June 25, 2025 • 30 mins
Remember when making friends was as simple as sharing your fruit snacks at recess? Motherhood changes everything about our social connections, creating both new challenges and unexpected opportunities for deeper relationships.
This candid conversation dives into the delicate balancing act of nurturing friendships while juggling family responsibilities. Claire opens up about being what she hilariously calls a "friend slut" - someone who falls fast into new connections, overshares immediately, and builds intense relationships quickly. Meanwhile, her co-host, Jill, offers the perspective of someone more selective with her friendship energy, valuing quality over quantity in her relationships.
Together, they explore how friendships naturally evolve through different seasons of motherhood. Some relationships are meant for specific periods of your life, while others surprisingly endure despite distance and changing circumstances. The women share personal strategies for maintaining connections when life gets chaotic - from daily meme exchanges that substitute for regular conversations to meaningful mom dates at local spots like Dok Khao or Annapolis tiki boats.
What makes this conversation particularly refreshing is its honesty about friendship challenges many mothers silently face. How do you reconnect with pre-baby friends who don't understand your new reality? When should you invest energy in school parent relationships? And how do you overcome the isolation that often accompanies relocating with young children?
Whether you're an extrovert craving social connection or an introvert carefully cultivating a small circle, this episode offers valuable insights on building a supportive community that enhances rather than depletes your energy as a mother. Because at the end of the day, we all need that friend who would help us "bury a body" (figuratively speaking!) without asking questions.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey friends and welcome to MomTalk, maryland.
I'm your host, claire Duarte,founder of the Columbia Mom, and
this is your spot for realconversations, local love and a
whole lot of community.
Whether you're folding laundry,running errands or hiding in
your car for some peace andquiet, let's dive in.
So today we're talking aboutmotherhood and friendship.
(00:21):
Something that I feel like isone of the things that's like
not exactly talked about but notin like in the taboo way that's
not talked about.
It's just me, like, becausewe're so busy in motherhood,
it's just one of those thingsthat feel like we don't have
time for because our kids andour families obviously come
first.
We're in this new season oflife so it's like how do you
(00:41):
maintain either old friendships,um friendships that you kind of
had from potentially end ofcollege or before all of that?
Um, you know your young adultspan, um, you know your kind of
single days or your couple daysto you know, uh, then once you
start having kids, cause thenyou start like introducing lots
(01:01):
of other new relationships like,um parents and friends from
your kids school or work, um, oryour new neighborhood where you
live, right, it becomes a wholebig mix and, um, you know, I
think a lot of times I feel likeone of the easiest ways we
start to meet mom friends, it'slike you know, from, uh, kids
that are around the same age, um, maybe you know, for any of
(01:24):
those that have kind of been inthe stay-at-home mom sphere,
sometimes that feels easier kindof, because you have a little
bit more time to connect and domeetups here or there.
But yeah, so I kind of figurelike this is a perfect kind of
segue to talk about it, I think,for me.
I mean, I'll start just bysharing sort of my personal
experience, like I know that I'msuper extroverted, but again,
(01:45):
when we moved here in 2019,brooke was six months old.
I had another full, a full-timejob then that I was partially
working from home but likeworking outside of the house.
We had just moved to Columbia,so I didn't really know too many
people here, so I definitelydidn't really do a lot of like
friend meetups in in Colombia atthe time and like the
(02:07):
girlfriends that I did have werefrom college and they were all
spread out or they were still inthe city, uh, and maybe they
hadn't had babies yet, orsomething like that.
So it's kind of just that.
You know, interesting part oflife, yeah, um now, obviously
COVID didn't make any of thateasier naturally, and I feel
like during that part of my lifeis where I started probably
(02:29):
leaning into a lot of likesocial relationships.
Like there was like women andmom that I started to meet
online, like via Instagram, likekind of hinting at a little bit
of my origin story there.
But that is you know how.
I kind of got into more socialmedia stuff.
But there were like women I'dnever met before and but they
(02:49):
were also doing similar likeinfluencer things and we had
like a really close pod for awhile and then, but now fast
forwarding to kind of likecoming out of COVID now I know
that more of like my cityfriends have moved to the county
and then like, obviously, sincestarting this platform me being
very extroverted I know that Imay be a little bit of a unicorn
in that regard like I feel likeI don't have trouble making
(03:11):
friends and I love to go out anddo that.
My kids are also not babiesanymore, so I have a little bit
more of that time to be able togo out and do things, um, but it
is still challenging to fit inall like the things that you
want, and how do you balance andmaintain those friendships?
You?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
know, yeah, I always say like I am very fortunate.
I mean, you also are born andyou have sisters and brothers,
so you have like a built-infriendship.
I have a brother and sister, butI also have a bunch of cousins
and girl cousins that were superclose.
So I kind of grew up with likemy friends, but also my family
are my best friends too, um, butyou know I'm I always say it
(03:54):
probably will come off bad, butin this part of my life,
especially moving to Maryland, Ididn't know a soul when, I
moved to the DMV area.
Oh for sure, and I just kind ofwas like I'm going to wing it
and do my thing.
I am at a point in life where,like I'm going to work hard at a
(04:15):
friendship that is meaningfuland impactful and going to make
me a better person.
Oh yeah, there's a lot ofpeople I come across and I'm
cordial with and friendly with,and it's awesome.
I love having people around meand I'm also very extroverted,
but, um, I'm very mindful of whoI put my energy into.
(04:40):
Um, if someone at this stage isgoing to like give me grief
about anything, I'm not, I'm nothere for it, oh yeah, um, I'm
not going to be made to feelguilty at this point.
Um, as I tell my husband, whenI'm talking about this world of
friendships, I have my cousins.
(05:01):
I still have my best friendsfrom elementary school.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Which is rare.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
I think that's super rare, yeah, and we have a group
text and I actually woke up thismorning like, oh, our text has
been quiet for like two days andthat's like weird for us, like
we are constantly texting.
But I know we're all busy, yeah, um, I have a best friend.
You know, I have best friendsfrom college.
I was fortunate to go tocollege with my cousin, so again
(05:29):
, we have that built in bestfriendship.
And then you know my bestfriend from like after college,
um, I have these people in mylife that fulfill me so much
that at this point people comingin are like extra bonuses.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Yeah, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Um, I always say, like our team here in the
Columbia mom, I mean, what arethe chances that we would all
connect so quickly?
And we all had COVID babies,and not only COVID babies,
they're all boys.
So we have that connection,uh-huh, um.
You know the people I've becomeclose with here since,
especially like living in HowardCounty.
(06:07):
They give me a purpose, theystand by me, they help me out.
