December 2, 2025 • 54 mins
A one-round qualifier shouldn’t feel like a marathon, but it can when you’re rusty, running a growing business, and trying to be present at home. We open up about chasing a mid-60s number in Palm Springs after limited play, why short game and speed control are the fastest route to readiness, and how to structure practice that actually transfers from the bay to the course. You’ll hear the honest hurdles too: injury history, fitness that supports rather than drains, and the fight to avoid swinging harder under pressure and paying for it the next day.
Then we go deeper with mental performance coach Daniel Schuler, who cuts through clichés and gets to the story beneath performance. He challenges the “always/never” language that sneaks into our identity, reframes what it really means to say no, and shows how boundaries protect presence. We explore why affirmations fall flat without truth, how social media and results-only praise shape false narratives, and the power of defining opportunity, worth, and success on your own terms. The goal isn’t just a better score; it’s an identity that travels with you—same hat, different settings, clearer choices.
If you’ve ever watched a new swing feel evaporate after seven swings, or felt torn between family time and a can’t-miss project, this conversation will give you tools to reset expectations, design smarter reps, and cut through the noise. Daniel also shares how he’s expanding his coaching with a new site, online community, and workshops, plus a free onboarding call to see if you’re a fit. Tap play, share with a friend who needs a mindset tune-up, and subscribe to catch the next round. If this helped you, leave a quick review—it helps others find the show.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:14):
Welcome to the My Golf Source Podcast.
It's been a minute, man.
Yeah, it has, buddy.
Thanksgiving, vacation, Mexico.
SPEAKER_02 (00:24):
Sí, senor.
Sickness.
Oh.
Yeah, exactly.
No, Mexico was a good time forsure.
Yeah, first family vacation in15 years since Kimberly and I's
honeymoon in St.
Lucia.
SPEAKER_00 (00:38):
St.
Lucia's awesome.
I've been there.
SPEAKER_02 (00:40):
Yeah, we uh spent most of our time on the Sandals
Resort, but uh it was an amazingcountry to visit.
Did a little uh zip lining,played a little golf.
Nice.
So yeah, the grass over there isa lot thicker than the grass
here.
SPEAKER_00 (00:52):
If you haven't had the opportunity, go to Barbados.
Oh, the oceans look good.
It's so much nicer.
It's so much nicer than St.
I mean, St.
Lucia was great, don't get mewrong, but nothing compared to
Barbados.
SPEAKER_02 (01:05):
Uh I'm like that with the Dominican.
I like the DR a ton.
You get down there in the PuntaCana, Costa Campo, really good
golf courses, really good food,service is perfect.
So you didn't even haveThanksgiving.
You came home Thanksgiving day.
Yeah, we were on we were onairplane Thanksgiving, um, but
we were there for 10 days.
So there's actually quite a fewgolf courses in the area.
(01:28):
Um how many did you play?
Sero.
Yeah, Riviera Maya.
SPEAKER_00 (01:34):
And how is that helping you prepare for a
tournament coming up?
SPEAKER_02 (01:37):
I think the idea is uh when you get to a certain
level, the goal with this wholething that we'll talk about is
that you can prepare prettyquickly.
A lot of it's mindset, um,performance.
I think the hardest thing aboutbeing on vacation with my
mentality is sitting.
Like I have a really hard timesitting still.
Everything I do is like wantingto move around.
SPEAKER_00 (01:59):
A wise word of advice I heard once was to
prepare for a job interview.
Don't think about the jobinterview.
SPEAKER_02 (02:06):
Yeah.
No, I don't know.
Don't do anything to prepare.
Just I think there's there'ssome get your mind off of it.
Some truth to that.
Yeah, for sure.
But ultimately, though, I thinkby practicing a certain way and
by doing it the right way, itwill um make sure that you don't
have any doubts in your mind aswell.
So I think there's definitelysome performance attributes.
I mean, you need to be able tosee your ball doing what you
(02:28):
want it to do to prepare, butum, should we tell the you know
what what we're up against herefor the podcast?
So yeah, so I am trying toqualify um through Tailormade
Golf.
I was invited for the TailormadeTP Classic.
It's a um it's an event thatthey have all over the country,
and there's five of them, Ibelieve.
(02:50):
And this one's in Palm Springsto qualify for Pebble Beach.
Okay.
So um there's a few hundred prosdown there.
Um, we're gonna see new productlaunch launched while we're down
there as well.
Trying to do some newtechnology, new drivers.
Played at Ironwood Country Club.
Um, so a really nice facility inPalm Springs.
And uh yeah, I just haven'tplayed a lot of golf with golf
(03:13):
garage going on.
I played sim leagues, sobasically touched my clubs once
a week prior to leaving.
It's been almost 20 days.
Um, but I started trainingyesterday.
So how'd it feel?
Uh first time grabbing clubs.
SPEAKER_00 (03:28):
It's not quite like riding a bike, is it?
SPEAKER_02 (03:29):
No, it is.
It is so funny how you stillhave to hold the club and grip
it and how the grip feels alittle foreign, and and you just
kind of get used to that and youjust try to get comfortable, you
know.
And I think ultimately mentally,it's always there.
Like I know what it feels liketo hit a 50-yard shot.
I know what my eight iron shoulddo.
I know what my swing should feellike, but then sometimes maybe
the ball doesn't do exactly whatyou want because you're, you
(03:50):
know, you haven't been usingthat motion.
SPEAKER_00 (03:52):
I w I want to pick up on that real quick, but
first, this tournament in PalmSprings you're playing in, what
what's the goal?
SPEAKER_02 (03:58):
Yeah, I mean, my goal is to win.
So I'm not I'm not going downwithout any other thought other
than that.
And so I think a lot of it rightnow, I'm in the stage of knowing
what the goal is.
And then I wake up and say, oh,I gotta go to work still.
Okay, where am I gonna practiceout?
So really preparing.
Um, and ultimately, in short, Ithink it comes down to um
(04:19):
mindset more for me right now,and then also making sure my
body's gonna hold up through acourse of a round from not
playing because when I get intothe competition, I definitely
notice that physically I willswing harder at the golf ball
and then I will strain somethingor feel fatigued after one
round.
So the beauty of this event isit is 18 holes, it is not a 72,
(04:42):
you know, whole snail race.
Yeah, I just have to go makebirdies and try to eliminate
bogeys.
And so, you know, 63 is on mymind.
That's like literally it.
I think if I if I go down thereand shoot anything between 63
and 66, I'm gonna be pumped,right?
Because the last time I playedcompetitive golf um and shot
(05:02):
that number has probably been ayear um to, you know, shoot in
that mid-60s range.
What's at stake?
Um, so nothing, right?
I have nothing to lose andeverything to gain.
So I think that's ultimately it.
And, you know, the road toPebble Beach is exciting, but
that's not why I'm doing it.
I'm doing it because it's just agoal and it's um it's a fun
(05:23):
event for me, too.
So I'm looking at just trying toget down there and trying to get
comfortable as fast as possible.
SPEAKER_00 (05:29):
Love it.
And if you play well in this,where do you go?
What yeah, so you disqualifiesyou for what?
SPEAKER_02 (05:35):
Yeah, so you have to win.
So if you win, you immediatelyget invited to the Pebble Beach
um event, the Taylor Made TPClassic.
SPEAKER_00 (05:42):
Um now we're talking some tour exemption stuff,
right?
Have you you know I don't know?
SPEAKER_02 (05:46):
So so this one, no.
Um, but because of yeah, so thisisn't a PGA tour event.
Um, this is the Tailormade.
So this is something that's anational event for Tailormade.
Um, and there's some good prizemoney in it for sure.
Um, and if you win these events,there's prize money.
I think you get a surfboard andlike some things like that.
But um, at the end of the day,um, I think it just comes down
(06:08):
to my my bigger goal isn'tnecessarily Pebble Beach.
Um my bigger goal is to qualifyfor the national um professional
championships in the next coupleof years and to get my game back
to where it used to be.
And and primarily in order to dothat, I have to play pain-free.
And I've had some chronic injuryand some things like that in my
shoulder that we're working onright now, just to see what that
(06:29):
does in tournament play.
Um, and actually giving myself achance.
Cause when I play in pro amps, Imean it's like, all right, I'll
show up an hour early.
I haven't hit balls in a week,it's not a big deal.
If I shoot under par grade, if Ishoot, you know, it's not going
to be above 75 very often, youknow, that's fine.
But um, in an event where I'mactually preparing, I'm I'm a
(06:50):
little bit more excited for it.
I wake up um excited.
I would say that this morning,because it was the first day
after going, I woke up a littletired.
Um, I am also trying to get moresleep.
So, you know, I think there'sjust this big process um in play
here that I played enoughcompetitive golf that I know
what I need to do two weeks outand a week out, but I also need
(07:11):
a lot of help from my friends.
And so the biggest keys arenumber one, already checking the
box of saying that I went to thedoctor, the PT says your body's
fine.
Um, go do these things.
Here's a few motion things thatI would do differently, right?
Just to help eliminate some ofthat pain, right?
So now we're training properly.
(07:33):
Then I go to our fitnessprofessional, just our lead
trainer, Matt Preston.
And from there it turns into,okay, based on what the doctor
said, we're gonna get into thisstuff.
We're not gonna make you feelreally sore from the workout,
but we're gonna try to stimulateyour body to say, okay, cool,
you're in fighting shape, you'rein the middle of the tour
(07:53):
season, it's time to go playcompetitive golf and you know,
functionally move the way I needto move for 18 holes.
Right.
Right.
And then it's up to me to createmy feels.
So what does that look like?
It turns into, okay, I need tochip and putt my brains out.
I need to feel really, reallygood around the greens just with
contact.
(08:14):
So is my speed good?
Right?
Is my distance control good onmy chips?
And then it turns into um, youknow, the pitching side of it
and then some full swing.
Ultimately, full swing for me isthe least of it.
I just want to make sure thatI'm hitting it on the center of
the face.
SPEAKER_00 (08:29):
So when you're playing when you're hitting your
ball well and it feels right,but you've made a little bit of
a change or adapted a little bitto get to that feeling, how many
strokes does it take or how muchtime does it take to kind of
cement that muscle memory?
SPEAKER_02 (08:45):
Yeah.
So I figured that I could takesix months off and I could be
ready for a tournament in sixdays.
Wow.
So I've already sorted that outprobably about five years ago.
Um, because I was going, I'vegone through so many swing
changes due to injury.
Um I had a ganglion system, mywrist, we got rear-ended by a
car that hit us at 40 at astandstill.
Um, so whiplash, um, just somany different things where
(09:07):
muscles are overworking becauseof that.
Um, and so I think having tochange my swing fully two times
plus growing up learning how toswing, and then finding my
swing, those are all different,right?
And so finally, when I found myswing, it made me realize what
my body's able to do and for howlong it can do it before it
(09:29):
needs rest.
SPEAKER_00 (09:30):
Now, I just had a major, major change in my swing
that Coach Ryan has been workingwith me on.
And I've I gotta be honest, Iwas super, super excited because
all of a sudden I'm striking theball well, I'm hitting the ball
15 yards further, I'm hittingthe ball straight, but then it
gets discouraging because youtend to revert slowly but
(09:54):
surely, you revert back to yourold habits.
How long for somebody like me,how long for an amateur golfer
does it take to really cementthis new movement that you're
trying to create?
I mean, I've I I I I go inthere, I work with some some
some training aids, I geteverything dialed in, I feel
(10:14):
good, I go over to the bay nextdoor and I start swinging clubs
without the training aids, and Ihit five, six, seven great
shots, and then it starts torevert back.
And I don't know how, I don'tknow why, and I have to go back
to the training aids to dial itin.
SPEAKER_02 (10:28):
Yeah, and what it sounds like is you're paying
attention to the result, right?
So are you actually going backto your old habit or are you in
the middle of making thesemotion changes that do take a
long time because you'recreating new neuropathways in
your brain to say it's okay toswing this way, right?
You're learning how to trust anew feel that you haven't
(10:51):
created because you haven't doneit enough times.
Maybe you haven't seen the shotshape enough times to have the
confidence to step foot on a Tor on an uneven lie to pull that
off, right?
Because in golf, it's not theevery shot is so different.
Right.
Right.
And you're not just hitting astock eight iron 150 yards on a
(11:12):
level line every time, right?
So in the in the simulatorsetting, it's great because you
are able to do that.
And it's giving you theopportunity to rinse, wash, and
repeat.
And so if you can't do it 10 outof 10 times in here, then you're
probably not going to do it morethan one to two times out of 20
out on the golf course.
(11:33):
Right.
And so that thought of 10,000balls, I don't buy that.
I think ultimately you do needto see something different
happen in order to your in orderto create change, right?
Because you have to say, oh,that's what's supposed to happen
when X happens, right?
Right.
And if you can kind ofunderstand that, so if you go
back in for another lesson,you're trying to maybe even dial
(11:55):
in what your goals are even to asmaller level than what you
think.
Because when I saw you andyou're using the training aid, I
didn't think you were using thetraining aid the right way.
And so I gave you a littlemodification in the And you were
100% right.
SPEAKER_00 (12:11):
And then I started practicing that way, and I got
my shots dialed in the way Iwanted them.
