I was up and I was like, come on, one more.
Daddy needs a new pair of fuck.
Let me make sure I tell everybody that he was jacking off the air.
He may tell you he was playing fake craps, but I think he was jacking off the air.
It was a combination of those.
Yeah.
So, GatchBT wrote notes for both scenarios that could have ended this episode.
(34:01):
And the one I'm going to read is, no worries, Michael.
Poetry is all about interpretation and everyone sees it a little differently.
The fact that you couldn't tell them apart just means we're all in the same wavelength.
Keep diving into poetry like you're going to do when you write a sad poem.
(34:24):
You're doing great.
It says, not me.
I'll tell you you're doing great if you write a good sad poem.
Fuck you, GatchBT.
I'm going to just do it now and get this over with.
No.
Writing and crafting a poem cannot be trivialized.
You have to do it properly.
It needs to be written in good handwriting, not your chicken scratch.
(34:45):
I don't have good handwriting.
In good handwriting, not your chicken scratch.
I should free-form a poem right now, motherfucker.
No, no, no.
We're not improving.
This isn't the improv.
You've got to craft this shit.
You have a week to craft it.
It's got to be sad.
It has to make either my eyes cry or my dick cry.
One or the other.
One or the other.
(35:06):
It's both.
I'll take it.
One or the other.
So anyway, GatchBT just has one line that it wants to leave us off with.
And so, we drift on a breeze made of moonlight and marmalade.
(35:27):
Until next time.
If you enjoyed the human stupidity of the words that were just said, why not click on
(36:01):
the like button?
In a world full of fear and sometimes loathing of unfathomable technological advancements,
(00:09):
there stands one human hero.
I'm a maroon!
This is the Chronicle of Mike vs. The Machine.
Alright, so welcome back everybody.
(00:31):
Um, Mike, please stop having sex with ChatGPT.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Don't tell me what to do.
Please stop.
Please.
It's... no, no.
You have a problem.
But, I mean, how dare you make this incredibly offensive accusation?
You have literally not...
How do I word this?
Mike, I walked in here and there's lube all over the ports on your computer.
(00:54):
Okay, you don't want the room to be shiny.
Doesn't it make it feel more classy and professional when the room is shiny?
Folks, for you or those at home, please vote to have Mike stop having sex with ChatGPT.
No, no, no, no, no.
That's not on the ballot.
We have the presidents and stuff and then we've got like the senators and the...
(01:14):
Okay, okay.
Representatives.
Okay, we're getting off topic and...
Yeah, we are!
We are!
Because you want to judge me for things that you don't even know have happened.
You are just...
You know what?
This is not classy.
You know what is classy?
What's classy?
Poetry.
Oh, fuck yes.
I love poetry.
Well, who's your favorite poet?
(01:35):
Oh, God.
I don't know really any names.
I just know I like watching a lot of like slam poetry videos and people that go up and...
What about Def Jam?
Oh, Def Jam's awesome.
That's pretty sick.
Yeah, no, I have to get very like white girl answers.
No offense to white girls.
But I'm like, oh, Poet's pretty good stuff.
Oh, yeah, Poet's very good stuff.
Then you got like Robert Frost.
(01:57):
Yeah.
And then there was...
Oh, there was that Dream Deferred one that was pretty cool.
I forget who that was.
I don't know.
I don't know.
But you know, it's true though.
Dream Denied is a Dream Deferred.
Yeah, it's true.
Dream Deferred is a Dream Denied.
Yeah, that was it.
Anyway, poetry is fun.
The earliest poetry is believed to have been recited or sung, employed as a way of remembering
(02:19):
oral history, genealogy, and law closely related to musical traditions and apparently predates
literacy.
Oh, yeah.
I mean...
So that's fun.
Words definitely...
Yeah.
...predate everything.
Well...
Yeah, like, you know there was a caveman somewhere.
Yeah.
And as he was using his rock to hit the other rock because some guy hired him to hit rock
(02:43):
with rock.
Yeah.
While he was doing that, he was singing a little tune.
Probably about murdering his boss.
But you know, that's a tale as old as time.
Yeah.
You think it wants something like this?
Yeah, I mean, more than likely.
Yeah, but that would do, bitch.
Yeah, so what do you think...
Have you heard of this?
I want to know.
Because I thought when I read this, it was interesting.
The oldest surviving speculative fiction poem.
Ooh.
