November 12, 2024 • 51 mins
The boys return to talk about making every single holiday about mothers, the LeBron James and Hennessy Collab, Mike Tyson Vs. Jake Paul, and they even share their most embarrassing childhood memories.
Remember to follow all our socials @MothersILearnFrom
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Killing Mike Tyson, Jake Paul get legendary status, but he doesn't deserve it. He's none. He's done nothing to earn it
(00:06):
The money he has is fucking still mind use climbing up, bro
Welcome to episode 14 of milf the podcast the show the movie the show
Dude, so we're gonna get a movie soon. I just know it
I'm gonna really love it like a Smosh the movie style movie or a Shane Dawson not funny or not cool or whatever it was
(00:33):
Not not cool dude. One of the top five greatest we have all time
Yeah, more like not enjoyable
Did you used to watch Shane Dawson
Siblings did though and I was like here in the background like
It's fucking shit like I'm into fucking college
(00:54):
Man like I'm beyond
Yeah, it's got it's got the word college in it. It's like I'm above you
Burnham clips guys, you don't even understand
You couldn't fucking comprehend the shit. I'm off. I used to watch their anime that's so that was my favorite. Oh
Yeah, they're like the condoms are like a I remember like a weed one like a joint a lot
(01:19):
Like an answer more picture and a beer a beer was there
That's awesome. That's all the things college you know college. That's the best part
Yeah, exactly. We love
Beer party sex weed like it's all like it doesn't take much to get us going trust me actually we're not
(01:42):
Yeah
You're speaking
Dude
2003 and below are you kidding me man? We're college age my little cousin's
My little cousins in college and I'm worried he's gonna get lonely. Honestly. That's my biggest worry for him
That's
Does he did he just start his roommate is a junior?
(02:04):
Yeah, he's roommates
Jay
Gonna go into some crazy
I'm not shit dude. This is what happens when you lag bro
It infects all your conversations suddenly thing on some sort of anti-semite bro, and I'm not dude
I love all Semitic people's and
(02:25):
His roommates a junior he has nothing in common with he's like a rugby player and all he does is play in a mural basketball
Cuz it's probably a record
No, dude, he plays in a mural basketball
He's not even good enough to be on the actual team bro. No offense. I love cousin. I love him dearly
But we don't have that's still cold
(02:46):
Has your day been?
Solid I just you know
Did honestly I woke up late today, and I felt bad it was I woke up at like how late was it?
I felt like shit well I
Woke up at like 1130 and I didn't feel like shit. So what does that say about me?
You think I'm bullshit you think I'm bullshit
(03:09):
No, I think you're fine. I just I didn't feel good
I think it's just because I've been sick the whole weekend that I still felt like shit
Bro you are you seem to be in a constant state of sickness. I'm worried about you every time we text
I feel like one out of four times you say you're sick, and I'm worried honestly
I mean this time it was I could pretty sure it was just allergies, but you never know it could be the one
(03:33):
You know could be the one to take me my third it
It can always be the one dude everybody's out to get us all the time. I stub my toe. We have so many enemies
Yeah, it's true. It's true. I mean I can't walk a block without running into some of my ops, bro. Honestly
(03:57):
It's crazy, it's crazy
It's a dude, and they recognize me from afar because my fits are so hard. That's what that's
Down the block is the high school where all of your ops are dude
That's dude. Okay. I was walking to the store the other day to get chips for my sister and
(04:19):
Yeah, yeah, and I ran into I was walking past the local middle school
I will not say I guess
And so there were some kids out front and I was walking behind them as they were walking ahead of me
I'm like Danny's kids are slow so I'm gonna pass them like really quickly and
They turn around and the girls like can we use your phone?
And
(04:41):
They had to call one of them had to call their dad to pick them up or whatever
But and it was fine
But I was like these kids are like making me feel bad and I feel bad about that like why am I getting anxious around these kids?
I was like I didn't freak out, but I the pressure was on and I'm like no I feel it
(05:02):
Dude, the middle school kids are the most intimidating like people of all time. You don't know. Yeah, and I'm gonna be nicer
If they're gonna absolutely roast the show
And the dad called back and I was like a block away
So I just had to be on the phone with him for like a little bit
It's like I waited it out for like 10 seconds, but then I was like, oh, yeah, hold on
(05:24):
And I know your kids are back there
And I was like dude, what is it? I hope these kids think I'm cool, but they definitely don't do
I don't have
Did you have that shit on I know dude
I had this black polo on that kind of made me look not it looked like it made me look
I was going to a job which isn't just the coolest fit, but
(05:48):
At least maybe they thought you had like a nice job and I was wearing boots. I was wearing boots. I
Looked like they're like damn do something trust worthy
Yeah, that's true. They probably thought I was like cool like I don't know how old kids think I would be
But I hope they respected me this kind of like you have like
(06:11):
Just like the XR. I think man pretty old. I've been dropping is it something they would make fun of
Dude, I don't know kids man kids are they're on something different. They seem normal. They seem normal
Latino children love them gotta love them
and I was just yeah, it was
They didn't make they weren't mean they're they were pretty cordial
(06:34):
They were like talking a little bit with themselves while I was standing right next to them like guys
What are we talking about of skibbity wrist?
The worst
Well
(06:55):
You guys catch the episode kick pitowski last night
Chick-Bitowski and one more pair of canes. That's what that's my last one. That's my last one
Does the XD dude it was for the cool kids. They didn't seem like they didn't seem like a grabby
Oh, no, you can tell you can tell you can tell when a kid is grabbing foals type to you Peter kid energy
(07:16):
Like
At least they weren't on their Steven universe type shit. Yeah
Dave that's where it drops off man, but I have seen
Most of Steven universe and I hate to say it
But I just wanted the Adventure Time vibes without having to rewatch Adventure Time again, and you know what?
It was it had its moment. It had its moments. It was mostly corny. It was 90% corny and
(07:41):
I was in the same situation
that you yeah
With kids or back in the universe, you know back in high school
Well, I was I would like go to the McDonald's after school and like that's where the middle school is and
Maybe like once out of every five times a kid would come up to me and be like
Can I call what can I call my mom on your phone?
(08:04):
And then I think one time
Well, yeah, I mean I had you I you know I felt pressured
I'm a very easily pressured guy
Like me and my cousin with one time that happened to us were like an a lady like a grown lady when we were like 12 or whatever
Like she asked to use our phones to call somebody and we were like do we have to beat this lady up because we were so
(08:27):
about like
like battle fantasies that like this was like her trying to kidnap us and
We had to like fight her off which we were always happy to do
You guys were strategizing how to take this woman out
I'm not even strategizing. We just want we wanted blood dude. I don't know what it was
There was something about us that was so like we wanted violence or something
(08:51):
I
Remember I was downtown once with like my group of friends back in middle school and one time
We were all walking just like to get some food and this guy just comes out of nowhere out of the gas station
He's like oh
Guys, can I have a dollar? I just need one dollar or no, he's like two dollars
I just need two dollars for some gas and we were in my group of friends and most of us were like
(09:14):
No, dude, this dude's fucking creepy shit. He's gonna molest us or some shit
And then but me being just the naive kid I was I was like, I don't fuck it
I'll give him a dollar and so me and my other friend we gave him just two dollars and he grabbed it and he was like
Oh my god. Thank you guys. You guys saved my life. Uh, you know, I'll buy you whatever you guys want
I'll get you some weed if you want weed
(09:37):
Why didn't you take him up, dude?
And that's how you know you that's how you know you guys were lame kids, dude
You weren't even willing to party with this dude
Dude, do you want to spark up with him, bro?
I was an 11 year old kid who did not want to party with like an at least 40 year old man
Oh my god, you were lame, bro
Anytime you receive an invitation from an older adult when at whatever they do man
(09:59):
You're supposed to take them up on it man. It's required any opportunity to say yes
You got to say yes, dude. Just think about it the coolest kids hang out with old people
Exactly
Like damn bro like let alone hanging out with a senior bro. You're hanging out with a 34 year old like that's dope
(10:20):
Exactly the older. They are the cooler you are, you know
Yeah, exactly, but it does sort of horseshoe once they get too much wisdom and you're like are you even partying anymore?
Exactly it becomes lame. What's what's the caught-off age when it becomes late?
Probably like 81. Oh
That's high up. I was I was saying 50. Oh
(10:42):
No, dude, 50 year olds can party man. You don't know 50 year olds like that. I guess I don't know many
50 year olds were you hanging out with 50 year olds? It's like a 10 year old kid. What is this happening?
Took me a while to level up to 50, but once I was 13. I was secured in in the friend group
I was we go to bars and they'd see I was a kid. What the fuck would you guys talk about?
(11:06):
Oh all sorts of like how school was going like what girls I liked and like
Stuff like that man. They were really chill always there for advice
Um, yeah met them all on kick, bro. It was pretty tight
We had this sick kick group chat this kick and don't even get me started on the group chat names, bro. They went crazy
(11:30):
Everybody knows
Oh, man, this takes me back. Sorry. I can't even remember so
These are some memories that go way the fuck back
There was the Hardy boys when we had our mystery phase
Yeah, so it's all based on just like the groups of just young boys
(11:54):
Oh, okay, we had a South Park
Who can blame some old dudes for wanting to relive the past because it's honestly gone from I
watched a Japanese movie recently called Ikiru about an old guy that was dying and didn't do anything with his life
So he was sad that's that's that's when you're old and you don't do shit
(12:18):
And he was he had cancer
So he's like I'm gonna build a park and that it was so sweet and he was swinging in the swinging and then he died
spoilish
But very similar to the movie we bought a zoo
Dude, he's not old or Japanese you dumbass. He's fucking Mark Ruffalo
We're Matt Damon
Isn't it is it Matt Damon? I thought it is Matt. It is Matt Damon
(12:42):
Mark Ruffalo is sort of the Italian version of
Matt Damon, I think
That's even Irish
Yeah, yeah, I think it does he's from Boston dude every single person in Boston has Irish in them
It's impossible. It's a good. I didn't watch a good will hunting last night with my mom. Did you?
