Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Time now for the Strawberry Letter for today. If you
need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM dot
com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading
your letter alive on the air.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Just like we're gonna read this one right here, right now.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Hold on tight. We got it for you. Here it
is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Did you hear me talk?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (00:30):
I heard the fact I get to do my intro.
Is you here? Because when he not you? I mean
when when you not you, you don't want me saying nothing?
You don't like me?
Speaker 4 (00:42):
You mean you mean you mean don't want you saying nothing?
Like now when she could be reading a letter like
you don't like me? Listen you talk about it all right.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Subject we have a big problem sys. Dear Stephen Shirley,
I've been divorced for four years and my seven year
old child is caught up in a dysfunctional mess with
me and my ex husband. After my divorce, I found
out that my older sister was having an affair with
my husband. Throughout the divorce, she was my rock and
(01:14):
I turned to her for advice. Since she's been divorced
three times. All of the signs were there that they
could have been messing around, but I was going through hell,
so I didn't notice.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
My sister had started calling me.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
At work a lot, and I thought it was to
check on me, but I found out later that she
was making sure I was at work so she could
be alone with my husband in our bed. When it
all came out, I felt so stupid. It seemed as
if my husband was relieved to give me the details.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Well, fast forward to present day.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
My sister lives with my ex husband and they are
planning to get married.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
This is torn up my entire family.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
My son knows that his mommy and his auntie don't
get along, but he does not know why. He constantly
asks me why his auntie lives with his daddy instead
of me and him living with his daddy. All I
told him is that his auntie hurt his mommy really bad.
I have never said anything negative about his daddy to him.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
He's too young to understand.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
I have told my ex that our son does not
need to stay with him right now because it's confusing
to him. My ex is so very nasty towards me
and still has no remorse for what he's done, so
he insists that he gets weekend visitations. For four years,
I've been bitter and angry and want to hurt both
of them. Someone mentioned counseling to me, but I need
(02:44):
a little more than that. I need peace in my
life and in my son's life. How can we move
on from this and be happy? Wow, you're a really
good person to not have, you know, done something physical
and violent to both both of them. I must tell
you some sort, you know, even if that's at a
low level, some sort, I mean, I really have to
(03:07):
commend you for that. I'm a person, I'm a woman
that has two brothers. I always wanted sisters because I always,
you know, just wanted that closeness. She could be my bff,
we could bond all of that. But clearly this is
not the case in your situation with you and your sister.
I mean, she's ratchet and trifling, she really is. I mean,
(03:28):
calling your job to see if you were at work
so she could be with your husband and your bed.
Now she's living with him, you divorced because he was cheating.
This is just awful, I mean, and I can imagine
how this has torn your family apart, and he doesn't
seem to carry your ex husband. What effect this has
on your seven year old son. That's really where your
(03:49):
focus should be.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
How is he going to come out of all of this?
Speaker 1 (03:53):
So to you, I got to tell you you got
to be strong right now for the both of you,
because this kid is confused. Okay, so daddy's not living
with us, mommy, but he is still in the family
because he's living with Auntie. Now can you imagine how
confusing that is for a child? And then your ex
(04:14):
husband wants visitation on the weekend, so he's gonna be
over there still with his daddy, your sister who now
might be his stepmom slash Auntie. I mean, the confusion
and craziness of it, of all of this. But you know,
he's gonna find out she's been divorced three times. He's
gonna find out why in just a few short minutes.
