November 23, 2025 • 43 mins
Real change at home often starts with small, repeatable habits: a shared meal, a calm conversation, a clear boundary. We invited Elder Alexis Pipkins to walk us through the Strengthening Families Program and how 11 structured sessions help parents and kids trade conflict for connection. From the first dinner to the final booster, this skills-based approach (not therapy) leans on the five protective factors—parental resilience, social connections, concrete support, parenting knowledge, and social-emotional development—to make families stronger where it counts most: daily life.
We talk about who can join—any caregiver of a child aged six to seventeen—and what to expect each week: parents and children learn in separate groups, then reunite to practice family skills. You’ll hear practical tools that work in real homes, like reward charts that motivate, family meetings that give children a voice, and positive discipline that teaches instead of punishes. We dive into ACEs and risk factors with clear language, and we show how coaches deliver the model with fidelity while adapting to local needs across Lee, Florence, Darlington, Williamsburg, and Sumter Counties.
Barriers don’t get ignored here; they get removed. Site coordinators help with transportation, gas cards, childcare, and connections to utilities assistance, food banks, and partners who sponsor meals. We also spotlight male engagement, volunteer opportunities, and why the dinner table is more than furniture—it’s a ritual that anchors listening, choices, and bonding. Stay to the end for enrollment details, upcoming cycles hosted at Savannah Grove, and ways to refer a family through Children’s Trust.
If this conversation sparked an idea for your home or your community, share it with a friend, subscribe for more stories like this, and leave a quick review. Your support helps more families find a seat at the table.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:04):
Hello everyone.
This is Joe Silia and welcome toNative Jumps.
I'm sitting in for Reverend Dr.
Ralph Telpha McCanti on thisevening.
And our guest today is Mr.
Alexis Pipkins.
Reverend Elder.
Elder, thank you.
Elder Alexis Pipkins.
And he's the director of theStrengthening Families Program,
(00:29):
which is a very much neededprogram for this day and age.
So the first steps of LeeCounty.
All right, yes.
First steps of Lee County.
I remember going to a banquet.
Oh, there were a lot of amazingstories at that banquet.
That was a great thing, butwelcome.
(00:50):
I'm on another street.
Welcome, Alexis.
SPEAKER_01 (00:55):
Welcome, good.
Good to be here.
Welcome, welcome.
Received.
SPEAKER_00 (00:58):
Yes, it's great to have you.
Now, the Strengthening Familiesprogram, I saw, you gave me some
history.
Let's talk about some historyand and um when it was founded
and and how the the and when umit reached Lee County.
Because you serve um Lee County,Florence County, uh, what was
(01:20):
it, Darlington County, WillsburgCounty, Sumter.
And Sumter.
That was a lot of counties, alot of work.
Yeah, so give us a littlebackground on first on um
Strengthening Families, theStrength and Families program.
SPEAKER_01 (01:34):
Well for Lee County First Steps, uh, which is our
our agency, our beginning withStrengthening the Family
actually prior to the umChildren's Trust grant, which we
are actually implemented in thecounties, which you mentioned,
um which began in 2013.
SPEAKER_00 (01:49):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (01:50):
Um we actually were implementing it with our adult
ed in Lee County at the time,and then director came to us in
terms of trying to find aparenting program that we would
be able to provide support andservices, which is what we call
parent and child time.
And so the StrengtheningFamilies program was the program
that we selected, and we alsohad individuals throughout the
(02:12):
region and the state who cameand were also trained in the
curriculum, and that providedour segue into the strengthening
families program.
And then a few years later, umthe Children's Trust opened up a
grant opportunity that weactually applied for, and um we
were part of the second win ofthe first year of the Children's
(02:35):
Trust implementing the programin 2012.
So and this is 2025, and ourexpansion has grown from just
little old Lee County, and thenwe went from Lee to Darlington,
uh Florence, Sumter,Williamsburg, and back to
Darlington again.
So it's a powerful program interms of providing support and
(02:58):
services to parents andchildren.
SPEAKER_00 (03:00):
That's awesome.
And like I said, that you haveum many counties, so that's a
lot of work.
You have a great staff, I'msure, that handles that helps
you.
SPEAKER_01 (03:11):
Yeah, we've got a great team.
Um, I have two program managers,um, Miss Mamie uh McKay and Miss
Bessie Sanders Gordon.
Um both of we split the countiesup and then we work with uh site
coordinators in each of theareas.
And a part of our role and hasbeen to ensure that we've
developed capacity.
And when I say capacity with thesite coordinators, we are
(03:34):
developing other leaders who cantake on leadership roles in
terms of managing the sitesbecause the site coordinators
play a pivotal role in terms ofrecruiting uh staff, also
recruiting families, and alsomaking connections with the
local communities.
So one of our tasks has been inthe five counties that we're in,
also trying to grow staff, andthese individuals work serve as
(03:57):
independent contractors orconsultants with us, and they
make a world of a difference interms of making sure that the
fidelity of the curriculum isfollowed at all times, and also
ensuring that families, anybarriers that they have, they
provide those barriers to us sothat we can eliminate barriers
to ensure that families canactively engage in the program
(04:18):
during the 11 nights that are 11sessions at this time.
SPEAKER_00 (04:22):
Oh, okay, okay.
So, how um do what's the processfor families to be a part of
this program?
SPEAKER_01 (04:30):
Uh the process really, any family can benefit
from strengthening family.
So that Miss Norma, we want tomake certain we throw out that
it's only for certain people,understanding that the the crux
of the program was developedaround terms of people say,
Well, you know, maybe this groupor that group, that's not the
case because all families havesome type of aces or some type
(04:53):
of issues, or all families alsocome with strengths.
And because of that, we engageanyone if they have a child
that's age six to seventeen.
So I like to make sure that wethrow that out there.
Okay.
That is the prima donna or thethe uh the requirement that
you've got to have anage-eligible child, okay.
(05:14):
Age six to seventeen, and it canbe the parent, the grandparent,
the aunt or uncle, the personthat is involved in the child's
life, it can be a cousin, andthey come and they participate
with the child during those 11sessions.
And um in several of thecounties, um, some meet once a
week, some meet twice a week.
(05:36):
So depending on what the staffdecide in the local community,
they will meet over thoseperiods, but they have to meet
for 11 sessions.
Okay.
And after it's not where peoplecan roll in after night four,
after night three, thatsolidifies the group.
That is that that group thatwill make up what we call a
(05:56):
cycle.
SPEAKER_02 (05:56):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (05:57):
And they will attend and participate um throughout
the course of the eleven cycles.
And um all each cycle starts,number the first thing that
starts out with is the meal.
Then the parents go to asession, then the children go to
a session, and then they comeback to what's called the family
skills.
Okay.
And that's the piece where theyactually take to practice the
(06:18):
skills that they have gainedfrom the evening session that we
want to ensure that they exitand that they will retain those
types of skills to make thistheir family stronger and much
more effective.
SPEAKER_00 (06:28):
Oh, that's wonderful.
That's wonderful.
Is it difficult to get families?
SPEAKER_01 (06:32):
Uh it is not all in some communities.
There may, I don't like to saydifficult, right?
But there are challenges thatmay be presented.
And for for example, sometimeswhen some a family may start a
program, uh the parent workschedule may not may be one way,
but then once they get started,it may change.
So what we always try to do withwhen they have those types of
(06:55):
difficult issues or if they havechallenges, what we try to do is
encourage families to havesomeone else to be a part of
your family as well, so that thefamily can still complete the
program.
And one of the um challengessometimes that's presented to us
is getting men involved.
So, what um we've put before us,because our funds are all we
(07:16):
want to see more male involved,and men also bring a lot of
richness to the conversationsand discussions as they cover
the curriculum, that we putadditional incentives in place
for men to participate.
And um, in fact, tonight we hada graduation and down in um King
Street, and as I was making mycomments to them, I said I
(07:38):
acknowledged the two men thatwere that had graduated with
their families.
So the piece in terms of thechallenges or difficulties that
may present it, we try to ensurethat staff we come together and
do some SWOT analysis to ensurethat we eliminate those types of
barriers.
Transportation in some locationsmay become an issue.
(07:58):
Um, one of my earliest umremembrances when we started um
strengthening families, we wentto down to Lynchburg and um
church, we were actually at achurch in the community, and
when we planned, we planned inmind that we're in rural
Lynchburg and we were planningthat we need to ensure that we
had transportation, and one ofthe churches had a van, and the
(08:21):
church had provided theutilization of their van and the
uniqueness of what the familysaid, we're glad to have this
program, and you know what?
We were carpooled, so that endedup becoming a value add.
So what we initially thought wasa barrier ended up not being a
barrier.
So every community has its ownunique opportunities, and so
(08:44):
that's why when the uh sitecoordinators and the family
coaches is what we call theindividuals who provide the
instruction and support for thesessions, they engage them and
they provide during their weekduring their evening wrap up the
information so that we canensure that whatever they need
to eliminate barriers, thatwe'll provide those things.
(09:05):
And so sometimes we have toprovide cabs in Lee County.
Um we also collaborate even withour local transit.
So we we find unique ways andtry to find partners, or even
churches that provide support aswell.
And you just there are peopleout here that are willing to
provide those types of supportand services to make things
happen for the community.
SPEAKER_00 (09:26):
That's great.
That's great.
I'll tell you what, it soundslike it's a really great
program.