(13:05):
I can solve these problems easy. I can solve these problems easy
You don't even understand how easy this shit is for us. Don't say it's not your fault
We should just start we should just start
Bar for bar just reading movies
(13:25):
Like a table read, but it's just I've been think okay doing it without like just doing it for ourselves
Like we could have a good time, but like if there's too many presences like you'll be like too self-aware and you'll be like no
This is bullshit. Let's
I
Feel like this is something we would have done like a year or two ago and just it would have been the greatest night
(13:50):
It's I actually thought this earlier today I was looking out in a show
I was watching they were talking about like doing like a read of like some play or something
I'm like why does that's fun if you just have you do that with a circle of friends, but it's also like really
You guys want you guys want to fuck around and just do a table read real quick
(14:10):
Dude, they're fucking first of
Well, whoever created us cursed us with consciousness, bro. Why can't we just have fun and nobody's allowed to have fun?
everything is embarrassing
Turn off the party your brain where you cringe at yourself, dude
Exactly man the shame the shame button bro. I literally need to press that but I can't reach deep enough kids kids
(14:32):
Don't have that dude when I was a kid. I would just do whatever sounded fun
No, man, I had that from an early age. I got embarrassed from an early age. I think I was a
Was the earliest embarrassment memory
God I was oh god. I don't even want to get into it, but I was playing soccer shout out the AYSO
Association something shout out soccer shout out football
(14:56):
Yeah, shout out football
Me and my beautiful other fellow Latino boys playing soccer in the dirt in the mud
But I was on it was I was on break or whatever whatever it's called
I was not playing in the moment and I was just sort of like I was I was short
I guess so my eye line was far away from adults
So I didn't really get much thought to it
(15:18):
But I ended up thinking it was my dad or I thought I saw my dad and I like leaned on him and kind of just like
I was a little kid
So I was just like grabbing him a little because I was like a clingy weird kid and it was not my dad
(15:40):
That's happened to me so
So many times just because my dad has like a bunch of brothers and a lot of them kind of look like this dude
so I
think one time I was at a
When someone was at a party like a like a family reunion or something and it's the back of my uncle's like
He's wearing the same fit as my dad. So I'm like patting him in the back. I'm like, oh dad dad dad
(16:02):
And he turns around he goes, I'm not your dad
And I'm I got so fucking scared is top five most like terrifying moments in my life
I still don't like that uncle even though he's a clone of your dad. Did you don't like him?
He's the easy your dad's you look
He has like lighter like hair. He has like my dad's brothers are also kind of like slight variations of him
(16:27):
He's the oldest so I feel comfortable saying that but they just kind of look they're like him
But a little off he has the party brother and the nerd brother and that's kind of awesome
It's like the perfect like TV show is in the middle
Like that personality wise he kind of like blends both
(16:49):
But you say that and then you're like wow, I just don't know them like I know my dad so that kind of makes sense
But a nerd uncle's in the air food there in the spectrum. Yeah, exactly
And the spectrum of brothers the actual most beautiful spectrum in existence. Yeah
There's nothing more beautiful than having a brother to die for you
(17:09):
That sounds awesome
That's why I joined the marines my band my band of brothers. Exactly. That's why I joined the Marines, man
Would you consider joining the Marines? Maybe if I watch like a really good Marines movie before I think I'd get
Platoons really good man, I think they're Marines I want to say
(17:29):
Put on some platoons
It's pretty fire and willem de faux smokes weed in it dude
And you're like oh my and he has like a sexual tension with Charlie sheen
He like blows the smoke into his mouth and I like
Yeah, this is awesome
This is why I signed up. This is why I signed up on top gun Maverick
Put on some top gun Maverick, dude, and I would like sign up that you're that vulnerable to propaganda, bro
(17:58):
You're weak I'm prok, you're weak. No, that's the machine. You're the freaking hog, bro
I'm about to beat you up for saying that I would never serve my country
My country's a villain I
Would probably serve I would actually rather serve the people being attacked than the freaking attackers, bro
Damn, dude, you got it. You kind of got a hero's mentality
(18:19):
I honestly do and I think I could do it single-handedly as well. Like it's not even that big
Yeah, like work honestly, I just I'm waiting
I'm trying to get I exercise for like an hour today, but then I ate a really a lot of really nasty food
I can't look see you
You can't like no net gain here today. I'm glad to square one, dude
(18:44):
So many I ate like three lollipops
Just like leftover Halloween kid was trying to do math I was like how bad yeah exactly
But I was like how bad is this for you is is one lollipop like
equal to like three gummy bears
Is 6,000 calories there's no way dude that doesn't even sound real to me
(19:07):
But I'm willing to believe you because you are my sweet
Okay, believe me and you had you had 1800 calories to I honestly like that number so it's fine with me
But I'm worried about myself man. What's gonna happen to me and there's government it to do you get oh
(19:27):
Dude, those are the best ones though
Yeah, but the tootsie pops have blue flavors. So this one's honestly a little weak
Yeah, what were you saying?
Did you get any trick-or-treaters for Halloween?
We got like three groups. Are you at home?
Yeah, I was at home. I nobody invited me to any cool hangouts or anything like that and I was all dressed up
(19:51):
So it was honestly really disappointing. Yeah, dude. I had a full I had a very intricate costume and just nobody hit me up
Dude
Machine I was watching
To or some shit I was wearing my fucking yeah, I was wearing a watching Thursday night football
I was I was Arnold Schwarzenegger from a predator in it
(20:12):
And I was really I put a lot of work into it and nobody gave me the call
Nobody invited me to hang out. It was
It was the one year where I was like, yeah, you know what I'm gonna do a costume this year
I had
I had it I had an electrician come and do the shit and dude. I was a full-blown transformer
I I fucking turned into the the big-ass truck and then I
(20:37):
You should have seen it, but you know
Pretty early to go to light city shit
I went to like downtown and stuff to see if there's anything going on fully dressed, of course and
Nobody out in the streets was like recognizing my costume really that much there. It just thought I was a military guy
I'm like, no it's so much deeper than that
But none of them even oh your army guy
(20:59):
None of them even asked my number to text to hang or anything like that was honestly fucked up dude
Yeah, man. Nobody was like yo sick costume was hang
Especially when I'm a 10 and they're usually like fives and sixes like I don't even understand like the math is not math thing
anyone exactly
Fucked up even out dude two fives for a 10 and my fucking
(21:23):
My fucking bulletproof vest was a fucking it was a microtop. It was a crop top
You can see my belly button bulletproof that's
Yeah bulletproof vest like work like if I were to shoot you would it like deflect or I guess absorb
Well, we're I'm willing to try it at any time. I have no lust for life anymore since that day
So I'm willing to fully experiment back. It's fully simulated a hundred percent accurate test results
(21:49):
I did bite off Etsy, so we'll see but like I don't even care
Honestly, I feel so embarrassed those kids made me feel bad about myself and now Halloween is happening and it's over now
It's a holiday weekend is over
It's over dude. All the weekend. What do I have to show for it except for 18,000 calories consumed man?
(22:17):
And an 18,000 dollar costume an 18,000 I put so much money into the big gun, bro
It's actually half real it was an investment
If I put bullets into it sometimes they just don't
I'm not there's there's like a couple groups of kids who came over to my place
(22:37):
I meant to trick-or-treat and
I just throughout the week
That sounds so bad. I don't know why the fuck I phrased it like that. That's insane
The other day there's a bunch of groups of kids who came like to trick-or-treat
But the very first one had me like pissed. I was like, I'm not giving out candy anymore because I had these
(23:02):
We had bought these tahin gummy bear packs and
They're pretty good. They're like wasn't that many cuz yeah, cuz they're like
Isn't a lot of kids that come over. Yeah, and the first kid that comes in trick-or-treats dude
I give him like two packs of these tahin gummy bears and he looks up at me and goes that's it
And I swear dude
I was gonna fucking point this kid to the next fucking neighborhood. This is why I was like, I'm never doing this again
(23:30):
These kids are never grateful you give and you give and they never are even a little bit
Thankful about what you're doing for the man. That's and that relates to being a mom honestly
You can give your kid as much candy as they want but they'll
Mother's give and give and dirt or whatever they rarely receive mothers are the Halloween of non-holiday things
(23:53):
Exactly
Yeah, so it's so true and I feel so utterly bad for them and that's an apology and they should be the Thanksgiving dude
And they should be thanking them every we should model the Thanksgiving turkey out of a mother
So like a maybe like um
You like just carved her to look like like sculpts to the turkey. Yeah, exactly
(24:15):
Dad's bragging about how he's gonna carve the turkey this year. Yeah, make her look into a woman
Yeah, make a perfectly accurate replica of mom out of the turkey if you think you're so good with a knife you fucking asshole man
Honestly, you fucking piece of shit piece of actual
Are you even grateful? What do you even thankful for I bet it's not her you're not even gonna mention her you're probably gonna mention
(24:41):
Oh
My
Yeah, oh yeah, what the fuck dude men are always thinking that they're the man health students. They're not
Health dude. Health means nothing without a powerful woman by your side honestly
You can even produce any progeny without her womb you insolent asshole, all right if I could choose
(25:09):
Between a great mother and great health
I choose great mother a hundred times out of on because she will heal you dude with her nurturing spirit not to say mothers
Necessarily have she will bring trade. Yeah, she will bring her presence is nurturing. That's that's it
She doesn't even have to put a band-aid on you
You
She just has to be there. She's just oh my god. That's so beautiful. Oh my god. I think I'm gonna buy my mama present
(25:34):
Oh my god
You know for every holiday we should just give our mother's presents. Yeah, I like her birthday and Christmas Labor Day present
Oh, I
Thanksgiving present it seems like it takes a little too much. Arbor Day present
That's you can't expect me to be that considerate at the end of the day because I am a man
(25:55):
It's my biggest weakness. I'm a hateful being and I'm trying to freaking overcompensate for it
But at the end of the day I am weak
I'm weak
Would you say you're more of a hater than the average person?