I took them next door to the baywithout the training aids, and
I'm hitting good shots like Iwas with the training aids.
But then after about six orseven of those good shots, my
ball striking, my shot shapebegins to revert back to where
(12:36):
to being problematic.
Yeah, and I think I go back intothe training aids, fix it, go
back to the bay next door, andafter seven, eight, nine shots,
it starts to revert back to theold habit.
SPEAKER_02 (12:47):
So what you need to do is let's say you hit 10 golf
balls, right?
And of those 10 golf balls, youneed to create what your
expectation is.
You just created a new change.
Of those ten balls, how many ofthe ten should be the way you
want to hit them?
But what do you think that wouldbe?
In the sim?
Yeah.
10.
So as of right now, with a weekof practice, you think you
should already be 10 out of 10?
SPEAKER_00 (13:08):
Oh, of course not.
SPEAKER_02 (13:09):
Okay, so where should you be right now?
SPEAKER_00 (13:13):
After just after warming up with the training
aids, I'd like to hit five outof ten, six out of ten.
SPEAKER_02 (13:18):
Okay, that's a super high standard.
Right.
So the way I look at it, when Ilearn something new, especially
in a golf swing, which is a hugemotion change that has like
infinite moving parts, it mightbe one out of ten the first
week.
And then it's two out of ten,and then three out of ten, and
then all of a sudden, yeah,maybe you might jump to five or
six out of ten.
(13:39):
But think about it as walking,think about it as throwing a
football, think about it as allthose things.
How many times did you try?
Right.
And you also have some coachinggoing on to help you, but you
don't have somebody helping youwhile you're practicing, and
that's probably the biggest lostart is how am I supposed to
practice?
So maybe that's the the questionyou need to be asking um in your
(14:00):
next session is what am I doing?
How many reps?
What am I looking for?
If I get frustrated, when shouldI stop?
How do I practice?
SPEAKER_00 (14:08):
It's pretty easy.
Yep.
Well, enough about me, enoughabout our vacations and making
everybody jealous.
Yeah, for sure.
You know, I'm excited.
So let you introduce our gueststoday.
SPEAKER_02 (14:19):
Yeah, our guest is none other than the Daniel
Schuler, our mental performancecoach at the Golf Academy, and
he's got some new things comingup.
We've had him on the show oncebefore.
Welcome, Daniel.
Yeah, welcome.
SPEAKER_01 (14:34):
How are you guys doing?
It's good to be back.
Yeah, welcome.
SPEAKER_02 (14:36):
Good to have you, man.
Can you tell us a little bitabout your new new endeavor?
Because obviously, last time inyour journey, you were in Texas,
you're still in Texas, but youryour focus might be changing a
little bit.
Can you share some of that withus?
SPEAKER_01 (14:52):
Yeah.
So it's not uh it's notessentially that the focus is
changing, but the way in whichI'm sort of promoting myself is
changing.
So I've been doing referral andword of mouth essentially since
I started, and which has beengreat.
But I've just come to thispoint.
I've I've coached just over athousand people in the past six
(15:13):
and a half, seven years, whichhas been amazing.
Um, and now I'm at the pointwhere I have a team that's
building out a website, and sothere's gonna be an online
community, there's gonna be freeresources for people.
Um, you know, I'm getting moreinto the keynote speaking
corporate workshop situation.
I'm still gonna do one-on-ones,but uh, I just realized that in
(15:35):
order for me, it's like I caneither help less amount of
people a ton, or I can help aton of people a little bit, you
know, and so that's kind of thethe idea of now I'm still doing
word of mouth and referral, butnow it's just gonna be on a
digital, more of a digital scalethan I was before.
So revamping the website, youknow, people will be able to
book me through there, um, doinga lot more marketing promotions,
(15:57):
starting my own podcast uh toget some um traction there as
well.
So it's pretty, pretty exciting.
SPEAKER_02 (16:03):
Dude, that's exciting.
Congrats on taking the leap.
So um this will be yourfull-time job moving forward, or
are you still doing some otherstuff?
SPEAKER_01 (16:10):
Yeah, so this is this is takes up about 85% of my
time right now.
Um, and so the other stuff I'veactually transitioned into now
more of a leadership developmentrole because that that's that
was always the plan.
Um, but I was I also held a lotof value in what they needed
over there.
Um, and then now I'm working alot more closely with the reps
(16:32):
and one-on-ones and doingcorporate workshops for them and
that sort of thing.
SPEAKER_02 (16:36):
So you you have a clientele base, you're looking
at going global at this point.
How hard is it do you think tobreak into this market?
SPEAKER_01 (16:46):
Uh for who?
SPEAKER_02 (16:47):
Just for you to get get this thing going to where
you see it being.
SPEAKER_01 (16:52):
So I don't know if it's a because I'm already
global in the sense of you know,some of my clients are in Asia
and Europe and you know, kind ofaround the states, but I think
it's just more of the thepresence because I'm I'm already
sustaining based off of whereI'm at now.
So now it's just making it moreavailable to other people.
(17:14):
Um, so I don't I don'tnecessarily think it's quote
unquote hard to break into.
I think it's just more of amatter of to what extent is it
gonna explode to and how fastwill it take?
Because it could, you know, withsocial media, you never know.
You can post really good videos,post 10 videos, and they get 10
views, and then the 11th videoyou get a million views, and now
(17:35):
you've got 500 clients, youknow.
So it just it really depends.
I think it's just gonna be amatter of consistency, just
getting more value out there,and then I'm also creating a
course so people will be able topay to have access to um modules
on essentially kickstarting youridentity and uh how to walk
through on your own.
Because that's my whole thewhole goal is to create autonomy
(17:57):
for people.
I don't want them to need me,and I know that's not
necessarily a good businessmodel, but the whole the whole
point is for someone to leave menot needing me anymore.
Yep.
That's the whole thing.
That's why even withone-on-ones, it's one session
every two weeks for six weeks.
After six weeks, you're done.
And if you want to keep workingwith me, you can, but you
usually don't need to becauseyou've been equipped with the
(18:19):
tools that you need.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (18:21):
I feel that way about golf.
I mean, ultimately, at somelevel, your goal is not to need
the coach.
Yeah.
Right.
And then you've you've done yourjob.
Yeah.
So I think that that's awesome.
So you're also obviously a goodgolfer, you're a good soccer
player, you know, you've got allthese things going on, you're
working out all the time.
So um, who is your idealcandidate as far as like who do
(18:44):
you think you personally enjoyworking with the most?
What type of uh is it like anathlete?
Is it does it does it evenmatter?
SPEAKER_01 (18:52):
It does not matter.
It is anyone who has a falsenarrative that is hindering them
from doing what they want to doin any capacity.
Uh well articulated.
Huh?
Yeah.
Well articulated.
Yeah, it's just, you know, andand it's, you know, I get asked
as like, what's your idealclient is like someone who
believes a lie about themselvesthat's keeping them from living
out the truth.
So youngest client's 11, theoldest one was 73.
(19:15):
Um, what's really cool is when Iwork with the younger kids, I
watch the lie getting formed inreal time.
And I get to work on it withthem and nip it in the bud
because usually age 25 and up,we're going back to that age to
work on it.
So with the 73-year-old, we'regoing back to age 12.
With the 12-year-old, I'mwatching what they would need to
(19:36):
work on by the time they're 73.
And yeah, but it's, you know,it's it's athletes, it's
teachers, it's students, it'ssales, it's, you know,
relationships, it's uh, youknow, I I did a one-on-one for a
gentleman who I believe is like46 or 47, and then the second
session you brought in his wife.
And so I was doing essentiallymarriage counseling, you know,
(19:56):
and it's it's anybody.
SPEAKER_02 (19:59):
How much do you think social media plays in a
false narrative?
SPEAKER_01 (20:03):
Big.
SPEAKER_02 (20:04):
And what what are what would be the other factors?
Is it parents?
SPEAKER_01 (20:08):
Yeah, because it's you know, it's it's funny.
When we think of a lie, weusually think of a nefarious
intent.
Like I'm directly lying to youby either omitting the truth or
implanting a false piece ofevidence to deliberately mislead
you.
But the way that I have alwaysexplained it is, for example,
when I was growing up, I was apretty good golfer, and the
(20:30):
level that I was at was from noteven training all year round.
Like I was a plus point fivewhen I quit, and I probably
played four or five months ayear because I played other
sports.
So I was getting told you'regonna play in college and then
you're gonna be able to go pro.
And so I'm I'm young, and sosomeone in authority in the
field I want to be in is tellingme the capacity at which I can
(20:52):
function.
The longer that doesn't happen,the more of a lie that it
becomes.
And so then I start to questionmyself and my abilities.
And so that is an example of alie where they're not saying
anything bad.
They're even encouraging me, youknow, like you're gonna be pro
one day.
We hear that and we get soexcited.
But again, the longer that thatdoesn't happen, that starts to
(21:14):
become a lie.
And then you don't know it's alie until you're years down the
road, and then you getperformance anxiety or you
disqualify yourself or you feelunworthy.
And there's a guy named CaseKenny, and he's a really uh he's
just very intuitive with all ofthis stuff.
He's a really well-known coach.
And one of the things that hetalks about, which I love, is he
talks about us needing to affirmkids for their um for their
(21:37):
qualities, not their results.
So rather than saying, hey, youscored seven touchdowns or
whatever it is, or hey, you shota great score today, even if
that's true, you know, affirmingthem more in I you had a great
attitude today, and the effortthat you put forth was valiant,
or however you would say it, youknow.
And so by doing that, you'rereinforcing behavior and
(22:00):
mentality rather than theresult.
And because you can you canplay, um, you know, you can have
a bad result with a goodmentality.
SPEAKER_00 (22:09):
So so you know, driving over here to the golf
garage today with my son, uhstory came on the news.
So it's listening to radio news,and they were saying like
children who have smartphonesand social media at 12 years old
have a 60% higher risk ofdepression by 16.
SPEAKER_01 (22:33):
I wouldn't doubt it.
I uh yeah, I would even say by13.
Like, you know, I'm not gonnaargue with that one bit.
SPEAKER_00 (22:39):
No, but I I mean e even that statistic, yes, I I'm
with you.
I believe it's worse than that.
But even that statistic shouldshould give parents, you know,
the thought to okay, let's pumpthe brakes on this a little bit.
SPEAKER_01 (22:53):
Well, think about this too.
That you have the rate ofantidepressants that are being
prescribed are going up at thesame rate as depression is
increasing.
SPEAKER_00 (23:02):
Which isn't even resolving a problem, underlying
issue of just masking it.
SPEAKER_01 (23:06):
Those should be inverse correlation.
So, number one, we learned thatan external factor can't fix an
internal problem, while at thesame time, you have an increase
in sales in the self-helpindustry while depression is
also increasing.
So you look at the two thingsthat should be working to sort
of combat depression or anxietyor whatever it is, and they're
not, which means we're missingthe problem.
SPEAKER_00 (23:27):
Well, I think uh the majority of the self-help
industry is a scam anyway.
SPEAKER_01 (23:31):
Yeah, I think I mean they're I think the context of
it is good.
I think that the delivery leavesout a lot of the equipping.
I think there's not a lot ofequipping, there's a lot of
telling, there's a lot ofdistribution of knowledge, but
the difference between wisdomand discernment, wisdom is just
knowledge and discernment isknowing what to do with it.
SPEAKER_00 (23:53):
Like that saying I say it's smart and educated are
two very different things.
SPEAKER_01 (23:57):
Yeah.
And so that's the sameprinciple.
So I think that again, like evenwith what Noah does with his
coaching, is he's anybody who isin some coaching space, we
should look at ourselves not asa coach, but an equipper.
Right.
We're not telling them what todo.
We are we are putting them in aposition to do what they're
supposed to do in their waywithout needing this us after a
certain period of time.
(24:17):
And I think I think there's abig gap in the in the self-help
industry.
Not that I'm a standard per se.
I mean, I would consider myselfone.
Like my my main goal is to be awell-known thought leader.
Like I'll just I don't need atitle, I don't need a word this,
blah, blah, blah.
I just want to be known as a asa world-renowned thought leader.
Like you look at Simon Sinek andTim Ferris and Jay Shetty and
(24:40):
all these guys who are sort ofgetting, you know, 40s.
There's they're paving a newway, they're paving a way for
sort of the younger, you know,mid-20s, late 20s, early 30s to
take over.
And I definitely want to be inthat space.
And I think if we can close thegap between what they taught us
and what we're experiencing, Ithink it's gonna be pretty
(25:01):
powerful for the upcominggeneration.
Agreed.
SPEAKER_02 (25:04):
It's awesome.
Well, Daniel, um, one of thecool things we have for our
guests on the show today is thatyou get to use your expertise on
me today.
Now I gotta practice with myface for uh for a few minutes
here.
We're just gonna, we're justgonna chat a little bit.
Um, and I'm really excited to uhto learn a little bit more about
(25:25):
myself, my identity today, andwhat that what that could look
like.
Yeah.
And and again, this isn't thefirst time we talked.
So yeah.
So it's you know, we're friendsalso, um, you know, obviously
family friends at this point.
