Mike vs. the Machine - How Do Cars Do?

"After a festive holiday break, Mike 1 and Mike A are back and ready to rev up the podcast! This time, they hilariously tackle car parts, attempting to decipher their functions based solely on their names—proving you don’t need expertise to have fun under the hood."

Thanks, ChatGPT!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
In a world full of fear and sometimes loathing of unfathomable technological advancements,

(00:09):
there stands one human hero.
Great!
This is the Chronicle of Mike vs. The Machine.
Ba da ba ba boo! And we're back!

(00:32):
Uh, we... what? We never left.
With me as always is my cohort, Mike.
Hey.
And I'm... Mike. We're glad to see you here.
They can't see us.
I mean, I can see them when they listen to us.
Well, all we see is numbers.
Yeah. I mean, that's all we are in the end, are just numbers.

(00:53):
Oh, here we go. All right.
I mean, honestly, that's true both philosophically, if the universe is a giant computer simulation,
or if you look at us just being our social security numbers and things like that.
By the way, what's your social security number?
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Just give me a number. Just give me one number.

(01:13):
Give me one number while we both silence our phones.
Six.
One? Michael, where do we work?
Uh, we work in the automotive industry, so to speak.
Thank you for being vague.
Yeah, so we... I will say we don't build cars.
Yeah, neither one of us are that, uh, skilled.
Yeah. We also don't repair cars, which will be vital for this conversation.

(01:39):
Yeah, again, neither one of us are that skilled.
I would be had I gone to Votek when I was younger, but...
quesad a serah.
Yeah, and I would be if I had, like, the hands that my father wished I had,
but I don't, and I don't like tools.
I prefer the tools that are in my burn.
I prefer tool the band.
Yeah, actually, me too.
Anyway, so I had the thought, hey, how do cars do?

(02:03):
Ha... Uh...
Okay.
Answer me that question. How do cars do?
Do you want a just...
Okay, uh, electricity, uh, combustion source.
Oh, you're gonna start with electricity?
Wheel.
I would have started with the star going... dying and going supernova,

(02:24):
thus creating iron and then spreading it throughout the universe,
but that's just me.
Ah...
You wanted the layman answer.
I mean, for the question of how it's phrased, how do cars do,
I figured I'd give you the simplistic caveman answer.
I mean, technically, the... probably the correct answer is how do cars do?
Cars go.
Yeah, go. Push pedal, go fast.

(02:45):
Cars go. And that's mostly our knowledge of it.
We have disparate other pieces of knowledge beyond that,
and that's what we're going to do today.
Yes, we're going to talk about things we've learned.
We're going to... Yeah, what we've learned at our job,
what we may have already known,
and see... just see how far our knowledge extends.

(03:06):
Yes.
I will say that this episode will very likely, uh,
be quite hilarious to actual mechanics and Autobody techs.
Yeah, so feel free to go off on the comments.
Yeah, we're definitely going to have to share this episode
when it's posted to as many people we work with as possible.
Oh, yeah.
This will be the one, I think, that will really branch out to them
and really tickle them.

(03:29):
Oh, yeah. It's going to tickle some buttholes.
Yeah. So, anyway, let's start up.
Now, I will say, uh, this is an episode that we will be playing co-op.
I feel like we should be... Yay!
Yeah, we should be testing our human knowledge,
our, you know, our human thoughts and feelings.
Uh, so I had ChatGPT, our lovely and amazing, uh, co-host here...

(03:53):
In front of me.
...pull together some data for us.
And I have this data in a lovely notepad file here
that we're going to look over.
So, it starts fairly simple.
Engine.
Uh, I mean, even the simplest of people
can tell you what the engine does.
It makes the car go.
But how does it do it?

(04:15):
Uh, through combustion, electricity, sometimes cold fusion.
Ha-ha. Yeah, but how does it do it, though?
Gears and pistons and belts, pulleys, a system of chains.
Yeah, but I mean, what's the actual mechanism that's happening?
Combustion.
Yeah, but how? What's it doing?
It's turning a liquid into...

(04:36):
It's turning a liquid called gasoline into a gas...
A vapor.
Yeah, a vapor. And yes.
And then it pushes through the system and then...
OK, well, like, the answer...
We realize this is a co-op episode.
So, the answer I was pulling for was that when the piston is down,
in the down position where there's space in there,
I believe it injects...
There's a fuel injector that would inject the vapor.

(04:58):
Yes.
The vapor is then combusted by the spark plug,
the electricity of which you discussed.
Yes.
And then that, like, pushes the piston down.
Or maybe it's when the piston's up.
See, here we go.
Yeah.
When the piston is in a certain position,
the gas combusts.
The gasoline in a gaseous form combusts, pushing said piston.

(05:21):
And then the pistons go up and down and it make a woogie boogie
and then cargo.
Yes.
Now, I have to preface this right now in saying,
and I think you're going to agree with this,
we're basically talking this episode about your normal,
standard combustion engine.
Oh, yeah.
We're not getting into e-cars.
I don't want to get into how a hybrid works.
Yeah, no.

(05:42):
That's far too complicated.
Not to mention, I don't want to talk about Tesla because fuck,
Elon Musk.
Yeah, Elon Musk is a dirty little boy.
We're not getting into him.
Yeah, no.
And we're not getting into Twitter or X either.
You'll notice, hopefully by the time this episode comes out,
we'll have some content on social medias.

(06:03):
X, which we will not be a part of.
And X, we will not be a part of just because, ah.
It's a dumpster fire.
I used Twitter way back and it was kind of fun.
I didn't even really see the point back then.
And now it's just even worse.
I don't know.
I might make a Blue Sky account.
Apparently, that's like an alternate Twitter.

(06:23):
I might look into it.
Oh, OK.
Yeah, I think the Game Grumps are on there too.
So OK, cool.
I might hit that up.
But now we got to get back on topic.
Anyway, Chat-CBT mentions that it converts fuel
into mechanical energy to propel the vehicle,
rotational force driving the pistons, et cetera.
We basically got that.
Yeah, in some of your words.
So now going beyond that transmission.
That's the thing that you got to make the car go.