I'd like to say not and I don't have a good basis on how other people think I think
(26:16):
but I
Would say yet. I feel pretty judgy, but also I feel pretty kind and lovely at the same time
So it's hard to say. Yeah, what would you what do you think the dichotomy if I'm in a bad mood like I haven't I didn't
It's like 5 p.m. And I haven't eaten anything like I can be
(26:36):
Pretty angry I can get pretty loka if you know what I mean man and
God God God my chicas
God praise my enemies when I freaking don't have a bite to eat, but do you think you are too a hater man?
Ah I have a hater mentality not in a serious way
(26:59):
Mine's a little serious dude. I feel genuine even if it's something over like over something petty
I'm a hater at heart, but a lover in spirit, you know
I guess those can be different things, but I feel like they're speaking to the same thing
(27:25):
I think you can be good. I think you could just be both man
That's true dude, I believe yeah, I think yeah, it depends on the day
I'd love to be more of a lover, but this world we live in is honestly a hateful one. It's no it's no it's no thing
No, no wondering it fucking produced us little nasty beings are little acid tongues and
(27:49):
and narrowing out bro, we are evil honestly
I should get into a car crash with the world and finally put it out of its fray
I was not expecting you to say I should get into a car crash
It can happen at any moment so you should keep your eyes peeled man
(28:11):
Eyes of yours. Eyes of yours man
That's insane
I'd love to be a singer, but I'm just so shy. I'm in pretty alright
What what's about me?
What I exercised I had
(28:36):
I just ate a salad and it makes my mouth taste pungent
Yeah, I had my lollipops. I had a bunch of Tim Tams again probably like six or seven. Oh shit
Yeah, and fucking Australian serving for one thing a one is supposed to be one serving when it's only like two calories
(28:56):
Bro, that's not like 80, but still who eats one event man
I feel like I've said this before on fucking whatever dude
I'm I am living in loop and I'm trying to break out, but it's it's to no avail thus far
It's fucking
It's fucking with what's the name of the groundhogs day? I guess so there's their palm springs or
(29:19):
Fucking bomb sprigs is a thorough Jumanji at the episode
Wizards of a really place
Hannah Montana when she goes back and has to reintroduce her mom and dad it's that is my life right now
My only escape is going on long. It's your life's
Hey, dude, maybe maybe one of these days you'll fucking encounter like a
(29:41):
Magical being I saw an owl that was pretty cool. I walk into the woods and I get a bunch of bug bites that are bothering me right now
Yeah, but I did see an owl which was pretty awesome
Maybe maybe maybe next time that owl will like talk to you and give you that's what I'm hoping dude
I'm tired of it. When did we how could I get oh my god this world is such boring bullshit
(30:02):
That's why we had to add so much evil to the world because nothing interesting was happening
They probably planned out fucking colonialism because they're like wait, but unicorns don't exist
Let's do something drastic to fover com and save for that, but it's all
Yeah, fuck this if we had more magical beings
(30:23):
This world would be less evil exact
I think so dude if we had like dragons and shit the
There would be no overpopulation or whatever dude tragedy of the commons or whatever would not happen because a dinosaur would eat us and
A wizard would some shit like that and a goblin would be a normal person you racist ass like you
(30:48):
Know dude, I'd be I'd be friends with so many goblins. What are you talking about?
Friends with orcs because we're both sort of warriors
I've been actually having a lot of skyrim and I was and um yeah, yeah
It's the only game I can play it's the only game I can play man. My ps4 is dead fantasy stuff. Yeah, dude
I am I'm honestly a warrior
(31:10):
I'm investing a lot in fighting and restoration right now, which is kind of the cheapest way to play
huh
Is your PlayStation 4 just dead you cannot my controllers won't stay charged
They do not charge in the ps4 and they they're dead so it just I don't think my ps4 has the gift of life
(31:31):
But they also don't charge from the wall, so I think it's the control I could get a new controller, but that's
Fucking pointless, I don't know man. It just feels like it's all bullshit. I'm done with it video games are just something I do too to
escape from
My mental my mental and physical from harsh realities exactly and suddenly I'm a warrior in Skyrim and I'm freaking killing dragons
(31:53):
And and I'm married to a mage a
Beautiful mage and then shout out to you
It's Yola bro shout out Yola. I wore her I'm wearing her wedding band and I gave it a I gave it a bus
Oh shit
Yeah, man, she's freaking a little over my life man, but I'm trying to buy us a house right now
(32:15):
I think I'm gonna marry her dude. I did marry her dude at the temple Mara bro. Oh my god
I think she's the one I think she could be the one she's an elf. It's pretty awesome
She makes you food once a day, which she shouldn't have to but I appreciate it nonetheless
I love I love for you next time you're just with your family
(32:38):
Like exactly how you're talking I show I show them each a picture of her and I'm like what do you guys think like I
Think she could
She
Already got married she does something to me and I'm not spells bro. It's not spells
She's a mage, but that means nothing I met her at college. Yeah college at Winterhol
(33:04):
Yeah, we go way back
notice since like 2011 yeah, and
She was with me the entire time. I was working my way to archmage honestly, so I
Have nothing but respect and reliance upon her you two sound great together. Yeah, and my character is really ugly
So she know you know she's doing it for me
(33:28):
Did you just make yourself just the ugliest fucking yeah, I'm like a ginger
Like bald headed with like just crazy features. I made this account
I think probably like five years ago, and I found my safe. I just started playing that shit. I mean that's it
That's just means you guys have been together for five years. No, we I got married
(33:49):
It was I was a pretty like empty like it was pretty just beginning kind of a character
So I'm married like a month ago honestly
Dude are you on your honeymoon right now? No, dude. I'm freaking I'm doing
I'm just walking around and she stays at the College of Winterhold where she has a room
(34:11):
And I try to visit her every once in a while
It's I don't know
Dating is hard these days man. It's hard to sounds like it sounds like
That's like you play Skyrim the way many people just play the Sims
No, man, it's harder to build your kind of world. There's too many extraneous factors like an orc village
(34:35):
That doesn't like you but I am blooded. I believe so they won't attack me
This is boring talk though. Fuck nerd shit all nerd shit must die
I feel that very strongly whatever makes a nerd smile is bad to me
That's the platform. I'm running on for this year's election. I believe
Which is still coming up. I think I still have a chance to put my name on the ballot, but I will see
(35:00):
Dude the election was last week. It was last Tuesday. It was last week. Okay, and who won? Yeah
Donald J. Trump Donald J. Trump was he on the ballot this year? I got a guy, huh?
It's your guy dude. He's my guy man. I've never even met him once. Yeah, I've never even met him once
(35:24):
And if I did it's over for him
Last episode I said I was writing in Dana White. Yeah, and
It counts for Donald Trump Dana White just
Just is the president now
He's just he had a whole speech where he was like I'd like to thank the phase clan
(35:45):
Do you like to take the milk the milk boys? Dude?
We he's probably gonna be a C309 and we gotta show up there so we can fucking assassinate him
Honestly, I don't know if you're not allowed to say that or whatever, but we gotta do that
He's probably gonna be there with fucking son or something dude
I'm gonna take Baron or some shit. We get fucking John Jones to team up with us man
(36:10):
And we take him out man. He probably voted for him
Not only do we have to watch fucking 40 year old steep Amy O'Chich
But we have to watch fucking Donald J. Trump walking to a fucking crowded
But is it Madison Square Garden you don't enjoy Steve Amy O'Chich
I think he's old now dude. He hasn't fought
(36:33):
He's old as far he hasn't fought in like I think like 2018 or something like that, but
Not that but he's been like a UFC fighter for like 20 years dude puts some respect on steep a dude
He's a firefighter dude. He will freaking hose you down man. He's Serbian, too
(36:53):
It's been like his last fight was 2018
I think so, but I could be wrong, but he beat Daniel Cormier the second time
He lost him the first time but steep a is a goat dude. She is is the heavyweight goat people say
John Jones like 38
I think on Friday, we're gonna see we're gonna see Mike Tyson die and then on Saturday
(37:18):
We're gonna see fucking steep a beo just died
Back to back tragedy
God damn it. If Jake Paul on Friday
kills Mike Tyson
Dude, he gets a legendary. He's gonna deserve that. He will be my goat
Dude no live if Jake Paul live on Netflix in front of like 30 million people kills Mike Tyson
(37:46):
I'm gonna be the most insane shit that's happened on live TV
I won't let that happen to step in before them
I'm gonna break them up. Who's who's
Who's on commentary for that shit dude? Who's gonna fucking give his eulogy?
You'll step in into the ring. I'm gonna say stop fighting. You guys are both terrible
(38:12):
You guys are better than this
You guys are better than this damn it Jake with your your awesome
What did you do before this beautiful pecs top 10 team 10 or whatever team team 10?
