Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry LETTA. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like I'm want to read
this one right here, right now. You never know it
(00:23):
could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
All right, let's buggle up and hold on tight. We
got it for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter subject.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
I want that old thing back, all right. Dear Stephen Shirley.
My wife and I have been married for twenty two years.
Before the past four years we've lived apart. We talked
about divorce, but we never did it. It's very weird,
but we fell into a parent a pattern of co
parenting and just never filed for divorce. Every holiday she
(00:52):
invites me over so our family can be together. Every Christmas,
I sleep in the guest room and wake up, cook breakfast,
and and we watch our kids open present. It's not
until recently that I'm seeing my wife in a different light.
We got married when we were twenty four, and I
was still immature and selfish. Now that I'm older. I
(01:14):
see my wife in a position of authority leading a
household without me, and it kills me inside. I want
so badly to just apologize and go back home, but
my pride gets in the way. I fear rejection too,
because the children told me she's dating.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
She's got her.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Hair cut short, and she's still got her twenty four
year old figure, and she dresses very nicely. I don't
want her to forget about me and move on, so
I made up reasons to see her without the children.
I asked her to come to my office to discuss
our oldest child's college tuition, and she came in, smelling
good and looking like a movie star. All eyes were
(01:57):
on her, and for a second I was to call
her my wife. She quickly reminded me that we are
estranged and I no longer have any privileges. The day after,
I went to our middle school's band competition and my
wife's new boyfriend was with her. I said, far away
from them, because this cut like a knife. Recently, I
(02:21):
got enough courage to tell her to call her to
see if I if she'd be interested in patching things up,
and she let me know she has moved on and
we need to file for divorce for real. This time
I cried, but she was cold as I I can't
lose her. What do I do now? Well, it looks
(02:43):
like you already lost her, and she so much as
told you that, And you don't say what causes separation.
Four years ago you just talked about there was talk
about divorce, but never filed. And for four years you
both have been just dealing with this situation for the
sake of a kid. So you say, until now, you
(03:05):
never mentioned, like I said, what causes separation? But I'm
thinking you cheated because you say you have something to
apologize for, but your pride won't let you. Now, all
of a sudden, your wife is looking like a movie star.
She's a boss, melon good, she has her twenty four
year old figure back, she's got her short haircut. You
also said you were selfish and immature when you were
(03:28):
married at twenty four, and that's another reason I think
you cheated. But now that you're older, you see your
wife in a different life. Well, I mean that's understandable
because people do change and people do grow, and your
wife is aging like fine wine. Apparently, it sounds like
you're stuck and can't move forward because you say you're
(03:50):
afraid of rejection and just too prideful to do what
you need to do. I think it's because the kids
told you your wife is dating. Okay, your wife is dating,
So now you're getting all these feelings about you don't
want to lose her. You feel like another man is
taking your place, so of course that makes you want
her more. You realize what you lost now.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
But unfortunately, your wife told you.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
She's moved on. She wants to file for divorce. Sounds
like you need to move on too. I mean, you
could give it another shot, no risk, no reward, but
sounds like she's made up her mind.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
And that's about the end of that. Steve, Well, do
came to the right place.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
The only thing about coming to me with the letter
like this is being a man. I know exactly what
he's really saying.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Now.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
What you typed was all cute, but bruh, that ain't really.
That ain't really what's happening. And we're just gonna have
to be honest with you. If you want Uncle Steve's help,
I don't know that I can because you've ignored something
for a while. You've been married twenty two years, but
(05:08):
the last four y'all been living apart. Y'all talked about divorce,
but you never did. But every holiday she invites you
over so the family can be together. And every Christmas
you sleep in the guest room and wake up, cook breakfast,
and watch your kids open presence. And then you say,
not until recently that I started seeing my wife in
a different light. We got married when we were twenty four,
(05:31):
So you've been married twenty two years. That means you're
forty six now and I'm still and you were twenty
four and I was still immature and selfish. Now that
I'm older, I see my wife in a position of authority,
leading a household without me, and it kills me inside.
(05:51):
Oh okay, so now you realize there's a lot of
men DoD families every day.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
I got you, dog.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
I want so badly to just apologize and go back home.
And here's the reason we have this whole letter. I
want to so badly to apologize and go back home,
but my pride gets in the way. The Bible says
pride cometh before fall. You will see the fall in
(06:26):
this letter, and you will understand it was caused by pride.
When we come back, I will show you what he
considers to be pride, and I'm going to tell you
that it's something else.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
All right, all right, Steve, hang on to that thought.
