Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice and relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARBFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
It could be yours.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it. Point
you hear it is Strawberry.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Let up, Thank you, nephew. Subject.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
When I look, I find dear Stephen Shirley. I've been
divorced for five years and I'm starting to date again.
I've been eager to find a new guy for years,
but as luck would have it, I've been picking men
that are just like my cheating ex husband. The last
guy I met seemed like he was going to be
a good prospect. But we've only been together for four
(00:52):
months and he's already shown me that one woman isn't
enough for him. He started out sending me flowers and
taking me on nice dates. We had sex after our
fourth date, and he got up and went home right
after we were intimate. He said that he really needed
to use his own restroom at his own home. That
almost caused an argument as he left my house in
(01:13):
the middle of the night. He used that same excuse
whenever he was supposed to spend the night at my house.
We'd always eat dinner at my house or go out
to eat and have.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Sex later on. Right after sex, he was out.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
The door and headed home to use a bathroom and
take a shower. On Friday night, When he did that,
I decided to ride by his house after he had
been home a while. He was there sitting on his
front steps with a woman. I slowed up and blew
the horn. He jumped up and came over to my car,
asking why I was at his house unannounced. I told
(01:47):
him I was suspicious that he was dating other people.
He told me that we aren't exclusive and I'm too
messy to ever be his girl. He said he wasn't
cheating because I was never his girl. I'm grateful that
I got in my car and by his house. When
I look, I find is it best to look and
be aware or act like you don't know what a
man is up to? Why is it a lose lose
(02:10):
situation for women trying to date?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Wow? I guess because dating.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Has changed so much over the years, just like everything
else in the world. I mean, there's no courting or
like getting to know you period anymore. People nowadays get
love bombed in the first couple of weeks, where the
men wine and dine you, they call you every day,
they spend quality time with you, to send you.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Flowers like this guy did all of that.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Then after that two week time frame, after you've slept
with him or whatever. It's a short time time frame,
two weeks or whatever. It's usually just over the phone call,
stop the attentative tenif ness stops and he starts ghosting
you or whatever. I guess that you've been divorced for
five years and you want to be in a relationship.
You said you were eager to be in a relationship,
(02:59):
but you don't have to take your time to see
if these guys are even worth it. What you don't
want is to come off as desperate. I mean, men
can smell that kind of stuff a mile away and
they go in.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
For the kill. I say, you're not ready to date.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
You got to find out who you are, get your
confidence up.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
I think you need to decide what you.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Want, what kind of man you want, then you know
you won't keep ending up in these same type situations
with these men.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Work on your confidence, work on self love.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Steve uh Well said Shirley, I agree with what you're saying.
Here's the part for me. With women. You you get
with these men that you really don't know. You get
with these men that you have no clarification of what.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
You have with this man.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
You get with these men and you assume, and when
you meet a man, you forget that. When you meet
this man, what do you think he's been doing up
until the day y'all met once? You thought stop meeting
men thinking they free and clear. Ain't nobody free and clear.
Everybody you meet in this world is connected to somebody
(04:11):
somewhere some way. There are no free and clear people
who you've been divorced five years. You meet a man
what you thought he was doing when you met him
sitting at the house. Everybody you meet comes with a past.
Your job is to uncover as much of the past
as you can to determine if you can fit into
(04:36):
a future with them.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
That is the real deal.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
It ain't no lose lose for a woman out here
to Dayton, stop jumping to conclusions, stop a lot. I
wrote a book in two thousand and nine. I'm thinking
about writing another book because dating has changed. I'm thinking
about really really pulling the covers back on this one too.
But wrote a long time ago a ninety day rule
(05:02):
that it still applies, But y'all don't because y'all Instagram
now and everything is instant.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
So here we go.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
You've been met, divorced five years, and starting to date again.
Shirley said it best. I've been eager to find a
new guy for years, but as luck would have it,
I keep picking me in that are just like my
cheat next husband.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Really, well, let's find out about this guy.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
Last guy met seemed like he was gonna be a
good prospect. But we've only been together four months and
he's already showed.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Me that one woman ain't enough for him.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Okay, he started out sending me flowers and taking me
on nice dates. We had sex after our fourth date. Okay,
when was the fourth date? How much time was it
two weeks? Was it ten days? Was it a month?
And why, ladies, do you not understand when you first
(06:00):
meet a man that you are meeting his representative? You're
not meeting who he really is. When you first meet him,
you're meeting his representative. Then after a while you get
to know who. We had sex. After our fourth date,
he got up and went home. Right after we were intimate.