And uh I'm just I'm just lookingforward to um always growing, as
you know.
And I think um at the end of theday, I just kind of want to
(25:45):
wanna chat a little so our ourviewers can see what this really
is about and um how much it hashelped me, how much it's helped
um our business, our team.
Um, and like you said, I mean, Ithink, you know, we have started
with you and then and thenstopped for quite some time.
(26:05):
And I think at some level it'stime to to start again because
our um our business has changed.
And that would be the mainreasons why, you know, some of
these fundamentals I feel likeneed to be reinstated and and
just getting everybody to feellike um, you know, this is a big
family again.
And that's what I'm look reallylooking forward to in the near
(26:26):
future with you.
SPEAKER_01 (26:27):
Yeah.
A hundred percent.
And yeah, I I think that again,there's creating this base
foundation to start and kind oflike what Darren was alluding to
earlier about um sort of thethose fundamentals when he's
when he thinks that he'sreverting back to old patterns,
but he's really just using aresult to assess something.
You know, there are times whenyou if the result is consistent
(26:49):
enough and and you've been doinga certain pattern long enough,
then it is time to ask thequestion and look at that
pattern and you know, say, okay,is this regardless of this
result, what is the pattern thatI'm doing?
And if this is continued, um, doI like where it ends up?
You know, and so I think, youknow, as businesses change, as
your swing changes, as lifechanges, it's really good to ask
(27:10):
that question of what are thepatterns that I'm doing?
Where did I learn them from?
Are they helping me or not?
Um, you know, and especiallywith your tournament coming up,
I think that's a good segue intouh your current, and it's not
even your self-belief level.
I I think a lot of peoplemisunderstand what I do in terms
of I just get people to thinkabout themselves better.
(27:31):
Um, but it's really justunderstanding how you arrive at
the conclusions that you makeand the stories that you tell
yourself.
And um, so I guess the you know,to kind of get into it as you're
preparing for this tournament,um what would be an inconvenient
behavior or mindset that youhave where if you could shift
(27:52):
it, you could feel a positivechange in where you want to go.
SPEAKER_02 (27:55):
Yeah, when I'm away from my family, I feel like I
should be with my family.
And when I'm, you know, with myfamily, I feel like I should be
working or something else,right?
So I would say that I am so busywith for all good good things,
right?
But so so busy in a way thatsometimes I'm not present,
right?
(28:16):
And I think that being on thislast vacation, it's made me even
more aware of that.
Um and also I've kind of caughtmyself in the act of that a few
times to where um it's afrustration when I'm in both
places and when I have threeyoung kids, it's the last
feeling I want to have.
SPEAKER_01 (28:32):
Yeah.
So what would the uh idealoutcome for that be?
Or what what would you want thatto look like?
If you were a genie and youcould change not the
circumstance but the way inwhich you went about it, what
would that look like?
SPEAKER_02 (28:47):
Yeah, I would I would just say just being more
um grateful for everything I getto do and being more in in the
present, um, I guess would bethe opposite feel of that.
So um I think I've been tryingto express more gratitude in
everything I do.
Um, you know, I also see my wifeworking a lot more too, um,
(29:10):
because she wants to.
But now it's something thatoriginally when we um were gonna
have kids, it was like, hey, I'mgonna be my role is to be at
home, my wife, and you're gonnawork.
And and that was perfect.
And we did that, and then all ofa sudden the kids got to a
certain age and wanted to um,you know, now she wants to work
(29:30):
and totally support it, andshe's killing it.
SPEAKER_03 (29:32):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (29:33):
But she's also now doubting sometimes a little of
like, oh, maybe I should be homemore.
So, you know, there's just a lotof these external kind of
stressors that are going backand forth.
Um, and then there's a lot ofthose things that are out of my
control too.
Yeah.
That on a daily basis you'reputting out a fire as a business
owner or something didn't showup, or things that do matter for
the business at some level, atleast I think they do.
SPEAKER_03 (29:54):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (29:55):
Right.
So, what would you say are someof the biggest things that are
out of your control that you'recurrently?
Thinking that you actually cancontrol.
SPEAKER_02 (30:02):
Uh, one of the things is personal, which would
be uh getting our homerenovation done.
Yeah.
That is like a huge one.
You come home to a mess andyou're like, what is going on
here?
You can't even relax when you gohome.
Yeah.
Um, so that's something actuallyI'm working with your dad on
that we're gonna be looking athopefully uh by spring um and by
the end of next year for sure,having everything kind of
wrapped up at the house.
(30:23):
Yeah.
Um, so it's frustrating still,even though we have a goal just
because it's not done yet.
Um, but again, it's it'ssomewhat out of my control, um,
unless I just quit my job for,you know, two months.
Yeah.
Um, and I would say the otherone is um, I don't know if it's
completely out of my control,but when I make choices to um go
(30:45):
travel to help the business,which is really also helping my
family, um, it's being away fromthe kids.
Yeah.
Right.
So that is really hard knowingthat I don't have at that much
time with them before they'regonna go to college and have
their own lives as well.
Yeah.
So just trying to figure out howto make the most of it.
SPEAKER_01 (31:02):
Yeah.
So as you look through all ofthese different factors,
obviously for those listening,you can kind of see how the
context tends to sort of blendtogether.
Where now we have this jumbledstory.
Those all of the things thatyou're saying are true, they're
valid, they're happening,they're distracting, they're all
(31:26):
of these different things.
But behind all of this, there isa story about what all of those
things mean about you.
And so when you look at thethings you're doing, you're a
father, you're renovating ahome, you're running a business,
you're preparing for atournament, you're uh a husband,
like you're all of thesedifferent things.
And so with, you know, a lot ofpeople I think would say, oh,
(31:50):
you have to wear all of thesedifferent hats.
But thinking that you're wearinga different hat for each thing
means that there's you have totake on this different persona.
And so the whole point ofidentity and the narrative is to
know the thread that goesthrough all of those things so
that rather than putting on adifferent hat, you can wear the
same hat and just sort ofenhance different things at
(32:12):
different times.
And so if you were to pick anarea that you want to experience
transformation in right now,where again, if you were a genie
and you could just snap yourfingers and change something,
what would it be?
SPEAKER_02 (32:28):
Somebody check my email for me.
That's a pretty easy fix.
Yeah.
Uh I mean, yeah, ultimately, Ithink you hit the nail on the
head with the feeling of there'sa lot, right?
So, like the clutteredness, um,my personality trait is is more
of a planner type A, obviously,knowing what I intend to do.
(32:49):
And I think the hardest partabout all of this is just the
time.
I don't have the time.
So if I was a genie and couldsnap or had a genie and could
snap the finger, it would be howdo I get more time?
And um, yeah, I mean, I I thinkthat's number one because you
don't get that back.
SPEAKER_01 (33:06):
So the story, so there's the first sort of story
is that I don't have the time.
So that's not true or false,that's the belief.
So if you reframe it, and it'snot I don't have the time, but
what time do I have and what amI doing with it?
How would you answer that?
SPEAKER_02 (33:23):
Yeah, I would say that what time, I just it feels
to me that I don't have a lotbecause um I'm saying yes to so
many things because I feel likethey're valid instead of maybe
delegating.
Um, and part of it as well isum, you know, with the business
(33:45):
growing, going into that realmfor a second, we just or I just
hired an operations manager.
So I'm training that person toactually take a lot of the
things that are taking my timeoff my plate, but we're not
there yet.
Yeah.
So there's just so muchtransition that can turn into
transformational growth for me,but it's it's becoming um,
(34:06):
there's times where I'm so tiredthat I don't, you know, I wake
up in the middle of the nightand I'm like, oh, I need to do
this, I need to do that, right?
So then all of a sudden the restpart of it also isn't there.
So um I totally kind of get thequestion, but I'm not certain
what the answer is for me yet.
Yeah, because I think I I'mworking on it already.
(34:27):
Yeah.
And I think that's the the thebiggest piece is like I'm happy
I'm working on it, but I'mfrustrated because I I'm not I'm
not there yet.
Yeah.
And then, you know, well.
SPEAKER_01 (34:38):
Yeah.
And what's and what'sinteresting is that as a
planner, of what to use yourwords, you know, type A planner
need to know what to do.
But then within the story, youdon't know what you're doing.
So there's this contradictingbelief about yourself and then
the way that you're performing.
So then, you know, one of thethings that you said is I'm
saying yes to a lot of things.
(34:58):
So, what is the belief aboutyourself if you start to say no
to some of these things?
What would that mean about you?
SPEAKER_02 (35:04):
Right.
And I think ultimately for me isI feel like when I say yes, I
can do them, and then I startdoing them and realize, oh gosh,
I don't have the time to dothem.
Yeah.
And so I have been saying nomore.
Um, but yeah, I think I don't Ithink the belief might be just
letting someone down.
I don't know for certain if thatwould be the case.
(35:24):
Um, but I've always been so I'vegrew up the little guy, right?
So I think I always had to proveto others how to um make the
varsity team in anything, right?
And I don't think that wasanything that was um anything
other than just being physicallysmall.
(35:45):
Yeah.
Right.
And so, you know, that'sprobably part of it.
And then also just alwayswanting to be the best, right?
So I think my mindset was alwaysthat.
And so to be the best sometimesmeant, you know, doing more,
right?
And so by doing more, I thinkthat's always kind of been my
shift is oh, I can do that, oh,I can do that.
And I can, right?
(36:05):
But something will sufferbecause of it.
Yeah.
And the things that aresuffering is that time with
family andor then time to workon something else.
So I do need to sacrifice moreor delegate more in order to
still have it.
Because my my my thought processhas always been put better
people around you, you know, atcertain items so you all boil up
(36:28):
together.
But do I truly do that?
I don't think I do as much as Icould because you get into it
and then by the end of somethingthat someone else did, half the
time you have to fix it or do itthe way that you want to do it
or redo it anyway.
And whose fault is that?
Well, ultimately it comes downon the person training them at
some level, unless the personjust can't do it.
(36:49):
Yeah.
And so I think there's a lot ofa lot of different things there
that come up.
Um, and then it just snowballs,right?
So then after that day, you gohome and then you know you see a
mess that wasn't even a mess.
The kids were just playing andyou get frustrated, and and so
then it just spirals, right?
And so I think ultimately that'swhat I'm getting at when I'm
(37:12):
like, man, I just need to figureout how to be a little bit more
grateful, yeah, as opposed tofor what I have and the time I
have with them right now.
And um, I do kind of get thatthought process too of you know,
there's it seems like there'sgot to be a little bit more
thought before saying yes, yeah,and understanding that it's not
(37:34):
that big of a deal if I don't dosomething.
Because for lack of betterwords, I don't ever I don't
necessarily feel like I'mmissing out, right?
That whatever that FOMO thingis, that I didn't even know what
that was for the longest time.
Um but I don't like to pass upon opportunities, right?
So that's the way I've alwayskind of said it.
(37:55):
So like somebody today um askedme if I'd be interested in a
really big project.
And I said, well, I said, I'mnot really in a place to do it,
but I'll always listen.
Right.
And I think the problem is thenyou take time to listen, right?
And instead of just saying, Ican't do that right now.
Yeah.
And what I've noticed too, nowthat you've kind of brought that
up to my attention, is that someof the people I respect the most
(38:18):
when I've talked to them aboutthings like that, they
immediately just say, No, Ican't do that.
Yep.
SPEAKER_01 (38:23):
So So here's what's cool for those of you listening.
Um, I'll address Noah directlyin a minute, but I kind of just
want to explain what I've beenlistening to as you've been
talking.
So I've heard a couple differentstories.
The type of language that you'reusing is like associative
language.
So when you say always or never,and there are definitely times
(38:44):
where it wasn't always and itwasn't never.
And so one of the first thingsI'll listen for is when we
generalize information to tellthe story about ourselves.
And so always being the littleguy.
Now, here's what's reallyimportant it's the same thing
when I describe the differencebetween being a victim and
victimhood, right?
So, victim is something happenedto you or you're living in the
(39:05):
consequences of something thatyou did.
No one would take that away.
Um, victimhood is coming intoagreement that, excuse me, that
because that happened, that isnow the narrative and the
identity of who you are.
So, for example, are you a smallare you smaller in stature?
Yes.
Does that now mean I will alwaysbe at a disadvantage and I'll
always have to work harder andblah, blah, blah, blah, blah?
(39:26):
False.
So the story about the staturechanges the way that you
function and operate.
And so um that's why I askedalso, what is the belief about
yourself if you say no?
First thought that you gave wasthat it was letting someone
down.
So then my question would havebeen if we're doing a full
session, obviously we don't havetime.
Where was the first time thatyou remember saying no and
having someone say that you letthem down by doing that?
(39:49):
Um, so we can answer that in alittle bit.
But for those of you that arelistening, I want you to hear
and maybe re-listen afterhearing me say this, re-listen
to his story.
Where are you in your lifedescribing yourself in a way
that's using associativelanguage where the narrative is,
I'm always like this or I'vealways been like this, and
therefore that's why thishappens.
(40:10):
And you notice, Noah said, youhave the belief, which then
creates the pattern, which thencreates not the result, but the
experience of the of thecircumstance that you have.