I'm not really familiar with what you do
Don't know you that well, and I remember your vines from when you were like 16 and honestly, I thought Logan was
(38:34):
Were you the kid?
Were you the kid I get a spoonful guy? I'm not really familiar with your stuff
Did you walk into that dead body in Japan or something like that?
Is that you oh my god, were you the back flip guy? I don't know
(38:54):
Guy were you the watermelon guys?
Okay, there's too many classic vines. I think I both ways though
Mike Tyson could also kill Jake Paul or is it Jake?
They're using heavy ass gloves, so they're not gonna really do too much damage
(39:16):
I think they're doing like 10 rounds two minute rounds or something like that
Which is really quick quick math for you quick math
Do don't even come on man. Don't flex on me dude. I know math to ask me any equation any
Quickly quick math all for x 7x equals 14. Okay, too X is to oh
(39:45):
Shit dude, you might be a fucking genius
My brain is weighing so heavily on this day the problem of having so much mental power is that you're supposed to use it for
The good of man and also the world you have you have so much brain power you have constant headaches
That's sure. I actually do have constant headaches
(40:07):
But it's usually because I go in a long walk and I overcook my head and then I go
It's cold or something and I look at a screen in it. It honestly feels terrible
Yeah, but uh
Yeah, I'm a change the climate change
Climate not I climate change that's fucking global warming. I mean like going out
(40:28):
There's a cold warning. What kind of global warning is there?
Dude, it's have you not heard of the ultra beast and the ultra beast is coming the ultra
It's just taking the ball the fucking ultra beast is taking over. Oh shit, dude
That is a good global warning. Now. Usually I think they're bullshit that one that one actually qualifies. I think yeah
(40:50):
Yeah, usually global warnings are like fucking asteroids and meteors and shit. Yeah, I guess I better armor up dude
I do have my father's old armor to wear
They're gonna recruit people like a new lawn. I believe
To fight the ultra beast to power different big robots. I believe and
And I'm ready man. I'm ready for the the mental torment
(41:14):
Do you have the fortitude to do this I always do dude, I've been training by smacking my head every day
Just consistently bashing my head. Yeah, I've given myself basically CTE my motor functions are
50% right now, but I think that's for for the better, you know, I've sort of doled my
(41:35):
Exactly my passion. So I'm kind of the perfect soldier right now. I have no will of my own
I'm an agent you created your own super soldier the government
Yeah, I loved I would love to get the super soldier serum
I would see the thing is I have the same almost the same proportions as Steve Rogers pre pre bulk up, dude
(41:59):
Except he was pretty much pretty skinny pre. I'm bulky bro. I'm both pre serum
Pre serum. That's you. I'm a I'm buffer more handsome
Small Chris Evans and once you put that serum in me, man. So what would the super soldier serum really even do?
It would it would level me up you idiot
(42:20):
You walk out and nothing has changed. I would be fine with that. It would have to give me mental powers
That's the next evolution dude cuz it made him the perfect man, but I have to go beyond a man
Dude next step evolution man. I get the tail back. That'd be awesome
Dude our lost tail I get the tail back and I get horns and I get wings and
(42:44):
Telepathy telepathy did wings would be sick wings would be sick, but they're really gross skin wings that I have to really
Treat
They grow out like fucking overtime, but not instantly. It's just nasty if there's just bones pop sticking out dude
That's awesome dude. Let's get like you get through the middle stage. We're like, I don't know if it's gonna grow anymore
(43:06):
I cannot find like laughing them for people convenience, but hey think about it. I can get that handicap sticker, bro
You can't like go to a movie theater or like a restaurant with a booth
People are like
Can you move that I'm like dude, it's a part
(43:28):
I have to sit in the back trust me when I get my wings fully out
People people respect the wings they do but I have to like
Put I glue feathers on them so people are less disturbed by them because they are very veiny and almost
Plastic surgery the most handsome people's faces onto the wings so that people are less disturbed
(43:52):
It looks like I'm hanging out with freaking who the handsomest man
The guy from Grey's Anatomy
of my best boys
I would love to go to the country. He thinks gonna win fucking most beautiful man of the year
(44:14):
Most beautiful man. It could be anyone this year. Honestly, I would say I'm in the running for sure
I think you missed it this year. You missed the cut just by a little bit man. I
I didn't get enough votes. Yeah, I am and you didn't advertise enough. It's your own problem. Um, but
I think I'm in the running. I think
(44:34):
Laquice Stanfield's in the running. I think who else is like a new young young new bio young man kind of beautiful
Maybe like Dev Patel. You see that's the lookalike cop. Dev Patel. Oh, dude
The Dev Patel lookalike in the city. I was at my my siblings house and I was like we gotta go to the Dev Patel contest
(44:55):
I got to enter this thing cuz
Honestly, dude, I do have a little bit of facial hair right now. It's not gonna brag
It's nothing major, but I think it could get me the duck could have won the Dev Patel lookalike contest
I think I could have been I you just got to really show you gotta have confidence first of all like the guy who won
Kind of does look like Dev Patel
So do I. Ah fuck you got me there dude. I
(45:22):
did get
But I'm over it dude. I'll do the next celebrity lookalike contest. I
Sort of mold my face to theirs. I
I'm like banking on who it's gonna be next and I get plastic surgery to look exactly like them and it never happened
You got why does it always have to be like these these attractive celebrities you give me what fucking give me an ugly guy
(45:48):
Fucking lookalike contest. It's like a good good ugly. Let's do
Fucking Paul Giamatti lookalike contest
When you let's do it boys
No, it's gonna be so exactly there's no young ugly people in Hollywood right now dude. What is up with that man?
(46:10):
I can't think of anything young ugly fucking just disgusting vile
We used to have ugly actors pretty consistently. I feel like it was much more realistic you watch any even even like who are these people?
They're so fucking disgusting you go back in the day, dude
You go to like the 20s and 30s to those guys were fucking
(46:31):
Like heart throbs, but they were ugly as shit
Yeah, and that's because people cared more about personality and it's because ho culture hadn't developed yet room. That's the worst thing
Yeah, dude no actor was in their whole face quite yet
Yeah, once once the freaking flappers of the 20s moved in that shit started rolling and and nobody could stop it man
(46:53):
It's awful man. We yeah, women used to love them. Hopefully both never be in his ho era
dude
Charlie Chaplin he had to be funny just so he could find a
Boyfriend-free girlfriend dude. It was tragic man. The male loneliness epidemic was even going with was not even going on
He had he had to grow at that cool mustache just
(47:16):
It was popular then dude. He was times people of the year man Hitler, so he was like damn I guess this isn't style right now
He thought he was fucking you sing LeRon or some fucking person dude. He didn't read the magazine who read
It's fuck it. It sucks that like
Hitler just like
(47:38):
Yeah, I can ruin that type of mustache
Michael Jordan
Michael Jordan did that yeah, dude, but I mean you kind of have to be the goat to like over like that's
Compensating one you see anything like a compensate for the Hitler stash
(48:00):
I'm Michael Jordan could have worn anything and also when you're tall and skinny like that think clothes just fit you well man
I gotta be honest man. You just you you put that shit on no matter like your brawn could show up
To the Lakers game with the Hitler mustache tomorrow and nobody would say a word
Yeah, dude. He's there go not just brawny. Do brawny's even too intimidated to say shit like that
(48:20):
And he's in the locker and like dad. Hey dad. He's changed your visual hair. It actually looks great
Hey, dad. I mean well in his mind. He's thinking my dad is fucking Hitler dude. How do I use her pimp as king basketball?
Actually dude
King basketball King basketball. I was brawny. I'm trying to figure out a way to become King basketball and brawny
(48:42):
Here's a little tip stop wearing that white shirt under your jersey. It does not like fly it doesn't at all
Fucking that's that's how I used to wear jerseys to school in middle school just cuz I didn't want to show off my armpits
It looks bad you should you should have worn a hood. It looks terrible
You should have worn a hoodie under it looks that looks like that looks fuck
(49:07):
Even if it's hot man, where's some cool shit dude? Yeah exactly man
Oh
Someone ask someone if they know who fucking brawny is. Oh, oh you mean Prince basketball, dude?
Son of King
Son of King basketball LeBron James. Oh my god, dude. That's so awesome dude
I would love to meet LeBron James and I
(49:29):
Wonder if what kind of cologne he wears also?
I would probably copy his style
Have you have you seen the LeBron?
Collab with Hennessy dude. Oh, yeah, I did see
I saw like a meme or was like
LeBron in me or something
Tonight's gonna be a movie dude LeBron's gonna be in me
(49:54):
Would you let that happen just for publicity
I don't know would you let LeBron would you be a would you be a courtesan of LeBron?