There should be a waiting list.
Well, there should be a waitinglist.
SPEAKER_01 (09:36):
In in some communities, we have longer we
always the philosophy is whenour program ends, we're supposed
to have a waiting list.
Okay.
So that also um establishes withour funder that we have people
that are ready.
SPEAKER_00 (09:50):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (09:51):
And now of course, sometimes what happens is the
point that you said that oncethe um we get ready to start
that night one, and then whenthe site coordinator makes
contact, say, well, my workschedule has changed, my
family's changed, or we may havemoved out of one area, and that
may not fit that time.
Um as I'm reflecting, we we'recoming down to some graduations.
(10:12):
Um last week, um, one of thegroups that finished, um, one of
the young ladies had startedwith one group, but she didn't
graduate.
And so um one of the familycoaches said the young lady
called and said she wanted tocome back through the program.
So their team's discussion waswell, this person had gotten so
close, right, and we had a lotof services that we actually had
(10:34):
provided transportation for thisperson.
And she said she didn't want tofinish.
And um even in terms of Iactually sent a staff person to
the home to knock on the door,but she did they're not so so
from from the the administrativeend, someone would say, Well,
why would you want to still comeback after that person?
(10:55):
Well, guess what?
We the staff said, Well,everybody deserves a second
chance.
SPEAKER_00 (11:00):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (11:01):
And that mother and her child completed the program.
And not not only did the ch theycomplete the program, but for
their graduation, she actuallywas the person at MC'd.
So it's about families.
You know, we we sometimes peoplewrite families off, uh, write
individuals in their family off,but that's not what we should be
(11:22):
about.
It's about strengthening thefamily.
There you go.
So by ensuring that for the sakeof her coming back through when
she didn't complete, this issomething now she and her family
they completed together.
So you just you we never knowwhat things happen in people's
lives.
SPEAKER_00 (11:39):
That's right, that's right, that's right.
That's a great story for her tocome back and to make sure that,
to have that passion to comeback, you know.
So the foundation of thestrengthening families program
is based upon five protectivefactors.
So let's talk about thosefactors of the enhancing of
(11:59):
parental resilience, providingan array of social connections,
providing parents concretesupport in times of need, and
facilitating knowledge ofparenting and child development,
as well as supporting healthysocial and emotional development
in young children.
So that parental resilience,let's start there.
(12:22):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (12:22):
Um, with parental resilience, you know, in life,
all of us have issues andchallenges.
SPEAKER_00 (12:28):
Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (12:29):
And sometimes with some families, when they go
through issues, they feel likethere's no hope.
And so the resilience piece, andI some people like to describe
it as like a basketball.
You know, when life happens, itgoes up, comes down, goes up,
and it comes back down.
But with resilience, you developthe skills that when you go
(12:49):
through experiences in life,this is not the end.
Yes, yes, yes.
This is not the end.
And the the up, the array of theother protective facts, because
the curriculum is rooted andgrounded in the five protective
factors, it gives the familymembers, from the parent to the
child, the ability to understandthat it's about protecting your
(13:10):
family.
You guard your family, butyou've got to have some skills
in terms of the pro-socialcomponents that makes your
family stronger.
And one good thing about thiscurriculum, and when I say it as
a curriculum, because thefamilies, when they come
together, they come and theyshare and they pour into each
(13:31):
other.
And when they pour into eachother, guess what?
I don't care whether or not youare on a hundred thousand
dollars or whether you maketwenty thousand dollars.
We all are parents and we're allon the same playing field.
And you know what?
You might have thought that youwere the only one going through
this, and then guess what?
She going, he's going throughthe same thing that I'm going
(13:54):
through.
So sometimes parents need to beable to listen to others to know
that you know what, this is notthe end of the world.
And you know, sometimes what youthought if a child breaks
something that, hey, that's no,that's not the end of the world.
That's just something thathappened.
You know what?
I can buy something else toreplace it.
And also being able to havestrategies as it relates to
discipline.
(14:14):
You know, lots of familiessometimes they discipline, like
their parents or theirgrandparents, discipline.
A lot of parents did a lot ofhollering or screaming, uh, a
lot of corporal or physicalpunishment.
And because parents did notalways have other skills and
tools.
One good thing about thisprogram in terms of with
families, the parent and thechild, they come together during
(14:37):
that family, during that familytime.
And you're working on skills.
Uh, for example, one of myfavorite ones is the spinner
game in terms of being able tounderstand that discipline is
not just negative, disciplinealso has a positive approach.
But if you have never had theopportunity to have some level
of instruction and then also toengage your child in the
(15:00):
process, then old people used tosay like this, whatever I see is
it.
Children are to be what?
Seen and not heard.
And if that is a philosophy thathas been transferred to one
generation to anothergeneration, and we call that a
two-gen approach, when you don'tunderstand that you've got to be
know how to engage.
(15:20):
And you from the faith-basedcomponents is train up a child
in the way he should go.
Training is teaching, but youcan't teach that which you don't
know to teach.
So because we are parents, thatdon't mean we have that we get
it right all the time.
So those understanding thosefive protective factors as a
(15:41):
parent and also ensuring thatyour child also understands it
brings a commonality togetherwhere you're able to interact
and to relate with your child.
And SFP is a is an effective wayto put these practical skills
into practice.
And when they do have thatfamily time, they practice.
And then they have home practicewhere they're able to practice
(16:04):
again.
And then they come back and thenthey share it.
And then that next week whenthey come back over that meal
time, then what the familycoaches do, they circulate
throughout.
Hey, how did things go?
Did you do your home practice?
How was it?
And they talk about it.
So it lays a foundation ofpracticing not just theory, but
this is practicing what you get.
(16:26):
And one beautiful thing aboutthis is that later we do what's
called the booster session.
I call it the family reunion.
Nine days after the program isover, they come back.
SPEAKER_02 (16:35):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (16:36):
And they talk about the skills that they continue to
do.
And so that is always refreshingto us.
And we do a lot of differentcreative things in the different
counties as well.
SPEAKER_00 (16:44):
Now, earlier we were talking about the table.
Yep.
The table.
And that's something thatdoesn't happen like it used to.
Um eating dinner together.
And so let's talk about that,that connection at the table and
making sure you have a table inyour home, you said.
SPEAKER_01 (17:03):
Yep.
And the first part of theStrengthening Families program,
and I I guess you can tell I'vegot a few little pounds on me.
So the meal time is veryimportant because I believe that
the the meal time is you youwant to ensure that the menu is
right.
Right.
You want to make sure that theambience or the atmosphere is
(17:26):
right.
And when families sit down, andwe try to with the program, we
also get input from the familieswhat to include on our menus.
And that's their time forinteraction, that's their time
for sharing.
But you've got to also ensurethat families have a structure
so that they know how tocommunicate.
It's not we just come in, eat,and talk about anything.
(17:49):
It is structured around thecurriculum itself.
And the meal time, as we weretalking about the table, we've
learned that a lot of familiesdon't have a table.
SPEAKER_00 (17:58):
Don't have a table.
SPEAKER_01 (17:59):
Don't sit down at, you know, I my grandmama when
she when I got out of school andgot home by four by four
o'clock, guess what we weredoing?
We were sitting in the kitchenat the table, eating dinner,
sitting down talking, how wasthe day?
What went on during the day.
That's right.
Anything happened, I need toknow.
And then on Sundays, we sat inthe dining room table at the
(18:22):
dining room table.
That was a part, but that levelof communication and skills that
I that I've ascertained, I'velearned that a lot of our young
people, they don't have that.
And so the parents don't.
So when we've had families to gothrough the program, and when
they graduate, and when a childsays, well, because of us going
through this program, my mamabought a table.
(18:42):
My daddy, they we got a tablethat we sit down and we have
meals.
Because a lot of families,particularly who may drive, they
they drive and eat on the gofrom the restaurants, and they
don't sit down.
But it is important thatfamilies sit down and have that
bonding time.
And then they also can do gameswith because one part of the
(19:04):
program, they do child's game,parent game, and they're able to
decide who's going to lead.
And parents listening to theirchildren.
So this program provides so manywonderful pieces for enriching
and strengthening the familyitself.
SPEAKER_00 (19:18):
And that parents, parents listening to the
children, because some parentsdon't listen.
SPEAKER_01 (19:24):
Do not listen.
There's one of the activities,um, particularly the child would
tell the parent, give the parentall the verbal instructions, and
you'd be surprised what it lookslike after the fact.
And so that that part oflistening, and you know what?
When parents say that that'smade them, that they don't jump
(19:46):
uh to conclusions, right?
The the the verbal pieces, thatthey're listening to what their
child has to say, that'scritical, and that's important
because children are not just tobe seen and not heard.
They are to be a part of afamily unit.
And um, you know, for lack of abetter way of saying this, you
know, people parent the way theythey were parented.
(20:10):
And whether it was good orwhether it was bad or whether it
was indifferent, but they've gotto be able to be placed in
different situations withdifferent and they say, you know
what, uh, we might that we mighthave done that in the past, but
that was not good.
So we're gonna come out heredoing some healthy things,
reward charts.
You know, it it's okay to givechildren rewards.
(20:32):
That's not spoiling a child, youknow.
SPEAKER_00 (20:34):
So yeah, um like you were saying, uh in our day,
parents are saying a child is tobe seen and not heard.
