August 18, 2025 • 16 mins
Ever been in that place where you know the person your with wasn’t good for you but you stayed anyways or kept going back? Let’s talk about it and do a deep dive into this toxic trait we all seem to have shared at some point in our lives.
If you would like to share your thoughts click the link below and it could be featured on the next episode.
https://forms.gle/g2rXc9pnNNFW...
If you would like to share your thoughts click the link below and it could be featured on the next episode.
https://forms.gle/g2rXc9pnNNFW...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome everybody. It's another episode of After Hours Let's Talk.
It's late, the world's quiet, and if you're listening to this,
I already know you've been there, that person you knew
wasn't good for you, the one who made you question
(00:23):
your own worth, your sanity, or patience, and yet you
kept going back. Tonight, we're going to talk about why
we do it, why we're drawing to people who set
our hearts on fire, even if it burns us in
(00:43):
the process. This is After Hours Let's Talk. In Tonight's
conversation might get a little uncomfortable, but that's what we're
here to do. Tonight's episode is why we fall for
people who aren't good for us. So we're gonna start
(01:08):
the segment out with what's on your mind tonight. I
have a few submissions. The first one is from Jasmine.
She writes, there's this guy. I know he's bad for me.
He's inconsistent, always keeping me guessing. I feel drained after
(01:34):
every conversation, but when he's sleeps, it's like nothing else matters.
Why can't I just let him go? Well, Jasmine, if
you're listening, you're not alone. We all have that one
person who feels like a mix of poison and honey,
(01:57):
sweet enough to keep us tasting, toxic enough to keep
us hurting. Sometimes the worst part is, deep down we
already know the answer, we just don't want to face it.
And that's a sad, sad truth, because we always have
(02:21):
the answers that we're looking for and it is a
hard reality sometimes to accept them. Our next submission comes
from Terry. Terry writes, people are fake and don't take
(02:41):
accountability for nothing, and this is very true Terry. Nowadays
people have no accountability for anything they do in life
to others or to theirself. It's all about shifting blame
on others. No one wants to see themselves and have
(03:02):
to take responsibility for their herday calls or the problems
they create in other people's lives. It's a hard reality,
but we have to be aware and be careful of
people like this and not allow them into our most
intimate moments and spaces. It's hard to do, but it
(03:28):
is very necessary. Thank you all for your thoughts tonight.
As always, they have been very insightful and very provoking.
And with that being said, it's time to take a
deep dive into tonight's conversation. So let me tell you, guys,
(03:55):
about someone I want to do. You have this way
of looking at me, and we had this way of
making me feel as if I was the only person
in the world that mattered. When we were together, it
was very magical, very sweet, very loving. We laughed, we
(04:22):
held each other, we teased one another, and just enjoyed
each other's company. But as always, the good times we're good.
(04:47):
I had to take a moment because it's a little
hard for me to talk about things like this, you know,
opening myself up. The good times were good, but the
bad times we're bad. You know. There wasn't any communication
(05:12):
for days. Sometimes I would get one word of responses
and very short and to the point conversations when we
did speak. I mean, I felt very lonely. It was
(05:38):
very lonely at times there were other women, and I
had a lot of lonely, lonely nights, you guys. But
I loved him. I loved him so much. I loved
(06:01):
him with everything I had in me. Then when things
were good, they were great, and I just couldn't find
it in myself to walk away, because no matter how
good things were, those bad times really hurt, and a
(06:28):
person can only take so much. And as always, he
found ways to convince me that things would get better.
He wouldn't do these things anymore, It's just me and
we'd be able to be okay and be yes like
(06:55):
we were before. But that didn't stand true. Things didn't change,
things didn't get better, and I still stayed. The toxicity
(07:15):
of the ups and the downs became very dreak. Having
a roller coaster of emotions being treated good one day
and treated like you're nothing the next is exhausting and
overwhelming and tiring. It's no fun being on that roller
(07:41):
coaster at all. I stayed as long as I did
because I loved him, and I wanted those good days
to continue. If they came far in between, I didn't care,
because they you know. And I wanted to hold on
(08:06):
to that no matter what. I was holding on to
the potential and the goodness and the person that I
fell in love with in the beginning and what I
(08:29):
knew he could be. I wanted to hold on to
that no matter how much everything else he was doing
was hurting me in the meantime. And you know what,
we tend to do this as humans because we see
the good and we feel we can get that back
(08:52):
if we just do this or tweak that. But here's
the thing. When someone is inconsistent, your brain doesn't know
when the next good moment is coming. That unpredictability it
(09:13):
hits your dopamine receptors like a jackpot machine. It's literally
addictive because we're preaching and we're searching, and we're we're
going back just hoping that you know, it'll happen. It
will happen, It will happen. I can get that back.