So I think that's the balancingact in this season of life, of
finding true friendships thatadd to your plate yes, that
aren't going to take away fromyour plate or make you feel bad
(06:28):
about something, right, I wasjoking with a friend of mine and
I was like, yeah, I textedso-and-so, asking a question,
and I found out that that personwas like who's this?
5'8?
number I was like, okay, maybewe were cool, but I was like,
(06:49):
okay, we were not friends.
Yeah, like friend friends.
Yeah, does that make sense?
Like, but it was like a funnymoment and didn't upset me at
all.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
I was was like okay, I know where we stand.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
We're cool.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
But like that's, that's how it is Right, If that
makes sense, Like and I know meliving being a transplant,
especially in Howard County,where it's like so tight knit
and so many people are from thisarea.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
I feel like an outsider a lot, that I couldn't
wait for my kids to go to school.
Oh, yeah, I was like I can'twait for my kids to go to school
.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Not saying that these moms are gonna become my best
friends and a lot of them becomeclose friends?
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Yeah, but just to have like a new community.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Yeah, and I think community is a strong word there
because, like I, um, I look atmy parents right and like I know
, funny enough, they just gotback from Germany.
They were a little there forlike 10 days and it was with my
funny my mom's name's Sharon andher friend and her other like
one of her longest friends, thiswoman, sharon, and um'm like
(08:00):
the last two Sharons left in theUS right.
And I don't remember no, they'renot college friends, but I
think maybe from their first jobor something like 40-plus years
ago.
And now that they're, you know,all of their kids are grown,
you know, out of the house.
I feel like I've heard her talkabout, you know, hanging out
with them more and more and Iwas like that's really awesome
(08:22):
Again, the power of friendship,right.
But kind of bringing it back tothe last one, talking about
like community, you know, I dothink we go through life, we go
through different stages, we gothrough different seasons.
I fully believe that somefriendships, some relationships
and people you meet aresometimes, you know, made for a
(08:42):
season of life and sometimesthat season is really long,
sometimes it's really short.
You know you think about, likedifferent work, friends or
people that you've kind ofinteracted and you know in
different roles.
Like you know they're not likecause, they're not in my life
forever, but they there arepeople like, for instance, like
when I got married, there werepeople at my wedding that I
haven't seen since because theywere sort of tied to the job
that I had at the time, but atthe time I was very close with
(09:03):
them.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
No harm, no foul.
You know what I mean.
Like that was just a differentseason of my life.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
And that's okay, you know what I mean.
But, like you know, yeah, Iremember thinking like my
college friends were like all mysorority girls and we were all,
of course, so close and we arewe still like to get together.
We're all kind of spread out,we're all like, luckily, like
you know, in the DMV, but we're,I mean I have a few that are
closer, but like I mean, I likemy best friend from college is
(09:33):
also my sorority, who literallyI'm seeing tomorrow, for her
birthday, you know um, like youknow she's the person.
I know that, like we can telleach other like everything, talk
about everything.
Nothing's off the table youknow what I mean, and our
husbands are really good friends, our kids get along really well
, like you know, all of that umand you know.
And then I have all theseseries of friends from, like the
(09:55):
girls that I've kind of met.
You know whether they're aseries of mom friends, whether
it's kind of just from theColombian mom connections, like
I made literally some of my bestfriends because of starting
this platform and again I dofeel like a little bit of a
unicorn.
I know you're really extroverted, yeah, but um, a lot of my
friend group is kind of likehalf and half, and so it's kind
of opened my eye to theintrovert side of life even
(10:19):
though we are not introverts.
I've grown to understand it alittle bit more, because I
realize that is a big challengefor a lot of women.
But the reality is, I think,the introverts it's not that
they struggle to make friends,it's just different because
they're fueled and orienteddifferently.
You know, like they areperfectly okay to live inside
their home, see their husband,see their kind of context, and
(10:41):
keep their circle small, andthere's nothing wrong with that.
Yeah, whereas, like for me, Icast a super wide net and, to be
honest, something I struggledwith in my 30s, now I could say
in my 30s, now that I'mapproaching the, the upper end
of that, being 40, is awesome.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Exactly Well.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I was going to say, like I am a friend slut.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
I'm a friend slut.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
It's the extrovert.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
I don't think I've ever heard that term before no,
and so let me explain.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
I become friends very quickly.
I will slide into your DMs veryfast, I will text you very fast
, I'll bring that boundary allthe way down and overshare and
um, you know, for better, forworse, that is.
Um, that is my advice infriendships and I mean I have
(11:31):
learned some, you know lessonsover.
You know, like I said in mythirties, where that did come
back to bite me and you knowrealizing like, okay, I do need
to be smarter about boundaries,um, because that's just kind of
like who I am.
You know I again it wasprobably the ADD in me, like the
oversharing and whatever.
(11:52):
But yeah, I'm a little bit of afriend, but like I get excited,
I fall in love quickly it's allthe air, the Aries in me.
I fall in love very quickly.
I'm very passionate, very fiery, so those kind of elements,
those same elements I noticedcome into my friendship.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Yeah, and I get it, and I think like my um one of my
best friends, um, who weconnected in my teaching
lifetime.
Um, you know, I actually youbrought up the season and the
reason.
I actually, for her wedding,for my maid of honor speech, I
(12:24):
even said you know people comein we always say our quote is a
reason, a season and a lifetime.
And like I quoted it and youknow we always say, like there
was, we kind of surpassed all ofthem, like there was a reason
we came into each other's life,mm-hmm, you were, you know, in a
season of teaching brand newteachers, first-time teachers.
(12:48):
We went through a lot together.
But you know, she's still inNew York.
I'm here and we talk every dayand it's one of those like we
don't have to be like hey,what's up, it's just like I need
a bet or like a random, likewhat do you think of this shoe?
Like our, our conversations arenever like high by because
(13:10):
they're kind of always goingyeah, right, um.
And I think that somefriendships, like you said, your
sorority sisters, like I knowfor me I played volleyball in
college which is basically asorority right, and like I don't
talk to those girls all thetime.
But you know, one girl textedme the other day.
She's like we're going campingdown.
By your way.
(13:30):
Give me some ideas.
Like I think you go throughperiods of your life and you
experience things together thatjust will bond you, no matter
what.
Oh, absolutely, and like thenyou kind of go from there and
they come in and out, but likeyou probably could see the
person tomorrow, oh yeah, andit's like no time has passed
right.
Oh yeah, um, so I think that'salso that balancing act.
(13:52):
You said you're a friend slut.
You've learned your lessons.
I know some of the lessonsyou've learned with like opening
up too quickly, yeah, um, but Ithink that's where I'm like as
extroverted as I am and I lovehaving people around me.
