June 2, 2025 • 29 mins
A surreal sci-fi series exploring speculative concepts, dreams, and philosophical what-ifs. Each episode is a cerebral journey into the mind’s deepest questions. Explore a world of immersive, ad-free audio experiences from nature sounds to timeless stories at https://www.adfreesounds.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Mine will welcome to a half hour of mind wat
shouts stories from the worlds of speculative fiction. No, this
(01:12):
is Michael Anson the mindweb story. This time is Restricted
Area by Robert Sheckley, copyright nineteen fifty three by the
Ziff Davis Publishing Company. Nice looking place, isn't it, Captain
Simmons asked, with elaborate casualness, looking through the port. Rather paradise.
(01:36):
You can't go out yet, Captain Kilpeper said, noting the
biologist's immediate disappointed expression. But Captain no.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Kilpepper looked out the port at.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
The rolling meadow of grass sprinkled with red flowers. It
appeared as luscious as it had two days ago when
they had landed. To the right of the meadow, it
was a brown forest shot through with a yellow and
orange blossom. To the left to row of hills colored
in contrasting shades of blue green. A waterfall tumbled down
one of the hills, Trees, flowers, all that sort of thing.
(02:11):
The place was undeniably pretty, and it was for that
very reason that Kilpepper distrusted it. Experience with two wives
and five new ships, a taudium that a lovely exterior
can conceal almost anything. Kill Pepper skinned the reports. They
were the same as the last four groups. Atmosphere breathable
(02:34):
and free of dangerous micro organisms, bacteria, count.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Mill radar graph all clear.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Some form of animal life in the nearby forest, but
no energy manifestations. Detection of a large metallic mass, possibly
an iron rich mountain several miles south, noted for further investigation.
The reports vaguely annoyed him. He knew from past experience
that there was usually something wrong with every planet it
(03:04):
paid to find it at the start, before costly accidents resulted.
At last, he said, all right, post a full guard
for the time being. Let four men out. No one
goes beyond twenty five feet of the ship. He had
to let them go after sixteen months in the hot,
cramped space ship. He'd have a mutiny on his hands
(03:25):
if he didn't. The air of the unnamed planet was
fragrant after the musty recirculated air of the ship. The
breeze from the mountains was light and steady and refreshing.
Captain Kilpepper sniffed appreciatively, arms folded across his chest. The
four crewmen were walking around stretching their legs and breathing
(03:47):
in great lungfuls of fresh air. The scientific team was
standing together, wondering where to begin. Simmons spent down and
plucked the spear of grass. Funny looking stuff. Why I'll
look at it. The thin biologist held it higher, perfectly smooth.
Doesn't show any sign of self formation. Let me see
(04:10):
he bent over a red blossom. Hey, we got visitors.
A crewman named Flynn was the first to spot the natives.
They came out of the forest and trotted across the
meadow to the ship. Captain Kilpepper glanced at the ship.
The gunners were ready and alert. He touched his side
arm for reassurance and waited. Oh brother, Aramic murmured. As
(04:35):
the ship's linguist, he eyed the advancing natives with intense
professional interest. The rest of the men just stared. In
the lead was a creature with a neck at least
eight feet long, like a giraffe, and thick, stubby legs
like a hippopotamus. It had a cheerful expression on its face.
Its hide was purple sprinkled with large white dots. Next
(05:00):
in line came five little beasts with pure white fur.
They were about the size of terriers, and they had
an owlishly solemn expression. A fat, red, little creature with
a green tail at least sixteen feet long, brought up
the rear. They stopped in front of the men and bowed.
There was a long moment of silence, and then everyone
(05:22):
burst into laughter. The laughter seemed to be a signal.
The five little ones leaped to the back of the
hippo giraffe. They scrambled for a moment, then climbed on
each other's shoulders, and the moment they were balanced five high,
like a team of acrobats.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
The men that plodded wildly.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
The fat animal immediately started balancing on his tail. Bravo,
shouted Simmons. The five furry animals jumped off the giraffe's
back and started to dance around the pig. Hurray Morrison,
the bacteriologists called the hippo giraffe turned a clumsy Summers
Salt landed on one ear, scrambled to his feet, and
(06:02):
bowed deeply. Captain Kilpepper frowned and rubbed one hand against another.
He was trying to figure out some reason for this behavior.
The natives burst into song. The melody was strange, but
recognizable as a tune. They harmonized for a few seconds,
then bowed and began to roll on the grass. The
(06:25):
crew members were still a plodding. Arabic had taken out
his notebook and was jotting down the sounds. All right,
crool back inside. They gave him reproachful looks. Let some
of the other men have a chance. Regretfully, the men
filed back inside. Captain Kilpeper sat down and tried to
(06:45):
figure out what was wrong with the planet. Kilpepper spent
most of the next day felling out progress reports. In
the late afternoon, he put down his pencil and went
out for a walk. Have you got a moment? Captain
Simmons asked, There's something I'd like to show you in
the forest. On the way, they were accompanied by three natives.
(07:09):
These particular three looked like dogs except for their coloring
red and white, like peppermint candy. Now, then, sir, look around,
what do you see that strikes you as odd? Kilpepper looked.