He said he really needed to use his own restroom
(06:22):
at his own house.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Now that right there, I can understand.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
I respect that in that right there, you didn't give
him enough credit for that.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
It's some people.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
That have got to get up and go to the bathroom,
hang and that when we come back, got.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
To get out this house.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
You can't know this of Steve's response.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
At twenty three minutes after the hour, Today's Strawberry Letter
subject is when I look, I find. We'll get back
into it right after this.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
You're listening to Steve Hardy Morning Show.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
All right, come on, Steve th recap today's Strawberry letter.
The subject is when I look, I find.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
Okay, ladies, I've talked to you about this letter, and
you've got to be smarter when you're dating. Dating has
changed over the years, but you still have to be smart.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
And the ninety day.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
Rule that I had before it should still apply. But
it don't cause y'all done got around that y'all have
let me in talk you into it.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Y'all Instagram people, So y'all don't do that no more.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Stop assuming of men, Stop dating men you don't know
what you're and stop expecting them to treat you the
way you treat them. Stop and when you meet a man,
first thing you must know is he comes with.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
A past and a history.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
Secondly, know this nobody you meet is unconnected. Everybody is
connected to somebody ain't nowhere in the world. You done
met this man, found him to be attractive, and you
the only one. Stop thinking you've met a man that
ain't got nobody?
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Why would he do that?
Speaker 4 (08:04):
What man you know that can have sex, can perform sexually,
and is not.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Where he stayed? What country he live in? All right?
Speaker 4 (08:18):
So you'd have met this guy and you mad because
he just like your ex cheating husband. So you met
this guy after the fourth date, y'all had sex. I
don't know how long that was, but obviously you didn't
know him well enough, and after four months he didn't
show you The one woman ain't enough for him. He
started out sending you flowers, going on nice dates. That's
because you were meeting his representative. I tried to explain
(08:39):
that to you. We had sex after a fourth date
he got it went home right after we were intimate.
He said he really needed to use his own restroom
at his own home. Come on, now, you gotta get
his man credit for this. Right here, I've been there,
you must. I'm telling you the worst nights of my
(09:00):
life when I dated this creole girl and I my
stomach was tore up from eating creole food with her,
and I knew to go home, and her parents wasn't home,
and she said, come on in. I should have took
my home, But I went up in her house and
what I go up in that foe because my stomach
was cutting and it went on up in there, and
I used a bathroom at her mama's house.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
We never dated again after that. When a man tells
you that he.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
Got to go home to his own bathroom, respect that,
because if you make him go to the bathroom in there,
something fin to go home when he shut that door,
and he not gonna be able to open that door
for awhile.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
I'm just telling you.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
Anyway, that almost caused an argument. As he left my
house in the middle of the night. He used the
same excuse. Whenever we were supposed to spend the night
in my house, we'd always eat dinner at my house
and go out to eat and have sex later on.
Right after sex, he was out the door, headed home
to use the bathroom and take a shower or go.
(10:08):
I still ain't mad at that, because until you are
in that room, after he come out that bathroom, you really.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Don't know why he got to get home. So I
ain't mad at this.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
Right here on Friday night, when he did that, I
decided to ride by his house after he had been
home for a while. He was there sitting on the
front steps with a woman. I slowed up and blew
the horn. He ran out there and asked you why
he was at his house un announced. I told him
I was suspicious that he was dating other people. He
(10:41):
told me, we ain't exclusive, and I'm too messy to
ever be his girl. How did you think y'all was
exclusive because you met a man and had sex with him.
What made you think y'all was exclusive? Did you ask
(11:01):
were you exclusive? Or did you assume? Did he ever
tell you y'all were exclusive? Well, now he over sitting
on the steps with the girl. He said he wasn't
cheating because I was never his girl.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
But because you slept with him, you thought you was
his girl. No, you was another person he was having
sex with. That's who you were. That's not his fault.
That's you not getting clarity on what you have with
(11:43):
a man. Stop thinking because you done gave him some
sex that he is going to give you exclusivity. That
is not how it works. I am telling you that
right now. That's just not how it works. And you
got to stop expecting that. And it's sad. It's so sad. Now,
(12:07):
let me tell you something. You know why they sitting
outside on them steps because he didn't went in there
and used the bathroom, and they still can't go in
that house. That's why they was out on them steps.
I'll tell you that right now, sitting out on them steps,
cause I'm telling you ain't k't nobody he'd have went
(12:29):
home and used the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
Now that woman that came.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
By, they outside on the steps because they cannot go
in that house because he'd have been in there using
the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
So I rest my case.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
What I think He's still strong with that bathroom line,
but that is.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
The worst.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
They sitting on them steps. Can't nobody go in.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
That house today? Strawberry Letter on Instagram at face, thank you,
thank you Lord, Thank you Lord, and check us out
on the Strawberry Letter Podcast.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
He got a bath room problem.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
That's probably why he ain't got no girl. I'm gonna
tell you that why you're not.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Sports talk right after this, you're listening to the Steve
Harvey Morning Show
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice and relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARBFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
It could be yours.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it. Point
you hear it is Strawberry.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Let up, Thank you, nephew. Subject.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
When I look, I find dear Stephen Shirley. I've been
divorced for five years and I'm starting to date again.
