July 9, 2025 • 34 mins
Imagine spending your whole life with one hairstyle, then suddenly switching it up completely. That's exactly what happened when I decided to embrace my natural waves after years of straightening my hair. What started as a casual "I don't feel like styling my hair today" moment after spring break evolved into a two-month experiment that changed not just my appearance, but my relationship with myself.
This curly hair journey began with all the classic rookie mistakes—using way too many products, feeling frustrated when my waves looked "crusty" instead of defined, and constantly touching my hair when I should have left it alone to dry. Through plenty of research, TikTok tutorials, and good old trial and error, I discovered that the secret to embracing natural texture isn't following someone else's routine—it's understanding your unique hair type and what it needs (Shop the products and tools that work for me!).
For my wavy hair, the simplified version works best: leave-in conditioner for moisture, foam for structure, curl cream for definition, and sometimes gel for hold. The game-changer? Learning to stop touching my hair once products are applied, allowing everything to fully dry before "breaking the gel cast" for soft, defined waves. But beyond the technical aspects, this experiment revealed how much of our identity as women is tied to our hair—and how liberating it can be to break free from rigid expectations.
The most valuable lesson wasn't about hair at all. It was about embracing the "and" instead of forcing an "either/or" choice. Some days I want waves, other days I crave my familiar straight style—and both versions are authentically me. This flexibility extends beyond hair; it's a powerful reminder that we don't need to box ourselves into rigid identities in any aspect of life. So whether you're contemplating your own natural hair journey or just need permission to be multiple versions of yourself, remember: you don't have to choose just one way to be you.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey friends and welcome to MomTalk, maryland.
I'm your host, claire Duarte,founder of the Columbia Mom, and
this is your spot for realconversations, local love and a
whole lot of community, whetheryou're folding laundry, running
errands or hiding in your carfor some peace and quiet.
Let's dive in.
All right, let's get this partystarted.
(00:20):
All right.
I feel like this podcast, thistalk, is actually super overdue.
I've been wanting to do it fora while, but hashtag uh, momming
, hashtag adulting, hashtagbusinessing, um or podcasting, I
should say um wanted to talkabout my hair journey, um, which
is kind of ironic because I waslike I just threw this together
(00:41):
.
I was like this is like the Idon't really care very
half-assing it, but I've gottenso many questions about the
different products I'm using, soit was like okay, perfect, how
about I kind of just like talk alittle bit about, like you know
, my hair journey?
What made me want to start it,how it's been going, what I've
been doing, um, things I'velearned along the way?
(01:02):
I mean, the challenge is likefirst of all, I am not a hair
expert, I am not a hairstylist,um, so, and my hair type is
definitely not going to be thesame as probably yours.
Um, so the products that I'vetried again might not be 100%
for you, Cause, like a bunch ofthe stuff that I was reading is
like a lot of the productssometimes are trial and error.
(01:22):
Um, I had a lot of peoplemessaging me some of the
products that they use.
I'm like, well, this is kind ofwhat I'm trying at the moment
Again, and I also think, like,living in Maryland, we're also
coming into like crazy hot heatand I'm like I wonder if the
products that I was using isgoing to change.
I don't know, but anyway, sojust to kind of like note, to be
like it's obviously such apersonal journey that like don't
(01:43):
take this as prescriptive,certainly I don't either.
And some of the things that Iwas doing at the beginning, I
quickly learned that, oh, youdon't need to do all of that.
And then, like some of thesteps that I was doing, I
realized, oh, that wasn'tprobably right for my hair type,
my curl type.
So, yeah, just like littlethings like that.
But that way kind of doing thisactually forces me to be like
(02:03):
okay, now I can put all theproducts in like one place and
that way you can see them, youcan reference them.
You can like, click on thelinks, check them out, whatever.
You know what I mean.
All right, so let's go back alittle bit.
Ironically, I feel like a lot ofthings in my life started for
me when I came back from springbreak, that you know that's when
I started my elimination dietand working on some of my health
(02:24):
things.
Right, when I came back fromspring break, it was either that
well, we drove home on a Sunday, excuse me and like one of the
days I had to shower and wash myhair was either Monday or
Tuesday, something like that,and I was just like, oh, I don't
really feel like doing my hair.
I don't remember if I had afull schedule or what I mean.
Chances are I probably was.
I don't remember if I had afull schedule or what I mean.
(02:46):
Chances are I probably was.
And like a month or two beforethat, I had done my hair
scrunchie and I was like youknow what?
Something just kind of leanedin my head.
It was kind of quick and easyto do that, and who cares?
And I remember doing a pollaround that.
I was like do you actually likethis?
Do you think it's OK?
Are you just being nice, likewhat's, what's the deal?
Um, and I was like you knowwhat, like a little voice just
(03:08):
said just do it, just try it.
And because it was at the timewhen I was also starting the
elimination diet and I was likeyou know what if I also I mean
this is the woman in me likelet's layer on something else,
because that's what we do.
We just keep layering, like wecan keep adding more things,
more craziness to the chaos.
And I was like what if I triedbeing curly for a month?
What if I leaned into that tosee what it's like, you know?
(03:29):
And so, yeah, so what's kind ofjust started on a whim, I
decided to kind of try to likereally lean hard into it.
And, yeah, I definitely did it.
And yeah, in a way, I am prettyproud of myself and honestly,
for the most part, I've beensticking to it.
I've done my hair straight twiceliterally since Charleston.
(03:52):
I came home from Charlestonliterally end of April, so it's
been two months, right, and I'veonly, like I said, worn my hair
straight twice since then.
I have crimped it a little bit.
So if you want to be superlegal about like you know what
heat products or heat tools I'veused.
I mean, I know some curlypeople will kind of, um, you
know, still do a curling iron orwhatever.
(04:13):
Um, I haven't played around alot with that yet.
Um, granted, like I said, I'monly like two months kind of
into this as far as kind of likethis is outside of the you know
, the 90s and the, not the 90slike the 2000s crunch that I was
doing at like end of highschool and college, right, so so
let's get into it.
So when I first started, I juststarted using kind of like a
(04:34):
ton of the products that I have,because I was like I didn't
know anybody, I definitelydidn't have any gel, and I
realized early on that, like you, the people were were saying
you don't need like eightproducts.
Because I was, I feel like Iwas using all of these things.
Um, so I started reading up onlike the curly girl method and
um, and I was watching somevideos on um, tiktok and
(04:57):
Instagram, um, and reading up onthings anywhere where I could
kind of like learn, like, hey,what's the right steps, and then
, okay, so that's what, this iswhat you do on wash day.
But but I was like, okay, well,now it's not wash day.
So what do I do, you know, likewithout cause, I think the my
very first week sorry, the first, my very first week of doing
curly hair.
I definitely hadn't like broughtup on the curly hair method, so
(05:18):
I was still doing like dryshampoo and doing some more
product down here, so it justfelt like a lot was going on.
I mean, it's still a lot likegenerally is going on.
But you know, um, I was like Idon't know if I like this, I
don't know the way, if I likethe way that this looks.
I was kind of frustrated and Idefinitely wanted to give up for
sure, cause I was like thislooks gross.
I feel like I look cheap.
(05:39):
I feel like I look like crusty.
You know what I mean.
And, um, I definitely justcould not get the balance right,
and this is probably also whythey say don't use a ton of
products, right?
Um, I mean, what I will say isI feel like I can go longer
without washing my hair whenit's curly or wavy verse, when
it's straight, uh, I feel likewhen I'm wearing it straight, um
(06:01):
, uh, I feel like I can go twoto three days, but then I get
the like I feel like it's nastyand then I want to wash it again
.
Um, so I feel like I canstretch it more to like five
days or something.
When it's curly, we're in it.
We're not in the thick ofsummer yet, so we'll see.
Um.
So, yeah, so leaning into thecurly girl method.
Um, I feel like I have allthese products over here, so I
(06:23):
think I'm just going to jump andstart showing you Okay, um.
So again, products, like I said,are so personally specific, but
here's something that I thinkeveryone should have is just
little Mr Spray bottle, whichthis is so funny.
I was like, oh, you mean thething that the hairdressers use,
like it's on Amazon, anybodycan get it.