The trees were thick, trunk and spaced, white apart, so
white apart, in fact, that it was possible to see
(07:31):
the next clearing through them. Well, you couldn't get lost
in here. It's not that Come I look again, h
why there's no wonderbrush.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Kilpepper stated.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
After walking a few yards further, there were vines twisting
up the side of the trees covered with multicolored flowers.
Glancing around, Kilpepper saw a bird dart down, flutter around
the head of one of the peppermint colored dogs, and
fly away again. The bird was colored gold and silver.
Don't you see anything wrong yet, only the color schemes
(08:07):
or something else. Look at the trees. The boughs were
laden with fruit. It hung in clumps all on the
lower branches of a bewildering variety of colors, sizes, and shapes.
There were things that looked like grapes, and things that
looked like bananas, and things that looked like watermelons, and
(08:29):
lots of different species, I guess different species. Look, man,
there are as many as ten different kinds of fruit
growing on one branch. Examining closer, kill Pepper saw it
was true. Each tree had an amazing multiplicity of fruit.
And that's just impossible, sir. It's not my field, of course,
(08:53):
but I can state with fair certainty that each fruit
is a separate and distinct entity. They're not stages of
each other. How do you account for it? I don't
have to, but some poor botanist is going to have
his hands full. They turned and started to walk back.
What were you here for me? I was doing a
(09:14):
little anthropological work on the side. Wanted to find out
where our friends lived. No luck. There are no paths, implements, clearings, anything,
not even caves. Kilpepper didn't think it unusual that a
biologist should be making a quick anthropological survey. It was
impossible to represent all the sciences on an expedition of
(09:36):
this sort. Survival was the first consideration. Biology and bacteriology,
then language. After that, any botanical, ecological, psychological, sociological, or
any other knowledge was appreciated. Eight or nine birds had
joined the animals or natives around the ship. When they
(09:57):
got back, the birds were brilliant. We colored also polka dots, stripes, piebals.
There wasn't a dun or gray in the lot. Mate
Marina and crewman Flynn trudged through an outcropping of the forest.
They stopped at the foot of a little hill. Above them,
red and gold birds dipped and sailed cheaping merrily. The
(10:19):
breeze fanned the tall grass and hummed melodiously through the
leaves and branches of the nearby forest. Behind them, two
of the natives followed. They were horse shaped except for
their hides of green and white dots. It's like a
bloody circus, Flynn observed, as one of the horses capered
to circle around him. Yeah, Marina said, And they reached
(10:42):
the top of the hill and started down. Then Flynn stopped.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Look at that at.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
The base of the hill, rising slim and erect, was
a metal pillar. They followed it up with their eyes.
It climbed and climbed, and it's was lost in the clouds.
They hurried down and examined it closer. The pillar was
more massy than they had thought, almost twenty feet through,
(11:12):
Marina estimated at a gas. He placed the metal as
an alloy of steel by its gray blue color. But
what steel, he asked himself, could support a shaft that size.
How high would you say those clouds are, Flynn craned
his neck. Or they must be half a mile up,
maybe a mile. The pillar had been hidden from the
(11:35):
ship by the clouds and by its gray blue color,
which blended into the background. I don't believe it. I
wonder what the compression strain on this thing is. They
stared in awe at the tremendous shaft. Well, I better
get some pictures. The unloaded their cameras and snapped several
shots of the shaft from twenty feet, and then a
(11:58):
shot with Marina for size comparison, and then they sighted
up the shaft. What do you figure it is? I'll
let the big brains figure it out. I ought to
drive nuts back at the ship kill. Pepper was squatting
in the grass watching Arabic at work. The linguist was
a patient man. His sisters had always remarked on his patients,
(12:21):
his colleagues had praised him for it, and his students
during his years of teaching had appreciated it. Now the
backlog of sixteen years of self containment was being called
to the front. I we'll try it again, Aramic said.
He flipped through the pages of Language Approach to Alien
Grade two Intelligences, a text written by himself, and found
(12:42):
the diagram he wanted to open to the page and pointed.
The animal beside him looked like an inconceivable cross between
a chipmunk and a giant panda. It cocked one eye
at the diagram, the other eye wandering ludicrously around its socket.
Planet Aramic said, pointing planet, excuse me, Simmons said, I
(13:06):
like to set up this X ray gadget here and certainly,
Kilpepper said, moving to let the biologist drag a machine
into place. Planet Aramic said again, elimbasel halem cram The
chipmunk panda said, damn it. They had a language. The
sounds they made were certainly representational. It was just a
(13:27):
question of finding a common meeting ground. Had they mastered
simple abstractions. Aramic put down his book and pointed to
the chipmunk panda animal, he said, and waited, get him
the whole still, Simmons said, focusing the X ray. That's good.
Not now, if you more, animal, Aramic repeated, hopefully efol
(13:51):
b four box, hopeful to Fulknox brought him a Dan
Samdaran evil beautiful box. Patience, Aramic reminded herself, positive attitude,
be cheerful, faint heart never. He picked up another of
his manuals. This one was called Language Approach to Alien
Grade one Intelligences. He found what he wanted, and put
(14:11):
it down again, smiling, and held up a finger. One.
