April 18, 2025 • 53 mins
In this week’s episode of Nonsense in the Chaos, I explore the idea that we each hold the power to shape our own reality. Using the metaphor of a single pixel in a vast image, I delve into how tending to your own light—your energy, your choices, your presence—can influence not only your personal world but the collective picture we’re all creating together. This episode invites you to reflect on how to make your pixel shine as brightly and vibrantly as possible, and how, in doing so, you open the door to manifesting any reality you can imagine.
The music and artwork is by @moxmoxmoxiemox
Nonsense in the Chaos is available on all podcast platforms or you can listen to it here… https://nonsenseinthechaos.buzzsprout.com
I'd love to know what you think! If you want to get in touch with me about anything on the podcast then email nonsenseinthechaos@gmail.com or you can follow me on Instagram and Bluesky @kriyaarts or at the Nonsense in the Chaos Page on Facebook.
Please consider supporting me through patreon.com/JolieRose and like, follow, and review wherever you get your podcasts from. Share about Nonsense in the Chaos far and wide! The more people who hear about the podcast the better.
Thank you for all your support -x-
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The.
Welcome to The Nonsense in theChaos.
I'm your host Jolie Rose.
Last night we held a online moonceremony for the Libra of Full
Moon, and this was a reallyspecial moon for me because
Libra is ruled by Venus and I'mruled by Venus.
(00:21):
She's my archetype and.
Venus Station Direct as well onSunday, which is a very unusual
astrology signature.
for a planet to station directat the same time as the moon
goes full in the sign that thisplanet rules is really unusual
(00:44):
and it's felt like.
An empowering moment for thefem, the feminine the response
to the Aries energy and the Marsenergy that we had earlier in
the year.
the astrology at the moment isjust crazy.
Is there any way to put it?
Especially when you're lookingat the world stage and what's
playing out on the world stage,and then how the astrology is.
(01:06):
Mirroring it or it fits, is theway to put it.
And we have, so we had themoment that Venus started going
retrograde, and the last timethis had happened with her going
retrograde in Aries was the lasttime that Trump got in.
And when she started to goretrograde was when Trump's
inauguration happened.
So both times were Trump'sinaugurations, and that's quite
(01:27):
amazing that was the case.
And Venus had gone retrograde inAries, which Mars had been
retrograde in Aries earlier.
So Mars was retrograde in Ariesand it was like the absolute,
most toxic masculinity you canget, Mars being retrograde in
Aries is.
All of the masculine being as,yeah, as awful as it can
(01:48):
basically.
And then you had Venus thenresponding to it with Mercury
alongside her.
And Mercury is the planet ofcommunication.
And so it's a bit like amegaphone supporting whatever's
happening with amplifying themessaging or the messaging
that's getting out.
So we had Venus going retrogradewith Mercury alongside, and so
(02:09):
whatever, like thedemonstrations and everything's
been amplified with the supportof Mercury.
And then on Sunday Saturdaynight, one in the morning, so
technically Sunday Venus directsat the same time as me going
full.
So it felt like this real momentof reclamation and.
(02:29):
Surging of feminine power andyeah, just, it's a key moment
and I had a really.
Very powerful moon ceremony andalso came on my bleed.
And so today I am very fuzzy.
I'm very fuzzy, and it's justtaken me ages to get myself
together, to do this, to do therecording.
(02:50):
Today, it's Monday and that'sreally late for me to be doing
the recording, and then I've gota really busy week ahead of me,
but this is the moment I can doit.
My aunt and uncle are over.
And it's been lovely to havethem here because it has
coincided with my bleed and themoon, which is an opportunity
for me to stop and not be quiteso focused on the government and
(03:13):
belting arrangements.
it's been good.
They've all happened at the sametime because I've had a couple
of days of doing lovely touristythings with my aunts and uncle
and moon ceremonies and eatingnice food and things like that.
So that's all worked out ratherwell.
And I took my uncle to theDolman today in Little Suck and
I took them to D Harwood andthey saw the blue bells.
(03:34):
The blue bells were in fullswing.
I've never seen so many bluebells.
It's this is a bumpy year.
I'm hoping they'll all still behere for the festival they might
have gone over, but you can'tcontrol nature.
Nature will do what she wantsand yeah.
I did this ceremony last nightand it felt really special and
the focus was on'cause Libra isthe scales, but rather than it
(04:00):
being balance, I feel like it'sabout your heart being as light
as a feather.
So it's not about judgment, it'sabout clarity.
And we did a meditation lastnight where I led the.