And there's still somesituations where children should
be seen and not heard, but inthis day and age, children have
(20:54):
to be heard because things areso different now.
SPEAKER_01 (20:59):
So different.
And like you said, even justeven when we understand this
program is a part of preventionof abuse and neglect as well.
SPEAKER_02 (21:08):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (21:08):
And to have that at the perspective, you know, uh,
you know, people say, what goeson in my house?
Stays in my house.
Stays in my house.
And then we we understand eventhe aspects of abuse, it's it's
not a stranger.
Most of the abuse is isinflicted by someone that
someone is known to the family.
So you want to ensure that thelevels of children know how to
(21:31):
communicate.
They feel safe to be able tocommunicate.
And and home should be the placeto create that level of
effective communication.
SPEAKER_00 (21:41):
Definitely, definitely.
So um these five protectivefactors, they are um they're
awesome uh because it talksabout providing parents concrete
support in time of need.
Yeah.
Yeah, because um sometimesparents are lost for uh for you
(22:05):
know, in some situations, theydon't know what to do, you know.
And so, so uh what type ofsupport can we say that
strengthening families offers?
SPEAKER_01 (22:14):
Yeah.
So even in terms of concretesupport in times of need,
specifically, if if your lightsare getting ready to get out, or
helping helping them to navigatethrough the system, who do you
contact?
Is it your local CAP agency?
You know, for example, inFlorence, um you even have like
Lighthouse Ministries, theSalvation Army, those helping
them because there are lots ofparents that sometimes by
(22:38):
circumstances, situationalissues may happen and a person
may fall and they don't knowwhere to turn to for help.
Whether it's a local church oror or individuals, where do you
turn to?
In fact, this past week we had asituation where we were trying
to navigate to help a family.
And and we know in terms ofwhat's just happening in the
country, a lot of people arewere being impacted, even if
(23:02):
turning for child care, thosetypes of things, to be able to
show people where they can go tofor food banks and those types
of things.
That's in terms of the concretesupport in time in time of need.
Um if you need help with yourlight bill, I think I said that
as well.
Utilities being able to provideresources to families specific
to help them if they need thosetypes of support.
(23:23):
And even specific during ourprogram with families, if
there's a need for gas, weprovide some gas cars for them
so that they can attend thesessions as well.
SPEAKER_00 (23:33):
Oh right, all right.
That and um like you said, whenum well, I guess the government
is back up now, I guess.
Uh I I sort of keep up with thenews sometimes, sometimes I
don't.
I've had a crazy day, so I keptup too well.
But um with the food stamp cardsnot being available, um, for
(23:59):
some families that right therewas a time that they that extra
support was needed for families.
SPEAKER_01 (24:07):
Yeah, and so even trying to navigate families
where we're in fact I gotsomething today over in um uh uh
someone sent something be at thegates uh at certain time, and I
think it's on a campus, thatfolk would be able to come
through and get food.
Wonderful.
And um, so we actually from ananother program that we manage,
um, we actually had um thisentity provided us with a
(24:32):
hundred dollars for one hundredpeople.
That's ten thousand dollars.
SPEAKER_02 (24:36):
Wow.
SPEAKER_01 (24:36):
So we had to navigate and put everything
together.
So, and what we also dosometimes for things provide
food boxes for the families thatare in our program.
Yes, yes.
And um the during the holidays,you know, we try to ensure that
the resources that we also havethat we provide them with other
things that they may need aswell.
SPEAKER_00 (24:53):
Mm-hmm.
Oh, they did that at the boysclub this week.
Um, they provided 400 food boxesfor the community, which I
thought was wonderful.
And like you said, PDCAP, theydo a lot of um different uh
offer a lot of services, uh uhutilities, Duke Energy and folks
of that nature.
So that yes, families do needthat, they need that support.
(25:18):
Now, I was looking on here aboutthe let's see, what was it?
The risk factors.
That's what I'm gonna talkabout.
Risk factors when it comes tofamily, family conflict and
things of that nature.
Let's talk about that.
Risk risk risk factors that umthat families may experience.
SPEAKER_01 (25:39):
And we c many times in terms of the adults, it's
called adverse childhood umexperiences, which are aces.
Oh yeah.
And so because fam sometimespeople don't realize they have
aces, you know, say, well, allof us have some aces.
Some are higher and some arelower, but everybody has some
(25:59):
level of risk factors.
And the risk factors may, ifthey're higher, then that means
some families may be prone ormay need more support in
different areas.
But for example, if it'salcohol, drugs, uh, violence,
those types of things, of youwant to make certain that when
we go through these programs, weacknowledge that these are
(26:20):
issues.
And with the new curriculum thatwe use, it does a level of
discuss a little more in depthas it relates to drug and
alcohol in contrast to the oldercurriculum that we were using.
So making certain that we bringthese things to the light, and
because we want to ensure thatchildren are in a safe place
(26:40):
that's practical, but we want toalso acknowledge that these are
real risk factors in life.
And um, that's why you know it'swith the program itself, all of
our family coaches, and that'swhat we refer to the staff that
implements the curriculum again,they're trained in the
curriculum so that they're insure they're delivering the
(27:01):
curriculum to the fidelity ofthe model.
And staff will always tell youthat I always talk about the
fidelity of the model because weare about lifting them, and it's
from a strengths-based approach.
Um, because if you don't addresssome of these issues, what we
do, we create a repetitive cycleand making certain that people
are aware.
And the point that you'retalking about, even for example,
(27:25):
if you take a leave a child, achild who gets off the bus and
goes home and stays home.
Back during my day, that wascalled a latch key kid.
But that's really a child isbeing left with a lack of
supervision.
And that's a risk factor.
SPEAKER_00 (27:38):
Yes, it is.
SPEAKER_01 (27:39):
Um you want to we want to ensure that even some of
our customs and some of ourtraditions, they may prevent
present some level of riskfactors as well.
But sometimes people don't talkabout those things.
So this it provides a safe spacefor families to be able to come.
The parents go into a sessionand they are able to share.
(28:01):
And then one good thing aboutthis new curriculum as well is
that they're able to see umprepared or custom-built
PowerPoints, but it's not to thepoint where the families are not
bringing something as a part ofthe curriculum's discussion.
And then the children are alsobeing presented with the same
(28:22):
topic as their parents, but attheir developmental age.
Particularly, we do a sessionfor the teens, and we also do
one for 6 to 11.
And this curriculum also has apreschool three to five.
So you you've got all aspects ofthe family being able to be
presented.
With Children's Trust, who isour funder for this program
(28:43):
here, specifically 6 to 17, iswho we actually provide the
direct curriculum for, then webring them back together for the
family skills session, thechildren 6 to 17.
So that brings a larger scope ofthe family together doing the
family skills so they're able tolook at those issues and they'll
(29:03):
talk about those things toenhance and to strengthen their
family.
SPEAKER_00 (29:07):
So they'll be able to work through maybe some
issues and situations that theyhave.
SPEAKER_01 (29:12):
Exactly.
And then when they come back andthe mom said, You know, what I
used to fuss about, I don't dothat anymore now.
We got a rewards chart.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, if you don't do this, allright, then that's what that
means.
You don't get to do that.
And then family meetings, whichare a very, very important part.
And I go back to that childrenbeing seen and not heard.
SPEAKER_02 (29:32):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (29:32):
Okay.
Well, you have a family meeting,you discuss, and you know, some
children are incorrigible andsome children can be a
challenge.
Yes.
But but you've got to lay thefoundation.
Now, and I'm not saying thatthis starts out on night one.
No, it takes some work and ittakes some practice.
So if you meet them for 11 weeksand then, or if you meet them
(29:53):
for five weeks, five and a halfweeks, but if they're meeting
twice a week, that means you'vegot to you've got to be
persistent.
With your practice, with usingthe skills.
And that's what this is askills-based program.
It is not a therapeutic program.
It is not therapy.
It is a skills-based program.
Now, it may have some aspect,but it is not meant to be
(30:18):
therapy.
It is not therapy.
It is not counseling.
It is a parenting skills-basedprogram.
So I want to make certain thatthat's you know that's really
clear and then following thatfidelity.
SPEAKER_00 (30:27):
Yeah, yeah, that's hands-on.
A hands-on situation.
And that's what, you know,that's what's needed.
I know therapeutic is good andit has its way, you know, but um
that had nothing beats thathands-on skills.
And then in doing that andbringing that family together,
then that bonding factor comesin.
SPEAKER_01 (30:50):
Spending that time with spending that time, because
I tell you when you seefamilies, and sometimes um, you
know, now I realize I'm I'mworking so hard to try to put
food on the table, pay the lightbill, pay the water bill or the
gas bill, take care of theutilities, all the other things
(31:10):
that go along with parenting.
SPEAKER_00 (31:12):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (31:12):
But I don't want to miss the bonding time.
And I like to always say this,you got one time to nurture.
And if you don't do thenurturing, it costs down the
road.
Oh, yeah.
So, but guess what?
But as long as they're stillunder your roof, you got time to
for that bonding and thatnurturing.
(31:33):
So, and then when parents talkabout when they've gone through
this program, you know, Irealize I was doing all the
screaming and hollering becauseguess what?
I hadn't bonded with my child.
So, and that's self-revelation.
That nobody has to tell youthat.
Right.
And um, so coming in, pullingthat, and then also parents
(31:54):
understanding the importancethat we've got to monitor our
children.