(04:37):
He will be I'm sure ex husband number four when
this is all over with. Because she is trifling, she
is ratchet. You're older sister. I mean, of all the
men in the world, she goes after your man, your husband,
I mean, and right in your face. Yeah, but how
do you get through it. This is a tough one
(04:59):
right here, I'm gonna have to tell you if you can, yes,
I want you to go to some counseling for sure,
for sure for you and your son.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
And this is hard.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
You're gonna have to try to find it in your
heart to forgive them in this situation, because that's one
of the cleanest ways you can move on with your life.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
I mean, that's hard. If you can.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
You know.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
I didn't say forget, but you're gonna have to try
and forgive them if you can.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
That's what I have for you, Steve.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
All Right, before I read through this letter, I want
to make this statement right here that nothing I'm about
to say is what I really want to say.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Nothing. Nothing.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
You want to cuss, don't you.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Well, it's not so much to cuss, but you do. Though.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
What I want to do to the both them I
can't say on the radio or recommend.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
So let me take this approach to this.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
This one has been divorced and she's got a seven
year old that caught up in this dysfunctional mess her
ex husband.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
After your divorce.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
After the divorce, now this is after divorce, you find
out that my oldest sister was having an affair with
my husband. Okay, So now you found this out after divorce.
This is your saving grace in this whole thing that
you found out after you got the divorce. God spared
(06:31):
you knowing this during for a particular reason, and you
turn to her for advice because she's been divorced three
times and she did something to make you think she
was Okay, when I come back, I'm gonna tell you
the grace in all of this that you have. There
is an upside.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Okay, Steve, hang on, we'll have part two of your
response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour
right after this, you're listening Steve.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Hardy Morning Show.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
All right, Steve, come on, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
We have a problem.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
Since this woman been divorced four years, got the seven
year old child who's in this dysfunctional mess, her ex husband.
She found out after the divorce, that found out that
her oldest sister was having an affair with the husband
that you got the divorce from. Now, there's a reason
why you didn't know this during because that would have
(07:28):
been gut wrenching. I'm pretty sure it is now, But
at least you got the divorce. Now, during the divorce,
she was your rock, and you turn to her for advice,
you know, because she been divorced three times. I don't
know what advice you get from somebody that's been divorced
three times, except especially when you're going through a divorce,
(07:52):
except just how to get through divorcing. That's the best advice,
Especially when you find out that all the signs that
were there that they had been messing around, but you
didn't notice.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Your sister was calling you at work.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
You thought it was a check on you, but you
found out she was making sure you was at work
so she could be along with my husband in our bed. Okay,
now that's trifling. Let me tell you what's wrong here.
You have discovered after the marriage that two of the
most despicable, trifling people were in your life. You had
(08:29):
a bad husband, you got a bad sister, and it's
led to a bad situation. These two people right here
are the worst of the worst. The blessing is you
got a chance to get away from one of them. Now,
the problem with siblings is you don't get to pick them.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
You born with them.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
Because your sisters don't mean you have to be friends.
You and your sister are not friends. Now, Shirley said,
a good thing. Sureley said, you have to forgive. I
don't know how you forgive this right here, but you
do have to move on from it now. When it
all came out, you say you felt stupid, and then
(09:13):
it seemed as if my husband was relieved to give
you the details.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Well, number one, he had been living a lie.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
So giving you the details also was to make you
feel a couple of things. Number one like something was
your fault, and number two, it was your sister's fault.
See dudes that open up about stuff like this, it's
to say to him, some of this, if I hadn't
been around in this situation with you and your family,
(09:43):
it were half of it is your fault and the
rest of us your sister fault. Now fast forward to
present day. Your sister lived with your ex husband and
they planning on getting married. How you think that's gonna work?
As Shureley pointed out, she'd been divorced three times and
she then slept with her sister. It's just husband. What
type of blessing you think fit to be on this mess?
Speaker 3 (10:04):
Right here? Thank god, you out of it.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
See, oftentimes when God pulls us through stuff, we mess
up by dabbling back into stuff. Well, now your son
is another problem. He knows that his mommy and his
auntie don't get along. Well, that's cool, you can explain that.
Quit taking him over there. He constantly asked me why
has auntie lived with his daddy though? And that's a
(10:28):
little bit of trouble. And if he's seven, he going
to school, somebody else gonna ask to instead of you
want to know, instead of why you and him don't
live with your daddy. I told him that his auntie
hurt his mommy really bad. I've never said anything negative
about his daddy to him. He's too young to understand.