I was like, oh, anyway, fine,funny enough, I have like one on
(06:45):
each floor for my daughter, forher hair Cause.
I'm like, oh wait, why didn't Iget this?
You know, so I make, and for mydaughter I mix, just like water
and detangler, and then I justkeep refilling it.
Um, so that way it's a littlebit mix of both.
Um, so it's easy for the kids.
Um, but then I got one for me.
This is just water and I usethis for on refresh days.
Um, so before I guess I talkthrough refresh days, let me
(07:08):
just walk through I guess what Iwould consider the full routine
.
Uh, on hair wash days, um, okay, so I have a couple products
here, so, and the and it isimportant to do products in a
certain sequence and most thingsas it relates to, like the
(07:28):
curly girl method.
This is where it also your haircurl type is important and also
your outcome goal is important,because that will determine
which steps you do, in whichorder or which products you use
or not, kind of thing.
So for me, I have I'mforgetting the curl type because
it's like to be open, I don't,I don't remember anymore.
I looked at it a while ago.
(07:48):
I just know this kind of stepsto go along with it, I have wavy
hair with a little bit of the Sshape, as you can like kind of
see, but it's not like ringlets.
So, and I've always known thatI've had wavy hair, so this is
just like me, finally, kind ofleaning into it or my home
hormones are just really at playand also influencing that as
(08:09):
well.
So, um, a lot of the steps werelike, as soon as you get out of
the hair, when your hair soakingwet.
That's when you start puttingin the products and you, yes,
you absolutely can, and you andI still can do that with my hair
type.
For me, I realized I don'tafter doing that for a while.
I don't know if I loved that.
Look on me, that's okay.
You know what I mean.
(08:30):
The majority of things say doit soaking wet, you know, and
you scrunch it and you flip yourhair upside down and do all
these things and I still do allof that.
But I do let it air dry alittle bit because I want a
little bit of a softer lookbecause, again, they're waves.
I don't like it when it's likesuper, like flat to my head and
I mean there's an element of itdrying that way.
(08:50):
But again, just, I just wasn'tlike loving that look for me,
and again, it's also about likeknowing, again, knowing your
hair type, knowing what the outthe style outcome goal is, will
help determine what you do andwhat I've been doing, so, okay.
So when I wash my hair um, youdon't have to I like to leave in
(09:11):
like a little leave-inconditioner.
Um, my hair salon is an Avedasalon, so I use primarily Aveda
products because that's whatthey have and that's what they
use.
So that's just kind of like themajority of what I have on hand
.
Um.
So this one is the Avedabotanical repair strengthening
leave in treatment.
Um, plant powered damage repair.
(09:31):
Um, I'm like low on this one.
Um, I like this one a lot.
Um, so you know, I'll come outof the shower, brush my hair, um
, and they say for curly hair,like you know, that's the only
time you ever brush it Brush myhair and you can put in.
And again, I think for like theleave-in conditioner, that's a
little personal preference oflike how much, you know you
(09:51):
don't have to do like fullcoverage, like you know, you can
kind of do just the ends or youcan kind of go all over or
trouble spots, but you don'tneed to like overly saturate
your hair.
I do have other types of likeleave-in conditioners that are
spray-based.
So I'll either use this one orthe spray one.
You know you can kind of dothat.
So after I do the leave-inconditioner is where I like to
(10:16):
use a little foam.
Again, this one is the AvedaNutraplenish.
It's saline treatment foam.
What I like about this one,it's not too hard and crunchy,
um, and even when I I like.
I use this even when I'm doingmy hair straight, cause it's
just like a nice again stylingfoam and it's um, it just gives
it nice body and structurewithout it being rigid.
(10:38):
Um, so, and it so it feelslight but powerful.
Um, so, it feels light butpowerful.
So this is where I'll do quitea few pumps of this and start to
do kind of like the scrunchingboth side to side, do majority
(10:58):
upside down, you know, head tocrown kind of thing.
So leave-in conditioner, thenmousse.
Again, you don't have to domousse, this is just a personal
preference.
So those are the kind ofstarting lineup.
Um, depending on the weather,weather has been wacky the last
couple weeks because we've had alot of rain.
Now we're moving into heat.
Um, I love this product.
(11:19):
This is the color.
Wow, dream Spray.
I'm reading straight from thebottle.
This is not an ad, this is notsponsored, any of it.
It's the Magically TransformedTexture, amazing Humidity,
proofing Powers.
So definitely on like rainydays is when I like to kind of
do like a spritz all over.
(11:40):
Again, this is one you want to.
You can go all over, just don'tgo heavy, because it's it's not
oil-based, but like I feel likeit can a little goes a long way
, right it's.
It's like one of those productsbecause it feels heavier than a
leave-in conditioner, becauseit is also like working to add
shine but also protect your hair.
So this is just an add-on asneeded.
(12:00):
Again, your, if you get, aremore prone to frizzy or things
in humid temperatures.
This could be your best frienddaily, just know your hair type
kind of thing.
So color wow is usually whenI'll do that.
Let's see Next.
Next Cream Okay, so the realnuts and bolts.
(12:22):
You can kind of get away withdoing hair stuff and with
literally basically just twoproducts, right, curl cream and
curl gel.
That's kind of like you canliterally boil it down to just
those two.
There's a lot of people thatargue that.
There's a lot of people argueall sides of it really doesn't
really matter.
It's not really even anargument Because it just goes
back to personal preferences.
But you always do curl creamfirst before gel and curl cream
(12:49):
and sometimes you might beperfectly fine doing just the
curl cream.
That's what I've beenexperimenting with lately is
using less gel, because I don'tknow that.
I loved the gel casting.
Again, I think I have more toplay with that.
Again, I don't have ringletcurls, but anyways.
So after I've done sorry, let mego back I keep running over
(13:12):
Leave in conditioner mousse,humidity as needed, Then this
one you still can brush again.
But now we're going to use ohsorry y'all Too many products.
This is what happens.
We are going to use a ton ofcurl cream Like you can use like
(13:32):
not a handful, but like I startwith like a big dollop right,
and I'll probably do at leasttwo of those, if not more, or
something like that.
And then this is where youstart to like heavily scrunch
right.
And this is where you start tolike heavily scrunch right and
some people actually even saylike douse your hair, like you
know, go all the way up to yourroots and fully like cut, make
(13:53):
sure your whole hair is coveredright.
Again, this is where I think itknow your hair type.
I think the curlier your hairis, the more true, that is like
the more tighter those curls.
Um, I feel like for me, lessproduct directly around here is
somewhat better, is where I tendto get a tad more oily and
things like that.
So, yeah, so you do a lot ofthe curl, you know, cream going
(14:19):
like this Again, lots of upsidedown, like literally, like
flipping your head and likescrunching up, and I do scrunch
and I, you know, even though Imight not bring the product
directly to my roots, I willscrunch and bring it like
literally all the way in anddoing, you know, lots of that,
lots of like this, but mainlylike to the side and while it's
(14:39):
bent over and things like that.
So once I feel kind ofsufficient with the curl cream,
you can leave it there, you canstop there, um, or you can
finish with a curl gel.
And there's so many people,there's so many different types
of gel.
Again, this is both of theseare not your mother's, um, this
is defining a curl talk creamand this is frizz control, curl
(15:03):
talk sculpting gel.
This one says firm, flexible,hold number three, so that's not
too bad.
Um, the curl gel cells saysmade with rice, curl complex,
whatever that is, um, but yeah,you can finish with a gel and
the goal of the gel is to helplock in, um, uh, this lock in
(15:25):
the style, lock in the curl, um,retain, you know, some of the
moisture, sealing those cuticles, sealing the hair, and to
prevent frizz.
Um, things like that.
And the biggest tip that I'velearned, regardless of whether
you end with gel or end withcream, whatever, once you have
put all your products in, stoptouching your hair, because I
(15:48):
feel like my mistake the firstcouple of weeks was that I would
just kind of it sort of feelsgood, you kind of just keep
going like this right and stoptouching your hair.
You need to basically like letthe products fully sit and I
feel like you kind ofself-induce, more of a
frizziness the more you keeptouching it because you need to
let the products just fully,like take root, literally, you
(16:13):
know, and you want them to fullydry.
