August 11, 2025 • 17 mins
A conversation about loyalty and how no matter how much we would like to control other’s loyalty we simply just can’t. But thought provoking submissions and a different approach and prospective on what it looks like shows up as and don’t. With some advice if you choose to take it on how to deal and navigate through it when it’s feeling tough.
Here’s the link to submit your thoughts to be featured on the next episode in the What’s On Your Mind Tonight segment.
https://forms.gle/g2rXc9pnNNFW...
Here’s the link to submit your thoughts to be featured on the next episode in the What’s On Your Mind Tonight segment.
https://forms.gle/g2rXc9pnNNFW...
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Welcome back to everybody. It is after hours. Let's talk
the place where the night's secrets are safe and nothing
is off limits. Tonight's topic is one that hits team.
We're talking about loyalty and that gut punching feeling when
you realize you can't control it. You can't control someone's loyalty,
(00:50):
no matter how much you've been there for them, no
matter what you've done, no matter the history you share.
The worst part sometimes it's not the strangers who disappoint you,
it's the people you swore would never So let's talk
(01:11):
about it. But first, this is the part of the
show that's called What's on your Mind Tonight. I have
two submissions tonight that we are going to be reading.
So the first one comes from someone who wrote, we
(01:34):
as humans tend to believe we can control things, but
loyalty of another person is not one of them. No
matter the relationship, loyalty would never be the same in
anyone's head because we all have our own perception of
what that is. Loyalty is devotion, and devotion is the
(01:57):
enthusiasm for a person. That is something we lack as humans.
Based on interaction and encounters from previous relationships with people
that may have shown negative behaviors that lead to the
downfall in a growing spirit. You know what, I never
thought of it that way, and I must say that
(02:21):
was very thought provoking. It makes me reevaluate how I
think about loyalty and devotion together as one. So thank
you for that. And then we have one more what's
on your mind tonight? And they wrote, I've been thinking
(02:42):
of how easy it is for men to detach themselves
from relationships that women would fight to keep. It's just
amazing how much lack of loyalty these men actually have
to their spouses and significant others. Sorry hoazas well. If
(03:03):
you've ever been there, you know how much that can
truly hurt. And here's the thing. Loyalty has never returned
in the manner in which you give it. You can't
control loyalty in someone else because you don't at all
look at it the same way. Unfortunately, we can't buy it,
(03:25):
we can't force it, and be sure as hell can't
expect it from everyone you love, call your family or
your friends or partners. That was deep. Thank you guys
(03:46):
both for those submissions and really truly appreciate those so
let's get into our main segment here, guys. As I'm
sitting here tonight, I used to think loyal to was automatic,
that if you're real with people, they'll be real with you.
(04:10):
I truly believe that as long as I'm honest and
I'm real, and I'm a real friend and partner, that
I would get that in return from people in my life.
You know, loyalty meant to me that I have your
back no matter what, and I'll show up for you
no matter what we go through life. But I started
(04:31):
realizing as I got older that I was showing up
for people that would in a blink of an eye,
never once think twice to do the same for me,
or even care about me, or worry if they're hurting me,
(04:53):
just as long as they got what they needed in
I started noticing I was draining myself for people who
wouldn't care if I lost everything, including myself. And that's
a hard reality to come to. I've had relationships where
(05:15):
I've stood ten toes down with hard for people, gave
them everything I could when I could and even when
I could not. I was there for people in the
most vulnerable and their most difficult, in their most lowest
moments as well as their most happiest and most excited moments,
(05:42):
just for them to not be there for me in
the same way that hurt. It hurt me a lot
to know that people couldn't show up for me the
way that I showed up for them, because I truly cared.
My loyalty for people about it runs so deep, you guys,
(06:03):
and so hard, just like the love I have, And
it hurts my soul to know all that people didn't
show the same energy, the same love, and the same
loyalty like I did for them. But you know, one day,
(06:24):
it really just hit me their loyalty was never mine
to control. I mean, I could be the best friend
in the world, the best partner in the world, but
if someone doesn't choose to be loyal to me, there's
nothing I could do that would ever change that. I
(06:50):
think we all have to realize that loyalty isn't a transaction.