Participants into a, into theGreat pyramid the Great Pyramid
Chamber, central chamber, andwent down into this dark space
(04:22):
and it glowed with the greenlight of the Cyrus and reentered
his chamber.
And the Cyrus was there and hehad the feather and an UBA
stepped out from the shadowswith the jackal head, and he
held the scales out in frontand.
Cyrus placed the feather on thescale and then we all reached
(04:44):
our hands to our hearts and tookour hearts out as glittering red
jewels covered in facets.
And we placed that on the otherhalf of the scale.
And I asked to observe whetheryour heartfelt as light as a
feather and if it doesn't whatneeds taking out so that it
does, so we.
(05:05):
Stroked along the facets andthey became petals rose petals,
black rose petals.
And we took them off the scaleand acknowledged what they were.
For me, my three rose petalswere, always being money and
time scarce.
I'm always busy and I'm alwaysskin, and it has been this way
for 20 years.
(05:26):
It's been this way since I was achild, since I left home, and my
circumstances are completelydifferent now.
I live in a different place,different surroundings.
My work's changed, and yet I'mstill in the same situation and
I feel the same.
So the constant is me.
I took that petal and I put itin my hand, and then I took the
next petal, which was peoplepleasing and fomo, feeling left
(05:49):
out feeling misunderstood, notbeing liked, which has been an
unusual experience.
That has really only happenedsince I moved here because in
the UK I've done a very good jobof only surrounding myself with
like-minded people and yeah,people who have my back and who
thought I was great and werefriends basically, who were
(06:10):
vibrating on the same frequencyas me and then moved to here
where we are a real mixed bag ofpeople and it's challenging
'cause you are sometimes, inamongst people that don't get on
with you and.
Just friendship groups movearound all the time and people
can be really bitter and twistedand beige and they have to.
Yeah, you just have to navigateit all and it's interesting, but
(06:33):
it's constant and there's enoughpeople that are exciting and fun
and interesting and colorful andsparkly for it all to be fine,
but you are not able to avoidthose that don't fit your tribe.
We are all here together and,yeah, it's interesting.
I feel like if I was a man.
I would be liked more.
Part of it is that I'm a womanand it's a very chauvinistic
(06:55):
place.
So yeah, if I was a man, thegirls would love me here, but
because I'm a woman, the girlsreally don't like me.
They find me threatening, sothat's fine.
It's just the way it is and Idon't care.
So I took that rose petal off.
I do care.
That's why I took the rose petaloff'cause it does weigh on my
heart.
And the last one was, yeah, mykind of.
The fight that I'm in, which isa good thing and I don't wanna
(07:18):
not be doing it, but it alsodoes weigh on me'cause it's
tiring and it takes out of me.
And that is the fractal ness ofthe world.
So there, I can't reach Trump,but there are Trump elements in
the world in front of me.
There are people that are usinghis tactics that are.
Using his language that arefollowing his lead and they are
(07:43):
in front of me.
So no, I can't reach Trump itseems, but I can negotiate with
fight against work to bringaround those in front of me who
have his energy fractallyflowing through them.
And this is what I think.
We all should think about doingand concentrate on is the bigger
(08:04):
picture is overwhelming and adistraction purposefully but in
front of you there are elementsof all of the bigger picture,
all of the, it is fractal.
All of the facets of the bigjewel are all a in you.
There's a bit of Trump in all ofand also in the world that we
are creating around us.
(08:25):
'cause we create our worlds.
So we have created an element ofTrump in the world around us and
for us to work with that.
How do we feel about that?
What do we wanna, how do wewanna challenge it?
How do we wanna stand up againstit?
Have we the capacity to do that?
How can we develop the capacityto do it?
How do we do it?
(08:46):
it's a puzzle, but I took thatpedal off and so I've jumped
ahead.
'cause basically I took thepedals off and they were black
pedals, the things that wereweighing my heart.
So you kept doing that until thescales were balanced.
And then I took those pedalswith me and I stepped out of the
pyramid and into the light, andthey turned to these jeweled red
petals.
And they, and it was that thesewere our medicine.
(09:07):
So they're our medicine.
How do we work with these?
So with the money, the scarcityof time and money.
Petal.
Either I need to do somethingabout it and change the way I
live my life because I've alwayslived my life this way and or
own it.
Own the fact that this is theway I exist.
That I am always, I, so I had areally interesting conversation,
(09:28):
my uncle today at the Doman.
So the Doman was built at thesame time as the pyramids and
it's Neolithic, 1500 BC and wesat there and he said I've just
always known that I'm not gonnabe rich.