You can again, after doing thegel, you can go in and hit it
with a diffuser.
Again, there's multipledifferent ways of how people
will use diffusers.
Some people will take thediffuser and kind of literally
go right on the hair or even allthe way up into the root and
kind of like again, kind ofgoing like this.
(16:33):
I have seen a lot of people dothis because they kind of want
to help lift your roots actuallyand dry this area so it doesn't
dry so kind of flat and stuckto your face.
But then a lot of other peoplesay that that can cause
frizziness because you kind ofreally are getting up in there
and you're kind of causing thehairs, um, and the ends to
potentially fray.
So some people will literallyjust go or take the humidifier
(16:57):
and ever so gently, maybethey're barely touching the hair
, but kind of just go around sothat they're kind of sending
heat to the area to help seal itwithout coming into too heavy
contact with the hair.
So again, a couple differentschools of thought.
Sometimes, again, it's trialand error, could, like that,
could also be tool dependent.
Um, I have um, it's an oldgeneration but it is a Dyson
(17:20):
hairdryer with a diffuserattachment.
Um, it's not the latest model,it's like five years old or
something like that.
Um, it is very powerful, whichI do like Um, but, um, the times
that I've trialed it recently,I mean I like using a diffuser,
it feels good and I feel likeinitially it looks good, but
then it's still the times thatI've done it, I feel like it
still looks a little frizzylater.
(17:40):
So again, I don't know ifthat's just the combo of
products I use that day, um, orwas it because the diffuser is
making, you know, like, kind oflike that's that side product of
like it's going to get a littlefrizzy because of kind of sort
of coming in contact with is ithow I styled it?
Is it, did I not?
(18:04):
Was I going in with thediffuser?
Was I going around?
I don't, I, I haven't doneenough trial and error, but I
know that that's probably not myfavorite way to style it, which
is okay Sometimes if you're ina pinch like it's great to do
that because that way you feellike you're not leaving the
house with wet hair.
At least it is dried and styled.
So there is that benefit.
Because I think sometimes whenyou have like curly, wet hair
and you're like, okay, like I, Iknow that I'm done, I know that
I'm polished, I know that I'mput together, but my hair looks
(18:25):
so wet so it's still just likegives a different persona to
yourself, right, and you're likeso again, pros and cons, you
know it's just, it's so.
Much of it goes back topersonal choice and what you're
going for that day.
So that's a diffuser, so sorry.
Jumping back to gel, so, like Isaid, I was mentioning that the
(18:46):
point of the gel is topotentially like cast your hair
and those that are doing itstraight from hair wash when
your hair is literally soakingwet and sorry, I didn't mention
this before, if that is yourroute.
They also say do not put yourhair in a towel, because the
towel, will you know, take isthe goal.
Like, once you flip your hairup in a towel, it's taking some
(19:08):
of the moisture out, um, thewetness.
You want your hair basicallystill soaking wet.
Um, because you want to yourhair, you're basically want your
hair to fully attach the sorry,you want your products to fully
attach to the hair in thatstate.
Um, because once it starts,once you start to towel dry it,
like even if you're not toweldrying it, but it's like you
throw up in the towel, you're um, it's gonna start acting like a
(19:30):
sponge immediately.
Um, so when I quickly realizedthat.
So when I got out of the shower,like I had to change my shower
routine.
Like when I got out of theshower, I I would start my, my,
my face, my skincare, likelotioning my body, and I was
like, oh, I have to like jump inand do my hair right away,
which felt very unnatural for meand I didn't love it.
But I was like here we are, youknow, um, so anyway, so then
(19:52):
you would still walk through thesame process and routine that I
said.
But you know, if you again, ifyou're ending with a gel, curl
gel, cream, gel, curl gel um,again, you can still use a lot
of this um, kind of like thecurl cream.
Um, your, the goal is to cast asmuch you know around the hair
(20:12):
um to really hold and seal it.
Um, because sometimes they sayif you don't use enough gel it
could still cause frizz.
Using too much gel obviouslywon't, it's just going to be
stiffer and harder.
Now, if you're like me andyou're like I don't like the
stiff, hard gel, look there arelots of other different types of
products and some other gelsand some other creams that can
(20:37):
give you that stronghold withoutthat hard, stiff gel look.
But here's what I'm also goingto say, um, without having
trialed all of them right, isthat you can break the gel, the
gel cast and this is what theysay, so it's like, but don't
touch your hair until it isfully dried and you can still um
, even with doing gel, you couldstill diffuse it.
(20:58):
Um, again, you can do the one ortwo options of whether you
actually go in with a diffuseror you kind of go around, but
for me lately, I primarily letit air dry.
So once I learned that Ishouldn't touch it, I just
wouldn't touch it.
I'd be wanting to, but Iwouldn't.
And then, once you know, take acouple hours, once it was like
fully dry, that's when I wouldlet my hands come back in.
(21:19):
You can either do it with yourhands or they say you can take,
uh, an old t-shirt or a towel.
That way you feel like you'renot getting your any residue or
dirtiness on your hands straightstraight to your hair.
So I've just done my hands, tobe honest, um, but in a perfect
world, right?
Um, so then you would just takeyour hands the same way and
just kind of gently try to breakit up, let it be a little
(21:49):
looser.
That way you feel like youdon't have that, like you know,
very hard crunchy.
Look to your hair and likethat's my favorite part, oh, I
can.
Finally, you know, let it loose, right, and?
And for some women, that's whenthey've achieved like peak
curly status and you see thosebeautiful ringlets like really
come to life because they'refinally kind of like breaking
free out of their cocoon.
Um, so, and, and that's, andthat's what helps them achieve
that beautiful curly lookwithout the frizz.
(22:11):
That's the ultimate goal.
Right, we're like.
We like we don't mind the curlyhair, we don't mind it being
wavy, we hate the frizz, we hatethe stuff that comes along with
it, right, um, and I say thatbeing like I totally half-assed
this today and I was like Idon't really care, I don't feel
like putting a whole lot ofeffort into it, um, but it's and
it's also refresh day.
So, like I said, all I did wasjust use a little bit of water,
(22:33):
a little bit of the leave-inproduct and a little bit of curl
gel.
Honestly, I didn't feel likedoing much more than that, and
the reality is like it to eachtheir own, right, you can do as
much or as little as you want.
Like who cares, right?
You know, I think for a while Iwas tempted.
I was trying to be likeprescriptive in the sense of
like, okay, I want to follow thesteps.
I want to like see how thislooks, see how this works, make
sure I'm kind of like doing realright or wrong, that's okay.
(23:00):
Um, but, um, I mean, what's beeninteresting for me, I feel like
, with this journey, is thatit's forced me to try different
hairstyles and see myself in adifferent way.
Like, obviously, every time Ilook in the mirror or look in
the camera, I'm like um, I'm notused to seeing myself with this
like texture hair.
(23:20):
I've just always had and alwaysstyled my hair straight
primarily, other than when Ilike curl it.
You know, again, I've alwaysseen like in the back of my hair
that I get those like littlelike ridges, and I was like I
definitely know it's wavy,because my hair will absolutely
hold a curl and if I air dry itit definitely drives like,
doesn't dry like this.
(23:40):
I do have to put product in tokind of really get it to like
come out like this, which is why, again, like it'll dry straight
, but a much looser wave, right.
So I'm scrunching it to kind ofhelp give it more wave
influence, wave fluence, if youmay.
So that's for a while, and sothat was one of the other things
(24:01):
.
Like when I started all this, Iwas like I kind of feel like a
little bit of an imposter herebecause I feel like I'm trying
too hard for this.
Um, and it's interestingbecause I feel like you see
these different schools ofthoughts, of like I don't know
if you're, if you're familiarwith the runner community.
But people like you know, ifyou like can put sneakers on,
like, and you can run like you.
Like you're a runner, you know,um, and you know that's meant
(24:21):
to be implied that anybody is arunner if you want to be and if
you want to go out and do itright and um, it doesn't matter
your pace, like you know, youdon't need to be a certain speed
to be a runner, right.