That's where I'm almost guarded, where, like, it takes me time
to realize to see if we're, arewe gonna be?
Are we gonna be this?
(14:13):
Because I am like before westarted today.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
I even was like this might be TMI, like we've been
working together like you don'tseem like a very boundary heavy
person from what I know.
Yeah, but September right?
Speaker 2 (14:28):
you know, it kind of took me till May to finally be
like.
I have a TMI question for youthat reality is.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
You could have asked me this September 2nd, probably
yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
But I think that's where, like, I kind of have to
gauge, because I can be a waytoo open book about things.
Oh, me too I love to talk aboutanything and everything, right,
but I have to figure out ifthat person I'm talking to is
the same way.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Right, because I don't want to scare someone,
right, well, and my problem is,I'm not necessarily worried if
the person is the same way.
It's where I again talk aboutthe lessons learned of, like is
that person going to be a keeperof whatever information I share
, or are they going to?
It's not just about it's notbecause what I shared is a
(15:13):
secret, right, it's just arethey valuable and important
enough in my life that I shared?
I don't know heavy, importantor just really relevant personal
stuff?
that like, oh, like I don't needto tell just anybody that and
those are the lessons that I'vehad to learn in friendship in my
30s, um, and being a mom,because and again.
(15:34):
Really not everybody isprobably the friend slut that I
am.
I just and I don't know, maybeit's also part of fuel of like,
you know, when I get to be outand like away from my kids,
maybe I'm just like so effingexcited.
Like another human we get totalk and like have drinks and go
out, so that element like fuelsit a little bit more for me.
But, um, I mean I I love that areason, a season and a lifetime
(15:59):
and I definitely I do thinkit's rare, you know, to have
those friendships from like whenyou were a kid and from that
longevity.
But I do think that's sobeautiful and amazing.
I mean, like I am stillobviously friends with a girl
that was like my childhood bestfriend.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
But, like she, lives in California.
We have completely differentlives you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
But like when we see each other, I mean she's what I
would call my oldest friend.
Yeah, we don't text regularlywhatsoever.
You know what?
I still call her a friend.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Yeah, but it's different.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
And again, just Different thing.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yeah, no, I'm very fortunate, like even you said,
about your wedding.
I think, like I can, off thetop of my head, think of two
people that were at my weddingthat I don't really speak to
anymore and that's because theywere husbands and not
ex-husbands or like an ex, butlike I think, between who we
(16:58):
invited and it might have beenbecause I got married at 29, so
it was a little later in my lifewhere I've been able to like a
little later um 28.
Yeah, I mean.
So I don't know if it's like,but yeah yeah yeah, and also by
that point I had moved toMaryland, so I had like a couple
years of like I'm down here,all my life is in New York.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Who am.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
I super close with who do I talk to all the time?
And that definitely, I think,played into who was invited.
But I mean it takes like justtalking more like about those
friends that aren't here, andeven the friends that are here,
like that mom guilt.
Do you feel like even with yourfriends here in Maryland, in
(17:46):
Howard County, do you experiencethat like mom guilt if you're
not like able to make time forthem?
And how do you go about likecarving out that time between
work priorities, familypriorities?
Or is it just like, oh, yourbest friend, you'll see at
school pickup and a birthday?
party right that kind of checksthe box.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
I think, for me, I definitely don't feel any mom
guilt, because I don't think Idon't think we should like in
that regard.
I think, like if my mom hassaid it too, it's like you know,
your friendships in lifeshouldn't, you know, be bringing
you drama.
You know they should be addingto your life, you know.
So I definitely don't feel anylike mom guilt towards my
(18:31):
friendship, because to me it'sassumed mm assumed you know what
I mean.
Like I, if you're not reachingout, I don't have any pain,
sadness or frustration.
And vice versa, like I, Iassume the best, yeah, I assume
the best in people.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
All you know, always you know what I mean, um, so
therefore, I'm not going to feelguilty if I'm not able to you
know, because I know, as soon asI reach out, I know it's going
to be a big flurry of like, ohmy.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
God I miss you.
Blah, blah, blah blah.
But like one thing sort of inthe same-ish line of like.
It is kind of like a little bitof mix of, I wouldn't say, the
mom guilt, but like you know howmuch effort I put in versus
like friends love the thing that.
I mentioned, and one thing Ihave personally have tried to be
(19:22):
a little bit mindful of myselfis because I do get really
excited when I meet and connectpeople, and I will do the thing
where, like I will, almost likelove, bomb you because I get
really excited and you know, andtext, and I am the kind of
person that I would text withsomebody every single day
because that's just like how I'moriented.
basically I would text withsomebody every single day
because that's just like how I'moriented.
But if I I I have, because ofyou know, some of these
experiences in my 30s, I havetried to like be like hey,
claire, step back, like how muchis the other person putting
(19:45):
into it?
Not that I'm like again notinserting mom guilt, but of like
recognizing again that I fallhard, yeah, and that just we're
trying to like going back to thevery first things we said of
like if I notice that I'mconsistently like putting in
more effort, do I want to keepgoing at that level because I
(20:06):
like I just not everybody andnot that I think that people
need to meet me at that levelbecause I realize I'm very extra
in that regard.
Sometimes I just I'm going toride that wave and I just need
to kind of come down to a littlebit more of a medium spot, and
even if that next medium spotstill may be above most of my
friendships.
But that's okay, it's just likeyou know.
If I'm consistently too high ortoo low, okay, I don't need to
(20:29):
be texting this person every dayor blowing them up whatever.
Let me meet that energy thatthey're putting in, because I
think that's only kind of fair.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
I say that in like the complete love you know, and
I think something else like whatI experience is you know we're
extroverted, but like I alsowant to help mm-hmm I you know,
I know I have a problem sayingno to things.
Oh god, right, and when?
Um, I don't have that much of aproblem being like no, I can't
go out because of life, but likeyeah, no, and helping someone
(21:01):
out.
And I think that, um, that'swhere sometimes I feel like, oh,
I'm putting a lot of effortinto helping someone and maybe
I'm not receiving that.
But I've found also in thisseason of life and managing like
these friendships with you know, school relationships and
(21:23):
everything like I've definitelynoticed it's all like I might be
putting in this much yeah, amonth two and then they put in
this much for month three andthere's a balancing act and that
I think also helps me, like,sustain me, like, yeah, okay I
might be doing a lot right now,but I know that person's going
to have my back next week when Ineed that extra help.
(21:44):
And I think that's part of this,like mom world and navigating
friendships right now too, isthat we all like need those
parents to help us out.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Do pick up, pick up absolutely school uniforms,
anything like the random texts.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
I send to people I'm like who has a size eight skirt
I can borrow for a week becausethere's no school?