And the my whole goal withclients, I don't care if your
circumstances change.
Obviously, that's a bonus, butthe whole point of doing
identity work is so that yourcircumstances don't have to.
That's that's you know, reallyimportant to understand is that
(40:33):
we're not doing this so that youmake more money, get better at
your sport, fall in love, all ofthe stuff.
That stuff could happen, butit's so that you don't need
those things to happen in orderfor you to be solid.
And so, questions I would tellNoah to ask himself again is you
know, when you say no, you'resaying no to an opportunity.
What makes it?
What makes something anopportunity?
Is it just money?
(40:53):
Is it getting your name onsomething?
You have to, and you learnedwhat an opportunity was
somewhere.
So for everybody listeningagain, you're only born with two
fears, the fear of loud noisesand the fear of falling,
everything else you learn.
So you learn guilt, you learnshame, you learn embarrassment,
you learn that you're not goodenough.
And if it's something that youlearn, it's something that you
can unlearn or you can combat itwith a proper belief system.
(41:14):
So there is a belief system thatNoah is carrying right now
around opportunity,productivity, work ethic, et
cetera.
And so the belief is that if Isay no, it means that I'm giving
them a chance to believe thatI'm incapable and I'm very
capable, and I've had to showthat I was capable my whole
life.
So saying no means this, but itonly means that because that's
(41:36):
the belief that you've putbehind it.
And it's why most peoplefunction within their
suggestions rather than settingboundaries.
And so people will feel like aboundary is being crossed in
their life when in reality theydidn't make it a boundary, you
know.
And so saying no is a boundary.
You know, saying yes is aboundary.
You've created a boundary aroundyou saying yes.
(41:57):
Now they have full permission toenter into the space of your yes
to present the documents, to setup the phone calls, to do all
this stuff.
And then you're you'rerealizing, oh, I actually don't
have time for any of this stuff.
And I want to do more, but thenyou have to define what more is.
Is it because more could be oneminute more?
More could be, you know, moremoney is one more dollar, more
(42:18):
time is one more minute.
So we have to get crystal clearon the definitions that we're
using to describe ourselves, ourworkplace, our goals, our
desires, whatever the case maybe, to learn the place that
we're coming from.
That way, when someone asks youa question or makes a statement,
you know, before you answer,you're like, what am I believing
about myself?
And if I'm only saying yes,because I believe that saying no
(42:41):
will let them down and that Iquote unquote miss out on an
opportunity, I have to do someassessment before I give before
I give an answer, or just giveme some time to think about it
as even a placeholder so you canfigure out what the actual
belief is.
SPEAKER_02 (42:52):
Yeah, no, absolutely.
I mean, that's all super, superpowerful.
And I think just as you startedasking some of the questions, it
got me to internalize it umpretty quickly as I just started
talking through it.
Right.
So there was definitely a coupleaha moments, even with just a
few of the questions that youasked um that were like, oh
(43:14):
yeah, that's kind of dumb.
I get to make my own decision onhow much time I have ultimately.
But at the same time, you know,when you're an entrepreneur and
you own a business, you have toset certain parameters and
deadlines for yourself.
Um, you know, and you know, whenthere's debt involved and all
the other things, you have to dowhat you have to do at times.
(43:36):
And so I think ultimately umthat fight or flight type of a
feeling of like is on a lot morefor me just with trying to get
this thing ramped up to a placewhere it can kind of take off.
Yeah, you know, and so yeah, no,it's it's definitely this is
super powerful.
And I think ultimately for me,it's just gonna I need to take
some time now to think about itand digest it a little bit too.
SPEAKER_01 (43:58):
So and the key is you're not ignoring the truth
and you're not ignoring thefacts, like timelines do exist,
quotas do exist.
You do have to get things done.
People are victims of things,like for example, my father,
he's an immigrant, you know.
So the truth about him was thathe moved to America speaking
zero English with zero job.
True.
(44:19):
Does that now mean, and if hisstory is because of this, that
means now I will forever have adisadvantage and nobody's gonna
work with me because I wasn'tborn.
That's false.
So we cut, we cut the truth, orwe we go to the truth and we use
the truth to cut through thestory about the thing that
happened.
And so a lot of us are living inthe story when the circumstance
(44:43):
is far removed from us.
And again, no one will take awayfrom the trauma, no one's
ignoring any of that.
And I think that's why it'sreally important as well to
really evaluate how you doaffirmations, you know, because
a lot of affirmations are justlying to yourself about the
things you wish you believed.
And I don't have time to getinto that right now.
But again, it's, you know,you're saying, I am healthy, I'm
(45:04):
wealthy, I'm pretty, I'm allthese things, whatever it is,
and that's all fine and good.
But the reason you're lookinginto the mirror saying, I am
pretty is because you learnedsomewhere that you weren't.
And so rather than just sayingthe thing you hope you believe
one day, you know, the fake ittill you make it thing, I think
is BS, you go to the point whereyou learn that you weren't
pretty, which is most likelybefore age 14 or 13, and then
(45:26):
you fit and you go back as yourage now, you tell yourself the
truth then is that otherpeople's definition and
description of you does notdetermine your exterior.
And then you work on that, andthen you don't need the
affirmation.
And that's true freedom.
It isn't believing a lie aboutyourself that you wish you
believe.
And I think a lot of people missthat.
Um, so I just want to make thatclear.
I don't want people to go and,you know, willy-nilly just
(45:49):
ignoring the truth about factsthat actually happened.
No one, no one would ever denythat.
SPEAKER_02 (45:52):
I think every girl needs to burn all their Barbie
dolls when you see a girlholding a Barbie doll up right
next to it, right next to her inthe mirror and say, I don't look
like you.
No, that's dude, that's awesomestuff.
SPEAKER_00 (46:04):
Trying to break my 12-year-old girl of her
obsession with wanting makeupand beauty products.
I'm like, oh yeah.
You're 12.
Your skin, yeah, it's perfect.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (46:13):
Yeah.
Well, and and also where didwhere did they, you know, when
they start to say these things,like, where did you learn that?
Where did it come from?
You learn social media whenyou're 12, 13, whatever, you
whenever they're learning adultthings, it's because of how the
generation is being structuredbecause of social media.
We learn these kids are learningthings a lot earlier on than
they should be learning them.
(46:34):
And so then you have toobviously, because of social
media and technology andeverything, we just have to be
really, really careful.
And so, asking, you know, ifyou're listening to this and you
have kids and they bring upsomething, and you know, where
did you learn that?
And what do you believe aboutyourself when you think of that?
Like, where did you learn thatyou need makeup to be pretty?
You know, where are you learningthese things?
(46:54):
And and what do you think thedefinition of beauty is?
And so starting this young,where you're asking really adult
questions, but it's in achildlike way.
It's like, what do you thinkbeing beautiful is?
And where did you learn that?
And what does that mean aboutyou?
And where, you know, how andthen you're learning how to
affirm your children.
And again, not in their results,but in their belief system.
(47:15):
Right.
Like I'm so proud of you forseeing the need to make someone
feel better.
Or, you know, there we could goon and on with examples, but you
know, all we do is we make ourdecisions based off of the
definitions that we have forthings in the story that we
believe in any given moment.
SPEAKER_00 (47:30):
The entire country needs to listen to this podcast,
whether they're into golf ornot.
SPEAKER_01 (47:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (47:36):
Well, yeah, I think that's the whole point of this,
is it doesn't pertain to asport, it pertains to just the
fundamentals.
SPEAKER_01 (47:43):
And it's so funny how it expresses itself.
Like people will come to me withthe symptom, whether it's soccer
or golf or their business orwhatever.
And it's just all they're doingis showing me where the where
the belief system is beingexpressed.
And I'm like, great, I don'tneed the contact.
We have contact.
SPEAKER_02 (48:01):
We we've had these conversations.
I've had you up to the OPGAteaching and coaching um summit
with me, and we and we spoke onemotional intelligence
essentially, which I don't thinkanyone in the room knew that
because I didn't know what itwas until I met you either.
And um Christopher Smith, who'suh a leading golf coach around
the world, was also speaking andhe's very big into mindset.
(48:25):
And um, I just thought it was sointeresting how we we teach a
game, we coach a game, and atsome level, yeah, you have to
develop these skills to performat the game, right?
Then you have to know the rulesof the game, and then you start
thinking about how to win, andthen you have to have the
strategy behind it to win.
And then when you lose, there'sall these different things of
(48:47):
like, oh, well, my goal was towin and I didn't, so now I suck
or I'm not good.
And so there's all these beliefsthat come into play there
without getting deep into that.
It's just like at what level,you know, because of parents and
how engaged they get with juniorgolfers or sports, um, and then
just fans in general and thosepressures, it's like you need to
(49:09):
have someone like Daniel workingwith you so you understand what
to really believe, and you haveto find that out for yourself.
And I think what I love aboutthis system is that you're not
giving me the answer ever.
I have to find out the answer.
And I think you alluded to thatearlier about when we talked
about mental um illness in theindustry, right, in general, and
(49:32):
how they're being told what theyneed to do.
Well, they're not that person,they can't internalize what
they're feeling.
Yeah, but something they'rehere.
Right.
But what you're doing is you'reallowing some of the basic
fundamentals to come out intoplay.
And again, I think for me, ittook about three um, again,
(49:53):
these were group sessions, butby the third session that we did
um with our team, I started toreally understand a little bit
more about it, right?
And so I could see how in sixsessions you could really grasp
it and maybe not master it, butknow what to do moving forward
for yourself.
So it's really cool.
SPEAKER_01 (50:11):
And it's and it's even, you know, I I'm very
transparent.
I'm like, I'm not sitting onthis mountain of wisdom that
nobody has access to.
I'm not a guru that figured itout.
Most of my sessions are askingthe same question 15 times and
their answer changes 15 times,which is why I ask it 15 times
because I now within three tofive, sometimes 10 minutes, I
(50:37):
know the false narrative likepretty, pretty instantly.
But what good is it if I sitthere and I tell them?
Because now what I'm doing, likepeople in the coaching space
that tell their clients whatthey believe are just adding to
the false narrative.
SPEAKER_00 (50:53):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (50:53):
Because I'm like, well, my therapist told me and
my coach told me, and well,whoever told me, and that now
means this.
It's like you're going in therewith the same framework.
Now I've just added a layer offalse identity onto you.
SPEAKER_00 (51:07):
And you're enabling that false identity versus
exactly offering tools tocorrect it.
SPEAKER_01 (51:12):
Yeah.
And the and the question, youknow, if people what's the
question that he had?
Like, I'm my goal is to to givea TED talk within the next year.
And, you know, the title wouldbe your one question away from
total identity transformation.
People are like, well, what'sthe question?
And I the answer is just thenext one, you know.
And so it's, but the questionthat I ask a lot is what would
(51:32):
that mean about you?
So people tell me their goals,this is this amount of money,
this score.
Oh, and what would that meanabout you?
And what would that mean?
And what would that mean?
And where'd you learn that?
And what did that mean?
And what would that mean?
And what and it keeps changinguntil you get back to the root.
And usually it's it would meanthat I was worthy.
Okay.
So there's the lie is that thismakes me worthy.
And then that's what that's thestart.
SPEAKER_00 (51:53):
And anything below that, you're not worthy.
SPEAKER_01 (51:57):
Yeah.
And then you you learned thatsomewhere.
And so the thing that you'redoing, you're either looking for
significance, love, connection,or certainty.
SPEAKER_00 (52:04):
So, how much of this worthiness mindset is not
learned?
I mean, initially it was learnedsomewhere.
All right, all right, I gottaachieve this benchmark to be
worthy.
SPEAKER_03 (52:16):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (52:16):
But then once you achieve that benchmark and
you're 22 years old, yeah, howare you gonna feel by the time
you're 25 if you don't set a newbenchmark for worthiness?
SPEAKER_01 (52:27):
And yeah, and it's again, it's just a way of
snowball.
Yeah, and it's also it's just aperspective of worthiness
because the other thing is youdon't it was actually really
interesting.
I saw a video yesterday, andduring, you know, not to get
into this, this was just for thesake of the video, during the
the Russia-Ukraine situation inthe Olympics, one of the uh
(52:51):
Russian gymnasts they weren'tusing the Russian flag, so they
he couldn't sing his anthem, hecouldn't represent his country,
he couldn't be on the podium, hegot no interviews and he won
gold.
And he was just alone.
And so it's like, have wedecided that worthiness is doing
the thing we want and beingrecognized for it, or just doing
(53:13):
the thing we want?
Because if there's no one thereto see the thing that you
decided you were worthy of, youknow, where did you where did
you learn that again?
And so then that we have to askthe question, and what does that
mean about you?
Daniel, how can people get ahold of you?
Um, Instagram is Daniel Schuler,so D-A-N-I-E-L-S-C-H-U-L-E-R-R.
(53:36):
And then I have a website comingup very soon.
Uh so we can put that in thelink of this podcast as well.
People be able to book me freeonboarding call to see if we're
a good fit.
Uh, call it like a breakthroughcall.
And yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (53:49):
And what's that website gonna be?
SPEAKER_01 (53:51):
Um, we are still harvest, we're like harnessing
the GoDaddy domain right now.
