July 17, 2025 • 56 mins
Say yes to everything unless it gets you killed... is Phillip Headrick's life philosophy that he shares on this episode with host, Nicole Swisher. Join Nicole and Phillip as we chat about:
• Daily affirmations and meditations with a wandering mind.
• Why we love dogs.
• Being buddies with exes.
• Time limits for first dates and judging people on cutlery use.
• The importance of trying new things as adults.
• Phillip's journey to make the perfect salsa.
Subscribe now and join this exploration of what it means to live a happy life in an increasingly complicated world.
Host: Nicole Swisher
Guest: Phillip Headrick
Recommendations:
- The Redefector Podcast
- All the Colors of the Dark by Chris Whitaker
- Diary of a CEO (March 17, 2025 Episode with The Speaking Coach)
Connect with Nicole:
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Tielka Affiliate Link - For amazing tea!
Bon Charge Affiliate Link - Get some red light and block those nasty EMFs!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Welcome to my crunchy zen era.
We're not exactly sure what itmeans, but we're figuring it out
.
I'm Nicole Swisher, and todaymy guest is Philip Hedrick.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Hello Nicole.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Hi Philip, How's it going?
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Fantastic.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Good.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
by the way, I'm so excited.
I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
How long have going.
Fantastic Good.
Thank you for having me, by theway.
I'm so excited.
I appreciate it.
How long have we been talkingabout it?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
I'd say longer than a few weeks probably.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Month section.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I like it.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
I thought we'd start by just giving a background of
how we even met, because I thinkit's funny.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
So we met at a stand-up comedy class, class
number one.
I remember being extremelynervous because I was assuming I
was walking into full-fledgedcomedians and I was going to be
the only one that didn't knowanything, and I think you and I
were paired together for writinga first joke.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Yeah, but we found each other wandering in the hall
, I think.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
And then we walked in and we hit it off and then
later Mark, our teacher, waslike I thought you guys knew
each other.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
We came in as friends .
You just had this calming.
You made me calm.
I was a little nervous and I'vealways told you this You're
very calm and your energy keepsme calm, so I was like this is
the one.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
And we stuck together through the whole thing.
Yeah, and we did.
Do we were paired for thatfirst joke about my mom's horse?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Yes, it was a horse joke, it was a horse joke Not a
great one.
I don't remember it, but Iremember going.
I hope this gets better.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
I remember a little bit Something about a hairdryer,
but yeah, that was super fun.
Yeah, it was yeah, I feel likeI wasn't nervous for the class
because I just figured I'm justgoing to be super bad, so it
doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
But I also figured.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Everyone had tons of stand up experience and for me I
didn't.
I don't think I realized whatwent into writing jokes.
I thought I was just going toshow up and all of a sudden
people are just going to startbeing funny and then I was going
to start riffing.
But I really enjoyed like theprocess of learning how to write
and you helped me a lot withediting.
I have a big problem withwriting very big jokes and
you're like take 90% of that outand do this.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
I'm like perfect.
I've always loved editing.
You're very good at that, Verygood.
That was my favorite part.
But yeah, I was writing a jokelast night and I was like stop
editing, Just write it.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Are you sitting down more often and writing now?
I?
Speaker 1 (02:27):
just kind of started again, Cause I feel like my
brain was like I just don't havecapacity for anything.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
So it's fine.
I've gotten started back too.
I find for me it's better Iwalk and talk instead of sitting
and writing.
So I make laps in my kitchenand living area, and just I.
So I make laps in my kitchenand living area, and just I'm
not sure my neighbors are likewhat is happening in there.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
He's telling the same thing over and over that's what
I used to do, but then, likewith my roommate, I've had to be
like okay remember there'ssomebody in the house he's
trying to read.
You're like, okay, sit downyeah luckily our like schedules
are super different and so likewhen he is working, then I try
to like take advantage of doingthat.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Works out anything weird yeah, right, in a one hour
period, do all the weird stuff.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Yes, exactly um okay.
So I was gonna ask you have youdone something crunchy or zen
lately?
Speaker 2 (03:18):
so I've recently moved into a new place and I'm
trying to create new like dailyroutines for myself, um and I
would assume this falls underthat but one of them is like
self daily attribute, likeattributions or or you're kind
of talking in the mirror toyourself.
It's a tough thing for mebecause I I end up riffing on
(03:38):
myself in the mirror so I'llstart with, you know you're a
good person, people love you.
You probably should do somethingwith this bag area under here.
And then I get the lotion andI'm like whoa, whoa, whoa, focus
on.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
The exact opposite, the exact opposite.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
I did that on meditation.
I've tried to do kind of thoseself-guided meditations, you
know, put the headphones on, siton the floor, and I think I've
made it.
Maybe three minutes into mostof them I just I'm either asleep
, because if I you know me I'm aconstant motion.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
And sitting.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
For me, it's like I'm either sitting down to eat or
I'm going to sleep.
So I'm trying, I'm going tokeep focused at it.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I think it's going to take some effort, but I've been
trying to do those affirmationstoo, actually it well, I
started a while back and then Ilost it, and now I've been like
do that again and so for me it'slike you're smart, you have a
good memory, there's historythere, yeah, um, you're fun,
(04:41):
you're healed, and I do think itlike made a difference when I
was consistently doing it and Iwould do it like in the bathroom
or like when I was driving towork um different times and are
you saying things like a set ofthings that you've written, or
are you just kind of coming upwith stuff?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
because that's my thing I'm like I'll do three
that I've know and then I'm likeyou're cool, you stop at red
lights, stop at red lights youhold the door for people.
You're a good guy.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
I think I came up with them, but they're sort of
like a memory.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Maybe that's what I need to start is do something.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
And I just do them over and over and I actually
have it voice recorded on myphone.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
if I ever was like oh , I'm tired, I'm just going to
turn that on.
Just listen to myself talkabout myself.
Yes, you're good, you'reamazing.
You're an amazing person.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Yeah, and then the meditation stuff, like I
actually lay down and I just dofive minutes.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
And do you stay present or are you just like?
Is your mind like I'm likewhat's for dinner?
Do I have any oregano?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
And then I'm like, what's for dinner?
Do I have any oregano?
What's the?
And then I'm like, okay, whoa,stay focused.
Yeah, it drifts.
And then, like I come back,yeah, and they say, like that's
part of it is like, oh, younotice it.
And then you like, bring itback to the present.
The longest I've ever done isabout 15 minutes and that is
long yeah, that's a nap, yeahfor me and, and like the one I
actually remember thatrecommended it on the last
podcast was um, I can't remembersomething.
(06:10):
Mindfulness, mindfulness inminutes okay, anyway, it's a
podcast I've been using.
She has like five minute, 10,15, and so like I'm like at
least do five minutes yeahbecause that feels good to like.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Close your eyes and I think one of my issues one, one
of my many issues is notsticking with something.
I'll try it for three or fourdays and I'm like well, I'm just
not the meditating type, butit's why they call it practicing
meditation.
No one's ever perfect at it.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Are you like a black and white type person, like all
or nothing?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
It's funny In my mind I would tell people I'm not
like I can I'm good witheverything.
But yes, I'm finding as I'mgetting older and it's
definitely like I'm either.
I either like it or I don'tlike it.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
You know, it's either on or off, it's no, nothing in
between okay, because when yousaid that, because for me, like
I have been that way a lot andI'm trying to like adjust, so
like it would be like all beinglike I'm doing this exercise
program, this is what I do, I'mgonna eat this way, and then the
moment I have a day where I'mlike, oh, I didn't do it, I'm
(07:18):
like it's over, yeah, I can't goback to this.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Yeah, that's what happened when I was vegetarian.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
I was so I brief, brief moment.
I bragged about it.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
I bragged about it to everyone.
It would come up in everyconversation.
And then I think I did it forthree weeks.
I changed everything.
And then I went to Martin'sBarbecue and had a pulled pork
sandwich and I was like I'm nota vegetarian.
And now I'll tell people I'm an80% vegetarian.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
I mean Martin's barbecue could be.
I would be okay with that beingan exception to anyone's
vegetarianism.
I always, I love that spot.
It's so good, it's the onlyplace I eat ribs.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I never eat ribs anywhere else.
Love the ribs.
Their redneck taco, oh Ihaven't had that.
It's a.
They call it a hoe cake.
It's like a pancake made ofcornbread with pulled pork and
slaw.
I can't even talk about it.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
It sounds amazing.
I need to go right now.
I get the pulled pork likewhatever platter, but my dad,
whenever he's here, he alwaysgets the ribs and he gets like
the whole thing so that he canbring the extra back and then
we'll just like eat on it.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
My brother's a wine importer and he just had 12
French vineyard owners in townand took them to Martin's and
watching all this meat come out.
I mean they were just like whatis happening I?
Mean barbecue everywhere,barbecue sauce, they devoured it
and they still talk about it.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
You can't be planning on impressing anyone.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
No.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
If you order ribs, it's with people you know no
fork and and knife.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
I need you to dig in.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Yes, I need sauce to be flying I also love how you
order and then you just go sityes because, like I, I always
get like if you sit down andlike catching up with somebody
and then I feel bad because Ihaven't like looked at the menu
and then the person's comingback and I'm like I'm just gonna
go focus, I have to orderbecause it's a line, and then
that one downtown, I don't knowwhich one you go to, the one
(09:09):
he's a belmont one um, okay, theone downtown's got that open
air area upstairs with bandplaying wait, where is?
Speaker 2 (09:15):
that, oh yeah, I can't it's probably close by
here it's very close.
I was pointing at it um yeah,maybe two blocks over um, but
it's perfect because, especiallyif you're, you know, casual
afternoon, you're still outside.
But you get the band, you getyour ribs and barbecue.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
I love barbecue.
I got barbecue when I was inLittle Rock and okay, so it's
this place called Sims Barbecue.
It's a total dive Party in.
Yeah, we used to always go there.
That's judges, so I worked fora judge, so it's his favorite
place and when I was coming he'slike we need to go to sims and
I I feel like I had likeforgotten like how good it is
(09:52):
and it's better than thebarbecue here, but apparently
it's like a certain type ofbarbecue which I don't remember.
Do they do?
Is it more of a?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
vinegar based sauce, or is it?
Yes, I?
Speaker 1 (10:02):
think so.
It was really good.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Memphis is where I started.
I went to PT school in Memphisand I'll never forget.
I went into the barbecue jointthere it's no longer there and I
ordered a barbecue sandwich andthe lady she had a cigarette in
her mouth and it's justbouncing and she's like you want
coleslaw on it?
And I was like on the sandwichand it's bouncing and she's like
you want coleslaw on it?
And I was like on the sandwich.
(10:26):
And she goes yeah, baby, that'show you eat it here.
From that point on, if I don'thave coleslaw, on my sandwich on
the sandwich.
I can't have it.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Yeah, that's.
I mean it's amazing.
Yeah, yeah, but Sims.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Now I'm hungry, by the way.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Sorry, sims, though, though like for the first year,
because okay so I'd been inMinnesota, never lived in the
south.
The first year we ate there, Igot a stomach ache every time,
and I just like didn't tell themit still went, it's worth it,
yeah.
And then, like by the secondyear, I was like fine.
And so when we went back I waslike I wonder if I'm gonna get
(10:58):
sick.
And then I was just totallyfine who cares?
Speaker 2 (11:01):
it was worth it absolutely.
Barbecue's always worth it soamazing.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Um, yeah, we don't got stuff like that in minnesota
, no, no, so, um, okay, so ifyou could relive any memory,
what would it be and why?
Speaker 2 (11:20):
um, there's a memory about four years ago the whole
family went to Costa Rica and mydad was gracious enough to get
us this beautiful kind of Airbnb.
It fit all.
I think it was 13 of us on thishill overlooking the ocean and
it had this infinity pool and Iremember the night family
sitting around, my nieces andnephews were all in the pool.
(11:42):
It's glowing, it's like thisperfect evening and we're
blaring the music from thebroadway musical les miserables
and we're singing.
The whole family is saying I'msure the neighbors are like what
is happening over here?
I'm doing jean valjean goinginto the pool and the kids still
talk about it.
(12:02):
I mean, it was just such a fun,like carefree moment where
everybody in the family wastogether, no arguing.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
And I love it.
I think about it a lot.
I have the picture saved on myphone to look at because it's
like that was one of thosenights.
I remember thinking in themoment like this is a memory for
me, yeah.
So what about you?
Speaker 1 (12:26):
I was actually thinking about it this morning
because, like I was like whatwould I say?
And I actually so.
We had this dog named Cliffordand he was a big, like 100-pound
Black Lab Golden Retriever.
And again, little Rock.
This was not I didn't mean tomention Little Rock this much,
but when I, like, would comehome from being in Little Rock
and I'd walk in the door and thejoy that this dog would have
(12:50):
for me, he became a lap dog andhe would just follow me around
and the moment I sat down he'dcrawl in my lap.
And I mean that dog he was Idon't want to say he wasn't my
siblings, because they might getoffended.