I've told my ex that our son does not need
to stay with him right now because it's confusing to him,
(10:50):
which is a true statement. But now he has no
relationship with his father, which is probably worse. So I
don't know that since this is causing some confusion in
him as to why his daddy is staying with his
auntie and not staying with him and his mama, that
confusion is going to exist whether he sees his dad
(11:13):
or not. With him not seeing his father, he needs that.
He may not be a good husband, he could be
a good father, though my ex is so very nasty
towards me and still has no remorse for what he's done.
Or he's nasty towards you because that's a defense mechanism.
He got to be nasty towards you because you have
(11:36):
every right to be nasty towards him.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
But kindness kills baby.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
Or if you were to just be kind to him
and his ex wife, him and your sister, it would
kill him. Now, it's going to take a lot for you,
and I'm not sure you the person that has that,
because for years I've been bitter and angry and I
want to hurt both of them.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
See.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
Somebody told you that you should go to counseling, and
you really should, because you need to talk over this
with someone to discuss your feelings. But I need a
little more than that. Well, the only thing more than
that is God. See, And the one thing I'm gonna
tell you, some old people say sometimes you got to
let go and let God.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
You gotta take.
Speaker 4 (12:14):
This situation that you're going through that's bigger than anything
any of us have.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
For you, and you got to turn it over to God.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
I ain't joking that you really got to turn this
one over to God because you need peace in your life.
And I know no better way to get peace in
your life through a relationship with God. I don't know
a better way. It's my peace in my life and
in your son's life. How can we move on from
this and be happy? You move on to it because
(12:42):
He got you out of it. Stop dabbling in it.
You got to play the game now.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Okay, this is.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
Your daddy boom and separate yourself. You gotta get to
that point that you're gonna lose your mind. You need
counseling and you need prayer.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter You Harvey upm
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ninety two point three
Time now for the Strawberry Letter for today. If you
need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM dot
com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading
your letter alive on the air.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Just like we're gonna read this one right here, right now.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Hold on tight. We got it for you. Here it
is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Did you hear me talk?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (00:30):
I heard the fact I get to do my intro.
Is you here? Because when he not you? I mean
when when you not you, you don't want me saying nothing?
You don't like me?
Speaker 4 (00:42):
You mean you mean you mean don't want you saying nothing?
Like now when she could be reading a letter like
you don't like me? Listen you talk about it all right.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Subject we have a big problem sys. Dear Stephen Shirley,
I've been divorced for four years and my seven year
old child is caught up in a dysfunctional mess with
me and my ex husband. After my divorce, I found
out that my older sister was having an affair with
my husband. Throughout the divorce, she was my rock and
(01:14):
I turned to her for advice. Since she's been divorced
three times. All of the signs were there that they
could have been messing around, but I was going through hell,
so I didn't notice.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
My sister had started calling me.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
At work a lot, and I thought it was to
check on me, but I found out later that she
was making sure I was at work so she could
be alone with my husband in our bed. When it
all came out, I felt so stupid. It seemed as
if my husband was relieved to give me the details.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Well, fast forward to present day.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
My sister lives with my ex husband and they are
planning to get married.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
This is torn up my entire family.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
My son knows that his mommy and his auntie don't
get along, but he does not know why. He constantly
asks me why his auntie lives with his daddy instead
of me and him living with his daddy. All I
told him is that his auntie hurt his mommy really bad.