And I had that conversation withyour aunt, when we got married.
I said, if you're hoping to getrich, then don't bother marrying
me.
(09:49):
'cause that's not happening.
I'm not about money, I don'tcare about money.
I just want to be able to besafe and secure and have a
family and to be able to lookafter them.
That's all I want.
I don't want more than that.
I just wanted to live a nicelife and have fun and enjoy
myself, and he's been a musicianall his life and he's had a good
time and they get on reallywell.
They've had a lovelyrelationship.
They've got three awesome kids,my cousins who are brilliant and
(10:11):
are brilliant fun and are livingtheir best lives, and they did
it.
They did exactly what they setout to do, which is really
wonderful.
And it was interesting because Irealized that actually part of
me had always thought that I wasgonna get rich because I've shot
for the stars.
I've always shot for the starsfrom they dot.
I've always been exceptionallylucky, but I also 100% thought I
(10:32):
was gonna be famous and Ithought I was gonna be a
successful famous artist.
And that's.
What I was aiming for.
I still am.
I always will be.
That's in me to own that part ofmyself, that I will always be
aiming for that.
But the reality is that I'm notthat and because I'm not that
I've got to live an amazinglife.
(10:54):
I haven't been trolled, Ihaven't been, at the center of
any controversy, I've never feltthreatened.
I've just been having the mostbalmy life, and I have and my
uncle said today, he's thememories at the end of your life
are, are are the real riches.
Like you could have all themoney in the world and have had
a really banal, unpleasant,boring life.
(11:15):
And so money doesn't buy youmemories, money doesn't buy you.
Ridiculous situations.
I've been in so many absolutelyhilarious, ridiculous situations
where I'm just like, even by mystandards, that was mental and
that's happened to me.
I.
Nonstop my whole life.
And that's wonderful.
And I love it.
I love having mad experiencesand some of them have been from
(11:40):
hedonism, some of them have beenfrom theater, some of them have
been from traveling living on amad lit island where I'm
suddenly in the government.
It's just.
Ongoing.
And it's'cause I keep saying yesto life and I wish that I got to
live a million lives and I onlyget this one, so I'm gonna live
it to the max.
So that means I will always betime scarce and busy and
(12:02):
exhausted and I am poor and Iwill always be poor.
I'm not gonna get rich.
That's not gonna happen.
Not really.
I mean it might, but I'll keepliving.
Into it.
I'll keep shooting for the starsbecause it seems to do a good
job of getting me into funnysituations.
So I'll keep that up.
But it's just, there's somethingquite relaxing about owning the
(12:24):
fact that I'm.
Skin and that's that it wasjust, yeah, it felt relaxing to
take that.
So yeah, it's taking thesepetals and owning it as
medicine.
It's the same with the FOMO orpeople not liking you.
One of the most useful bits ofmedicine that I heard in recent
years was that you can't controlother people's feelings and that
(12:46):
you are not responsible for themand.
That was a revelation to mebecause I'd just got out of a
toxic marriage where heabsolutely convinced me.
And yeah, I basically spent 13years being told that I was
responsible for his feelings andI was doing everything I could
(13:06):
to try and make him feel good.
And.
Nothing I did worked.
And then when I heard someonesay, you are not responsible for
someone else's feelings.
You are not in control of them,you can't control them.
It was such a revelation becauseI was like, of course I can't.
And I tried really hard and thatwas up to him.
It was up to him to stay foreverupset and angry and sad and all
(13:30):
the things that he felt like itwas horrible to witness.
And I didn't want him to feellike that.
But I couldn't do anything aboutit, and I tried so hard, and I
am here to tell you, you can'tdo anything about it.
Like it, no matter what I did,no matter how hard I tried, I
always let him down.
It was never good enough.
He had to, at some point decideto be happy and to make himself
(13:51):
happy.
And I couldn't do it.
And that was brilliant.
That was a revelation.
And it's to keep.
Learning that and rememberingthat and absorbing that.
In my life here, if people havegot a beef with me or don't like
me or whatever, then that's upto them.
It's totally their thing.
I can't do anything about it,and there's no point bending
over backwards or trying toplease them and trying to win
(14:13):
them over.
Just, it's their, that's theirproblem.
It's not your problem.
Just get on with your own life.
And then, and also you, most ofthe time you're guessing that's
how they feel anyway.
You've got no idea what'sactually going on in their
world.
stop bothering with all of that.
What other people think of youis not any of your business.
And the last one.