But, I was around more because Ilived with my parents during
law school and they, they weremarried, they moved out, and so
I just like really bonded withClifford, and then at some point
(13:13):
my parents were like well, doyou want him?
And I was like I'm, I'm in aone bedroom apartment.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
I do.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Yes, but he's living on seven acres Like I don't
think that's fair.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
That's the reason I'm a dog person.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Because you could go to the mailbox and come back.
And they're like oh, look who'shere.
Are you kidding me?
You know, the cat's just kindof ambling around the house.
It's a roommate and they'relike I'll get to you when I get
to you, no worries.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Yeah, there's just like so much of like I don't
know.
It's interesting, both ourmemories are kind of this very
carefree.
It's a good feeling, it is.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
You know, when I was thinking about it like memories,
my first thought is like youknow, some big, like I was at
the World Cup and such, but likethat was just.
That's like a bragging thing,like a good memory for me is
like the moments that I feel atpeace and carefree.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
And, like the, the moments that that I feel at
peace and carefree, and it'susually with family.
Yeah, I would say a lot of mineare too, although these days
it's not like calm with all thekids, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
I mean it's fun, but there's nothing calm about my
family, so, and yeah, maybe calmthat's not in the right word,
it's just where everybody iscomfortable and being themselves
.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Yeah, that feeling of like when you have friends or
family where you know you canjust show up and you don't have
to put a face on at all.
Like that.
I think when I first moved herewas a challenge, and when I
first moved to Little Rock was achallenge because I didn't know
anybody and so I felt like Iwas like missing this.
I don't know like communitywhere you could just show up and
(14:49):
not worry about anything.
And so, like my sister and Iused to just watch Psych, you
know, for hours on end and itdidn't matter.
You know like we'd do whateverwe wanted, and yeah, it's like
Christmas morning with my family.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
We're in the tackiest outfits, it's sweatpants and
hair's not done.
There's zero judgment and it'sjust.
There's not a care in the world.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Yeah, I do.
I feel like I've found thosefriends though now in Nashville.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Those are good to have.
It just took a moment.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Yes, yeah, and part of it also was me, me expressing
of like, hey, like.
I don't always want to go outto a bar like I want a
friendship where we can alsolike go to someone's house and
just be in sweats and like it'sstill the same.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
I think it's tough in Nashville.
It's probably in every city too, but Nashville is such a go-out
bar scene.
I mean we've got thousands ofbars, tons of rooftops and it's
a big, it's a very big.
Meet me at this bar and we'llgo.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
But I found that you've got to be intentional
with friends and like any chancewe could just do game night,
yeah, and not do bar night orbar weekend yeah, I feel like
that's partly why, like it'snice to hang with you, yeah, um,
because you'll like come to myhouse and we can just like sit
on the balcony and like.
That's like a big thing for meover the last year of being like
(16:07):
well, I can't really be out inthese loud places because of the
head injury stuff, and so it'slike to have friends who will
like come over and we can stillhave just as good a time.
You really find who your peopleare.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
That's true, and people are.
That's true, and people arealways surprised.
I mean, game night, several ofmy friends were like I don't
know, what are we playing?
I'm like just give it a whirl.
And then Elena, my friend, youknow her, she's so good at game
night stuff and she'll hostsometimes and they'll be like
I'm only going to stay an hour,Four hours in, we're screaming.
It's just a bonding experiencetoo.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Yeah, yeah.
I was going to do a grab bagquestion, but it's over there
and I don't want to go get it.
So go grab the bag.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
No.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
But there.
So here's, if I can rememberone of them what superpower
would you want to have?
Speaker 2 (17:03):
I know we're going from serious to yeah, even I, I
mean, I would love to beinvisible yeah, what?
Speaker 1 (17:12):
okay, why I?
Speaker 2 (17:14):
don't know.
I just think, um, it'd be befun to see, kind of and it's not
for a reason of like anythingother than like wanting to see
how people live.
And are they talking about me?
Speaker 1 (17:24):
are they when I leave the room?
If?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
they if I leave the room.
The other one is flying, justthe ability to like.
You know, I want to go.
I want to go to new york.
Yeah, I can go, um, but I feellike that would get exhausting,
it would mess my hair up and allthat.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
So, um, yeah probably invisible I would do
teleporting, and it's it'sbecause often at the end of the
night somewhere I'm like I wishI could just be in my bed.
Boom, or in New York, you cando teleporting.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Yeah, I've definitely thought about this a lot.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Yeah, I can tell.
I don't think strength would belike the strongest man in the
world.
I mean I'd show off a few times.
But I mean I'd show off a fewtimes, but I mean how many times
can?
Speaker 1 (18:11):
you crush a car you would get asked to do so many.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
You move this trailer for us.
Hey, we're moving on Saturday.
I'm dressed.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah, I would not, yeah, yeah, okay, so I have some
random thoughts lately.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
I love random thoughts.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Can you be friends with exes?
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yes, 100%, tell me more.
Can you be friends with exes?
Yes, 100%, tell me more.
I am, besides my long-termrelationship, I'm friends with
the three people that I've dated.
I've been here 11 years now andI am very good friends with one
, and then the two I still careabout.
For me, it's, like you know,unless it the relationship ended
(18:45):
by some sort of awful you knowthey've cheated and none of them
did uh, it was wasn't a goodfit, it wasn't a good time, that
kind of thing.
But I definitely chose thisperson because I saw something
in them.
I love their personality, Ilove them as a human.
Um, you know why wouldn't Istill want to be friends with
them?
The second part is, you know,gay community is small, so if
(19:08):
you turn your back on one, thenthey have 15 friends, you know.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
And then you're like you know, it's like just be
normal, just be nice.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
I mean I'm not going to dinner with them, but yeah,
if I see them out, hang out.
You know, chat sometimes.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
You're not, I am and I don't know well, okay, let me
think about this.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
What I?
Speaker 1 (19:30):
want to say I am, and one of them, though it has to
be like a little bit like arm'slength and like.
Last time I like was datingsomebody, I felt uncomfortable
continuing that friendship inthe same way, and so then I
started thinking, well, is thatactually fair to that guy when
(19:50):
I'm dating that?
Speaker 2 (19:51):
it changes the friendship oh, I didn't think of
that does that happen with youat all?
I can't think of an example,but I've really tried to
approach dating.
My therapist many years agogave me some advice that I have
just hung on to, and it is everydate you go on, you approach it
.
If it's a first date or seconddate, it's how does this person
(20:13):
fit into my life, or do they?
It's not?
Are they my lover?
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Are they my?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
partner.
Will I marry them?
Because I was going on datesbeing like, look at the way he's
holding that fork, I hate that.
I hate his laugh.
You know that kind of stuff.
It's like no, no no, no, don't,don't keep tallies.
Just see, are they a friend,are they a?
Speaker 1 (20:35):
networking person.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Um, maybe there's somebody at arm's length Like
you, you know they're good toknow.
Maybe in the future y'all crosspaths, you know, but I try not
to burn bridges too much, Causehe says I just life's short,
we're all here to just try tofind love and happiness.
So what if it didn't work?
It's a timing thing.
Half the time I know it wouldhave been good with this person
if I'd met them or I dated them10 years later.
(20:56):
But now they're married.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
It's interesting because I reconnected with my
last boyfriend recently and notin a romantic way at all, but
sort of just friendly, and whenthat ended ended, that would
have been challenging but it'sbeen a good.
I don't know how long eightmonths or did you reach out?
I did and there was a specificreason I don't feel like sharing
, but it was a it's good, likeit was a good conversation um
(21:24):
and like he's moved fromnashville, so it's not like it's
like a hangout yeah thing.
um, but like I'm friends withthis guy, I dated like a few
years ago and he's married and Iwas invited to the wedding and
some of my friends thought thatwas so bizarre, like you're
going to crash it.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Stand up in the in the ceremony.
I have a problem.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
But yeah, I really like his wife and so it's like
I've always ended prettycordially with people.
Cause it's like I've alwaysended pretty cordially with
people because it's not like.
I look at dating as like it'snot.
Most people are not good or bad, right, it's just, sometimes
you're just not a fit and that'sOK.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Yes, absolutely, and I mean the whole.
For me it is it's a timingissue and a situation where I
have got and it's usually I'mnot ready timing issue and in a
situation where I have got, it'susually I'm not ready like I'll
jump into a date and realize,okay, like they're really ready
to commit and I'm not.
But when I'm on the date, likethe whole point, I should have
said let's go have dinner asfriends or let's get to know
(22:19):
each other as friends.
But you know, I don't know ifit's the same in the straight
world, but you know, I get twoguys go get drinks together.
It's probably a date, you know,unless you say otherwise yeah,
I would if.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
If a guy asked me to get drinks, even if he didn't
clarify, I'd be like oh, I'mgoing on a date, yeah, yeah and
then, if it wasn't, I'd be likewell, that was foolish of you,
not me, I'm out of here yeah, umI.
I would love an update on yourdating life.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
So I didn't.
It's been many months and formany reasons.
One I moved, but two I used todye my beard here, and when I
turned 50, on my 50th birthday,I decided no more dye and I
thought this was going to takeNashville by storm.
I thought, there was going tobe posts.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
The Tennessean was going to write a story about it.
All over Instagram, people werecalling, checking on me.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
No one said a, thing, and so I was so worried about
image.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
I didn't notice that, see, now you're pointing it out
.
I'm like, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I mean, to me it was like the most shocking.
I came out.
I was like hey guys, I'm herehere and they're like great
happy birthday.
Like we're not gonna read mefor filth, for dying my beard
you're a solar fox yeah well,thank you.
But I look back, all my liketinder pics are me with a you
know a same color beard and inmy head I'm like if I show up on
(23:42):
a date and they see this,they're like how long ago are
those pictures taken?
It's all self-imposed.
So anyway, fast forward.
I got back on tinder and I havea date today.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
It's exciting where are you going?
Speaker 2 (23:56):
so, um, we're going to the wash, which is it's a
series of four.
It's in an old car wash in eastnashville.
It's a series of four or fiverestaurants amazing.
There there's a Peruvian one, aThai place, so it's a great
place, so you can just trythings.
It's outside, casual.
I put a time limit on the date.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Okay, I think that is really important.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
I said I've got two hours and I'd love to sit and
talk, because I do have a badhabit of like if it's going well
, I'm like you know you want togo out tonight or we can go
dance, and this is the firstdate.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
This is the first date, okay, so I like to do no
more than an hour and a half.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Oh, should I call and tell him we're cutting.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
No, I'm just curious, because I start to get tired
after an hour and a half andthen I don't think as much about
what I'm saying and I feel likeI start to overshare after that
, I think and I'm not 100 I'venot talked to him on the phone.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Uh, this has just been over messaging but.
I do think.
I don't think english is hisfirst language, so in my mind I
was trying to give some time forlike if we needed to slow down
and do translation better andthat kind of stuff.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
But I don't think two hours is wrong.
Yeah, I feel like I've heard ofpeople being like five hours
later.
I'm like what are you talkingabout?
Speaker 2 (25:07):
oh, and I used to do dinner.
You know it's such a commitment.
Get down going downtown park.
It's three hours on a firstdate.
Oh yeah, I will never do dinneron a first.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
I won't either now unless I'd met them like I don't
know.
If I knew him through likefriends or something, I maybe
would and I'd already, like hada conversation, knew it wouldn't
be like a complete dud yeah,well, my issue was like I was
throwing all my cards at thevery beginning it's like go.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Go to a fancy restaurant, prove that you know
how to order wine, you know howto order a cocktail, you know
how to hold your silverwareright.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
It's like I don't know any of these.
What are you doing?
Speaker 2 (25:42):
no one's ever been like.
That was an amazing first date,because you really showed us
how to you, you know.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
I feel like you've got a thing with silverware.
Now I need you to like show mewhat I'm doing wrong.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
It's just, you know it's a silly little judgy thing.
I'm over it now, but now for meit's coffee or, you know, lunch
, not dinner.
Dinner just makes it like it'stoo easy to be like, all right,
you want to go grab a drink andgo out from here, so it's a day
date and then wait a few days.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
I've heard it referred to like years ago as
the preamble, and so that's howI think of like.
If you met on an app and thenyou're just getting coffee, it's
more of like a preamble,because you don't.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
I like that and I've got to work on.
You know me, I'm a big questionasker and I had a guy one time
tell my group of friends.
They were like, how do you knowhim?
I'm like, well, we went on adate.
They were like, how did it go?
And he was like he wasn't forme.
I said, well, you can tell himwhy.
And he said it was like beinginterrogated.
In my mind I was keepingconversation going.
(26:49):
I was trying to ask a lot ofdifferent questions.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Were you responding to questions?
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
If they would say what about you?
But then in my head I'm likewhy aren't you asking me any
questions?
And I'm like well becauseyou're not letting him ask you
questions.
You're just barraging.
Where are you from originally?
Speaker 1 (27:06):
What kind of work do you do?