Yeah right, you know.
So I think there is that aspecttoo and I mean it's hard, I
think, for me.
Like I said in the beginning, Icouldn't wait for Emily, my
oldest, to start school, becausethen I knew I would like have a
(22:20):
built-in community not saying Ineed to be best friends with
all of Emily's friends, parents,but it's still this nice
community to have that they'regoing to have our families back
and vice versa, so do you haveyou know.
With that said, do you have anytips?
I know we got to wrap up soonbut do you have any tips for
like, especially new moms,navigating this like world of I
(22:43):
have a child and a husband or awife or a significant other
person in my life that.
I need to balance out with thesefriendships right or finding
friends.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
I think my biggest tip is just be open.
It's just be open, open to newexperiences, open to new people,
you know, because we all needcommunity, we all need
friendships, and I think youknow whether you're an introvert
or extrovert, you know.
Just put yourself out there,you know, challenge yourself.
(23:13):
I'm not saying that you need tobring more people into your
circle like it's nothing,there's nothing wrong with the
circle you have.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
It doesn't need to be added to.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
But there is an important element of like don't
neglect the people that you loveand care for, even if that
means you only see them a fewevery few months, like that's
okay, but just be open to thosenew experiences and open to
valuing yourself enough to thatyou are important enough as a
mom that you need that time withyour friendships outside of
(23:42):
your kids, your husband and yourfamily yeah, and I think too,
for like the, you know somethingthat weighs on my head.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Sometimes I'm like, oh, I haven't talked to this
person in a while, like oh, Ishould reach out.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
I think that's where my mom.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Guilt comes from, sure, I know like my advice is
just send that person the textor send them, you know, respond
to their Instagram story,anything like that, cause I know
like when I hear from friendsthat I haven't heard from in a
while and no fault to anybody,it's just life.
I'm like, oh my God, I'm sohappy they reached out Like that
made my day and I think it'sjust like ripping that band-aid
(24:17):
off, and going with it right.
And then, just to close out,let's lighten it up a little bit
yeah, yeah okay, and um, I knowI didn't prep you for this, so
it's fine, it's fine, it's fine,um, all right.
So what is the most ridiculoustext you've sent a friend
recently?
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Oh goodness.
Well, this week's been a weirdweek.
I mean just saying like oh God,I can't have dairy for a whole
week.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
So that has been.
That's obviously not ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Let me put it this way I have, um a friend that I
think we have many of them,where I have literally not seen
her in months, and I'm talkinglike over six months, um, we
haven't talked on the phone, butI like love her to death, um,
and we send each other minimumof one to five memes a day and
that is the sustenance of ourrelationship and it is like it's
(25:17):
the kind of thing that, likeyou don't want to look under the
hood because it is some, yeah,insane shit in there.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
I know I have my um, the, my friend, who I said the
reason to seize in a lifetime.
Yeah, I mean, like I said, likethere's no high buys in our
conversations because it's justconstantly going, and I'm sure,
like if I asked her, like whatis the amount of ridiculousness
of text?
that we send each other.
I mean, it's scary sometimes,yes, the topics we dive into and
(25:48):
say mm-hmm, although I think tobe.
I did do a screenshot.
This might have been moreridiculous.
I did do a screenshot shot of,you know, vibrators that are in
sale to well, you know, myfriends that I know we were just
talking about.
I was like screenshot this.
I'm like don't let your kidssee this.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
That's right market research.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
You know people need to know, like who's buying at a
discount and telling us how ithow it works right, gotta
disseminate the informationthat's why we're in marketing
folks, we can't gatekeep.
Alright and then let's see whowould you call if, figuratively,
you needed to bury a body.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
Oh, I know, oh, I would definitely call my friend
Monica.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Okay, I mean, based on what I know of Monica, I can
totally see that I might have toalso call her.
Yeah, I don't even really knowher.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Oh yeah, I would call Monica, not because she's like
the most savage person, but justoh, I would call Monica, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
I would.
I don't know, I don't like, Idon't even know how to fully put
it into words yeah, I would.
I don't know, I don't like Idon't even know how to fully put
it into words.
Yeah, I would call my cousinswho are like my best friends, so
Jesse, laura and Liz and mysister Amy, probably because you
know family.
First, they're not going towrite you out and secondly, if I
(27:14):
called them and I was like thisis happening, pitchforks ready,
would be ready to yeah, oh,yeah, going and yeah ask zero,
that's, that's exactly what Iknow of my friend, like no
questions asked she would rollup, like no guilt, like
(27:37):
everything.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
So true, and to Wrap it up a little bow, what would
what is your best like mom,friend date idea, or one that
you've done recently.
I know you've been doing a lotof fun things.
I know I do.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
We do a lot of fun things um, I mean, actually I'm
going on one tomorrow with mygirlfriend for her birthday.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Um, she actually wants to get a piercing.
I'm not but cartilage orsomething like that and we'll do
like coffee.
I mean locally, like one of myfavorite dates that I did with a
girlfriend that I have done acouple times is like getting
drinks at Docow and getting foodthere, because, one, their
cocktails are so freaking good.
It's like so Instagram kind oflike cocktails are so freaking
(28:17):
good.
It's like so instagram kind oflike worthy and cute and it's
fun like any time of year.
It's great during the winter,it's obviously great during the
summer, so you can hang out likein the park.
Um, I've also done that beforegoing to a concert like I, I
just love that as a girlfriendspot for sure.
Um, and then I meanalternatively, last year we did
like a girls outing this liketiki boat in downtown.
(28:41):
Annapolis.
So we went to Chop Tank for ahappy hour before.
And then we all went out on thetiki boat and had like music
and drinks and like that wassuper fun.
Oh, the weather was goodtomorrow, and Hannah and I had
tomorrow's supposed to be rainy,so it wouldn't be fun for
Annapolis, but we will make do.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
No, that sounds awesome.
I mean, just a couple weeks agowe did like the girls night at
my friend's new place and thenwe walked over to Stain Glass
Pub, our local watering hole.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
And I felt like I was in college again, because it
had dropped, like significantamount of degrees.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Oh god, from the start of it to like us going
over there at 10 o'clock so Ifelt like in college, I was like
shivering.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Oh yeah, but like.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
but like it was just you know, myself and my two
girlfriends like we just got tolike hang out, have a drink,
like it wasn't even anythingspecial, but we just like.
We're like we haven't sat downwith three of us and I think
that's what it is.
It's like, no matter whatyou're doing, it's who you're
around, who you trust, who youcan have an open conversation
with, and like not be holdingback.
And I think that's my big thingis, I have to hold back with
(29:48):
someone, like fully hold back.
