July 7, 2025 • 43 mins
Kayla and Vanessa dive into a candid conversation about toxic traits, emotional baggage, and how we can acknowledge our flaws while still being fabulous.
• Examining toxic traits we're aware of but not working on, including people-pleasing and emotional avoidance
• Discussing inherited toxic traits from family members and how they shape our relationships
• Reflecting on whether we're where we thought we'd be in life versus current reality
• Exploring how one different choice can completely change life's trajectory
• Embracing the freedom to be "selfish" at this stage of life without children or major responsibilities
• Finding humor in our flaws while acknowledging areas for potential growth
We're always striving to build an authentic community where we can share our real selves. Connect with us on social media and let us know what toxic traits you're embracing or working on in your life.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You asked for this.
You pushed me.
Here you go, buckle up, getready.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
You asked for this.
Don't cry now.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Welcome back everybody to Milk and Honey.
We always introduce ourselves.
We'll do it again.
In case you've forgotten, I'mKayla Becker and I'm Vanessa
Curry.
Yeah, so now we ended lastweek's episode talking about
like urinating and places, butalso teasing that we were going
to talk a little bit about liketoxic traits and emotional
(00:35):
baggage things that we all have,whether we want to admit it or
not but we can still be a goodtime at brunch, though, so yeah,
we're gonna talk about, likepersonality flaws, that uh, we
rebranded uh and called themboundaries boundaries, right,
we're all trying to learn tohave boundaries.
Like I told you, know y'all,last week I did start therapy,
so I'm still trying, like we.
It's all about growth, yes,right, and acknowledging what
(00:58):
might be wrong with us.
I don't think that's like thephrase that alejandro likes me
to use.
There's nothing wrong with us,there's just room to grow.
Exactly, exactly so we're goingto ask each other some questions
.
This is almost like we'reletting you kind of inside of,
like the living room right now,of a Vanessa and Kayla
conversation that we normallywould have after three glasses
of wine, but right now she'sdrinking a latte, yep.
(01:20):
So when we ask these questionsto ourselves, maybe turn to your
friend or your family member,your dog, and ask them the same
question.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
I love that Right.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
So I think we're just going to get right into it.
We're going to talk about sometoxic traits, okay, yep, so
what's a toxic trait that you're?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
fully aware of and absolutely not working on.
Okay, so I guess I'm I'm tryingto work on it.
So I don't know, but I havetrouble just saying yes to
everything.
And it's not because I haveFOMO, yeah, it's just.
I genuinely want to say yes andI want to have all the energy
in the world to go do somethingand even if, for some reason, it
(02:03):
like doesn't sometimes, even ifit doesn't feel right I know I
should be saying no, but I stillsay yes.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
And I really do want to try and work on that.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
But she's not going to, and that's okay.
I just like being with mypeople.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
I know I struggle with that too.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I'm like you know.
There's some days it's like youdon't need to go out for
everything.
We're trying to save money inthis economy.
Going out and getting a vodkasoda in West Hollywood is $18.
And it's like we're trying tobuild a future.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Well, and also I mean , here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
It's like we used to do that growing up.
I don't know why we're notdoing it now.
Right, I'm like.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Bring back flasks Exactly.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
I agree.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
They have so many different types.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
They have bras.
You can fill up your bra withliquid.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
They have tampons, like fake tampons that you can
put shots in the tampons.
Really I swear I had them, notlike growing up, like before you
could drink vodka, and thenyou'd insert it because not?
Speaker 1 (03:06):
you'd like insert in your butt, though I think, oh my
god, I never did this.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
I heard this and I might be.
I was like wait, did you trythis?
Speaker 1 (03:09):
I might be telling it wrong, because I don't know
which way up up the front wouldhurt, but it gets into your
system quicker.
So then you get drunker faster,and so kids used to do this at
parties.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I have never heard of that.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Kids do not try this at home, but if you do, please
let us know how it goes.
Um, okay, one of my toxictraits yeah, that I am fully
aware of and that my friendsmake me more aware of, that I'm
absolutely not working on is mylack of, and and my disgust of,
like raw emotions.