What's your social securitynumber, if?
Speaker 2 (27:09):
you could get rid of one vegetable, what would you
get rid of?
So today, I'm just going to becalm, let the conversation flow.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
That sounds like a cool place.
Is it newer?
Speaker 2 (27:19):
It's been open about a year now.
It's really amazing.
The food is exceptional.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
I don't get over the East very much.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
You've got to come.
Food scene is off the chain.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Yeah, I feel like it reminds me of Northeast
Minneapolis, which I love.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
That's where I lived before moving here.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
It's just got a good vibe lots of cocktail clubs and
I don't know.
You don't have to go downtownto have fun in Nashville, thank
goodness.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Thank goodness, yeah, let's see.
Okay, have you okay?
I've been watching big bangtheory lately on hbo max with
commercials I love that youadded this.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Well, there's a reason.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Okay, all right there's a commercial that keeps
coming up, a trailer for a movie, and I it's disturbing.
It's like this guy like kidnapswomen, takes them on a boat and
is like recording their murder.
Have you ever thought aboutthat?
Speaker 2 (28:15):
somebody's brain came up with that yes, when I'm
watching, especially like horroror serial killer movies, I'm
like, were you on the treadmilland you?
You were like you know what?
You know what we should do.
We should do something aboutyou know hog tying people and
I'm like who comes up with this?
Are you having a focus group?
(28:36):
Did you come up with this onyour own?
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Yeah, every time this one comes up, I'm like,
literally someone came up withthis.
This is horrifying.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
It's always like the scariest movie of all time Like
who?
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Somebody who hasn't been to therapy, I think.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
That was probably true.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Or maybe too much I don't do well.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
I don't do well with like the horror and the super
scary, because I feel like it'salways.
It always looks like the placeI'm living.
I'm like that looks like myapartment complex.
Was that filmed here?
Speaker 1 (29:03):
Yeah, I don't like scary movies.
I feel like, so like I feellike something like Texas
Chainsaw Massacre, like my brainwould concoct that out of fear,
but I would never like be likethis would be a good movie, like
because I would be like scared.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Like wandering around the house, like oh my God,
there might be like someoneabout to jump out at me.
It's like I don't want to turnthat into like something
everyone's watching.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
But how do you convince the studio too?
You're like here's what I'mthinking a crazy, a psycho is
going to carry a chainsaw aroundand murder people in farms, and
they're like I think americawould love this.
Yeah, I think this is a reallygood option for for us, but oh,
it's a little disturbing yeah,it is it is Okay.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Yeah, what do we got next?
Okay, we were going to talkabout trying new things as an
adult.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Okay, I think everybody should do this.
I mean, we tried comedy.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
For me, trying new things was it forces my
creativity juices, which I thinkis really helpful, even if you
don't think you're creative.
Like doing something new helpsyou realize, oh, I've got this
little bit of creativity in meand maybe opens up a new pathway
.
I'm a big believer in say yesto everything unless it gets you
(30:27):
killed.
That's my motto in life and soI'm like I want to be a wedding.
Um, mc, you would be amazing.
I think I want to do a businesswhere I'm a wedding.
I've been to some weddingsrecently and they're beautiful
and but, there's always like aum, you know the moment between
food and dancing and it's justlike who's going to dance and
what are they and why are theyup there, and I think it would
be fun yeah, you're like acruise director, yes, yeah.
(30:50):
I've got the jackets for it, soyou really do yeah yeah, what
about you?
Are you gonna?
Are you starting something new,or um, am I starting something
new?
Speaker 1 (30:59):
I don't, I don't know .
I mean, part of the reason I'vebeen thinking about this is
because I feel like I wentthrough this phase where I did
try a lot of new things.
So for like a long time Iwasn't.
I was just like working, tryingto get out of debt.
And then I was like I'm movingto Nashville and that was like
I'm gonna do something new oflike a new city and new way of
like making friends, like Itried.
(31:20):
You know, I made great friendsoff of Bumble BFF you did.
You've told me about amazingfriends, and then stand-up was
like this completely weird thingthat my therapist was like try
something creative, and so I dida bunch and then I feel like I
stopped and so I just have beenthinking about how it's so
(31:42):
healthy to do and I kind ofGoogled and looked up what AI
told me.
But you know that you get likea dopamine hit and it makes you
like more flexible with like howyou think and just in life, and
I definitely have seen thatfrom trying stand up of like oh,
for sure.
Just putting yourself out thereand being like I was convinced I
(32:05):
would be really bad at it and Iwas like it's fine, I like have
been humiliated in law school,Like we're fine.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
What could be worse right?
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Yeah, and so I think it's really good to have
something where you're puttingyourself in a different
environment of like it's okay,there's no like pass or fail, it
just is.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
And I didn't have a lot of that.
I think it also like confidence, confidence building is so
important um, it gets you out ofroutine.
I think a lot of people are sostuck in a routine and I'm
including myself in that whereyou just kind of go through the
motions and it's like, yeah,sometimes I was like I got class
tonight.
I gotta go comedy class.
I'm so tired.
(32:45):
But then I go and I'm likesitting in bed that night going.
I can't wait to write morejokes, I can't Like it.
Just the dopamine hit really isa thing.
I think one thing I want to tryand I'm terrified to do it is
Brazilian jiu-jitsu.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Oh, why are you terrified?
Speaker 2 (33:04):
In my mind, the first class.
I'm getting jumped in like agang and then they'll beat me up
and you know um I'll quit afterone visit um trial by fire,
right?
Speaker 1 (33:17):
yeah, let's see how you fight dude.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
I'm like no my, my barber's been trying to get me
to go for so many years and he'sI know it's a good thing I'm
intimidated, honestly, aboutgoing.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Do you remember jasmine, who you met at my
halloween party?
Oh yes she does jujitsu.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
That's how she and shane, my co-worker I had that
conversation with her marriedyeah it just seems so
intimidating to call to me towalk in with like, and it's in
my mind, it was like all men whohad just finished a massive
workout and they're justseething and ready to fight and
my barber's, like it's literallyguys that are like, hey, let's
(33:56):
practice this sparring together,and it's not about learning to
fight, it's just aboutself-control and self-discipline
.
But as long as I don't getjumped in, I don't do well with
being jumped in.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
We're just waiting for the next one.
Phillip's here.
All right, beat him, yeah.
Yeah, that's how I feel aboutlike I've been wanting to do
more weightlifting and like, asI've listened to like podcasts,
they're like everyone's supernice and I'm like I don't know
just like walking into the gymand with my like spaghetti arms
and being like sure, I can do 10pounds, yes, but and that's.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
That's why I usually go to the apartment gym, because
I go to the regular gym and Ispend the entire time like, okay
, everyone else is, looks likethey're on a focused schedule
and I'm wandering around.
I'm like, let's, let's liftthat a few times, that's, that
feels good yeah go walk and Iknow what I'm supposed to do.
I mean, I'm a physicaltherapist, but there's an
intimidation factor for me yeah,yeah, I feel like, um, let's
(34:53):
see.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
So I feel like with the trying new things like I
automatically think about likestand-up or improv or something
creative, but one thing I'vebeen noticing about myself is
like just something new of likea location also helps me feel
like happier, more uplifted oflike you know.
(35:13):
I mean I have been to LittleRock but like going there for a
week and working remotely reallyfelt like it lifted my spirits
of like just having like changeand a different not a different
habit, but routine, like yousaid I think you're exactly
right.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
I mean, even like a day trip is so invigorating and
people think like, oh, you gotta, vacation's got to be a week.
You gotta fly, you gotta.
I mean there's so many placesyou can drive to and come back
from.
I mean I went down and did thejack daniels tour, um, recently,
and I've been there before andI knew this.
I mean it was nothing new forme, but I just remember I was
(35:49):
like that was so fun.
Yeah, it's came back.
I'm like now I'm interested inhow they make whiskey and we
went and ate at Miss Mary Bobo's.
Which is this amazing likehome-cooked meal place that you
sit with people all together,family style.
You know I love that and it wasjust it.
It's fun.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Yeah, I mean, as you say, that I'm like I even love
trying a new recipe, absolutely,you know, taking it slow.
And yeah, I don't know.
I'm thinking now I'm like, whatnew thing am I trying?
I guess selling a house.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
That's a thing, that's a thing.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Well, the meditation.
For me that was a.
It's a new thing.
We're working on it.
The most recent thing that Idid that was a new experience
was my romance novel writingclass I forgot you did that it
was amazing have you finishedyour first novel no, no, of
course not.
And also like I did startwriting more because I've always
enjoyed like creative writing.
But I started writing more andI turned it, so like at the end
(36:53):
our teacher was like you canturn in some writing and I like
turned it.
I was like so this is notromance, it's not even a kiss
Thank you, it made me supercreative.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
Well, that was going to be my question.
What's like the one thing youtook, or?
Speaker 1 (37:07):
maybe you took several things.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
What's one thing you took from a romance writing
class?
Speaker 1 (37:13):
I the other.
It was all women which it couldhave been men but it was all
women.
I was so impressed with howpassionate those women were
about this like they knew somuch they were so excited about
it.
They talked about it like veryseriously and were very engaged
and like I was fascinated bylike the plot structure and like
(37:34):
it was fun to talk about likecliches and it was just really
cool to see people who are superpassionate about something and
they're pursuing it, and notnecessarily without fear, but
it's like I often have, like alimiting belief of like well, I
mean I'd put in all this workand like it's not going to get
published, Right, what's thepoint?
(37:55):
And so then I like don't do it,but like the point is the
enjoyment of the process, and soI really liked seeing that and
so there can.
I haven't been able to go, butthe second Saturday of each
month they're meeting up and soI offered they're coming to my
house in June, so I'm hosting,even though I'm like still don't
(38:15):
have any romance written at alland I don't really read romance
a lot and if I do, it's more oflike rom-com, but I learned
there are things out there.
I was like, is this stillromance?
(38:36):
More of like rom-com, but Ilearned there are things out
there.
Our teacher was always likedon't take anyone's.
Yum, I love that.
Should be a t-shirt, itprobably don't anyone job.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
I love that.
Remember, in in comedy class,you know, I had like a writer's
block and trying to figure outand one of the things it was
just to start writing, just tostart.
Don't limit yourself to like,okay, what's this about?
And I would sit at the coffeeshop and I would just I'm not
writing.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
I was typing and it was just sentence upon sentence
and then suddenly something kindof clicks and you're like huh
let me, let's start there now,and yeah for me it's like if you
, if you say no or you limityourself, it's like I mean
you're not going to experienceit yeah, yeah, and that's like
last night when I was trying towrite a joke because it's been
(39:22):
so long since I felt thatcreative yeah and so I just
started writing and I like Isaid I noticed myself editing
and then I was like stop editing, just right.
And then, as I did, I started.
I was like oh, that's funny.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
I was like I could maybe have that for an open mic
soon well remember Mark told usabout like writing so many jokes
a night just come home andwrite five jokes and I'm like in
my mind it made no sense.
To me, like, how do you just sitdown and write a joke, right,
and then it just and 99% of theones I've written are pretty bad
, but so the one, some of theones that I've used in sets, are
(40:01):
great and they land and I'veworked on them and you've helped
me edit them, and it wouldnever have happened if I hadn't
just let that creative processgo yeah, and I think because
it's been six months or actuallysince whatever January, I don't
know since I've done a show andI've been really happy taking a
break and a lot of that is justwith um work and different
(40:25):
things.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
right, it takes a lot of energy to be going out
consistently, but a lot of myold jokes are not exactly
relevant anymore for me Of likeI could go out and just like do
them.
I'm thinking about my dog jokeand I'm like we won't go into
why that's not going to berelevant.
(40:46):
It's so dark.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
It's dark, I do like it, I do like it.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
But I was like I could rewrite that in a little
bit.
Yeah, and yeah, and some of theother ones too, where I'm like,
oh, like my life has changed,but it doesn't, so I don't know.
So I've been thinking aboutgoing back and like working on
them.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
I do like going back and reading them too, Cause it's
like I'll read it and be likethat's I'm not going to use that
joke anymore.
But the thought behind it, theidea, is something that I want
to put in, something that's moreof a mature not mature maybe,
but a different joke.
So I try to keep everything Iwrite.
It's embarrassing to go backand reread sometimes, and I even
audio recorded, like some ofthe sets my first sets and
(41:28):
listening back and I'm like, ohmy gosh, this is bad babe.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
But you did it, I did it.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
I'm proud and you, you did great with your show.
You were so gracious to let mecome on your show several times
and it was a great experience.
I try new things.
Say yes to it.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
Yeah yeah, totally different.
But one thing I do.
Actually, I'm not 100 sure Iwant to try this, but part of me
says I want to primitivecamping okay, I'm quickly trying
to figure out the differencebetween camping and primitive
camping I think it's the toiletsituation.
(42:07):
Okay, so we're talking.
You're going into, you're in atent in the woods and you're
doing your business alone.
Well, I think so.