We'll have parst two of your response at twenty three
minutes after the hour Today's Strawberry letter, subject I want
that old thing back. We'll get back into it right
after this. You're listening, right, Come on, Steve, Let's recap
today's Strawberry letter, the subject I want that old thing back.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Well, yeah you do, dog, but you didn't appreciate it
when it was a new thing, and you didn't do
it right when it was your thing. Now it's becoming
old thing, and we have a situation. Now you want
it back, right, Married twenty two years past four. They
lived apart. They celebrate holidays together. She calls him over
to the house. He sleeps in the guest room. On Christmas,
(07:23):
they wake up and they watch the kids open up
the presents together, and then all of that right there,
And then he says, not until recently, I'm seeing my
wife in a different light. We got married when we
were twenty four. I was still immature and selfish. So
now I'm older, he's forty six now. By the way, folks,
because he's been married twenty two years. I got married
in twenty four. I see my wife leading a household
(07:46):
without me, and it kills me inside. Here's the reason
we have this letter. I want so badly to just
apologize and go back home, but my pride gets in
the way. I said, there's a scripture that said pride.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Cometh before a fall.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Now, the four years of not filing for divorce and
this pride you have, you want so badly to go
back and apologize, but you just your pride.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Get in a way.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Well, now the fall is occurring, sir, And exactly what
is pride? Everybody? What is this thing about men? Sometimes
that prohibits us from doing what's the right thing and
watching something occur, knowing what would fix it. But your
pride gets in the way. Well, let me tell you
(08:35):
what pride is. And then he says, I fear rejection too.
Now he's trying to be honest, but this pride is
a part of that. See, the reason he don't want
to be rejected is could it be because he does
the rejected and now he don't want the roles reversed.
(08:57):
You know, you do what you want to do, but
then when it's time for you to do what you
have to do.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Oh my god, you call that pride. Okay, bro, I
go with you.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
And then he says, I fear rejection too, because the
children told me she's been dating.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
She got a.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
New haircut short, and she still got her twenty four
year old figure, and she dresses very nicely. Okay, dog,
when she got the new haircut, you ain't see this coming.
Let me tell you some fellas. When you see your
woman in the gym, when you see your woman with
a new haircut, when you see your woman going on
(09:37):
about her business, you better sit up and take notice.
If she don't ask you how you like my hair,
if she don't never mention to you why she working out,
it ain't for you. Play, it ain't for you. I
(09:57):
want so badly to go back home. I don't want
to apologize because my pride gets in the way. So
now here's what happened. I don't want her to forget
about me and move on.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
So I made up reasons to see her without the children.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
So yeah, I said to come down to the offices
because your oldest child's children Calle tuition. She show up
haf cut shorts, smelling good, body banging like a twenty
four year old. Come in the office. Everybody notices her.
He proud to call her my wife. But then she
told you, ah, we are strange. You ain't got no privilege.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Stop telling you your wife.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
How did she say.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
We are strange? You ain't got no privilege. You stop
telling people I'm your wife. Now you looking stupid down
at your little office. See this that pride or dumb pride?
The finest woman in the world is your ex on
the arms of another man. See he blew at him.
And now you're watching it. But oh, we ain't got
there yet, But we do. Right after this, though, the
(10:58):
day after our day after, I went to our middle
child's band competition, and my wife's new boyfriend was with her.
I sat far away from them because this.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Cut like a knife. It's a song.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
I got enough courage to call her to see it.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Now here we go. Now he got courage.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Now see a minute ago it was pride, right, Pride
is ignorance, man, And so now you got enough courage
to call her to see if she'd be interested in
patching things up.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
And just like she did when she came up to
the office.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Let you know you don't have no more privileges and
stop calling you meet your wife. She told you she
had moved on, and we need to file for divorce
for real this time. Because the boyfriend was saying, well,
if y'all ain't gonna divorce, why don't y'all just get divorced?
Because I want you, I cried. She was cold as ice,
(12:01):
A little bit too late for the tears. Dogs will
hold up? Excuse me? Didn't you say your pride got it?
So what is your plug?
Speaker 2 (12:10):
What happened to all that pride?
Speaker 3 (12:12):
See what else that I can't lose her? Shirley said
that you already can't lose her. Who did you see
at the band competition? You think he ain't said nothing
about the haircut and the little banging body?
Speaker 2 (12:33):
What do I do now? Or dog? I think you've
done what you're gonna do. You waited four years, You
took too long.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
You thought she was just gonna sit over there hold
of fine self and wasn't nobody else gonna want on prog.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
You may be too late.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Homie, all right, and you let your pride get in
the way.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
We gotta go.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve HARBSM
on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry Letter
podcast on demand
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry LETTA. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like I'm want to read
this one right here, right now. You never know it
(00:23):
could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
All right, let's buggle up and hold on tight. We
got it for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter subject.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
I want that old thing back, all right. Dear Stephen Shirley.
