Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARBFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on type.
We got it for you here it is Strawberry.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Let up, Thank you, nephew. Subject my success is intimidating.
Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm thirty seven and never been married.
I was in a four year relationship and when I
got promoted, my boyfriend left the relationship. We met on
an online dating site for professionals, and we were compatible
on so many levels. He is an administrator at his
(00:48):
job and I was a team leader. When we started dating.
I wanted love and he provided that. But he also
added a lot of competition to our relationship. When I
get dressed in the morning to head out to work,
he'd say I looked powerful instead of beautiful, and he
would tell me to boss up if I complained about
stress at work. He treated me like he was my
(01:09):
mentor and I was beneath them professionally, but I actually
made more money than him. Then I got a promotion
and a company car, and he overheard me telling my
mom what I'd be making annually. He insinuated that I
was too close to my boss and that's why I
got a promotion. We argued for days, and then he
(01:30):
moved out. Since we broke up, I've had a few dates,
but I haven't found a man that matches me intellectually
or financially. One guy told me that my success is
very intimidating. I wish men could see my sweet and
nurturing side, but as soon as I tell them what
I do for a living, they decide that I don't
have time for a relationship. I have thought about telling
(01:54):
guys that I have an entry level job, just to
see if they would ask me out again. There are
so many sides of me, and I would hate to
have to diminish all that I am to satisfy a man.
My ex married and art teacher go figure. So are
women expected to bet our eyelashes and act needy to
(02:14):
get a husband. That's true for insecure, controlling men. If
you want that for your husband. They do try to
compete with you and knock you down a few pegs,
but you shouldn't have to dim your light or make
yourself smaller for any man. A real man would want
you to be all that you can be and would
support you every step of the way. He would celebrate you.
(02:38):
Relationships are supposed to be partnerships that lead to marriage
or whatever, and unfortunately a lot of women do dumb
themselves down to get a man. My advice to you
is simply to be yourself. Don't change who you are,
shine brightly, wait for the right man to come along
and to accept you for who you are, a strong,
(02:58):
confident woman. I mean the people let your job see it.
Why can't he? Why can't your ex see it? Steve?
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Real men are not intimidated by women, period.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Uh huh.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Real men are not intimidated by women.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Period.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Now, if you're dating an underdeveloped man, that was your pick.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
You picked him. So listen.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
I understand the narrative that women have created. And this
is more or less about an open discussion between me
and the ladies on.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
The show, because this letter is.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
How many times have we heard this that women live
under the the guys, or the illusion or delusion that
men are intimidated by your success.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Now I offer this to you.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Sometimes men are not intimidated, but ashamed. Sometimes men are
not where they want to be and are a bit
embarrassed by it when they find out that you are,
(04:12):
and because it becomes a bit of shame and embarrassment.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
But there are so many women.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
That have taken this and turned it into I intimidate them.
And I guess that was a fair thing for you
all to say, because.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
It sounds empowering.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
But I want to adjust offer you an alternative line
of thinking. And if you had this alternative line of thinking,
it could help you cope with it. Now, Steve, why
women always got the dumb it down.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
And figured this out?
Speaker 3 (04:50):
You do want to wrote the letter in say you
want somebody. I ain't never wrote a letter in and
said I wanted nobody. So now if you he want somebody,
there's a game to this.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
There's some gamesmanship.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
It's gamesmanship that men have to play to get you,
and you know it. And it's things that you require
and you know it. So when something gets required of you,
some type of gamesmanship, you ain't got to get mad
at Uncle Steve because he telling you the game. I'm
just trying to help you with the game.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Now.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
I could use this letter, which I think i'll do,
but I wanted to say that first so we could
get on the same page. I really want women to
understand this. Y'all met online for professionals, and we were
compatible on so many levels. He's an administrator, I was
a team leader.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
I wanted love and all this here.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
When I got dressed in the morning and had to work,
he'd say I look powerful instead of beautiful. He would
tell me the boss up if I complained about stress.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
At the work.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
He treated me like my mentor, and I was beneath
him professionally. You the one went on this dating site
for professionals.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
That's where you went.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
You looked for people with similar mind sex. You want
a professional man, but what you oftentimes forget is a
lot of men bringing their jobs home. So that guy
that's a professional at work, he tried. He acts like
(06:32):
he's a professional at the house too. Boss up, you
look powerful today.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Goodbye.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
All right, we'll have part two of your response coming up.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Steve.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
At twenty three minutes after the hour, Today's Strawberry letter
subject my success is intimidating. We'll get back into it
right after this. All right, come on, Steve, let's recap
today's strawberry letter. The subject is my success is intimidating.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Okay, I've told you the way that I want you
all sometimes to consider this, and I appreciate it. I
understand why you say it's intimidating, because intimidating is a
more empowering term.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
I give it to you.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
And you've earned what you've earned, and you deserve to
be where you are, and congratulations. But a real man
is not intimidated by your success. Now, some men are
ashamed of where they are.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
So there's a bit of shame.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
When they meet a woman who has it together and
a bit of what do you call it, disappointment in themselves.