He's my good dude I got it have to oh my god, I
(50:16):
Would just I wouldn't even I would I wouldn't even taint the LeBron is see dude. I just drink it straight
Oh, yeah, that's true. I would too man
I would love I would love to drink a whole bottle of it and see how I was
See if I start getting good at basketball or something like that
Exactly drinking a whole bottle you're just the greatest
We do a one-on-one where we both drink an entire bottle of LeBron is see and see who wins a basketball game first to 21 or something
(50:46):
We play horse with with LeBron is he did the bottle
You know as the crown Royale bottles that don't break and it's evil break really easily. Yeah
I am
Actually down to do that. Yeah, dude. That sounds fun, but also pretty nasty actually. Maybe it tastes good. I'm not saying
(51:06):
Both of us are already pretty bad at basketball
You know that video where that guy's like he's like Snoop Dogg drink a whole little bottle Hennessy
Shit if I do it shit if I do it and then he just drinks it and he's just like convulsing as soon as it touches his top
(51:30):
Funny doesn't sound
Thanks for listening if you listened look at the tick tocks if they're there and
always forget
To say happy birthday to you so I can take your place as her son
Killing Mike Tyson, Jake Paul get legendary status, but he doesn't deserve it. He's none. He's done nothing to earn it
(00:06):
The money he has is fucking still mind use climbing up, bro
Welcome to episode 14 of milf the podcast the show the movie the show
Dude, so we're gonna get a movie soon. I just know it
I'm gonna really love it like a Smosh the movie style movie or a Shane Dawson not funny or not cool or whatever it was
(00:33):
Not not cool dude. One of the top five greatest we have all time
Yeah, more like not enjoyable
Did you used to watch Shane Dawson
Siblings did though and I was like here in the background like
It's fucking shit like I'm into fucking college
(00:54):
Man like I'm beyond
Yeah, it's got it's got the word college in it. It's like I'm above you
Burnham clips guys, you don't even understand
You couldn't fucking comprehend the shit. I'm off. I used to watch their anime that's so that was my favorite. Oh
Yeah, they're like the condoms are like a I remember like a weed one like a joint a lot
(01:19):
Like an answer more picture and a beer a beer was there
That's awesome. That's all the things college you know college. That's the best part
Yeah, exactly. We love
Beer party sex weed like it's all like it doesn't take much to get us going trust me actually we're not
(01:42):
Yeah
You're speaking
Dude
2003 and below are you kidding me man? We're college age my little cousin's
My little cousins in college and I'm worried he's gonna get lonely. Honestly. That's my biggest worry for him
That's
Does he did he just start his roommate is a junior?
(02:04):
Yeah, he's roommates
Jay
Gonna go into some crazy
I'm not shit dude. This is what happens when you lag bro
It infects all your conversations suddenly thing on some sort of anti-semite bro, and I'm not dude
I love all Semitic people's and
(02:25):
His roommates a junior he has nothing in common with he's like a rugby player and all he does is play in a mural basketball
Cuz it's probably a record
No, dude, he plays in a mural basketball
He's not even good enough to be on the actual team bro. No offense. I love cousin. I love him dearly
But we don't have that's still cold
(02:46):
Has your day been?
Solid I just you know
Did honestly I woke up late today, and I felt bad it was I woke up at like how late was it?
I felt like shit well I
Woke up at like 1130 and I didn't feel like shit. So what does that say about me?
You think I'm bullshit you think I'm bullshit
(03:09):
No, I think you're fine. I just I didn't feel good
I think it's just because I've been sick the whole weekend that I still felt like shit
Bro you are you seem to be in a constant state of sickness. I'm worried about you every time we text
I feel like one out of four times you say you're sick, and I'm worried honestly
I mean this time it was I could pretty sure it was just allergies, but you never know it could be the one
(03:33):
You know could be the one to take me my third it
It can always be the one dude everybody's out to get us all the time. I stub my toe. We have so many enemies
Yeah, it's true. It's true. I mean I can't walk a block without running into some of my ops, bro. Honestly
(03:57):
It's crazy, it's crazy
It's a dude, and they recognize me from afar because my fits are so hard. That's what that's
Down the block is the high school where all of your ops are dude
That's dude. Okay. I was walking to the store the other day to get chips for my sister and
(04:19):
Yeah, yeah, and I ran into I was walking past the local middle school
I will not say I guess
And so there were some kids out front and I was walking behind them as they were walking ahead of me
I'm like Danny's kids are slow so I'm gonna pass them like really quickly and
They turn around and the girls like can we use your phone?
And
(04:41):
They had to call one of them had to call their dad to pick them up or whatever
But and it was fine
But I was like these kids are like making me feel bad and I feel bad about that like why am I getting anxious around these kids?
I was like I didn't freak out, but I the pressure was on and I'm like no I feel it
(05:02):
Dude, the middle school kids are the most intimidating like people of all time. You don't know. Yeah, and I'm gonna be nicer
If they're gonna absolutely roast the show
And the dad called back and I was like a block away
So I just had to be on the phone with him for like a little bit
It's like I waited it out for like 10 seconds, but then I was like, oh, yeah, hold on
(05:24):
And I know your kids are back there
And I was like dude, what is it? I hope these kids think I'm cool, but they definitely don't do
I don't have
Did you have that shit on I know dude
I had this black polo on that kind of made me look not it looked like it made me look
I was going to a job which isn't just the coolest fit, but
(05:48):
At least maybe they thought you had like a nice job and I was wearing boots. I was wearing boots. I
Looked like they're like damn do something trust worthy
Yeah, that's true. They probably thought I was like cool like I don't know how old kids think I would be
But I hope they respected me this kind of like you have like
(06:11):
Just like the XR. I think man pretty old. I've been dropping is it something they would make fun of
Dude, I don't know kids man kids are they're on something different. They seem normal. They seem normal
Latino children love them gotta love them
and I was just yeah, it was
They didn't make they weren't mean they're they were pretty cordial
(06:34):
They were like talking a little bit with themselves while I was standing right next to them like guys
What are we talking about of skibbity wrist?
The worst
Well
(06:55):
You guys catch the episode kick pitowski last night
Chick-Bitowski and one more pair of canes. That's what that's my last one. That's my last one
Does the XD dude it was for the cool kids. They didn't seem like they didn't seem like a grabby
Oh, no, you can tell you can tell you can tell when a kid is grabbing foals type to you Peter kid energy
(07:16):
Like
At least they weren't on their Steven universe type shit. Yeah
Dave that's where it drops off man, but I have seen
Most of Steven universe and I hate to say it
But I just wanted the Adventure Time vibes without having to rewatch Adventure Time again, and you know what?
It was it had its moment. It had its moments. It was mostly corny. It was 90% corny and
(07:41):
I was in the same situation
that you yeah
With kids or back in the universe, you know back in high school
Well, I was I would like go to the McDonald's after school and like that's where the middle school is and
Maybe like once out of every five times a kid would come up to me and be like
Can I call what can I call my mom on your phone?
(08:04):
And then I think one time
Well, yeah, I mean I had you I you know I felt pressured
I'm a very easily pressured guy
Like me and my cousin with one time that happened to us were like an a lady like a grown lady when we were like 12 or whatever
Like she asked to use our phones to call somebody and we were like do we have to beat this lady up because we were so
(08:27):
about like
like battle fantasies that like this was like her trying to kidnap us and
We had to like fight her off which we were always happy to do
You guys were strategizing how to take this woman out
I'm not even strategizing. We just want we wanted blood dude. I don't know what it was
There was something about us that was so like we wanted violence or something
(08:51):
I
Remember I was downtown once with like my group of friends back in middle school and one time
We were all walking just like to get some food and this guy just comes out of nowhere out of the gas station
He's like oh
Guys, can I have a dollar? I just need one dollar or no, he's like two dollars
I just need two dollars for some gas and we were in my group of friends and most of us were like
(09:14):
No, dude, this dude's fucking creepy shit. He's gonna molest us or some shit
And then but me being just the naive kid I was I was like, I don't fuck it
I'll give him a dollar and so me and my other friend we gave him just two dollars and he grabbed it and he was like
Oh my god. Thank you guys. You guys saved my life. Uh, you know, I'll buy you whatever you guys want
I'll get you some weed if you want weed
(09:37):
Why didn't you take him up, dude?
And that's how you know you that's how you know you guys were lame kids, dude
You weren't even willing to party with this dude
Dude, do you want to spark up with him, bro?
I was an 11 year old kid who did not want to party with like an at least 40 year old man
Oh my god, you were lame, bro
Anytime you receive an invitation from an older adult when at whatever they do man
(09:59):
You're supposed to take them up on it man. It's required any opportunity to say yes
You got to say yes, dude. Just think about it the coolest kids hang out with old people
Exactly
Like damn bro like let alone hanging out with a senior bro. You're hanging out with a 34 year old like that's dope
(10:20):
Exactly the older. They are the cooler you are, you know
Yeah, exactly, but it does sort of horseshoe once they get too much wisdom and you're like are you even partying anymore?
Exactly it becomes lame. What's what's the caught-off age when it becomes late?
Probably like 81. Oh
That's high up. I was I was saying 50. Oh
(10:42):
No, dude, 50 year olds can party man. You don't know 50 year olds like that. I guess I don't know many
50 year olds were you hanging out with 50 year olds? It's like a 10 year old kid. What is this happening?
Took me a while to level up to 50, but once I was 13. I was secured in in the friend group
I was we go to bars and they'd see I was a kid. What the fuck would you guys talk about?
(11:06):
Oh all sorts of like how school was going like what girls I liked and like
Stuff like that man. They were really chill always there for advice
Um, yeah met them all on kick, bro. It was pretty tight
We had this sick kick group chat this kick and don't even get me started on the group chat names, bro. They went crazy
(11:30):
Everybody knows
Oh, man, this takes me back. Sorry. I can't even remember so
These are some memories that go way the fuck back
There was the Hardy boys when we had our mystery phase
Yeah, so it's all based on just like the groups of just young boys
(11:54):
Oh, okay, we had a South Park
Who can blame some old dudes for wanting to relive the past because it's honestly gone from I
watched a Japanese movie recently called Ikiru about an old guy that was dying and didn't do anything with his life
So he was sad that's that's that's when you're old and you don't do shit
(12:18):
And he was he had cancer
So he's like I'm gonna build a park and that it was so sweet and he was swinging in the swinging and then he died
spoilish
But very similar to the movie we bought a zoo
Dude, he's not old or Japanese you dumbass. He's fucking Mark Ruffalo
We're Matt Damon
Isn't it is it Matt Damon? I thought it is Matt. It is Matt Damon
(12:42):
Mark Ruffalo is sort of the Italian version of
Matt Damon, I think
That's even Irish
Yeah, yeah, I think it does he's from Boston dude every single person in Boston has Irish in them
It's impossible. It's a good. I didn't watch a good will hunting last night with my mom. Did you?
