Strong Magnet Theory: Attracting Your Ideal Partner with Joyce Zhang, High Performers Dating Coach

This week, Erik talks to dating coach and former Stripe engineer Joyce Zhang and reveals her strategic dating frameworks and explains why people's standards are too low (not high). She introduces her controversial "hardball" filtering technique, and argues that dating apps work excellently with proper strategy—but self-love remains the biggest bottleneck. Modern Relationships is a podcast from Turpentine. Learn more: www.turpentine.co -- SPONSOR: Relationship Hero It’s an open secret in Silicon Valley that people are using relationship coaches. Sign up for 1-on-1 relationship coaching (from anywhere) at RelationshipHero.com/modern. Get $50 off your first session. -- LINKS: Joyce Zhang Substack: https://thejoycezhang.substack.com/ -- FOLLOW ON X: Joyce - @thejoycezhang Erik - @eriktorenberg Turpentine - @turpentinemedia Chapters 00:00:00 Intro and Preview 00:02:30 Journey to Becoming a Dating Coach 00:03:32 What is Dating Strategy? 00:04:09 Why Dating Apps Actually Work 00:05:34 The "Inbox Zero for Hinge" Method 00:07:02 Common Profile Mistakes 00:09:21 Strong Magnet vs. Weak Magnet Theory 00:11:00 Why People's Standards Are Too Low 00:12:56 Communication Strategy After Matching 00:14:36 Sponsor - Relationship Hero 00:16:11 Live Swiping Sessions with Clients 00:21:00 Three Core Dating Problems 00:23:04 North Star Feelings Framework 00:29:35 Limiting Beliefs in Dating 00:35:53 Feeling Like a "Commodity" on Apps 00:39:00 The Stable Marriage Problem 00:47:00 Attachment Theory as a Crutch 00:49:05 Joyce's 5-Step Coaching Framework 00:56:03 MECE Compatibility Framework 01:00:54 Building a Dating Academy 01:02:51 Biggest Bottleneck: Mindset vs. Tactics 01:0:42 The Needle in a Haystack Problem 01:07:01 Wrap