(09:35):
I can we can be good again, we can be
great again. You know, we're chasing and chasing and chasing
something and that is literally very addictive. When you want
something so badly, then there's that flament that gets me
(09:55):
tonight because then there's that familiarity. If you grew up
in an environment where love felt like something, you've had
chaos gain feel normal. It's something that we cling too
(10:19):
because it's all we know. You know, and let's not
forget the ego part of us thinks, if I can
get this person to treat me right, I win. Let's spoiler, alarn,
(10:40):
you don't win. You don't win it all. You just lose.
You lose yourself, You lose your confidence, you lose your
sense of happiness and that joy and spark in your eyes.
(11:10):
You stop thinking that good things can happen. Despair sets
in and depression takes over, sadness and hurt, and you
lose yourself. Slowly but surely, you lose the essence of
(11:33):
who you are and who you were before that person
walked into your eye. You start becoming someone you don't
recognize anymore, and either does your family or your friends.
No one, no one that knows you recognizes you anymore
(11:54):
because you're not that person anymore. So why do we stay?
Because hope is a hell of a drug, and that
it is. We remember the good moments even if they're aware,
and convince ourselves they mean something better. But here's the truth.
(12:20):
Healthy love isn't a guessing game. It's steady, it's safe,
and it doesn't require you to break yourself just to
keep it. Let that sink in, reflect on that for
a while, because love should never be broken. You shouldn't
(12:47):
be broken just to love. Yes, love hurts sometimes, and
love can be said, but love should never cause you
to not recognize yourself and change the essence of who
(13:07):
you are. With that being said, tonight's quote of the night,
sometimes the person you want most is the person you're
best without. Let that sit with you, because wanting isn't
(13:36):
the same as meeting. Loving someone doesn't mean you have
to keep Remember sometimes it's best to let them go.
It may hurt, but sometimes it does require us, require us,
(14:00):
So let it go, Let them go. So with that
being said, you guys, we've come to the end of
the night, end of this conversation. Hit home. Know this.
(14:23):
You're not broken for one someone who isn't good for you.
You're human, but you deserve love that feels like peace,
not like war. Shouldn't hurt, shouldn't be chaotic, shouldn't require
(14:46):
so much draining the energy from you. It should be natural,
It should flow, It should extend who you are. So
(15:11):
know this. You're not broken for one as someone who
isn't good for you. You're human. Please know that. Send
me your submissions, your thoughts for the next week's episode
or the next day. The link is in the episode description,
(15:41):
and send this to those that may be able to
benefit it from this or have been going through something
like this. You never know when someone just needs to
hear your kind voice. Until then, take a breath, protect
(16:07):
your peace and protect your heart, and take it easy
and remember the night. Always have something to say. Until
next time. Guys, I'm your host Shorty for real and
(16:32):
this has been after hours. Let's talk Connect
Welcome everybody. It's another episode of After Hours Let's Talk.
It's late, the world's quiet, and if you're listening to this,
I already know you've been there, that person you knew
wasn't good for you, the one who made you question
(00:23):
your own worth, your sanity, or patience, and yet you
kept going back. Tonight, we're going to talk about why
we do it, why we're drawing to people who set
our hearts on fire, even if it burns us in
(00:43):
the process. This is After Hours Let's Talk. In Tonight's
conversation might get a little uncomfortable, but that's what we're
here to do. Tonight's episode is why we fall for
people who aren't good for us. So we're gonna start
(01:08):
the segment out with what's on your mind tonight. I
have a few submissions. The first one is from Jasmine.
She writes, there's this guy. I know he's bad for me.
He's inconsistent, always keeping me guessing. I feel drained after
(01:34):
every conversation, but when he's sleeps, it's like nothing else matters.
Why can't I just let him go? Well, Jasmine, if
you're listening, you're not alone. We all have that one
person who feels like a mix of poison and honey,
(01:57):
sweet enough to keep us tasting, toxic enough to keep
us hurting. Sometimes the worst part is, deep down we
already know the answer, we just don't want to face it.
And that's a sad, sad truth, because we always have
(02:21):
the answers that we're looking for and it is a
hard reality sometimes to accept them. Our next submission comes
from Terry. Terry writes, people are fake and don't take
(02:41):
accountability for nothing, and this is very true Terry. Nowadays
people have no accountability for anything they do in life
to others or to theirself. It's all about shifting blame
on others. No one wants to see themselves and have
(03:02):
to take responsibility for their herday calls or the problems
they create in other people's lives. It's a hard reality,
but we have to be aware and be careful of
people like this and not allow them into our most
intimate moments and spaces. It's hard to do, but it
(03:28):
is very necessary. Thank you all for your thoughts tonight.
As always, they have been very insightful and very provoking.
And with that being said, it's time to take a
deep dive into tonight's conversation. So let me tell you, guys,
(03:55):
about someone I want to do. You have this way
of looking at me, and we had this way of
making me feel as if I was the only person
in the world that mattered. When we were together, it
was very magical, very sweet, very loving. We laughed, we
(04:22):
held each other, we teased one another, and just enjoyed
each other's company. But as always, the good times we're good.