The Tale of the Shipwrecked Sailor.
No.
Doesn't that sound familiar?
(03:03):
It does sound familiar, but I'm not sure.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
I'm intrigued.
It does sound familiar, but I am intrigued.
Yeah, it's like a Greek.
It comes from like a Greek epic.
Oh, so it's kind of like Homer.
Or a Greek thing, yeah.
(03:24):
Yeah, but it comes from 2500 BC.
Nice.
And then the oldest surviving epic poem is from, oh, the third millennium BC, so that's
a similar time frame.
Is it technically like the Odyssey and Iliad?
Aren't those two...
Yeah, no, down here.
Other ancient epics include the Iliad and the Odyssey, yeah.
But that oldest one is the Epic of Gilgamesh.
(03:46):
Oh, yes.
Celtic hero, Gilgamesh.
No, no, no, no.
He wasn't Celtic.
He's from Iraq.
Well, that's something that got screwed up in my...
In your head?
Well, no.
I mean, I know Gilgamesh from Final Fantasy games, so I mean, it really makes sense.
I took a mythology class in high school, and for some reason, somebody thought Gilgamesh
(04:08):
was Celtic.
I mean, honestly, I think that is one of the mythical traditions that does repeat itself
through history.
I know the story of Finn McCool and the Demon Baller.
I know, but Chester Cheetah or the Cool Spot.
I don't know.
When you said that, it just reminded me of those two Super Nintendo games.
(04:29):
So, yeah.
Anyway, why in the hell am I talking about poetry?
I don't know.
Why in the hell are you talking about poetry?
Well, here's the thing.
I propose a game for you today.
Here we go.
And our buddy here, ChatGBT, is going to be involved.
I said our.
We have collective possessions, collective friends, and collective loved ones.
(04:54):
I almost said lovers, but that's not true.
Nah, me too.
Freudian slip.
So, anyway, I propose a game.
I mean, I say I propose.
I mean, we're going to do it because I've already done all the prep work.
So, I had ChatGBT.
First, it picked out five funny little premises for short form poetry, and it wrote a poem
(05:18):
for each.
Don't look at my screen.
I'm not.
And then I wrote a poem without looking at those poems fully.
And you're going to tell me which one was written by me and which one by AI.
So there are also two other poems that are it's a as I quoted it as a sad poem.
(05:41):
And the other one is a it's sad, but more morose.
Something like that.
And here's a couple of things that kind of lean toward more of what poetry normally is,
which is like people sadly meandering through philosophy.
That should make it a little bit easier on me.
OK, so maybe that'll be a little bit of an advantage for me because I don't know if ChatGBT
(06:03):
understands humor.
Yeah.
And then you also said that you'd be able to tell ChatGBT in mind based on sadness.
And ChatGBT is literally being fed the Internet, which is full and it's filtering and ChatGBT
filters out most of the hate.
So instead, what you're left with is well, and also filters out, I would assume, the
(06:25):
horniness.
So if you filter out the horniness and the hate, it's mostly just people yelling about
either being happy or sad.
So you know, OK, well, with that aside, we're going to get into the poetry.
Now, I will ask you, Michael, do you want to start with a sad or a wacky?
(06:45):
Let's get the sad out of the way.
Let's get the sad out of the way so we can make the rest of the episode, you know, happy,
jovial, funny, because people listen to us to brighten up their day.
Not to try to dry it, dry themselves off a cliff.
I mean, we'll see how that goes.
Depending on how you like the sound of our voice, you might have already done it.
You've already driven off in the magma already to dry them.
(07:08):
And if we've done that, we're sorry.
I mean, I'm not like that was that that was a choice of their own volition.
They didn't do it out of sadness.
They did it out of hatred for us.
Can you have just a little bit of a conscience for that?
No, I have a conscience.
If you're sad, get on a pill like I have.
I love Prozac.
It's the best.
Or start getting get some therapy or just masturbating a lot.
(07:30):
That'll also really help your mood.
But if you consciously choose to drive your car off a cliff because you don't like the
sound of two people of two people's voices, two two heterosexual cis males who just won't
shut up, that's their choice.
Anyway, don't don't unalive yourself.
That's sad.
Get some help.
(07:50):
Anyway, poetry.
So
here is one.
It's called The Sad One.
Is that serious?
Yeah, these two are both called The Sad One.
Within fleeting desperate times, thoughts pass quickly.
A melancholy climbs.