(06:45):
That's like, OK, well, we both know there's
two different types of transmissions.
Well, that's fine.
What does the transmission do?
It transmits the energy into propulsion.
That's what I would assume it does.
OK, well, basically, it's taking the energy,
the mechanical energy from the engine,
and transferring it to the axles to make them

(07:10):
go the way they need to go.
Yeah.
And specifically, Chat-CBT mentions
it adjusts torque and speed to match the driving conditions
to make the vehicle more efficient at different speeds.
Yes.
So OK, different speeds, difference,
and especially speeds, the engine can move differently.

(07:31):
There's all that stuff.
There's tweaking of when you change gears, whatever.
There's different sized gears in there,
and they do different things.
Yes.
Whatever.
I love automatic transmissions.
I don't want to think about that.
Yeah.
Brake pads.
Well, brake pads are what you need to stop your car.

(07:54):
Yeah, I mean, that was pretty simple.
That's like, I think they use ceramic.
And really deep ceramic.
There's clay.
There's another kind of ceramic.
There's stone clay.
Basically, really well pressed together natural rock,
and it's basically just rubbing against a rotor,

(08:15):
creating friction to slow and eventually stop a vehicle.
Yes.
That one's incredibly easy.
I'm not even, well, maybe I'll look at the detailed answer.
What does Chat-CBT say?
They need to wear it out and replace heat.
Creates fixed friction.
See, I got it.
Slows or stops, like we're geniuses.
Radiator.
The radiator is what keeps your car cold.

(08:35):
It keeps you cool.
My thought was that's like with a computer,
compared to computers, it's the heat sink.
Yeah.
That's where you defer the heat to.
Yeah, dissipating heat from the coolant that circulates.
The coolant circulates through the engine,
and then the coolant goes to the radiator
and disperses the heat.
Oh, it's kind of like the way a nuclear power plant works.

(08:57):
Yes.
So like the water runs through, cools the rods,
and then the water goes to the big bully boy,
and the bully boy shoots the steam up from the water.
All right, we got this.
And then we get three-eyed fish, but OK.
Yay.
We got this.
Well, spark plug.
We already answered that one.
Yeah, spark plugs in the engine, and it ignites the fuel.
That's what combusts to make the combustible engine.

(09:20):
I'm not even going to spend any more time on that.
What about an alternator?
Alternator, now I've had many problems with alternators
in the past.
My dad's Chevy S10 back in like 91.
That's what went on it, that he just said screw it.
Yeah.
I didn't know what an alternator was until my very first car,
which was a 99 Ford Escort piece of shit.

(09:42):
I would be driving it around, and I
would smell burning wire like something was catching fire.
And I was constantly needing my car to get jumped.
Well, it turns out that the alternator was dead in my car.
Now, the alternator is a device that
charges the battery for your car and keeps that battery charged.
Yes.
So I'm assuming it takes excess energy from the engine running

(10:05):
and then converts it to electric energy
that then goes to the battery.
Yes.
OK.
So let's see if that's generates electricity
to charge the battery while the engine is running.
And then if it fails, the battery will quickly
drain, leaving the car unoperable,
just like Mike's old car.
Yeah.
All right.
See, now we're getting to something
that I'm not sure how to describe this.

(10:25):
All right.
Timing belt.
Oh, OK.
So the timing belt, my rough knowledge of it
is it's for an automatic transmission
to know when the car needs to go up another gear.
Oh, so it's almost like a test to see

(10:47):
how fast car go if car go certain speed.
Oh, no.
Me need cargo different gear.
Yeah, pretty much.
OK.
OK.
Let's see.
Let's see what's up.
Synchronizes the engine's crankshaft and camshaft,
ensuring the valves open and close at the right time.
If it breaks, the engine can suffer catastrophic damage.
Yeah.
Well, that's a failure because that's not what we said.

(11:10):
I mean, it's around about what I thought it was because.
I mean, that's not what you said, though.
Oh, fine.
Whatever.
No, that's a loss for us.
And like I said, I can't contribute anything to that.
So basically, it's making sure that the shaft,
it's making sure the shaft holes are opening and closing
at the right time.
Yes, and it makes sure that if you're.
Oh, it's like your throat.

(11:31):
It's making sure that the trachea is not
open at the same time as the esophagus
because then you'd be trying to swallow food
and then you choke on it.
Yeah, OK.
Sure.
Or you get air in your belly and then you get air belly.
Yeah.
Basically, whenever you are driving,
if you're going, you hit the gas real hard
and you could see your little thing,

(11:51):
your RPMs going up, up, up, up, up, up, up.
The timing belt is when it'll kick what right
it's supposed to kick right before you red line.
So that so that your holes aren't open
and then you get a catastrophe.
Yeah, I happen to another car of mine.
I red lined an old Cobalt of mine and shot and yeah.

(12:11):
Sounds like you've just been really vindictive
on your cars.
No, I mean, the first car we got suckered in.
Did you used to deliver pizza?
Well, yeah.
Man, people deliver pizza really mess up some cars.
Yeah, delivery is not.
Yeah, my brother was the same way.
If you're delivering pizzas, don't get a nice car.
No.
Get a beater for that.

(12:31):
Yeah.
All right.
This one feels pretty easy.
Fuel pump.
It pumps the fuel to the engine to get it combusted.
It pumps the fuel.
I mean, yeah, exactly.
Delivers fuel from the tank to the engine.
Yeah, of course.
OK, another simple one.
Axle.
It's the basically what put the holds the wheels together

(12:54):
and basically it's part of the frame of the car, essentially.
Yeah, so if you if you follow it from a straight line,
well, it's not part of the frame.
The frame is body.
Oh, yeah.
But you can't but car kit car no go with no axel.
No, you go straight line engine power engine
go transmission transmission take power go to axle.

(13:15):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, simple muffler.
That's the part of the exhaust system.
Yeah, it expels unused vapors.
Yeah, but what is the muffler?
Oh, it's supposed to be a filter to make it
a little more carbon efficient.
What else is a muffler do?
Think of the word muffles the sound of the yeah.

(13:35):
See, because the word muffler mean to muffle.
Yeah, reduces noise by dampening sound waves.
And it just directs exhaust gases safely out of the vehicle,
of course.
OK, now we're up to the one that actually inspired
this entire episode.
All right.
Differential.
Now, here we're going to this one,

(13:57):
we're going to pause the co-op portion because this one
before I had the idea for this episode,
I watched a video about how a differential works.
I have no clue.
So I know what a differential is,
and I could point it out at work on a car.
When I walk past, we're going to have a shout out,

(14:17):
when I walk past Corey's station at the service shop,
I can see it.
And I pointed it out the other day to myself.
What does it do?
Well, the base word of different, it's differentiate.
Yeah, that is a crucial component.
Does it diff, I'm assuming it differentiates

(14:38):
between using either electrical power or combustion
power for the engine.
Is that your final answer?
I'm going to have to say it's my final answer because it's
the only thing I can think of.
OK, so before I read, I'm going to go ahead and give
what I remember from the video I watched.
So basically, the differential is on, well,
with a lot of vehicle.