But if you want to call it intimidation for the
sake of the letter, Okay, so you're intimidating, I'm just
offering you a way. So now, but I want to
show you something in this letter that I just noticed. So,
(07:47):
you were in a four year relationship then, and when
you got promoted, your boyfriend left the relationship. Now you
met on an online dating site for professionals.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Right here.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
You went seeking this type of man, Well, you got it.
We would compare on so many levels. He's an administrator
at his job. I was a team leader. When we
started dating, I wanted love and he provided that. But
he also added a lot of competition to our relationship. Okay,
you're in the professional zone. Now, that's what y'all do
in corporate America. When I got dressed in the morning
(08:22):
to head out the work, he said I look powerful
instead of I look beautiful. He would tell me to
boss up if I complained about stress at work. See,
you meet these professional men, so you think, and they
bring their job home because he thinks that's what you like.
And now that's what he trying to be. Now here,
go to park. Right here. He treated me like he
(08:42):
was my mentor and I was beneath him professionally. Whoa
wait a minute, now hold up. Now, you either want
a man in charge. You want a man that was
Sholey you can crown. You want a man that's a
I don't know what you want because when he acts
like he your mean it minutor mentor. And then you
(09:04):
say I was beneath him professionally, But I actually made
more money than him. Okay, okay, see, you got to
make up your mind now. Oh, because you make more
money than him, he can't tell you nothing, He can't
act like he mint and you. He do know the
(09:26):
male side of things that he can offer to you
and that you may not have from female perspective.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Okay, but I actually mail more money in him.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Then I got a promotion and a company car, and
he overheard me telling my mom what I'd be making annually.
He insinuated that I was too close to my boss
and that's why I got a promotion. Oh, now he
gonna make you think you slapt your way to the tongue.
Understand your anger. Like I said, sister, you got your education,
you did the credentials, you put your time in. You
(09:58):
deserve to be who you're gonna be. We arguing for days,
and then he moved out. He couldn't take it no
more because I think he got ashamed of where you
were getting too. And he wasn't because now he mentoring
you getting promotions, company cars, making most salary, all this help. Now,
(10:20):
since we broke up, you'd have had a few dates
and I ain't found a man that matches me.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Intellectually or financially.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
One guy told me that my success was very intimidating.
I told you, real men, not intimidating. That this little
boy you'd have met with all these little hang ups
in his own little life. That's what he gonna tell you.
I wish me and could see my sweet and nurturing inside.
But as soon as I tell him what I do
for a living, they decided that I don't have time
for a relationship. I've thought about telling guys that have
(10:48):
an entry level job, just to see if they would
ask me how to can I ain't go ahead try that.
There are so many sides of me. I would hate
to have to diminish all that I am to say
that as five men, So let me ask you a question.
When you say you don't want to diminish all that
(11:11):
I am just to satisfy man. So are you leading
with all this in the conversation? Have you made this
a level of importance to you because you don't want
you You can't find a man that intellectually matches you
or financially that seems to be a package deal with you.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
So now.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Are you looking for a good man or are you
looking for a certain.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Type of man.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
And it's okay, you got every right to want what
you want, but in here can be part of the
problem because if you're not just looking for a good man,
if you're looking for a good man with a certain
type of job making a certain amount of money, then
get in line, because everybody looking for him. So I'm
(12:05):
not gonna be able to help you because you've created
all of the stereotypes to keep you right where you.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Need to be. You're intimidating to men. You make more
money than him. How he met her?
Speaker 3 (12:16):
In me? Okay, I don't know what to tell you.
My ex married an art teacher. Go figure, Well, yeah,
yeah he got he married an art teacher.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Go figure, what's see you? You? You you throwing me
a little bit? What's the matter with the art teacher?
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Oh she ain't a professional, she ain't a team leader,
or she don't make the money you may?
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Oh, all right, So now you ain't happy? What men
make all other women? You?
Speaker 1 (12:50):
And today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey f them on
Instagram and.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
So women expected to better our lives and that needed
for a husband.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
I like our Oh stop that.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the Free art
Radio app Free Never Sounded So good.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
You can download it today.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Now coming up with forty six minutes after the hour,
we got Junior and Sports Talk.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Right after this.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARBFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on type.