The animal leaned forward and sniffed the finger, smiling grimly.
Aramic held up another finger, two, a third, three hoglets.
The animal said, suddenly a dip thong. There word for
(14:33):
one one, he said again, waving the same finger. Let
us have rough, the animal replied, beaming. Could that be
an alternate one? One? He said again, and the animal
burst into song. Say that headeth uhlit cram arrogant bill
again homus Graham. It stopped and looked at the language
(14:54):
approach manual fluttering in the air, and at the back
of the linguist, who was remarkable. Patients had refrained from
throttling him. After Marina and Flynn returned, kill Pepper puzzled
over their report. He had the photographs rushed through and
studied them with care. The shaft was round and smooth
(15:16):
and obviously manufactured. Any race that could put up a
thing like that could give them trouble, big trouble. But
who had put the shaft up? Not the happy, stupid
animals around the ship. Certainly, you say the top is
hidden in the clouds, Yes, sir, The damn thing must
(15:37):
be all of a mile high. We'll go back and
take a radar scope, take infrared equipment, and give me
a picture of the top of that shaft. I want
to know how high it goes and what's on.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Top of it.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Flynn and Marina left the bridge. Kill Pepper looked at
the still wet photographs for a minute longer than put
them down. He wandered into the ship's a vague worries
nagging at him. This planet didn't make sense, and that
bothered him. Kilpepper had discovered the hard way that there's
(16:11):
a pattern to everything. If you can't find it in time,
that's just too bad for you. Morrison, the bacteriologist was
a small, sad man right now. He looked like an
extension of the microscope he was peering into. You find anything,
(16:31):
I found the absence of something. There isn't an ounce
of bacteria on this planet.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Sure. The water in the stream is purer than distilled alcohol,
and the dirt on this planet is cleaner than the
boiled scalpel. The only bacteria are the ones we brought,
and they're being killed off. How near The air of
this place has about three disinfecting agents that I've detected
(17:04):
probably dozen more. I haven't the same with the dirt
and water. This place is sterile. Well now, Kilpepper couldn't
appreciate the full force of the statement. He was still
worried about the steel shaft. Well what does all this mean?
I'm glad you asked me that. Yes, I'm really glad
(17:27):
you asked me. It means simply that this place does
not exist. Oh, come now, I mean it. There can't
be life without microorganisms. One whole section of the life
cycle is missing here. Unfortunately, it does exist. Have you
(17:50):
any other theories? Yes, but I want to finish these
tests first. But I'll tell you one thing. I haven't
been able to detect a piece of rock on this planet,
and there's no loose rock or stone anywhere around. The
smallest stone is about seven tons. Well what does that mean? Ah,
(18:12):
you're one dream too. Excuse me. I want to complete
these tests before supper. Just before sunset, the X rays
of the animals were finished. Kill Pepper had another surprise.
Morrison had told him the planet couldn't exist. Then Simmons
insisted the animals couldn't exist. Just look at these pictures, sir,
(18:37):
Look do you see any organs. The X ray showed
a few bones and one or two organs. There were
traces of a nervous system on some of the pictures,
but mostly the animals seemed homogeneous throughout. There isn't enough
internal structure to keep a tape worm going. This simplification
is impossible, and there's nothing that corresponds to lungs or heart.
(18:58):
No bloodstream, no brain, ain damn little nervous system, and
what organs they have don't make sense. I conclude these
animals don't exist. Arabic hass been swearing softly? Any luck
on the language?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
No?
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Sorry? I tested them right down to intelligence grade C
three double B. That's a MEBA class. No response. Well,
perhaps they're just completely brainless. No, the ability to do
trick shows a certain level of intelligence. They have a
language of sorts also, and a definite response pattern, but
they won't pay any attention. All they do is sing songs.
(19:39):
I think we need supper, Perhaps a slug or two
of the old stand by two. The old standby was
much in evidence at supper. After a fifth or two
had been consumed, the scientists mellowed sufficiently to consider some possibilities.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
They put together in bags. Item.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
The natives or animals showed no sign of internal organs,
no reproductive or excretive equipment. There seemed to be at
least three dozen species, not counting birds, and more appearing
every day, the same with plants. Item. The planet was
amazingly sterile and acted to keep itself so. Item. The
natives had a language, but evidently couldn't impart it to others,
(20:21):
nor could they learn another language. Item. There were no
small rocks or stone around Item. There was a tremendous
steel shaft rising to a height of at least half
a mile exact how.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
To be determined when the new pictures were developed.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Although there was no sign of a machine culture, the
shaft was obviously the productive one. Someone must have built
it and put it there. Throw it all together, and
what do you got? I have a theory. It's a
beautiful theory, sir. The way I see it, the planet
is man made. It must be. No race would evolve
(20:58):
without bacteria by a super race. The race who put
that steel spire there, They built it for the animals.
Why this is a beautiful part pure altruism. I look
at the natives, happy, playful, completely devoid of violence, rid
of all nasty habits. Don't they deserve a world to themselves,
a world where they can rop and play in an
(21:20):
eternal summer. These people are here is a reminder, a
message to all passing races that men can live in peace.
There's only one flaw in that the animals could never
have evolved naturally. You saw the X rays. That's true.