(14:59):
I think it's usually on the part of the vehicle that's
not the drive axle.
OK, so what?
Like front wheel drive and rear wheel drive.
So in the case of the car I was looking at,
most cars I've seen, it would be on the back, the back wheels.
And it might always be on the back wheels.
This might be something I'm misremembering.
Because sports cars are front wheel drive,
so it would be on the front, rear wheel drive,

(15:20):
so it would be on the front.
No, no, no, I'm saying I don't know if the differential is
always like that.
But that's what I'm guessing, I think.
But from the way it works is that when you're directing
the power, in this case from the front wheels to the back,
when the wheels turn, the back wheels, they don't both
need to be turned the exact same amount.

(15:41):
If you just had an axle without a differential,
they'd both turn the same, and then the car
wouldn't turn properly.
One wheel needs to be turned more than the other.
And the differential between the two wheels
is done by the different gears in the differential.
So it basically takes the momentum and displaces it.

(16:03):
It changes the amount the wheel turns.
Yeah, it changes the amount of momentum the wheel turns.
OK, so let's see.
The differential allows the wheels
to turn at different speeds, crucial for cornering.
Without it, tires would skid and wear unevenly during turns.
Ah, OK.
Yeah, see?
So that way, yeah, that's what inspired this.
And yeah, I didn't know before I watched that video.
So that one, I don't get any points for because I had looked

(16:25):
it up, and you don't get any points for it because, yeah, we
I'm a big dumb brain.
Yeah, we had no idea.
Here's one we're also going to have no idea about.
CV joint, because first thing, what does CV stand for?
We're going to guess that first.
Glutch variant?
Man, that's a really intelligent guess.

(16:47):
I mean, it's probably incredibly wrong.
But I mean, it sounds really correct.
Corner variable.
I don't know.
Combustion variant or combustion variable maybe?
It probably has nothing to do with combustion.
But I mean, hey, it could be on the piston.
I don't know.
It's a CV joint, so it's got to do something with steering.
Usually, joints and.
That would make sense.
Yeah, joints and columns usually do something with the steering.

(17:08):
And they did put it in right after differential.
Which then makes me.
I'm going to say it's clutch variant.
OK, and I'm going to say I don't know what the CV stands for,
but maybe it is something coming off the differential.
Well, let's see.
Simple answer, enables the drive shaft
to transmit power smoothly to the wheels.
OK, so it is something like a clutch.

(17:29):
Constant velocity.
Joy.
OK.
Allow the drive shaft to transmit power to the wheels
while accommodating steering and suspension movement.
Huh.
Here's another one.
We've all heard of this.
What does it do?
Catalytic converter.
It's a part of the exhaust system.
It's attached to the muffler.

(17:50):
I think it's a mistake.
And it's a filtering system.
And it's also a part of muffling the sound.
Because I know from cars, I think
cars that are 30 years or older, you can cut out the cat.
And it's still legal.
OK, so that does make sense for me.
Because I know I have purchased a catalytic converter
in my life.

(18:10):
And at one point, I did have to replace the entire exhaust
system in a car.
So that makes sense that a catalytic converter
would be exhaust. Yeah, and I think
it feels like it's at the midway point.
Or maybe.
Yeah, it's at the midway point of your exhaust system.
That's what I'm guessing.
Yeah, so apparently, I would say it converts the catalyst.

(18:32):
Or maybe it's a catalyst that converts.
Let's see what the answer is here.
This device reduces harmful emissions
by converting pollutants in the exhaust gases
into less harmful substances like carbon dioxide and water.
Bingo.
Oh, they're frequently targeted for theft
due to valuable metals inside.
Yes.
Nice.
They have copper in there.

(18:53):
Maybe?
Well, whenever you see.
Have you ever noticed on sometimes
when you start your car up and you see water dripping out
of the exhaust?
Yeah.
That's from the catalytic converter.
Oh, is it leaking out pollutants?
I mean, if it's working properly, no.
Oh, so maybe the pollutants are just sitting in the metals.
Yes, maybe.

(19:14):
That might be how it works.
Yeah, true.
All right, so we know where this is in a car.
But what does it actually do?
A strut.
Struts are attached to the axles.
Oh, no, no.
Struts are.
Which P?
Which, well, I mean, they're close to axles, if I remember.
So I'm trying to remember, are they in the front?

(19:36):
Or can I know shocks?
I know there's shocks and springs.
So I think one's up front, one's in the back.
I'm trying to remember if shocks are in the back.
Because struts are in the rear.
I think struts are in the rear.
Rear sounds fine.
They deal with.
Yeah, rear sounds fine to me, too.

(19:57):
And yeah, it's suspension.
Yeah, they deal with the dispersion
of equalizing the weight.
So like when you hit a bump, it disperses.
So like nothing's, like not everything is crashing down
at the same time.
Yeah, bing, bing, boom, boom.
Suspension go bouncy.
Yeah.
So yeah, struts are part of the suspension system.

(20:18):
Oh, it's the part that combines the shock absorber
and the coil spring.
OK.
Yeah, structural support and absorbing bumps
for a smoother ride.
OK.
So these next two are, well, the next few
are basically gimmies.
We'll just go through them quickly here.
Air filter.
Well, there's two different ones.
I mean, yeah, well, the cabin filter and the.
Yeah, the regular air.
One filters the engine air and one filters the air.

(20:40):
And then the cabin air.
Yeah, I mean, that's incredibly simple.
Oil filter.
Keeps it, it cycles through oil.
It takes impurities out of the oil.
It takes impurities out of the gas.
And it's basically the you then use that as the plug.
Yeah.
Which to drain your oil.
Yep.
Battery.
It's the thing that powers the electrical portions of your car.

(21:00):
Yeah.
Yeah, chat.
You really causes the spark plugs to have the combustion.
Yeah, that really that really threw it through us
some some softballs starter motor.
You can't start the car without it.
Yeah, I mean, it basically I would assume it takes power
from takes power from the battery
and ignite the combustion in the night.