I mean, I was thinking I'd havea dog and I.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
Why are you going alone?
Speaker 1 (42:21):
You're going to have to drop a pin.
I'm not going to, you're notgoing alone into the campsite.
Well, okay, so I think I wantto hike the appalachian trail at
some point.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
oh my gosh and in order to do that.
Speaker 1 (42:33):
You need to be able to just like sleep outside,
which I currently don't think Icould do.
So I feel like I want to tryprimitive camping in like south
cumberland state park, becauseit's there and like that feels
decently safe.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Will you have weapons with you?
I?
Speaker 1 (42:54):
think I would, I think so.
This is I'm not even sayingthis year okay.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
Okay, not even saying two years.
Why don't you take Brazilianjiu-jitsu?
Speaker 1 (43:02):
with me.
I mean maybe like a taser orsomething.
But yeah, I want, I think Iwant to hike the Appalachian
Trail and you have to be able todo that.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
I love that.
I mean, it sounds horrifying,but I feel like I want to.
I do like the idea of campinglike a day or two, but for me
it's like I'm bringing so much Iwant to cook an amazing meal.
I want, I don't want like apackage to you know, add water
protein bar.
Yeah, no, I want to do a filet,you know, with a cast iron
(43:35):
skillet.
So I've got to have a trailerwith me to make sure I can get
everything there.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
I just imagine you like hiking in with this like
red two pack mules.
Speaker 2 (43:46):
Well, it's funny, my um, we went out to montana years
a few years ago and one of theoptions was camping and I was
like, I told my brother I waslike john david, like I'm, I'm
willing to try this, and he sentme the picture and it's a, it's
a tent with a chandelier in it.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
It's kind of it's it's glamping I'm like oh, you
should have said glamping, I'mready, let's glamp, honey,
that's okay.
I am so far from being able todo this that, like I was looking
at glamping and I was like Idon't know, I mean I'd have to
(44:22):
walk 10 feet in the dark to thehouse.
I was too scared.
Speaker 2 (44:28):
We got a little work to do before.
I will let you go on theAppalachian Trail alone, because
how many?
This is my ignorance.
How long is the AppalachianTrail?
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Very long Are we talking, but you can do sections
and you want to do the wholething.
No, oh, okay, I would do like aweek section, I think.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
Like a week as the time frame.
Also.
A week, yeah, for me, I don'tknow.
I just I feel like there's likesomething to being out there on
your own, like I love hikingand I that's something newer.
(45:03):
Where I've tried it like Ididn't really hike very much
before moving here, and now I'mlike I've been to Yosemite and
Zion and Smoky Mountains andthere's I don't know, there's
nothing like just being insilence in the woods and it's
like, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
I love that.
I really wish I.
I don't know if I don't lovebeing by myself.
I don't know if I don't lovebeing by myself as much as I
feel like I might get boredbecause I have to talk you can
talk.
Can you imagine passing me onthe trail?
You're good, phillip, peoplelove you.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
Thank you so much.
Do you hike?
Yes, I said that veryemphatically no.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
I was like I don't know that we Do you hike.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
Oh, okay, I said that very emphatically.
No, I was like I don't knowthat we've ever talked about
this.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
So I do enjoy it.
I don't do it regularly, butwent to Scotland last year with
my father and my two brothersand they really wanted to do
some amazing hikes out there.
And I didn't know anythingabout this, and so they were
like buy hiking clothes so yes,I've got a you know the hike
(46:05):
store.
I'm like, dress me, and so thisgirl picked out all this hike
it had everything and I'm likeuh, columbia, oh yeah, that's
good too.
Yeah, it was at Bopper Mills andit was on sale, so I didn't
want to spend a ton um, and Iabsolutely loved it.
It was, it was raining.
I'm don't walk in the rain.
I love the rain, I love the it,just something about it.
I don't know if it was thelocation, but I came back and,
like you, can officially saythat you enjoy hiking.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
I mean, I feel like it's, I like being like a little
scared and like it's just alittle too hard for me, and yet
I did it.
And then you can go home andtake a hot shower.
Yes, it's a challenging.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
It's something challenging, it's a dopamine hit
too, I mean it's something thatyou've got to be laser focused
especially.
Um, remember you talking aboutbeing on the trail and maybe it
was.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
Utah summer.
Yeah, like there's a cliffsummer, stop you have to be
laser.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
Focused on that.
I mean yes um, but I love thatyou're wanting to do that.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
I think that's yeah, I feel like we'll we'll work up
towards it yeah I mean, it'll bein baby steps, and my roommate
did say he would teach me how tostart a fire.
So we're starting this is yeah,let's say we've got a few weeks
before you're really yeah, Iwas like do you think the hoa
would get mad if I just go goout?
You're?
Speaker 2 (47:18):
out in the front.
What is she doing?
She's starting a fire.
She's hiking soon.
Don't worry about it, just inthe middle of Bellevue, I mean
surely they've got fire starterkit, like something little you
can just do.
Are you wanting to do like theI don't know.
Speaker 1 (47:33):
Yeah, I mean I'll be reading a lot of blogs going to
REI.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
You will be well, I know you will well research this
.
Well research, I know you will.
Speaker 1 (47:42):
Yes, okay, lately I've been obsessing over
gluten-free savory crepes fromRed Bicycle in Germantown, I
mean.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
Well, that fit on one page.
Did you stumble on this byaccident or?
Speaker 1 (48:01):
no, so I used to live right by there oh, that's right
, I forgot about that but Iwouldn't really get the crepes
very often and I was just likesuper hungry the other day and I
went in and got it and thisbalsamic crepe is so good and I
had had crepes better than thiseven when I was in france, and
that's when I first learned likethey like stuff their crepes
(48:23):
and they're so amazing.
But yeah, lately I've just beenlike, I'm like I think I'll just
go alone, I just like park andwalk over, and I did it
yesterday.
Speaker 2 (48:31):
I just feel like I need to try this now.
You haven't had them.
Speaker 1 (48:34):
Not, not that, not that particular I mean I love
crepes, but okay, it's reallygood Okay.
Yeah, I don't know.
Red Bicycle, they're not openin the nations anymore.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
Oh, Are they?
Speaker 1 (48:43):
in the East.
I know they're in Germany.
I just know Germantown.
Speaker 2 (48:46):
Yeah, I think the only one I know is Germantown.
Speaker 1 (48:48):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (48:49):
My latest obsession is I'm trying to perfect making
salsa.
Ooh, I've got a red salsa.
That's pretty good, but I feellike it doesn't impress people
and I want to show up with asalsa and people are like did
you see Philip's salsa that hebrought?
And so I've been working onthis.
It's using tomatillos, so it'sa green salsa.
(49:13):
Yeah, I made it for the firsttime last weekend, after
obsessing over it for about amonth how to roast the serrano,
how to do this, how to make itperfectly authentic.
I made it for the first timelast weekend, after obsessing
over it for about a month how toroast the serrano, how to do
this, how to make it perfectlyauthentic.
I probably should have takenthe seeds out of the serrano.
It was about a nine in my mouth, like it was like.
So I had to let everyone elseI'm like tell me about it.
Is it good, do you like it?
(49:35):
So I'm going to keep working onit, but I need to make it to
where everybody can enjoy it.
A little kick.
Speaker 1 (49:40):
Did you start from a recipe?
And are evolving.
Speaker 2 (49:43):
So I went to a restaurant in Houston near the
beginning of the year and it wasa traditional Mexican
restaurant and they had sixsauces on the table and I loved
that.
Like, give me some stuff to dipin, mix and match.
But I always found myself goingfor, like the traditional, like
a little chunky tomato salsa,but they had several other ones
and I'm like I don't know thethe waitress is like I said,
(50:05):
what's your favorite?
If you were going to dietonight, you could only have one
more bite of salsa.
Which one?
And she, no, she went and itwas the salsa de aguacate, I
think, and it's it's got umavocado in it, fresh avocado,
lots of lime oh my gosh, thatsounds it's it's divine, um.
So I used the recipe that theyused because they had a cookbook
(50:27):
.
So I got the cookbook, ofcourse, um, but then I've been
finding other versions of it.
Speaker 1 (50:31):
I'm gonna see if I can make so um, make it your own
, so that it will be my philips.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
I can't wait to try it, I will make it for you Low
spice.
Speaker 1 (50:41):
Okay, before we wrap up, I got a couple of things.
Did you have anyrecommendations for our
listeners that you want to share?
Speaker 2 (50:49):
Yeah, podcast-wise, I just binged a podcast called
the Redefector.
It's a true story about aRussian spy.
I think his name's VitalyOrshenko.
He went into a US embassy andsaid he wanted to, you know,
give secrets and I won't giveanything away, but it's a
(51:11):
fascinating journey of was hereally doing that?
Was he still working for Russia,was it?
And the things that happened.
It's a true story, um, but it'sa.
It's amazing.
And then I just finished um,all the colors of the dark.
Um, it's.
I think it came out in 24,obsessed, I didn't read, I
listen audible because I like tomultitask, but it's the point
(51:35):
where I would be like workingand like stop.
I'm like it's a.
It's the point where I would belike working and like stop.
I'm like it's about two kidswho have an incident and then
how that incident just changesthe whole course of their lives.
It's about finding youridentity, women's independence,
abuse.
It's a very, very good.
(51:55):
I can't wait for the moviebecause it's fascinating.
Speaker 1 (51:58):
Interesting.
I haven't heard of that.
Um I, the one I was going torecommend today is a podcast.
Okay, um, have you heard ofdiary of a ceo?
no okay, so really interestingpodcast.
But in particular, there is anepisode from march 17th from the
speaking coach and he's like atrial lawyer, but he coaches
people on how to speak andcommunicate more effectively.
(52:21):
And I love this episode becauseI've already like used things
that he suggests, like beforeyou respond to somebody, take a
breath and it shows like you'relistening.
And the thing I've used at workis I always used to say like
just checking in, and instead ofthat it's I wanted to check in
(52:44):
and so it's more like assertiveand like.
It's super interesting how hesays like using assertive
language leads to moreconfidence.
You don't feel confident andthen use assertive language.
It's like an action that bringsabout a feeling.
Speaker 2 (52:58):
I need you to send me that.
I definitely will.
I would love to listen to that.
I've sent it to a lot of peoplenow.
Speaker 1 (53:03):
And just you know it's about like being assertive
as a woman is challenging, letme put it that way of like you
know, there's this balance ofhow you're perceived, and so
I've always struggled with thata lot in law, and so I've always
struggled with that a lot inlaw.
And so just saying, like I am adirect person, I just want to
be direct, I don't want that tobe perceived in a bad way, um,
(53:27):
because it has been in the past.
So hearing how he like coachespeople is super interesting.
Speaker 2 (53:33):
I think and I think for you, I mean female and then
a lawyer.
Those both come with certain…Connotations.
Speaker 1 (53:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (53:43):
And so I think that's… I would love to listen
to that.
Speaker 1 (53:47):
I think we all need to.
It's so good, yeah, so what areyou looking forward to this
week, phillip?
Speaker 2 (53:53):
This week.
I'm looking forward to a very,very busy week at work, but it's
going great.
I'm super excited about itbecause we've got a bunch of new
patients coming in.
I've got a dinner planned witha very good friend that I went
to high school with, and it'sone.
I love the friends where youdon't have to check in all the
time, but as soon as you gettogether it's an immediate,
(54:15):
you're right back where you wereand there's no judgment.
It could be six hours, sixmonths, six years, it's just.
It's fun and healthy and she'sso supportive and loving and her
family's great, so I justalways leave there feeling good.
So I'm excited for that, yeah.
Speaker 1 (54:29):
I'm really excited for my dad and my nephew to get
here.
Yeah, my nephew's been callingme like every other day.
I learned that you can screenshare on FaceTime from him.
He's showing me where I'mlocated on the map, what we're
going to do.
He's nine and I'm like cool.
Speaker 2 (54:47):
Has he been here before?
Speaker 1 (54:48):
He has, but it's been over three years.
Speaker 2 (54:50):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (54:51):
Since I moved into my house.
Speaker 2 (54:53):
This will be exciting for him, because, six-year-old
in Nashville, nine-year-old inNashville, yes, he wants to go
to.
Speaker 1 (54:58):
Broadway.
Speaker 2 (55:01):
I'll take him.
Speaker 1 (55:03):
We did go before, but it was like middle of the day
and I think that's what we'regoing to do again.
He's like I want to go get thatice cream again, Like that's
what everyone goes to Broadwayfor.
Speaker 2 (55:12):
I love it.
There's also one of the newerbars closer to the end where you
can watch the bull riding fromoutside you don't have to be in
the bar.
He might enjoy that.
Speaker 1 (55:23):
Cool.
Well, thank you.
Thanks for being here, Phillipthis was very fun.
Speaker 2 (55:25):
Thank you, nicole, I appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (55:28):
And I don't know how to end this, so thank you all
for being here.
Speaker 2 (55:30):
Thank you Bye.