The dreamer struggled briefly with the biologists, and the dreamer lost.
(21:43):
Perhaps they're robots, that's the explanation I favor the way
I see it. The race that built that steel shaft
built these animals too. There's servants, slaves. Why they might
even think? Where are their masters? Where would the real
masters have gone? Well? How the hell should I know?
And where would these masters live? We haven't spotted anything
(22:05):
that looks like habitation. They're so far advanced they don't
need machines or houses. They lived directly with nature. Then
why do they need servants? And why did they build
the spire? That evening, the new pictures of the steel
pillar were completed, and the scientists examined them eagerly. The
top of the pillar was almost a mile high, hidden
(22:28):
in thick clouds there was a projection on either side
of the top, jutting out at right angles to a
distance of eighty five feet. When Kilpepper woke up the
next morning, something didn't feel right. He dressed and went outside.
There seemed to be something intangible in the wind. Kill
Pepper shook his head. He had faith in his premonitions.
(22:51):
They usually meant that unconsciously he had completed some process
in reasoning. Everything seemed to be in order on the ship.
The animals were outside, wandering lazily around. Kilpepper glared at
them and walked around the ship. The scientists were back
at work trying to solve the mysteries of the planet.
(23:13):
Aramic was trying to learn the language from a mournful
eyed green and silver beast. It seemed unusually apathetic this morning.
Kilpepper thought of Circe. Could the animals be people changed
into beasts by some wicked sorcerer. The crew hadn't noticed
anything different. They had headed en mass for the waterfall
(23:37):
to get in some swimming. Kilpepper signed two men to
make a microscopic inspection of the steel shaft. That worried
him more than anything else. Around midday, Aramic, the linguist
walked over. He threw his books one by one against
the side of the ship.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
I give up.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
There was beasts. You won't pay any attention now they're
barely talking, and they they've stopped doing tricks. Rap like
animals sat down suddenly, slowly, he rolled over on his
side and lay still. Two of the smaller ones with
glossy black fur toppled over. What's happening now, I'm afraid,
I know, Morrison said Germs Captain, I feel like a murderer.
(24:19):
I think we've killed these poor beasts. Remember I told
you there was no sign of any microorganism on the planet.
Think of how many we've introduced bacterias streaming off our
bodies under these hosts with no resistance. Remember I thought
you said the air had several disinfecting agents. Evidently they
didn't work fast enough. The rest of the animals around
(24:41):
the ship were falling now and lying quite still. One
of the crewmen dashed up, panting. He was still wet
from his swim by the waterfall, sir, off by the
falls the animals. And that's not all the waterfall, you know,
the waterfall it stopped, sir, it stopped running. Get the
men down here. The crewman sprinted back to the falls,
(25:04):
and Kilpepper looked around, not sure what he was looking for.
He almost had the answer. The brown forest was quiet,
now too quiet, and Kilpeper realized that the gentle, steady
breeze that had been blowing ever since they landed had stopped.
The crewmen hurried back from the waterfall, glistening wet. At
(25:26):
Kilpepper's order, they piled back into the ship. The scientists
remained standing, looking over the silent land. The man who
had been examining the shaft came running down the hill,
bounding through the long grass, as though the devil himself
were after them. What now, Eh, it's a damned shaft, sir,
it's turning the shaft. That mile high mass of incredibly
(25:52):
strong metal was being turned. Kilpepper could feel the answer
taking shape. Now there was just one more bit of evidence.
He needed one thing more. The animals sprang to their feet.
The red and silver birds started to fly again, winging
high into the air. The giraffe Hippo reared to his feet, snorted,
(26:14):
and raced off. The rest of the animals followed him
from the forest. An avalanche of strange beasts poured onto
the meadow at full speed. They headed west away from
the ship. Get back in the ship.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
That did it kill?
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Pepper knew now, and he only hoped he could get
the ship into deep space and time. Hurry the hell
up and get those engines going. But we still got
equipment scattered around. Sir, I don't see any need for
this man the guns. Suddenly there were long shadows in
the west. Captain, we haven't completed our investigation yet. You'll
(26:51):
be lucky if we live through this. How don't you
put it together yet? Close that bay, get everything tight.
You mean the turning shaft, all right? I suppose there's
some super race. That turning shaft is a key in
the side of the planet. It winds the place up.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
The whole world is like that.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Animals rivers, wind, everything runs down. The figure it out.
A place where all kinds of wonderful food hangs from
the trees, where there's no bacteriy at a hurts you,
not even a sharp rock to stub your toes. A
place filled with marvelous, amusing gentle animals, where everything's designed
to delight you. Up playground, and the shaft is a
(27:37):
key the place ran down while we made our unauthorized visit,
and now now someone's winding the planet up again. Outside
the port, the shadows, which stretching for thousands of feet
across the green meadow, hang on. Kilpepper shouted as he
punched the takeoff button. Unlike the toy animals, I don't
(28:03):
want to meet the children who play here, and I
especially don't want to meet their parents. You've heard The
(28:28):
Restricted Area, a story by Robert Sheckley, copyright nineteen fifty
three by the IF Davis Publishing Company. I'm Michael Hanson.