Yeah, I'm like we're gonna,we're gonna be good friends, but
that deep dive right, it's allabout the deep guy, all right
right folks.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Well, on that note, well, this is the perfect note,
because we'll just keep swimmingour way through summer.
So well, cheers to friendship,cheers to reasons, seasons and
lifetime, no matter where youare in your life, in your own
season, but here's to valuingmotherhood and friendships.
Yeah, yes, thanks for tuninginto this episode of MomTalk
Maryland.
If you loved it, leave a review, share it with a friend, or tag
(30:24):
me at thecolumbiamom onInstagram.
I'd love to hear what you thinkand don't forget to follow the
show so you never miss anepisode.
Until next time, keep showingup, keep supporting local and
keep being the incredible mom,woman, human that you are.
Hey friends and welcome to MomTalk, maryland.
I'm your host, claire Duarte,founder of the Columbia Mom, and
this is your spot for realconversations, local love and a
whole lot of community.
Whether you're folding laundry,running errands or hiding in
your car for some peace andquiet, let's dive in.
So today we're talking aboutmotherhood and friendship.
(00:21):
Something that I feel like isone of the things that's like
not exactly talked about but notin like in the taboo way that's
not talked about.
It's just me, like, becausewe're so busy in motherhood,
it's just one of those thingsthat feel like we don't have
time for because our kids andour families obviously come
first.
We're in this new season oflife so it's like how do you
(00:41):
maintain either old friendships,um friendships that you kind of
had from potentially end ofcollege or before all of that?
Um, you know your young adultspan, um, you know your kind of
single days or your couple daysto you know, uh, then once you
start having kids, cause thenyou start like introducing lots
(01:01):
of other new relationships like,um parents and friends from
your kids school or work, um, oryour new neighborhood where you
live, right, it becomes a wholebig mix and, um, you know, I
think a lot of times I feel likeone of the easiest ways we
start to meet mom friends, it'slike you know, from, uh, kids
that are around the same age, um, maybe you know, for any of
(01:24):
those that have kind of been inthe stay-at-home mom sphere,
sometimes that feels easier kindof, because you have a little
bit more time to connect and domeetups here or there.
But yeah, so I kind of figurelike this is a perfect kind of
segue to talk about it, I think,for me.
I mean, I'll start just bysharing sort of my personal
experience, like I know that I'msuper extroverted, but again,
(01:45):
when we moved here in 2019,brooke was six months old.
I had another full, a full-timejob then that I was partially
working from home but likeworking outside of the house.
We had just moved to Columbia,so I didn't really know too many
people here, so I definitelydidn't really do a lot of like
friend meetups in in Colombia atthe time and like the
(02:07):
girlfriends that I did have werefrom college and they were all
spread out or they were still inthe city, uh, and maybe they
hadn't had babies yet, orsomething like that.
So it's kind of just that.
You know, interesting part oflife, yeah, um now, obviously
COVID didn't make any of thateasier naturally, and I feel
like during that part of my lifeis where I started probably
(02:29):
leaning into a lot of likesocial relationships.
Like there was like women andmom that I started to meet
online, like via Instagram, likekind of hinting at a little bit
of my origin story there.
But that is you know how.
I kind of got into more socialmedia stuff.
But there were like women I'dnever met before and but they
(02:49):
were also doing similar likeinfluencer things and we had
like a really close pod for awhile and then, but now fast
forwarding to kind of likecoming out of COVID now I know
that more of like my cityfriends have moved to the county
and then like, obviously, sincestarting this platform me being
very extroverted I know that Imay be a little bit of a unicorn
in that regard like I feel likeI don't have trouble making
(03:11):
friends and I love to go out anddo that.
My kids are also not babiesanymore, so I have a little bit
more of that time to be able togo out and do things, um, but it
is still challenging to fit inall like the things that you
want, and how do you balance andmaintain those friendships?
You?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
know, yeah, I always say like I am very fortunate.
I mean, you also are born andyou have sisters and brothers,
so you have like a built-infriendship.
I have a brother and sister, butI also have a bunch of cousins
and girl cousins that were superclose.
So I kind of grew up with likemy friends, but also my family
are my best friends too, um, butyou know I'm I always say it
(03:54):
probably will come off bad, butin this part of my life,
especially moving to Maryland, Ididn't know a soul when, I
moved to the DMV area.
Oh for sure, and I just kind ofwas like I'm going to wing it
and do my thing.
I am at a point in life where,like I'm going to work hard at a
(04:15):
friendship that is meaningfuland impactful and going to make
me a better person.
Oh yeah, there's a lot ofpeople I come across and I'm
cordial with and friendly with,and it's awesome.
I love having people around meand I'm also very extroverted,
but, um, I'm very mindful of whoI put my energy into.
(04:40):
Um, if someone at this stage isgoing to like give me grief
about anything, I'm not, I'm nothere for it, oh yeah, um, I'm
not going to be made to feelguilty at this point.
Um, as I tell my husband, whenI'm talking about this world of
friendships, I have my cousins.
(05:01):
I still have my best friendsfrom elementary school.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Which is rare.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
I think that's super rare, yeah, and we have a group
text and I actually woke up thismorning like, oh, our text has
been quiet for like two days andthat's like weird for us, like
we are constantly texting.
But I know we're all busy, yeah, um, I have a best friend.
You know, I have best friendsfrom college.
I was fortunate to go tocollege with my cousin, so again
(05:29):
, we have that built in bestfriendship.
And then you know my bestfriend from like after college,
um, I have these people in mylife that fulfill me so much
that at this point people comingin are like extra bonuses.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Yeah, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Um, I always say, like our team here in the
Columbia mom, I mean, what arethe chances that we would all
connect so quickly?
And we all had COVID babies,and not only COVID babies,
they're all boys.
So we have that connection,uh-huh, um.
You know the people I've becomeclose with here since,
especially like living in HowardCounty.
(06:07):
They give me a purpose, theystand by me, they help me out.
So I think that's the balancingact in this season of life, of
finding true friendships thatadd to your plate yes, that
aren't going to take away fromyour plate or make you feel bad
(06:28):
about something, right, I wasjoking with a friend of mine and
I was like, yeah, I textedso-and-so, asking a question,
and I found out that that personwas like who's this?
5'8?
number I was like, okay, maybewe were cool, but I was like,
(06:49):
okay, we were not friends.
Yeah, like friend friends.
Yeah, does that make sense?
Like, but it was like a funnymoment and didn't upset me at
all.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
I was was like okay, I know where we stand.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
We're cool.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
But like that's, that's how it is Right, If that
makes sense, Like and I know meliving being a transplant,
especially in Howard County,where it's like so tight knit
and so many people are from thisarea.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
I feel like an outsider a lot, that I couldn't
wait for my kids to go to school.