Like I know, I'm veryemotionally immature, so I dare
(03:43):
anybody to try to do somethingabout it.
I'm talking to you, alejandro.
Okay, I don't like emotions,but I'm reading a book right now
called adult children ofimmature parents or something.
Wow, I love that you rememberedthat title.
I may have butchered it, butit's basically like telling me,
like why I'm like that, andmaybe, mom and dad, maybe we
should sit down and talk, okay,anyway, speaking of that, what's
(04:04):
a toxic trait you inheritedfrom your family?
But now you wear like apersonality necklace.
Oh, want me to go first?
Yeah, so, speaking of my family, I have this ability to
disappear from people's livesand never go back.
I think it's because, for thosewho don't know, I was raised in
(04:25):
a foster home.
So, at nine years old, gettingripped away from one family and
thrown into another, I gotreally accustomed to knowing how
to like say goodbye and likeshut off the emotions behind it.
So there's been plenty ofpeople in my life, family and
friends included.
If we get to I don't, you donot serve me anymore in my
mental health.
I will cut you off and I don'teven think about you again.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
I can just, I can just like pluck you out from my
which is great for your ownmental health, but not so much
for theirs, probably, and it's areally bad habit.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
I should try to like work through, but it's easier to
forget than to deal with it.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
I think something that I've taken from my family
specifically, like honestly,like my mom, where she is
friends with everyone she shereally is, and there's groups
sometimes that don't get alongwith somebody else, even till
this day, like adults, you know,like things like that, um, and
I think people hate on her,sometimes secretly, like they
(05:20):
don't let her know because mymom's so amazing and like
everyone loves her, duh, but,but it is something where some
people I'm sure would say, oh,you see everyone's side, so you
don't even have your own side,like you don't even know what
you're talking about.
And it's like I do that too.
I really genuinely try to seeboth sides.
I try to talk to people about asituation rather than just like
(05:42):
cutting them off.
You know, I want to know, Iwant to be able to cut you off
because it's my choice, becauseI've heard and seen all the
cards lay it out on the table.
So it is.
It is something where I thinkpeople are like, oh well, you
just like everybody and dah, dah, dah, dah, do you?
Speaker 1 (06:00):
believe in that phrase A friend to all is a
friend to none, yeah.
So I think that's one Could beit too.
I don't think that's what youdo either.
I do, I do.
I watch this firsthand, evenwith people that we know you do
try to see everyone's side andgive everyone the opportunity to
show their true colors and howthey feel, but then yeah, just
(06:20):
say their side of the story.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
And here's the thing Someone Just say their side of
the story.
And here's the thing Someone inmy friend group could tell me
their side of the story and Icould still not agree with it.
I'm not going to come at youaggressively about it, but I
will say, yeah, like this is aconcern and I want to hear you
out because obviously the peoplein my life I love I don't just
have random people in my circle,Not anymore you know.
So everyone in there isimportant Good Whew.
(06:44):
So everyone in there isimportant.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
That was our toxic trait Whoa.
I feel like we need a shot.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
I know we should have , yeah, we should have, but no,
this is a toxic trait is that wedrink to suppress our feelings.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
So we're not doing that.
It's gross.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
No, where is the flask?
We need the flask.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Okay, I don't know about unhinged life plans
because I don't know, but lifehas thrown me for an absolute
fucking curveball this last year, do you think?
I mean, and also we need togive ourselves credit For us at
this point in our life we'vedone a lot of really cool stuff
and we've made it really far.
Where do you think you'dactually be right now If you
(07:22):
were like are you where youthought you would be?
Los Angeles, west Hollywood.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Some parts, some parts I feel like I am, but I
feel like there's so much morefor me to do.
And yeah, I mean the last withthe strike you know the actress
strike and the fires this yearyou know that was this year, and
just let's not forget that youknow um, just, there's just been
a lot going on in the last Ifeel like two and a half years
(07:51):
I've been in this.