Technical operation for this program by Rich Grody and Mike Burns.
Mind Webbs is
Speaker 2 (28:46):
A production of WHA Radio Madison
Mine will welcome to a half hour of mind wat
shouts stories from the worlds of speculative fiction. No, this
(01:12):
is Michael Anson the mindweb story. This time is Restricted
Area by Robert Sheckley, copyright nineteen fifty three by the
Ziff Davis Publishing Company. Nice looking place, isn't it, Captain
Simmons asked, with elaborate casualness, looking through the port. Rather paradise.
(01:36):
You can't go out yet, Captain Kilpeper said, noting the
biologist's immediate disappointed expression. But Captain no.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Kilpepper looked out the port at.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
The rolling meadow of grass sprinkled with red flowers. It
appeared as luscious as it had two days ago when
they had landed. To the right of the meadow, it
was a brown forest shot through with a yellow and
orange blossom. To the left to row of hills colored
in contrasting shades of blue green. A waterfall tumbled down
one of the hills, Trees, flowers, all that sort of thing.
(02:11):
The place was undeniably pretty, and it was for that
very reason that Kilpepper distrusted it. Experience with two wives
and five new ships, a taudium that a lovely exterior
can conceal almost anything. Kill Pepper skinned the reports. They
were the same as the last four groups. Atmosphere breathable
(02:34):
and free of dangerous micro organisms, bacteria, count.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Mill radar graph all clear.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Some form of animal life in the nearby forest, but
no energy manifestations. Detection of a large metallic mass, possibly
an iron rich mountain several miles south, noted for further investigation.
The reports vaguely annoyed him. He knew from past experience
that there was usually something wrong with every planet it
(03:04):
paid to find it at the start, before costly accidents resulted.
At last, he said, all right, post a full guard
for the time being. Let four men out. No one
goes beyond twenty five feet of the ship. He had
to let them go after sixteen months in the hot,
cramped space ship. He'd have a mutiny on his hands
(03:25):
if he didn't. The air of the unnamed planet was
fragrant after the musty recirculated air of the ship. The
breeze from the mountains was light and steady and refreshing.
Captain Kilpepper sniffed appreciatively, arms folded across his chest. The
four crewmen were walking around stretching their legs and breathing
(03:47):
in great lungfuls of fresh air. The scientific team was
standing together, wondering where to begin. Simmons spent down and
plucked the spear of grass. Funny looking stuff. Why I'll
look at it. The thin biologist held it higher, perfectly smooth.
Doesn't show any sign of self formation. Let me see
(04:10):
he bent over a red blossom. Hey, we got visitors.
A crewman named Flynn was the first to spot the natives.
They came out of the forest and trotted across the
meadow to the ship. Captain Kilpepper glanced at the ship.
The gunners were ready and alert. He touched his side
arm for reassurance and waited. Oh brother, Aramic murmured. As
(04:35):
the ship's linguist, he eyed the advancing natives with intense
professional interest. The rest of the men just stared. In
the lead was a creature with a neck at least
eight feet long, like a giraffe, and thick, stubby legs
like a hippopotamus. It had a cheerful expression on its face.
Its hide was purple sprinkled with large white dots. Next
(05:00):
in line came five little beasts with pure white fur.
They were about the size of terriers, and they had
an owlishly solemn expression. A fat, red, little creature with
a green tail at least sixteen feet long, brought up
the rear. They stopped in front of the men and bowed.
There was a long moment of silence, and then everyone
(05:22):
burst into laughter. The laughter seemed to be a signal.
The five little ones leaped to the back of the
hippo giraffe. They scrambled for a moment, then climbed on
each other's shoulders, and the moment they were balanced five high,
like a team of acrobats.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
The men that plodded wildly.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
The fat animal immediately started balancing on his tail. Bravo,
shouted Simmons. The five furry animals jumped off the giraffe's
back and started to dance around the pig. Hurray Morrison,
the bacteriologists called the hippo giraffe turned a clumsy Summers
Salt landed on one ear, scrambled to his feet, and
(06:02):
bowed deeply. Captain Kilpepper frowned and rubbed one hand against another.
He was trying to figure out some reason for this behavior.
The natives burst into song. The melody was strange, but
recognizable as a tune. They harmonized for a few seconds,
then bowed and began to roll on the grass. The
(06:25):
crew members were still a plodding. Arabic had taken out
his notebook and was jotting down the sounds. All right,
crool back inside. They gave him reproachful looks. Let some
of the other men have a chance. Regretfully, the men
filed back inside. Captain Kilpeper sat down and tried to
(06:45):
figure out what was wrong with the planet. Kilpepper spent
most of the next day felling out progress reports. In
the late afternoon, he put down his pencil and went
out for a walk. Have you got a moment? Captain
Simmons asked, There's something I'd like to show you in
the forest. On the way, they were accompanied by three natives.
(07:09):
These particular three looked like dogs except for their coloring
red and white, like peppermint candy. Now, then, sir, look around,
what do you see that strikes you as odd? Kilpepper looked.