So you will be there soonenough.
Yeah, yeah.
We've been there before.
I think it's I think it's gonnabe Danielshuler.vip.
All right.
I think that's the I thinkthat's what we're leaning
towards right now.
SPEAKER_00 (54:05):
So okay.
SPEAKER_01 (54:07):
Hey Daniel, thanks, man.
That was Steve.
Thank you.
It was awesome.
SPEAKER_00 (54:11):
You know me.
Until next week.
We got to do this again, Daniel.
Yeah, we will in person whileyou're in TensorFlow.
SPEAKER_01 (54:17):
Yeah, we will.
All right.
Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_00 (54:19):
Take care.
See you next week.
Welcome to the My Golf Source Podcast.
It's been a minute, man.
Yeah, it has, buddy.
Thanksgiving, vacation, Mexico.
SPEAKER_02 (00:24):
Sí, senor.
Sickness.
Oh.
Yeah, exactly.
No, Mexico was a good time forsure.
Yeah, first family vacation in15 years since Kimberly and I's
honeymoon in St.
Lucia.
SPEAKER_00 (00:38):
St.
Lucia's awesome.
I've been there.
SPEAKER_02 (00:40):
Yeah, we uh spent most of our time on the Sandals
Resort, but uh it was an amazingcountry to visit.
Did a little uh zip lining,played a little golf.
Nice.
So yeah, the grass over there isa lot thicker than the grass
here.
SPEAKER_00 (00:52):
If you haven't had the opportunity, go to Barbados.
Oh, the oceans look good.
It's so much nicer.
It's so much nicer than St.
I mean, St.
Lucia was great, don't get mewrong, but nothing compared to
Barbados.
SPEAKER_02 (01:05):
Uh I'm like that with the Dominican.
I like the DR a ton.
You get down there in the PuntaCana, Costa Campo, really good
golf courses, really good food,service is perfect.
So you didn't even haveThanksgiving.
You came home Thanksgiving day.
Yeah, we were on we were onairplane Thanksgiving, um, but
we were there for 10 days.
So there's actually quite a fewgolf courses in the area.
(01:28):
Um how many did you play?
Sero.
Yeah, Riviera Maya.
SPEAKER_00 (01:34):
And how is that helping you prepare for a
tournament coming up?
SPEAKER_02 (01:37):
I think the idea is uh when you get to a certain
level, the goal with this wholething that we'll talk about is
that you can prepare prettyquickly.
A lot of it's mindset, um,performance.
I think the hardest thing aboutbeing on vacation with my
mentality is sitting.
Like I have a really hard timesitting still.
Everything I do is like wantingto move around.
SPEAKER_00 (01:59):
A wise word of advice I heard once was to
prepare for a job interview.
Don't think about the jobinterview.
SPEAKER_02 (02:06):
Yeah.
No, I don't know.
Don't do anything to prepare.
Just I think there's there'ssome get your mind off of it.
Some truth to that.
Yeah, for sure.
But ultimately, though, I thinkby practicing a certain way and
by doing it the right way, itwill um make sure that you don't
have any doubts in your mind aswell.
So I think there's definitelysome performance attributes.
I mean, you need to be able tosee your ball doing what you
(02:28):
want it to do to prepare, butum, should we tell the you know
what what we're up against herefor the podcast?
So yeah, so I am trying toqualify um through Tailormade
Golf.
I was invited for the TailormadeTP Classic.
It's a um it's an event thatthey have all over the country,
and there's five of them, Ibelieve.
(02:50):
And this one's in Palm Springsto qualify for Pebble Beach.
Okay.
So um there's a few hundred prosdown there.
Um, we're gonna see new productlaunch launched while we're down
there as well.
Trying to do some newtechnology, new drivers.
Played at Ironwood Country Club.
Um, so a really nice facility inPalm Springs.
And uh yeah, I just haven'tplayed a lot of golf with golf
(03:13):
garage going on.
I played sim leagues, sobasically touched my clubs once
a week prior to leaving.
It's been almost 20 days.
Um, but I started trainingyesterday.
So how'd it feel?
Uh first time grabbing clubs.
SPEAKER_00 (03:28):
It's not quite like riding a bike, is it?
SPEAKER_02 (03:29):
No, it is.
It is so funny how you stillhave to hold the club and grip
it and how the grip feels alittle foreign, and and you just
kind of get used to that and youjust try to get comfortable, you
know.
And I think ultimately mentally,it's always there.
Like I know what it feels liketo hit a 50-yard shot.
I know what my eight iron shoulddo.
I know what my swing should feellike, but then sometimes maybe
the ball doesn't do exactly whatyou want because you're, you
(03:50):
know, you haven't been usingthat motion.
SPEAKER_00 (03:52):
I w I want to pick up on that real quick, but
first, this tournament in PalmSprings you're playing in, what
what's the goal?
SPEAKER_02 (03:58):
Yeah, I mean, my goal is to win.
So I'm not I'm not going downwithout any other thought other
than that.
And so I think a lot of it rightnow, I'm in the stage of knowing
what the goal is.
And then I wake up and say, oh,I gotta go to work still.
Okay, where am I gonna practiceout?
So really preparing.
Um, and ultimately, in short, Ithink it comes down to um
(04:19):
mindset more for me right now,and then also making sure my
body's gonna hold up through acourse of a round from not
playing because when I get intothe competition, I definitely
notice that physically I willswing harder at the golf ball
and then I will strain somethingor feel fatigued after one
round.
So the beauty of this event isit is 18 holes, it is not a 72,
(04:42):
you know, whole snail race.
Yeah, I just have to go makebirdies and try to eliminate
bogeys.
And so, you know, 63 is on mymind.
That's like literally it.
I think if I if I go down thereand shoot anything between 63
and 66, I'm gonna be pumped,right?
Because the last time I playedcompetitive golf um and shot
(05:02):
that number has probably been ayear um to, you know, shoot in
that mid-60s range.
What's at stake?
Um, so nothing, right?
I have nothing to lose andeverything to gain.
So I think that's ultimately it.
And, you know, the road toPebble Beach is exciting, but
that's not why I'm doing it.
I'm doing it because it's just agoal and it's um it's a fun
(05:23):
event for me, too.
So I'm looking at just trying toget down there and trying to get
comfortable as fast as possible.
SPEAKER_00 (05:29):
Love it.
And if you play well in this,where do you go?
What yeah, so you disqualifiesyou for what?
SPEAKER_02 (05:35):
Yeah, so you have to win.
So if you win, you immediatelyget invited to the Pebble Beach
um event, the Taylor Made TPClassic.
SPEAKER_00 (05:42):
Um now we're talking some tour exemption stuff,
right?
Have you you know I don't know?
SPEAKER_02 (05:46):
So so this one, no.
Um, but because of yeah, so thisisn't a PGA tour event.
Um, this is the Tailormade.
So this is something that's anational event for Tailormade.
Um, and there's some good prizemoney in it for sure.
Um, and if you win these events,there's prize money.
I think you get a surfboard andlike some things like that.
But um, at the end of the day,um, I think it just comes down
(06:08):
to my my bigger goal isn'tnecessarily Pebble Beach.
Um my bigger goal is to qualifyfor the national um professional
championships in the next coupleof years and to get my game back
to where it used to be.
And and primarily in order to dothat, I have to play pain-free.
And I've had some chronic injuryand some things like that in my
shoulder that we're working onright now, just to see what that
(06:29):
does in tournament play.
Um, and actually giving myself achance.
Cause when I play in pro amps, Imean it's like, all right, I'll
show up an hour early.
I haven't hit balls in a week,it's not a big deal.
If I shoot under par grade, if Ishoot, you know, it's not going
to be above 75 very often, youknow, that's fine.
But um, in an event where I'mactually preparing, I'm I'm a
(06:50):
little bit more excited for it.
I wake up um excited.
I would say that this morning,because it was the first day
after going, I woke up a littletired.
Um, I am also trying to get moresleep.
So, you know, I think there'sjust this big process um in play
here that I played enoughcompetitive golf that I know
what I need to do two weeks outand a week out, but I also need
(07:11):
a lot of help from my friends.
And so the biggest keys arenumber one, already checking the
box of saying that I went to thedoctor, the PT says your body's
fine.
Um, go do these things.
Here's a few motion things thatI would do differently, right?
Just to help eliminate some ofthat pain, right?
So now we're training properly.
(07:33):
Then I go to our fitnessprofessional, just our lead
trainer, Matt Preston.
And from there it turns into,okay, based on what the doctor
said, we're gonna get into thisstuff.
We're not gonna make you feelreally sore from the workout,
but we're gonna try to stimulateyour body to say, okay, cool,
you're in fighting shape, you'rein the middle of the tour
(07:53):
season, it's time to go playcompetitive golf and you know,
functionally move the way I needto move for 18 holes.
Right.
Right.
And then it's up to me to createmy feels.
So what does that look like?
It turns into, okay, I need tochip and putt my brains out.
I need to feel really, reallygood around the greens just with
contact.
(08:14):
So is my speed good?
Right?
Is my distance control good onmy chips?
And then it turns into um, youknow, the pitching side of it
and then some full swing.
Ultimately, full swing for me isthe least of it.
I just want to make sure thatI'm hitting it on the center of
the face.
SPEAKER_00 (08:29):
So when you're playing when you're hitting your
ball well and it feels right,but you've made a little bit of
a change or adapted a little bitto get to that feeling, how many
strokes does it take or how muchtime does it take to kind of
cement that muscle memory?
SPEAKER_02 (08:45):
Yeah.
So I figured that I could takesix months off and I could be
ready for a tournament in sixdays.
Wow.
So I've already sorted that outprobably about five years ago.
Um, because I was going, I'vegone through so many swing
changes due to injury.
Um I had a ganglion system, mywrist, we got rear-ended by a
car that hit us at 40 at astandstill.
Um, so whiplash, um, just somany different things where
(09:07):
muscles are overworking becauseof that.
Um, and so I think having tochange my swing fully two times
plus growing up learning how toswing, and then finding my
swing, those are all different,right?
And so finally, when I found myswing, it made me realize what
my body's able to do and for howlong it can do it before it
(09:29):
needs rest.
SPEAKER_00 (09:30):
Now, I just had a major, major change in my swing
that Coach Ryan has been workingwith me on.
And I've I gotta be honest, Iwas super, super excited because
all of a sudden I'm striking theball well, I'm hitting the ball
15 yards further, I'm hittingthe ball straight, but then it
gets discouraging because youtend to revert slowly but
(09:54):
surely, you revert back to yourold habits.
How long for somebody like me,how long for an amateur golfer
does it take to really cementthis new movement that you're
trying to create?
I mean, I've I I I I go inthere, I work with some some
some training aids, I geteverything dialed in, I feel
(10:14):
good, I go over to the bay nextdoor and I start swinging clubs
without the training aids, and Ihit five, six, seven great
shots, and then it starts torevert back.
And I don't know how, I don'tknow why, and I have to go back
to the training aids to dial itin.
SPEAKER_02 (10:28):
Yeah, and what it sounds like is you're paying
attention to the result, right?
So are you actually going backto your old habit or are you in
the middle of making thesemotion changes that do take a
long time because you'recreating new neuropathways in
your brain to say it's okay toswing this way, right?
You're learning how to trust anew feel that you haven't
(10:51):
created because you haven't doneit enough times.
Maybe you haven't seen the shotshape enough times to have the
confidence to step foot on a Tor on an uneven lie to pull that
off, right?
Because in golf, it's not theevery shot is so different.
Right.
Right.
And you're not just hitting astock eight iron 150 yards on a
(11:12):
level line every time, right?
So in the in the simulatorsetting, it's great because you
are able to do that.
And it's giving you theopportunity to rinse, wash, and
repeat.
And so if you can't do it 10 outof 10 times in here, then you're
probably not going to do it morethan one to two times out of 20
out on the golf course.
(11:33):
Right.
And so that thought of 10,000balls, I don't buy that.
I think ultimately you do needto see something different
happen in order to your in orderto create change, right?
Because you have to say, oh,that's what's supposed to happen
when X happens, right?
Right.
And if you can kind ofunderstand that, so if you go
back in for another lesson,you're trying to maybe even dial
(11:55):
in what your goals are even to asmaller level than what you
think.
Because when I saw you andyou're using the training aid, I
didn't think you were using thetraining aid the right way.
And so I gave you a littlemodification in the And you were
100% right.
SPEAKER_00 (12:11):
And then I started practicing that way, and I got
my shots dialed in the way Iwanted them.
I took them next door to the baywithout the training aids, and
I'm hitting good shots like Iwas with the training aids.
But then after about six orseven of those good shots, my
ball striking, my shot shapebegins to revert back to where
(12:36):
to being problematic.
Yeah, and I think I go back intothe training aids, fix it, go
back to the bay next door, andafter seven, eight, nine shots,
it starts to revert back to theold habit.
SPEAKER_02 (12:47):
So what you need to do is let's say you hit 10 golf
balls, right?
And of those 10 golf balls, youneed to create what your
expectation is.
You just created a new change.
Of those ten balls, how many ofthe ten should be the way you
want to hit them?