(08:13):
Nothing is certain.
All is lost.
Prayers unanswered.
Our sanity the cost.
So that's one.
All right.
Now, here's the other.
In shadows deep, the silence grows.
Fading light as hollow hearts conceal their woes.
(08:35):
We drift through days.
Our minds adrift empty streets and search for meaning lost and swift.
What was the title of that one?
The Sad One.
They're all.
Both of our versions are called the same thing.
All right.
So the first poem sounded like a depressed 14 year old just being a depressed 14 year
(09:00):
old and, you know, getting dealing with the emotions, the hormones and the parents who
understand me.
And, you know, the same shit we all went through.
Second one had a little more weight to it.
It had a little more earthiness to it.
It had a little bit more of a sort of a renaissance, you know, old timey Robin Hood esque, you
(09:25):
know, with the with the wording.
It's what it sounded like to me.
What was that era called again?
I mean, there was, I guess they call it the Crusade era, I guess.
I mean, there was the Renaissance.
Well, yes, there was the Renaissance.
So I'm just going to say about the Renaissance.
So I had to pick.
Well, first, also tell me which one is your favorite.
And then tell me which one you think is mine.
(09:46):
The second one is definitely my second one is your guess is your favorite.
Yes.
When did I write the second one?
We're not getting off to a good start here.
You've got to be shitting me.
The second one was Jack G.P.C.
God damn it.
Now I did have to tap into your inner 14 year old.
I mean, yeah, that's when I started writing poetry.
Like you figure I wrote what six.
(10:07):
Yeah, I wrote seven poems today in the span of one day.
Yeah, like I have practice.
Yeah, like actually, no, I think my I could pull out my old poetry here at the end and
read some.
I think it's in here.
And yeah, you want to talk, you know, 14 year old stuff.
Yeah, it's there.
(10:29):
That's kind of what I did.
But point to Jack G.P.T.
And this is why I don't like Jack G.P.T.
Yeah, because it's going to take the writer's jobs.
No, it's helping this writer hone his skills.
I will say in chat, G.P.T.'s anti-defense to get to do the exact thing I wanted it to
do, I had to go through like five different iterations because it couldn't get my rhyme
(10:53):
scheme, my syllable order correct.
But it eventually got there and it did OK.
The thing I don't like is that it put in the same line.
We drift through days our minds adrift.
That's a little repetitive.
Yeah, that is a little repetitive.
But you're not.
Its flow was good to do the requisite thing.
(11:14):
And I'm going to search for that on Google.
And that exact poem does not show anything on Google.
So it did not steal that wholesale.
It just it just stole pieces of it from across the Internet.
OK.
Or it just learned that it wrote a holy piece of art.
And you are disparaging an artist.
(11:37):
Not likely.
OK, so let's go ahead and go to the other side.
Like you said, we'll start sad.
We started with the least, the lesser, the shorter sad poem.
We'll go for the longer one.
This one's more.
Actually, I'll tell you the subjects.
And I had chat.
Chitty Chitty come up with this subject.
All right.
And the subject for this one, it came up with the unseen battle between day and night.
(12:03):
Damn, a chat.
Chitty Chitty is coming up with some bangers right now.
Yeah.
Like I said, it was a three verse with vivid imagery.
So no rhyming.
All right.
Three stanzas, each four lines long.
No, no rhyming.
No rhyming.
And you're looking the other way.
(12:24):
And you don't know which one I'm going to read first.
All right.
So number one.
And this one is titled.
The unseen battle between day and night.
Yes.
They're always going to be titled the same thing.
Well, you're trying to pick between two to see which one's mine and which one's chat
chitty chitty's.
All right.
The sun clenches the horizon.
(12:46):
Its rays like fingers desperate to hold.
But the night presses forward, relentless, a velvet wave consuming the gold.
The sky trembles caught in between.
A canvas torn by light and dark.
Stars blink awake as the day retreats.
And the moon ascends a silent mark.
(13:09):
In the end, neither wins nor loses.
A cycle spun by time's own hand.
Yet each dusk they meet again in the twilight where shadows stand.
Okay, continue looking that way.
I'm going to read the next one.
The dual spires of existence eternal, light and dark, twin throughout the world.
(13:31):
Emboldened by each other's passing, leaning to dominate their halves.
But each can never learn the lesson, the fact of their need for the other.
A yearning they could never express.
And a culling that would rend them both asunder.