The trees were thick, trunk and spaced, white apart, so
white apart, in fact, that it was possible to see
(07:31):
the next clearing through them. Well, you couldn't get lost
in here. It's not that Come I look again, h
why there's no wonderbrush.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Kilpepper stated.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
After walking a few yards further, there were vines twisting
up the side of the trees covered with multicolored flowers.
Glancing around, Kilpepper saw a bird dart down, flutter around
the head of one of the peppermint colored dogs, and
fly away again. The bird was colored gold and silver.
Don't you see anything wrong yet, only the color schemes
(08:07):
or something else. Look at the trees. The boughs were
laden with fruit. It hung in clumps all on the
lower branches of a bewildering variety of colors, sizes, and shapes.
There were things that looked like grapes, and things that
looked like bananas, and things that looked like watermelons, and
(08:29):
lots of different species, I guess different species. Look, man,
there are as many as ten different kinds of fruit
growing on one branch. Examining closer, kill Pepper saw it
was true. Each tree had an amazing multiplicity of fruit.
And that's just impossible, sir. It's not my field, of course,
(08:53):
but I can state with fair certainty that each fruit
is a separate and distinct entity. They're not stages of
each other. How do you account for it? I don't
have to, but some poor botanist is going to have
his hands full. They turned and started to walk back.
What were you here for me? I was doing a
(09:14):
little anthropological work on the side. Wanted to find out
where our friends lived. No luck. There are no paths, implements, clearings, anything,
not even caves. Kilpepper didn't think it unusual that a
biologist should be making a quick anthropological survey. It was
impossible to represent all the sciences on an expedition of
(09:36):
this sort. Survival was the first consideration. Biology and bacteriology,
then language. After that, any botanical, ecological, psychological, sociological, or
any other knowledge was appreciated. Eight or nine birds had
joined the animals or natives around the ship. When they
(09:57):
got back, the birds were brilliant. We colored also polka dots, stripes, piebals.
There wasn't a dun or gray in the lot. Mate
Marina and crewman Flynn trudged through an outcropping of the forest.
They stopped at the foot of a little hill. Above them,
red and gold birds dipped and sailed cheaping merrily. The
(10:19):
breeze fanned the tall grass and hummed melodiously through the
leaves and branches of the nearby forest. Behind them, two
of the natives followed. They were horse shaped except for
their hides of green and white dots. It's like a
bloody circus, Flynn observed, as one of the horses capered
to circle around him. Yeah, Marina said, And they reached
(10:42):
the top of the hill and started down. Then Flynn stopped.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Look at that at.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
The base of the hill, rising slim and erect, was
a metal pillar. They followed it up with their eyes.
It climbed and climbed, and it's was lost in the clouds.
They hurried down and examined it closer. The pillar was
more massy than they had thought, almost twenty feet through,
(11:12):
Marina estimated at a gas. He placed the metal as
an alloy of steel by its gray blue color. But
what steel, he asked himself, could support a shaft that size.
How high would you say those clouds are, Flynn craned
his neck. Or they must be half a mile up,
maybe a mile. The pillar had been hidden from the
(11:35):
ship by the clouds and by its gray blue color,
which blended into the background. I don't believe it. I
wonder what the compression strain on this thing is. They
stared in awe at the tremendous shaft. Well, I better
get some pictures. The unloaded their cameras and snapped several
shots of the shaft from twenty feet, and then a
(11:58):
shot with Marina for size comparison, and then they sighted
up the shaft. What do you figure it is? I'll
let the big brains figure it out. I ought to
drive nuts back at the ship kill. Pepper was squatting
in the grass watching Arabic at work. The linguist was
a patient man. His sisters had always remarked on his patients,
(12:21):
his colleagues had praised him for it, and his students
during his years of teaching had appreciated it. Now the
backlog of sixteen years of self containment was being called
to the front. I we'll try it again, Aramic said.
He flipped through the pages of Language Approach to Alien
Grade two Intelligences, a text written by himself, and found
(12:42):
the diagram he wanted to open to the page and pointed.
The animal beside him looked like an inconceivable cross between
a chipmunk and a giant panda. It cocked one eye
at the diagram, the other eye wandering ludicrously around its socket.
Planet Aramic said, pointing planet, excuse me, Simmons said, I
(13:06):
like to set up this X ray gadget here and certainly,
Kilpepper said, moving to let the biologist drag a machine
into place. Planet Aramic said again, elimbasel halem cram The
chipmunk panda said, damn it. They had a language. The
sounds they made were certainly representational. It was just a
(13:27):
question of finding a common meeting ground. Had they mastered
simple abstractions. Aramic put down his book and pointed to
the chipmunk panda animal, he said, and waited, get him
the whole still, Simmons said, focusing the X ray. That's good.
Not now, if you more, animal, Aramic repeated, hopefully efol
(13:51):
b four box, hopeful to Fulknox brought him a Dan
Samdaran evil beautiful box. Patience, Aramic reminded herself, positive attitude,
be cheerful, faint heart never. He picked up another of
his manuals. This one was called Language Approach to Alien
Grade one Intelligences. He found what he wanted, and put
(14:11):
it down again, smiling, and held up a finger. One.
The animal leaned forward and sniffed the finger, smiling grimly.
Aramic held up another finger, two, a third, three hoglets.