SPEAKER_00 (31:57):
Oh, yes.
SPEAKER_01 (31:59):
You know, some people let kids go in and just
watch TV or what listen to allkinds of crazy music.
Exactly.
And then we say, well, you know,some so being able to
incorporate that into yourfamily, those are skills that
families need.
You know, a lot of times peoplesay, Well, you know, the world's
this, well, the world's onlymade up of and it's only a
reflection of the other peoplein our community.
(32:20):
And so strengthening families,in my opinion, is good for any
community, any grandmama, youlook, you can come through with
your grandbabies.
Anybody, all of us, you look,even my wife and my oldest
child, they went through, not myoldest child, but my youngest
child at that time, the 6'11,and it made, and that was my
introvert child.
(32:42):
And I mean, in terms of, but shecan tell you those rewards and
those types of things made adifference.
So, you know, and it's bonding,and that's what I I believe, I
believe in this program.
You know, I in terms of thefamily time for meal time,
sitting down, Sunday dinnerduring the week, that's that
should be a practice.
And you know, and we know thatsome families, uh some parents,
(33:05):
they work during the day.
So a lot, but you need tointent, be intentional about
setting some time for that.
SPEAKER_00 (33:12):
I was about to talk, I was about to ask you about
time management, because, like,for instance, I left home this
morning at 8 o'clock, and Ihaven't been back home yet.
And it's 12 hours, it's alreadygone by.
SPEAKER_01 (33:26):
Long time.
So guess what?
When you get ready to do thatbreakfast in the morning, even
if you don't sit down and justeat the grits.
But you know, I'm just we but wefind some level of being
intentional to make certain thatwe plant.
And even letting the kids helpset the menu.
Giving them, you know, when Icame up, whatever grandmama
(33:48):
cooked, that was it.
That was it.
But you know what differencedoes it make?
Okay, and then that also letthem be a part of preparation of
the meal.
When we came, oh you're gonnaplay in their kitchen, but that
but those are also skills thatthe children are developing.
And we're going back again.
Kids are not just to be seen andnot heard.
(34:11):
Yeah, yeah.
Just so you're seen and notheard, not seen, uh, we we want
to develop some skills with withour children.
SPEAKER_00 (34:20):
Yeah, like we said earlier, it's it's a different
day and age now.
Different day and age.
I tell you, um, so about howmany graduations um with all do
you have within the countieseach year?
Okay.
In each county.
SPEAKER_01 (34:37):
Typically we are funded about 11 to 12 cycles,
and that's basically two.
Um, but we've been fortunatethat our philosophy is we try to
be good stewards with the fundsthat we've gotten.
This year we will haveimplemented 17 cycles.
SPEAKER_02 (34:56):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (34:57):
Um, so that roughly means, and we've our staff has
done an excellent job.
Two things are that's importantrecruitment and retention.
And the retention is where youshoot to ensure that you
graduate at least 10 to 12families.
And for example, um there's outof the groups that are
(35:19):
graduating now, um, we arerunning seven cycles.
And there's only one group atthis junction now, and they the
staff has tried everything toretain, but there was a change
in the the young ladies' workschedule, and the the man of the
house is not coming to the nextlevel to help.
(35:39):
So they will be the only groupout of these this group that
will graduate 11.
SPEAKER_00 (35:45):
Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01 (35:45):
Everybody else is on target for their 12.
And it's hard work to try tomake certain that you you stay
in contact and communicationwith people.
Right.
If there are barriers orsomething changes, or if you
need to try to get somebody elseto make certain that the family
still graduates.
And grandmama can participatewith them.
Uh, aunt or uncle canparticipate to ensure that the
(36:06):
family um graduates on time.
SPEAKER_00 (36:08):
Okay, all right.
Well, um our viewers would needto know that the strengthening
families program is offered hereat Savannah Grove Baptist
Church.
Um, Elder Pipkins um directsthat here at the church.
And so um you said we'll startone up possibly in this frame?
SPEAKER_01 (36:32):
I think we're supposed to be back here in in
February, and um we just becausewe were here in we were here in
the spring of the year.
Okay.
Spring 25, so we're supposed tobe back.
Um we uh finished up, we wereover at New Ebenezer.
SPEAKER_00 (36:46):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (36:46):
And um, so they hosted two there, and well, we
got one that's finished up.
So we're supposed to be backhere, and um, Reverend, in fact,
I will say this as well beforethe pandemic, um, Pastor Canton
also was instrumental withhelping us to get into the
Savannah Grove community.
And I don't know if you rememberor not, when we we had one over
at the Savannah Grove ElementarySchool.
(37:07):
I remember.
And uh, in fact, several of umSavannah Grove parishioners
actually volunteered and umhelped us in terms of
recruitment.
And um, I is I can't think ofthe young lady's name, but um,
she was very, very uminstrumental with with coming in
and providing support with usfrom the community as well.
SPEAKER_00 (37:26):
Great, great.
I remember Dr.
Singletary was there for thegraduation, I believe.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Wonderful.
So um if they want toparticipate in the engagement
program on in February, how dothey do that?
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (37:42):
Well, I know we've had some flyers to be here at
the church as well, but they cancontact the Lee County First
Steps office, 803-484-5110,803-484-5110, and um talk to any
of our staff members.
Um they can also um go online umand look children's trust, and
they can do a um referral formand complete that, and then
(38:05):
that'll come directly to us aswell.
Um, but all the easiest wayalways is direct mount, they can
call us and we'll make sure wetake the intake and then get
them ready, sign them, put themon the waiting list and move
right on in.
All right, all right.
SPEAKER_00 (38:20):
That's great, that's great.
So this is wonderful.
SPEAKER_01 (38:24):
We just um is there anything else that we missed
when it comes to that the thatour um viewers need to know when
it comes to I I think the piecethat you just hit really in
terms of for the StrengtheningFamilies program, even though we
have staff that help, it'salways good to have volunteers,
um, men groups um fact um canalways be a part.
(38:48):
And what we started doing in allthe areas as well to show
collaboration, communitypartnership.
Um each of the um cycles for twoof the meals, um, they get
community partners to actuallyprovide that level of support.
Wonderful.
And um, so some it's a simplemeal, even hot dogs, or some,
you know, they can make contactand then they can also come in
(39:11):
and be volunteers becausethere's always opportunity and
room for volunteers to providesupport for other things that
that we do.
And um, we are big in terms oftrying to provide support and
services.
And as I said, once the programis over, that's not the end
because they have connected andthey've made life-lasting
(39:31):
relationships.
Um, as I was saying to you, evenum even reflecting upon with um
individuals that I know, onceit's over with, they maintain
relationships with their familycoaches.
And those relationships becomefamilieship.
And that's really what the wholegoal is, that you you've got
some connection and the pointthat you and the protective
(39:53):
factor, knowing where to genderfor help and those concrete
supports in times of need,knowledge of child development,
the parenting, because it takesa village, and that's really
what the strength and familiesprogram is really all about.
SPEAKER_00 (40:07):
Yes, it takes a village, it does.
Well, thank you ever so much forjoining us here today.
This has been very enlightening.
Um, I've heard a lot about thestrength and families program,
but this is the first time thatI've really had the chance to
sit down with you and to uh andyou explain all the different
(40:27):
entities and factors that comewith this program.
And there's one at Community UmAction Partnership.
I think they serve Marion Countyin that way.
SPEAKER_01 (40:36):
Um, PD Cap, they serve Marion and they also serve
uh Dillon County.
Okay.
And then Lighthouse Ministrieshere in Florence, they also
provide the Strength and theFamilies program.
And our relationship has beenthat because we're pretty much
our area has been rural, so weserve the rural portion, but we
don't have any conflict in termsof relate, we do referrals to
(40:59):
them and they do referrals to usas well.
Okay.
Um, in fact, in the county,we've been in Timminsville,
we've been in Lake City.
In fact, we finished a couple ofweeks ago down in Lake City.
So what but we've kept ourprogram pretty much mobile in
different locations as well.
Right.
If someone says they want us,we've been in churches, boys and
girls club.
Um, so that there's just been arelationship.
SPEAKER_00 (41:21):
Good, good, good.
Well, I'm glad that people aretaking it um advantage of your
services, and perfectly more ofyou will take advantage of the
services of the strengtheningfamilies program.
Um the first steps, Lee County.
Yeah.
Yes, and tell them though thatage group eligibility again.
SPEAKER_01 (41:39):
The age group eligibility is six to seventeen,
but the whole family has theopportunity to come because we
provide child care, uh, thesethe children's group, and then
the teens group.
And um, we've just beenfortunate that that we're also
doing a collaboration that weare able to do preschool.
We'll be specifically targetingpreschool in um Lee and Sumter
(42:03):
Counties.
SPEAKER_00 (42:04):
Wonderful, wonderful.
So, yeah, that's the entirefamily.
SPEAKER_01 (42:08):
Entire family.
And the good thing about it isthat during those nights that
the session meets, you don'thave to cook.
And they get incentives.
Um then at graduation, wenormally get a hundred dollar
gift card for participating atgraduation, and each night they
get incentives as well.
SPEAKER_00 (42:27):
Wow.
Well, that's wonderful, that'swonderful.
Well, thank you so much forjoining us on this evening.
And uh we open our doors for youto come back again.