My wife and I have been married for twenty two years.
Before the past four years we've lived apart. We talked
about divorce, but we never did it. It's very weird,
but we fell into a parent a pattern of co
parenting and just never filed for divorce. Every holiday she
(00:52):
invites me over so our family can be together. Every Christmas,
I sleep in the guest room and wake up, cook breakfast,
and and we watch our kids open present. It's not
until recently that I'm seeing my wife in a different light.
We got married when we were twenty four, and I
was still immature and selfish. Now that I'm older. I
(01:14):
see my wife in a position of authority leading a
household without me, and it kills me inside. I want
so badly to just apologize and go back home, but
my pride gets in the way. I fear rejection too,
because the children told me she's dating.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
She's got her.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Hair cut short, and she's still got her twenty four
year old figure, and she dresses very nicely. I don't
want her to forget about me and move on, so
I made up reasons to see her without the children.
I asked her to come to my office to discuss
our oldest child's college tuition, and she came in, smelling
good and looking like a movie star. All eyes were
(01:57):
on her, and for a second I was to call
her my wife. She quickly reminded me that we are
estranged and I no longer have any privileges. The day after,
I went to our middle school's band competition and my
wife's new boyfriend was with her. I said, far away
from them, because this cut like a knife. Recently, I
(02:21):
got enough courage to tell her to call her to
see if I if she'd be interested in patching things up,
and she let me know she has moved on and
we need to file for divorce for real. This time
I cried, but she was cold as I I can't
lose her. What do I do now? Well, it looks
(02:43):
like you already lost her, and she so much as
told you that, And you don't say what causes separation.
Four years ago you just talked about there was talk
about divorce, but never filed. And for four years you
both have been just dealing with this situation for the
sake of a kid. So you say, until now, you
(03:05):
never mentioned, like I said, what causes separation? But I'm
thinking you cheated because you say you have something to
apologize for, but your pride won't let you. Now, all
of a sudden, your wife is looking like a movie star.
She's a boss, melon good, she has her twenty four
year old figure back, she's got her short haircut. You
also said you were selfish and immature when you were
(03:28):
married at twenty four, and that's another reason I think
you cheated. But now that you're older, you see your
wife in a different life. Well, I mean that's understandable
because people do change and people do grow, and your
wife is aging like fine wine. Apparently, it sounds like
you're stuck and can't move forward because you say you're
(03:50):
afraid of rejection and just too prideful to do what
you need to do. I think it's because the kids
told you your wife is dating. Okay, your wife is dating,
So now you're getting all these feelings about you don't
want to lose her. You feel like another man is
taking your place, so of course that makes you want
her more. You realize what you lost now.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
But unfortunately, your wife told you.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
She's moved on. She wants to file for divorce. Sounds
like you need to move on too. I mean, you
could give it another shot, no risk, no reward, but
sounds like she's made up her mind.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
And that's about the end of that. Steve, Well, do
came to the right place.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
The only thing about coming to me with the letter
like this is being a man. I know exactly what
he's really saying.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Now.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
What you typed was all cute, but bruh, that ain't really.
That ain't really what's happening. And we're just gonna have
to be honest with you. If you want Uncle Steve's help,
I don't know that I can because you've ignored something
for a while. You've been married twenty two years, but
(05:08):
the last four y'all been living apart. Y'all talked about divorce,
but you never did. But every holiday she invites you
over so the family can be together. And every Christmas
you sleep in the guest room and wake up, cook breakfast,
and watch your kids open presence. And then you say,
not until recently that I started seeing my wife in
a different light. We got married when we were twenty four,
(05:31):
So you've been married twenty two years. That means you're
forty six now and I'm still and you were twenty
four and I was still immature and selfish. Now that
I'm older, I see my wife in a position of authority,
leading a household without me, and it kills me inside.
(05:51):
Oh okay, so now you realize there's a lot of
men DoD families every day.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
I got you, dog.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
I want so badly to just apologize and go back home.
And here's the reason we have this whole letter. I
want to so badly to apologize and go back home,
but my pride gets in the way. The Bible says
pride cometh before fall. You will see the fall in
(06:26):
this letter, and you will understand it was caused by pride.
When we come back, I will show you what he
considers to be pride, and I'm going to tell you
that it's something else.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
All right, all right, Steve, hang on to that thought.