(13:05):
I can solve these problems easy. I can solve these problems easy
You don't even understand how easy this shit is for us. Don't say it's not your fault
We should just start we should just start
Bar for bar just reading movies
(13:25):
Like a table read, but it's just I've been think okay doing it without like just doing it for ourselves
Like we could have a good time, but like if there's too many presences like you'll be like too self-aware and you'll be like no
This is bullshit. Let's
I
Feel like this is something we would have done like a year or two ago and just it would have been the greatest night
(13:50):
It's I actually thought this earlier today I was looking out in a show
I was watching they were talking about like doing like a read of like some play or something
I'm like why does that's fun if you just have you do that with a circle of friends, but it's also like really
You guys want you guys want to fuck around and just do a table read real quick
(14:10):
Dude, they're fucking first of
Well, whoever created us cursed us with consciousness, bro. Why can't we just have fun and nobody's allowed to have fun?
everything is embarrassing
Turn off the party your brain where you cringe at yourself, dude
Exactly man the shame the shame button bro. I literally need to press that but I can't reach deep enough kids kids
(14:32):
Don't have that dude when I was a kid. I would just do whatever sounded fun
No, man, I had that from an early age. I got embarrassed from an early age. I think I was a
Was the earliest embarrassment memory
God I was oh god. I don't even want to get into it, but I was playing soccer shout out the AYSO
Association something shout out soccer shout out football
(14:56):
Yeah, shout out football
Me and my beautiful other fellow Latino boys playing soccer in the dirt in the mud
But I was on it was I was on break or whatever whatever it's called
I was not playing in the moment and I was just sort of like I was I was short
I guess so my eye line was far away from adults
So I didn't really get much thought to it
(15:18):
But I ended up thinking it was my dad or I thought I saw my dad and I like leaned on him and kind of just like
I was a little kid
So I was just like grabbing him a little because I was like a clingy weird kid and it was not my dad
(15:40):
That's happened to me so
So many times just because my dad has like a bunch of brothers and a lot of them kind of look like this dude
so I
think one time I was at a
When someone was at a party like a like a family reunion or something and it's the back of my uncle's like
He's wearing the same fit as my dad. So I'm like patting him in the back. I'm like, oh dad dad dad
(16:02):
And he turns around he goes, I'm not your dad
And I'm I got so fucking scared is top five most like terrifying moments in my life
I still don't like that uncle even though he's a clone of your dad. Did you don't like him?
He's the easy your dad's you look
He has like lighter like hair. He has like my dad's brothers are also kind of like slight variations of him
(16:27):
He's the oldest so I feel comfortable saying that but they just kind of look they're like him
But a little off he has the party brother and the nerd brother and that's kind of awesome
It's like the perfect like TV show is in the middle
Like that personality wise he kind of like blends both
(16:49):
But you say that and then you're like wow, I just don't know them like I know my dad so that kind of makes sense
But a nerd uncle's in the air food there in the spectrum. Yeah, exactly
And the spectrum of brothers the actual most beautiful spectrum in existence. Yeah
There's nothing more beautiful than having a brother to die for you
(17:09):
That sounds awesome
That's why I joined the marines my band my band of brothers. Exactly. That's why I joined the Marines, man
Would you consider joining the Marines? Maybe if I watch like a really good Marines movie before I think I'd get
Platoons really good man, I think they're Marines I want to say
(17:29):
Put on some platoons
It's pretty fire and willem de faux smokes weed in it dude
And you're like oh my and he has like a sexual tension with Charlie sheen
He like blows the smoke into his mouth and I like
Yeah, this is awesome
This is why I signed up. This is why I signed up on top gun Maverick
Put on some top gun Maverick, dude, and I would like sign up that you're that vulnerable to propaganda, bro
(17:58):
You're weak I'm prok, you're weak. No, that's the machine. You're the freaking hog, bro
I'm about to beat you up for saying that I would never serve my country
My country's a villain I
Would probably serve I would actually rather serve the people being attacked than the freaking attackers, bro
Damn, dude, you got it. You kind of got a hero's mentality
(18:19):
I honestly do and I think I could do it single-handedly as well. Like it's not even that big
Yeah, like work honestly, I just I'm waiting
I'm trying to get I exercise for like an hour today, but then I ate a really a lot of really nasty food
I can't look see you
You can't like no net gain here today. I'm glad to square one, dude
(18:44):
So many I ate like three lollipops
Just like leftover Halloween kid was trying to do math I was like how bad yeah exactly
But I was like how bad is this for you is is one lollipop like
equal to like three gummy bears
Is 6,000 calories there's no way dude that doesn't even sound real to me
(19:07):
But I'm willing to believe you because you are my sweet
Okay, believe me and you had you had 1800 calories to I honestly like that number so it's fine with me
But I'm worried about myself man. What's gonna happen to me and there's government it to do you get oh
(19:27):
Dude, those are the best ones though
Yeah, but the tootsie pops have blue flavors. So this one's honestly a little weak
Yeah, what were you saying?
Did you get any trick-or-treaters for Halloween?
We got like three groups. Are you at home?
Yeah, I was at home. I nobody invited me to any cool hangouts or anything like that and I was all dressed up
(19:51):
So it was honestly really disappointing. Yeah, dude. I had a full I had a very intricate costume and just nobody hit me up
Dude
Machine I was watching
To or some shit I was wearing my fucking yeah, I was wearing a watching Thursday night football
I was I was Arnold Schwarzenegger from a predator in it
(20:12):
And I was really I put a lot of work into it and nobody gave me the call
Nobody invited me to hang out. It was
It was the one year where I was like, yeah, you know what I'm gonna do a costume this year
I had
I had it I had an electrician come and do the shit and dude. I was a full-blown transformer
I I fucking turned into the the big-ass truck and then I
(20:37):
You should have seen it, but you know
Pretty early to go to light city shit
I went to like downtown and stuff to see if there's anything going on fully dressed, of course and
Nobody out in the streets was like recognizing my costume really that much there. It just thought I was a military guy
I'm like, no it's so much deeper than that
But none of them even oh your army guy
(20:59):
None of them even asked my number to text to hang or anything like that was honestly fucked up dude
Yeah, man. Nobody was like yo sick costume was hang
Especially when I'm a 10 and they're usually like fives and sixes like I don't even understand like the math is not math thing
anyone exactly
Fucked up even out dude two fives for a 10 and my fucking
(21:23):
My fucking bulletproof vest was a fucking it was a microtop. It was a crop top
You can see my belly button bulletproof that's
Yeah bulletproof vest like work like if I were to shoot you would it like deflect or I guess absorb
Well, we're I'm willing to try it at any time. I have no lust for life anymore since that day
So I'm willing to fully experiment back. It's fully simulated a hundred percent accurate test results
(21:49):
I did bite off Etsy, so we'll see but like I don't even care
Honestly, I feel so embarrassed those kids made me feel bad about myself and now Halloween is happening and it's over now
It's a holiday weekend is over
It's over dude. All the weekend. What do I have to show for it except for 18,000 calories consumed man?
(22:17):
And an 18,000 dollar costume an 18,000 I put so much money into the big gun, bro
It's actually half real it was an investment
If I put bullets into it sometimes they just don't
I'm not there's there's like a couple groups of kids who came over to my place
(22:37):
I meant to trick-or-treat and
I just throughout the week
That sounds so bad. I don't know why the fuck I phrased it like that. That's insane
The other day there's a bunch of groups of kids who came like to trick-or-treat
But the very first one had me like pissed. I was like, I'm not giving out candy anymore because I had these
(23:02):
We had bought these tahin gummy bear packs and
They're pretty good. They're like wasn't that many cuz yeah, cuz they're like
Isn't a lot of kids that come over. Yeah, and the first kid that comes in trick-or-treats dude
I give him like two packs of these tahin gummy bears and he looks up at me and goes that's it
And I swear dude
I was gonna fucking point this kid to the next fucking neighborhood. This is why I was like, I'm never doing this again
(23:30):
These kids are never grateful you give and you give and they never are even a little bit
Thankful about what you're doing for the man. That's and that relates to being a mom honestly
You can give your kid as much candy as they want but they'll
Mother's give and give and dirt or whatever they rarely receive mothers are the Halloween of non-holiday things
(23:53):
Exactly
Yeah, so it's so true and I feel so utterly bad for them and that's an apology and they should be the Thanksgiving dude
And they should be thanking them every we should model the Thanksgiving turkey out of a mother
So like a maybe like um
You like just carved her to look like like sculpts to the turkey. Yeah, exactly
(24:15):
Dad's bragging about how he's gonna carve the turkey this year. Yeah, make her look into a woman
Yeah, make a perfectly accurate replica of mom out of the turkey if you think you're so good with a knife you fucking asshole man
Honestly, you fucking piece of shit piece of actual
Are you even grateful? What do you even thankful for I bet it's not her you're not even gonna mention her you're probably gonna mention
(24:41):
Oh
My
Yeah, oh yeah, what the fuck dude men are always thinking that they're the man health students. They're not
Health dude. Health means nothing without a powerful woman by your side honestly
You can even produce any progeny without her womb you insolent asshole, all right if I could choose
(25:09):
Between a great mother and great health
I choose great mother a hundred times out of on because she will heal you dude with her nurturing spirit not to say mothers
Necessarily have she will bring trade. Yeah, she will bring her presence is nurturing. That's that's it
She doesn't even have to put a band-aid on you
You
She just has to be there. She's just oh my god. That's so beautiful. Oh my god. I think I'm gonna buy my mama present
(25:34):
Oh my god
You know for every holiday we should just give our mother's presents. Yeah, I like her birthday and Christmas Labor Day present
Oh, I
Thanksgiving present it seems like it takes a little too much. Arbor Day present
That's you can't expect me to be that considerate at the end of the day because I am a man
(25:55):
It's my biggest weakness. I'm a hateful being and I'm trying to freaking overcompensate for it
But at the end of the day I am weak
I'm weak
Would you say you're more of a hater than the average person?