Okay, well right, especiallyespecially once that program
begins here in February, youknow, uh, so that we'll know um
exactly what's going on and andhow people can participate if
(42:49):
you need volunteers, okay,things of that nature.
SPEAKER_01 (42:52):
All right, well, we'll be ready, and then our
side coordinator was over herewas um Danielle Boyden.
She did an exceptional jobconnecting as well.
SPEAKER_00 (42:59):
Yes, yes.
I think I did meet her on oneoccasion while she was here.
All right, well, thanks again.
unknown (43:05):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (43:06):
All right, everyone.
Thank you ever so much for uhbeing with us on today.
I'm Jocelia Williams sitting infor Reverend Dr.
Ralph WCanty and Native Drumshere at the Savannah Grove
Baptist Church.
Have a beautiful and blessedevening.
Hello everyone.
This is Joe Silia and welcome toNative Jumps.
I'm sitting in for Reverend Dr.
Ralph Telpha McCanti on thisevening.
And our guest today is Mr.
Alexis Pipkins.
Reverend Elder.
Elder, thank you.
Elder Alexis Pipkins.
And he's the director of theStrengthening Families Program,
(00:29):
which is a very much neededprogram for this day and age.
So the first steps of LeeCounty.
All right, yes.
First steps of Lee County.
I remember going to a banquet.
Oh, there were a lot of amazingstories at that banquet.
That was a great thing, butwelcome.
(00:50):
I'm on another street.
Welcome, Alexis.
SPEAKER_01 (00:55):
Welcome, good.
Good to be here.
Welcome, welcome.
Received.
SPEAKER_00 (00:58):
Yes, it's great to have you.
Now, the Strengthening Familiesprogram, I saw, you gave me some
history.
Let's talk about some historyand and um when it was founded
and and how the the and when umit reached Lee County.
Because you serve um Lee County,Florence County, uh, what was
(01:20):
it, Darlington County, WillsburgCounty, Sumter.
And Sumter.
That was a lot of counties, alot of work.
Yeah, so give us a littlebackground on first on um
Strengthening Families, theStrength and Families program.
SPEAKER_01 (01:34):
Well for Lee County First Steps, uh, which is our
our agency, our beginning withStrengthening the Family
actually prior to the umChildren's Trust grant, which we
are actually implemented in thecounties, which you mentioned,
um which began in 2013.
SPEAKER_00 (01:49):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (01:50):
Um we actually were implementing it with our adult
ed in Lee County at the time,and then director came to us in
terms of trying to find aparenting program that we would
be able to provide support andservices, which is what we call
parent and child time.
And so the StrengtheningFamilies program was the program
that we selected, and we alsohad individuals throughout the
(02:12):
region and the state who cameand were also trained in the
curriculum, and that providedour segue into the strengthening
families program.
And then a few years later, umthe Children's Trust opened up a
grant opportunity that weactually applied for, and um we
were part of the second win ofthe first year of the Children's
(02:35):
Trust implementing the programin 2012.
So and this is 2025, and ourexpansion has grown from just
little old Lee County, and thenwe went from Lee to Darlington,
uh Florence, Sumter,Williamsburg, and back to
Darlington again.
So it's a powerful program interms of providing support and
(02:58):
services to parents andchildren.
SPEAKER_00 (03:00):
That's awesome.
And like I said, that you haveum many counties, so that's a
lot of work.
You have a great staff, I'msure, that handles that helps
you.
SPEAKER_01 (03:11):
Yeah, we've got a great team.
Um, I have two program managers,um, Miss Mamie uh McKay and Miss
Bessie Sanders Gordon.
Um both of we split the countiesup and then we work with uh site
coordinators in each of theareas.
And a part of our role and hasbeen to ensure that we've
developed capacity.
And when I say capacity with thesite coordinators, we are
(03:34):
developing other leaders who cantake on leadership roles in
terms of managing the sitesbecause the site coordinators
play a pivotal role in terms ofrecruiting uh staff, also
recruiting families, and alsomaking connections with the
local communities.
So one of our tasks has been inthe five counties that we're in,
also trying to grow staff, andthese individuals work serve as
(03:57):
independent contractors orconsultants with us, and they
make a world of a difference interms of making sure that the
fidelity of the curriculum isfollowed at all times, and also
ensuring that families, anybarriers that they have, they
provide those barriers to us sothat we can eliminate barriers
to ensure that families canactively engage in the program
(04:18):
during the 11 nights that are 11sessions at this time.
SPEAKER_00 (04:22):
Oh, okay, okay.
So, how um do what's the processfor families to be a part of
this program?
SPEAKER_01 (04:30):
Uh the process really, any family can benefit
from strengthening family.
So that Miss Norma, we want tomake certain we throw out that
it's only for certain people,understanding that the the crux
of the program was developedaround terms of people say,
Well, you know, maybe this groupor that group, that's not the
case because all families havesome type of aces or some type
(04:53):
of issues, or all families alsocome with strengths.
And because of that, we engageanyone if they have a child
that's age six to seventeen.
So I like to make sure that wethrow that out there.
Okay.
That is the prima donna or thethe uh the requirement that
you've got to have anage-eligible child, okay.
(05:14):
Age six to seventeen, and it canbe the parent, the grandparent,
the aunt or uncle, the personthat is involved in the child's
life, it can be a cousin, andthey come and they participate
with the child during those 11sessions.
And um in several of thecounties, um, some meet once a
week, some meet twice a week.
(05:36):
So depending on what the staffdecide in the local community,
they will meet over thoseperiods, but they have to meet
for 11 sessions.
Okay.
And after it's not where peoplecan roll in after night four,
after night three, thatsolidifies the group.
That is that that group thatwill make up what we call a
(05:56):
cycle.
SPEAKER_02 (05:56):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (05:57):
And they will attend and participate um throughout
the course of the eleven cycles.
And um all each cycle starts,number the first thing that
starts out with is the meal.
Then the parents go to asession, then the children go to
a session, and then they comeback to what's called the family
skills.
Okay.
And that's the piece where theyactually take to practice the
(06:18):
skills that they have gainedfrom the evening session that we
want to ensure that they exitand that they will retain those
types of skills to make thistheir family stronger and much
more effective.
SPEAKER_00 (06:28):
Oh, that's wonderful.
That's wonderful.
Is it difficult to get families?
SPEAKER_01 (06:32):
Uh it is not all in some communities.
There may, I don't like to saydifficult, right?
But there are challenges thatmay be presented.
And for for example, sometimeswhen some a family may start a
program, uh the parent workschedule may not may be one way,
but then once they get started,it may change.
So what we always try to do withwhen they have those types of
(06:55):
difficult issues or if they havechallenges, what we try to do is
encourage families to havesomeone else to be a part of
your family as well, so that thefamily can still complete the
program.
And one of the um challengessometimes that's presented to us
is getting men involved.
So, what um we've put before us,because our funds are all we
(07:16):
want to see more male involved,and men also bring a lot of
richness to the conversationsand discussions as they cover
the curriculum, that we putadditional incentives in place
for men to participate.
And um, in fact, tonight we hada graduation and down in um King
Street, and as I was making mycomments to them, I said I
(07:38):
acknowledged the two men thatwere that had graduated with
their families.
So the piece in terms of thechallenges or difficulties that
may present it, we try to ensurethat staff we come together and
do some SWOT analysis to ensurethat we eliminate those types of
barriers.
Transportation in some locationsmay become an issue.
(07:58):
Um, one of my earliest umremembrances when we started um
strengthening families, we wentto down to Lynchburg and um
church, we were actually at achurch in the community, and
when we planned, we planned inmind that we're in rural
Lynchburg and we were planningthat we need to ensure that we
had transportation, and one ofthe churches had a van, and the
(08:21):
church had provided theutilization of their van and the
uniqueness of what the familysaid, we're glad to have this
program, and you know what?
We were carpooled, so that endedup becoming a value add.
So what we initially thought wasa barrier ended up not being a
barrier.
So every community has its ownunique opportunities, and so
(08:44):
that's why when the uh sitecoordinators and the family
coaches is what we call theindividuals who provide the
instruction and support for thesessions, they engage them and
they provide during their weekduring their evening wrap up the
information so that we canensure that whatever they need
to eliminate barriers, thatwe'll provide those things.
(09:05):
And so sometimes we have toprovide cabs in Lee County.
Um we also collaborate even withour local transit.
So we we find unique ways andtry to find partners, or even
churches that provide support aswell.
And you just there are peopleout here that are willing to
provide those types of supportand services to make things
happen for the community.
SPEAKER_00 (09:26):
That's great.
That's great.
I'll tell you what, it soundslike it's a really great
program.
There should be a waiting list.
Well, there should be a waitinglist.
SPEAKER_01 (09:36):
In in some communities, we have longer we
always the philosophy is whenour program ends, we're supposed
to have a waiting list.
Okay.
So that also um establishes withour funder that we have people
that are ready.
SPEAKER_00 (09:50):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (09:51):
And now of course, sometimes what happens is the
point that you said that oncethe um we get ready to start
that night one, and then whenthe site coordinator makes
contact, say, well, my workschedule has changed, my
family's changed, or we may havemoved out of one area, and that
may not fit that time.
Um as I'm reflecting, we we'recoming down to some graduations.
(10:12):
Um last week, um, one of thegroups that finished, um, one of
the young ladies had startedwith one group, but she didn't
graduate.