And I think the same thing kindof applies with, like, the curly
hair, like curly hair, wavyhair, whatever you know, there's
no right or wrong, there's nolike, oh, you're only curly.
(24:42):
If your hair naturally lookslike this when you walk out of
the shower, then I've seen theother side of the spectrum, I
swear.
There was like a commercial forsome product and the girl had
like, probably one tiny littlekink in her hair and like, wait,
like the girl, her friend saidto her hey, like you have wavy
hair, like you have this onething and I'm like that felt a
little bit of a stretch, butlike, again, I'll allow it again
(25:03):
, I'm not the hair police and Igenuinely don't care.
Um, like, you can do your hairhowever you want, that's fine,
um, same goes for me.
So, like I mean ironically Iknow I made a post a few weeks
ago.
It was like, uh, I celebratedfour weeks of curly hair by
going straight.
I was getting the itch becausewe went out to our staycation
(25:29):
and I was like we were going togo out to dinner and I was like
I'm really itching because Ihadn't seen my hair straight in
a while.
And you know what I did and Ifelt glorious.
It felt glorious.
My hair felt so good and youknow like, what was really nice
about that is because I couldtell my hair had really grown in
, like in about a month.
(25:49):
Yeah, my hair had really grownand it did feel really good
Because I hadn't put heat on itlike in a long time.
Not that I was putting Idefinitely don't use heat every
day, or, and I definitely don'tuse heat every day, or and I
definitely didn't do heat everyday, even when I was wearing it
straight.
But it definitely felt veryhealthy and felt very good, very
full, very thick, and I waslike, yeah, that's what's up,
(26:11):
you know.
So, in a way, I feel like thatkind of helped reinforce, like,
all right, let's keep doing this, because for when I even, when
I do, decided to, you know, doit straight again, like it's
it's good to have the time off,kind of thing.
Um, and let's see, I did wearit straight again this past week
(26:31):
, ironically because I had aworkshop and so I was like I
kind of want to be straight forthat, ironically, we had like
crazy rain and storms and Ishould have gone curly.
Um, I just didn't want to be,cause I was recording it and I
was like what would would I be,would I like to see myself from
recording with curly hair,straight hair.
I say that now like I'mobviously sitting here on the
(26:52):
podcast with curly hair, um, butI also didn't care.
Today I was like whatever, um,so it's, you know, like I said,
it's just a journey, it's anever-evolving journey and for me
, I'm still kind of like thisdoesn't mean that like, oh, all
of a sudden now I have to becurly every single day for the
rest of my life, like I love, Ilike that, I challenge myself to
(27:16):
do it for a month and I likethat.
Now that I'm on the other side,I feel like I've learned a lot
and I've also learned to embraceand accept myself in a
different way, which I think iskind of neat, kind of cool, like
I wasn't doing it.
For that reason and there wasplenty of days when I would look
in the mirror and be like, oh,I hate this, I hate what I see,
I'm so tired of it I'm like, oh,I just want, like you know, I
(27:38):
just want my straight hair.
I just want to like look andsee that.
Right, you know, because itdoes.
I think for many women likeblack or white or brown or
whatever you know, I think somuch of our self-identity and
confidence is tied to our hair,and I absolutely know that for
sure, and you know so.
(28:00):
That's where I think a lot ofthat discomfort comes from.
And yeah, so now that we'relike in the thick of the heat of
summer, I'm like, okay, I thinkI'm definitely going to do this
more, because it's like I was,like it's easier, first of all
and you know, is it worth medoing my hair straight when I'm?
When it's going to be so hotoutside, I'm probably going to
throw my hair up anyways.
(28:21):
So I'm interested to see ifI'll play around with more
different hairstyles.
Like I said, I felt like it wascute and kind of cool to see my
like you know, like clip my hairup in different ways and it
would, you know, having thetexture kind of gave me more
ability to like do differentthings and have it look a
different way.
So, like there was times when Ifeel like I could like have
like a little like front piecehere and I'm like, oh, that
(28:42):
looks so cute and I couldn't dothat was true, I could.
It just felt like my hair waslike thinner or not exactly oily
, but it wouldn't stay, but thecurly would, and I'm like all
right.
So, um, like I said, I don'tknow what's yet to come, um, but
that's kind of where I'm atright now and I think it's just
(29:02):
like the perfect life lesson,too, of not everything is finite
, not everything has to be blackand white one way or the other.
Like let's enjoy the and let'senjoy the.
You can have curly hair andstraight hair.
Let's enjoy the.
You can have curly hair andstraight hair.
You know you can have.
(29:22):
I don't have another goodexample, but I do think that
whole point of like you know,living in the and like.
I feel like I do struggle withthat with many things in my life
.
So that's what I feel like thispersonal self-experiment almost
was for me Let me force myselfto see if I can do was for me.
It's like let let me forcemyself to see, see if I can do
this, see, see what it's like.
And you know, um, like I said,I found myself on Pinterest a
(29:44):
lot.
I found myself on Tik TOK a lot,even on chat, and I was like,
can you help me make sense ofthis?
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,um.
And then I was like, wait, chat, you're wrong.
And I needed to fact checkCurly Girl Method.
You know what I mean.
A lot of back and forth.
But yeah, here's to living inthe and here's to you know,
curly hair, wavy hair, straighthair, natural hair, whatever
(30:09):
hair you do have, whateverproducts you do use, let me know
if you found this helpful.
Products you do use, um, let meknow if you found this helpful,
um, or if you want to hear morestuff like this, whether it's,
you know, hair, or skincare ormakeup, or I don't know um.
I'm always looking for umtopics that you might be
(30:29):
interested in, um as it relatesto my personal experience, or
things that I can talk on.
Again, this was, this was in noway, uh, sponsored by these
products.
Just, oh, actually, sorry,before I finally wrap, I forgot
I had one other thing hidingback here.
Um, my hair.
When I got my haircut she, whichI kind of thought was neat, and
I've done this a little bitthis is like I don't know what
you call it Pick home, um, I'm.
(30:53):
So this is how freaking white Iam.
Um, a pick, comb, a comb, apick.
Oh my god, I sound so stupid.
Okay, um, so once she did itright, she cut like and I saw
I've seen other creators sort ofdo this it kind of you can kind
of like put it in your hair andalmost like pick it up.
You can kind of like leave itthere, wait, I have to see this,
(31:14):
wait, I have to see this.
So the idea is that it's tryingto give you kind of volume and
you can kind of leave it thereas your hair is drying, to set.
And again, the goal is tryingto like lift the roots, or you
could do this to like keep kindof lifting the roots, like that.
(31:36):
That way you feel likeeverything doesn't dry like
straight on your head, straighton your scalp.
So, um, again, it's multifaceted.
However you but I love that Igot a little bit more of a bump
right there.
That made me happy.
Um, oh, my gosh, um.
So, anyway, sorry, that wasjust my other like little tool
(31:56):
product for you.
So, anyways, any other topicrecommendations that you have,
if you found this helpful orinteresting, um, let me know.
But, um, we will also be, uh,in our show notes.
We'll definitely be in, um, uh,show notes slash blog, be
linking all the products herefor you for you to check out, um
(32:22):
, and yeah, so, um, I guess, ifyou have a curly girlfriend,
give her a hug and let her knowthat it's that you got beautiful
hair, no matter, no matterwhich way it is.
And for those girls, for thegirls that may be straight in
their hair, trying to hide theircurly hair, reality is like, I
don't have a perfect message foryou, because I know that I
haven't walked that life, um,and I know that that's a very
multifaceted thing, um, so, youknow, I feel like I was about to
say, like you know, let yourcurl free.
(32:42):
And I was like I feel likethat's almost not my thing, my
phrase to be able to say,because, again, I feel like it's
not the life that I've lived.
But, um, I feel like I can sayhere's to embracing your natural
hair, however it may be.
And if you do have curly hairbut you love styling it a
(33:03):
certain way, so be it.
Who cares?
Who cares?
Make yourself happy.
You know what I mean?
I mean, surely there'sobviously something nice to
leaning into your natural hair,so we're not putting not putting
, say, as many products in it oras much heat damage, etc.
Etc.
But again, sometimes one way orthe other is harder.
You know what I mean.