I feel like I'm in like a Tumblrof different emotion and trying
to get, and sometimes my footcomes out but then it goes back.
So, no, I wouldn't say that Iam where I think I thought I'd
be a little bit further in mycareer, not to say not to take
(08:11):
anything away from my career.
I've had an amazing career.
I've been on billboards, I'vebeen on TV, I've been on movies,
I've been on sets that havechanged my life, you know.
But not to say that those lullscan't happen and you start to
revert back to that person whereyou're like am I supposed to be
doing this?
That imposter syndrome, yeah,kicks in real quick what about
(08:33):
taking out the career?
Speaker 1 (08:34):
even like thinking about, like, like growing up.
For me, growing up in a smalltown where, like people,
graduated high school at 18, gotmarried, popped out two kids,
working at whatever you know,like I think that's something
what's interesting Cause I thinkwhen I was younger I thought,
for sure, by the age I'm 34.
Now I would have never.
I would never have said that at34, I would not be married, I
(08:55):
would not own a house and Iwould still be out until 2am at
the bar on a weekend, Right,Like that's what's kind of crazy
.
I mean, life is just differentnow than it was back then.
It's a different time, it's adifferent reality than small
town Alabama to Los Angeles,California.
But that's something I thinknine year old Kayla would have
been like yo what?
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yes, you ain't married yet, bitch Right?
No, I definitely think 13 yearold me is literally saying how
freaking cool I am Because I dolike I love who I am.
I love who I am still becoming.
But it's hard, it's a challenge.
(09:34):
But I do think that the13-year-old me who tried to lie
about things I was never a goodliar, okay, I just.
I had to learn that at a, atsomewhat of a teenager life
moment that like just, you'renot a good liar, like I'm not.
So when I learned how to not dothat and just tell the truth
(09:57):
because sometimes speaking thetruth to people is a lot harder
than telling a lie but then thelies start to add up and start
forgetting the lies, and theyall get mixed up in each other.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
I know I'm not a bad liar too.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
I'm not a good liar.
You put me on a lie detector.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Some people can trick a lie detector.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Those are some like those are some.
That's a terrifying.
I don't think I'd want thatperson in my friend group who
can trick a lie detector.
No, yeah, I have like probablyso many tells yeah and.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
I've gotten really good at being able to have those
hard conversations even ifthey're uncomfortable, but
coming at it to a place withgrace and compassion.
I just I try don't get me wrongOnce I pop off, it's hard to go
back in, but it takes a lot forme to pop off.
(10:43):
Same, same, same.
Yeah, when it happens.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
It's funny, I was like arguing with an ex and they
were way more of like they'reway more of a communicator than
I am, and so I'll listen.
I'll sit there and listen andI'm sorry.
You're really good at that,I'll sit there, I'll sit there,
and then I keep going.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
You keep poking the bear, poking the bear.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
I remember one time I didn't even have words.
I went from being quiet to likeah, like I just yelled, I was
like it just popped off.
And then it was like devil,like you, just you asked for
this, you pushed me.
Here you go, buckle up, getready.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
The horror you asked for this Yep.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
The horror, kayla comes out, don't cry it out and
just to be clear, she's sayinghorror, not whore Kayla.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Yes, whore-er, that's a different time.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I'll put that number on the screen if you're looking
for her 1-800.
1-800.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
You finish the rest.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
So we were talking about this earlier.
But it is funny how life youknow what's there're saying Tell
God your plans and he'll laughwhatever.
Like nothing ever turns out theway that you think.
Yep, but it's almost like lifeis such a choose, your own
adventure, like if you take thispath, this could be how it ends
, and vice versa, Like one onedifferent choice in what you
made can completely change thetrajectory of your life, like
(12:04):
one for me.
I was engaged like 10 years agoand it's so fun, I mean great
guy and he's very.
He's happily married with achild now.
So happy for him.
But I'm like what if I hadactually gone through with this
engagement, living in the desert, I'd probably be barefoot and
pregnant, probably wouldn't beworking, definitely wouldn't
have met.