And so um one of the familycoaches said the young lady
called and said she wanted tocome back through the program.
So their team's discussion waswell, this person had gotten so
close, right, and we had a lotof services that we actually had
(10:34):
provided transportation for thisperson.
And she said she didn't want tofinish.
And um even in terms of Iactually sent a staff person to
the home to knock on the door,but she did they're not so so
from from the the administrativeend, someone would say, Well,
why would you want to still comeback after that person?
(10:55):
Well, guess what?
We the staff said, Well,everybody deserves a second
chance.
SPEAKER_00 (11:00):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (11:01):
And that mother and her child completed the program.
And not not only did the ch theycomplete the program, but for
their graduation, she actuallywas the person at MC'd.
So it's about families.
You know, we we sometimes peoplewrite families off, uh, write
individuals in their family off,but that's not what we should be
(11:22):
about.
It's about strengthening thefamily.
There you go.
So by ensuring that for the sakeof her coming back through when
she didn't complete, this issomething now she and her family
they completed together.
So you just you we never knowwhat things happen in people's
lives.
SPEAKER_00 (11:39):
That's right, that's right, that's right.
That's a great story for her tocome back and to make sure that,
to have that passion to comeback, you know.
So the foundation of thestrengthening families program
is based upon five protectivefactors.
So let's talk about thosefactors of the enhancing of
(11:59):
parental resilience, providingan array of social connections,
providing parents concretesupport in times of need, and
facilitating knowledge ofparenting and child development,
as well as supporting healthysocial and emotional development
in young children.
So that parental resilience,let's start there.
(12:22):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (12:22):
Um, with parental resilience, you know, in life,
all of us have issues andchallenges.
SPEAKER_00 (12:28):
Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (12:29):
And sometimes with some families, when they go
through issues, they feel likethere's no hope.
And so the resilience piece, andI some people like to describe
it as like a basketball.
You know, when life happens, itgoes up, comes down, goes up,
and it comes back down.
But with resilience, you developthe skills that when you go
(12:49):
through experiences in life,this is not the end.
Yes, yes, yes.
This is not the end.
And the the up, the array of theother protective facts, because
the curriculum is rooted andgrounded in the five protective
factors, it gives the familymembers, from the parent to the
child, the ability to understandthat it's about protecting your
(13:10):
family.
You guard your family, butyou've got to have some skills
in terms of the pro-socialcomponents that makes your
family stronger.
And one good thing about thiscurriculum, and when I say it as
a curriculum, because thefamilies, when they come
together, they come and theyshare and they pour into each
(13:31):
other.
And when they pour into eachother, guess what?
I don't care whether or not youare on a hundred thousand
dollars or whether you maketwenty thousand dollars.
We all are parents and we're allon the same playing field.
And you know what?
You might have thought that youwere the only one going through
this, and then guess what?
She going, he's going throughthe same thing that I'm going
(13:54):
through.
So sometimes parents need to beable to listen to others to know
that you know what, this is notthe end of the world.
And you know, sometimes what youthought if a child breaks
something that, hey, that's no,that's not the end of the world.
That's just something thathappened.
You know what?
I can buy something else toreplace it.
And also being able to havestrategies as it relates to
discipline.
(14:14):
You know, lots of familiessometimes they discipline, like
their parents or theirgrandparents, discipline.
A lot of parents did a lot ofhollering or screaming, uh, a
lot of corporal or physicalpunishment.
And because parents did notalways have other skills and
tools.
One good thing about thisprogram in terms of with
families, the parent and thechild, they come together during
(14:37):
that family, during that familytime.
And you're working on skills.
Uh, for example, one of myfavorite ones is the spinner
game in terms of being able tounderstand that discipline is
not just negative, disciplinealso has a positive approach.
But if you have never had theopportunity to have some level
of instruction and then also toengage your child in the
(15:00):
process, then old people used tosay like this, whatever I see is
it.
Children are to be what?
Seen and not heard.
And if that is a philosophy thathas been transferred to one
generation to anothergeneration, and we call that a
two-gen approach, when you don'tunderstand that you've got to be
know how to engage.
(15:20):
And you from the faith-basedcomponents is train up a child
in the way he should go.
Training is teaching, but youcan't teach that which you don't
know to teach.
So because we are parents, thatdon't mean we have that we get
it right all the time.
So those understanding thosefive protective factors as a
(15:41):
parent and also ensuring thatyour child also understands it
brings a commonality togetherwhere you're able to interact
and to relate with your child.
And SFP is a is an effective wayto put these practical skills
into practice.
And when they do have thatfamily time, they practice.
And then they have home practicewhere they're able to practice
(16:04):
again.
And then they come back and thenthey share it.
And then that next week whenthey come back over that meal
time, then what the familycoaches do, they circulate
throughout.
Hey, how did things go?
Did you do your home practice?
How was it?
And they talk about it.
So it lays a foundation ofpracticing not just theory, but
this is practicing what you get.
(16:26):
And one beautiful thing aboutthis is that later we do what's
called the booster session.
I call it the family reunion.
Nine days after the program isover, they come back.
SPEAKER_02 (16:35):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (16:36):
And they talk about the skills that they continue to
do.
And so that is always refreshingto us.
And we do a lot of differentcreative things in the different
counties as well.
SPEAKER_00 (16:44):
Now, earlier we were talking about the table.
Yep.
The table.
And that's something thatdoesn't happen like it used to.
Um eating dinner together.
And so let's talk about that,that connection at the table and
making sure you have a table inyour home, you said.
SPEAKER_01 (17:03):
Yep.
And the first part of theStrengthening Families program,
and I I guess you can tell I'vegot a few little pounds on me.
So the meal time is veryimportant because I believe that
the the meal time is you youwant to ensure that the menu is
right.
Right.
You want to make sure that theambience or the atmosphere is
(17:26):
right.
And when families sit down, andwe try to with the program, we
also get input from the familieswhat to include on our menus.
And that's their time forinteraction, that's their time
for sharing.
But you've got to also ensurethat families have a structure
so that they know how tocommunicate.
It's not we just come in, eat,and talk about anything.
(17:49):
It is structured around thecurriculum itself.
And the meal time, as we weretalking about the table, we've
learned that a lot of familiesdon't have a table.
SPEAKER_00 (17:58):
Don't have a table.
SPEAKER_01 (17:59):
Don't sit down at, you know, I my grandmama when
she when I got out of school andgot home by four by four
o'clock, guess what we weredoing?
We were sitting in the kitchenat the table, eating dinner,
sitting down talking, how wasthe day?
What went on during the day.
That's right.
Anything happened, I need toknow.
And then on Sundays, we sat inthe dining room table at the
(18:22):
dining room table.
That was a part, but that levelof communication and skills that
I that I've ascertained, I'velearned that a lot of our young
people, they don't have that.
And so the parents don't.
So when we've had families to gothrough the program, and when
they graduate, and when a childsays, well, because of us going
through this program, my mamabought a table.
(18:42):
My daddy, they we got a tablethat we sit down and we have
meals.
Because a lot of families,particularly who may drive, they
they drive and eat on the gofrom the restaurants, and they
don't sit down.
But it is important thatfamilies sit down and have that
bonding time.
And then they also can do gameswith because one part of the
(19:04):
program, they do child's game,parent game, and they're able to
decide who's going to lead.
And parents listening to theirchildren.
So this program provides so manywonderful pieces for enriching
and strengthening the familyitself.
SPEAKER_00 (19:18):
And that parents, parents listening to the
children, because some parentsdon't listen.
SPEAKER_01 (19:24):
Do not listen.
There's one of the activities,um, particularly the child would
tell the parent, give the parentall the verbal instructions, and
you'd be surprised what it lookslike after the fact.
And so that that part oflistening, and you know what?
When parents say that that'smade them, that they don't jump
(19:46):
uh to conclusions, right?
The the the verbal pieces, thatthey're listening to what their
child has to say, that'scritical, and that's important
because children are not just tobe seen and not heard.
They are to be a part of afamily unit.
And um, you know, for lack of abetter way of saying this, you
know, people parent the way theythey were parented.
(20:10):
And whether it was good orwhether it was bad or whether it
was indifferent, but they've gotto be able to be placed in
different situations withdifferent and they say, you know
what, uh, we might that we mighthave done that in the past, but
that was not good.
So we're gonna come out heredoing some healthy things,
reward charts.
You know, it it's okay to givechildren rewards.
(20:32):
That's not spoiling a child, youknow.
SPEAKER_00 (20:34):
So yeah, um like you were saying, uh in our day,
parents are saying a child is tobe seen and not heard.
And there's still somesituations where children should
be seen and not heard, but inthis day and age, children have
(20:54):
to be heard because things areso different now.
SPEAKER_01 (20:59):
So different.
And like you said, even justeven when we understand this
program is a part of preventionof abuse and neglect as well.
SPEAKER_02 (21:08):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (21:08):
And to have that at the perspective, you know, uh,
you know, people say, what goeson in my house?
Stays in my house.
Stays in my house.
And then we we understand eventhe aspects of abuse, it's it's
not a stranger.
Most of the abuse is isinflicted by someone that
someone is known to the family.
So you want to ensure that thelevels of children know how to
(21:31):
communicate.
They feel safe to be able tocommunicate.
And and home should be the placeto create that level of
effective communication.
SPEAKER_00 (21:41):
Definitely, definitely.