Like I had someone tell me thatlike they're like oh, I just
(33:25):
straighten my hair because it'sso much easier.
Like doing curly, like all theproducts and the steps and the
method was just, it was just somuch easier to maintain it
straight, and I was like likeyou know what that makes so much
sense?
Also, my problem is I can seethings any which way and this is
why I struggle with makingdecisions.
So, anyways, here's to hair,here's to loving your hair,
(33:48):
here's to loving yourself, andI'll catch you next time.
Thanks for tuning in to thisepisode of Mom Talk Maryland.
If you loved it, leave a review, share it with a friend or
@the.
columbiamom on Instagram.
I'd love to hear what you thinkand don't forget to follow the
show so you never miss anepisode.
Until next time, keep showingup, keep supporting local and
(34:14):
keep being the incredible mom,woman, human that you are.
Hey friends and welcome to MomTalk, maryland.
I'm your host, claire Duarte,founder of the Columbia Mom, and
this is your spot for realconversations, local love and a
whole lot of community, whetheryou're folding laundry, running
errands or hiding in your carfor some peace and quiet.
Let's dive in.
All right, let's get this partystarted.
(00:20):
All right.
I feel like this podcast, thistalk, is actually super overdue.
I've been wanting to do it fora while, but hashtag uh, momming
, hashtag adulting, hashtagbusinessing, um or podcasting, I
should say um wanted to talkabout my hair journey, um, which
is kind of ironic because I waslike I just threw this together
(00:41):
.
I was like this is like the Idon't really care very
half-assing it, but I've gottenso many questions about the
different products I'm using, soit was like okay, perfect, how
about I kind of just like talk alittle bit about, like you know
, my hair journey?
What made me want to start it,how it's been going, what I've
been doing, um, things I'velearned along the way?
(01:02):
I mean, the challenge is likefirst of all, I am not a hair
expert, I am not a hairstylist,um, so, and my hair type is
definitely not going to be thesame as probably yours.
Um, so the products that I'vetried again might not be 100%
for you, Cause, like a bunch ofthe stuff that I was reading is
like a lot of the productssometimes are trial and error.
(01:22):
Um, I had a lot of peoplemessaging me some of the
products that they use.
I'm like, well, this is kind ofwhat I'm trying at the moment
Again, and I also think, like,living in Maryland, we're also
coming into like crazy hot heatand I'm like I wonder if the
products that I was using isgoing to change.
I don't know, but anyway, sojust to kind of like note, to be
like it's obviously such apersonal journey that like don't
(01:43):
take this as prescriptive,certainly I don't either.
And some of the things that Iwas doing at the beginning, I
quickly learned that, oh, youdon't need to do all of that.
And then, like some of thesteps that I was doing, I
realized, oh, that wasn'tprobably right for my hair type,
my curl type.
So, yeah, just like littlethings like that.
But that way kind of doing thisactually forces me to be like
(02:03):
okay, now I can put all theproducts in like one place and
that way you can see them, youcan reference them.
You can like, click on thelinks, check them out, whatever.
You know what I mean.
All right, so let's go back alittle bit.
Ironically, I feel like a lot ofthings in my life started for
me when I came back from springbreak, that you know that's when
I started my elimination dietand working on some of my health
(02:24):
things.
Right, when I came back fromspring break, it was either that
well, we drove home on a Sunday, excuse me and like one of the
days I had to shower and wash myhair was either Monday or
Tuesday, something like that,and I was just like, oh, I don't
really feel like doing my hair.
I don't remember if I had afull schedule or what I mean.
Chances are I probably was.
I don't remember if I had afull schedule or what I mean.
(02:46):
Chances are I probably was.
And like a month or two beforethat, I had done my hair
scrunchie and I was like youknow what?
Something just kind of leanedin my head.
It was kind of quick and easyto do that, and who cares?
And I remember doing a pollaround that.
I was like do you actually likethis?
Do you think it's OK?
Are you just being nice, likewhat's, what's the deal?
Um, and I was like you knowwhat, like a little voice just
(03:08):
said just do it, just try it.
And because it was at the timewhen I was also starting the
elimination diet and I was likeyou know what if I also I mean
this is the woman in me likelet's layer on something else,
because that's what we do.
We just keep layering, like wecan keep adding more things,
more craziness to the chaos.
And I was like what if I triedbeing curly for a month?
What if I leaned into that tosee what it's like, you know?
(03:29):
And so, yeah, so what's kind ofjust started on a whim, I
decided to kind of try to likereally lean hard into it.
And, yeah, I definitely did it.
And yeah, in a way, I am prettyproud of myself and honestly,
for the most part, I've beensticking to it.
I've done my hair straight twiceliterally since Charleston.
(03:52):
I came home from Charlestonliterally end of April, so it's
been two months, right, and I'veonly, like I said, worn my hair
straight twice since then.
I have crimped it a little bit.
So if you want to be superlegal about like you know what
heat products or heat tools I'veused.
I mean, I know some curlypeople will kind of, um, you
know, still do a curling iron orwhatever.
(04:13):
Um, I haven't played around alot with that yet.
Um, granted, like I said, I'monly like two months kind of
into this as far as kind of likethis is outside of the you know
, the 90s and the, not the 90slike the 2000s crunch that I was
doing at like end of highschool and college, right, so so
let's get into it.
So when I first started, I juststarted using kind of like a
(04:34):
ton of the products that I have,because I was like I didn't
know anybody, I definitelydidn't have any gel, and I
realized early on that, like you, the people were were saying
you don't need like eightproducts.
Because I was, I feel like Iwas using all of these things.
Um, so I started reading up onlike the curly girl method and
um, and I was watching somevideos on um, tiktok and
(04:57):
Instagram, um, and reading up onthings anywhere where I could
kind of like learn, like, hey,what's the right steps, and then
, okay, so that's what, this iswhat you do on wash day.
But but I was like, okay, well,now it's not wash day.
So what do I do, you know, likewithout cause, I think the my
very first week sorry, the first, my very first week of doing
curly hair.
I definitely hadn't like broughtup on the curly hair method, so
(05:18):
I was still doing like dryshampoo and doing some more
product down here, so it justfelt like a lot was going on.
I mean, it's still a lot likegenerally is going on.
But you know, um, I was like Idon't know if I like this, I
don't know the way, if I likethe way that this looks.
I was kind of frustrated and Idefinitely wanted to give up for
sure, cause I was like thislooks gross.
I feel like I look cheap.
(05:39):
I feel like I look like crusty.
You know what I mean.
And, um, I definitely justcould not get the balance right,
and this is probably also whythey say don't use a ton of
products, right?
Um, I mean, what I will say isI feel like I can go longer
without washing my hair whenit's curly or wavy verse, when
it's straight, uh, I feel likewhen I'm wearing it straight, um
(06:01):
, uh, I feel like I can go twoto three days, but then I get
the like I feel like it's nastyand then I want to wash it again
.
Um, so I feel like I canstretch it more to like five
days or something.
When it's curly, we're in it.
We're not in the thick ofsummer yet, so we'll see.
Um.
So, yeah, so leaning into thecurly girl method.
Um, I feel like I have allthese products over here, so I
(06:23):
think I'm just going to jump andstart showing you Okay, um.
So again, products, like I said,are so personally specific, but
here's something that I thinkeveryone should have is just
little Mr Spray bottle, whichthis is so funny.
I was like, oh, you mean thething that the hairdressers use,
like it's on Amazon, anybodycan get it.
I was like, oh, anyway, fine,funny enough, I have like one on
(06:45):
each floor for my daughter, forher hair Cause.
I'm like, oh wait, why didn't Iget this?
You know, so I make, and for mydaughter I mix, just like water
and detangler, and then I justkeep refilling it.
Um, so that way it's a littlebit mix of both.
Um, so it's easy for the kids.
Um, but then I got one for me.
This is just water and I usethis for on refresh days.
Um, so before I guess I talkthrough refresh days, let me
(07:08):
just walk through I guess what Iwould consider the full routine
.
Uh, on hair wash days, um, okay, so I have a couple products
here, so, and the and it isimportant to do products in a
certain sequence and most thingsas it relates to, like the
(07:28):
curly girl method.