Oh, yeah, I was like I can'twait for my kids to go to school
.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Not saying that these moms are gonna become my best
friends and a lot of them becomeclose friends?
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Yeah, but just to have like a new community.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Yeah, and I think community is a strong word there
because, like I, um, I look atmy parents right and like I know
, funny enough, they just gotback from Germany.
They were a little there forlike 10 days and it was with my
funny my mom's name's Sharon andher friend and her other like
one of her longest friends, thiswoman, sharon, and um'm like
(08:00):
the last two Sharons left in theUS right.
And I don't remember no, they'renot college friends, but I
think maybe from their first jobor something like 40-plus years
ago.
And now that they're, you know,all of their kids are grown,
you know, out of the house.
I feel like I've heard her talkabout, you know, hanging out
with them more and more and Iwas like that's really awesome
(08:22):
Again, the power of friendship,right.
But kind of bringing it back tothe last one, talking about
like community, you know, I dothink we go through life, we go
through different stages, we gothrough different seasons.
I fully believe that somefriendships, some relationships
and people you meet aresometimes, you know, made for a
(08:42):
season of life and sometimesthat season is really long,
sometimes it's really short.
You know you think about, likedifferent work, friends or
people that you've kind ofinteracted and you know in
different roles.
Like you know they're not likecause, they're not in my life
forever, but they there arepeople like, for instance, like
when I got married, there werepeople at my wedding that I
haven't seen since because theywere sort of tied to the job
that I had at the time, but atthe time I was very close with
(09:03):
them.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
No harm, no foul.
You know what I mean.
Like that was just a differentseason of my life.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
And that's okay, you know what I mean.
But, like you know, yeah, Iremember thinking like my
college friends were like all mysorority girls and we were all,
of course, so close and we arewe still like to get together.
We're all kind of spread out,we're all like, luckily, like
you know, in the DMV, but we're,I mean I have a few that are
closer, but like I mean, I likemy best friend from college is
(09:33):
also my sorority, who literallyI'm seeing tomorrow, for her
birthday, you know um, like youknow she's the person.
I know that, like we can telleach other like everything, talk
about everything.
Nothing's off the table youknow what I mean, and our
husbands are really good friends, our kids get along really well
, like you know, all of that umand you know.
And then I have all theseseries of friends from, like the
(09:55):
girls that I've kind of met.
You know whether they're aseries of mom friends, whether
it's kind of just from theColombian mom connections, like
I made literally some of my bestfriends because of starting
this platform and again I dofeel like a little bit of a
unicorn.
I know you're really extroverted, yeah, but um, a lot of my
friend group is kind of likehalf and half, and so it's kind
of opened my eye to theintrovert side of life even
(10:19):
though we are not introverts.
I've grown to understand it alittle bit more, because I
realize that is a big challengefor a lot of women.
But the reality is, I think,the introverts it's not that
they struggle to make friends,it's just different because
they're fueled and orienteddifferently.
You know, like they areperfectly okay to live inside
their home, see their husband,see their kind of context, and
(10:41):
keep their circle small, andthere's nothing wrong with that.
Yeah, whereas, like for me, Icast a super wide net and, to be
honest, something I struggledwith in my 30s, now I could say
in my 30s, now that I'mapproaching the, the upper end
of that, being 40, is awesome.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Exactly Well.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I was going to say, like I am a friend slut.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
I'm a friend slut.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
It's the extrovert.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
I don't think I've ever heard that term before no,
and so let me explain.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
I become friends very quickly.
I will slide into your DMs veryfast, I will text you very fast
, I'll bring that boundary allthe way down and overshare and
um, you know, for better, forworse, that is.
Um, that is my advice infriendships and I mean I have
(11:31):
learned some, you know lessonsover.
You know, like I said in mythirties, where that did come
back to bite me and you knowrealizing like, okay, I do need
to be smarter about boundaries,um, because that's just kind of
like who I am.
You know I again it wasprobably the ADD in me, like the
oversharing and whatever.
(11:52):
But yeah, I'm a little bit of afriend, but like I get excited,
I fall in love quickly it's allthe air, the Aries in me.
I fall in love very quickly.
I'm very passionate, very fiery, so those kind of elements,
those same elements I noticedcome into my friendship.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Yeah, and I get it, and I think like my um one of my
best friends, um, who weconnected in my teaching
lifetime.
Um, you know, I actually youbrought up the season and the
reason.
I actually, for her wedding,for my maid of honor speech, I
(12:24):
even said you know people comein we always say our quote is a
reason, a season and a lifetime.
And like I quoted it and youknow we always say, like there
was, we kind of surpassed all ofthem, like there was a reason
we came into each other's life,mm-hmm, you were, you know, in a
season of teaching brand newteachers, first-time teachers.
(12:48):
We went through a lot together.
But you know, she's still inNew York.
I'm here and we talk every dayand it's one of those like we
don't have to be like hey,what's up, it's just like I need
a bet or like a random, likewhat do you think of this shoe?
Like our, our conversations arenever like high by because
(13:10):
they're kind of always goingyeah, right, um.
And I think that somefriendships, like you said, your
sorority sisters, like I knowfor me I played volleyball in
college which is basically asorority right, and like I don't
talk to those girls all thetime.
But you know, one girl textedme the other day.
She's like we're going campingdown.
By your way.
(13:30):
Give me some ideas.
Like I think you go throughperiods of your life and you
experience things together thatjust will bond you, no matter
what.
Oh, absolutely, and like thenyou kind of go from there and
they come in and out, but likeyou probably could see the
person tomorrow, oh yeah, andit's like no time has passed
right.
Oh yeah, um, so I think that'salso that balancing act.
(13:52):
You said you're a friend slut.
You've learned your lessons.
I know some of the lessonsyou've learned with like opening
up too quickly, yeah, um, but Ithink that's where I'm like as
extroverted as I am and I lovehaving people around me.
That's where I'm almost guarded, where, like, it takes me time
to realize to see if we're, arewe gonna be?
Are we gonna be this?
(14:13):
Because I am like before westarted today.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
I even was like this might be TMI, like we've been
working together like you don'tseem like a very boundary heavy
person from what I know.
Yeah, but September right?
Speaker 2 (14:28):
you know, it kind of took me till May to finally be
like.
I have a TMI question for youthat reality is.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
You could have asked me this September 2nd, probably
yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
But I think that's where, like, I kind of have to
gauge, because I can be a waytoo open book about things.
Oh, me too I love to talk aboutanything and everything, right,
but I have to figure out ifthat person I'm talking to is
the same way.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Right, because I don't want to scare someone,
right, well, and my problem is,I'm not necessarily worried if
the person is the same way.