(21:21):
The the the initial part of the combustion.
Yeah, that's the start.
Yeah, initiates combustion.
Yeah. Power steering pump.
Oh, every car modern has that like it's I mean, I would say it's
it's basically so you can control it because back in like.
Well, no, but specifically power steering pump.
Oh, it gives power steering fluid through the drive shaft.

(21:45):
Yeah. Yeah, it just injects the power steering fluid
that helps with your power steering.
Yes. Because as you were going to say back in like the 50s and 60s,
this wasn't a thing and you literally had to.
I mean, I think this goes even into the 80s like.
Yeah. When you had to or cheap, cheap cars in the 90s.
Maybe. Yeah. Oh, God.
Could you imagine driving the classic from Evil Dead movies?

(22:06):
How hard? I mean, the idea that back then,
if you were like a 70 or 80 year old trying to drive a car,
you either had to have some toned muscles.
Yeah. Or you just crashed.
Yeah. Because turning that wheel at a desperate moment.
Uh huh. Was difficult.
Yeah. But but then again, those cars were made to last.
So they. Yeah, you'd hit.

(22:27):
You'd hit a tree and just bounce off of it.
Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. Nowadays, you are crumple.
Yeah. Now, you crumple with your crumple zone. Yes, you do.
Anyway, next up, I mean, water pump.
I don't know why your water pump guys.
What is it pumping water to?
It's actually pumping water out.

(22:47):
Oh, so like it takes condensation.
It's going to take it's going to take condensation and excess water
out of your fuel tank because as we know, water is bad.
Yeah. Water bad for combustion engine. Yeah.
So does does Chachi Biti give us anything specific?
Oh, oh, see, that's weird because they call it a water pump.
But then it says the water pump circulates coolant through the engine

(23:11):
and radiator, preventing overheating.
Well, yeah, but that's very misleading.
Yeah. You don't use water anymore.
You just use actual radiator coolant. Yeah. Yeah.
And like, yeah. Yeah.
God damn it. They changed the name.
Yeah. Because I mean, I know actually, though, back in the day,
we used to just pour.
Yeah. Water and water in there.
If you had a leak in your in your radiator system.

(23:31):
Yeah. Then you would just we would just pour.
You'd stop every once in a while.
Well, when the edges started smoking and you pour water in there
until you get home and find the leak and hopefully try to fix it,
probably with poor components that would then burn through.
And then you'd have the same problem again. Yeah.
Anyway, throttle body.
That is also part of the drive system.

(23:53):
It denotes the speed at which you would go.
I mean, I'm guessing that would be like the component
that transfers what you're doing with your foot on the pedal.
Yeah. To the piston.
Yeah, I think that's yeah, you're probably right on that one.
OK, let's see. It contains the oh, the throttle body controls
the amount of air entering the engine directly affecting

(24:15):
performance and fuel efficiency.
It is regulated by the driver's throttle input with the gas pedal.
OK, so we were kind of kind of. Yeah.
OK, well, here. Yeah, here's one that I've heard a lot.
And I would I have no idea how to explain it or visualize it.
Head gasket. I know what a gasket is.
I've handled so many gaskets.

(24:36):
I just handled a couple of gaskets today.
The head gasket is the one I think it's
because you hear all the time.
Oh, they got a blown head gasket.
Got a blown gasket.
The head gasket, I think it's it definitely has to do something with,
again, the combustion, because I think it's the one that it's the gaskets.

(24:57):
The gaskets are a barrier between two metal components.
Yeah, I think it's the head gaskets, the barrier that allows
combustion to pass through easily without causing problems.
So I don't know.
That's my guess.
It allows the engine not to explode.
All right. Now, I have nothing to add to that conversation.

(25:17):
The head gasket seals the engine block and cylinder head,
preventing leaks of oil, coolant and combustion gases.
See, I was kind of right. Yeah. OK.
Yeah. So it's it's the yeah, between the engine and the cylinders.
Make it not go kaboom.
All right. Another one we've heard a lot about intake manifold.
Uh, again, definitely a part of the

(25:40):
shit. It ain't a part of the exhaust system.
It's it intakes the air
that the engine is using,
and then it gets filtered through the air filter.
That's my assumption.
OK. Intake manifold distributes air to the engine cylinders
and ensures each cylinder gets an even amount of air for combustion.

(26:01):
I was kind of right.
But you really overestimate how right you are.
Kind of. Yeah.
All right. Next one.
Turbocharger. So if something is charged charging,
I think this has to do with engine performance or speed.
Yeah, it has to deal with speed.

(26:21):
If you have a turbocharger in it, it just means your engine's going to
produce at a higher level and your car is going to go faster.
What does it do? How do cars do?
How does turbocharger do?
It puts more torque in the engine.
You use the buzzword torque
puts more torque in your piss.
Puts more torque in your pistons.
Yep. Let's let's go with that.

(26:43):
Forces extra air into the engine cylinders, increasing power output.
It uses exhaust gases to spin a turbine that compresses the intake air.
And it could also be extremely bad.
Yeah. So we definitely didn't get that one.
All right. We're getting our ass kicked.
Here we go. This is a three part suite.

(27:04):
This is. Tell me the difference.
Let's let's figure out the difference between a cam shaft,
a crankshaft and a drive shaft.
Well, driveshaft sounds like it's self-explanatory.
That's the shaft that transfers power between the axles

(27:25):
between the axle.
Well, no, between the engine and the first axle.
Yeah, the first axle.
Yeah, that that was my thought.
Driveshaft is transferring the power from the engine to the drive axle.
The crankshaft is trans.
I would say it would be the one that transfers.

(27:48):
The oh, wait, we're forgetting how things work here.
So it would be driveshaft would be transferring power
from the engine to the transmission. Yes.
Then then we're thinking crankshaft is transmission to drive axle.
Yeah. And then camshaft is maybe from one axle to other axle.

(28:08):
Yep. That's what I'm thinking of this. Oh, high five.
I love a good preemptive high five before you know you're right or wrong.
We're probably so let's see.
So the driveshaft transfers power from the transmission
to the differential in the real real.
So what we thought was the camshaft is actually the drive.