This is where it also your haircurl type is important and also
your outcome goal is important,because that will determine
which steps you do, in whichorder or which products you use
or not, kind of thing.
So for me, I have I'mforgetting the curl type because
it's like to be open, I don't,I don't remember anymore.
I looked at it a while ago.
(07:48):
I just know this kind of stepsto go along with it, I have wavy
hair with a little bit of the Sshape, as you can like kind of
see, but it's not like ringlets.
So, and I've always known thatI've had wavy hair, so this is
just like me, finally, kind ofleaning into it or my home
hormones are just really at playand also influencing that as
(08:09):
well.
So, um, a lot of the steps werelike, as soon as you get out of
the hair, when your hair soakingwet.
That's when you start puttingin the products and you, yes,
you absolutely can, and you andI still can do that with my hair
type.
For me, I realized I don'tafter doing that for a while.
I don't know if I loved that.
Look on me, that's okay.
You know what I mean.
(08:30):
The majority of things say doit soaking wet, you know, and
you scrunch it and you flip yourhair upside down and do all
these things and I still do allof that.
But I do let it air dry alittle bit because I want a
little bit of a softer lookbecause, again, they're waves.
I don't like it when it's likesuper, like flat to my head and
I mean there's an element of itdrying that way.
(08:50):
But again, just, I just wasn'tlike loving that look for me,
and again, it's also about likeknowing, again, knowing your
hair type, knowing what the outthe style outcome goal is, will
help determine what you do andwhat I've been doing, so, okay.
So when I wash my hair um, youdon't have to I like to leave in
(09:11):
like a little leave-inconditioner.
Um, my hair salon is an Avedasalon, so I use primarily Aveda
products because that's whatthey have and that's what they
use.
So that's just kind of like themajority of what I have on hand
.
Um.
So this one is the Avedabotanical repair strengthening
leave in treatment.
Um, plant powered damage repair.
(09:31):
Um, I'm like low on this one.
Um, I like this one a lot.
Um, so you know, I'll come outof the shower, brush my hair, um
, and they say for curly hair,like you know, that's the only
time you ever brush it Brush myhair and you can put in.
And again, I think for like theleave-in conditioner, that's a
little personal preference oflike how much, you know you
(09:51):
don't have to do like fullcoverage, like you know, you can
kind of do just the ends or youcan kind of go all over or
trouble spots, but you don'tneed to like overly saturate
your hair.
I do have other types of likeleave-in conditioners that are
spray-based.
So I'll either use this one orthe spray one.
You know you can kind of dothat.
So after I do the leave-inconditioner is where I like to
(10:16):
use a little foam.
Again, this one is the AvedaNutraplenish.
It's saline treatment foam.
What I like about this one,it's not too hard and crunchy,
um, and even when I I like.
I use this even when I'm doingmy hair straight, cause it's
just like a nice again stylingfoam and it's um, it just gives
it nice body and structurewithout it being rigid.
(10:38):
Um, so, and it so it feelslight but powerful.
Um, so, it feels light butpowerful.
So this is where I'll do quitea few pumps of this and start to
do kind of like the scrunchingboth side to side, do majority
(10:58):
upside down, you know, head tocrown kind of thing.
So leave-in conditioner, thenmousse.
Again, you don't have to domousse, this is just a personal
preference.
So those are the kind ofstarting lineup.
Um, depending on the weather,weather has been wacky the last
couple weeks because we've had alot of rain.
Now we're moving into heat.
Um, I love this product.
(11:19):
This is the color.
Wow, dream Spray.
I'm reading straight from thebottle.
This is not an ad, this is notsponsored, any of it.
It's the Magically TransformedTexture, amazing Humidity,
proofing Powers.
So definitely on like rainydays is when I like to kind of
do like a spritz all over.
(11:40):
Again, this is one you want to.
You can go all over, just don'tgo heavy, because it's it's not
oil-based, but like I feel likeit can a little goes a long way
, right it's.
It's like one of those productsbecause it feels heavier than a
leave-in conditioner, becauseit is also like working to add
shine but also protect your hair.
So this is just an add-on asneeded.
(12:00):
Again, your, if you get, aremore prone to frizzy or things
in humid temperatures.
This could be your best frienddaily, just know your hair type
kind of thing.
So color wow is usually whenI'll do that.
Let's see Next.
Next Cream Okay, so the realnuts and bolts.
(12:22):
You can kind of get away withdoing hair stuff and with
literally basically just twoproducts, right, curl cream and
curl gel.
That's kind of like you canliterally boil it down to just
those two.
There's a lot of people thatargue that.
There's a lot of people argueall sides of it really doesn't
really matter.
It's not really even anargument Because it just goes
back to personal preferences.
But you always do curl creamfirst before gel and curl cream
(12:49):
and sometimes you might beperfectly fine doing just the
curl cream.
That's what I've beenexperimenting with lately is
using less gel, because I don'tknow that.
I loved the gel casting.
Again, I think I have more toplay with that.
Again, I don't have ringletcurls, but anyways.
So after I've done sorry, let mego back I keep running over
(13:12):
Leave in conditioner mousse,humidity as needed, Then this
one you still can brush again.
But now we're going to use ohsorry y'all Too many products.
This is what happens.
We are going to use a ton ofcurl cream Like you can use like
(13:32):
not a handful, but like I startwith like a big dollop right,
and I'll probably do at leasttwo of those, if not more, or
something like that.
And then this is where youstart to like heavily scrunch
right.
And this is where you start tolike heavily scrunch right and
some people actually even saylike douse your hair, like you
know, go all the way up to yourroots and fully like cut, make
(13:53):
sure your whole hair is coveredright.
Again, this is where I think itknow your hair type.
I think the curlier your hairis, the more true, that is like
the more tighter those curls.
Um, I feel like for me, lessproduct directly around here is
somewhat better, is where I tendto get a tad more oily and
things like that.
So, yeah, so you do a lot ofthe curl, you know, cream going
(14:19):
like this Again, lots of upsidedown, like literally, like
flipping your head and likescrunching up, and I do scrunch
and I, you know, even though Imight not bring the product
directly to my roots, I willscrunch and bring it like
literally all the way in anddoing, you know, lots of that,
lots of like this, but mainlylike to the side and while it's
(14:39):
bent over and things like that.
So once I feel kind ofsufficient with the curl cream,
you can leave it there, you canstop there, um, or you can
finish with a curl gel.
And there's so many people,there's so many different types
of gel.
Again, this is both of theseare not your mother's, um, this
is defining a curl talk creamand this is frizz control, curl
(15:03):
talk sculpting gel.
This one says firm, flexible,hold number three, so that's not
too bad.
Um, the curl gel cells saysmade with rice, curl complex,
whatever that is, um, but yeah,you can finish with a gel and
the goal of the gel is to helplock in, um, uh, this lock in
(15:25):
the style, lock in the curl, um,retain, you know, some of the
moisture, sealing those cuticles, sealing the hair, and to
prevent frizz.
Um, things like that.
And the biggest tip that I'velearned, regardless of whether
you end with gel or end withcream, whatever, once you have
put all your products in, stoptouching your hair, because I
(15:48):
feel like my mistake the firstcouple of weeks was that I would
just kind of it sort of feelsgood, you kind of just keep
going like this right and stoptouching your hair.
You need to basically like letthe products fully sit and I
feel like you kind ofself-induce, more of a
frizziness the more you keeptouching it because you need to
let the products just fully,like take root, literally, you
(16:13):
know, and you want them to fullydry.
You can again, after doing thegel, you can go in and hit it
with a diffuser.
Again, there's multipledifferent ways of how people
will use diffusers.
Some people will take thediffuser and kind of literally
go right on the hair or even allthe way up into the root and
kind of like again, kind ofgoing like this.
(16:33):
I have seen a lot of people dothis because they kind of want
to help lift your roots actuallyand dry this area so it doesn't
dry so kind of flat and stuckto your face.
But then a lot of other peoplesay that that can cause
frizziness because you kind ofreally are getting up in there
and you're kind of causing thehairs, um, and the ends to
potentially fray.
So some people will literallyjust go or take the humidifier
(16:57):
and ever so gently, maybethey're barely touching the hair
, but kind of just go around sothat they're kind of sending
heat to the area to help seal itwithout coming into too heavy
contact with the hair.