But what do you think that wouldbe?
In the sim?
Yeah.
10.
So as of right now, with a weekof practice, you think you
should already be 10 out of 10?
SPEAKER_00 (13:08):
Oh, of course not.
SPEAKER_02 (13:09):
Okay, so where should you be right now?
SPEAKER_00 (13:13):
After just after warming up with the training
aids, I'd like to hit five outof ten, six out of ten.
SPEAKER_02 (13:18):
Okay, that's a super high standard.
Right.
So the way I look at it, when Ilearn something new, especially
in a golf swing, which is a hugemotion change that has like
infinite moving parts, it mightbe one out of ten the first
week.
And then it's two out of ten,and then three out of ten, and
then all of a sudden, yeah,maybe you might jump to five or
six out of ten.
(13:39):
But think about it as walking,think about it as throwing a
football, think about it as allthose things.
How many times did you try?
Right.
And you also have some coachinggoing on to help you, but you
don't have somebody helping youwhile you're practicing, and
that's probably the biggest lostart is how am I supposed to
practice?
So maybe that's the the questionyou need to be asking um in your
(14:00):
next session is what am I doing?
How many reps?
What am I looking for?
If I get frustrated, when shouldI stop?
How do I practice?
SPEAKER_00 (14:08):
It's pretty easy.
Yep.
Well, enough about me, enoughabout our vacations and making
everybody jealous.
Yeah, for sure.
You know, I'm excited.
So let you introduce our gueststoday.
SPEAKER_02 (14:19):
Yeah, our guest is none other than the Daniel
Schuler, our mental performancecoach at the Golf Academy, and
he's got some new things comingup.
We've had him on the show oncebefore.
Welcome, Daniel.
Yeah, welcome.
SPEAKER_01 (14:34):
How are you guys doing?
It's good to be back.
Yeah, welcome.
SPEAKER_02 (14:36):
Good to have you, man.
Can you tell us a little bitabout your new new endeavor?
Because obviously, last time inyour journey, you were in Texas,
you're still in Texas, but youryour focus might be changing a
little bit.
Can you share some of that withus?
SPEAKER_01 (14:52):
Yeah.
So it's not uh it's notessentially that the focus is
changing, but the way in whichI'm sort of promoting myself is
changing.
So I've been doing referral andword of mouth essentially since
I started, and which has beengreat.
But I've just come to thispoint.
I've I've coached just over athousand people in the past six
(15:13):
and a half, seven years, whichhas been amazing.
Um, and now I'm at the pointwhere I have a team that's
building out a website, and sothere's gonna be an online
community, there's gonna be freeresources for people.
Um, you know, I'm getting moreinto the keynote speaking
corporate workshop situation.
I'm still gonna do one-on-ones,but uh, I just realized that in
(15:35):
order for me, it's like I caneither help less amount of
people a ton, or I can help aton of people a little bit, you
know, and so that's kind of thethe idea of now I'm still doing
word of mouth and referral, butnow it's just gonna be on a
digital, more of a digital scalethan I was before.
So revamping the website, youknow, people will be able to
book me through there, um, doinga lot more marketing promotions,
(15:57):
starting my own podcast uh toget some um traction there as
well.
So it's pretty, pretty exciting.
SPEAKER_02 (16:03):
Dude, that's exciting.
Congrats on taking the leap.
So um this will be yourfull-time job moving forward, or
are you still doing some otherstuff?
SPEAKER_01 (16:10):
Yeah, so this is this is takes up about 85% of my
time right now.
Um, and so the other stuff I'veactually transitioned into now
more of a leadership developmentrole because that that's that
was always the plan.
Um, but I was I also held a lotof value in what they needed
over there.
Um, and then now I'm working alot more closely with the reps
(16:32):
and one-on-ones and doingcorporate workshops for them and
that sort of thing.
SPEAKER_02 (16:36):
So you you have a clientele base, you're looking
at going global at this point.
How hard is it do you think tobreak into this market?
SPEAKER_01 (16:46):
Uh for who?
SPEAKER_02 (16:47):
Just for you to get get this thing going to where
you see it being.
SPEAKER_01 (16:52):
So I don't know if it's a because I'm already
global in the sense of you know,some of my clients are in Asia
and Europe and you know, kind ofaround the states, but I think
it's just more of the thepresence because I'm I'm already
sustaining based off of whereI'm at now.
So now it's just making it moreavailable to other people.
(17:14):
Um, so I don't I don'tnecessarily think it's quote
unquote hard to break into.
I think it's just more of amatter of to what extent is it
gonna explode to and how fastwill it take?
Because it could, you know, withsocial media, you never know.
You can post really good videos,post 10 videos, and they get 10
views, and then the 11th videoyou get a million views, and now
(17:35):
you've got 500 clients, youknow.
So it just it really depends.
I think it's just gonna be amatter of consistency, just
getting more value out there,and then I'm also creating a
course so people will be able topay to have access to um modules
on essentially kickstarting youridentity and uh how to walk
through on your own.
Because that's my whole thewhole goal is to create autonomy
(17:57):
for people.
I don't want them to need me,and I know that's not
necessarily a good businessmodel, but the whole the whole
point is for someone to leave menot needing me anymore.
Yep.
That's the whole thing.
That's why even withone-on-ones, it's one session
every two weeks for six weeks.
After six weeks, you're done.
And if you want to keep workingwith me, you can, but you
usually don't need to becauseyou've been equipped with the
(18:19):
tools that you need.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (18:21):
I feel that way about golf.
I mean, ultimately, at somelevel, your goal is not to need
the coach.
Yeah.
Right.
And then you've you've done yourjob.
Yeah.
So I think that that's awesome.
So you're also obviously a goodgolfer, you're a good soccer
player, you know, you've got allthese things going on, you're
working out all the time.
So um, who is your idealcandidate as far as like who do
(18:44):
you think you personally enjoyworking with the most?
What type of uh is it like anathlete?
Is it does it does it evenmatter?
SPEAKER_01 (18:52):
It does not matter.
It is anyone who has a falsenarrative that is hindering them
from doing what they want to doin any capacity.
Uh well articulated.
Huh?
Yeah.
Well articulated.
Yeah, it's just, you know, andand it's, you know, I get asked
as like, what's your idealclient is like someone who
believes a lie about themselvesthat's keeping them from living
out the truth.
So youngest client's 11, theoldest one was 73.
(19:15):
Um, what's really cool is when Iwork with the younger kids, I
watch the lie getting formed inreal time.
And I get to work on it withthem and nip it in the bud
because usually age 25 and up,we're going back to that age to
work on it.
So with the 73-year-old, we'regoing back to age 12.
With the 12-year-old, I'mwatching what they would need to
(19:36):
work on by the time they're 73.
And yeah, but it's, you know,it's it's athletes, it's
teachers, it's students, it'ssales, it's, you know,
relationships, it's uh, youknow, I I did a one-on-one for a
gentleman who I believe is like46 or 47, and then the second
session you brought in his wife.
And so I was doing essentiallymarriage counseling, you know,
(19:56):
and it's it's anybody.
SPEAKER_02 (19:59):
How much do you think social media plays in a
false narrative?
SPEAKER_01 (20:03):
Big.
SPEAKER_02 (20:04):
And what what are what would be the other factors?
Is it parents?
SPEAKER_01 (20:08):
Yeah, because it's you know, it's it's funny.
When we think of a lie, weusually think of a nefarious
intent.
Like I'm directly lying to youby either omitting the truth or
implanting a false piece ofevidence to deliberately mislead
you.
But the way that I have alwaysexplained it is, for example,
when I was growing up, I was apretty good golfer, and the
(20:30):
level that I was at was from noteven training all year round.
Like I was a plus point fivewhen I quit, and I probably
played four or five months ayear because I played other
sports.
So I was getting told you'regonna play in college and then
you're gonna be able to go pro.
And so I'm I'm young, and sosomeone in authority in the
field I want to be in is tellingme the capacity at which I can
(20:52):
function.
The longer that doesn't happen,the more of a lie that it
becomes.
And so then I start to questionmyself and my abilities.
And so that is an example of alie where they're not saying
anything bad.
They're even encouraging me, youknow, like you're gonna be pro
one day.
We hear that and we get soexcited.
But again, the longer that thatdoesn't happen, that starts to
(21:14):
become a lie.
And then you don't know it's alie until you're years down the
road, and then you getperformance anxiety or you
disqualify yourself or you feelunworthy.
And there's a guy named CaseKenny, and he's a really uh he's
just very intuitive with all ofthis stuff.
He's a really well-known coach.
And one of the things that hetalks about, which I love, is he
talks about us needing to affirmkids for their um for their
(21:37):
qualities, not their results.
So rather than saying, hey, youscored seven touchdowns or
whatever it is, or hey, you shota great score today, even if
that's true, you know, affirmingthem more in I you had a great
attitude today, and the effortthat you put forth was valiant,
or however you would say it, youknow.
And so by doing that, you'rereinforcing behavior and
(22:00):
mentality rather than theresult.
And because you can you canplay, um, you know, you can have
a bad result with a goodmentality.
SPEAKER_00 (22:09):
So so you know, driving over here to the golf
garage today with my son, uhstory came on the news.
So it's listening to radio news,and they were saying like
children who have smartphonesand social media at 12 years old
have a 60% higher risk ofdepression by 16.
SPEAKER_01 (22:33):
I wouldn't doubt it.
I uh yeah, I would even say by13.
Like, you know, I'm not gonnaargue with that one bit.
SPEAKER_00 (22:39):
No, but I I mean e even that statistic, yes, I I'm
with you.
I believe it's worse than that.
But even that statistic shouldshould give parents, you know,
the thought to okay, let's pumpthe brakes on this a little bit.
SPEAKER_01 (22:53):
Well, think about this too.
That you have the rate ofantidepressants that are being
prescribed are going up at thesame rate as depression is
increasing.
SPEAKER_00 (23:02):
Which isn't even resolving a problem, underlying
issue of just masking it.
SPEAKER_01 (23:06):
Those should be inverse correlation.
So, number one, we learned thatan external factor can't fix an
internal problem, while at thesame time, you have an increase
in sales in the self-helpindustry while depression is
also increasing.
So you look at the two thingsthat should be working to sort
of combat depression or anxietyor whatever it is, and they're
not, which means we're missingthe problem.
SPEAKER_00 (23:27):
Well, I think uh the majority of the self-help
industry is a scam anyway.
SPEAKER_01 (23:31):
Yeah, I think I mean they're I think the context of
it is good.
I think that the delivery leavesout a lot of the equipping.
I think there's not a lot ofequipping, there's a lot of
telling, there's a lot ofdistribution of knowledge, but
the difference between wisdomand discernment, wisdom is just
knowledge and discernment isknowing what to do with it.
SPEAKER_00 (23:53):
Like that saying I say it's smart and educated are
two very different things.
SPEAKER_01 (23:57):
Yeah.
And so that's the sameprinciple.
So I think that again, like evenwith what Noah does with his
coaching, is he's anybody who isin some coaching space, we
should look at ourselves not asa coach, but an equipper.
Right.
We're not telling them what todo.
We are we are putting them in aposition to do what they're
supposed to do in their waywithout needing this us after a
certain period of time.
(24:17):
And I think I think there's abig gap in the in the self-help
industry.
Not that I'm a standard per se.
I mean, I would consider myselfone.
Like my my main goal is to be awell-known thought leader.
Like I'll just I don't need atitle, I don't need a word this,
blah, blah, blah.
I just want to be known as a asa world-renowned thought leader.
Like you look at Simon Sinek andTim Ferris and Jay Shetty and
(24:40):
all these guys who are sort ofgetting, you know, 40s.
There's they're paving a newway, they're paving a way for
sort of the younger, you know,mid-20s, late 20s, early 30s to
take over.
And I definitely want to be inthat space.
And I think if we can close thegap between what they taught us
and what we're experiencing, Ithink it's gonna be pretty
(25:01):
powerful for the upcominggeneration.
Agreed.
SPEAKER_02 (25:04):
It's awesome.
Well, Daniel, um, one of thecool things we have for our
guests on the show today is thatyou get to use your expertise on
me today.
Now I gotta practice with myface for uh for a few minutes
here.
We're just gonna, we're justgonna chat a little bit.
Um, and I'm really excited to uhto learn a little bit more about
(25:25):
myself, my identity today, andwhat that what that could look
like.
Yeah.
And and again, this isn't thefirst time we talked.
So yeah.
So it's you know, we're friendsalso, um, you know, obviously
family friends at this point.
And uh I'm just I'm just lookingforward to um always growing, as
you know.
And I think um at the end of theday, I just kind of want to
(25:45):
wanna chat a little so our ourviewers can see what this really
is about and um how much it hashelped me, how much it's helped
um our business, our team.
Um, and like you said, I mean, Ithink, you know, we have started
with you and then and thenstopped for quite some time.
(26:05):
And I think at some level it'stime to to start again because
our um our business has changed.
And that would be the mainreasons why, you know, some of
these fundamentals I feel likeneed to be reinstated and and
just getting everybody to feellike um, you know, this is a big
family again.
And that's what I'm look reallylooking forward to in the near
(26:26):
future with you.