We'll have parst two of your response at twenty three
minutes after the hour Today's Strawberry letter, subject I want
that old thing back. We'll get back into it right
after this. You're listening, right, Come on, Steve, Let's recap
today's Strawberry letter, the subject I want that old thing back.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Well, yeah you do, dog, but you didn't appreciate it
when it was a new thing, and you didn't do
it right when it was your thing. Now it's becoming
old thing, and we have a situation. Now you want
it back, right, Married twenty two years past four. They
lived apart. They celebrate holidays together. She calls him over
to the house. He sleeps in the guest room. On Christmas,
(07:23):
they wake up and they watch the kids open up
the presents together, and then all of that right there,
And then he says, not until recently, I'm seeing my
wife in a different light. We got married when we
were twenty four. I was still immature and selfish. So
now I'm older, he's forty six now. By the way, folks,
because he's been married twenty two years. I got married
in twenty four. I see my wife leading a household
(07:46):
without me, and it kills me inside. Here's the reason
we have this letter. I want so badly to just
apologize and go back home, but my pride gets in
the way. I said, there's a scripture that said pride.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Cometh before a fall.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Now, the four years of not filing for divorce and
this pride you have, you want so badly to go
back and apologize, but you just your pride.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Get in a way.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Well, now the fall is occurring, sir, And exactly what
is pride? Everybody? What is this thing about men? Sometimes
that prohibits us from doing what's the right thing and
watching something occur, knowing what would fix it. But your
pride gets in the way. Well, let me tell you
(08:35):
what pride is. And then he says, I fear rejection too.
Now he's trying to be honest, but this pride is
a part of that. See, the reason he don't want
to be rejected is could it be because he does
the rejected and now he don't want the roles reversed.
(08:57):
You know, you do what you want to do, but
then when it's time for you to do what you
have to do.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Oh my god, you call that pride. Okay, bro, I
go with you.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
And then he says, I fear rejection too, because the
children told me she's been dating.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
She got a.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
New haircut short, and she still got her twenty four
year old figure, and she dresses very nicely. Okay, dog,
when she got the new haircut, you ain't see this coming.
Let me tell you some fellas. When you see your
woman in the gym, when you see your woman with
a new haircut, when you see your woman going on
(09:37):
about her business, you better sit up and take notice.
If she don't ask you how you like my hair,
if she don't never mention to you why she working out,
it ain't for you. Play, it ain't for you. I
(09:57):
want so badly to go back home. I don't want
to apologize because my pride gets in the way. So
now here's what happened. I don't want her to forget
about me and move on.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
So I made up reasons to see her without the children.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
So yeah, I said to come down to the offices
because your oldest child's children Calle tuition. She show up
haf cut shorts, smelling good, body banging like a twenty
four year old. Come in the office. Everybody notices her.
He proud to call her my wife. But then she
told you, ah, we are strange. You ain't got no privilege.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Stop telling you your wife.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
How did she say.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
We are strange? You ain't got no privilege. You stop
telling people I'm your wife. Now you looking stupid down
at your little office. See this that pride or dumb pride?
The finest woman in the world is your ex on
the arms of another man. See he blew at him.
And now you're watching it. But oh, we ain't got
there yet, But we do. Right after this, though, the
(10:58):
day after our day after, I went to our middle
child's band competition, and my wife's new boyfriend was with her.
I sat far away from them because this.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Cut like a knife. It's a song.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
I got enough courage to call her to see it.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Now here we go. Now he got courage.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Now see a minute ago it was pride, right, Pride
is ignorance, man, And so now you got enough courage
to call her to see if she'd be interested in
patching things up.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
And just like she did when she came up to
the office.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Let you know you don't have no more privileges and
stop calling you meet your wife. She told you she
had moved on, and we need to file for divorce
for real this time. Because the boyfriend was saying, well,
if y'all ain't gonna divorce, why don't y'all just get divorced?
Because I want you, I cried. She was cold as ice,
(12:01):
A little bit too late for the tears. Dogs will
hold up? Excuse me? Didn't you say your pride got it?
So what is your plug?
Speaker 2 (12:10):
What happened to all that pride?
Speaker 3 (12:12):
See what else that I can't lose her? Shirley said
that you already can't lose her. Who did you see
at the band competition? You think he ain't said nothing
about the haircut and the little banging body?
Speaker 2 (12:33):
What do I do now? Or dog? I think you've
done what you're gonna do. You waited four years, You
took too long.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
You thought she was just gonna sit over there hold
of fine self and wasn't nobody else gonna want on prog.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
You may be too late.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Homie, all right, and you let your pride get in
the way.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
We gotta go.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve HARBSM
on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry Letter
podcast on demand
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