You had this podcast.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Like it's just so funny to think how one different
choice in our lives can justdeter the entire plan Absolutely
.
I think about sometimes I had anex and I could have an 18 year
old child right now, but itdidn't happen that way and, um,
I am forever grateful, like youknow, obviously.
I know I would have been agreat mom and I would have
figured it out, and I know Iwould have had the help that I
needed and the support.
But I can't imagine till thisday if that would have went the
(12:54):
path, yeah, and still had thatperson in my life, yeah, oh, my
God, it honestly like makes mesick to my stomach, like thank
goodness it didn't happen thatway.
You know what I mean.
I just and so that is somethingwhere, yeah, I don't, we
probably wouldn't be here rightnow and trying to make this
(13:15):
dream happen, you know, becausenow my life doesn't matter, it's
this person's life and that'sthe type of mom I will be one
day when, I have a child, like,okay, not that my life is over,
it's never over but now thisthing right here.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Now you can focus on this, because you've done the
things that you've wanted to do,yeah, and then you're not going
to resent this thing.
Yes, you know, yes.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Absolutely, and I still love being able to go out
on a Wednesday, you know, withKayla or somebody else, and we
get home at 2 am and it's aWednesday, I know and we're just
like okay, but we can Like, wedon't have to worry about like
any you know thing to go homeand take care of, and that's
needing you, of course.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
You can just kind of and it's like we are choosing to
be selfish at this point in ourlives because we can and we did
make that decision, which Ithink is you know me growing up
with a mom who still wanted todo what we're doing, but also
have kids at home, and so thataffected me very.
You know deeply, right on herpart to do which I think we're
just doing things.
Romeo and Michelle, don't getmad at you when you come home.
(14:17):
No, my cats love it becausethey know the second, they get
the house to themselves.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
And then I come home and they meow at me until the
day I die.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
They are obsessed.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
They are the queens of the house.
Okay, we're talking about mycats by the way.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Yes, oh my God, we're not children or anything like
that.
They're meowing at you at 2am.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Uh, no, the best part is I had, uh, the first time I
met a friends of mine and wewere at we were in Palm Springs,
uh at a friend's house, andthey kept saying, oh, we got to
go back to the other house.
They were staying at theirbrother's house and they were
like, oh, we gotta go back tothe other house and feed the
baby and I said I'm sorry youhave a baby at the other house.
(15:02):
No-transcript no-transcript.
You asked for this.
You pushed me.
Here you go, buckle up, getready.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
You asked for this.
Don't cry now.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Welcome back everybody to Milk and Honey.
We always introduce ourselves.
We'll do it again.
In case you've forgotten, I'mKayla Becker and I'm Vanessa
Curry.
Yeah, so now we ended lastweek's episode talking about
like urinating and places, butalso teasing that we were going
to talk a little bit about liketoxic traits and emotional
(00:35):
baggage things that we all have,whether we want to admit it or
not but we can still be a goodtime at brunch, though, so yeah,
we're gonna talk about, likepersonality flaws, that uh, we
rebranded uh and called themboundaries boundaries, right,
we're all trying to learn tohave boundaries.
Like I told you, know y'all,last week I did start therapy,
so I'm still trying, like we.
It's all about growth, yes,right, and acknowledging what
(00:58):
might be wrong with us.
I don't think that's like thephrase that alejandro likes me
to use.
There's nothing wrong with us,there's just room to grow.
Exactly, exactly so we're goingto ask each other some questions
.
This is almost like we'reletting you kind of inside of,
like the living room right now,of a Vanessa and Kayla
conversation that we normallywould have after three glasses
of wine, but right now she'sdrinking a latte, yep.
(01:20):
So when we ask these questionsto ourselves, maybe turn to your
friend or your family member,your dog, and ask them the same
question.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
I love that Right.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
So I think we're just going to get right into it.
We're going to talk about sometoxic traits, okay, yep, so
what's a toxic trait that you're?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
fully aware of and absolutely not working on.
Okay, so I guess I'm I'm tryingto work on it.