(28:29):
Yeah. OK. Then. Oh.
Oh, the crankshaft converts the linear motion of the pistons
into rotational motion for the transmission.
So crankshaft is what we thought driveshaft was. OK.
Then the camshaft controls the opening and closing of the engine's intake
and exhaust valves.

(28:50):
Its timing is crucial for engine operation.
We were very wrong.
I mean, two of our answers were correct just for a different shaft.
And then the camshaft was about an entire thing altogether.
Half a point.
We get half a point for having correct assumptions about the wrong.
Yeah, yeah, we mix them up.

(29:11):
And then we get a negative half point for completely miss.
Yeah. So we break even.
We break even at zero. Anyway, oh, to sensor.
It's it's a basic thing.
It measures the oxygen level that's in your gasoline.
But but why?
Too much oxygen with your gasoline

(29:32):
could may possibly cause a combustion in your gas tank and go boom.
But we want combustion in the gas tank.
No, we don't want combustion in the gas.
It's a combust. It's a fuel combustion in the engine.
You don't want combustion in the gas tank. Huh?
I was going to go with it's testing how much oxygen it's putting into the
gas vapor, because if you have too much oxygen,

(29:53):
you'll make too big of a boom and you'll blow your engine.
Yeah, that's essentially the same thing.
No, you said the oxygen in the tank.
I said the oxygen entering the sense, the pistons.
Try to remember where the O2 sensors actually see.
Exactly. That's what we're about to find out. All right.
Yeah. And whichever one of us is right.
One of one of us is right.
And that person will get five extra bonus points. All right.

(30:15):
Or we could both be wrong. That'd be fun.
The O2 sensor monitors the oxygen levels in the exhaust gases
to help optimize fuel air mixture and reduce emissions.
And we were both wrong.
Ooh, wait, but help optimize fuel air mixture.
That sounds a lot more like what's going in the pistons.

(30:36):
All right. You can have the bonus points.
I'll take two and a half bonus points because I was only kind of right.
All right. All right.
I knew nothing about the exhaust part of it.
All right. Wheel bearing.
Ball bearing. Oh, that's a part of the actual.
It's it's at the end of the axle.

(30:58):
So, yes. But we know bearings like ball bearings.
We're talking about ball bearings.
It's to let the it's to turn.
It helps your it helps your tire helps the wheelies turn.
No, like turn like you're turning.
I was thinking it was for the actual turning.
I'm pretty well, I mean, it helps with all kind of turning.
That's why it would be a bearing, because it would be like on an axis.

(31:19):
That way it can rotate so it can go side to side.
So like you're turning left to right and it can go forward and backward.
It's on a 360 degree axis.
So obviously, it's going to allow the wheel to go front.
So that I decide that would be why.
So that would be why it's a ball.
Yes. And then it's a ball that then allows for.
Yes, it's basically.

(31:40):
That's what I'm looking for. A gyroscope.
OK, all right, let's go with that.
And wheel bearings allow the wheels to rotate smoothly
while supporting the vehicle's weight.
See, that makes me feel like I'm more right,
because I literally said it was for the just the rotation.
The wheels go rotation had nothing to do with turning.

(32:01):
Seems like I'm I mean, we're doing co-op.
So we either both win or both lose.
I think we're both kind of losing right now. Exactly.
But I feel like one of us has to win more than the other one
or one of us has to lose more than the other one.
And on that specific answer, I won more.
Yeah, of course.
I won one one point one points and you.

(32:25):
Had point five, six points.
Yeah, that's probably all the points I have so far.
No, we got a lot of points together.
All right, here's here's something I've literally never heard of.
EGR valve.
I mean, it seems like it would EGR seems like it'd be a
a thousand mile long.

(32:46):
But what's the word I'm looking for?
Shortening of word.
Yeah, it's an acronym.
Acronym for energy.
It's EGR is an acronym, and that's not how an acronym works.
Or no, I meant like an acronym would be three.
The letters each correspond to a word.
Electric gyroscopic rotation.

(33:07):
No. And sadly, Chachi B.T.
spoiled this one for me.
So we'll continue with its exhaust gas recirculation valve.
Oh, so what it do exhaust gas recirculation.
I would assume it would just if it's not too toxic, it just recirculates

(33:27):
the gases back into the engine for reuse.
I'm going to say the exact opposite that it recirculates gas
that has too many pollutants to get more out of them.
OK, let's see. Let's see if we're both wrong.
Reduces nitrogen oxide emissions by recirculating a portion

(33:48):
of exhaust gas back into the engine.
I was kind of right.
We were both kind of right.
Half point. Yeah, because I said it.
I said it would it there was a thing it needed to get rid of.
And you said it would recirculate back to the engine.
So, yeah, we were both there together.
We earn one point. Yay.
Hooray. Cooperative times.

(34:09):
Anyway, what's a tie rod?
And not tie rod tailor.
We're not talking about time.
It's definitely it's the last part of the axle.
I think it's the one that hooks the tire onto the axle.
Oh, it ties the wheel to the to the axle.
That's what I think it is. OK.
I have no other guesses, so we're going to be going with yours.

(34:29):
Yeah, this is basically wrong.
This is basically are you smarter than a fifth grader?
And you're my student. Oh, that I'm choosing.
So both of our fates are tied to your answer.
Are you ready? Yeah.
Are you ready for that pressure?
No. Are you ready to carry both of us on your back?
Even? Well, I'm on your back and you're carrying just yourself.

(34:51):
You are your own back. Fuck it. Let's do it.
Yay. Let's see what a tie rod is.
Connects the steering rack to the wheels, enabling precise steering.
Quarter of a point.
I mean, the word wheels is in there, I guess.
So it's sort of kind of there.
Anyway, control arm.

(35:12):
OK, so the control arm is going to be the arm that can.
It's the component that controls the arm.
This the I'm going to say it controls how the wheels turn and
or controls the speed of the wheels.
It's either or. Hmm.
Control arm. I honestly think it controls turning.

(35:33):
It has to deal with turning.
I think it connects to the tie rod and it's the thing.
Yeah, that connects the tie rod to the actual wheels,
links the suspension to the car's frame.
Oh, God, we were way off.
Allowing the wheels to move up and down while maintaining stability.
Yeah, we we. That's that's completely off.

(35:55):
Yeah.
Hey, what about brake caliper?
Oh, shit, I know this because I've changed brakes before.
Yeah, I have as well. Caliper.
What's a caliper do?
I believe a caliper is what holds the brake pad on.
Yes, the calipers are what hold the pad to the rotor.
Yeah, I think so.