It's where I again talk aboutthe lessons learned of, like is
that person going to be a keeperof whatever information I share
, or are they going to?
It's not just about it's notbecause what I shared is a
(15:13):
secret, right, it's just arethey valuable and important
enough in my life that I shared?
I don't know heavy, importantor just really relevant personal
stuff?
that like, oh, like I don't needto tell just anybody that and
those are the lessons that I'vehad to learn in friendship in my
30s, um, and being a mom,because and again.
(15:34):
Really not everybody isprobably the friend slut that I
am.
I just and I don't know, maybeit's also part of fuel of like,
you know, when I get to be outand like away from my kids,
maybe I'm just like so effingexcited.
Like another human we get totalk and like have drinks and go
out, so that element like fuelsit a little bit more for me.
But, um, I mean I I love that areason, a season and a lifetime
(15:59):
and I definitely I do thinkit's rare, you know, to have
those friendships from like whenyou were a kid and from that
longevity.
But I do think that's sobeautiful and amazing.
I mean, like I am stillobviously friends with a girl
that was like my childhood bestfriend.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
But, like she, lives in California.
We have completely differentlives you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
But like when we see each other, I mean she's what I
would call my oldest friend.
Yeah, we don't text regularlywhatsoever.
You know what?
I still call her a friend.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Yeah, but it's different.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
And again, just Different thing.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yeah, no, I'm very fortunate, like even you said,
about your wedding.
I think, like I can, off thetop of my head, think of two
people that were at my weddingthat I don't really speak to
anymore and that's because theywere husbands and not
ex-husbands or like an ex, butlike I think, between who we
(16:58):
invited and it might have beenbecause I got married at 29, so
it was a little later in my lifewhere I've been able to like a
little later um 28.
Yeah, I mean.
So I don't know if it's like,but yeah yeah yeah, and also by
that point I had moved toMaryland, so I had like a couple
years of like I'm down here,all my life is in New York.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Who am.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
I super close with who do I talk to all the time?
And that definitely, I think,played into who was invited.
But I mean it takes like justtalking more like about those
friends that aren't here, andeven the friends that are here,
like that mom guilt.
Do you feel like even with yourfriends here in Maryland, in
(17:46):
Howard County, do you experiencethat like mom guilt if you're
not like able to make time forthem?
And how do you go about likecarving out that time between
work priorities, familypriorities?
Or is it just like, oh, yourbest friend, you'll see at
school pickup and a birthday?
party right that kind of checksthe box.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
I think, for me, I definitely don't feel any mom
guilt, because I don't think Idon't think we should like in
that regard.
I think, like if my mom hassaid it too, it's like you know,
your friendships in lifeshouldn't, you know, be bringing
you drama.
You know they should be addingto your life, you know.
So I definitely don't feel anylike mom guilt towards my
(18:31):
friendship, because to me it'sassumed mm assumed you know what
I mean.
Like I, if you're not reachingout, I don't have any pain,
sadness or frustration.
And vice versa, like I, Iassume the best, yeah, I assume
the best in people.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
All you know, always you know what I mean, um, so
therefore, I'm not going to feelguilty if I'm not able to you
know, because I know, as soon asI reach out, I know it's going
to be a big flurry of like, ohmy.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
God I miss you.
Blah, blah, blah blah.
But like one thing sort of inthe same-ish line of like.
It is kind of like a little bitof mix of, I wouldn't say, the
mom guilt, but like you know howmuch effort I put in versus
like friends love the thing that.
I mentioned, and one thing Ihave personally have tried to be
(19:22):
a little bit mindful of myselfis because I do get really
excited when I meet and connectpeople, and I will do the thing
where, like I will, almost likelove, bomb you because I get
really excited and you know, andtext, and I am the kind of
person that I would text withsomebody every single day
because that's just like how I'moriented.
basically I would text withsomebody every single day
because that's just like how I'moriented.
But if I I I have, because ofyou know, some of these
experiences in my 30s, I havetried to like be like hey,
claire, step back, like how muchis the other person putting
(19:45):
into it?
Not that I'm like again notinserting mom guilt, but of like
recognizing again that I fallhard, yeah, and that just we're
trying to like going back to thevery first things we said of
like if I notice that I'mconsistently like putting in
more effort, do I want to keepgoing at that level because I
(20:06):
like I just not everybody andnot that I think that people
need to meet me at that levelbecause I realize I'm very extra
in that regard.
Sometimes I just I'm going toride that wave and I just need
to kind of come down to a littlebit more of a medium spot, and
even if that next medium spotstill may be above most of my
friendships.
But that's okay, it's just likeyou know.
If I'm consistently too high ortoo low, okay, I don't need to
(20:29):
be texting this person every dayor blowing them up whatever.
Let me meet that energy thatthey're putting in, because I
think that's only kind of fair.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
I say that in like the complete love you know, and
I think something else like whatI experience is you know we're
extroverted, but like I alsowant to help mm-hmm I you know,
I know I have a problem sayingno to things.
Oh god, right, and when?
Um, I don't have that much of aproblem being like no, I can't
go out because of life, but likeyeah, no, and helping someone
(21:01):
out.
And I think that, um, that'swhere sometimes I feel like, oh,
I'm putting a lot of effortinto helping someone and maybe
I'm not receiving that.
But I've found also in thisseason of life and managing like
these friendships with you know, school relationships and
(21:23):
everything like I've definitelynoticed it's all like I might be
putting in this much yeah, amonth two and then they put in
this much for month three andthere's a balancing act and that
I think also helps me, like,sustain me, like, yeah, okay I
might be doing a lot right now,but I know that person's going
to have my back next week when Ineed that extra help.
(21:44):
And I think that's part of this,like mom world and navigating
friendships right now too, isthat we all like need those
parents to help us out.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Do pick up, pick up absolutely school uniforms,
anything like the random texts.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
I send to people I'm like who has a size eight skirt
I can borrow for a week becausethere's no school?
Yeah right, you know.
So I think there is that aspecttoo and I mean it's hard, I
think, for me.
Like I said in the beginning, Icouldn't wait for Emily, my
oldest, to start school, becausethen I knew I would like have a
(22:20):
built-in community not saying Ineed to be best friends with
all of Emily's friends, parents,but it's still this nice
community to have that they'regoing to have our families back
and vice versa, so do you haveyou know.
With that said, do you have anytips?
I know we got to wrap up soonbut do you have any tips for
like, especially new moms,navigating this like world of I
(22:43):
have a child and a husband or awife or a significant other
person in my life that.
I need to balance out with thesefriendships right or finding
friends.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
I think my biggest tip is just be open.