So um these five protectivefactors, they are um they're
awesome uh because it talksabout providing parents concrete
support in time of need.
Yeah.
Yeah, because um sometimesparents are lost for uh for you
(22:05):
know, in some situations, theydon't know what to do, you know.
And so, so uh what type ofsupport can we say that
strengthening families offers?
SPEAKER_01 (22:14):
Yeah.
So even in terms of concretesupport in times of need,
specifically, if if your lightsare getting ready to get out, or
helping helping them to navigatethrough the system, who do you
contact?
Is it your local CAP agency?
You know, for example, inFlorence, um you even have like
Lighthouse Ministries, theSalvation Army, those helping
them because there are lots ofparents that sometimes by
(22:38):
circumstances, situationalissues may happen and a person
may fall and they don't knowwhere to turn to for help.
Whether it's a local church oror or individuals, where do you
turn to?
In fact, this past week we had asituation where we were trying
to navigate to help a family.
And and we know in terms ofwhat's just happening in the
country, a lot of people arewere being impacted, even if
(23:02):
turning for child care, thosetypes of things, to be able to
show people where they can go tofor food banks and those types
of things.
That's in terms of the concretesupport in time in time of need.
Um if you need help with yourlight bill, I think I said that
as well.
Utilities being able to provideresources to families specific
to help them if they need thosetypes of support.
(23:23):
And even specific during ourprogram with families, if
there's a need for gas, weprovide some gas cars for them
so that they can attend thesessions as well.
SPEAKER_00 (23:33):
Oh right, all right.
That and um like you said, whenum well, I guess the government
is back up now, I guess.
Uh I I sort of keep up with thenews sometimes, sometimes I
don't.
I've had a crazy day, so I keptup too well.
But um with the food stamp cardsnot being available, um, for
(23:59):
some families that right therewas a time that they that extra
support was needed for families.
SPEAKER_01 (24:07):
Yeah, and so even trying to navigate families
where we're in fact I gotsomething today over in um uh uh
someone sent something be at thegates uh at certain time, and I
think it's on a campus, thatfolk would be able to come
through and get food.
Wonderful.
And um, so we actually from ananother program that we manage,
um, we actually had um thisentity provided us with a
(24:32):
hundred dollars for one hundredpeople.
That's ten thousand dollars.
SPEAKER_02 (24:36):
Wow.
SPEAKER_01 (24:36):
So we had to navigate and put everything
together.
So, and what we also dosometimes for things provide
food boxes for the families thatare in our program.
Yes, yes.
And um the during the holidays,you know, we try to ensure that
the resources that we also havethat we provide them with other
things that they may need aswell.
SPEAKER_00 (24:53):
Mm-hmm.
Oh, they did that at the boysclub this week.
Um, they provided 400 food boxesfor the community, which I
thought was wonderful.
And like you said, PDCAP, theydo a lot of um different uh
offer a lot of services, uh uhutilities, Duke Energy and folks
of that nature.
So that yes, families do needthat, they need that support.
(25:18):
Now, I was looking on here aboutthe let's see, what was it?
The risk factors.
That's what I'm gonna talkabout.
Risk factors when it comes tofamily, family conflict and
things of that nature.
Let's talk about that.
Risk risk risk factors that umthat families may experience.
SPEAKER_01 (25:39):
And we c many times in terms of the adults, it's
called adverse childhood umexperiences, which are aces.
Oh yeah.
And so because fam sometimespeople don't realize they have
aces, you know, say, well, allof us have some aces.
Some are higher and some arelower, but everybody has some
(25:59):
level of risk factors.
And the risk factors may, ifthey're higher, then that means
some families may be prone ormay need more support in
different areas.
But for example, if it'salcohol, drugs, uh, violence,
those types of things, of youwant to make certain that when
we go through these programs, weacknowledge that these are
(26:20):
issues.
And with the new curriculum thatwe use, it does a level of
discuss a little more in depthas it relates to drug and
alcohol in contrast to the oldercurriculum that we were using.
So making certain that we bringthese things to the light, and
because we want to ensure thatchildren are in a safe place
(26:40):
that's practical, but we want toalso acknowledge that these are
real risk factors in life.
And um, that's why you know it'swith the program itself, all of
our family coaches, and that'swhat we refer to the staff that
implements the curriculum again,they're trained in the
curriculum so that they're insure they're delivering the
(27:01):
curriculum to the fidelity ofthe model.
And staff will always tell youthat I always talk about the
fidelity of the model because weare about lifting them, and it's
from a strengths-based approach.
Um, because if you don't addresssome of these issues, what we
do, we create a repetitive cycleand making certain that people
are aware.
And the point that you'retalking about, even for example,
(27:25):
if you take a leave a child, achild who gets off the bus and
goes home and stays home.
Back during my day, that wascalled a latch key kid.
But that's really a child isbeing left with a lack of
supervision.
And that's a risk factor.
SPEAKER_00 (27:38):
Yes, it is.
SPEAKER_01 (27:39):
Um you want to we want to ensure that even some of
our customs and some of ourtraditions, they may prevent
present some level of riskfactors as well.
But sometimes people don't talkabout those things.
So this it provides a safe spacefor families to be able to come.
The parents go into a sessionand they are able to share.
(28:01):
And then one good thing aboutthis new curriculum as well is
that they're able to see umprepared or custom-built
PowerPoints, but it's not to thepoint where the families are not
bringing something as a part ofthe curriculum's discussion.
And then the children are alsobeing presented with the same
(28:22):
topic as their parents, but attheir developmental age.
Particularly, we do a sessionfor the teens, and we also do
one for 6 to 11.
And this curriculum also has apreschool three to five.
So you you've got all aspects ofthe family being able to be
presented.
With Children's Trust, who isour funder for this program
(28:43):
here, specifically 6 to 17, iswho we actually provide the
direct curriculum for, then webring them back together for the
family skills session, thechildren 6 to 17.
So that brings a larger scope ofthe family together doing the
family skills so they're able tolook at those issues and they'll
(29:03):
talk about those things toenhance and to strengthen their
family.
SPEAKER_00 (29:07):
So they'll be able to work through maybe some
issues and situations that theyhave.
SPEAKER_01 (29:12):
Exactly.
And then when they come back andthe mom said, You know, what I
used to fuss about, I don't dothat anymore now.
We got a rewards chart.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, if you don't do this, allright, then that's what that
means.
You don't get to do that.
And then family meetings, whichare a very, very important part.
And I go back to that childrenbeing seen and not heard.
SPEAKER_02 (29:32):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (29:32):
Okay.
Well, you have a family meeting,you discuss, and you know, some
children are incorrigible andsome children can be a
challenge.
Yes.
But but you've got to lay thefoundation.
Now, and I'm not saying thatthis starts out on night one.
No, it takes some work and ittakes some practice.
So if you meet them for 11 weeksand then, or if you meet them
(29:53):
for five weeks, five and a halfweeks, but if they're meeting
twice a week, that means you'vegot to you've got to be
persistent.
With your practice, with usingthe skills.
And that's what this is askills-based program.
It is not a therapeutic program.
It is not therapy.
It is a skills-based program.
Now, it may have some aspect,but it is not meant to be
(30:18):
therapy.
It is not therapy.
It is not counseling.
It is a parenting skills-basedprogram.
So I want to make certain thatthat's you know that's really
clear and then following thatfidelity.
SPEAKER_00 (30:27):
Yeah, yeah, that's hands-on.
A hands-on situation.
And that's what, you know,that's what's needed.
I know therapeutic is good andit has its way, you know, but um
that had nothing beats thathands-on skills.
And then in doing that andbringing that family together,
then that bonding factor comesin.
SPEAKER_01 (30:50):
Spending that time with spending that time, because
I tell you when you seefamilies, and sometimes um, you
know, now I realize I'm I'mworking so hard to try to put
food on the table, pay the lightbill, pay the water bill or the
gas bill, take care of theutilities, all the other things
(31:10):
that go along with parenting.
SPEAKER_00 (31:12):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (31:12):
But I don't want to miss the bonding time.
And I like to always say this,you got one time to nurture.
And if you don't do thenurturing, it costs down the
road.
Oh, yeah.
So, but guess what?
But as long as they're stillunder your roof, you got time to
for that bonding and thatnurturing.
(31:33):
So, and then when parents talkabout when they've gone through
this program, you know, Irealize I was doing all the
screaming and hollering becauseguess what?
I hadn't bonded with my child.
So, and that's self-revelation.
That nobody has to tell youthat.
Right.
And um, so coming in, pullingthat, and then also parents
(31:54):
understanding the importancethat we've got to monitor our
children.
SPEAKER_00 (31:57):
Oh, yes.
SPEAKER_01 (31:59):
You know, some people let kids go in and just
watch TV or what listen to allkinds of crazy music.
Exactly.
And then we say, well, you know,some so being able to
incorporate that into yourfamily, those are skills that
families need.
You know, a lot of times peoplesay, Well, you know, the world's
this, well, the world's onlymade up of and it's only a
reflection of the other peoplein our community.
(32:20):
And so strengthening families,in my opinion, is good for any
community, any grandmama, youlook, you can come through with
your grandbabies.
Anybody, all of us, you look,even my wife and my oldest
child, they went through, not myoldest child, but my youngest
child at that time, the 6'11,and it made, and that was my
introvert child.