I'd like to say not and I don't have a good basis on how other people think I think
(26:16):
but I
Would say yet. I feel pretty judgy, but also I feel pretty kind and lovely at the same time
So it's hard to say. Yeah, what would you what do you think the dichotomy if I'm in a bad mood like I haven't I didn't
It's like 5 p.m. And I haven't eaten anything like I can be
(26:36):
Pretty angry I can get pretty loka if you know what I mean man and
God God God my chicas
God praise my enemies when I freaking don't have a bite to eat, but do you think you are too a hater man?
Ah I have a hater mentality not in a serious way
(26:59):
Mine's a little serious dude. I feel genuine even if it's something over like over something petty
I'm a hater at heart, but a lover in spirit, you know
I guess those can be different things, but I feel like they're speaking to the same thing
(27:25):
I think you can be good. I think you could just be both man
That's true dude, I believe yeah, I think yeah, it depends on the day
I'd love to be more of a lover, but this world we live in is honestly a hateful one. It's no it's no it's no thing
No, no wondering it fucking produced us little nasty beings are little acid tongues and
(27:49):
and narrowing out bro, we are evil honestly
I should get into a car crash with the world and finally put it out of its fray
I was not expecting you to say I should get into a car crash
It can happen at any moment so you should keep your eyes peeled man
(28:11):
Eyes of yours. Eyes of yours man
That's insane
I'd love to be a singer, but I'm just so shy. I'm in pretty alright
What what's about me?
What I exercised I had
(28:36):
I just ate a salad and it makes my mouth taste pungent
Yeah, I had my lollipops. I had a bunch of Tim Tams again probably like six or seven. Oh shit
Yeah, and fucking Australian serving for one thing a one is supposed to be one serving when it's only like two calories
(28:56):
Bro, that's not like 80, but still who eats one event man
I feel like I've said this before on fucking whatever dude
I'm I am living in loop and I'm trying to break out, but it's it's to no avail thus far
It's fucking
It's fucking with what's the name of the groundhogs day? I guess so there's their palm springs or
(29:19):
Fucking bomb sprigs is a thorough Jumanji at the episode
Wizards of a really place
Hannah Montana when she goes back and has to reintroduce her mom and dad it's that is my life right now
My only escape is going on long. It's your life's
Hey, dude, maybe maybe one of these days you'll fucking encounter like a
(29:41):
Magical being I saw an owl that was pretty cool. I walk into the woods and I get a bunch of bug bites that are bothering me right now
Yeah, but I did see an owl which was pretty awesome
Maybe maybe maybe next time that owl will like talk to you and give you that's what I'm hoping dude
I'm tired of it. When did we how could I get oh my god this world is such boring bullshit
(30:02):
That's why we had to add so much evil to the world because nothing interesting was happening
They probably planned out fucking colonialism because they're like wait, but unicorns don't exist
Let's do something drastic to fover com and save for that, but it's all
Yeah, fuck this if we had more magical beings
(30:23):
This world would be less evil exact
I think so dude if we had like dragons and shit the
There would be no overpopulation or whatever dude tragedy of the commons or whatever would not happen because a dinosaur would eat us and
A wizard would some shit like that and a goblin would be a normal person you racist ass like you
(30:48):
Know dude, I'd be I'd be friends with so many goblins. What are you talking about?
Friends with orcs because we're both sort of warriors
I've been actually having a lot of skyrim and I was and um yeah, yeah
It's the only game I can play it's the only game I can play man. My ps4 is dead fantasy stuff. Yeah, dude
I am I'm honestly a warrior
(31:10):
I'm investing a lot in fighting and restoration right now, which is kind of the cheapest way to play
huh
Is your PlayStation 4 just dead you cannot my controllers won't stay charged
They do not charge in the ps4 and they they're dead so it just I don't think my ps4 has the gift of life
(31:31):
But they also don't charge from the wall, so I think it's the control I could get a new controller, but that's
Fucking pointless, I don't know man. It just feels like it's all bullshit. I'm done with it video games are just something I do too to
escape from
My mental my mental and physical from harsh realities exactly and suddenly I'm a warrior in Skyrim and I'm freaking killing dragons
(31:53):
And and I'm married to a mage a
Beautiful mage and then shout out to you
It's Yola bro shout out Yola. I wore her I'm wearing her wedding band and I gave it a I gave it a bus
Oh shit
Yeah, man, she's freaking a little over my life man, but I'm trying to buy us a house right now
(32:15):
I think I'm gonna marry her dude. I did marry her dude at the temple Mara bro. Oh my god
I think she's the one I think she could be the one she's an elf. It's pretty awesome
She makes you food once a day, which she shouldn't have to but I appreciate it nonetheless
I love I love for you next time you're just with your family
(32:38):
Like exactly how you're talking I show I show them each a picture of her and I'm like what do you guys think like I
Think she could
She
Already got married she does something to me and I'm not spells bro. It's not spells
She's a mage, but that means nothing I met her at college. Yeah college at Winterhol
(33:04):
Yeah, we go way back
notice since like 2011 yeah, and
She was with me the entire time. I was working my way to archmage honestly, so I
Have nothing but respect and reliance upon her you two sound great together. Yeah, and my character is really ugly
So she know you know she's doing it for me
(33:28):
Did you just make yourself just the ugliest fucking yeah, I'm like a ginger
Like bald headed with like just crazy features. I made this account
I think probably like five years ago, and I found my safe. I just started playing that shit. I mean that's it
That's just means you guys have been together for five years. No, we I got married
(33:49):
It was I was a pretty like empty like it was pretty just beginning kind of a character
So I'm married like a month ago honestly
Dude are you on your honeymoon right now? No, dude. I'm freaking I'm doing
I'm just walking around and she stays at the College of Winterhold where she has a room
(34:11):
And I try to visit her every once in a while
It's I don't know
Dating is hard these days man. It's hard to sounds like it sounds like
That's like you play Skyrim the way many people just play the Sims
No, man, it's harder to build your kind of world. There's too many extraneous factors like an orc village
(34:35):
That doesn't like you but I am blooded. I believe so they won't attack me
This is boring talk though. Fuck nerd shit all nerd shit must die
I feel that very strongly whatever makes a nerd smile is bad to me
That's the platform. I'm running on for this year's election. I believe
Which is still coming up. I think I still have a chance to put my name on the ballot, but I will see
(35:00):
Dude the election was last week. It was last Tuesday. It was last week. Okay, and who won? Yeah
Donald J. Trump Donald J. Trump was he on the ballot this year? I got a guy, huh?
It's your guy dude. He's my guy man. I've never even met him once. Yeah, I've never even met him once
(35:24):
And if I did it's over for him
Last episode I said I was writing in Dana White. Yeah, and
It counts for Donald Trump Dana White just
Just is the president now
He's just he had a whole speech where he was like I'd like to thank the phase clan
(35:45):
Do you like to take the milk the milk boys? Dude?
We he's probably gonna be a C309 and we gotta show up there so we can fucking assassinate him
Honestly, I don't know if you're not allowed to say that or whatever, but we gotta do that
He's probably gonna be there with fucking son or something dude
I'm gonna take Baron or some shit. We get fucking John Jones to team up with us man
(36:10):
And we take him out man. He probably voted for him
Not only do we have to watch fucking 40 year old steep Amy O'Chich
But we have to watch fucking Donald J. Trump walking to a fucking crowded
But is it Madison Square Garden you don't enjoy Steve Amy O'Chich
I think he's old now dude. He hasn't fought
(36:33):
He's old as far he hasn't fought in like I think like 2018 or something like that, but
Not that but he's been like a UFC fighter for like 20 years dude puts some respect on steep a dude
He's a firefighter dude. He will freaking hose you down man. He's Serbian, too
(36:53):
It's been like his last fight was 2018
I think so, but I could be wrong, but he beat Daniel Cormier the second time
He lost him the first time but steep a is a goat dude. She is is the heavyweight goat people say
John Jones like 38
I think on Friday, we're gonna see we're gonna see Mike Tyson die and then on Saturday
(37:18):
We're gonna see fucking steep a beo just died
Back to back tragedy
God damn it. If Jake Paul on Friday
kills Mike Tyson
Dude, he gets a legendary. He's gonna deserve that. He will be my goat
Dude no live if Jake Paul live on Netflix in front of like 30 million people kills Mike Tyson
(37:46):
I'm gonna be the most insane shit that's happened on live TV
I won't let that happen to step in before them
I'm gonna break them up. Who's who's
Who's on commentary for that shit dude? Who's gonna fucking give his eulogy?
You'll step in into the ring. I'm gonna say stop fighting. You guys are both terrible
(38:12):
You guys are better than this
You guys are better than this damn it Jake with your your awesome
What did you do before this beautiful pecs top 10 team 10 or whatever team team 10?
I'm not really familiar with what you do
Don't know you that well, and I remember your vines from when you were like 16 and honestly, I thought Logan was
(38:34):
Were you the kid?