The animal said, suddenly a dip thong. There word for
(14:33):
one one, he said again, waving the same finger. Let
us have rough, the animal replied, beaming. Could that be
an alternate one? One? He said again, and the animal
burst into song. Say that headeth uhlit cram arrogant bill
again homus Graham. It stopped and looked at the language
(14:54):
approach manual fluttering in the air, and at the back
of the linguist, who was remarkable. Patients had refrained from
throttling him. After Marina and Flynn returned, kill Pepper puzzled
over their report. He had the photographs rushed through and
studied them with care. The shaft was round and smooth
(15:16):
and obviously manufactured. Any race that could put up a
thing like that could give them trouble, big trouble. But
who had put the shaft up? Not the happy, stupid
animals around the ship. Certainly, you say the top is
hidden in the clouds, Yes, sir, The damn thing must
(15:37):
be all of a mile high. We'll go back and
take a radar scope, take infrared equipment, and give me
a picture of the top of that shaft. I want
to know how high it goes and what's on.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Top of it.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Flynn and Marina left the bridge. Kill Pepper looked at
the still wet photographs for a minute longer than put
them down. He wandered into the ship's a vague worries
nagging at him. This planet didn't make sense, and that
bothered him. Kilpepper had discovered the hard way that there's
(16:11):
a pattern to everything. If you can't find it in time,
that's just too bad for you. Morrison, the bacteriologist was
a small, sad man right now. He looked like an
extension of the microscope he was peering into. You find anything,
(16:31):
I found the absence of something. There isn't an ounce
of bacteria on this planet.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Sure. The water in the stream is purer than distilled alcohol,
and the dirt on this planet is cleaner than the
boiled scalpel. The only bacteria are the ones we brought,
and they're being killed off. How near The air of
this place has about three disinfecting agents that I've detected
(17:04):
probably dozen more. I haven't the same with the dirt
and water. This place is sterile. Well now, Kilpepper couldn't
appreciate the full force of the statement. He was still
worried about the steel shaft. Well what does all this mean?
I'm glad you asked me that. Yes, I'm really glad
(17:27):
you asked me. It means simply that this place does
not exist. Oh, come now, I mean it. There can't
be life without microorganisms. One whole section of the life
cycle is missing here. Unfortunately, it does exist. Have you
(17:50):
any other theories? Yes, but I want to finish these
tests first. But I'll tell you one thing. I haven't
been able to detect a piece of rock on this planet,
and there's no loose rock or stone anywhere around. The
smallest stone is about seven tons. Well what does that mean? Ah,
(18:12):
you're one dream too. Excuse me. I want to complete
these tests before supper. Just before sunset, the X rays
of the animals were finished. Kill Pepper had another surprise.
Morrison had told him the planet couldn't exist. Then Simmons
insisted the animals couldn't exist. Just look at these pictures, sir,
(18:37):
Look do you see any organs. The X ray showed
a few bones and one or two organs. There were
traces of a nervous system on some of the pictures,
but mostly the animals seemed homogeneous throughout. There isn't enough
internal structure to keep a tape worm going. This simplification
is impossible, and there's nothing that corresponds to lungs or heart.
(18:58):
No bloodstream, no brain, ain damn little nervous system, and
what organs they have don't make sense. I conclude these
animals don't exist. Arabic hass been swearing softly? Any luck
on the language?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
No?
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Sorry? I tested them right down to intelligence grade C
three double B. That's a MEBA class. No response. Well,
perhaps they're just completely brainless. No, the ability to do
trick shows a certain level of intelligence. They have a
language of sorts also, and a definite response pattern, but
they won't pay any attention. All they do is sing songs.
(19:39):
I think we need supper, Perhaps a slug or two
of the old stand by two. The old standby was
much in evidence at supper. After a fifth or two
had been consumed, the scientists mellowed sufficiently to consider some possibilities.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
They put together in bags. Item.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
The natives or animals showed no sign of internal organs,
no reproductive or excretive equipment. There seemed to be at
least three dozen species, not counting birds, and more appearing
every day, the same with plants. Item. The planet was
amazingly sterile and acted to keep itself so. Item. The
natives had a language, but evidently couldn't impart it to others,
(20:21):
nor could they learn another language. Item. There were no
small rocks or stone around Item. There was a tremendous
steel shaft rising to a height of at least half
a mile exact how.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
To be determined when the new pictures were developed.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Although there was no sign of a machine culture, the
shaft was obviously the productive one. Someone must have built
it and put it there. Throw it all together, and
what do you got? I have a theory. It's a
beautiful theory, sir. The way I see it, the planet
is man made. It must be. No race would evolve
(20:58):
without bacteria by a super race. The race who put
that steel spire there, They built it for the animals.
Why this is a beautiful part pure altruism. I look
at the natives, happy, playful, completely devoid of violence, rid
of all nasty habits. Don't they deserve a world to themselves,
a world where they can rop and play in an
(21:20):
eternal summer. These people are here is a reminder, a
message to all passing races that men can live in peace.
There's only one flaw in that the animals could never
have evolved naturally. You saw the X rays. That's true.
The dreamer struggled briefly with the biologists, and the dreamer lost.