So again, a couple differentschools of thought.
Sometimes, again, it's trialand error, could, like that,
could also be tool dependent.
Um, I have um, it's an oldgeneration but it is a Dyson
(17:20):
hairdryer with a diffuserattachment.
Um, it's not the latest model,it's like five years old or
something like that.
Um, it is very powerful, whichI do like Um, but, um, the times
that I've trialed it recently,I mean I like using a diffuser,
it feels good and I feel likeinitially it looks good, but
then it's still the times thatI've done it, I feel like it
still looks a little frizzylater.
(17:40):
So again, I don't know ifthat's just the combo of
products I use that day, um, orwas it because the diffuser is
making, you know, like, kind oflike that's that side product of
like it's going to get a littlefrizzy because of kind of sort
of coming in contact with is ithow I styled it?
Is it, did I not?
(18:04):
Was I going in with thediffuser?
Was I going around?
I don't, I, I haven't doneenough trial and error, but I
know that that's probably not myfavorite way to style it, which
is okay Sometimes if you're ina pinch like it's great to do
that because that way you feellike you're not leaving the
house with wet hair.
At least it is dried and styled.
So there is that benefit.
Because I think sometimes whenyou have like curly, wet hair
and you're like, okay, like I, Iknow that I'm done, I know that
I'm polished, I know that I'mput together, but my hair looks
(18:25):
so wet so it's still just likegives a different persona to
yourself, right, and you're likeso again, pros and cons, you
know it's just, it's so.
Much of it goes back topersonal choice and what you're
going for that day.
So that's a diffuser, so sorry.
Jumping back to gel, so, like Isaid, I was mentioning that the
(18:46):
point of the gel is topotentially like cast your hair
and those that are doing itstraight from hair wash when
your hair is literally soakingwet and sorry, I didn't mention
this before, if that is yourroute.
They also say do not put yourhair in a towel, because the
towel, will you know, take isthe goal.
Like, once you flip your hairup in a towel, it's taking some
(19:08):
of the moisture out, um, thewetness.
You want your hair basicallystill soaking wet.
Um, because you want to yourhair, you're basically want your
hair to fully attach the sorry,you want your products to fully
attach to the hair in thatstate.
Um, because once it starts,once you start to towel dry it,
like even if you're not toweldrying it, but it's like you
throw up in the towel, you're um, it's gonna start acting like a
(19:30):
sponge immediately.
Um, so when I quickly realizedthat.
So when I got out of the shower,like I had to change my shower
routine.
Like when I got out of theshower, I I would start my, my,
my face, my skincare, likelotioning my body, and I was
like, oh, I have to like jump inand do my hair right away,
which felt very unnatural for meand I didn't love it.
But I was like here we are, youknow, um, so anyway, so then
(19:52):
you would still walk through thesame process and routine that I
said.
But you know, if you again, ifyou're ending with a gel, curl
gel, cream, gel, curl gel um,again, you can still use a lot
of this um, kind of like thecurl cream.
Um, your, the goal is to cast asmuch you know around the hair
(20:12):
um to really hold and seal it.
Um, because sometimes they sayif you don't use enough gel it
could still cause frizz.
Using too much gel obviouslywon't, it's just going to be
stiffer and harder.
Now, if you're like me andyou're like I don't like the
stiff, hard gel, look there arelots of other different types of
products and some other gelsand some other creams that can
(20:37):
give you that stronghold withoutthat hard, stiff gel look.
But here's what I'm also goingto say, um, without having
trialed all of them right, isthat you can break the gel, the
gel cast and this is what theysay, so it's like, but don't
touch your hair until it isfully dried and you can still um
, even with doing gel, you couldstill diffuse it.
(20:58):
Um, again, you can do the one ortwo options of whether you
actually go in with a diffuseror you kind of go around, but
for me lately, I primarily letit air dry.
So once I learned that Ishouldn't touch it, I just
wouldn't touch it.
I'd be wanting to, but Iwouldn't.
And then, once you know, take acouple hours, once it was like
fully dry, that's when I wouldlet my hands come back in.
(21:19):
You can either do it with yourhands or they say you can take,
uh, an old t-shirt or a towel.
That way you feel like you'renot getting your any residue or
dirtiness on your hands straightstraight to your hair.
So I've just done my hands, tobe honest, um, but in a perfect
world, right?
Um, so then you would just takeyour hands the same way and
just kind of gently try to breakit up, let it be a little
(21:49):
looser.
That way you feel like youdon't have that, like you know,
very hard crunchy.
Look to your hair and likethat's my favorite part, oh, I
can.
Finally, you know, let it loose, right, and?
And for some women, that's whenthey've achieved like peak
curly status and you see thosebeautiful ringlets like really
come to life because they'refinally kind of like breaking
free out of their cocoon.
Um, so, and, and that's, andthat's what helps them achieve
that beautiful curly lookwithout the frizz.
(22:11):
That's the ultimate goal.
Right, we're like.
We like we don't mind the curlyhair, we don't mind it being
wavy, we hate the frizz, we hatethe stuff that comes along with
it, right, um, and I say thatbeing like I totally half-assed
this today and I was like Idon't really care, I don't feel
like putting a whole lot ofeffort into it, um, but it's and
it's also refresh day.
So, like I said, all I did wasjust use a little bit of water,
(22:33):
a little bit of the leave-inproduct and a little bit of curl
gel.
Honestly, I didn't feel likedoing much more than that, and
the reality is like it to eachtheir own, right, you can do as
much or as little as you want.
Like who cares, right?
You know, I think for a while Iwas tempted.
I was trying to be likeprescriptive in the sense of
like, okay, I want to follow thesteps.
I want to like see how thislooks, see how this works, make
sure I'm kind of like doing realright or wrong, that's okay.
(23:00):
Um, but, um, I mean, what's beeninteresting for me, I feel like
, with this journey, is thatit's forced me to try different
hairstyles and see myself in adifferent way.
Like, obviously, every time Ilook in the mirror or look in
the camera, I'm like um, I'm notused to seeing myself with this
like texture hair.
(23:20):
I've just always had and alwaysstyled my hair straight
primarily, other than when Ilike curl it.
You know, again, I've alwaysseen like in the back of my hair
that I get those like littlelike ridges, and I was like I
definitely know it's wavy,because my hair will absolutely
hold a curl and if I air dry itit definitely drives like,
doesn't dry like this.
(23:40):
I do have to put product in tokind of really get it to like
come out like this, which is why, again, like it'll dry straight
, but a much looser wave, right.
So I'm scrunching it to kind ofhelp give it more wave
influence, wave fluence, if youmay.
So that's for a while, and sothat was one of the other things
(24:01):
.
Like when I started all this, Iwas like I kind of feel like a
little bit of an imposter herebecause I feel like I'm trying
too hard for this.
Um, and it's interestingbecause I feel like you see
these different schools ofthoughts, of like I don't know
if you're, if you're familiarwith the runner community.
But people like you know, ifyou like can put sneakers on,
like, and you can run like you.
Like you're a runner, you know,um, and you know that's meant
(24:21):
to be implied that anybody is arunner if you want to be and if
you want to go out and do itright and um, it doesn't matter
your pace, like you know, youdon't need to be a certain speed
to be a runner, right.
And I think the same thing kindof applies with, like, the curly
hair, like curly hair, wavyhair, whatever you know, there's
no right or wrong, there's nolike, oh, you're only curly.
(24:42):
If your hair naturally lookslike this when you walk out of
the shower, then I've seen theother side of the spectrum, I
swear.
There was like a commercial forsome product and the girl had
like, probably one tiny littlekink in her hair and like, wait,
like the girl, her friend saidto her hey, like you have wavy
hair, like you have this onething and I'm like that felt a
little bit of a stretch, butlike, again, I'll allow it again
(25:03):
, I'm not the hair police and Igenuinely don't care.
Um, like, you can do your hairhowever you want, that's fine,
um, same goes for me.
So, like I mean ironically Iknow I made a post a few weeks
ago.
It was like, uh, I celebratedfour weeks of curly hair by
going straight.