I have never said anything negative about his daddy to him.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
He's too young to understand.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
I have told my ex that our son does not
need to stay with him right now because it's confusing
to him. My ex is so very nasty towards me
and still has no remorse for what he's done, so
he insists that he gets weekend visitations. For four years,
I've been bitter and angry and want to hurt both
of them. Someone mentioned counseling to me, but I need
(02:44):
a little more than that. I need peace in my
life and in my son's life. How can we move
on from this and be happy? Wow, you're a really
good person to not have, you know, done something physical
and violent to both both of them. I must tell
you some sort, you know, even if that's at a
low level, some sort, I mean, I really have to
(03:07):
commend you for that. I'm a person, I'm a woman
that has two brothers. I always wanted sisters because I always,
you know, just wanted that closeness. She could be my bff,
we could bond all of that. But clearly this is
not the case in your situation with you and your sister.
I mean, she's ratchet and trifling, she really is. I mean,
(03:28):
calling your job to see if you were at work
so she could be with your husband and your bed.
Now she's living with him, you divorced because he was cheating.
This is just awful, I mean, and I can imagine
how this has torn your family apart, and he doesn't
seem to carry your ex husband. What effect this has
on your seven year old son. That's really where your
(03:49):
focus should be.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
How is he going to come out of all of this?
Speaker 1 (03:53):
So to you, I got to tell you you got
to be strong right now for the both of you,
because this kid is confused. Okay, so daddy's not living
with us, mommy, but he is still in the family
because he's living with Auntie. Now can you imagine how
confusing that is for a child? And then your ex
(04:14):
husband wants visitation on the weekend, so he's gonna be
over there still with his daddy, your sister who now
might be his stepmom slash Auntie. I mean, the confusion
and craziness of it, of all of this. But you know,
he's gonna find out she's been divorced three times. He's
gonna find out why in just a few short minutes.
(04:37):
He will be I'm sure ex husband number four when
this is all over with. Because she is trifling, she
is ratchet. You're older sister. I mean, of all the
men in the world, she goes after your man, your husband,
I mean, and right in your face. Yeah, but how
do you get through it. This is a tough one
(04:59):
right here, I'm gonna have to tell you if you can, yes,
I want you to go to some counseling for sure,
for sure for you and your son.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
And this is hard.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
You're gonna have to try to find it in your
heart to forgive them in this situation, because that's one
of the cleanest ways you can move on with your life.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
I mean, that's hard. If you can.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
You know.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
I didn't say forget, but you're gonna have to try
and forgive them if you can.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
That's what I have for you, Steve.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
All Right, before I read through this letter, I want
to make this statement right here that nothing I'm about
to say is what I really want to say.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Nothing. Nothing.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
You want to cuss, don't you.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Well, it's not so much to cuss, but you do. Though.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
What I want to do to the both them I
can't say on the radio or recommend.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
So let me take this approach to this.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
This one has been divorced and she's got a seven
year old that caught up in this dysfunctional mess her
ex husband.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
After your divorce.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
After the divorce, now this is after divorce, you find
out that my oldest sister was having an affair with
my husband. Okay, So now you found this out after divorce.
This is your saving grace in this whole thing that
you found out after you got the divorce. God spared
(06:31):
you knowing this during for a particular reason, and you
turn to her for advice because she's been divorced three
times and she did something to make you think she
was Okay, when I come back, I'm gonna tell you
the grace in all of this that you have. There
is an upside.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Okay, Steve, hang on, we'll have part two of your
response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour
right after this, you're listening Steve.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Hardy Morning Show.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
All right, Steve, come on, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
We have a problem.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
Since this woman been divorced four years, got the seven
year old child who's in this dysfunctional mess, her ex husband.
She found out after the divorce, that found out that
her oldest sister was having an affair with the husband
that you got the divorce from. Now, there's a reason
why you didn't know this during because that would have
(07:28):
been gut wrenching. I'm pretty sure it is now, But
at least you got the divorce. Now, during the divorce,
she was your rock, and you turn to her for advice,
you know, because she been divorced three times. I don't
know what advice you get from somebody that's been divorced
three times, except especially when you're going through a divorce,
(07:52):
except just how to get through divorcing. That's the best advice,
Especially when you find out that all the signs that
were there that they had been messing around, but you
didn't notice.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Your sister was calling you at work.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
You thought it was a check on you, but you
found out she was making sure you was at work
so she could be along with my husband in our bed. Okay,
now that's trifling. Let me tell you what's wrong here.