So tagging through their wars they will, snaring and snagging each's hope anew.
(13:58):
Waiting for a day when they may tower.
Only rising after the other has built them a structure.
Okay.
Alright, so first one reminds me of the story of ancient Egyptians and how they viewed the
god of death and the god of light.
The Egyptians believed that every night the god of death who's set would kill the sun,
(14:26):
which was the sun, but also the sun of the god of light Horus.
But then every morning a new sun would arise.
So in thinking about that and listening to both the poems, I'm going to have to say
again Chachi P.T. wrote the first one and you wrote the second one.
(14:46):
Now which one is your favorite?
Oh definitely.
Oof.
Oof.
I kind of like the second one because it ends on a high note.
You know the light and the dark working together which is how it should.
Ding ding ding ding ding!
Thank you.
My inspiration behind that one was yes the idea that the battle between night and day
is useless battle because they depend on each other.
(15:08):
The way that good and evil can't really exist without each other.
Night and day must also exist.
The line I think I'm most proud of is yeah my ending.
Waiting for a day when they may tower.
Only rising after the other has built them a structure.
Yup.
So yeah no I'm actually really pleased that you liked that and that you saw through that.
(15:28):
I will say Chachi P.T.'s poem was good.
Yeah.
Like I said it pulled a lot from Egyptian.
Yeah and I absolutely liked its imagery of the velvet wave consuming the gold.
Yes.
I thought that was really interesting.
Okay so we're going to do it again.
Do the check on Google.
And note that those exact words pulled together do not exist anywhere else wholesale.
(15:55):
So Chachi P.T. gets a point on that one.
These points don't compete with your points.
The points in not having stolen something don't earn it anything.
No.
It just means it's doing its job well and it's taking these pieces and putting them
together in a way that a 10th grade English teacher would never be able to tell on some
(16:17):
kid's homework which is happening right now somewhere.
Yup.
Oh I would be using AI constantly in school now.
Same here because I hated doing homework and if I could just have something else do my
homework fucking for me.
If I basically it's the same way I look at it with game creation and one of the people
in game development recently said this too.
(16:39):
If we can get AI to do all the boring crap and repetitive stuff and then let us do all
the super creative stuff around it, automate the stuff we don't want to do and then we'll
do the rest.
And heck the other day I told you I was so excited I had Chachi P.T. help me figure out
what was wrong with my code in programming C sharp and Unity.
(17:00):
It figured the thing out and showed it to me.
I was like oh cool now I can continue doing my projects.
So it has its uses.
It has to be used correctly corporations out there.
Yeah.
Anyway let's get to something wacky.
Why don't we?
Hell yeah.
Is this about cheese?
Oh God is one of them about cheese?
(17:20):
What about tacos?
There is cheese in one of them.
There is cheese in one of them and then there's another one that's about food.
Hell yeah.
So we went with the more meaningful ones first that were also sad but then had philosophy
behind them.
Yes.
Now we're going wacky.
Oh shit.
The premise that gave Chachi P.T. was come up with five wacky themes for short form poetry.
(17:45):
And we're going to go one at a time.
You keep looking that way.
Don't screen cheat.
And we'll go with the first premise.
The first premise was the day my socks rebelled.
Oh fuck.
So I will figure out which one I want to read first and let's go.
Upon a day of treacherous temps my socks they made an escape attempt.
(18:07):
Soiled with sweat and wanting for more they crawled away to a distant shore.
That's one.
Okay.
And the other.
My socks grew legs and ran away.
Were tired of feet they yelled in dismay.
They marched out the door forming a line.
Now my toes are cold but their freedom's divine.
(18:29):
Okay the first one sounded like something that maybe a third grader wrote.
Okay.
I mean it was just kind of very generic and basic.
Yeah.
The second one though is kind of funny at the end.
You know how again it's like a little bit of a positive uplift.
It's like yeah my socks are gone but hey my toes are out and sometimes especially during
the summer.
(18:49):
That's awesome feeling.
Okay.
So I'm going to go with you wrote the first one and Chachie P.T. wrote the second one.
Oh my god this boy learned his lessons.
Because yes I did write a very juvenile poem.
I thought that the thing that would have tipped you off was that I put in something about
temperatures being bad.
(19:11):
Yeah.
Like because that's me every day.
My favorite part of the end of a work day.
I'm also surprised you didn't put something in about jizz.
