Monotone Chronicles: A podcast to fall asleep to

Still in Florence, I start my day with Michelangelo’s David — and despite trying to stay emotionally detached, I’m thoroughly impressed. He’s nearly 17 feet tall, beautifully sculpted, and yes, a lot of people are just quietly staring at his butt.

I climb to the top of the Florence Cathedral dome far too early for something that vertical, wander into an Irish pub featuring an optical illusion of a wall, and I get a call from the AI-...

In this episode, I arrive in Florence and check into a hostel that may or may not be fully abandoned. Luckily, the hot water works — which, frankly, is enough to keep me from fleeing. I make pasta from scratch (and immediately assume I’m Italian), explore some Renaissance masterpieces, and get to the bouncer "guarding" Michelangelo's David.

A meandering stroll through pasta dough and questionable hospitality — all del...

In this episode, I explore Venice — a city built on water, held together by charm, and seemingly engineered for both romance and mild disorientation. I walk the entire circumference (because why not), sit through half of a hauntingly beautiful Vivaldi concert, visit a glass-blowing island where I was reminded to stop, drop, and roll, and drink more Aperol Spritzes than I intended to admit publicly.

It’s a softly meandering journey t...

In this episode, I find myself in Zermatt, Switzerland — where the fondue is dangerously good, the air is thin enough to slow your thoughts, and the Matterhorn looms like the world’s most photogenic traffic cone.

I ski into Italy before lunch, then glide back into Switzerland by the afternoon. It’s one of those rare days where everything feels soft-edged and cinematic, like your life has a soundtrack — and you’re narrating it in you...

In this episode, I head to Liechtenstein, where I attempt to visit the prince’s castle — and am gently but unmistakably asked to leave. Naturally, I respond in the most reasonable way possible: by getting a tattoo.

Then it’s on to Bern, where I may have fallen in love. Or at least into something resembling it. Hard to say — we didn’t speak the same language, but there was a vibe. Probably.

A quiet tale of royal rejection, spontaneous...

In this episode, I wander through Luxembourg — where fortress walls are tucked into cliffs, the streets feel suspiciously peaceful, and I somehow end up chatting with the U.S. Ambassador. I spot Nancy Pelosi just before she makes headlines, find a life-changing doughnut, and finally, quietly, try beer for the first time.

Then it’s off to Zurich, where I attempt to open a Swiss bank account, have lunch in a building older than most n...

This time, I wander through Ghent — a city where medieval towers lean over hushed canals, and every turn reveals something charming, crumbly, or quietly magical. I try nearly every Belgian beer I can find, explore castles older than most family trees, allegedly leave some graffiti, and encounter a mustard so spicy it resets my whole personality. Which some would argue, is a big win.

A slow and slightly boozy stroll through one of Be...

In this episode, I drift through Amsterdam — where the canals whisper, the red light district hums softly during the day, and the museums seem to multiply when you’re not paying attention. I end my day with some beer brewed inside a windmill, then hop over to Bruges, Belgium, for another first: finally trying beer.

It’s a quiet journey through two cities known for indulgence, told in the most soothing way possible — a monotone voice...

I arrive in Oslo by train—just in time to nearly melt in a sauna and conversely regret my life choices during a cold plunge that might’ve rewritten my genetic code. Naturally, I recover with an embarrassingly expensive lunch at The Lorry, followed by some quiet time in what might be the most beautiful public library on Earth.

Then, in a move that yodels "why not," I book a same-day flight to Copenhagen instead of taking th...

In this episode of Monotone Chronicles, I leave the snowy north behind and take a slow train south from Rovaniemi to Helsinki. There, I spend a quiet day wandering through peaceful streets, admiring Nordic architecture, and somehow managing to visit several churches without combusting.

As the evening settles in, I board a Viking Line cruise—booked with a same-day ticket—for a gentle float across the Baltic Sea toward Stockholm.

Pull ...

In this episode of Monotone Chronicles, I’m still in Rovaniemi, Finland—where the pace is slow, the skies dance with auroras, and you can help fund Santa’s elves’ education.

Join me as I quietly recount a peaceful day exploring Lapland: sampling some of the northernmost beer in the world, enjoying a hearty meal of bear and reindeer, and simply watching the Arctic night unfold.

Whether you're easing into sleep or escaping into a c...

In this first episode of Monotone Chronicles, I take you on a slow, quiet journey from suburban Ohio to Rovaniemi, Finland—right at the edge of the Arctic Circle. It’s a sleepy travelogue told in a voice hereditarily designed to help you wind down, unplug, and drift off.

Whether you're trying to fall asleep, relax after a long day, or simply escape into someone else’s sometimes uneventful adventures, this is your gentle invitati...