The fight.
Yeah.
This fractal thing.
It's important.
I want to learn how to stand upagainst.
(14:36):
Authority that I, that feelsdominating and domineering and
threatening.
I want to stand up againstfascism.
I want to stand up againstpatriarchy and injustice and
inequality and unfairness, andI'm doing it on a small scale
right in front of me, in my tinylittle rock, in my tiny little
government, and it feels like,I'm doing what I can here.
(14:59):
Where I am and that will feedthrough the mycelium network of
the cosmos to reach the, whatfeels like the top of the tree.
But it's all one anyway, thetree's all one thing, so it
might feel like I'm down in theroots, but it's still part of
the tree.
And actually the roots are whatfeed to the tree.
What's right in front of me Ineed to work with, and and I'm
(15:19):
doing it.
I'm doing it.
So with all of it is owning it.
This is the medicine.
These are your quests.
The quests die on question.
What questions you are asking.
What things that keep you up atnight?
The things that are troublingyou, they are the quests that
you are on.
So these petals are the thingsthat make my heart feel heavy,
but they're also the medicinebecause these are the challenges
in the game that you areplaying, which is the game of
(15:41):
life.
To take them and to hold themand for them to be your medicine
is really a key thing.
So that was lovely.
And then I had a sherah datewith the ladies my darling
friend Lee, who passed away in2020.
Sand crab.
He was a little sand crab nextto me, which I have next to me
to always think about him.
And he was a beautiful gay.
(16:03):
gorgeous, glittery, sweatylittle man who I loved dearly.
And he used to do this thingcalled a sherah date, where him
on his own or with his bestfriend Ro, they would have a
little date night where theywould just get completely off
their heads and dance around thebedroom like you did as a
teenage girl, singing songs andmaking up dance routines and
just entertaining themselves andjust loving their own company.
(16:24):
And this is something that Ireally enjoy doing.
I enjoy doing sherah dates.
Doing these podcasts is a bitlike doing a sherah date.
It's me.
Talking to myself in a room justlike la and I love that you are
here listening to me having thismad conversation.
And I never, I mean, I didn'treally know what I was gonna
talk about tonight.
Like I, I.
I sometimes try and plan whatI'm doing, but especially today,
I was just so fuzzy.
(16:45):
I just thought well, I'm I'mjust just gonna go for it and
I'll light some incense.
I've got some rose scentedincense.
I've got flowers behind me fromthe garden that all pink and
red.
And last night we did the same.
We drank cacao and ate roseflavored chocolate.
And I've got my rose scent inkand I was doing some scrying
where you get a bowl of milk andthen I'm dropping my red rose
cent ink into it and forming apattern.
(17:06):
And I'm teaching myself to dothis'cause I'm really good at.
Divination with tarot and ruins.
So I know what it feels like.
You're, you are not letting yourconscious mind get in the way.
You are just saying what whatyou see and feel.
Because we feel so much morelike we are intuitively knowing
so much more than we ever aresaying, or it's polite to say.
(17:26):
So if you do a reading forsomeone, basically you are
reading them as a person.
But because in polite society,you don't say, ah.
You are, you're clearlydepressed or I don't know, like
I can tell that you've had a lotof trauma in your life.
Like people give off vibes.
Like you can pick up so muchfrom someone really easily the
stage of life they're in.
(17:48):
You can feel them.
You can feel their desires andwants coming off of them.
And in fooling we name it.
So in fooling will as the foolsay, your dad was clearly in the
army, And it's shocking when youget it right, if you really hit
the nail on the head becausethat person's wow, how did you
do that?
And it's the same I think withmediums.
They just pick up things andthey'll be chucking stuff out
(18:11):
all the time.
And occasionally you'll saysomething that's just so spot on
for someone that it seems reallymad, but it's because you're
just picking.
Things up, you pick things up.
And so I'm trying to teachmyself to describe, but I'm
finding it a bit harder to do,but I'm enjoying the practice of
it.
So you got the milk and I'mdropping the red ink in and
asking a question and then justletting the answer come.
So you are looking at it, butit's more that it's just
(18:34):
distracting your brain.
And then you get to have acommunication with your self
subconscious mind.
And that's been, just reallyuseful to experiment with.
So you can scribe with mirrors.
So you can look in the mirrorand just look at the reflection
of the moon in the mirror orreflection of the moon in water,
for example.
And that's the same thing.
It's the same with tea leavesand yeah crystal balls.