You have discovered after the marriage that two of the
most despicable, trifling people were in your life. You had
(08:29):
a bad husband, you got a bad sister, and it's
led to a bad situation. These two people right here
are the worst of the worst. The blessing is you
got a chance to get away from one of them. Now,
the problem with siblings is you don't get to pick them.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
You born with them.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
Because your sisters don't mean you have to be friends.
You and your sister are not friends. Now, Shirley said,
a good thing. Sureley said, you have to forgive. I
don't know how you forgive this right here, but you
do have to move on from it now. When it
all came out, you say you felt stupid, and then
(09:13):
it seemed as if my husband was relieved to give
you the details.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Well, number one, he had been living a lie.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
So giving you the details also was to make you
feel a couple of things. Number one like something was
your fault, and number two, it was your sister's fault.
See dudes that open up about stuff like this, it's
to say to him, some of this, if I hadn't
been around in this situation with you and your family,
(09:43):
it were half of it is your fault and the
rest of us your sister fault. Now fast forward to
present day. Your sister lived with your ex husband and
they planning on getting married. How you think that's gonna work?
As Shureley pointed out, she'd been divorced three times and
she then slept with her sister. It's just husband. What
type of blessing you think fit to be on this mess?
Speaker 3 (10:04):
Right here? Thank god, you out of it.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
See, oftentimes when God pulls us through stuff, we mess
up by dabbling back into stuff. Well, now your son
is another problem. He knows that his mommy and his
auntie don't get along. Well, that's cool, you can explain that.
Quit taking him over there. He constantly asked me why
has auntie lived with his daddy though? And that's a
(10:28):
little bit of trouble. And if he's seven, he going
to school, somebody else gonna ask to instead of you
want to know, instead of why you and him don't
live with your daddy. I told him that his auntie
hurt his mommy really bad. I've never said anything negative
about his daddy to him. He's too young to understand.
I've told my ex that our son does not need
to stay with him right now because it's confusing to him,
(10:50):
which is a true statement. But now he has no
relationship with his father, which is probably worse. So I
don't know that since this is causing some confusion in
him as to why his daddy is staying with his
auntie and not staying with him and his mama, that
confusion is going to exist whether he sees his dad
(11:13):
or not. With him not seeing his father, he needs that.
He may not be a good husband, he could be
a good father, though my ex is so very nasty
towards me and still has no remorse for what he's done.
Or he's nasty towards you because that's a defense mechanism.
He got to be nasty towards you because you have
(11:36):
every right to be nasty towards him.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
But kindness kills baby.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
Or if you were to just be kind to him
and his ex wife, him and your sister, it would
kill him. Now, it's going to take a lot for you,
and I'm not sure you the person that has that,
because for years I've been bitter and angry and I
want to hurt both of them.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
See.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
Somebody told you that you should go to counseling, and
you really should, because you need to talk over this
with someone to discuss your feelings. But I need a
little more than that. Well, the only thing more than
that is God. See, And the one thing I'm gonna
tell you, some old people say sometimes you got to
let go and let God.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
You gotta take.
Speaker 4 (12:14):
This situation that you're going through that's bigger than anything
any of us have.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
For you, and you got to turn it over to God.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
I ain't joking that you really got to turn this
one over to God because you need peace in your life.
And I know no better way to get peace in
your life through a relationship with God. I don't know
a better way. It's my peace in my life and
in your son's life. How can we move on from
this and be happy? You move on to it because
(12:42):
He got you out of it. Stop dabbling in it.
You got to play the game now.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Okay, this is.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
Your daddy boom and separate yourself. You gotta get to
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Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter You Harvey upm
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