Were you the kid I get a spoonful guy? I'm not really familiar with your stuff
Did you walk into that dead body in Japan or something like that?
Is that you oh my god, were you the back flip guy? I don't know
(38:54):
Guy were you the watermelon guys?
Okay, there's too many classic vines. I think I both ways though
Mike Tyson could also kill Jake Paul or is it Jake?
They're using heavy ass gloves, so they're not gonna really do too much damage
(39:16):
I think they're doing like 10 rounds two minute rounds or something like that
Which is really quick quick math for you quick math
Do don't even come on man. Don't flex on me dude. I know math to ask me any equation any
Quickly quick math all for x 7x equals 14. Okay, too X is to oh
(39:45):
Shit dude, you might be a fucking genius
My brain is weighing so heavily on this day the problem of having so much mental power is that you're supposed to use it for
The good of man and also the world you have you have so much brain power you have constant headaches
That's sure. I actually do have constant headaches
(40:07):
But it's usually because I go in a long walk and I overcook my head and then I go
It's cold or something and I look at a screen in it. It honestly feels terrible
Yeah, but uh
Yeah, I'm a change the climate change
Climate not I climate change that's fucking global warming. I mean like going out
(40:28):
There's a cold warning. What kind of global warning is there?
Dude, it's have you not heard of the ultra beast and the ultra beast is coming the ultra
It's just taking the ball the fucking ultra beast is taking over. Oh shit, dude
That is a good global warning. Now. Usually I think they're bullshit that one that one actually qualifies. I think yeah
(40:50):
Yeah, usually global warnings are like fucking asteroids and meteors and shit. Yeah, I guess I better armor up dude
I do have my father's old armor to wear
They're gonna recruit people like a new lawn. I believe
To fight the ultra beast to power different big robots. I believe and
And I'm ready man. I'm ready for the the mental torment
(41:14):
Do you have the fortitude to do this I always do dude, I've been training by smacking my head every day
Just consistently bashing my head. Yeah, I've given myself basically CTE my motor functions are
50% right now, but I think that's for for the better, you know, I've sort of doled my
(41:35):
Exactly my passion. So I'm kind of the perfect soldier right now. I have no will of my own
I'm an agent you created your own super soldier the government
Yeah, I loved I would love to get the super soldier serum
I would see the thing is I have the same almost the same proportions as Steve Rogers pre pre bulk up, dude
(41:59):
Except he was pretty much pretty skinny pre. I'm bulky bro. I'm both pre serum
Pre serum. That's you. I'm a I'm buffer more handsome
Small Chris Evans and once you put that serum in me, man. So what would the super soldier serum really even do?
It would it would level me up you idiot
(42:20):
You walk out and nothing has changed. I would be fine with that. It would have to give me mental powers
That's the next evolution dude cuz it made him the perfect man, but I have to go beyond a man
Dude next step evolution man. I get the tail back. That'd be awesome
Dude our lost tail I get the tail back and I get horns and I get wings and
(42:44):
Telepathy telepathy did wings would be sick wings would be sick, but they're really gross skin wings that I have to really
Treat
They grow out like fucking overtime, but not instantly. It's just nasty if there's just bones pop sticking out dude
That's awesome dude. Let's get like you get through the middle stage. We're like, I don't know if it's gonna grow anymore
(43:06):
I cannot find like laughing them for people convenience, but hey think about it. I can get that handicap sticker, bro
You can't like go to a movie theater or like a restaurant with a booth
People are like
Can you move that I'm like dude, it's a part
(43:28):
I have to sit in the back trust me when I get my wings fully out
People people respect the wings they do but I have to like
Put I glue feathers on them so people are less disturbed by them because they are very veiny and almost
Plastic surgery the most handsome people's faces onto the wings so that people are less disturbed
(43:52):
It looks like I'm hanging out with freaking who the handsomest man
The guy from Grey's Anatomy
of my best boys
I would love to go to the country. He thinks gonna win fucking most beautiful man of the year
(44:14):
Most beautiful man. It could be anyone this year. Honestly, I would say I'm in the running for sure
I think you missed it this year. You missed the cut just by a little bit man. I
I didn't get enough votes. Yeah, I am and you didn't advertise enough. It's your own problem. Um, but
I think I'm in the running. I think
(44:34):
Laquice Stanfield's in the running. I think who else is like a new young young new bio young man kind of beautiful
Maybe like Dev Patel. You see that's the lookalike cop. Dev Patel. Oh, dude
The Dev Patel lookalike in the city. I was at my my siblings house and I was like we gotta go to the Dev Patel contest
(44:55):
I got to enter this thing cuz
Honestly, dude, I do have a little bit of facial hair right now. It's not gonna brag
It's nothing major, but I think it could get me the duck could have won the Dev Patel lookalike contest
I think I could have been I you just got to really show you gotta have confidence first of all like the guy who won
Kind of does look like Dev Patel
So do I. Ah fuck you got me there dude. I
(45:22):
did get
But I'm over it dude. I'll do the next celebrity lookalike contest. I
Sort of mold my face to theirs. I
I'm like banking on who it's gonna be next and I get plastic surgery to look exactly like them and it never happened
You got why does it always have to be like these these attractive celebrities you give me what fucking give me an ugly guy
(45:48):
Fucking lookalike contest. It's like a good good ugly. Let's do
Fucking Paul Giamatti lookalike contest
When you let's do it boys
No, it's gonna be so exactly there's no young ugly people in Hollywood right now dude. What is up with that man?
(46:10):
I can't think of anything young ugly fucking just disgusting vile
We used to have ugly actors pretty consistently. I feel like it was much more realistic you watch any even even like who are these people?
They're so fucking disgusting you go back in the day, dude
You go to like the 20s and 30s to those guys were fucking
(46:31):
Like heart throbs, but they were ugly as shit
Yeah, and that's because people cared more about personality and it's because ho culture hadn't developed yet room. That's the worst thing
Yeah, dude no actor was in their whole face quite yet
Yeah, once once the freaking flappers of the 20s moved in that shit started rolling and and nobody could stop it man
(46:53):
It's awful man. We yeah, women used to love them. Hopefully both never be in his ho era
dude
Charlie Chaplin he had to be funny just so he could find a
Boyfriend-free girlfriend dude. It was tragic man. The male loneliness epidemic was even going with was not even going on
He had he had to grow at that cool mustache just
(47:16):
It was popular then dude. He was times people of the year man Hitler, so he was like damn I guess this isn't style right now
He thought he was fucking you sing LeRon or some fucking person dude. He didn't read the magazine who read
It's fuck it. It sucks that like
Hitler just like
(47:38):
Yeah, I can ruin that type of mustache
Michael Jordan
Michael Jordan did that yeah, dude, but I mean you kind of have to be the goat to like over like that's
Compensating one you see anything like a compensate for the Hitler stash
(48:00):
I'm Michael Jordan could have worn anything and also when you're tall and skinny like that think clothes just fit you well man
I gotta be honest man. You just you you put that shit on no matter like your brawn could show up
To the Lakers game with the Hitler mustache tomorrow and nobody would say a word
Yeah, dude. He's there go not just brawny. Do brawny's even too intimidated to say shit like that
(48:20):
And he's in the locker and like dad. Hey dad. He's changed your visual hair. It actually looks great
Hey, dad. I mean well in his mind. He's thinking my dad is fucking Hitler dude. How do I use her pimp as king basketball?
Actually dude
King basketball King basketball. I was brawny. I'm trying to figure out a way to become King basketball and brawny
(48:42):
Here's a little tip stop wearing that white shirt under your jersey. It does not like fly it doesn't at all
Fucking that's that's how I used to wear jerseys to school in middle school just cuz I didn't want to show off my armpits
It looks bad you should you should have worn a hood. It looks terrible
You should have worn a hoodie under it looks that looks like that looks fuck
(49:07):
Even if it's hot man, where's some cool shit dude? Yeah exactly man
Oh
Someone ask someone if they know who fucking brawny is. Oh, oh you mean Prince basketball, dude?
Son of King
Son of King basketball LeBron James. Oh my god, dude. That's so awesome dude
I would love to meet LeBron James and I
(49:29):
Wonder if what kind of cologne he wears also?
I would probably copy his style
Have you have you seen the LeBron?
Collab with Hennessy dude. Oh, yeah, I did see
I saw like a meme or was like
LeBron in me or something
Tonight's gonna be a movie dude LeBron's gonna be in me
(49:54):
Would you let that happen just for publicity
I don't know would you let LeBron would you be a would you be a courtesan of LeBron?
He's my good dude I got it have to oh my god, I
(50:16):
Would just I wouldn't even I would I wouldn't even taint the LeBron is see dude. I just drink it straight
Oh, yeah, that's true. I would too man
I would love I would love to drink a whole bottle of it and see how I was
See if I start getting good at basketball or something like that
Exactly drinking a whole bottle you're just the greatest
We do a one-on-one where we both drink an entire bottle of LeBron is see and see who wins a basketball game first to 21 or something
(50:46):
We play horse with with LeBron is he did the bottle
You know as the crown Royale bottles that don't break and it's evil break really easily. Yeah
I am
Actually down to do that. Yeah, dude. That sounds fun, but also pretty nasty actually. Maybe it tastes good. I'm not saying
(51:06):
Both of us are already pretty bad at basketball
You know that video where that guy's like he's like Snoop Dogg drink a whole little bottle Hennessy
Shit if I do it shit if I do it and then he just drinks it and he's just like convulsing as soon as it touches his top
(51:30):
Funny doesn't sound
Thanks for listening if you listened look at the tick tocks if they're there and
always forget
To say happy birthday to you so I can take your place as her son
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