So I don't know, but I havetrouble just saying yes to
everything.
And it's not because I haveFOMO, yeah, it's just.
I genuinely want to say yes andI want to have all the energy
in the world to go do somethingand even if, for some reason, it
(02:03):
like doesn't sometimes, even ifit doesn't feel right I know I
should be saying no, but I stillsay yes.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
And I really do want to try and work on that.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
But she's not going to, and that's okay.
I just like being with mypeople.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
I know I struggle with that too.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I'm like you know.
There's some days it's like youdon't need to go out for
everything.
We're trying to save money inthis economy.
Going out and getting a vodkasoda in West Hollywood is $18.
And it's like we're trying tobuild a future.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Well, and also I mean , here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
It's like we used to do that growing up.
I don't know why we're notdoing it now.
Right, I'm like.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Bring back flasks Exactly.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
I agree.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
They have so many different types.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
They have bras.
You can fill up your bra withliquid.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
They have tampons, like fake tampons that you can
put shots in the tampons.
Really I swear I had them, notlike growing up, like before you
could drink vodka, and thenyou'd insert it because not?
Speaker 1 (03:06):
you'd like insert in your butt, though I think, oh my
god, I never did this.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
I heard this and I might be.
I was like wait, did you trythis?
Speaker 1 (03:09):
I might be telling it wrong, because I don't know
which way up up the front wouldhurt, but it gets into your
system quicker.
So then you get drunker faster,and so kids used to do this at
parties.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I have never heard of that.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Kids do not try this at home, but if you do, please
let us know how it goes.
Um, okay, one of my toxictraits yeah, that I am fully
aware of and that my friendsmake me more aware of, that I'm
absolutely not working on is mylack of, and and my disgust of,
like raw emotions.
Like I know, I'm veryemotionally immature, so I dare
(03:43):
anybody to try to do somethingabout it.
I'm talking to you, alejandro.
Okay, I don't like emotions,but I'm reading a book right now
called adult children ofimmature parents or something.
Wow, I love that you rememberedthat title.
I may have butchered it, butit's basically like telling me,
like why I'm like that, andmaybe, mom and dad, maybe we
should sit down and talk, okay,anyway, speaking of that, what's
(04:04):
a toxic trait you inheritedfrom your family?
But now you wear like apersonality necklace.
Oh, want me to go first?
Yeah, so, speaking of my family, I have this ability to
disappear from people's livesand never go back.
I think it's because, for thosewho don't know, I was raised in
(04:25):
a foster home.
So, at nine years old, gettingripped away from one family and
thrown into another, I gotreally accustomed to knowing how
to like say goodbye and likeshut off the emotions behind it.
So there's been plenty ofpeople in my life, family and
friends included.
If we get to I don't, you donot serve me anymore in my
mental health.
I will cut you off and I don'teven think about you again.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
I can just, I can just like pluck you out from my
which is great for your ownmental health, but not so much
for theirs, probably, and it's areally bad habit.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
I should try to like work through, but it's easier to
forget than to deal with it.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
I think something that I've taken from my family
specifically, like honestly,like my mom, where she is
friends with everyone she shereally is, and there's groups
sometimes that don't get alongwith somebody else, even till
this day, like adults, you know,like things like that, um, and
I think people hate on her,sometimes secretly, like they
(05:20):
don't let her know because mymom's so amazing and like
everyone loves her, duh, but,but it is something where some
people I'm sure would say, oh,you see everyone's side, so you
don't even have your own side,like you don't even know what
you're talking about.
And it's like I do that too.
I really genuinely try to seeboth sides.
I try to talk to people about asituation rather than just like
(05:42):
cutting them off.
You know, I want to know, Iwant to be able to cut you off
because it's my choice, becauseI've heard and seen all the
cards lay it out on the table.
So it is.
It is something where I thinkpeople are like, oh well, you
just like everybody and dah, dah, dah, dah, do you?
Speaker 1 (06:00):
believe in that phrase A friend to all is a
friend to none, yeah.
So I think that's one Could beit too.