(32:42):
And I mean, in terms of, but shecan tell you those rewards and
those types of things made adifference.
So, you know, and it's bonding,and that's what I I believe, I
believe in this program.
You know, I in terms of thefamily time for meal time,
sitting down, Sunday dinnerduring the week, that's that
should be a practice.
And you know, and we know thatsome families, uh some parents,
(33:05):
they work during the day.
So a lot, but you need tointent, be intentional about
setting some time for that.
SPEAKER_00 (33:12):
I was about to talk, I was about to ask you about
time management, because, like,for instance, I left home this
morning at 8 o'clock, and Ihaven't been back home yet.
And it's 12 hours, it's alreadygone by.
SPEAKER_01 (33:26):
Long time.
So guess what?
When you get ready to do thatbreakfast in the morning, even
if you don't sit down and justeat the grits.
But you know, I'm just we but wefind some level of being
intentional to make certain thatwe plant.
And even letting the kids helpset the menu.
Giving them, you know, when Icame up, whatever grandmama
(33:48):
cooked, that was it.
That was it.
But you know what differencedoes it make?
Okay, and then that also letthem be a part of preparation of
the meal.
When we came, oh you're gonnaplay in their kitchen, but that
but those are also skills thatthe children are developing.
And we're going back again.
Kids are not just to be seen andnot heard.
(34:11):
Yeah, yeah.
Just so you're seen and notheard, not seen, uh, we we want
to develop some skills with withour children.
SPEAKER_00 (34:20):
Yeah, like we said earlier, it's it's a different
day and age now.
Different day and age.
I tell you, um, so about howmany graduations um with all do
you have within the countieseach year?
Okay.
In each county.
SPEAKER_01 (34:37):
Typically we are funded about 11 to 12 cycles,
and that's basically two.
Um, but we've been fortunatethat our philosophy is we try to
be good stewards with the fundsthat we've gotten.
This year we will haveimplemented 17 cycles.
SPEAKER_02 (34:56):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (34:57):
Um, so that roughly means, and we've our staff has
done an excellent job.
Two things are that's importantrecruitment and retention.
And the retention is where youshoot to ensure that you
graduate at least 10 to 12families.
And for example, um there's outof the groups that are
(35:19):
graduating now, um, we arerunning seven cycles.
And there's only one group atthis junction now, and they the
staff has tried everything toretain, but there was a change
in the the young ladies' workschedule, and the the man of the
house is not coming to the nextlevel to help.
(35:39):
So they will be the only groupout of these this group that
will graduate 11.
SPEAKER_00 (35:45):
Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01 (35:45):
Everybody else is on target for their 12.
And it's hard work to try tomake certain that you you stay
in contact and communicationwith people.
Right.
If there are barriers orsomething changes, or if you
need to try to get somebody elseto make certain that the family
still graduates.
And grandmama can participatewith them.
Uh, aunt or uncle canparticipate to ensure that the
(36:06):
family um graduates on time.
SPEAKER_00 (36:08):
Okay, all right.
Well, um our viewers would needto know that the strengthening
families program is offered hereat Savannah Grove Baptist
Church.
Um, Elder Pipkins um directsthat here at the church.
And so um you said we'll startone up possibly in this frame?
SPEAKER_01 (36:32):
I think we're supposed to be back here in in
February, and um we just becausewe were here in we were here in
the spring of the year.
Okay.
Spring 25, so we're supposed tobe back.
Um we uh finished up, we wereover at New Ebenezer.
SPEAKER_00 (36:46):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (36:46):
And um, so they hosted two there, and well, we
got one that's finished up.
So we're supposed to be backhere, and um, Reverend, in fact,
I will say this as well beforethe pandemic, um, Pastor Canton
also was instrumental withhelping us to get into the
Savannah Grove community.
And I don't know if you rememberor not, when we we had one over
at the Savannah Grove ElementarySchool.
(37:07):
I remember.
And uh, in fact, several of umSavannah Grove parishioners
actually volunteered and umhelped us in terms of
recruitment.
And um, I is I can't think ofthe young lady's name, but um,
she was very, very uminstrumental with with coming in
and providing support with usfrom the community as well.
SPEAKER_00 (37:26):
Great, great.
I remember Dr.
Singletary was there for thegraduation, I believe.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Wonderful.
So um if they want toparticipate in the engagement
program on in February, how dothey do that?
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (37:42):
Well, I know we've had some flyers to be here at
the church as well, but they cancontact the Lee County First
Steps office, 803-484-5110,803-484-5110, and um talk to any
of our staff members.
Um they can also um go online umand look children's trust, and
they can do a um referral formand complete that, and then
(38:05):
that'll come directly to us aswell.
Um, but all the easiest wayalways is direct mount, they can
call us and we'll make sure wetake the intake and then get
them ready, sign them, put themon the waiting list and move
right on in.
All right, all right.
SPEAKER_00 (38:20):
That's great, that's great.
So this is wonderful.
SPEAKER_01 (38:24):
We just um is there anything else that we missed
when it comes to that the thatour um viewers need to know when
it comes to I I think the piecethat you just hit really in
terms of for the StrengtheningFamilies program, even though we
have staff that help, it'salways good to have volunteers,
um, men groups um fact um canalways be a part.
(38:48):
And what we started doing in allthe areas as well to show
collaboration, communitypartnership.
Um each of the um cycles for twoof the meals, um, they get
community partners to actuallyprovide that level of support.
Wonderful.
And um, so some it's a simplemeal, even hot dogs, or some,
you know, they can make contactand then they can also come in
(39:11):
and be volunteers becausethere's always opportunity and
room for volunteers to providesupport for other things that
that we do.
And um, we are big in terms oftrying to provide support and
services.
And as I said, once the programis over, that's not the end
because they have connected andthey've made life-lasting
(39:31):
relationships.
Um, as I was saying to you, evenum even reflecting upon with um
individuals that I know, onceit's over with, they maintain
relationships with their familycoaches.
And those relationships becomefamilieship.
And that's really what the wholegoal is, that you you've got
some connection and the pointthat you and the protective
(39:53):
factor, knowing where to genderfor help and those concrete
supports in times of need,knowledge of child development,
the parenting, because it takesa village, and that's really
what the strength and familiesprogram is really all about.
SPEAKER_00 (40:07):
Yes, it takes a village, it does.
Well, thank you ever so much forjoining us here today.
This has been very enlightening.
Um, I've heard a lot about thestrength and families program,
but this is the first time thatI've really had the chance to
sit down with you and to uh andyou explain all the different
(40:27):
entities and factors that comewith this program.
And there's one at Community UmAction Partnership.
I think they serve Marion Countyin that way.
SPEAKER_01 (40:36):
Um, PD Cap, they serve Marion and they also serve
uh Dillon County.
Okay.
And then Lighthouse Ministrieshere in Florence, they also
provide the Strength and theFamilies program.
And our relationship has beenthat because we're pretty much
our area has been rural, so weserve the rural portion, but we
don't have any conflict in termsof relate, we do referrals to
(40:59):
them and they do referrals to usas well.
Okay.
Um, in fact, in the county,we've been in Timminsville,
we've been in Lake City.
In fact, we finished a couple ofweeks ago down in Lake City.
So what but we've kept ourprogram pretty much mobile in
different locations as well.
Right.
If someone says they want us,we've been in churches, boys and
girls club.
Um, so that there's just been arelationship.
SPEAKER_00 (41:21):
Good, good, good.
Well, I'm glad that people aretaking it um advantage of your
services, and perfectly more ofyou will take advantage of the
services of the strengtheningfamilies program.
Um the first steps, Lee County.
Yeah.
Yes, and tell them though thatage group eligibility again.
SPEAKER_01 (41:39):
The age group eligibility is six to seventeen,
but the whole family has theopportunity to come because we
provide child care, uh, thesethe children's group, and then
the teens group.
And um, we've just beenfortunate that that we're also
doing a collaboration that weare able to do preschool.
We'll be specifically targetingpreschool in um Lee and Sumter
(42:03):
Counties.
SPEAKER_00 (42:04):
Wonderful, wonderful.
So, yeah, that's the entirefamily.
SPEAKER_01 (42:08):
Entire family.
And the good thing about it isthat during those nights that
the session meets, you don'thave to cook.
And they get incentives.
Um then at graduation, wenormally get a hundred dollar
gift card for participating atgraduation, and each night they
get incentives as well.
SPEAKER_00 (42:27):
Wow.
Well, that's wonderful, that'swonderful.
Well, thank you so much forjoining us on this evening.
And uh we open our doors for youto come back again.
Okay, well right, especiallyespecially once that program
begins here in February, youknow, uh, so that we'll know um
exactly what's going on and andhow people can participate if
(42:49):
you need volunteers, okay,things of that nature.
SPEAKER_01 (42:52):
All right, well, we'll be ready, and then our
side coordinator was over herewas um Danielle Boyden.
She did an exceptional jobconnecting as well.
SPEAKER_00 (42:59):
Yes, yes.
I think I did meet her on oneoccasion while she was here.
All right, well, thanks again.
unknown (43:05):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (43:06):
All right, everyone.
Thank you ever so much for uhbeing with us on today.
I'm Jocelia Williams sitting infor Reverend Dr.
Ralph WCanty and Native Drumshere at the Savannah Grove
Baptist Church.
Have a beautiful and blessedevening.
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