We got it for you here it is Strawberry.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Let up, Thank you, nephew. Subject my success is intimidating.
Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm thirty seven and never been married.
I was in a four year relationship and when I
got promoted, my boyfriend left the relationship. We met on
an online dating site for professionals, and we were compatible
on so many levels. He is an administrator at his
(00:48):
job and I was a team leader. When we started dating.
I wanted love and he provided that. But he also
added a lot of competition to our relationship. When I
get dressed in the morning to head out to work,
he'd say I looked powerful instead of beautiful, and he
would tell me to boss up if I complained about
stress at work. He treated me like he was my
(01:09):
mentor and I was beneath them professionally, but I actually
made more money than him. Then I got a promotion
and a company car, and he overheard me telling my
mom what I'd be making annually. He insinuated that I
was too close to my boss and that's why I
got a promotion. We argued for days, and then he
(01:30):
moved out. Since we broke up, I've had a few dates,
but I haven't found a man that matches me intellectually
or financially. One guy told me that my success is
very intimidating. I wish men could see my sweet and
nurturing side, but as soon as I tell them what
I do for a living, they decide that I don't
have time for a relationship. I have thought about telling
(01:54):
guys that I have an entry level job, just to
see if they would ask me out again. There are
so many sides of me, and I would hate to
have to diminish all that I am to satisfy a man.
My ex married and art teacher go figure. So are
women expected to bet our eyelashes and act needy to
(02:14):
get a husband. That's true for insecure, controlling men. If
you want that for your husband. They do try to
compete with you and knock you down a few pegs,
but you shouldn't have to dim your light or make
yourself smaller for any man. A real man would want
you to be all that you can be and would
support you every step of the way. He would celebrate you.
(02:38):
Relationships are supposed to be partnerships that lead to marriage
or whatever, and unfortunately a lot of women do dumb
themselves down to get a man. My advice to you
is simply to be yourself. Don't change who you are,
shine brightly, wait for the right man to come along
and to accept you for who you are, a strong,
(02:58):
confident woman. I mean the people let your job see it.
Why can't he? Why can't your ex see it? Steve?
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Real men are not intimidated by women, period.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Uh huh.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Real men are not intimidated by women.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Period.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Now, if you're dating an underdeveloped man, that was your pick.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
You picked him. So listen.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
I understand the narrative that women have created. And this
is more or less about an open discussion between me
and the ladies on.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
The show, because this letter is.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
How many times have we heard this that women live
under the the guys, or the illusion or delusion that
men are intimidated by your success.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Now I offer this to you.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Sometimes men are not intimidated, but ashamed. Sometimes men are
not where they want to be and are a bit
embarrassed by it when they find out that you are,
(04:12):
and because it becomes a bit of shame and embarrassment.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
But there are so many women.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
That have taken this and turned it into I intimidate them.
And I guess that was a fair thing for you
all to say, because.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
It sounds empowering.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
But I want to adjust offer you an alternative line
of thinking. And if you had this alternative line of thinking,
it could help you cope with it. Now, Steve, why
women always got the dumb it down.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
And figured this out?
Speaker 3 (04:50):
You do want to wrote the letter in say you
want somebody. I ain't never wrote a letter in and
said I wanted nobody. So now if you he want somebody,
there's a game to this.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
There's some gamesmanship.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
It's gamesmanship that men have to play to get you,
and you know it. And it's things that you require
and you know it. So when something gets required of you,
some type of gamesmanship, you ain't got to get mad
at Uncle Steve because he telling you the game. I'm
just trying to help you with the game.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Now.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
I could use this letter, which I think i'll do,
but I wanted to say that first so we could
get on the same page. I really want women to
understand this. Y'all met online for professionals, and we were
compatible on so many levels. He's an administrator, I was
a team leader.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
I wanted love and all this here.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
When I got dressed in the morning and had to work,
he'd say I look powerful instead of beautiful. He would
tell me the boss up if I complained about stress.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
At the work.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
He treated me like my mentor, and I was beneath
him professionally. You the one went on this dating site
for professionals.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
That's where you went.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
You looked for people with similar mind sex. You want
a professional man, but what you oftentimes forget is a
lot of men bringing their jobs home. So that guy
that's a professional at work, he tried. He acts like
(06:32):
he's a professional at the house too. Boss up, you
look powerful today.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Goodbye.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
All right, we'll have part two of your response coming up.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Steve.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
At twenty three minutes after the hour, Today's Strawberry letter
subject my success is intimidating. We'll get back into it
right after this. All right, come on, Steve, let's recap
today's strawberry letter. The subject is my success is intimidating.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Okay, I've told you the way that I want you
all sometimes to consider this, and I appreciate it. I
understand why you say it's intimidating, because intimidating is a
more empowering term.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
I give it to you.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
And you've earned what you've earned, and you deserve to
be where you are, and congratulations. But a real man
is not intimidated by your success. Now, some men are
ashamed of where they are.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
So there's a bit of shame.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
When they meet a woman who has it together and
a bit of what do you call it, disappointment in themselves.
