Carl Narcisse, a partner on the talent team at Andreessen Horowitz, and Whitnie Narcisse, formerly an operating partner at First Round Capital who just launched a matchmaking company, talk to Erik Torenberg about their relationship.
The couple discuss their decade-long marriage that began at a baseball game, balancing tech careers with raising three children, and applying "people ops" principles to their partnership—like maintaining a #relationshipgoals spreadsheet to track their goals. They share insights on navigating cultural differences, dating 360s, and why relationships require both spiritual alignment and a growth mindset.
Modern Relationships is a podcast from Turpentine. Learn more: www.turpentine.co
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LINKS:
Whitnie’s website: Whitnie.com
a16z.com: https://a16z.com/
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FOLLOW ON X:
Carl - @cnarcisse
Whitnie - @WhitnieLow
Erik - @eriktorenberg
Turpentine - @turpentinemedia
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TIMESTAMPS:
(00:00) Intro
(01:34) How Whitnie and Carl Met
(03:49) Their Dating Journeys Before Meeting
(07:22) Recognizing the Right Partner
(09:57) Early Relationship Challenges
(14:00) Cultural Differences
(15:50) Sponsor: Relationship Hero
(17:25) Handling Temperament Differences
(19:00) Balancing Energy Levels
(21:28) Wanting a Partner Who Leads
(23:40) Whitnie’s Evolution from Avoidant to Secure
(27:09) Applying People Ops to Marriage
(31:47) Building a Support System
(33:52) Relationship Goals and Communication
(38:26) Whitnie’s Dating Concierge Business
(44:23) The Value of 360 Reviews in Dating
(47:04) Finding the Right Partner vs. The "Perfect" Match
(53:34) Dating Process Advice
(56:04) Marriage and Commitment
(1:00:18) Navigating Challenges in Marriage
(1:02:09) Parallels Between Recruiting and Matchmaking
(1:04:30) Wrap
Chapters
00:00:00 Intro
00:01:34 How Whitnie and Carl Met
00:03:49 Their Dating Journeys Before Meeting
00:07:22 Recognizing the Right Partner
00:09:57 Early Relationship Challenges
00:14:00 Cultural Differences
00:15:50 Sponsor: Relationship Hero
00:17:25 Handling Temperament Differences
00:19:00 Balancing Energy Levels
00:21:28 Wanting a Partner Who Leads
00:23:40 Whitnie's Evolution from Avoidant to Secure
00:27:09 Applying People Ops to Marriage
00:31:47 Building a Support System
00:33:52 Relationship Goals and Communication
00:38:26 Whitnie's Dating Concierge Business
00:44:23 The Value of 360 Reviews in Dating
00:47:04 Finding the Right Partner vs. The "Perfect" Match
00:53:34 Dating Process Advice
00:56:04 Marriage and Commitment
01:00:18 Navigating Challenges in Marriage
01:02:09 Parallels Between Recruiting and Matchmaking
01:04:30 Wrap