(21:43):
Perhaps they're robots, that's the explanation I favor the way
I see it. The race that built that steel shaft
built these animals too. There's servants, slaves. Why they might
even think? Where are their masters? Where would the real
masters have gone? Well? How the hell should I know?
And where would these masters live? We haven't spotted anything
(22:05):
that looks like habitation. They're so far advanced they don't
need machines or houses. They lived directly with nature. Then
why do they need servants? And why did they build
the spire? That evening, the new pictures of the steel
pillar were completed, and the scientists examined them eagerly. The
top of the pillar was almost a mile high, hidden
(22:28):
in thick clouds there was a projection on either side
of the top, jutting out at right angles to a
distance of eighty five feet. When Kilpepper woke up the
next morning, something didn't feel right. He dressed and went outside.
There seemed to be something intangible in the wind. Kill
Pepper shook his head. He had faith in his premonitions.
(22:51):
They usually meant that unconsciously he had completed some process
in reasoning. Everything seemed to be in order on the ship.
The animals were outside, wandering lazily around. Kilpepper glared at
them and walked around the ship. The scientists were back
at work trying to solve the mysteries of the planet.
(23:13):
Aramic was trying to learn the language from a mournful
eyed green and silver beast. It seemed unusually apathetic this morning.
Kilpepper thought of Circe. Could the animals be people changed
into beasts by some wicked sorcerer. The crew hadn't noticed
anything different. They had headed en mass for the waterfall
(23:37):
to get in some swimming. Kilpepper signed two men to
make a microscopic inspection of the steel shaft. That worried
him more than anything else. Around midday, Aramic, the linguist
walked over. He threw his books one by one against
the side of the ship.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
I give up.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
There was beasts. You won't pay any attention now they're
barely talking, and they they've stopped doing tricks. Rap like
animals sat down suddenly, slowly, he rolled over on his
side and lay still. Two of the smaller ones with
glossy black fur toppled over. What's happening now, I'm afraid,
I know, Morrison said Germs Captain, I feel like a murderer.
(24:19):
I think we've killed these poor beasts. Remember I told
you there was no sign of any microorganism on the planet.
Think of how many we've introduced bacterias streaming off our
bodies under these hosts with no resistance. Remember I thought
you said the air had several disinfecting agents. Evidently they
didn't work fast enough. The rest of the animals around
(24:41):
the ship were falling now and lying quite still. One
of the crewmen dashed up, panting. He was still wet
from his swim by the waterfall, sir, off by the
falls the animals. And that's not all the waterfall, you know,
the waterfall it stopped, sir, it stopped running. Get the
men down here. The crewman sprinted back to the falls,
(25:04):
and Kilpepper looked around, not sure what he was looking for.
He almost had the answer. The brown forest was quiet,
now too quiet, and Kilpeper realized that the gentle, steady
breeze that had been blowing ever since they landed had stopped.
The crewmen hurried back from the waterfall, glistening wet. At
(25:26):
Kilpepper's order, they piled back into the ship. The scientists
remained standing, looking over the silent land. The man who
had been examining the shaft came running down the hill,
bounding through the long grass, as though the devil himself
were after them. What now, Eh, it's a damned shaft, sir,
it's turning the shaft. That mile high mass of incredibly
(25:52):
strong metal was being turned. Kilpepper could feel the answer
taking shape. Now there was just one more bit of evidence.
He needed one thing more. The animals sprang to their feet.
The red and silver birds started to fly again, winging
high into the air. The giraffe Hippo reared to his feet, snorted,
(26:14):
and raced off. The rest of the animals followed him
from the forest. An avalanche of strange beasts poured onto
the meadow at full speed. They headed west away from
the ship. Get back in the ship.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
That did it kill?
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Pepper knew now, and he only hoped he could get
the ship into deep space and time. Hurry the hell
up and get those engines going. But we still got
equipment scattered around. Sir, I don't see any need for
this man the guns. Suddenly there were long shadows in
the west. Captain, we haven't completed our investigation yet. You'll
(26:51):
be lucky if we live through this. How don't you
put it together yet? Close that bay, get everything tight.
You mean the turning shaft, all right? I suppose there's
some super race. That turning shaft is a key in
the side of the planet. It winds the place up.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
The whole world is like that.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Animals rivers, wind, everything runs down. The figure it out.
A place where all kinds of wonderful food hangs from
the trees, where there's no bacteriy at a hurts you,
not even a sharp rock to stub your toes. A
place filled with marvelous, amusing gentle animals, where everything's designed
to delight you. Up playground, and the shaft is a
(27:37):
key the place ran down while we made our unauthorized visit,
and now now someone's winding the planet up again. Outside
the port, the shadows, which stretching for thousands of feet
across the green meadow, hang on. Kilpepper shouted as he
punched the takeoff button. Unlike the toy animals, I don't
(28:03):
want to meet the children who play here, and I
especially don't want to meet their parents. You've heard The
(28:28):
Restricted Area, a story by Robert Sheckley, copyright nineteen fifty
three by the IF Davis Publishing Company. I'm Michael Hanson.
Technical operation for this program by Rich Grody and Mike Burns.
Mind Webbs is
Speaker 2 (28:46):
A production of WHA Radio Madison
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies!
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!