It's not a debt someone owes you. It's a decision
they make over and over again, special when it's hard.
(07:10):
And I realized I was choosing them and my loyalty
to them over and over again, and they were never choosing.
I mean, got to really let that sink in, to
choose someone over and over again and realize that they're
(07:35):
never choosing you back. They're never choosing to show up
for you, they're never choosing to be loyal to you,
they're never choosing to be there for you. It's gut wrenching.
It's so crushing to finally realize that the loyalty you
(07:59):
put out there and give to others, it's something that
you don't get back. But I guess that's the way
of the world, right. We can't expect everyone or the
(08:19):
people in our lives to be and think the same
way that we do, to give and feel the same
way that we do. My morals and my values are
not the same as someone else's, and I think once
(08:39):
we come to realize that and understand that, it makes
navigating through these life obstacles easier, less gut wrenching, less hurtful.
(09:03):
You know what, Here's what hurts. When you try to
control loaity. You start begging for the bare minimum. You
start accepting crumbs just because you remember the feast you
once had with them. And we do that a lot,
(09:30):
just being human. You know, we hold on to the
good times. We hold onto those great moments, those good
moments and how a person was before, and we hold
on to that hoping that they'll be that way again
(09:51):
or you'll get that again. And the hard reality is
that you may never People change constantly from day to day,
year to year. We're never the same person. But you know,
(10:14):
those crumbs will never feel you. So you have to
find what's good for you, what's feeling for you. You
have to find those people in your life that are
gonna fill you up and provide the loyalty and the
love that you need and that you deserve. I really
(10:39):
had to learn to stout chasing people to keep their
promises and just chasing people the period just to be
a good person to me. If someone wants you in
their life or wants to be in your life, they'll
(11:02):
be there. You won't have to beg you won't have
to chase. They will show up for you every single
time because they want to be there. And if they don't,
their absence is your answer, and it's their answer as well,
(11:26):
because they decided that they don't want to be in
your life, and them not being there is your undeniable
answer that they don't want to be and we can't
force any want to do anything that they don't want
to do, so I must say loyalty is shown in silence,
(11:57):
in how people talk about you when you're not around,
and how they show up when it's inconvenient, and how
they hold your name with respect even when you're not
on speaking terms. That's true loyalty being there, regardless of
(12:22):
what you're going through, how you may feel about a
person having the utmost respect because you love and care
about them, to be there to show them respect, to
not tarnish them even when you don't feel that great
(12:45):
about them. I mean, but each his own right. Loyalty
means so many different things to so many different people,
And unfortunately, at the end of the day, once you
(13:07):
see that a person's loyalty doesn't match yours or doesn't
show up in those ways that I just mentioned in silence,
when people talk about you when you're not around, showing
up when it's inconvenient, folding your name with respect when
(13:29):
you're not on speaking terms, they're not showing that. Once
you see that, you can't unsee it. So that brings
me into tonight's quote of the night You guys, loyalty
(13:52):
is proven not promised words are easy. Action is hard,
and it's in those moments where loyalty or the lack
of it is revealed. Hold on to that, you guys,
(14:17):
write down, remember it when you just need a small
reminder when you're dealing with wondering why someone's loyalty isn't
being matched by your sense of loyalty. So if you're
(14:38):
holding on to someone who's already let you go, remember
you can't control loyalty, but you can control who gets
access to you. Protect your space, protect your heart, and
pay attention to the people who are consistent in both
(15:01):
your sunny days and your stones, because at the end
of the day, loyalty is a reflection of them, not you.