I don't think that's what youdo either.
I do, I do.
I watch this firsthand, evenwith people that we know you do
try to see everyone's side andgive everyone the opportunity to
show their true colors and howthey feel, but then yeah, just
(06:20):
say their side of the story.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
And here's the thing Someone Just say their side of
the story.
And here's the thing Someone inmy friend group could tell me
their side of the story and Icould still not agree with it.
I'm not going to come at youaggressively about it, but I
will say, yeah, like this is aconcern and I want to hear you
out because obviously the peoplein my life I love I don't just
have random people in my circle,Not anymore you know.
So everyone in there isimportant Good Whew.
(06:44):
So everyone in there isimportant.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
That was our toxic trait Whoa.
I feel like we need a shot.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
I know we should have , yeah, we should have, but no,
this is a toxic trait is that wedrink to suppress our feelings.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
So we're not doing that.
It's gross.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
No, where is the flask?
We need the flask.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Okay, I don't know about unhinged life plans
because I don't know, but lifehas thrown me for an absolute
fucking curveball this last year, do you think?
I mean, and also we need togive ourselves credit For us at
this point in our life we'vedone a lot of really cool stuff
and we've made it really far.
Where do you think you'dactually be right now If you
(07:22):
were like are you where youthought you would be?
Los Angeles, west Hollywood.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Some parts, some parts I feel like I am, but I
feel like there's so much morefor me to do.
And yeah, I mean the last withthe strike you know the actress
strike and the fires this yearyou know that was this year, and
just let's not forget that youknow um, just, there's just been
a lot going on in the last Ifeel like two and a half years
(07:51):
I've been in this.
I feel like I'm in like a Tumblrof different emotion and trying
to get, and sometimes my footcomes out but then it goes back.
So, no, I wouldn't say that Iam where I think I thought I'd
be a little bit further in mycareer, not to say not to take
(08:11):
anything away from my career.
I've had an amazing career.
I've been on billboards, I'vebeen on TV, I've been on movies,
I've been on sets that havechanged my life, you know.
But not to say that those lullscan't happen and you start to
revert back to that person whereyou're like am I supposed to be
doing this?
That imposter syndrome, yeah,kicks in real quick what about
(08:33):
taking out the career?
Speaker 1 (08:34):
even like thinking about, like, like growing up.
For me, growing up in a smalltown where, like people,
graduated high school at 18, gotmarried, popped out two kids,
working at whatever you know,like I think that's something
what's interesting Cause I thinkwhen I was younger I thought,
for sure, by the age I'm 34.
Now I would have never.
I would never have said that at34, I would not be married, I
(08:55):
would not own a house and Iwould still be out until 2am at
the bar on a weekend, Right,Like that's what's kind of crazy
.
I mean, life is just differentnow than it was back then.
It's a different time, it's adifferent reality than small
town Alabama to Los Angeles,California.
But that's something I thinknine year old Kayla would have
been like yo what?
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yes, you ain't married yet, bitch Right?
No, I definitely think 13 yearold me is literally saying how
freaking cool I am Because I dolike I love who I am.
I love who I am still becoming.
But it's hard, it's a challenge.
(09:34):
But I do think that the13-year-old me who tried to lie
about things I was never a goodliar, okay, I just.
I had to learn that at a, atsomewhat of a teenager life
moment that like just, you'renot a good liar, like I'm not.
So when I learned how to not dothat and just tell the truth
(09:57):
because sometimes speaking thetruth to people is a lot harder
than telling a lie but then thelies start to add up and start
forgetting the lies, and theyall get mixed up in each other.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
I know I'm not a bad liar too.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
I'm not a good liar.
You put me on a lie detector.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Some people can trick a lie detector.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Those are some like those are some.
That's a terrifying.
I don't think I'd want thatperson in my friend group who
can trick a lie detector.
No, yeah, I have like probablyso many tells yeah and.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
I've gotten really good at being able to have those
hard conversations even ifthey're uncomfortable, but
coming at it to a place withgrace and compassion.