It's just be open, open to newexperiences, open to new people,
you know, because we all needcommunity, we all need
friendships, and I think youknow whether you're an introvert
or extrovert, you know.
Just put yourself out there,you know, challenge yourself.
(23:13):
I'm not saying that you need tobring more people into your
circle like it's nothing,there's nothing wrong with the
circle you have.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
It doesn't need to be added to.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
But there is an important element of like don't
neglect the people that you loveand care for, even if that
means you only see them a fewevery few months, like that's
okay, but just be open to thosenew experiences and open to
valuing yourself enough to thatyou are important enough as a
mom that you need that time withyour friendships outside of
(23:42):
your kids, your husband and yourfamily yeah, and I think too,
for like the, you know somethingthat weighs on my head.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Sometimes I'm like, oh, I haven't talked to this
person in a while, like oh, Ishould reach out.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
I think that's where my mom.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Guilt comes from, sure, I know like my advice is
just send that person the textor send them, you know, respond
to their Instagram story,anything like that, cause I know
like when I hear from friendsthat I haven't heard from in a
while and no fault to anybody,it's just life.
I'm like, oh my God, I'm sohappy they reached out Like that
made my day and I think it'sjust like ripping that band-aid
(24:17):
off, and going with it right.
And then, just to close out,let's lighten it up a little bit
yeah, yeah okay, and um, I knowI didn't prep you for this, so
it's fine, it's fine, it's fine,um, all right.
So what is the most ridiculoustext you've sent a friend
recently?
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Oh goodness.
Well, this week's been a weirdweek.
I mean just saying like oh God,I can't have dairy for a whole
week.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
So that has been.
That's obviously not ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Let me put it this way I have, um a friend that I
think we have many of them,where I have literally not seen
her in months, and I'm talkinglike over six months, um, we
haven't talked on the phone, butI like love her to death, um,
and we send each other minimumof one to five memes a day and
that is the sustenance of ourrelationship and it is like it's
(25:17):
the kind of thing that, likeyou don't want to look under the
hood because it is some, yeah,insane shit in there.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
I know I have my um, the, my friend, who I said the
reason to seize in a lifetime.
Yeah, I mean, like I said, likethere's no high buys in our
conversations because it's justconstantly going, and I'm sure,
like if I asked her, like whatis the amount of ridiculousness
of text?
that we send each other.
I mean, it's scary sometimes,yes, the topics we dive into and
(25:48):
say mm-hmm, although I think tobe.
I did do a screenshot.
This might have been moreridiculous.
I did do a screenshot shot of,you know, vibrators that are in
sale to well, you know, myfriends that I know we were just
talking about.
I was like screenshot this.
I'm like don't let your kidssee this.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
That's right market research.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
You know people need to know, like who's buying at a
discount and telling us how ithow it works right, gotta
disseminate the informationthat's why we're in marketing
folks, we can't gatekeep.
Alright and then let's see whowould you call if, figuratively,
you needed to bury a body.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
Oh, I know, oh, I would definitely call my friend
Monica.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Okay, I mean, based on what I know of Monica, I can
totally see that I might have toalso call her.
Yeah, I don't even really knowher.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Oh yeah, I would call Monica, not because she's like
the most savage person, but justoh, I would call Monica, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
I would.
I don't know, I don't like, Idon't even know how to fully put
it into words yeah, I would.
I don't know, I don't like Idon't even know how to fully put
it into words.
Yeah, I would call my cousinswho are like my best friends, so
Jesse, laura and Liz and mysister Amy, probably because you
know family.
First, they're not going towrite you out and secondly, if I
(27:14):
called them and I was like thisis happening, pitchforks ready,
would be ready to yeah, oh,yeah, going and yeah ask zero,
that's, that's exactly what Iknow of my friend, like no
questions asked she would rollup, like no guilt, like
(27:37):
everything.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
So true, and to Wrap it up a little bow, what would
what is your best like mom,friend date idea, or one that
you've done recently.
I know you've been doing a lotof fun things.
I know I do.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
We do a lot of fun things um, I mean, actually I'm
going on one tomorrow with mygirlfriend for her birthday.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Um, she actually wants to get a piercing.
I'm not but cartilage orsomething like that and we'll do
like coffee.
I mean locally, like one of myfavorite dates that I did with a
girlfriend that I have done acouple times is like getting
drinks at Docow and getting foodthere, because, one, their
cocktails are so freaking good.
It's like so Instagram kind oflike cocktails are so freaking
(28:17):
good.
It's like so instagram kind oflike worthy and cute and it's
fun like any time of year.
It's great during the winter,it's obviously great during the
summer, so you can hang out likein the park.
Um, I've also done that beforegoing to a concert like I, I
just love that as a girlfriendspot for sure.
Um, and then I meanalternatively, last year we did
like a girls outing this liketiki boat in downtown.
(28:41):
Annapolis.
So we went to Chop Tank for ahappy hour before.
And then we all went out on thetiki boat and had like music
and drinks and like that wassuper fun.
Oh, the weather was goodtomorrow, and Hannah and I had
tomorrow's supposed to be rainy,so it wouldn't be fun for
Annapolis, but we will make do.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
No, that sounds awesome.
I mean, just a couple weeks agowe did like the girls night at
my friend's new place and thenwe walked over to Stain Glass
Pub, our local watering hole.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
And I felt like I was in college again, because it
had dropped, like significantamount of degrees.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Oh god, from the start of it to like us going
over there at 10 o'clock so Ifelt like in college, I was like
shivering.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Oh yeah, but like.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
but like it was just you know, myself and my two
girlfriends like we just got tolike hang out, have a drink,
like it wasn't even anythingspecial, but we just like.
We're like we haven't sat downwith three of us and I think
that's what it is.
It's like, no matter whatyou're doing, it's who you're
around, who you trust, who youcan have an open conversation
with, and like not be holdingback.
And I think that's my big thingis, I have to hold back with
(29:48):
someone, like fully hold back.
Yeah, I'm like we're gonna,we're gonna be good friends, but
that deep dive right, it's allabout the deep guy, all right
right folks.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Well, on that note, well, this is the perfect note,
because we'll just keep swimmingour way through summer.
So well, cheers to friendship,cheers to reasons, seasons and
lifetime, no matter where youare in your life, in your own
season, but here's to valuingmotherhood and friendships.
Yeah, yes, thanks for tuninginto this episode of MomTalk
Maryland.
If you loved it, leave a review, share it with a friend, or tag
(30:24):
me at thecolumbiamom onInstagram.
I'd love to hear what you thinkand don't forget to follow the
show so you never miss anepisode.
Until next time, keep showingup, keep supporting local and
keep being the incredible mom,woman, human that you are.
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