With that being said, if this episode resonated with you tonight,
(15:22):
send it to someone who's wondering if you can control
someone's loyalty. They don't need to question why or why
not someone is being loyal or isn't being loyal any longer,
But maybe, just maybe they need to hear they're not
(15:45):
alone when it comes to where they stand in this
journey of loyalty that we are all experiencing. This is
after hours, Let's talk. I'm your host, shorty for real
(16:05):
and if you would like to be featured in the
What's on your Mind Tonight segment, The link to the
submission forum is in the episode description. Until next time,
my beautiful friends, take a breath, take it easy, and
remember the night always has something to say. Good night, guys, Yeah,
Welcome back to everybody. It is after hours. Let's talk
the place where the night's secrets are safe and nothing
is off limits. Tonight's topic is one that hits team.
We're talking about loyalty and that gut punching feeling when
you realize you can't control it. You can't control someone's loyalty,
(00:50):
no matter how much you've been there for them, no
matter what you've done, no matter the history you share.
The worst part sometimes it's not the strangers who disappoint you,
it's the people you swore would never So let's talk
(01:11):
about it. But first, this is the part of the
show that's called What's on your Mind Tonight. I have
two submissions tonight that we are going to be reading.
So the first one comes from someone who wrote, we
(01:34):
as humans tend to believe we can control things, but
loyalty of another person is not one of them. No
matter the relationship, loyalty would never be the same in
anyone's head because we all have our own perception of
what that is. Loyalty is devotion, and devotion is the
(01:57):
enthusiasm for a person. That is something we lack as humans.
Based on interaction and encounters from previous relationships with people
that may have shown negative behaviors that lead to the
downfall in a growing spirit. You know what, I never
thought of it that way, and I must say that
(02:21):
was very thought provoking. It makes me reevaluate how I
think about loyalty and devotion together as one. So thank
you for that. And then we have one more what's
on your mind tonight? And they wrote, I've been thinking
(02:42):
of how easy it is for men to detach themselves
from relationships that women would fight to keep. It's just
amazing how much lack of loyalty these men actually have
to their spouses and significant others. Sorry hoazas well. If
(03:03):
you've ever been there, you know how much that can
truly hurt. And here's the thing. Loyalty has never returned
in the manner in which you give it. You can't
control loyalty in someone else because you don't at all
look at it the same way. Unfortunately, we can't buy it,
(03:25):
we can't force it, and be sure as hell can't
expect it from everyone you love, call your family or
your friends or partners. That was deep. Thank you guys
(03:46):
both for those submissions and really truly appreciate those so
let's get into our main segment here, guys. As I'm
sitting here tonight, I used to think loyal to was automatic,
that if you're real with people, they'll be real with you.
(04:10):
I truly believe that as long as I'm honest and
I'm real, and I'm a real friend and partner, that
I would get that in return from people in my life.
You know, loyalty meant to me that I have your
back no matter what, and I'll show up for you
no matter what we go through life. But I started
(04:31):
realizing as I got older that I was showing up
for people that would in a blink of an eye,
never once think twice to do the same for me,
or even care about me, or worry if they're hurting me,
(04:53):
just as long as they got what they needed in
I started noticing I was draining myself for people who
wouldn't care if I lost everything, including myself. And that's
a hard reality to come to. I've had relationships where
(05:15):
I've stood ten toes down with hard for people, gave
them everything I could when I could and even when
I could not. I was there for people in the
most vulnerable and their most difficult, in their most lowest
moments as well as their most happiest and most excited moments,
(05:42):
just for them to not be there for me in
the same way that hurt. It hurt me a lot
to know that people couldn't show up for me the
way that I showed up for them, because I truly cared.
My loyalty for people about it runs so deep, you guys,
(06:03):
and so hard, just like the love I have, And
it hurts my soul to know all that people didn't
show the same energy, the same love, and the same
loyalty like I did for them. But you know, one day,
(06:24):
it really just hit me their loyalty was never mine
to control. I mean, I could be the best friend
in the world, the best partner in the world, but
if someone doesn't choose to be loyal to me, there's
nothing I could do that would ever change that. I
(06:50):
think we all have to realize that loyalty isn't a transaction.
It's not a debt someone owes you. It's a decision
they make over and over again, special when it's hard.
(07:10):
And I realized I was choosing them and my loyalty
to them over and over again, and they were never choosing.