(36:16):
Caliper houses the brake pads and presses them against the rotor to create friction.
Yep. We got that one perfectly and completely correct.
We've actually changed brakes before. Yeah, I have a couple of times.
Yeah, that's it.
It was never fun because the portion leading up to that involved almost crashing.
Yeah, because you went too long without changing your brakes.

(36:39):
Hooray. OK, here's it here.
This this is an easy one. Fuel injector.
It injects fuel into the fuel pump, which does it.
No, wait.
Fuel pump probably pumps into the injector and the injector pumps it into the engine.
Yeah, it pumps it into the into the piston space.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
And I'm pretty sure the fuel injector is also what controls the level,

(37:04):
the amount of fuel, the amount of fuel that it's putting in.
Yes. And the balance of like fuel and air.
Yeah.
Sprays fuel directly in the combustion chamber or intake manifold in precise amounts.
Dirty injectors are what control the fuel.
Amounts dirty injectors can lead to poor engine performance,
which is why I would always buy fuel injector cleaner.
Yep. That you'd put into your gas.

(37:25):
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. See, that's it's got to throw us a softball.
Oh, and by the time this episode comes out, I would like to remind all of you listeners
to please get some fuel injector cleaner because it will be winter up here in the up
here in the north and also get some of that other stuff.
I can't remember what it's called, but it helps limit water in your gas tank.

(37:46):
Yes. So you don't get ice crystals.
Do as Mike says and get some stuff for the thing.
The stuff just put the dry gas.
It's called dry gas. Get dry gas.
Oh, I've never heard of that.
Yeah. You put it in your gas tank and it's supposed to help absorb water molecules.
That way it does not. You don't get ice crystals in your fuel.

(38:06):
Ta-da. Ta-da.
Car tips from Mike. It's great.
Anyway, what's an ABS module?
ABS module, as we all know, ABS stands for anti-lock brake system.
So that relegates.
So how do you how do anti-lock brakes work?

(38:27):
When you if you have to come to a hard, complete stop,
your brakes don't lock back in.
Go back as early as the early 90s.
If you would hit your brakes too hard, your brakes would lock
and you'd literally have to sit there and wait for them to cool down enough to release.
Yeah. And didn't that mean that they would actually tell you to pump your brakes?

(38:49):
Yes. Rather than hold it down. Yes.
Yeah. So now you can just literally slam your brakes as hard as you want.
Well, you shouldn't do that either.
Well, you shouldn't.
And I always start stopping long before anything where I need to stop.
And that's why you drive defensively so that you don't wear out your car faster.
Bingo. Yeah.
So I would just assume that the module that makes the anti-lock brakes not lock.

(39:14):
Yeah, it basically.
Yeah, it relegates brake pressure you put on.
OK. Thank you.
See, those are some great direct exacting words.
Regulates brake pressure.
Let's see. Let's see how it does.
Yeah. Prevents the wheels from locking down during hard braking,
improves vehicle control and reduces stopping distances on slippery surfaces.

(39:35):
Honestly, I think you get two points for that,
because you were more specific. Thank you.
Even though we don't have exact knowledge that what you said
meant anything, but it sounded correct.
Well, even though when you're going down a slippery slope, you're still
you should still pump your brakes instead of. Yeah.
Well, holding on to them, because then you know, that is that is good advice
to never overreact.

(39:57):
Yeah. To anything you're doing when you're like in a potential
dangerous situation with a car.
Don't slam your brakes. Don't swerve.
Do things as as under reactive as possible.
And you'll end up probably in a much safer position.
I mean, unless there's a meteor coming directly down in front of you,
then maybe slam that wheel, maybe hit your emergency brake.

(40:19):
Yeah. Anyway, just put your car to the nearest tree if you see that meteor.
Because either way, you're going out in a fiery ball of hellscape.
All right. Here's an incredibly hard one, Michael.
I mean, you should just throw your brain in the toilet
because there's no way you're going to get this. Oh, no.
Windshield washer pump.
Oh, no, I have no idea.

(40:40):
No, we're just ending this episode right now and we're ending the podcast
and we're both going to throw ourselves off cliff.
Wait, no, I might have an idea.
Oh, wait, wait, wait. Do you think, you know, I might have an idea.
All right. Give it to us.
It pumps your windshield washer fluid directly
to the nozzles that are attached to your windshield.
So you clean your windshield.

(41:01):
Oh, my God. I where did you get that from?
It came to me in a vision.
Yeah. Chachy BT really dropped the ball on
the ordering of these that I asked it to do because I said to put,
you know, easier to harder and it threw that one in at number 36.
OK, wonderful.

(41:24):
Then now we go to steering knuckle, which I've literally
I deal with a lot of parts at work.
The knuckles attached to the ball joint.
I know that much. Ah.
And then the ball joint would be part of the.
Yeah. Yeah. The steering system, steering system.
So but but I do a lot of stuff like, well, let's just say we work
and we work in a parts.

(41:45):
Yeah, we get a lot of knuckles in all the time.
But we work in a parts department.
Yeah, I will say looking at the descriptions of items.
I've never seen this.
I've never seen the words steering knuckle.
I've ordered a few. OK.
Well, maybe it's one of those things where when I'm looking at parts,
the company kind of like has a slightly weird descriptive

(42:06):
descriptive word in the system for it.
Well, yeah, I mean, GM parts are going to be named certain things
and then Honda parts are going to be named.
It could be named something different. Yeah. And.
What have we ever known a corporation to not be,
you know, confusing when it comes to their own systems?
Yeah, we could tell a lot of stories about that one.

(42:26):
Maybe that's an episode for the future.
Yep. Retail hell.
That that could be an episode.
Yes. Stories of retail hell.
And can we top them with our own? Yep.
Anyway, steering knuckle, you kind of said a thing
connects the suspension components and steering linkage to the wheel hub.
It allows for wheel rotation and steering movement.

(42:49):
Well, yeah, half a point.
Yeah, I mean, it connects the the steering to the to the wheels.
Yeah, in a way.
Yes, a part of that line from A to B.
Clutch master cylinder.
I've replaced one of these as well.
Is this I'm going to assume this is basically for manual cars, correct?