SPEAKER_01 (26:27):
Yeah.
A hundred percent.
And yeah, I I think that again,there's creating this base
foundation to start and kind oflike what Darren was alluding to
earlier about um sort of thethose fundamentals when he's
when he thinks that he'sreverting back to old patterns,
but he's really just using aresult to assess something.
You know, there are times whenyou if the result is consistent
(26:49):
enough and and you've been doinga certain pattern long enough,
then it is time to ask thequestion and look at that
pattern and you know, say, okay,is this regardless of this
result, what is the pattern thatI'm doing?
And if this is continued, um, doI like where it ends up?
You know, and so I think, youknow, as businesses change, as
your swing changes, as lifechanges, it's really good to ask
(27:10):
that question of what are thepatterns that I'm doing?
Where did I learn them from?
Are they helping me or not?
Um, you know, and especiallywith your tournament coming up,
I think that's a good segue intouh your current, and it's not
even your self-belief level.
I I think a lot of peoplemisunderstand what I do in terms
of I just get people to thinkabout themselves better.
(27:31):
Um, but it's really justunderstanding how you arrive at
the conclusions that you makeand the stories that you tell
yourself.
And um, so I guess the you know,to kind of get into it as you're
preparing for this tournament,um what would be an inconvenient
behavior or mindset that youhave where if you could shift
(27:52):
it, you could feel a positivechange in where you want to go.
SPEAKER_02 (27:55):
Yeah, when I'm away from my family, I feel like I
should be with my family.
And when I'm, you know, with myfamily, I feel like I should be
working or something else,right?
So I would say that I am so busywith for all good good things,
right?
But so so busy in a way thatsometimes I'm not present,
right?
(28:16):
And I think that being on thislast vacation, it's made me even
more aware of that.
Um and also I've kind of caughtmyself in the act of that a few
times to where um it's afrustration when I'm in both
places and when I have threeyoung kids, it's the last
feeling I want to have.
SPEAKER_01 (28:32):
Yeah.
So what would the uh idealoutcome for that be?
Or what what would you want thatto look like?
If you were a genie and youcould change not the
circumstance but the way inwhich you went about it, what
would that look like?
SPEAKER_02 (28:47):
Yeah, I would I would just say just being more
um grateful for everything I getto do and being more in in the
present, um, I guess would bethe opposite feel of that.
So um I think I've been tryingto express more gratitude in
everything I do.
Um, you know, I also see my wifeworking a lot more too, um,
(29:10):
because she wants to.
But now it's something thatoriginally when we um were gonna
have kids, it was like, hey, I'mgonna be my role is to be at
home, my wife, and you're gonnawork.
And and that was perfect.
And we did that, and then all ofa sudden the kids got to a
certain age and wanted to um,you know, now she wants to work
(29:30):
and totally support it, andshe's killing it.
SPEAKER_03 (29:32):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (29:33):
But she's also now doubting sometimes a little of
like, oh, maybe I should be homemore.
So, you know, there's just a lotof these external kind of
stressors that are going backand forth.
Um, and then there's a lot ofthose things that are out of my
control too.
Yeah.
That on a daily basis you'reputting out a fire as a business
owner or something didn't showup, or things that do matter for
the business at some level, atleast I think they do.
SPEAKER_03 (29:54):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (29:55):
Right.
So, what would you say are someof the biggest things that are
out of your control that you'recurrently?
Thinking that you actually cancontrol.
SPEAKER_02 (30:02):
Uh, one of the things is personal, which would
be uh getting our homerenovation done.
Yeah.
That is like a huge one.
You come home to a mess andyou're like, what is going on
here?
You can't even relax when you gohome.
Yeah.
Um, so that's something actuallyI'm working with your dad on
that we're gonna be looking athopefully uh by spring um and by
the end of next year for sure,having everything kind of
wrapped up at the house.
(30:23):
Yeah.
Um, so it's frustrating still,even though we have a goal just
because it's not done yet.
Um, but again, it's it'ssomewhat out of my control, um,
unless I just quit my job for,you know, two months.
Yeah.
Um, and I would say the otherone is um, I don't know if it's
completely out of my control,but when I make choices to um go
(30:45):
travel to help the business,which is really also helping my
family, um, it's being away fromthe kids.
Yeah.
Right.
So that is really hard knowingthat I don't have at that much
time with them before they'regonna go to college and have
their own lives as well.
Yeah.
So just trying to figure out howto make the most of it.
SPEAKER_01 (31:02):
Yeah.
So as you look through all ofthese different factors,
obviously for those listening,you can kind of see how the
context tends to sort of blendtogether.
Where now we have this jumbledstory.
Those all of the things thatyou're saying are true, they're
valid, they're happening,they're distracting, they're all
(31:26):
of these different things.
But behind all of this, there isa story about what all of those
things mean about you.
And so when you look at thethings you're doing, you're a
father, you're renovating ahome, you're running a business,
you're preparing for atournament, you're uh a husband,
like you're all of thesedifferent things.
And so with, you know, a lot ofpeople I think would say, oh,
(31:50):
you have to wear all of thesedifferent hats.
But thinking that you're wearinga different hat for each thing
means that there's you have totake on this different persona.
And so the whole point ofidentity and the narrative is to
know the thread that goesthrough all of those things so
that rather than putting on adifferent hat, you can wear the
same hat and just sort ofenhance different things at
(32:12):
different times.
And so if you were to pick anarea that you want to experience
transformation in right now,where again, if you were a genie
and you could just snap yourfingers and change something,
what would it be?
SPEAKER_02 (32:28):
Somebody check my email for me.
That's a pretty easy fix.
Yeah.
Uh I mean, yeah, ultimately, Ithink you hit the nail on the
head with the feeling of there'sa lot, right?
So, like the clutteredness, um,my personality trait is is more
of a planner type A, obviously,knowing what I intend to do.
(32:49):
And I think the hardest partabout all of this is just the
time.
I don't have the time.
So if I was a genie and couldsnap or had a genie and could
snap the finger, it would be howdo I get more time?
And um, yeah, I mean, I I thinkthat's number one because you
don't get that back.
SPEAKER_01 (33:06):
So the story, so there's the first sort of story
is that I don't have the time.
So that's not true or false,that's the belief.
So if you reframe it, and it'snot I don't have the time, but
what time do I have and what amI doing with it?
How would you answer that?
SPEAKER_02 (33:23):
Yeah, I would say that what time, I just it feels
to me that I don't have a lotbecause um I'm saying yes to so
many things because I feel likethey're valid instead of maybe
delegating.
Um, and part of it as well isum, you know, with the business
(33:45):
growing, going into that realmfor a second, we just or I just
hired an operations manager.
So I'm training that person toactually take a lot of the
things that are taking my timeoff my plate, but we're not
there yet.
Yeah.
So there's just so muchtransition that can turn into
transformational growth for me,but it's it's becoming um,
(34:06):
there's times where I'm so tiredthat I don't, you know, I wake
up in the middle of the nightand I'm like, oh, I need to do
this, I need to do that, right?
So then all of a sudden the restpart of it also isn't there.
So um I totally kind of get thequestion, but I'm not certain
what the answer is for me yet.
Yeah, because I think I I'mworking on it already.
(34:27):
Yeah.
And I think that's the the thebiggest piece is like I'm happy
I'm working on it, but I'mfrustrated because I I'm not I'm
not there yet.
Yeah.
And then, you know, well.
SPEAKER_01 (34:38):
Yeah.
And what's and what'sinteresting is that as a
planner, of what to use yourwords, you know, type A planner
need to know what to do.
But then within the story, youdon't know what you're doing.
So there's this contradictingbelief about yourself and then
the way that you're performing.
So then, you know, one of thethings that you said is I'm
saying yes to a lot of things.
(34:58):
So, what is the belief aboutyourself if you start to say no
to some of these things?
What would that mean about you?
SPEAKER_02 (35:04):
Right.
And I think ultimately for me isI feel like when I say yes, I
can do them, and then I startdoing them and realize, oh gosh,
I don't have the time to dothem.
Yeah.
And so I have been saying nomore.
Um, but yeah, I think I don't Ithink the belief might be just
letting someone down.
I don't know for certain if thatwould be the case.
(35:24):
Um, but I've always been so I'vegrew up the little guy, right?
So I think I always had to proveto others how to um make the
varsity team in anything, right?
And I don't think that wasanything that was um anything
other than just being physicallysmall.
(35:45):
Yeah.
Right.
And so, you know, that'sprobably part of it.
And then also just alwayswanting to be the best, right?
So I think my mindset was alwaysthat.
And so to be the best sometimesmeant, you know, doing more,
right?
And so by doing more, I thinkthat's always kind of been my
shift is oh, I can do that, oh,I can do that.
And I can, right?
(36:05):
But something will sufferbecause of it.
Yeah.
And the things that aresuffering is that time with
family andor then time to workon something else.
So I do need to sacrifice moreor delegate more in order to
still have it.
Because my my my thought processhas always been put better
people around you, you know, atcertain items so you all boil up
(36:28):
together.
But do I truly do that?
I don't think I do as much as Icould because you get into it
and then by the end of somethingthat someone else did, half the
time you have to fix it or do itthe way that you want to do it
or redo it anyway.
And whose fault is that?
Well, ultimately it comes downon the person training them at
some level, unless the personjust can't do it.
(36:49):
Yeah.
And so I think there's a lot ofa lot of different things there
that come up.
Um, and then it just snowballs,right?
So then after that day, you gohome and then you know you see a
mess that wasn't even a mess.
The kids were just playing andyou get frustrated, and and so
then it just spirals, right?
And so I think ultimately that'swhat I'm getting at when I'm
(37:12):
like, man, I just need to figureout how to be a little bit more
grateful, yeah, as opposed tofor what I have and the time I
have with them right now.
And um, I do kind of get thatthought process too of you know,
there's it seems like there'sgot to be a little bit more
thought before saying yes, yeah,and understanding that it's not
(37:34):
that big of a deal if I don't dosomething.
Because for lack of betterwords, I don't ever I don't
necessarily feel like I'mmissing out, right?
That whatever that FOMO thingis, that I didn't even know what
that was for the longest time.
Um but I don't like to pass upon opportunities, right?
So that's the way I've alwayskind of said it.
(37:55):
So like somebody today um askedme if I'd be interested in a
really big project.
And I said, well, I said, I'mnot really in a place to do it,
but I'll always listen.
Right.
And I think the problem is thenyou take time to listen, right?
And instead of just saying, Ican't do that right now.
Yeah.
And what I've noticed too, nowthat you've kind of brought that
up to my attention, is that someof the people I respect the most
(38:18):
when I've talked to them aboutthings like that, they
immediately just say, No, Ican't do that.
Yep.
SPEAKER_01 (38:23):
So So here's what's cool for those of you listening.
Um, I'll address Noah directlyin a minute, but I kind of just
want to explain what I've beenlistening to as you've been
talking.
So I've heard a couple differentstories.
The type of language that you'reusing is like associative
language.
So when you say always or never,and there are definitely times
(38:44):
where it wasn't always and itwasn't never.
And so one of the first thingsI'll listen for is when we
generalize information to tellthe story about ourselves.
And so always being the littleguy.
Now, here's what's reallyimportant it's the same thing
when I describe the differencebetween being a victim and
victimhood, right?
So, victim is something happenedto you or you're living in the
(39:05):
consequences of something thatyou did.
No one would take that away.
Um, victimhood is coming intoagreement that, excuse me, that
because that happened, that isnow the narrative and the
identity of who you are.
So, for example, are you a smallare you smaller in stature?
Yes.
Does that now mean I will alwaysbe at a disadvantage and I'll
always have to work harder andblah, blah, blah, blah, blah?
(39:26):
False.
So the story about the staturechanges the way that you
function and operate.
And so um that's why I askedalso, what is the belief about
yourself if you say no?
First thought that you gave wasthat it was letting someone
down.
So then my question would havebeen if we're doing a full
session, obviously we don't havetime.
Where was the first time thatyou remember saying no and
having someone say that you letthem down by doing that?
(39:49):
Um, so we can answer that in alittle bit.
But for those of you that arelistening, I want you to hear
and maybe re-listen afterhearing me say this, re-listen
to his story.
Where are you in your lifedescribing yourself in a way
that's using associativelanguage where the narrative is,
I'm always like this or I'vealways been like this, and
therefore that's why thishappens.
(40:10):
And you notice, Noah said, youhave the belief, which then
creates the pattern, which thencreates not the result, but the
experience of the of thecircumstance that you have.
And the my whole goal withclients, I don't care if your
circumstances change.
Obviously, that's a bonus, butthe whole point of doing
identity work is so that yourcircumstances don't have to.
That's that's you know, reallyimportant to understand is that
(40:33):
we're not doing this so that youmake more money, get better at
your sport, fall in love, all ofthe stuff.
That stuff could happen, butit's so that you don't need
those things to happen in orderfor you to be solid.
And so, questions I would tellNoah to ask himself again is you
know, when you say no, you'resaying no to an opportunity.
What makes it?
What makes something anopportunity?
Is it just money?
(40:53):
Is it getting your name onsomething?
You have to, and you learnedwhat an opportunity was
somewhere.