No no no none of these are going to be in any way inappropriate because I bet that that
would give away the goose.
I mean I guess you could probably get Chachie P.T. to be a little inappropriate.
That's a lot harder than you think.
(19:32):
Yeah I guess.
They have her trained really well.
Okay good good dog.
Anyway no the my favorite thing about coming home from work is getting the shoes off getting
the socks off.
I chuck them over there in that pretty pile and I get my feet washed.
Best thing ever.
So Michael is actually up on on me myself and Chachie P.T. two to one.
(19:56):
Let's continue.
Yeah that's right motherfuckers.
So the next poem they're named Alien Breakfast Club.
I'm intrigued and also a little hesitant.
At dawn they gather from worlds afar sipping on juice from a glowing star.
(20:17):
With moon dust muffins and Saturn's jam they laugh at Earth's toast.
Ha what a sham.
That's one.
Don't laugh at her toast.
I like her toast.
Then the next one.
So just as the sun crests over the earth a UFO ponders mid-morning mirth.
(20:38):
What would these aliens love to chew on?
A breakfast of human brain on a bun.
Alright what do we got?
So first one sounded like it was written with a lot of whimsy.
Whimsy.
It was definitely on the more childish aspect of the whole thing.
You know with laughing at Earth's toast.
(20:59):
Earth has laughable toast.
No we do not.
I like our toast.
Don't diss our toast.
And with the whole getting jam from Saturn.
Saturn's jam.
Saturn's jam and then drinking liquid from a star.
Juice from a star.
And then the second one goes in the direction I would have went in.
And what I was thinking of.
(21:19):
One of these is going to have to be a play on to serve man.
It's a good book.
That's where it went.
With the whole we're going to feast on human brains.
Which I don't know if aliens would really feast on human brains.
We don't know what they would want to eat.
Yeah we don't know what they would want to eat.
So maybe they study them by eating them.
I'm going to go with you wrote the second one.
ChatGPT wrote the first one.
(21:40):
Aw man I think you've got this game down.
You've got this game down.
I think I tipped my hat too much when I put in the human eating.
Kind of.
Now which one was your favorite though?
Oh the human eating.
I'm always down to watch some aliens munch on some morons.
You know I was wondering though if you thought the Saturn's jam thing would be some sort
(22:01):
of sex or jizz thing.
No when I heard Saturn's jam.
Well think about it.
Saturn isn't Saturn the.
Which one's the leader of the Greek pantheon of God.
Or the Roman pantheon of God.
Is it Jupiter or Saturn?
So what is Saturn?
Oh okay Saturn is the god of time generation disillusion.
So Protos.
Yeah he was conflated with the Greek titan Kronos.
(22:23):
Okay.
Cause I know Pluto is the god of what death or is it death or war?
It was death.
And Pluto what yeah no Hades death.
Oh so yeah he's the god of the underworld.
Alright so.
Can JPG steal any of that?
We'll go over see I don't think any of these will be but we can search for those at the
end.
Alright.
(22:44):
I'll search all of them together.
All the silliness.
I'm a 3 to 1 if anybody else is keeping score.
Guys at the end of this episode comment what your score was.
Oh yeah.
I didn't even think about audience engagement.
That's great.
It's almost like you were made for podcasting.
The chat GPT might have been programmed for podcasting.
(23:07):
Anyway here's our next poem.
I was told I have a face for radio.
Oh he does.
Anyway.
The lament of the misfit puzzle piece.
Oh hell I always hated those things.
You don't like puzzles very much.
Oh no I like puzzles I just hate the fact that you almost dominated it.
One little piece and it's enough.
(23:29):
Oh I never had that problem because it was too organized and meticulous.
Anyway.
Number 1.
An answer to a question no one asked.
This puzzle piece lives for a time long past.
It fits in nowhere.
Not a space exists.
But it keeps looking striving to persist.
(23:52):
Sounds like me.
So that's number 1.
Haha yeah.
I'm a quarter piece in a land of curves.
A rebel among swerves and swerves.
I'll never fit.
I'm out of place.
Yet I dream of finding my own space.
So that's number 2.
Alright so the first one I definitely identify with because you know a missing puzzle piece
(24:14):
that's searching for a space that it never really can fit into.
It's constantly going to keep searching.
The second one was just kind of basic for me.
And it just kind of described what a puzzle kind of is.
So and again I think ChatGPT tipped it's hat.
I'm going to go with you wrote the first one.