(43:10):
I don't know. I haven't looked at the answer yet.
Clutch master cylinder.
I basically my guess is going to be it's for manual cars
and it is the master control for the clutch. It's.
Oh, yeah, because the word clutch doesn't really come in much in operating.
Yeah. I mean, an automatic. Yeah.
But there could. But that's the thing, though.

(43:31):
This thing could be the thing that's doing the clutch portion.
Oh, you know what? You stick. You stick with your answer.
I'm going to say that the master clutch master cylinder
is doing the thing you used to do with the clutch pedal,
but it's doing it for you in an automatic. OK.
So OK, we have opposing answers here. Yes, we do.
Let's see what's going on. The clutch master cylinder converts

(43:54):
the driver's pedal input into hydraulic pressure,
which engages and disengages the clutch.
I was sort of right. Yeah.
I yeah, I think that means yeah, for clutch operation,
converts pedal pressure in the hydraulic force.
No, I think you change your gears. Yeah.
I think you were fully right because it mentioned pedals. Yeah.

(44:15):
Yeah. OK. Sweet.
So I think that would be something you would find in like some of the sports cars.
Sports cars, your big rigs, anything dealing with a clutch,
anything that has a clutch, you're going to have to deal with that.
OK. Yeah. All right. So here. Yeah.
So we're on to our final two.
And yeah, I don't I've heard of both of these.
I have no idea. So let's see. Let's see what you know.

(44:36):
Harmonic balancer.
Pass. Yeah. So harmonic.
So we have harmony.
We're trying to keep things in harmony, balancing harmonies.
I'm thinking that's something new with vibrations.
Yeah. I'm going to either guess it's got to do something with either.
It's dispense. It's the dispersion of energy from bumps and potholes.

(44:59):
Yes, I was thinking maybe it's creating a harmony by balancing the
the bumpiness between the sides of the car.
Yeah. Side to the other. Yeah.
So like it's dispersing it between the shocks and the struts.
OK, so you're saying from front to back. Yeah.
I'm saying from left to right. OK.
It could be both or it could be one of the other.

(45:20):
Let's see. Or it's going to be neither.
This component reduces all we're both wrong.
Yeah, I figured this component reduces engine vibration
and ensures the crankshaft operates smoothly.
It is especially critical in high revving engines.
So the cars. Yeah.
So the harmony it's balancing is the vibration from the engine.

(45:42):
OK, not from bumpy.
Should have think should have thought about harmony, vibrations, vibrato.
I should have. Yeah, I mean, I did.
But I assumed it was the vibration of bumpy booze.
Yeah, it wasn't bumpy booze. It was.
It was room. Yeah, it was room. It's room from the bumpy booze. OK.
So here's our final part for this long body of our podcast today.

(46:03):
The sway bar. Oh, this has nothing to do
with a hot, sexy woman swaying her butt to cheeks.
At a bar. It is a car part.
And what does it do?
I'm going to go back to it has to deal with steering.
Sway bar.
So the sway of the steering.

(46:24):
Yeah, that's what I'm going to say.
I'm going to say it's going to be this.
I'm going to say it's attached to the steering column and it has to deal with
steel, it has to deal with stabilizing, stabilizing your steering.
Yeah. You know what?
I'm going to steal my answer from the last one.
I think this has to do with sway of the bumpies left to right.
All right. Let's see.

(46:45):
The sway bar.
Oh, the sway bar, also called an anti roll bar,
connects the suspension on opposite sides of the car
to reduce body roll during cornering.
No bumpy booze.
The bumpy booze on the side to side.
I got that one completely right.

(47:05):
There you go. There we go.
Pretty much. Yeah.
We'll give it to you.
That was my greatest victory in this episode.
Yes. Yeah. OK.
Your greatest victory was.
Well, probably the knuckle.
Yeah. Well, I kind of think yours.
Oh, and the ABS system.
Yeah, I kind of think yours is just general knowledge that you have about cars.
No, the greatest victory.
The washer pump.

(47:26):
Oh, my God. Yeah.
I mean, I was completely lost on that one.
I had no clue.
That's the greatest victory.
I think we're going to windshield washer pump.
I think we're going to etch that on your tombstone.
He knows what to do.
He knows what washer do, washer pump do.
OK. Yeah.
So that means that that was a fun game, I think.
Oh, yeah.
And I feel like we made asses of ourselves enough.

(47:48):
Yeah, we definitely did.
We'll absolutely have to post this to like our slash
our our automation garage boys.
Yeah, no. Put this every use this episode in your vocational schools
to don't be like these idiots.
Oh, yeah. This is like dump Goofus and Galant.

(48:09):
Yeah. Yeah.
If you remember that from Highlights magazine in your dentist office.
Oh, God. Yeah.
So like basically every subreddit has to do with auto repair.
Like we need to put this on there.
Yeah. Like, don't listen to this.
We need to post this everywhere.
If you want a good laugh about people who don't know shit about cars,
listen to this. Yeah.
And make sure you comment telling us how dumb we are.

(48:29):
We'll love it. Yeah, because we know we know.
Yeah. So just a couple of little things here.
I wanted to ask, actually, you know what?
This portion we are done with the we're done with the co-op portion.
This is now because you work primarily more in auto body parts.
Yeah. And I'm going to ask you.
Oh, no, this is a lightning round.

(48:50):
So you need to be quick. All right.
Five specific questions related to automotive body repair.
You got it. What is the purpose of a quarter panel
and how is it typically replaced or repaired in a collision?
The purpose of the quarter panel is it's the it's the quarter side of the of the
of the car which houses the door.

(49:10):
It houses the door. Yeah.
Where's it at? Where's it located?
Either side, left or right side of the car.
But where? It's usually passenger side.
No, but where located between where the driver?
It's located between the front of the car and the back of the car.
No, it's located between the rear door and the trunk or tailgate. Yes.
In a collision, how do they how do they how do they fix it?

(49:32):
You cut it off and you replace it with a new one.
It OK. I mean, I'll give that I'll give that part of it to you.
You'll weld it. Yeah, you'll weld it and replace it with fillers. Yes.
All right. Cool.
How does a technician determine whether a bumper cover
needs to be repaired or completely replaced?
Just citing damage, scratches, breaks, cracks.
You aren't reading off this thing, are you? No.
Oh, my God. You like put so many keywords in.