So for everybody listeningagain, you're only born with two
fears, the fear of loud noisesand the fear of falling,
everything else you learn.
So you learn guilt, you learnshame, you learn embarrassment,
you learn that you're not goodenough.
And if it's something that youlearn, it's something that you
can unlearn or you can combat itwith a proper belief system.
(41:14):
So there is a belief system thatNoah is carrying right now
around opportunity,productivity, work ethic, et
cetera.
And so the belief is that if Isay no, it means that I'm giving
them a chance to believe thatI'm incapable and I'm very
capable, and I've had to showthat I was capable my whole
life.
So saying no means this, but itonly means that because that's
(41:36):
the belief that you've putbehind it.
And it's why most peoplefunction within their
suggestions rather than settingboundaries.
And so people will feel like aboundary is being crossed in
their life when in reality theydidn't make it a boundary, you
know.
And so saying no is a boundary.
You know, saying yes is aboundary.
You've created a boundary aroundyou saying yes.
(41:57):
Now they have full permission toenter into the space of your yes
to present the documents, to setup the phone calls, to do all
this stuff.
And then you're you'rerealizing, oh, I actually don't
have time for any of this stuff.
And I want to do more, but thenyou have to define what more is.
Is it because more could be oneminute more?
More could be, you know, moremoney is one more dollar, more
(42:18):
time is one more minute.
So we have to get crystal clearon the definitions that we're
using to describe ourselves, ourworkplace, our goals, our
desires, whatever the case maybe, to learn the place that
we're coming from.
That way, when someone asks youa question or makes a statement,
you know, before you answer,you're like, what am I believing
about myself?
And if I'm only saying yes,because I believe that saying no
(42:41):
will let them down and that Iquote unquote miss out on an
opportunity, I have to do someassessment before I give before
I give an answer, or just giveme some time to think about it
as even a placeholder so you canfigure out what the actual
belief is.
SPEAKER_02 (42:52):
Yeah, no, absolutely.
I mean, that's all super, superpowerful.
And I think just as you startedasking some of the questions, it
got me to internalize it umpretty quickly as I just started
talking through it.
Right.
So there was definitely a coupleaha moments, even with just a
few of the questions that youasked um that were like, oh
(43:14):
yeah, that's kind of dumb.
I get to make my own decision onhow much time I have ultimately.
But at the same time, you know,when you're an entrepreneur and
you own a business, you have toset certain parameters and
deadlines for yourself.
Um, you know, and you know, whenthere's debt involved and all
the other things, you have to dowhat you have to do at times.
(43:36):
And so I think ultimately umthat fight or flight type of a
feeling of like is on a lot morefor me just with trying to get
this thing ramped up to a placewhere it can kind of take off.
Yeah, you know, and so yeah, no,it's it's definitely this is
super powerful.
And I think ultimately for me,it's just gonna I need to take
some time now to think about itand digest it a little bit too.
SPEAKER_01 (43:58):
So and the key is you're not ignoring the truth
and you're not ignoring thefacts, like timelines do exist,
quotas do exist.
You do have to get things done.
People are victims of things,like for example, my father,
he's an immigrant, you know.
So the truth about him was thathe moved to America speaking
zero English with zero job.
True.
(44:19):
Does that now mean, and if hisstory is because of this, that
means now I will forever have adisadvantage and nobody's gonna
work with me because I wasn'tborn.
That's false.
So we cut, we cut the truth, orwe we go to the truth and we use
the truth to cut through thestory about the thing that
happened.
And so a lot of us are living inthe story when the circumstance
(44:43):
is far removed from us.
And again, no one will take awayfrom the trauma, no one's
ignoring any of that.
And I think that's why it'sreally important as well to
really evaluate how you doaffirmations, you know, because
a lot of affirmations are justlying to yourself about the
things you wish you believed.
And I don't have time to getinto that right now.
But again, it's, you know,you're saying, I am healthy, I'm
(45:04):
wealthy, I'm pretty, I'm allthese things, whatever it is,
and that's all fine and good.
But the reason you're lookinginto the mirror saying, I am
pretty is because you learnedsomewhere that you weren't.
And so rather than just sayingthe thing you hope you believe
one day, you know, the fake ittill you make it thing, I think
is BS, you go to the point whereyou learn that you weren't
pretty, which is most likelybefore age 14 or 13, and then
(45:26):
you fit and you go back as yourage now, you tell yourself the
truth then is that otherpeople's definition and
description of you does notdetermine your exterior.
And then you work on that, andthen you don't need the
affirmation.
And that's true freedom.
It isn't believing a lie aboutyourself that you wish you
believe.
And I think a lot of people missthat.
Um, so I just want to make thatclear.
I don't want people to go and,you know, willy-nilly just
(45:49):
ignoring the truth about factsthat actually happened.
No one, no one would ever denythat.
SPEAKER_02 (45:52):
I think every girl needs to burn all their Barbie
dolls when you see a girlholding a Barbie doll up right
next to it, right next to her inthe mirror and say, I don't look
like you.
No, that's dude, that's awesomestuff.
SPEAKER_00 (46:04):
Trying to break my 12-year-old girl of her
obsession with wanting makeupand beauty products.
I'm like, oh yeah.
You're 12.
Your skin, yeah, it's perfect.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (46:13):
Yeah.
Well, and and also where didwhere did they, you know, when
they start to say these things,like, where did you learn that?
Where did it come from?
You learn social media whenyou're 12, 13, whatever, you
whenever they're learning adultthings, it's because of how the
generation is being structuredbecause of social media.
We learn these kids are learningthings a lot earlier on than
they should be learning them.
(46:34):
And so then you have toobviously, because of social
media and technology andeverything, we just have to be
really, really careful.
And so, asking, you know, ifyou're listening to this and you
have kids and they bring upsomething, and you know, where
did you learn that?
And what do you believe aboutyourself when you think of that?
Like, where did you learn thatyou need makeup to be pretty?
You know, where are you learningthese things?
(46:54):
And and what do you think thedefinition of beauty is?
And so starting this young,where you're asking really adult
questions, but it's in achildlike way.
It's like, what do you thinkbeing beautiful is?
And where did you learn that?
And what does that mean aboutyou?
And where, you know, how andthen you're learning how to
affirm your children.
And again, not in their results,but in their belief system.
(47:15):
Right.
Like I'm so proud of you forseeing the need to make someone
feel better.
Or, you know, there we could goon and on with examples, but you
know, all we do is we make ourdecisions based off of the
definitions that we have forthings in the story that we
believe in any given moment.
SPEAKER_00 (47:30):
The entire country needs to listen to this podcast,
whether they're into golf ornot.
SPEAKER_01 (47:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (47:36):
Well, yeah, I think that's the whole point of this,
is it doesn't pertain to asport, it pertains to just the
fundamentals.
SPEAKER_01 (47:43):
And it's so funny how it expresses itself.
Like people will come to me withthe symptom, whether it's soccer
or golf or their business orwhatever.
And it's just all they're doingis showing me where the where
the belief system is beingexpressed.
And I'm like, great, I don'tneed the contact.
We have contact.
SPEAKER_02 (48:01):
We we've had these conversations.
I've had you up to the OPGAteaching and coaching um summit
with me, and we and we spoke onemotional intelligence
essentially, which I don't thinkanyone in the room knew that
because I didn't know what itwas until I met you either.
And um Christopher Smith, who'suh a leading golf coach around
the world, was also speaking andhe's very big into mindset.
(48:25):
And um, I just thought it was sointeresting how we we teach a
game, we coach a game, and atsome level, yeah, you have to
develop these skills to performat the game, right?
Then you have to know the rulesof the game, and then you start
thinking about how to win, andthen you have to have the
strategy behind it to win.
And then when you lose, there'sall these different things of
(48:47):
like, oh, well, my goal was towin and I didn't, so now I suck
or I'm not good.
And so there's all these beliefsthat come into play there
without getting deep into that.
It's just like at what level,you know, because of parents and
how engaged they get with juniorgolfers or sports, um, and then
just fans in general and thosepressures, it's like you need to
(49:09):
have someone like Daniel workingwith you so you understand what
to really believe, and you haveto find that out for yourself.
And I think what I love aboutthis system is that you're not
giving me the answer ever.
I have to find out the answer.
And I think you alluded to thatearlier about when we talked
about mental um illness in theindustry, right, in general, and
(49:32):
how they're being told what theyneed to do.
Well, they're not that person,they can't internalize what
they're feeling.
Yeah, but something they'rehere.
Right.
But what you're doing is you'reallowing some of the basic
fundamentals to come out intoplay.
And again, I think for me, ittook about three um, again,
(49:53):
these were group sessions, butby the third session that we did
um with our team, I started toreally understand a little bit
more about it, right?
And so I could see how in sixsessions you could really grasp
it and maybe not master it, butknow what to do moving forward
for yourself.
So it's really cool.
SPEAKER_01 (50:11):
And it's and it's even, you know, I I'm very
transparent.
I'm like, I'm not sitting onthis mountain of wisdom that
nobody has access to.
I'm not a guru that figured itout.
Most of my sessions are askingthe same question 15 times and
their answer changes 15 times,which is why I ask it 15 times
because I now within three tofive, sometimes 10 minutes, I
(50:37):
know the false narrative likepretty, pretty instantly.
But what good is it if I sitthere and I tell them?
Because now what I'm doing, likepeople in the coaching space
that tell their clients whatthey believe are just adding to
the false narrative.
SPEAKER_00 (50:53):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (50:53):
Because I'm like, well, my therapist told me and
my coach told me, and well,whoever told me, and that now
means this.
It's like you're going in therewith the same framework.
Now I've just added a layer offalse identity onto you.
SPEAKER_00 (51:07):
And you're enabling that false identity versus
exactly offering tools tocorrect it.
SPEAKER_01 (51:12):
Yeah.
And the and the question, youknow, if people what's the
question that he had?
Like, I'm my goal is to to givea TED talk within the next year.
And, you know, the title wouldbe your one question away from
total identity transformation.
People are like, well, what'sthe question?
And I the answer is just thenext one, you know.
And so it's, but the questionthat I ask a lot is what would
(51:32):
that mean about you?
So people tell me their goals,this is this amount of money,
this score.
Oh, and what would that meanabout you?
And what would that mean?
And what would that mean?
And where'd you learn that?
And what did that mean?
And what would that mean?
And what and it keeps changinguntil you get back to the root.
And usually it's it would meanthat I was worthy.
Okay.
So there's the lie is that thismakes me worthy.
And then that's what that's thestart.
SPEAKER_00 (51:53):
And anything below that, you're not worthy.
SPEAKER_01 (51:57):
Yeah.
And then you you learned thatsomewhere.
And so the thing that you'redoing, you're either looking for
significance, love, connection,or certainty.
SPEAKER_00 (52:04):
So, how much of this worthiness mindset is not
learned?
I mean, initially it was learnedsomewhere.
All right, all right, I gottaachieve this benchmark to be
worthy.
SPEAKER_03 (52:16):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (52:16):
But then once you achieve that benchmark and
you're 22 years old, yeah, howare you gonna feel by the time
you're 25 if you don't set a newbenchmark for worthiness?
SPEAKER_01 (52:27):
And yeah, and it's again, it's just a way of
snowball.
Yeah, and it's also it's just aperspective of worthiness
because the other thing is youdon't it was actually really
interesting.
I saw a video yesterday, andduring, you know, not to get
into this, this was just for thesake of the video, during the
the Russia-Ukraine situation inthe Olympics, one of the uh
(52:51):
Russian gymnasts they weren'tusing the Russian flag, so they
he couldn't sing his anthem, hecouldn't represent his country,
he couldn't be on the podium, hegot no interviews and he won
gold.
And he was just alone.
And so it's like, have wedecided that worthiness is doing
the thing we want and beingrecognized for it, or just doing
(53:13):
the thing we want?
Because if there's no one thereto see the thing that you
decided you were worthy of, youknow, where did you where did
you learn that again?
And so then that we have to askthe question, and what does that
mean about you?
Daniel, how can people get ahold of you?
Um, Instagram is Daniel Schuler,so D-A-N-I-E-L-S-C-H-U-L-E-R-R.
(53:36):
And then I have a website comingup very soon.
Uh so we can put that in thelink of this podcast as well.
People be able to book me freeonboarding call to see if we're
a good fit.
Uh, call it like a breakthroughcall.
And yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (53:49):
And what's that website gonna be?
SPEAKER_01 (53:51):
Um, we are still harvest, we're like harnessing
the GoDaddy domain right now.
So you will be there soonenough.
Yeah, yeah.
We've been there before.
I think it's I think it's gonnabe Danielshuler.vip.
All right.
I think that's the I thinkthat's what we're leaning
towards right now.
SPEAKER_00 (54:05):
So okay.
SPEAKER_01 (54:07):
Hey Daniel, thanks, man.
That was Steve.
Thank you.
It was awesome.
SPEAKER_00 (54:11):
You know me.
Until next week.
We got to do this again, Daniel.
Yeah, we will in person whileyou're in TensorFlow.
SPEAKER_01 (54:17):
Yeah, we will.
All right.
Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_00 (54:19):
Take care.
See you next week.
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