I've been eager to find a new guy for years,
but as luck would have it, I've been picking men
that are just like my cheating ex husband. The last
guy I met seemed like he was going to be
a good prospect. But we've only been together for four
(00:52):
months and he's already shown me that one woman isn't
enough for him. He started out sending me flowers and
taking me on nice dates. We had sex after our
fourth date, and he got up and went home right
after we were intimate. He said that he really needed
to use his own restroom at his own home. That
almost caused an argument as he left my house in
(01:13):
the middle of the night. He used that same excuse
whenever he was supposed to spend the night at my house.
We'd always eat dinner at my house or go out
to eat and have.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Sex later on. Right after sex, he was out.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
The door and headed home to use a bathroom and
take a shower. On Friday night, When he did that,
I decided to ride by his house after he had
been home a while. He was there sitting on his
front steps with a woman. I slowed up and blew
the horn. He jumped up and came over to my car,
asking why I was at his house unannounced. I told
(01:47):
him I was suspicious that he was dating other people.
He told me that we aren't exclusive and I'm too
messy to ever be his girl. He said he wasn't
cheating because I was never his girl. I'm grateful that
I got in my car and by his house. When
I look, I find is it best to look and
be aware or act like you don't know what a
man is up to? Why is it a lose lose
(02:10):
situation for women trying to date?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Wow? I guess because dating.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Has changed so much over the years, just like everything
else in the world. I mean, there's no courting or
like getting to know you period anymore. People nowadays get
love bombed in the first couple of weeks, where the
men wine and dine you, they call you every day,
they spend quality time with you, to send you.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Flowers like this guy did all of that.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Then after that two week time frame, after you've slept
with him or whatever. It's a short time time frame,
two weeks or whatever. It's usually just over the phone call,
stop the attentative tenif ness stops and he starts ghosting
you or whatever. I guess that you've been divorced for
five years and you want to be in a relationship.
You said you were eager to be in a relationship,
(02:59):
but you don't have to take your time to see
if these guys are even worth it. What you don't
want is to come off as desperate. I mean, men
can smell that kind of stuff a mile away and
they go in.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
For the kill. I say, you're not ready to date.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
You got to find out who you are, get your
confidence up.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
I think you need to decide what you.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Want, what kind of man you want, then you know
you won't keep ending up in these same type situations
with these men.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Work on your confidence, work on self love.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Steve uh Well said Shirley, I agree with what you're saying.
Here's the part for me. With women. You you get
with these men that you really don't know. You get
with these men that you have no clarification of what.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
You have with this man.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
You get with these men and you assume, and when
you meet a man, you forget that. When you meet
this man, what do you think he's been doing up
until the day y'all met once? You thought stop meeting
men thinking they free and clear. Ain't nobody free and clear.
Everybody you meet in this world is connected to somebody
(04:11):
somewhere some way. There are no free and clear people
who you've been divorced five years. You meet a man
what you thought he was doing when you met him
sitting at the house. Everybody you meet comes with a past.
Your job is to uncover as much of the past
as you can to determine if you can fit into
(04:36):
a future with them.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
That is the real deal.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
It ain't no lose lose for a woman out here
to Dayton, stop jumping to conclusions, stop a lot. I
wrote a book in two thousand and nine. I'm thinking
about writing another book because dating has changed. I'm thinking
about really really pulling the covers back on this one too.
But wrote a long time ago a ninety day rule
(05:02):
that it still applies, But y'all don't because y'all Instagram
now and everything is instant.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
So here we go.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
You've been met, divorced five years, and starting to date again.
Shirley said it best. I've been eager to find a
new guy for years, but as luck would have it,
I keep picking me in that are just like my
cheat next husband.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Really, well, let's find out about this guy.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
Last guy met seemed like he was gonna be a
good prospect. But we've only been together four months and
he's already showed.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Me that one woman ain't enough for him.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Okay, he started out sending me flowers and taking me
on nice dates. We had sex after our fourth date. Okay,
when was the fourth date? How much time was it
two weeks? Was it ten days? Was it a month?
And why, ladies, do you not understand when you first
(06:00):
meet a man that you are meeting his representative? You're
not meeting who he really is. When you first meet him,
you're meeting his representative. Then after a while you get
to know who. We had sex. After our fourth date,
he got up and went home. Right after we were intimate.