Speaker 1 (55:31):
Bye.
Thanks for listening to myCrunchy Zen Era.
Please subscribe.
Listening to my crunchy zen era.
Please subscribe and leave areview wherever you listen to
your podcasts.
This podcast is produced by me,nicole swisher, and my good
friends summer hardcup and lizcolder, editing is by drew
harrison media and recording isdone by lagos creative in
nashville, tennessee.
(55:52):
Thanks for hanging out.
We'll be back next week.
Welcome to my crunchy zen era.
We're not exactly sure what itmeans, but we're figuring it out
.
I'm Nicole Swisher, and todaymy guest is Philip Hedrick.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Hello Nicole.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Hi Philip, How's it going?
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Fantastic.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Good.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
by the way, I'm so excited.
I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
How long have going.
Fantastic Good.
Thank you for having me, by theway.
I'm so excited.
I appreciate it.
How long have we been talkingabout it?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
I'd say longer than a few weeks probably.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Month section.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I like it.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
I thought we'd start by just giving a background of
how we even met, because I thinkit's funny.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
So we met at a stand-up comedy class, class
number one.
I remember being extremelynervous because I was assuming I
was walking into full-fledgedcomedians and I was going to be
the only one that didn't knowanything, and I think you and I
were paired together for writinga first joke.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Yeah, but we found each other wandering in the hall
, I think.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
And then we walked in and we hit it off and then
later Mark, our teacher, waslike I thought you guys knew
each other.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
We came in as friends .
You just had this calming.
You made me calm.
I was a little nervous and I'vealways told you this You're
very calm and your energy keepsme calm, so I was like this is
the one.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
And we stuck together through the whole thing.
Yeah, and we did.
Do we were paired for thatfirst joke about my mom's horse?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Yes, it was a horse joke, it was a horse joke Not a
great one.
I don't remember it, but Iremember going.
I hope this gets better.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
I remember a little bit Something about a hairdryer,
but yeah, that was super fun.
Yeah, it was yeah, I feel likeI wasn't nervous for the class
because I just figured I'm justgoing to be super bad, so it
doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
But I also figured.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Everyone had tons of stand up experience and for me I
didn't.
I don't think I realized whatwent into writing jokes.
I thought I was just going toshow up and all of a sudden
people are just going to startbeing funny and then I was going
to start riffing.
But I really enjoyed like theprocess of learning how to write
and you helped me a lot withediting.
I have a big problem withwriting very big jokes and
you're like take 90% of that outand do this.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
I'm like perfect.
I've always loved editing.
You're very good at that, Verygood.
That was my favorite part.
But yeah, I was writing a jokelast night and I was like stop
editing, Just write it.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Are you sitting down more often and writing now?
I?
Speaker 1 (02:27):
just kind of started again, Cause I feel like my
brain was like I just don't havecapacity for anything.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
So it's fine.
I've gotten started back too.
I find for me it's better Iwalk and talk instead of sitting
and writing.
So I make laps in my kitchenand living area, and just I.
So I make laps in my kitchenand living area, and just I'm
not sure my neighbors are likewhat is happening in there.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
He's telling the same thing over and over that's what
I used to do, but then, likewith my roommate, I've had to be
like okay remember there'ssomebody in the house he's
trying to read.
You're like, okay, sit downyeah luckily our like schedules
are super different and so likewhen he is working, then I try
to like take advantage of doingthat.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Works out anything weird yeah, right, in a one hour
period, do all the weird stuff.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Yes, exactly um okay.
So I was gonna ask you have youdone something crunchy or zen
lately?
Speaker 2 (03:18):
so I've recently moved into a new place and I'm
trying to create new like dailyroutines for myself, um and I
would assume this falls underthat but one of them is like
self daily attribute, likeattributions or or you're kind
of talking in the mirror toyourself.
It's a tough thing for mebecause I I end up riffing on
(03:38):
myself in the mirror so I'llstart with, you know you're a
good person, people love you.
You probably should do somethingwith this bag area under here.
And then I get the lotion andI'm like whoa, whoa, whoa, focus
on.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
The exact opposite, the exact opposite.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
I did that on meditation.
I've tried to do kind of thoseself-guided meditations, you
know, put the headphones on, siton the floor, and I think I've
made it.
Maybe three minutes into mostof them I just I'm either asleep
, because if I you know me I'm aconstant motion.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
And sitting.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
For me, it's like I'm either sitting down to eat or
I'm going to sleep.
So I'm trying, I'm going tokeep focused at it.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I think it's going to take some effort, but I've been
trying to do those affirmationstoo, actually it well, I
started a while back and then Ilost it, and now I've been like
do that again and so for me it'slike you're smart, you have a
good memory, there's historythere, yeah, um, you're fun,
(04:41):
you're healed, and I do think itlike made a difference when I
was consistently doing it and Iwould do it like in the bathroom
or like when I was driving towork um different times and are
you saying things like a set ofthings that you've written, or
are you just kind of coming upwith stuff?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
because that's my thing I'm like I'll do three
that I've know and then I'm likeyou're cool, you stop at red
lights, stop at red lights youhold the door for people.
You're a good guy.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
I think I came up with them, but they're sort of
like a memory.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Maybe that's what I need to start is do something.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
And I just do them over and over and I actually
have it voice recorded on myphone.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
if I ever was like oh , I'm tired, I'm just going to
turn that on.
Just listen to myself talkabout myself.
Yes, you're good, you'reamazing.
You're an amazing person.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Yeah, and then the meditation stuff, like I
actually lay down and I just dofive minutes.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
And do you stay present or are you just like?
Is your mind like I'm likewhat's for dinner?
Do I have any oregano?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
And then I'm like, what's for dinner?
Do I have any oregano?
What's the?
And then I'm like, okay, whoa,stay focused.
Yeah, it drifts.
And then, like I come back,yeah, and they say, like that's
part of it is like, oh, younotice it.
And then you like, bring itback to the present.
The longest I've ever done isabout 15 minutes and that is
long yeah, that's a nap, yeahfor me and, and like the one I
actually remember thatrecommended it on the last
podcast was um, I can't remembersomething.
(06:10):
Mindfulness, mindfulness inminutes okay, anyway, it's a
podcast I've been using.
She has like five minute, 10,15, and so like I'm like at
least do five minutes yeahbecause that feels good to like.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Close your eyes and I think one of my issues one, one
of my many issues is notsticking with something.
I'll try it for three or fourdays and I'm like well, I'm just
not the meditating type, butit's why they call it practicing
meditation.
No one's ever perfect at it.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Are you like a black and white type person, like all
or nothing?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
It's funny In my mind I would tell people I'm not
like I can I'm good witheverything.
But yes, I'm finding as I'mgetting older and it's
definitely like I'm either.
I either like it or I don'tlike it.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
You know, it's either on or off, it's no, nothing in
between okay, because when yousaid that, because for me, like
I have been that way a lot andI'm trying to like adjust, so
like it would be like all beinglike I'm doing this exercise
program, this is what I do, I'mgonna eat this way, and then the
moment I have a day where I'mlike, oh, I didn't do it, I'm
(07:18):
like it's over, yeah, I can't goback to this.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Yeah, that's what happened when I was vegetarian.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
I was so I brief, brief moment.
I bragged about it.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
I bragged about it to everyone.
It would come up in everyconversation.
And then I think I did it forthree weeks.
I changed everything.
And then I went to Martin'sBarbecue and had a pulled pork
sandwich and I was like I'm nota vegetarian.
And now I'll tell people I'm an80% vegetarian.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
I mean Martin's barbecue could be.
I would be okay with that beingan exception to anyone's
vegetarianism.
I always, I love that spot.
It's so good, it's the onlyplace I eat ribs.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I never eat ribs anywhere else.
Love the ribs.
Their redneck taco, oh Ihaven't had that.
It's a.
They call it a hoe cake.
It's like a pancake made ofcornbread with pulled pork and
slaw.
I can't even talk about it.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
It sounds amazing.
I need to go right now.
I get the pulled pork likewhatever platter, but my dad,
whenever he's here, he alwaysgets the ribs and he gets like
the whole thing so that he canbring the extra back and then
we'll just like eat on it.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
My brother's a wine importer and he just had 12
French vineyard owners in townand took them to Martin's and
watching all this meat come out.
I mean they were just like whatis happening I?
Mean barbecue everywhere,barbecue sauce, they devoured it
and they still talk about it.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
You can't be planning on impressing anyone.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
No.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
If you order ribs, it's with people you know no
fork and and knife.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
I need you to dig in.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Yes, I need sauce to be flying I also love how you
order and then you just go sityes because, like I, I always
get like if you sit down andlike catching up with somebody
and then I feel bad because Ihaven't like looked at the menu
and then the person's comingback and I'm like I'm just gonna
go focus, I have to orderbecause it's a line, and then
that one downtown, I don't knowwhich one you go to, the one
(09:09):
he's a belmont one um, okay, theone downtown's got that open
air area upstairs with bandplaying wait, where is?
Speaker 2 (09:15):
that, oh yeah, I can't it's probably close by
here it's very close.
I was pointing at it um yeah,maybe two blocks over um, but
it's perfect because, especiallyif you're, you know, casual
afternoon, you're still outside.
But you get the band, you getyour ribs and barbecue.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
I love barbecue.
I got barbecue when I was inLittle Rock and okay, so it's
this place called Sims Barbecue.
It's a total dive Party in.
Yeah, we used to always go there.
That's judges, so I worked fora judge, so it's his favorite
place and when I was coming he'slike we need to go to sims and
I I feel like I had likeforgotten like how good it is
(09:52):
and it's better than thebarbecue here, but apparently
it's like a certain type ofbarbecue which I don't remember.
Do they do?
Is it more of a?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
vinegar based sauce, or is it?
Yes, I?
Speaker 1 (10:02):
think so.
It was really good.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Memphis is where I started.
I went to PT school in Memphisand I'll never forget.
I went into the barbecue jointthere it's no longer there and I
ordered a barbecue sandwich andthe lady she had a cigarette in
her mouth and it's justbouncing and she's like you want
coleslaw on it?
And I was like on the sandwichand it's bouncing and she's like
you want coleslaw on it?
And I was like on the sandwich.
(10:26):
And she goes yeah, baby, that'show you eat it here.
From that point on, if I don'thave coleslaw, on my sandwich on
the sandwich.
I can't have it.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Yeah, that's.
I mean it's amazing.
Yeah, yeah, but Sims.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Now I'm hungry, by the way.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Sorry, sims, though, though like for the first year,
because okay so I'd been inMinnesota, never lived in the
south.
The first year we ate there, Igot a stomach ache every time,
and I just like didn't tell themit still went, it's worth it,
yeah.
And then, like by the secondyear, I was like fine.
And so when we went back I waslike I wonder if I'm gonna get
(10:58):
sick.
And then I was just totallyfine who cares?
Speaker 2 (11:01):
it was worth it absolutely.
Barbecue's always worth it soamazing.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Um, yeah, we don't got stuff like that in minnesota
, no, no, so, um, okay, so ifyou could relive any memory,
what would it be and why?
Speaker 2 (11:20):
um, there's a memory about four years ago the whole
family went to Costa Rica and mydad was gracious enough to get
us this beautiful kind of Airbnb.
It fit all.
I think it was 13 of us on thishill overlooking the ocean and
it had this infinity pool and Iremember the night family
sitting around, my nieces andnephews were all in the pool.
(11:42):
It's glowing, it's like thisperfect evening and we're
blaring the music from thebroadway musical les miserables
and we're singing.
The whole family is saying I'msure the neighbors are like what
is happening over here?
I'm doing jean valjean goinginto the pool and the kids still
talk about it.
(12:02):
I mean, it was just such a fun,like carefree moment where
everybody in the family wastogether, no arguing.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
And I love it.
I think about it a lot.
I have the picture saved on myphone to look at because it's
like that was one of thosenights.
I remember thinking in themoment like this is a memory for
me, yeah.
So what about you?
Speaker 1 (12:26):
I was actually thinking about it this morning
because, like I was like whatwould I say?
And I actually so.
We had this dog named Cliffordand he was a big, like 100-pound
Black Lab Golden Retriever.
And again, little Rock.
This was not I didn't mean tomention Little Rock this much,
but when I, like, would comehome from being in Little Rock
and I'd walk in the door and thejoy that this dog would have
(12:50):
for me, he became a lap dog andhe would just follow me around
and the moment I sat down he'dcrawl in my lap.
And I mean that dog he was Idon't want to say he wasn't my
siblings, because they might getoffended.
But, I was around more because Ilived with my parents during
law school and they, they weremarried, they moved out, and so
I just like really bonded withClifford, and then at some point
(13:13):
my parents were like well, doyou want him?
And I was like I'm, I'm in aone bedroom apartment.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
I do.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Yes, but he's living on seven acres Like I don't
think that's fair.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
That's the reason I'm a dog person.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Because you could go to the mailbox and come back.
And they're like oh, look who'shere.
Are you kidding me?
