What It Means to Miss a Version of Yourself That Doesn’t Exist Anymore

Unpacking what it means to miss a version of yourself and embracing and moving forward in a positive and healthy manner.

Also if you would like to submit your thoughts to be featured in an episode here’s the link:https://forms.gle/g2rXc9pnNNFWCQ7E8

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome to after Hours. Let's talk where the night's secrets
are safe, the vibes are warm, and nothing is ever
too deep. I'm your host, Shorty, for real, and tonight
we're gonna sit with something that I think a lot

(00:27):
of us have felt, even if we didn't know how
to name it. You guys, have you ever missed a
version of yourself that doesn't exist anymore? A past you
who felt lighter, who felt braver, who felt freer or

(00:50):
even more nightive, but a whole lot less tired. If
you answered yes to that too, honey, and tonight, we're
gonna unpack that. We're going all the way there. We're
gonna sit in it, we're gonna talk about it, and

(01:11):
we're going to embrace it. But first, before we get
into that, it is time for what's on your mind? Tonight.
This is the part of the show where I take
something one of you guys shared with me anonymously, of course,

(01:32):
and we unpack it and we talk about it just
a little bit. So let's read tonight's confession. I feel
like I've outgrown everyone around me, but somehow I still
feel behind, and that one really resonates with me. It

(01:59):
hits home, you know, algorithm, people can feel like progress,
but it also brings a loneliness and it can bring
sadness sometimes, and it can also bring a little envious
jealousy and feeling behind is the kind of ache that

(02:23):
sneaks up on you when you're scrolling through everyone else's
highlight reels. And that's a little hard for us sometimes
to seeing others living their best lives and we kind
of feel just a little stuck or not as accomplished

(02:49):
or not moving at the same pace. But that's okay
because we're not supposed to be. So I do want
to remind you something I really wish someone told me sooner.
You're not behind. You are becoming and becoming looks messy

(03:14):
as hell. Okay, So it's okay because you are here
and you are doing you, honey. So if this is you, you're
not a lost baby. I promise you. You're leveling up. And

(03:36):
sometimes that means sitting in a space that doesn't look
like where you came from or even where you're headed,
and it's uncomfortable sometimes, but that's okay as well, because
we have to be uncomfortable and be outside of our

(04:01):
comfort zones and outside the box sometimes to get where
we want to be and where we need to be. So,
with that being said, have you ever looked at an
old photo of yourself? You know, smiling, maybe laughing and thin? Damn?

(04:30):
She had no idea what was coming, and yet look
at that joy. There was a version of me who
used to laugh louder you guys who said yes to everything.
I romanticized about the smallest things. That girl, that person

(04:55):
that I was. She didn't care, She didn't here who
was watching or what they thought. But I realized over
time life really started lifing for me. Disappointments came, Grief

(05:22):
made me quiet, experience made me cautious. Healing made me soft,
but also more selective, surprisingly, and sometimes late at night,

(05:47):
just like now, I miss her. I miss that person.
I missed the version of me that I didn't flinch
before trusting people. I didn't hesitate to do and try
new things. That person that danced without wondering who was judging,

(06:12):
That person who just didn't give a damn. You know,
I'm out here, I'm living my mess life. The person
that dreamed wildly without worrying how it would all come together,
because I didn't have to worry because I just knew

(06:34):
deep down that it was all gonna be okay. But
here's what I've learned. Sometimes the version of you that
you miss was only meant to carry you so far.

(06:55):
You got through things you didn't think you survive, that
thought you joy before you ever knew what pain was.
That was your beginning. But that doesn't have to be
in your destination. You can honor that person without trying

(07:21):
to become them again, you know, because realistically you will
never be them again. But who you are right now,
that's the one doing the healing, Okay. That's the one

(07:43):
who's choosing peace right now. And that's the one who's
not chasing after people who don't see them, who don't care,
who don't have good intentions, who don't have your best
at heart. And you know, that's real growth, and that's

(08:10):
so sacred, and that's something to be damn proud about.
The person you are today, right now, in this moment,
it's a beautiful thing, you guys. So I have a

(08:35):
quote of the night for you, guys. You are not
a fixed version of yourself. You are a thousand stories
still unfolding. That is a beautiful quote to me, You guys,
I want you to just let that sink in, let

(08:58):
it sit with you, carry it with you, remember it.
Tell yourself that when you start feeling like you're missing
that person, because at the end of the day, you're

(09:19):
not meant to stay the same, Okay, You're meant to shift, break, rebuild,
and rediscover over and over again. So yes, it's okay

(09:41):
to miss that person, but don't forget to love the
version of you that survive this long and long enough
to ever miss anybody. To begin, I just wanted to

(10:11):
take a moment and pause right there, because we all
need to remember that we're still here and we made
it through. So that's it for a nice episode of

(10:31):
After Hours, and let's talk. Thank you for being here,
you guys, Thank you for listening, for feeling deeply, for
staying up with me and sitting in the soft, hard,
beautiful parts of being human. If you got something on
your mind, drop it anonymously in the link in the

(10:55):
show notes. You never know it might be featured in
the next What's on your Mind Tonight? And if this
episode resonated with you, send it to someone who's missing
an old version of themselves too. They don't need to
go back but maybe, just maybe they need to hear

(11:20):
they're not alone. Until next time, my beautiful friends, take
a deep breath, take it easy, and remember the night
always has something to say.