(24:35):
ChatGPT wrote the second one because it rhymes swerve with swerve.
Yeah that one I almost thought about switching ChatGPT's swerve out for something else.
And maybe it was just reiterating swerve.
Maybe it just liked swerve a lot.
But yeah you're right on that one.
Up 4 to 1.
So in this case there's absolutely no way for ChatGPT to win.
(24:57):
Cool.
But we're still going to continue.
Alright that's perfectly fine.
Maybe now.
Maybe each of these ones should be worth 2 points.
So ChatGPT could win.
Here's the thing.
I'm going to give you this.
If you think you can get a queen sweep on the rest of these and you double down you
will get Big Dick Energy win.
(25:18):
But if you don't take it you get average dick win.
But you have a guaranteed win.
Guaranteed average dick win where you go for Big Dick Energy win with the possible loss.
Oh boy.
What'll it be buddy boy?
Oh Jesus.
My mind is telling me to take the sure win.
Mama didn't raise no bitch.
(25:39):
Gotta go for that Big Dick Energy.
Gotta go for that Big Dick Energy.
Alright so the next one.
As a huge lover of Garfield and all of his forms I'm pretty sure you're going to find
something to love here.
And also the fact that you're Italian.
It's the secret life of leftover lasagna.
Italian night long past in the week.
(26:01):
I sit here cold and starting to reek.
Lasagna I am proud to be so.
If only this the people did know.
And the next one.
Beneath the cling film I sit alone.
Dreaming of a plate not a cold zone.
(26:21):
Forgotten flavors I silently plea.
Will someone please remember me?
Alright so the first one definitely takes me down the line of what a...
It reminds me of a poem of what a piece of food that's been in the fridge for a little
bit would probably say.
Now the second one is more of a description of what it's feeling.
(26:43):
It wants to be remembered but it's also describing it being wrapped in a cling film in a Tupperware
container of sorts and definitely in the fridge somewhere.
So this is definitely a difficult one.
But if I have to choose and I have to make my pick I'm going to go with you wrote the
second one.
(27:04):
ChatGPT wrote the first one because you'd know that because I know you wouldn't forget
to wrap your leftovers.
Oh see so what a time what a time to make that bet.
Fuck me.
Because that's incorrect.
Four to three.
I thought you would have been tipped off by the fact that I threw in the word Italian
(27:26):
on that one.
I should have.
And you know how much I love telling you you're Italian.
Even though you're only part Italian.
I know.
All right.
I didn't think ChatGPT would put in cling film.
Yeah see I would even call it cling film.
I'd call it plastic wrap.
Yeah that's true.
Anyway we're down.
So it's also common.
Did you take the win or did you go for Big Dick Energy?
(27:48):
Oh I think I think everybody went for Big Dick Energy.
Big Dick.
Dick's out.
For Harambe?
For Harambe.
Absolutely.
Never stop.
Never stop.
Never put them dicks away.
We head out to Columbus and we get near Cincinnati.
We gotta pull our dicks out.
We have to face in the direction of Cincinnati and get them and get them winners shown.
(28:09):
Yep.
For Harambe.
So unjust.
Love those hands.
Okay next poem.
And yes I get it the meme is old.
I don't care.
I am old as well.
I love old memes.
I let memes seep and fester within my brain for all time.
(28:31):
I still think about all their base being belong to us you know.
It's fun.
I love Homestar Rudder.
Strong Bad Email.
I love all kind of old stuff.
Sue me.
Anyway let's get to our last poem.
So this is for all the marbles.
This is for all them marbles.
If I lose I lose by a point.
And you'll have no Dick Energy.
I'll have zero Dick Energy.
(28:53):
Anyway this poem is called.
I'm gonna have to rent a sad home.
That should actually that.
Thank you for coming up with your own punishment.
Fuck me.
Thank you.
That's amazing.
And honestly maybe that should be a trend moving forward in this game of yours with
chat.
Maybe when you lose there should be punishments.
You don't get punished.
(29:15):
Because I can't be.
You already kidnapped me in my own home once.
And you know it still traumatizes me to this day.
I have the puttista.
Anyway our final poem is called When Clouds Had Personalities.
Clouds always have personalities.
(29:35):
Fuck you.
Yeah.
The grumpy cloud rolled in with a frown while giggly puffs danced over town.
They argued and spun causing rain and sun until the sky said.
Enough.
You're done.