You know, the cat's just kindof ambling around the house.
It's a roommate and they'relike I'll get to you when I get
to you, no worries.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Yeah, there's just like so much of like I don't
know.
It's interesting, both ourmemories are kind of this very
carefree.
It's a good feeling, it is.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
You know, when I was thinking about it like memories,
my first thought is like youknow, some big, like I was at
the World Cup and such, but likethat was just.
That's like a bragging thing,like a good memory for me is
like the moments that I feel atpeace and carefree.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
And, like the, the moments that that I feel at
peace and carefree, and it'susually with family.
Yeah, I would say a lot of mineare too, although these days
it's not like calm with all thekids, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
I mean it's fun, but there's nothing calm about my
family, so, and yeah, maybe calmthat's not in the right word,
it's just where everybody iscomfortable and being themselves
.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Yeah, that feeling of like when you have friends or
family where you know you canjust show up and you don't have
to put a face on at all.
Like that.
I think when I first moved herewas a challenge, and when I
first moved to Little Rock was achallenge because I didn't know
anybody and so I felt like Iwas like missing this.
I don't know like communitywhere you could just show up and
(14:49):
not worry about anything.
And so, like my sister and Iused to just watch Psych, you
know, for hours on end and itdidn't matter.
You know like we'd do whateverwe wanted, and yeah, it's like
Christmas morning with my family.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
We're in the tackiest outfits, it's sweatpants and
hair's not done.
There's zero judgment and it'sjust.
There's not a care in the world.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Yeah, I do.
I feel like I've found thosefriends though now in Nashville.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Those are good to have.
It just took a moment.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Yes, yeah, and part of it also was me, me expressing
of like, hey, like.
I don't always want to go outto a bar like I want a
friendship where we can alsolike go to someone's house and
just be in sweats and like it'sstill the same.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
I think it's tough in Nashville.
It's probably in every city too, but Nashville is such a go-out
bar scene.
I mean we've got thousands ofbars, tons of rooftops and it's
a big, it's a very big.
Meet me at this bar and we'llgo.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
But I found that you've got to be intentional
with friends and like any chancewe could just do game night,
yeah, and not do bar night orbar weekend yeah, I feel like
that's partly why, like it'snice to hang with you, yeah, um,
because you'll like come to myhouse and we can just like sit
on the balcony and like.
That's like a big thing for meover the last year of being like
(16:07):
well, I can't really be out inthese loud places because of the
head injury stuff, and so it'slike to have friends who will
like come over and we can stillhave just as good a time.
You really find who your peopleare.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
That's true, and people are.
That's true, and people arealways surprised.
I mean, game night, several ofmy friends were like I don't
know, what are we playing?
I'm like just give it a whirl.
And then Elena, my friend, youknow her, she's so good at game
night stuff and she'll hostsometimes and they'll be like
I'm only going to stay an hour,Four hours in, we're screaming.
It's just a bonding experiencetoo.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Yeah, yeah.
I was going to do a grab bagquestion, but it's over there
and I don't want to go get it.
So go grab the bag.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
No.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
But there.
So here's, if I can rememberone of them what superpower
would you want to have?
Speaker 2 (17:03):
I know we're going from serious to yeah, even I, I
mean, I would love to beinvisible yeah, what?
Speaker 1 (17:12):
okay, why I?
Speaker 2 (17:14):
don't know.
I just think, um, it'd be befun to see, kind of and it's not
for a reason of like anythingother than like wanting to see
how people live.
And are they talking about me?
Speaker 1 (17:24):
are they when I leave the room?
If?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
they if I leave the room.
The other one is flying, justthe ability to like.
You know, I want to go.
I want to go to new york.
Yeah, I can go, um, but I feellike that would get exhausting,
it would mess my hair up and allthat.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
So, um, yeah probably invisible I would do
teleporting, and it's it'sbecause often at the end of the
night somewhere I'm like I wishI could just be in my bed.
Boom, or in New York, you cando teleporting.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Yeah, I've definitely thought about this a lot.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Yeah, I can tell.
I don't think strength would belike the strongest man in the
world.
I mean I'd show off a few times.
But I mean I'd show off a fewtimes, but I mean how many times
can?
Speaker 1 (18:11):
you crush a car you would get asked to do so many.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
You move this trailer for us.
Hey, we're moving on Saturday.
I'm dressed.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah, I would not, yeah, yeah, okay, so I have some
random thoughts lately.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
I love random thoughts.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Can you be friends with exes?
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yes, 100%, tell me more.
Can you be friends with exes?
Yes, 100%, tell me more.
I am, besides my long-termrelationship, I'm friends with
the three people that I've dated.
I've been here 11 years now andI am very good friends with one
, and then the two I still careabout.
For me, it's, like you know,unless it the relationship ended
(18:45):
by some sort of awful you knowthey've cheated and none of them
did uh, it was wasn't a goodfit, it wasn't a good time, that
kind of thing.
But I definitely chose thisperson because I saw something
in them.
I love their personality, Ilove them as a human.
Um, you know why wouldn't Istill want to be friends with
them?
The second part is, you know,gay community is small, so if
(19:08):
you turn your back on one, thenthey have 15 friends, you know.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
And then you're like you know, it's like just be
normal, just be nice.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
I mean I'm not going to dinner with them, but yeah,
if I see them out, hang out.
You know, chat sometimes.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
You're not, I am and I don't know well, okay, let me
think about this.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
What I?
Speaker 1 (19:30):
want to say I am, and one of them, though it has to
be like a little bit like arm'slength and like.
Last time I like was datingsomebody, I felt uncomfortable
continuing that friendship inthe same way, and so then I
started thinking, well, is thatactually fair to that guy when
(19:50):
I'm dating that?
Speaker 2 (19:51):
it changes the friendship oh, I didn't think of
that does that happen with youat all?
I can't think of an example,but I've really tried to
approach dating.
My therapist many years agogave me some advice that I have
just hung on to, and it is everydate you go on, you approach it
.
If it's a first date or seconddate, it's how does this person
(20:13):
fit into my life, or do they?
It's not?
Are they my lover?
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Are they my?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
partner.
Will I marry them?
Because I was going on datesbeing like, look at the way he's
holding that fork, I hate that.
I hate his laugh.
You know that kind of stuff.
It's like no, no no, no, don't,don't keep tallies.
Just see, are they a friend,are they a?
Speaker 1 (20:35):
networking person.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Um, maybe there's somebody at arm's length Like
you, you know they're good toknow.
Maybe in the future y'all crosspaths, you know, but I try not
to burn bridges too much, Causehe says I just life's short,
we're all here to just try tofind love and happiness.
So what if it didn't work?
It's a timing thing.
Half the time I know it wouldhave been good with this person
if I'd met them or I dated them10 years later.
(20:56):
But now they're married.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
It's interesting because I reconnected with my
last boyfriend recently and notin a romantic way at all, but
sort of just friendly, and whenthat ended ended, that would
have been challenging but it'sbeen a good.
I don't know how long eightmonths or did you reach out?
I did and there was a specificreason I don't feel like sharing
, but it was a it's good, likeit was a good conversation um
(21:24):
and like he's moved fromnashville, so it's not like it's
like a hangout yeah thing.
um, but like I'm friends withthis guy, I dated like a few
years ago and he's married and Iwas invited to the wedding and
some of my friends thought thatwas so bizarre, like you're
going to crash it.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Stand up in the in the ceremony.
I have a problem.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
But yeah, I really like his wife and so it's like
I've always ended prettycordially with people.
Cause it's like I've alwaysended pretty cordially with
people because it's not like.
I look at dating as like it'snot.
Most people are not good or bad, right, it's just, sometimes
you're just not a fit and that'sOK.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Yes, absolutely, and I mean the whole.
For me it is it's a timingissue and a situation where I
have got and it's usually I'mnot ready timing issue and in a
situation where I have got, it'susually I'm not ready like I'll
jump into a date and realize,okay, like they're really ready
to commit and I'm not.
But when I'm on the date, likethe whole point, I should have
said let's go have dinner asfriends or let's get to know
(22:19):
each other as friends.
But you know, I don't know ifit's the same in the straight
world, but you know, I get twoguys go get drinks together.
It's probably a date, you know,unless you say otherwise yeah,
I would if.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
If a guy asked me to get drinks, even if he didn't
clarify, I'd be like oh, I'mgoing on a date, yeah, yeah and
then, if it wasn't, I'd be likewell, that was foolish of you,
not me, I'm out of here yeah, umI.
I would love an update on yourdating life.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
So I didn't.
It's been many months and formany reasons.
One I moved, but two I used todye my beard here, and when I
turned 50, on my 50th birthday,I decided no more dye and I
thought this was going to takeNashville by storm.
I thought, there was going tobe posts.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
The Tennessean was going to write a story about it.
All over Instagram, people werecalling, checking on me.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
No one said a, thing, and so I was so worried about
image.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
I didn't notice that, see, now you're pointing it out
.
I'm like, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I mean, to me it was like the most shocking.
I came out.
I was like hey guys, I'm herehere and they're like great
happy birthday.
Like we're not gonna read mefor filth, for dying my beard
you're a solar fox yeah well,thank you.
But I look back, all my liketinder pics are me with a you
know a same color beard and inmy head I'm like if I show up on
(23:42):
a date and they see this,they're like how long ago are
those pictures taken?
It's all self-imposed.
So anyway, fast forward.
I got back on tinder and I havea date today.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
It's exciting where are you going?
Speaker 2 (23:56):
so, um, we're going to the wash, which is it's a
series of four.
It's in an old car wash in eastnashville.
It's a series of four or fiverestaurants amazing.
There there's a Peruvian one, aThai place, so it's a great
place, so you can just trythings.
It's outside, casual.
I put a time limit on the date.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Okay, I think that is really important.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
I said I've got two hours and I'd love to sit and
talk, because I do have a badhabit of like if it's going well
, I'm like you know you want togo out tonight or we can go
dance, and this is the firstdate.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
This is the first date, okay, so I like to do no
more than an hour and a half.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Oh, should I call and tell him we're cutting.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
No, I'm just curious, because I start to get tired
after an hour and a half andthen I don't think as much about
what I'm saying and I feel likeI start to overshare after that
, I think and I'm not 100 I'venot talked to him on the phone.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Uh, this has just been over messaging but.
I do think.
I don't think english is hisfirst language, so in my mind I
was trying to give some time forlike if we needed to slow down
and do translation better andthat kind of stuff.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
But I don't think two hours is wrong.
Yeah, I feel like I've heard ofpeople being like five hours
later.
I'm like what are you talkingabout?
Speaker 2 (25:07):
oh, and I used to do dinner.
You know it's such a commitment.
Get down going downtown park.
It's three hours on a firstdate.
Oh yeah, I will never do dinneron a first.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
I won't either now unless I'd met them like I don't
know.
If I knew him through likefriends or something, I maybe
would and I'd already, like hada conversation, knew it wouldn't
be like a complete dud yeah,well, my issue was like I was
throwing all my cards at thevery beginning it's like go.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Go to a fancy restaurant, prove that you know
how to order wine, you know howto order a cocktail, you know
how to hold your silverwareright.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
It's like I don't know any of these.
What are you doing?
Speaker 2 (25:42):
no one's ever been like.
That was an amazing first date,because you really showed us
how to you, you know.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
I feel like you've got a thing with silverware.
Now I need you to like show mewhat I'm doing wrong.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
It's just, you know it's a silly little judgy thing.
I'm over it now, but now for meit's coffee or, you know, lunch
, not dinner.
Dinner just makes it like it'stoo easy to be like, all right,
you want to go grab a drink andgo out from here, so it's a day
date and then wait a few days.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
I've heard it referred to like years ago as
the preamble, and so that's howI think of like.
If you met on an app and thenyou're just getting coffee, it's
more of like a preamble,because you don't.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
I like that and I've got to work on.
You know me, I'm a big questionasker and I had a guy one time
tell my group of friends.
They were like, how do you knowhim?
I'm like, well, we went on adate.
They were like, how did it go?
And he was like he wasn't forme.
I said, well, you can tell himwhy.
And he said it was like beinginterrogated.
In my mind I was keepingconversation going.
(26:49):
I was trying to ask a lot ofdifferent questions.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Were you responding to questions?
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
If they would say what about you?
But then in my head I'm likewhy aren't you asking me any
questions?
And I'm like well becauseyou're not letting him ask you
questions.
You're just barraging.
Where are you from originally?
Speaker 1 (27:06):
What kind of work do you do?
What's your social securitynumber, if?
Speaker 2 (27:09):
you could get rid of one vegetable, what would you
get rid of?
So today, I'm just going to becalm, let the conversation flow.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
That sounds like a cool place.
Is it newer?
Speaker 2 (27:19):
It's been open about a year now.
It's really amazing.
The food is exceptional.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
I don't get over the East very much.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
You've got to come.