I just I try don't get me wrongOnce I pop off, it's hard to go
back in, but it takes a lot forme to pop off.
(10:43):
Same, same, same.
Yeah, when it happens.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
It's funny, I was like arguing with an ex and they
were way more of like they'reway more of a communicator than
I am, and so I'll listen.
I'll sit there and listen andI'm sorry.
You're really good at that,I'll sit there, I'll sit there,
and then I keep going.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
You keep poking the bear, poking the bear.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
I remember one time I didn't even have words.
I went from being quiet to likeah, like I just yelled, I was
like it just popped off.
And then it was like devil,like you, just you asked for
this, you pushed me.
Here you go, buckle up, getready.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
The horror you asked for this Yep.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
The horror, kayla comes out, don't cry it out and
just to be clear, she's sayinghorror, not whore Kayla.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Yes, whore-er, that's a different time.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I'll put that number on the screen if you're looking
for her 1-800.
1-800.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
You finish the rest.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
So we were talking about this earlier.
But it is funny how life youknow what's there're saying Tell
God your plans and he'll laughwhatever.
Like nothing ever turns out theway that you think.
Yep, but it's almost like lifeis such a choose, your own
adventure, like if you take thispath, this could be how it ends
, and vice versa, Like one onedifferent choice in what you
made can completely change thetrajectory of your life, like
(12:04):
one for me.
I was engaged like 10 years agoand it's so fun, I mean great
guy and he's very.
He's happily married with achild now.
So happy for him.
But I'm like what if I hadactually gone through with this
engagement, living in the desert, I'd probably be barefoot and
pregnant, probably wouldn't beworking, definitely wouldn't
have met.
You had this podcast.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Like it's just so funny to think how one different
choice in our lives can justdeter the entire plan Absolutely
.
I think about sometimes I had anex and I could have an 18 year
old child right now, but itdidn't happen that way and, um,
I am forever grateful, like youknow, obviously.
I know I would have been agreat mom and I would have
figured it out, and I know Iwould have had the help that I
needed and the support.
But I can't imagine till thisday if that would have went the
(12:54):
path, yeah, and still had thatperson in my life, yeah, oh, my
God, it honestly like makes mesick to my stomach, like thank
goodness it didn't happen thatway.
You know what I mean.
I just and so that is somethingwhere, yeah, I don't, we
probably wouldn't be here rightnow and trying to make this
(13:15):
dream happen, you know, becausenow my life doesn't matter, it's
this person's life and that'sthe type of mom I will be one
day when, I have a child, like,okay, not that my life is over,
it's never over but now thisthing right here.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Now you can focus on this, because you've done the
things that you've wanted to do,yeah, and then you're not going
to resent this thing.
Yes, you know, yes.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Absolutely, and I still love being able to go out
on a Wednesday, you know, withKayla or somebody else, and we
get home at 2 am and it's aWednesday, I know and we're just
like okay, but we can Like, wedon't have to worry about like
any you know thing to go homeand take care of, and that's
needing you, of course.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
You can just kind of and it's like we are choosing to
be selfish at this point in ourlives because we can and we did
make that decision, which Ithink is you know me growing up
with a mom who still wanted todo what we're doing, but also
have kids at home, and so thataffected me very.
You know deeply, right on herpart to do which I think we're
just doing things.
Romeo and Michelle, don't getmad at you when you come home.
(14:17):
No, my cats love it becausethey know the second, they get
the house to themselves.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
And then I come home and they meow at me until the
day I die.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
They are obsessed.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
They are the queens of the house.
Okay, we're talking about mycats by the way.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Yes, oh my God, we're not children or anything like
that.
They're meowing at you at 2am.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Uh, no, the best part is I had, uh, the first time I
met a friends of mine and wewere at we were in Palm Springs,
uh at a friend's house, andthey kept saying, oh, we got to
go back to the other house.
They were staying at theirbrother's house and they were
like, oh, we gotta go back tothe other house and feed the
baby and I said I'm sorry youhave a baby at the other house.
(15:02):
No-transcript no-transcript.
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