I was getting the itch becausewe went out to our staycation
(25:29):
and I was like we were going togo out to dinner and I was like
I'm really itching because Ihadn't seen my hair straight in
a while.
And you know what I did and Ifelt glorious.
It felt glorious.
My hair felt so good and youknow like, what was really nice
about that is because I couldtell my hair had really grown in
, like in about a month.
(25:49):
Yeah, my hair had really grownand it did feel really good
Because I hadn't put heat on itlike in a long time.
Not that I was putting Idefinitely don't use heat every
day, or, and I definitely don'tuse heat every day, or and I
definitely didn't do heat everyday, even when I was wearing it
straight.
But it definitely felt veryhealthy and felt very good, very
full, very thick, and I waslike, yeah, that's what's up,
(26:11):
you know.
So, in a way, I feel like thatkind of helped reinforce, like,
all right, let's keep doing this, because for when I even, when
I do, decided to, you know, doit straight again, like it's
it's good to have the time off,kind of thing.
Um, and let's see, I did wearit straight again this past week
(26:31):
, ironically because I had aworkshop and so I was like I
kind of want to be straight forthat, ironically, we had like
crazy rain and storms and Ishould have gone curly.
Um, I just didn't want to be,cause I was recording it and I
was like what would would I be,would I like to see myself from
recording with curly hair,straight hair.
I say that now like I'mobviously sitting here on the
(26:52):
podcast with curly hair, um, butI also didn't care.
Today I was like whatever, um,so it's, you know, like I said,
it's just a journey, it's anever-evolving journey and for me
, I'm still kind of like thisdoesn't mean that like, oh, all
of a sudden now I have to becurly every single day for the
rest of my life, like I love, Ilike that, I challenge myself to
(27:16):
do it for a month and I likethat.
Now that I'm on the other side,I feel like I've learned a lot
and I've also learned to embraceand accept myself in a
different way, which I think iskind of neat, kind of cool, like
I wasn't doing it.
For that reason and there wasplenty of days when I would look
in the mirror and be like, oh,I hate this, I hate what I see,
I'm so tired of it I'm like, oh,I just want, like you know, I
(27:38):
just want my straight hair.
I just want to like look andsee that.
Right, you know, because itdoes.
I think for many women likeblack or white or brown or
whatever you know, I think somuch of our self-identity and
confidence is tied to our hair,and I absolutely know that for
sure, and you know so.
(28:00):
That's where I think a lot ofthat discomfort comes from.
And yeah, so now that we'relike in the thick of the heat of
summer, I'm like, okay, I thinkI'm definitely going to do this
more, because it's like I was,like it's easier, first of all
and you know, is it worth medoing my hair straight when I'm?
When it's going to be so hotoutside, I'm probably going to
throw my hair up anyways.
(28:21):
So I'm interested to see ifI'll play around with more
different hairstyles.
Like I said, I felt like it wascute and kind of cool to see my
like you know, like clip my hairup in different ways and it
would, you know, having thetexture kind of gave me more
ability to like do differentthings and have it look a
different way.
So, like there was times when Ifeel like I could like have
like a little like front piecehere and I'm like, oh, that
(28:42):
looks so cute and I couldn't dothat was true, I could.
It just felt like my hair waslike thinner or not exactly oily
, but it wouldn't stay, but thecurly would, and I'm like all
right.
So, um, like I said, I don'tknow what's yet to come, um, but
that's kind of where I'm atright now and I think it's just
(29:02):
like the perfect life lesson,too, of not everything is finite
, not everything has to be blackand white one way or the other.
Like let's enjoy the and let'senjoy the.
You can have curly hair andstraight hair.
Let's enjoy the.
You can have curly hair andstraight hair.
You know you can have.
(29:22):
I don't have another goodexample, but I do think that
whole point of like you know,living in the and like.
I feel like I do struggle withthat with many things in my life
.
So that's what I feel like thispersonal self-experiment almost
was for me Let me force myselfto see if I can do was for me.
It's like let let me forcemyself to see, see if I can do
this, see, see what it's like.
And you know, um, like I said,I found myself on Pinterest a
(29:44):
lot.
I found myself on Tik TOK a lot,even on chat, and I was like,
can you help me make sense ofthis?
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,um.
And then I was like, wait, chat, you're wrong.
And I needed to fact checkCurly Girl Method.
You know what I mean.
A lot of back and forth.
But yeah, here's to living inthe and here's to you know,
curly hair, wavy hair, straighthair, natural hair, whatever
(30:09):
hair you do have, whateverproducts you do use, let me know
if you found this helpful.
Products you do use, um, let meknow if you found this helpful,
um, or if you want to hear morestuff like this, whether it's,
you know, hair, or skincare ormakeup, or I don't know um.
I'm always looking for umtopics that you might be
(30:29):
interested in, um as it relatesto my personal experience, or
things that I can talk on.
Again, this was, this was in noway, uh, sponsored by these
products.
Just, oh, actually, sorry,before I finally wrap, I forgot
I had one other thing hidingback here.
Um, my hair.
When I got my haircut she, whichI kind of thought was neat, and
I've done this a little bitthis is like I don't know what
you call it Pick home, um, I'm.
(30:53):
So this is how freaking white Iam.
Um, a pick, comb, a comb, apick.
Oh my god, I sound so stupid.
Okay, um, so once she did itright, she cut like and I saw
I've seen other creators sort ofdo this it kind of you can kind
of like put it in your hair andalmost like pick it up.
You can kind of like leave itthere, wait, I have to see this,
(31:14):
wait, I have to see this.
So the idea is that it's tryingto give you kind of volume and
you can kind of leave it thereas your hair is drying, to set.
And again, the goal is tryingto like lift the roots, or you
could do this to like keep kindof lifting the roots, like that.
(31:36):
That way you feel likeeverything doesn't dry like
straight on your head, straighton your scalp.
So, um, again, it's multifaceted.
However you but I love that Igot a little bit more of a bump
right there.
That made me happy.
Um, oh, my gosh, um.
So, anyway, sorry, that wasjust my other like little tool
(31:56):
product for you.
So, anyways, any other topicrecommendations that you have,
if you found this helpful orinteresting, um, let me know.
But, um, we will also be, uh,in our show notes.
We'll definitely be in, um, uh,show notes slash blog, be
linking all the products herefor you for you to check out, um
(32:22):
, and yeah, so, um, I guess, ifyou have a curly girlfriend,
give her a hug and let her knowthat it's that you got beautiful
hair, no matter, no matterwhich way it is.
And for those girls, for thegirls that may be straight in
their hair, trying to hide theircurly hair, reality is like, I
don't have a perfect message foryou, because I know that I
haven't walked that life, um,and I know that that's a very
multifaceted thing, um, so, youknow, I feel like I was about to
say, like you know, let yourcurl free.
(32:42):
And I was like I feel likethat's almost not my thing, my
phrase to be able to say,because, again, I feel like it's
not the life that I've lived.
But, um, I feel like I can sayhere's to embracing your natural
hair, however it may be.
And if you do have curly hairbut you love styling it a
(33:03):
certain way, so be it.
Who cares?
Who cares?
Make yourself happy.
You know what I mean?
I mean, surely there'sobviously something nice to
leaning into your natural hair,so we're not putting not putting
, say, as many products in it oras much heat damage, etc.
Etc.
But again, sometimes one way orthe other is harder.
You know what I mean.
Like I had someone tell me thatlike they're like oh, I just
(33:25):
straighten my hair because it'sso much easier.
Like doing curly, like all theproducts and the steps and the
method was just, it was just somuch easier to maintain it
straight, and I was like likeyou know what that makes so much
sense?
Also, my problem is I can seethings any which way and this is
why I struggle with makingdecisions.
So, anyways, here's to hair,here's to loving your hair,
(33:48):
here's to loving yourself, andI'll catch you next time.
Thanks for tuning in to thisepisode of Mom Talk Maryland.
If you loved it, leave a review, share it with a friend or
@the.
columbiamom on Instagram.
I'd love to hear what you thinkand don't forget to follow the
show so you never miss anepisode.
Until next time, keep showingup, keep supporting local and
(34:14):
keep being the incredible mom,woman, human that you are.
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