This guy's a dick.
Yeah.
It can be.
(29:56):
Anyway.
Number two.
Many eons passed in this world's orbit.
The clouds were just a bit more absorbent.
Some jolly, some angry, others morose.
Their emotional palette grandios.
Okay.
So here you are.
(30:18):
This is the moment of judgment.
Okay.
Sarah Connor looking at that fence and that bomb's about to drop.
So what future will you make?
Okay.
So this is definitely the hardest one because the first poem he used like giggly puff and
(30:41):
angry sky telling him that's enough.
When I say you use the words giggly puff I know how much of a fan of Pokemon you are.
It reminds me of giggly puff so I figured that would be something that would tip your
hand.
But you used a lot of how should I say AP English words to there was a lot of AP English
words in that second one to zhuzh it up a bit and you know how to play to my intellect
(31:07):
and how I like.
I will say though chatubt has access to dictionary.com.
I know.
So it could go either way.
That's what I'm saying.
This is a very difficult one.
But if I had to pick and you do have to.
Yeah.
I have to pick and I have to pick the correct one.
(31:28):
I feel that with the way there was such oomph in pronunciation and feeling behind that first
one at the end with the sky telling the clouds it's enough.
I'm going to have to say that you wrote the first one and chatubt wrote the second one.
And that's your final answer.
Take it in baby.
I'm locking it in.
(31:48):
Big dick energy.
In about to be no dick energy.
But big dick energy.
Let's do it.
Oh, it's no dick energy.
It's no dick energy.
I had the AP English words.
I am very proud that I rhymed morose with grandiose and just like that I lose five four.
(32:13):
I did earlier say the word morose to you in describing some of these poems.
I know.
And that was kind of a hint that at the time when I said the word morose, I said to myself,
shit, he's going to know that that word's on my brain and then we get out later on.
(32:33):
But he basically he fought himself through it.
And any of you out there that say that me telling him that chatubt has access to dictionary.com
swayed him.
He was a big boy and I asked him if he wanted to have final answer.
He could have switched.
So I went for big dick energy and ended up with no dick energy.
I am a dickless freak.
Hey, you know what though?
(32:54):
Let's not say freak.
People are out there are allowed to have no dicks.
There's like a whole gender of them.
Okay, dickless wonder I guess.
You're a cisgender male with no dick.
Let's say that.
I'm going to keep losing these episodes, aren't I?
It's only because of my own.
I should have won this one.
I was going to say you could have literally just locked in a win.
(33:15):
I could have locked in a win.
Indeed.
And I would have given you that big dick energy.
You would have had it.
It would have been yours to possess.
But just like everything else in my life, I piss it all away.
Yeah, but you know, that's how gambling works.
And hey, it makes life fun.
This is why we don't go to the casinos.
Yeah, stay away from that.
This is why I don't go to the casinos.
(33:35):
Okay.
I was up and I was like, come on, one more.
Daddy needs a new pair of fuck.
Let me make sure I tell everybody that he was jacking off the air.
He may tell you he was playing fake craps, but I think he was jacking off the air.
It was a combination of those.
Yeah.
So, GatchBT wrote notes for both scenarios that could have ended this episode.
(34:01):
And the one I'm going to read is, no worries, Michael.
Poetry is all about interpretation and everyone sees it a little differently.
The fact that you couldn't tell them apart just means we're all in the same wavelength.
Keep diving into poetry like you're going to do when you write a sad poem.
(34:24):
You're doing great.
It says, not me.
I'll tell you you're doing great if you write a good sad poem.
Fuck you, GatchBT.
I'm going to just do it now and get this over with.
No.
Writing and crafting a poem cannot be trivialized.
You have to do it properly.
It needs to be written in good handwriting, not your chicken scratch.
(34:45):
I don't have good handwriting.
In good handwriting, not your chicken scratch.
I should free-form a poem right now, motherfucker.
No, no, no.
We're not improving.
This isn't the improv.
You've got to craft this shit.
You have a week to craft it.
It's got to be sad.
It has to make either my eyes cry or my dick cry.
One or the other.
One or the other.
(35:06):
It's both.
I'll take it.
One or the other.
So anyway, GatchBT just has one line that it wants to leave us off with.
And so, we drift on a breeze made of moonlight and marmalade.
(35:27):
Until next time.
If you enjoyed the human stupidity of the words that were just said, why not click on
(36:01):
the like button?
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