I mean, got to really let that sink in, to
choose someone over and over again and realize that they're
(07:35):
never choosing you back. They're never choosing to show up
for you, they're never choosing to be loyal to you,
they're never choosing to be there for you. It's gut wrenching.
It's so crushing to finally realize that the loyalty you
(07:59):
put out there and give to others, it's something that
you don't get back. But I guess that's the way
of the world, right. We can't expect everyone or the
(08:19):
people in our lives to be and think the same
way that we do, to give and feel the same
way that we do. My morals and my values are
not the same as someone else's, and I think once
(08:39):
we come to realize that and understand that, it makes
navigating through these life obstacles easier, less gut wrenching, less hurtful.
(09:03):
You know what, Here's what hurts. When you try to
control loaity. You start begging for the bare minimum. You
start accepting crumbs just because you remember the feast you
once had with them. And we do that a lot,
(09:30):
just being human. You know, we hold on to the
good times. We hold onto those great moments, those good
moments and how a person was before, and we hold
on to that hoping that they'll be that way again
(09:51):
or you'll get that again. And the hard reality is
that you may never People change constantly from day to day,
year to year. We're never the same person. But you know,
(10:14):
those crumbs will never feel you. So you have to
find what's good for you, what's feeling for you. You
have to find those people in your life that are
gonna fill you up and provide the loyalty and the
love that you need and that you deserve. I really
(10:39):
had to learn to stout chasing people to keep their
promises and just chasing people the period just to be
a good person to me. If someone wants you in
their life or wants to be in your life, they'll
(11:02):
be there. You won't have to beg you won't have
to chase. They will show up for you every single
time because they want to be there. And if they don't,
their absence is your answer, and it's their answer as well,
(11:26):
because they decided that they don't want to be in
your life, and them not being there is your undeniable
answer that they don't want to be and we can't
force any want to do anything that they don't want
to do, so I must say loyalty is shown in silence,
(11:57):
in how people talk about you when you're not around,
and how they show up when it's inconvenient, and how
they hold your name with respect even when you're not
on speaking terms. That's true loyalty being there, regardless of
(12:22):
what you're going through, how you may feel about a
person having the utmost respect because you love and care
about them, to be there to show them respect, to
not tarnish them even when you don't feel that great
(12:45):
about them. I mean, but each his own right. Loyalty
means so many different things to so many different people,
And unfortunately, at the end of the day, once you
(13:07):
see that a person's loyalty doesn't match yours or doesn't
show up in those ways that I just mentioned in silence,
when people talk about you when you're not around, showing
up when it's inconvenient, folding your name with respect when
(13:29):
you're not on speaking terms, they're not showing that. Once
you see that, you can't unsee it. So that brings
me into tonight's quote of the night You guys, loyalty
(13:52):
is proven not promised words are easy. Action is hard,
and it's in those moments where loyalty or the lack
of it is revealed. Hold on to that, you guys,
(14:17):
write down, remember it when you just need a small
reminder when you're dealing with wondering why someone's loyalty isn't
being matched by your sense of loyalty. So if you're
(14:38):
holding on to someone who's already let you go, remember
you can't control loyalty, but you can control who gets
access to you. Protect your space, protect your heart, and
pay attention to the people who are consistent in both
(15:01):
your sunny days and your stones, because at the end
of the day, loyalty is a reflection of them, not you.
With that being said, if this episode resonated with you tonight,
(15:22):
send it to someone who's wondering if you can control
someone's loyalty. They don't need to question why or why
not someone is being loyal or isn't being loyal any longer,
But maybe, just maybe they need to hear they're not
(15:45):
alone when it comes to where they stand in this
journey of loyalty that we are all experiencing. This is
after hours, Let's talk. I'm your host, shorty for real
(16:05):
and if you would like to be featured in the
What's on your Mind Tonight segment, The link to the
submission forum is in the episode description. Until next time,
my beautiful friends, take a breath, take it easy, and
remember the night always has something to say. Good night, guys, Yeah,
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