He said he really needed to use his own restroom
(06:22):
at his own house.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Now that right there, I can understand.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
I respect that in that right there, you didn't give
him enough credit for that.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
It's some people.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
That have got to get up and go to the bathroom,
hang and that when we come back, got.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
To get out this house.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
You can't know this of Steve's response.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
At twenty three minutes after the hour, Today's Strawberry Letter
subject is when I look, I find. We'll get back
into it right after this.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
You're listening to Steve Hardy Morning Show.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
All right, come on, Steve th recap today's Strawberry letter.
The subject is when I look, I find.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
Okay, ladies, I've talked to you about this letter, and
you've got to be smarter when you're dating. Dating has
changed over the years, but you still have to be smart.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
And the ninety day.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
Rule that I had before it should still apply. But
it don't cause y'all done got around that y'all have
let me in talk you into it.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Y'all Instagram people, So y'all don't do that no more.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Stop assuming of men, Stop dating men you don't know
what you're and stop expecting them to treat you the
way you treat them. Stop and when you meet a man,
first thing you must know is he comes with.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
A past and a history.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
Secondly, know this nobody you meet is unconnected. Everybody is
connected to somebody ain't nowhere in the world. You done
met this man, found him to be attractive, and you
the only one. Stop thinking you've met a man that
ain't got nobody?
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Why would he do that?
Speaker 4 (08:04):
What man you know that can have sex, can perform sexually,
and is not.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Where he stayed? What country he live in? All right?
Speaker 4 (08:18):
So you'd have met this guy and you mad because
he just like your ex cheating husband. So you met
this guy after the fourth date, y'all had sex. I
don't know how long that was, but obviously you didn't
know him well enough, and after four months he didn't
show you The one woman ain't enough for him. He
started out sending you flowers, going on nice dates. That's
because you were meeting his representative. I tried to explain
(08:39):
that to you. We had sex after a fourth date
he got it went home right after we were intimate.
He said he really needed to use his own restroom
at his own home. Come on, now, you gotta get
his man credit for this. Right here, I've been there,
you must. I'm telling you the worst nights of my
(09:00):
life when I dated this creole girl and I my
stomach was tore up from eating creole food with her,
and I knew to go home, and her parents wasn't home,
and she said, come on in. I should have took
my home, But I went up in her house and
what I go up in that foe because my stomach
was cutting and it went on up in there, and
I used a bathroom at her mama's house.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
We never dated again after that. When a man tells
you that he.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
Got to go home to his own bathroom, respect that,
because if you make him go to the bathroom in there,
something fin to go home when he shut that door,
and he not gonna be able to open that door
for awhile.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
I'm just telling you.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
Anyway, that almost caused an argument. As he left my
house in the middle of the night. He used the
same excuse. Whenever we were supposed to spend the night
in my house, we'd always eat dinner at my house
and go out to eat and have sex later on.
Right after sex, he was out the door, headed home
to use the bathroom and take a shower or go.
(10:08):
I still ain't mad at that, because until you are
in that room, after he come out that bathroom, you really.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Don't know why he got to get home. So I
ain't mad at this.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
Right here on Friday night, when he did that, I
decided to ride by his house after he had been
home for a while. He was there sitting on the
front steps with a woman. I slowed up and blew
the horn. He ran out there and asked you why
he was at his house un announced. I told him
I was suspicious that he was dating other people. He
(10:41):
told me, we ain't exclusive, and I'm too messy to
ever be his girl. How did you think y'all was
exclusive because you met a man and had sex with him.
What made you think y'all was exclusive? Did you ask
(11:01):
were you exclusive? Or did you assume? Did he ever
tell you y'all were exclusive? Well, now he over sitting
on the steps with the girl. He said he wasn't
cheating because I was never his girl.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
But because you slept with him, you thought you was
his girl. No, you was another person he was having
sex with. That's who you were. That's not his fault.
That's you not getting clarity on what you have with
(11:43):
a man. Stop thinking because you done gave him some
sex that he is going to give you exclusivity. That
is not how it works. I am telling you that
right now. That's just not how it works. And you
got to stop expecting that. And it's sad. It's so sad. Now,
(12:07):
let me tell you something. You know why they sitting
outside on them steps because he didn't went in there
and used the bathroom, and they still can't go in
that house. That's why they was out on them steps.
I'll tell you that right now, sitting out on them steps,
cause I'm telling you ain't k't nobody he'd have went
(12:29):
home and used the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
Now that woman that came.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
By, they outside on the steps because they cannot go
in that house because he'd have been in there using
the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
So I rest my case.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
What I think He's still strong with that bathroom line,
but that is.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
The worst.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
They sitting on them steps. Can't nobody go in.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
That house today? Strawberry Letter on Instagram at face, thank you,
thank you Lord, Thank you Lord, and check us out
on the Strawberry Letter Podcast.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
He got a bath room problem.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
That's probably why he ain't got no girl. I'm gonna
tell you that why you're not.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Sports talk right after this, you're listening to the Steve
Harvey Morning Show
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.