But if you want to call it intimidation for the
sake of the letter, Okay, so you're intimidating, I'm just
offering you a way. So now, but I want to
show you something in this letter that I just noticed. So,
(07:47):
you were in a four year relationship then, and when
you got promoted, your boyfriend left the relationship. Now you
met on an online dating site for professionals.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Right here.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
You went seeking this type of man, Well, you got it.
We would compare on so many levels. He's an administrator
at his job. I was a team leader. When we
started dating, I wanted love and he provided that. But
he also added a lot of competition to our relationship. Okay,
you're in the professional zone. Now, that's what y'all do
in corporate America. When I got dressed in the morning
(08:22):
to head out the work, he said I look powerful
instead of I look beautiful. He would tell me to
boss up if I complained about stress at work. See,
you meet these professional men, so you think, and they
bring their job home because he thinks that's what you like.
And now that's what he trying to be. Now here,
go to park. Right here. He treated me like he
(08:42):
was my mentor and I was beneath him professionally. Whoa
wait a minute, now hold up. Now, you either want
a man in charge. You want a man that was
Sholey you can crown. You want a man that's a
I don't know what you want because when he acts
like he your mean it minutor mentor. And then you
(09:04):
say I was beneath him professionally, But I actually made
more money than him. Okay, okay, see, you got to
make up your mind now. Oh, because you make more
money than him, he can't tell you nothing, He can't
act like he mint and you. He do know the
(09:26):
male side of things that he can offer to you
and that you may not have from female perspective.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Okay, but I actually mail more money in him.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Then I got a promotion and a company car, and
he overheard me telling my mom what I'd be making annually.
He insinuated that I was too close to my boss
and that's why I got a promotion. Oh, now he
gonna make you think you slapt your way to the tongue.
Understand your anger. Like I said, sister, you got your education,
you did the credentials, you put your time in. You
(09:58):
deserve to be who you're gonna be. We arguing for days,
and then he moved out. He couldn't take it no
more because I think he got ashamed of where you
were getting too. And he wasn't because now he mentoring
you getting promotions, company cars, making most salary, all this help. Now,
(10:20):
since we broke up, you'd have had a few dates
and I ain't found a man that matches me.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Intellectually or financially.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
One guy told me that my success was very intimidating.
I told you, real men, not intimidating. That this little
boy you'd have met with all these little hang ups
in his own little life. That's what he gonna tell you.
I wish me and could see my sweet and nurturing inside.
But as soon as I tell him what I do
for a living, they decided that I don't have time
for a relationship. I've thought about telling guys that have
(10:48):
an entry level job, just to see if they would
ask me how to can I ain't go ahead try that.
There are so many sides of me. I would hate
to have to diminish all that I am to say
that as five men, So let me ask you a question.
When you say you don't want to diminish all that
(11:11):
I am just to satisfy man. So are you leading
with all this in the conversation? Have you made this
a level of importance to you because you don't want
you You can't find a man that intellectually matches you
or financially that seems to be a package deal with you.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
So now.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Are you looking for a good man or are you
looking for a certain.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Type of man.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
And it's okay, you got every right to want what
you want, but in here can be part of the
problem because if you're not just looking for a good man,
if you're looking for a good man with a certain
type of job making a certain amount of money, then
get in line, because everybody looking for him. So I'm
(12:05):
not gonna be able to help you because you've created
all of the stereotypes to keep you right where you.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Need to be. You're intimidating to men. You make more
money than him. How he met her?
Speaker 3 (12:16):
In me? Okay, I don't know what to tell you.
My ex married an art teacher. Go figure, Well, yeah,
yeah he got he married an art teacher.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Go figure, what's see you? You? You you throwing me
a little bit? What's the matter with the art teacher?
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Oh she ain't a professional, she ain't a team leader,
or she don't make the money you may?
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Oh, all right, So now you ain't happy? What men
make all other women? You?
Speaker 1 (12:50):
And today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey f them on
Instagram and.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
So women expected to better our lives and that needed
for a husband.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
I like our Oh stop that.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the Free art
Radio app Free Never Sounded So good.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
You can download it today.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Now coming up with forty six minutes after the hour,
we got Junior and Sports Talk.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Right after this.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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