(04:47):
I had to take a moment because it's a little
hard for me to talk about things like this, you know,
opening myself up. The good times were good, but the
bad times we're bad. You know. There wasn't any communication
(05:12):
for days. Sometimes I would get one word of responses
and very short and to the point conversations when we
did speak. I mean, I felt very lonely. It was
(05:38):
very lonely at times there were other women, and I
had a lot of lonely, lonely nights, you guys. But
I loved him. I loved him so much. I loved
(06:01):
him with everything I had in me. Then when things
were good, they were great, and I just couldn't find
it in myself to walk away, because no matter how
good things were, those bad times really hurt, and a
(06:28):
person can only take so much. And as always, he
found ways to convince me that things would get better.
He wouldn't do these things anymore, It's just me and
we'd be able to be okay and be yes like
(06:55):
we were before. But that didn't stand true. Things didn't change,
things didn't get better, and I still stayed. The toxicity
(07:15):
of the ups and the downs became very dreak. Having
a roller coaster of emotions being treated good one day
and treated like you're nothing the next is exhausting and
overwhelming and tiring. It's no fun being on that roller
(07:41):
coaster at all. I stayed as long as I did
because I loved him, and I wanted those good days
to continue. If they came far in between, I didn't care,
because they you know. And I wanted to hold on
(08:06):
to that no matter what. I was holding on to
the potential and the goodness and the person that I
fell in love with in the beginning and what I
(08:29):
knew he could be. I wanted to hold on to
that no matter how much everything else he was doing
was hurting me in the meantime. And you know what,
we tend to do this as humans because we see
the good and we feel we can get that back
(08:52):
if we just do this or tweak that. But here's
the thing. When someone is inconsistent, your brain doesn't know
when the next good moment is coming. That unpredictability it
(09:13):
hits your dopamine receptors like a jackpot machine. It's literally
addictive because we're preaching and we're searching, and we're we're
going back just hoping that you know, it'll happen. It
will happen, It will happen. I can get that back.
(09:35):
I can we can be good again, we can be
great again. You know, we're chasing and chasing and chasing
something and that is literally very addictive. When you want
something so badly, then there's that flament that gets me
(09:55):
tonight because then there's that familiarity. If you grew up
in an environment where love felt like something, you've had
chaos gain feel normal. It's something that we cling too
(10:19):
because it's all we know. You know, and let's not
forget the ego part of us thinks, if I can
get this person to treat me right, I win. Let's spoiler, alarn,
(10:40):
you don't win. You don't win it all. You just lose.
You lose yourself, You lose your confidence, you lose your
sense of happiness and that joy and spark in your eyes.
(11:10):
You stop thinking that good things can happen. Despair sets
in and depression takes over, sadness and hurt, and you
lose yourself. Slowly but surely, you lose the essence of
(11:33):
who you are and who you were before that person
walked into your eye. You start becoming someone you don't
recognize anymore, and either does your family or your friends.
No one, no one that knows you recognizes you anymore
(11:54):
because you're not that person anymore. So why do we stay?
Because hope is a hell of a drug, and that
it is. We remember the good moments even if they're aware,
and convince ourselves they mean something better. But here's the truth.
(12:20):
Healthy love isn't a guessing game. It's steady, it's safe,
and it doesn't require you to break yourself just to
keep it. Let that sink in, reflect on that for
a while, because love should never be broken. You shouldn't
(12:47):
be broken just to love. Yes, love hurts sometimes, and
love can be said, but love should never cause you
to not recognize yourself and change the essence of who
(13:07):
you are. With that being said, tonight's quote of the night,
sometimes the person you want most is the person you're
best without. Let that sit with you, because wanting isn't
(13:36):
the same as meeting. Loving someone doesn't mean you have
to keep Remember sometimes it's best to let them go.
It may hurt, but sometimes it does require us, require us,
(14:00):
So let it go, Let them go. So with that
being said, you guys, we've come to the end of
the night, end of this conversation. Hit home. Know this.
(14:23):
You're not broken for one someone who isn't good for you.
You're human, but you deserve love that feels like peace,
not like war. Shouldn't hurt, shouldn't be chaotic, shouldn't require
(14:46):
so much draining the energy from you. It should be natural,
It should flow, It should extend who you are. So
(15:11):
know this. You're not broken for one as someone who
isn't good for you. You're human. Please know that. Send
me your submissions, your thoughts for the next week's episode
or the next day. The link is in the episode description,
(15:41):
and send this to those that may be able to
benefit it from this or have been going through something
like this. You never know when someone just needs to
hear your kind voice. Until then, take a breath, protect
(16:07):
your peace and protect your heart, and take it easy
and remember the night. Always have something to say. Until
next time. Guys, I'm your host Shorty for real and
(16:32):
this has been after hours. Let's talk Connect
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