Food scene is off the chain.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Yeah, I feel like it reminds me of Northeast
Minneapolis, which I love.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
That's where I lived before moving here.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
It's just got a good vibe lots of cocktail clubs and
I don't know.
You don't have to go downtownto have fun in Nashville, thank
goodness.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Thank goodness, yeah, let's see.
Okay, have you okay?
I've been watching big bangtheory lately on hbo max with
commercials I love that youadded this.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Well, there's a reason.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Okay, all right there's a commercial that keeps
coming up, a trailer for a movie, and I it's disturbing.
It's like this guy like kidnapswomen, takes them on a boat and
is like recording their murder.
Have you ever thought aboutthat?
Speaker 2 (28:15):
somebody's brain came up with that yes, when I'm
watching, especially like horroror serial killer movies, I'm
like, were you on the treadmilland you?
You were like you know what?
You know what we should do.
We should do something aboutyou know hog tying people and
I'm like who comes up with this?
Are you having a focus group?
(28:36):
Did you come up with this onyour own?
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Yeah, every time this one comes up, I'm like,
literally someone came up withthis.
This is horrifying.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
It's always like the scariest movie of all time Like
who?
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Somebody who hasn't been to therapy, I think.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
That was probably true.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Or maybe too much I don't do well.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
I don't do well with like the horror and the super
scary, because I feel like it'salways.
It always looks like the placeI'm living.
I'm like that looks like myapartment complex.
Was that filmed here?
Speaker 1 (29:03):
Yeah, I don't like scary movies.
I feel like, so like I feellike something like Texas
Chainsaw Massacre, like my brainwould concoct that out of fear,
but I would never like be likethis would be a good movie, like
because I would be like scared.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Like wandering around the house, like oh my God,
there might be like someoneabout to jump out at me.
It's like I don't want to turnthat into like something
everyone's watching.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
But how do you convince the studio too?
You're like here's what I'mthinking a crazy, a psycho is
going to carry a chainsaw aroundand murder people in farms, and
they're like I think americawould love this.
Yeah, I think this is a reallygood option for for us, but oh,
it's a little disturbing yeah,it is it is Okay.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Yeah, what do we got next?
Okay, we were going to talkabout trying new things as an
adult.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Okay, I think everybody should do this.
I mean, we tried comedy.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
For me, trying new things was it forces my
creativity juices, which I thinkis really helpful, even if you
don't think you're creative.
Like doing something new helpsyou realize, oh, I've got this
little bit of creativity in meand maybe opens up a new pathway
.
I'm a big believer in say yesto everything unless it gets you
(30:27):
killed.
That's my motto in life and soI'm like I want to be a wedding.
Um, mc, you would be amazing.
I think I want to do a businesswhere I'm a wedding.
I've been to some weddingsrecently and they're beautiful
and but, there's always like aum, you know the moment between
food and dancing and it's justlike who's going to dance and
what are they and why are theyup there, and I think it would
be fun yeah, you're like acruise director, yes, yeah.
(30:50):
I've got the jackets for it, soyou really do yeah yeah, what
about you?
Are you gonna?
Are you starting something new,or um, am I starting something
new?
Speaker 1 (30:59):
I don't, I don't know .
I mean, part of the reason I'vebeen thinking about this is
because I feel like I wentthrough this phase where I did
try a lot of new things.
So for like a long time Iwasn't.
I was just like working, tryingto get out of debt.
And then I was like I'm movingto Nashville and that was like
I'm gonna do something new oflike a new city and new way of
like making friends, like Itried.
(31:20):
You know, I made great friendsoff of Bumble BFF you did.
You've told me about amazingfriends, and then stand-up was
like this completely weird thingthat my therapist was like try
something creative, and so I dida bunch and then I feel like I
stopped and so I just have beenthinking about how it's so
(31:42):
healthy to do and I kind ofGoogled and looked up what AI
told me.
But you know that you get likea dopamine hit and it makes you
like more flexible with like howyou think and just in life, and
I definitely have seen thatfrom trying stand up of like oh,
for sure.
Just putting yourself out thereand being like I was convinced I
(32:05):
would be really bad at it and Iwas like it's fine, I like have
been humiliated in law school,Like we're fine.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
What could be worse right?
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Yeah, and so I think it's really good to have
something where you're puttingyourself in a different
environment of like it's okay,there's no like pass or fail, it
just is.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
And I didn't have a lot of that.
I think it also like confidence, confidence building is so
important um, it gets you out ofroutine.
I think a lot of people are sostuck in a routine and I'm
including myself in that whereyou just kind of go through the
motions and it's like, yeah,sometimes I was like I got class
tonight.
I gotta go comedy class.
I'm so tired.
(32:45):
But then I go and I'm likesitting in bed that night going.
I can't wait to write morejokes, I can't Like it.
Just the dopamine hit really isa thing.
I think one thing I want to tryand I'm terrified to do it is
Brazilian jiu-jitsu.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Oh, why are you terrified?
Speaker 2 (33:04):
In my mind, the first class.
I'm getting jumped in like agang and then they'll beat me up
and you know um I'll quit afterone visit um trial by fire,
right?
Speaker 1 (33:17):
yeah, let's see how you fight dude.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
I'm like no my, my barber's been trying to get me
to go for so many years and he'sI know it's a good thing I'm
intimidated, honestly, aboutgoing.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Do you remember jasmine, who you met at my
halloween party?
Oh yes she does jujitsu.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
That's how she and shane, my co-worker I had that
conversation with her marriedyeah it just seems so
intimidating to call to me towalk in with like, and it's in
my mind, it was like all men whohad just finished a massive
workout and they're justseething and ready to fight and
my barber's, like it's literallyguys that are like, hey, let's
(33:56):
practice this sparring together,and it's not about learning to
fight, it's just aboutself-control and self-discipline
.
But as long as I don't getjumped in, I don't do well with
being jumped in.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
We're just waiting for the next one.
Phillip's here.
All right, beat him, yeah.
Yeah, that's how I feel aboutlike I've been wanting to do
more weightlifting and like, asI've listened to like podcasts,
they're like everyone's supernice and I'm like I don't know
just like walking into the gymand with my like spaghetti arms
and being like sure, I can do 10pounds, yes, but and that's.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
That's why I usually go to the apartment gym, because
I go to the regular gym and Ispend the entire time like, okay
, everyone else is, looks likethey're on a focused schedule
and I'm wandering around.
I'm like, let's, let's liftthat a few times, that's, that
feels good yeah go walk and Iknow what I'm supposed to do.
I mean, I'm a physicaltherapist, but there's an
intimidation factor for me yeah,yeah, I feel like, um, let's
(34:53):
see.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
So I feel like with the trying new things like I
automatically think about likestand-up or improv or something
creative, but one thing I'vebeen noticing about myself is
like just something new of likea location also helps me feel
like happier, more uplifted oflike you know.
(35:13):
I mean I have been to LittleRock but like going there for a
week and working remotely reallyfelt like it lifted my spirits
of like just having like changeand a different not a different
habit, but routine, like yousaid I think you're exactly
right.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
I mean, even like a day trip is so invigorating and
people think like, oh, you gotta, vacation's got to be a week.
You gotta fly, you gotta.
I mean there's so many placesyou can drive to and come back
from.
I mean I went down and did thejack daniels tour, um, recently,
and I've been there before andI knew this.
I mean it was nothing new forme, but I just remember I was
(35:49):
like that was so fun.
Yeah, it's came back.
I'm like now I'm interested inhow they make whiskey and we
went and ate at Miss Mary Bobo's.
Which is this amazing likehome-cooked meal place that you
sit with people all together,family style.
You know I love that and it wasjust it.
It's fun.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Yeah, I mean, as you say, that I'm like I even love
trying a new recipe, absolutely,you know, taking it slow.
And yeah, I don't know.
I'm thinking now I'm like, whatnew thing am I trying?
I guess selling a house.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
That's a thing, that's a thing.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Well, the meditation.
For me that was a.
It's a new thing.
We're working on it.
The most recent thing that Idid that was a new experience
was my romance novel writingclass I forgot you did that it
was amazing have you finishedyour first novel no, no, of
course not.
And also like I did startwriting more because I've always
enjoyed like creative writing.
But I started writing more andI turned it, so like at the end
(36:53):
our teacher was like you canturn in some writing and I like
turned it.
I was like so this is notromance, it's not even a kiss
Thank you, it made me supercreative.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
Well, that was going to be my question.
What's like the one thing youtook, or?
Speaker 1 (37:07):
maybe you took several things.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
What's one thing you took from a romance writing
class?
Speaker 1 (37:13):
I the other.
It was all women which it couldhave been men but it was all
women.
I was so impressed with howpassionate those women were
about this like they knew somuch they were so excited about
it.
They talked about it like veryseriously and were very engaged
and like I was fascinated bylike the plot structure and like
(37:34):
it was fun to talk about likecliches and it was just really
cool to see people who are superpassionate about something and
they're pursuing it, and notnecessarily without fear, but
it's like I often have, like alimiting belief of like well, I
mean I'd put in all this workand like it's not going to get
published, Right, what's thepoint?
(37:55):
And so then I like don't do it,but like the point is the
enjoyment of the process, and soI really liked seeing that and
so there can.
I haven't been able to go, butthe second Saturday of each
month they're meeting up and soI offered they're coming to my
house in June, so I'm hosting,even though I'm like still don't
(38:15):
have any romance written at alland I don't really read romance
a lot and if I do, it's more oflike rom-com, but I learned
there are things out there.
I was like, is this stillromance?
(38:36):
More of like rom-com, but Ilearned there are things out
there.
Our teacher was always likedon't take anyone's.
Yum, I love that.
Should be a t-shirt, itprobably don't anyone job.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
I love that.
Remember, in in comedy class,you know, I had like a writer's
block and trying to figure outand one of the things it was
just to start writing, just tostart.
Don't limit yourself to like,okay, what's this about?
And I would sit at the coffeeshop and I would just I'm not
writing.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
I was typing and it was just sentence upon sentence
and then suddenly something kindof clicks and you're like huh
let me, let's start there now,and yeah for me it's like if you
, if you say no or you limityourself, it's like I mean
you're not going to experienceit yeah, yeah, and that's like
last night when I was trying towrite a joke because it's been
(39:22):
so long since I felt thatcreative yeah and so I just
started writing and I like Isaid I noticed myself editing
and then I was like stop editing, just right.
And then, as I did, I started.
I was like oh, that's funny.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
I was like I could maybe have that for an open mic
soon well remember Mark told usabout like writing so many jokes
a night just come home andwrite five jokes and I'm like in
my mind it made no sense.
To me, like, how do you just sitdown and write a joke, right,
and then it just and 99% of theones I've written are pretty bad
, but so the one, some of theones that I've used in sets, are
(40:01):
great and they land and I'veworked on them and you've helped
me edit them, and it wouldnever have happened if I hadn't
just let that creative processgo yeah, and I think because
it's been six months or actuallysince whatever January, I don't
know since I've done a show andI've been really happy taking a
break and a lot of that is justwith um work and different
(40:25):
things.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
right, it takes a lot of energy to be going out
consistently, but a lot of myold jokes are not exactly
relevant anymore for me Of likeI could go out and just like do
them.
I'm thinking about my dog jokeand I'm like we won't go into
why that's not going to berelevant.
(40:46):
It's so dark.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
It's dark, I do like it, I do like it.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
But I was like I could rewrite that in a little
bit.
Yeah, and yeah, and some of theother ones too, where I'm like,
oh, like my life has changed,but it doesn't, so I don't know.
So I've been thinking aboutgoing back and like working on
them.
Speaker 2 (41:05):
I do like going back and reading them too, Cause it's
like I'll read it and be likethat's I'm not going to use that
joke anymore.
But the thought behind it, theidea, is something that I want
to put in, something that's moreof a mature not mature maybe,
but a different joke.
So I try to keep everything Iwrite.
It's embarrassing to go backand reread sometimes, and I even
audio recorded, like some ofthe sets my first sets and
(41:28):
listening back and I'm like, ohmy gosh, this is bad babe.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
But you did it, I did it.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
I'm proud and you, you did great with your show.
You were so gracious to let mecome on your show several times
and it was a great experience.
I try new things.
Say yes to it.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
Yeah yeah, totally different.
But one thing I do.
Actually, I'm not 100 sure Iwant to try this, but part of me
says I want to primitivecamping okay, I'm quickly trying
to figure out the differencebetween camping and primitive
camping I think it's the toiletsituation.
(42:07):
Okay, so we're talking.
You're going into, you're in atent in the woods and you're
doing your business alone.
Well, I think so.
I mean, I was thinking I'd havea dog and I.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
Why are you going alone?
Speaker 1 (42:21):
You're going to have to drop a pin.
I'm not going to, you're notgoing alone into the campsite.
Well, okay, so I think I wantto hike the appalachian trail at
some point.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
oh my gosh and in order to do that.
Speaker 1 (42:33):
You need to be able to just like sleep outside,
which I currently don't think Icould do.