(49:54):
Yeah, breaks or scratches or cracks.
How if it's dented, if it's massively dented, if it snapped it fucking half.
Oh, my God, you're a fucking genius.
What steps are involved in ensuring a color match during paint refinishing,
especially for metallic or pearl finishes?
You got to match paint numbers to the VIN.

(50:16):
I mean, they use specialized color matching software.
I mean, we have a boy that does that for us. Yeah.
But you usually match it. You have to find you have the every car
is going to have a specific paint that matches the VIN.
You have to match. Yeah. And what do you have to do?
Yeah. So what else do you have to account for in that?
Depending on if it's got sparklies in it or not.
Lighting, aids of the vehicle and type of paint.

(50:36):
But I'll give it to you. You're amazing.
What tools and techniques are used to remove dents without damaging the paint,
as in paintless dent repair, rubber mallets, suction cups and shit?
I don't know. There was a third one.
All right. Not giving you that one.
Tools like rods and picks to gently push the dent out from the inside of the panel.

(50:58):
Rod. Rod and pick. All right.
You're only down one, but you're so far ahead.
You think you can get the last one for the win.
What are the structural considerations when repairing or replacing
a vehicle's A pillar after an accident?
I have no clue. Yeah. What's an A pillar?
We've never had to deal. I have not had to deal with that yet.

(51:20):
And you know why you haven't? Why?
Because Jeff or that other guy does.
Oh, it's for glass.
It's critical to the vehicle.
Structural integrity and supports the windshield repairs or replacements
must restore the factory weld points, maintain alignment and comply
with OEM specifications to ensure safety.
Now bring it all home by telling me what OEM stands for.

(51:43):
Oh, Michael.
Fuck. Michael OEM.
I thought this was a softball order.
No, no.
Oh, my God.
You've been exposed. Operational.
No. Fuck.
What is OEM?
OEM is your specific parts.

(52:04):
GM parts are GM.
Like when you get OE for GM, you get GM parts.
When you get OEM for Hyundai, you get Hyundai parts.
So what's OEM stand for?
It's not order.
Oh, God. Oh, no.
This is I don't think I've ever asked.
Oh, God.
This is like when I found out that the OEM is not an order.

(52:24):
I found out that K's Jewelers, every kiss begins with K.
Yes, it begins with K, like K, K-A-Y.
But it also stands for K because K is the letter that starts with kiss.
Operational.
No.
I don't know.
Oh, my God. It's original equipment manufacturer.
Oh, God. I never asked.
I think I knew that.

(52:45):
But because I read it here, I can't tell you if I actually knew it.
Yeah.
But I think I did because OEM is the original parts.
Yes.
And you had to make the car in the first place.
Yes.
And when you replace the parts, you either get OE.
Aftermarket.
Or aftermarket.
Or in some cases, refurbished.
Salvage.
Salvage. Yeah, that's the worst.

(53:06):
We could do an entire thing about OE versus aftermarket versus salvage.
Yes, we could.
And how insurance companies are the worst.
Yes.
OK, so that was Auto Body.
Here's some extra bonus nuggets that Chachibetee wanted us to know.
Let's hear it.
Modern cars use a mix of steel, aluminum, carbon fiber, and plastics.

(53:30):
Mostly plastics.
The idea that aerodynamics in body design are engineered for fuel
performance and efficiency.
That's common knowledge.
There are certain body shops that are now using 3D scanners.
And I bet you the next thing is going to be 3D printing of body parts.
I've always talked about that.

(53:50):
I mean, that'd be pretty cool.
But then wouldn't that make you out of a job?
I'll just learn how to 3D print, bro.
Yeah.
Self-healing paints.
I've heard of this one.
A clear coat that can repair minor scratches when exposed to heat.
That's actually pretty interesting.
That'd be pretty cool.
Haven't seen it at work yet.
No, no, no.
The unsung heroes are seam sealers and undercoating.

(54:12):
I always thought that was a scam.
While not glamorous, seam sealers and undercoatings
play a crucial role in preventing rust and reinforcing the vehicle's structure.
Hey, that's what another coworker just had done to their new car.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Yeah, there's some other stuff here.
But I think we're in a good place to stop.
Yeah.
So hope you guys find this hilarious because we're morons when it comes to this.

(54:38):
I absolutely want every mechanic in the world to get a good chuckle.
And then give us a discount on auto repairs.
Yes, please.
If you fix my car and do it for a decent amount of money and don't screw me over,
I'll bring you chocolate.
And we'll give you a shout out.
I mean, there is that too.
But I mean, we get our car.
We'll promote your business.
We technically get our cars fixed at the place where we work.

(55:00):
Yeah.
And they give us a discount because we work there.
Yes.
But.
Somebody else was to give us a better discount.
Yeah.
I mean, if we get fired for gross incompetence at some point.
Like, yeah, after they listen to this podcast, it's a very big possibility.
Oh, yeah.
No.
Somebody at another dealership that I went to pick apart from absolutely found it

(55:20):
hilarious when I admitted to them that I know almost nothing about any of the parts
I'm picking up.
So they like to bring it up.
And well, hey, I'm the one who told them.
So, oh, what have we done to ourselves?
We're going to expose it to the world.
How fun is that?
All right.
So I feel like we won by giving chuckles to the world.
Yeah.
That's another win in the column in the humans.

(55:43):
No, that's a win for us.
But I'm going to ask you directly the list all the content that's been provided for us.
What grade do you?
Mike, a grade do you give chat GPT for today's episode?

(56:06):
See.
For CDs, nuts.
You.
Hey, are you still listening?
Are you still out there?
Did you enjoy whatever stupid stuff we just talked about?
Why don't you subscribe to us?
Follow us.
I think that's what Spotify does.
If it's on there.
If it's not just like this, whatever.

(56:29):
I don't know.
Maybe this is a clip on Instagram.
Who knows?
Just wherever it's at.
Do something with it.
Engage.
And if your brains haven't fully turned into mushroom listening to us for the past hour,
make some suggestions in the comments for ideas, episodes, whatever thoughts on things.
If there's comments and if not, yeah, like I said, if we haven't turned your brains to

(56:50):
mush yet, please do so.
Leave a comment if you can.
If not, email us at windbreaker media at gmail.com.
It's all one word.
I know you don't want to get into it.
You weren't getting to the email.
Chat GPT and I appreciate brevity.
Fuck you and chat GPT.

(57:10):
No swearing.
We'll see you all next time.
God damn it.