So I feel like I want to tryprimitive camping in like south
cumberland state park, becauseit's there and like that feels
decently safe.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Will you have weapons with you?
I?
Speaker 1 (42:54):
think I would, I think so.
This is I'm not even sayingthis year okay.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
Okay, not even saying two years.
Why don't you take Brazilianjiu-jitsu?
Speaker 1 (43:02):
with me.
I mean maybe like a taser orsomething.
But yeah, I want, I think Iwant to hike the Appalachian
Trail and you have to be able todo that.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
I love that.
I mean, it sounds horrifying,but I feel like I want to.
I do like the idea of campinglike a day or two, but for me
it's like I'm bringing so much Iwant to cook an amazing meal.
I want, I don't want like apackage to you know, add water
protein bar.
Yeah, no, I want to do a filet,you know, with a cast iron
(43:35):
skillet.
So I've got to have a trailerwith me to make sure I can get
everything there.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
I just imagine you like hiking in with this like
red two pack mules.
Speaker 2 (43:46):
Well, it's funny, my um, we went out to montana years
a few years ago and one of theoptions was camping and I was
like, I told my brother I waslike john david, like I'm, I'm
willing to try this, and he sentme the picture and it's a, it's
a tent with a chandelier in it.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
It's kind of it's it's glamping I'm like oh, you
should have said glamping, I'mready, let's glamp, honey,
that's okay.
I am so far from being able todo this that, like I was looking
at glamping and I was like Idon't know, I mean I'd have to
(44:22):
walk 10 feet in the dark to thehouse.
I was too scared.
Speaker 2 (44:28):
We got a little work to do before.
I will let you go on theAppalachian Trail alone, because
how many?
This is my ignorance.
How long is the AppalachianTrail?
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Very long Are we talking, but you can do sections
and you want to do the wholething.
No, oh, okay, I would do like aweek section, I think.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
Like a week as the time frame.
Also.
A week, yeah, for me, I don'tknow.
I just I feel like there's likesomething to being out there on
your own, like I love hikingand I that's something newer.
(45:03):
Where I've tried it like Ididn't really hike very much
before moving here, and now I'mlike I've been to Yosemite and
Zion and Smoky Mountains andthere's I don't know, there's
nothing like just being insilence in the woods and it's
like, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
I love that.
I really wish I.
I don't know if I don't lovebeing by myself.
I don't know if I don't lovebeing by myself as much as I
feel like I might get boredbecause I have to talk you can
talk.
Can you imagine passing me onthe trail?
You're good, phillip, peoplelove you.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
Thank you so much.
Do you hike?
Yes, I said that veryemphatically no.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
I was like I don't know that we Do you hike.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
Oh, okay, I said that very emphatically.
No, I was like I don't knowthat we've ever talked about
this.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
So I do enjoy it.
I don't do it regularly, butwent to Scotland last year with
my father and my two brothersand they really wanted to do
some amazing hikes out there.
And I didn't know anythingabout this, and so they were
like buy hiking clothes so yes,I've got a you know the hike
(46:05):
store.
I'm like, dress me, and so thisgirl picked out all this hike
it had everything and I'm likeuh, columbia, oh yeah, that's
good too.
Yeah, it was at Bopper Mills andit was on sale, so I didn't
want to spend a ton um, and Iabsolutely loved it.
It was, it was raining.
I'm don't walk in the rain.
I love the rain, I love the it,just something about it.
I don't know if it was thelocation, but I came back and,
like you, can officially saythat you enjoy hiking.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
I mean, I feel like it's, I like being like a little
scared and like it's just alittle too hard for me, and yet
I did it.
And then you can go home andtake a hot shower.
Yes, it's a challenging.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
It's something challenging, it's a dopamine hit
too, I mean it's something thatyou've got to be laser focused
especially.
Um, remember you talking aboutbeing on the trail and maybe it
was.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
Utah summer.
Yeah, like there's a cliffsummer, stop you have to be
laser.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
Focused on that.
I mean yes um, but I love thatyou're wanting to do that.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
I think that's yeah, I feel like we'll we'll work up
towards it yeah I mean, it'll bein baby steps, and my roommate
did say he would teach me how tostart a fire.
So we're starting this is yeah,let's say we've got a few weeks
before you're really yeah, Iwas like do you think the hoa
would get mad if I just go goout?
You're?
Speaker 2 (47:18):
out in the front.
What is she doing?
She's starting a fire.
She's hiking soon.
Don't worry about it, just inthe middle of Bellevue, I mean
surely they've got fire starterkit, like something little you
can just do.
Are you wanting to do like theI don't know.
Speaker 1 (47:33):
Yeah, I mean I'll be reading a lot of blogs going to
REI.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
You will be well, I know you will well research this
.
Well research, I know you will.
Speaker 1 (47:42):
Yes, okay, lately I've been obsessing over
gluten-free savory crepes fromRed Bicycle in Germantown, I
mean.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
Well, that fit on one page.
Did you stumble on this byaccident or?
Speaker 1 (48:01):
no, so I used to live right by there oh, that's right
, I forgot about that but Iwouldn't really get the crepes
very often and I was just likesuper hungry the other day and I
went in and got it and thisbalsamic crepe is so good and I
had had crepes better than thiseven when I was in france, and
that's when I first learned likethey like stuff their crepes
(48:23):
and they're so amazing.
But yeah, lately I've just beenlike, I'm like I think I'll just
go alone, I just like park andwalk over, and I did it
yesterday.
Speaker 2 (48:31):
I just feel like I need to try this now.
You haven't had them.
Speaker 1 (48:34):
Not, not that, not that particular I mean I love
crepes, but okay, it's reallygood Okay.
Yeah, I don't know.
Red Bicycle, they're not openin the nations anymore.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
Oh, Are they?
Speaker 1 (48:43):
in the East.
I know they're in Germany.
I just know Germantown.
Speaker 2 (48:46):
Yeah, I think the only one I know is Germantown.
Speaker 1 (48:48):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (48:49):
My latest obsession is I'm trying to perfect making
salsa.
Ooh, I've got a red salsa.
That's pretty good, but I feellike it doesn't impress people
and I want to show up with asalsa and people are like did
you see Philip's salsa that hebrought?
And so I've been working onthis.
It's using tomatillos, so it'sa green salsa.
(49:13):
Yeah, I made it for the firsttime last weekend, after
obsessing over it for about amonth how to roast the serrano,
how to do this, how to make itperfectly authentic.
I made it for the first timelast weekend, after obsessing
over it for about a month how toroast the serrano, how to do
this, how to make it perfectlyauthentic.
I probably should have takenthe seeds out of the serrano.
It was about a nine in my mouth, like it was like.
So I had to let everyone elseI'm like tell me about it.
Is it good, do you like it?
(49:35):
So I'm going to keep working onit, but I need to make it to
where everybody can enjoy it.
A little kick.
Speaker 1 (49:40):
Did you start from a recipe?
And are evolving.
Speaker 2 (49:43):
So I went to a restaurant in Houston near the
beginning of the year and it wasa traditional Mexican
restaurant and they had sixsauces on the table and I loved
that.
Like, give me some stuff to dipin, mix and match.
But I always found myself goingfor, like the traditional, like
a little chunky tomato salsa,but they had several other ones
and I'm like I don't know thethe waitress is like I said,
(50:05):
what's your favorite?
If you were going to dietonight, you could only have one
more bite of salsa.
Which one?
And she, no, she went and itwas the salsa de aguacate, I
think, and it's it's got umavocado in it, fresh avocado,
lots of lime oh my gosh, thatsounds it's it's divine, um.
So I used the recipe that theyused because they had a cookbook
(50:27):
.
So I got the cookbook, ofcourse, um, but then I've been
finding other versions of it.
Speaker 1 (50:31):
I'm gonna see if I can make so um, make it your own
, so that it will be my philips.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
I can't wait to try it, I will make it for you Low
spice.
Speaker 1 (50:41):
Okay, before we wrap up, I got a couple of things.
Did you have anyrecommendations for our
listeners that you want to share?
Speaker 2 (50:49):
Yeah, podcast-wise, I just binged a podcast called
the Redefector.
It's a true story about aRussian spy.
I think his name's VitalyOrshenko.
He went into a US embassy andsaid he wanted to, you know,
give secrets and I won't giveanything away, but it's a
(51:11):
fascinating journey of was hereally doing that?
Was he still working for Russia,was it?
And the things that happened.
It's a true story, um, but it'sa.
It's amazing.
And then I just finished um,all the colors of the dark.
Um, it's.
I think it came out in 24,obsessed, I didn't read, I
listen audible because I like tomultitask, but it's the point
(51:35):
where I would be like workingand like stop.
I'm like it's a.
It's the point where I would belike working and like stop.
I'm like it's about two kidswho have an incident and then
how that incident just changesthe whole course of their lives.
It's about finding youridentity, women's independence,
abuse.
It's a very, very good.
(51:55):
I can't wait for the moviebecause it's fascinating.
Speaker 1 (51:58):
Interesting.
I haven't heard of that.
Um I, the one I was going torecommend today is a podcast.
Okay, um, have you heard ofdiary of a ceo?
no okay, so really interestingpodcast.
But in particular, there is anepisode from march 17th from the
speaking coach and he's like atrial lawyer, but he coaches
people on how to speak andcommunicate more effectively.
(52:21):
And I love this episode becauseI've already like used things
that he suggests, like beforeyou respond to somebody, take a
breath and it shows like you'relistening.
And the thing I've used at workis I always used to say like
just checking in, and instead ofthat it's I wanted to check in
(52:44):
and so it's more like assertiveand like.
It's super interesting how hesays like using assertive
language leads to moreconfidence.
You don't feel confident andthen use assertive language.
It's like an action that bringsabout a feeling.
Speaker 2 (52:58):
I need you to send me that.
I definitely will.
I would love to listen to that.
I've sent it to a lot of peoplenow.
Speaker 1 (53:03):
And just you know it's about like being assertive
as a woman is challenging, letme put it that way of like you
know, there's this balance ofhow you're perceived, and so
I've always struggled with thata lot in law, and so I've always
struggled with that a lot inlaw.
And so just saying, like I am adirect person, I just want to
be direct, I don't want that tobe perceived in a bad way, um,
(53:27):
because it has been in the past.
So hearing how he like coachespeople is super interesting.
Speaker 2 (53:33):
I think and I think for you, I mean female and then
a lawyer.
Those both come with certain…Connotations.
Speaker 1 (53:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (53:43):
And so I think that's… I would love to listen
to that.
Speaker 1 (53:47):
I think we all need to.
It's so good, yeah, so what areyou looking forward to this
week, phillip?
Speaker 2 (53:53):
This week.
I'm looking forward to a very,very busy week at work, but it's
going great.
I'm super excited about itbecause we've got a bunch of new
patients coming in.
I've got a dinner planned witha very good friend that I went
to high school with, and it'sone.
I love the friends where youdon't have to check in all the
time, but as soon as you gettogether it's an immediate,
(54:15):
you're right back where you wereand there's no judgment.
It could be six hours, sixmonths, six years, it's just.
It's fun and healthy and she'sso supportive and loving and her
family's great, so I justalways leave there feeling good.
So I'm excited for that, yeah.
Speaker 1 (54:29):
I'm really excited for my dad and my nephew to get
here.
Yeah, my nephew's been callingme like every other day.
I learned that you can screenshare on FaceTime from him.
He's showing me where I'mlocated on the map, what we're
going to do.
He's nine and I'm like cool.
Speaker 2 (54:47):
Has he been here before?
Speaker 1 (54:48):
He has, but it's been over three years.
Speaker 2 (54:50):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (54:51):
Since I moved into my house.
Speaker 2 (54:53):
This will be exciting for him, because, six-year-old
in Nashville, nine-year-old inNashville, yes, he wants to go
to.
Speaker 1 (54:58):
Broadway.
Speaker 2 (55:01):
I'll take him.
Speaker 1 (55:03):
We did go before, but it was like middle of the day
and I think that's what we'regoing to do again.
He's like I want to go get thatice cream again, Like that's
what everyone goes to Broadwayfor.
Speaker 2 (55:12):
I love it.
There's also one of the newerbars closer to the end where you
can watch the bull riding fromoutside you don't have to be in
the bar.
He might enjoy that.
Speaker 1 (55:23):
Cool.
Well, thank you.
Thanks for being here, Phillipthis was very fun.
Speaker 2 (55:25):
Thank you, nicole, I appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (55:28):
And I don't know how to end this, so thank you all
for being here.
Speaker 2 (55:30):
Thank you Bye.
Speaker 1 (55:31):
Bye.
Thanks for listening to myCrunchy Zen Era.
Please subscribe.
Listening to my crunchy zen era.
Please subscribe and leave areview wherever you listen to
your podcasts.
This podcast is produced by me,nicole swisher, and my good
friends summer hardcup and lizcolder, editing is by drew
harrison media and recording isdone by lagos creative in
nashville, tennessee.
(55:52):
Thanks for hanging out.
We'll be back next week.
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