(18:56):
So you're just letting your,it's a bit like doing a 3D,
those magic eye pictures whereyou're looking through it,
you're not really looking at it,and you are, you're just
distracting your brain enough tolet.
Your subconscious give you theanswer, and that's what you're
doing with Tarot and Rooms.
So I've been experimenting withthat as well over this full
moon.
And I'm gonna be doing that inthe Women's Circle on Tuesday
night, which is tomorrow night.
(19:17):
So, well, You've got a meancircle tomorrow night.
And I love that there's loads ofwomen who come to it and it's
lovely and.
This is the thing.
There's so much going on here.
My aunt and uncle have beenblown away.
We spent all of yesterday, Imade a delicious, no.
In fact, dizzle made a deliciousSunday roast.
I cleaned the house, but myYeah, darling husband Dizzle
made a delicious roast yesterdaywith meat that we'd won at the
(19:37):
meat drawer on Friday.
It's my aunt and uncle arrivedon Friday, went to the meat
drawer at the pub, one load ofmeat.
Both of us did.
So we had meat for the roast onSunday.
They had breakfast for the wholeweekend fry up and then we made
a roast and my friend Ash cameover and we just sat there.
And Ash is the judge.
He's my mate and he's the judge.
The island vice deputy senatorand I'm on the government and.
(20:00):
Dizzy's family have been here500 years and my aunt and uncle
just sat there while we werejust non, it was hours of us
regaling them whilst drinkinglots of wine with stories of the
island and the islanders and allthe madness that happens here.
And I said to them today, I waslike, God, I thought.
About it this morning.
We literally just talked to youabout the island for hours, and
(20:22):
they said, no, it was soentertaining and it's such a mad
place.
They love it.
They absolutely love it.
And they said, I can totally seewhy you live here and what you
love about it because it's just,it is so complex and.
Full of stuff and community'sfascinating.
It's really hard work, but it isfascinating and it's so funny
and I, I have a much broadersocial life here because in
(20:44):
Brighton, which you'd think,okay, so Brighton's just got so
much to do, which it did.
And I did loads.
I've always, I was involved inloads of clubs and groups and
things and doing stuff all thetime, but you're brought up with
your age group, aren't you?
And so my age group had.
Had kids and there was a handfulof us that didn't have kids.
And we were going to the samepub that we used to go to in our
twenties and most of the peoplethat were younger than us now,
(21:06):
and they didn't hang out with usand we're just knocking around
being the ones that didn't havekids.
And there's five or six, sevenof us, but there's not many of
us.
And it just felt a bit sad andtragic.
Here.
Everyone still goes to the pubs.
The parents are there with thekids, and the 20 year olds are
there and they hang out with youbecause there is no age gaps
between people.
All the different age groupsjust hang out with each other.
(21:28):
And then there's people whodidn't have kids.
There's people whose kids havenow grown up.
There's much older people whoare now grandparents, like we
are all in the pub together.
And so it doesn't stand out atall that I don't have children.
I hardly get.
Asked about it at all, itdoesn't get talked about because
it's sort of irrelevant.
Like you either have kids or youdon't.
You're either having them ornot.
It's just life's life and we'rejust all in the, amongst each
(21:50):
other and it's less obviouswhat's going on.
Yeah, it's interesting.
And I'm, yeah I can be out everyday and be around people, and I
can party every night if I wantto.
And.
It will be with a big differentmix of people.
It's different every night.
Dizz goes out every night, hegoes out more than me,
especially'cause I'm having adry year this year and he's with
different people every singlenight and goes to a different
(22:11):
house every night and ends up inall sorts of adventures and
being under the stars doingsomething or yeah, there's
always something going on.
So yeah, we've had a really funweekend showing Nigel and
Colette the madness of theisland, my aunt and uncle.
And now I'm gonna pull a If youenjoy this podcast, then please
(22:36):
would you be able to support itby either on Paton, which is
three pound a month for onetier, and that's just a.
Get the content that is likethings that I would put up on
Facebook and stuff like myYouTube videos and when the moon
ceremonies are happening and thearticles that I write, but it's
all in one place and I don'thave to search for it.
(22:57):
And it's like you saying thankyou and buying me a cup of tea
and a once a month.
Thank you for the podcast.
Or for nine pounds a month,there is the videos of the
podcast, which are nice and funto watch and a bit extra it's
nice to see the video as well,and.
If you aren't able to supportfinancially, then that isn't a
problem because it goes out forfree anyway and someone else is
(23:18):
paying and it means they'repaying for you to get a free
podcast.
But what would be wonderful, andI would really appreciate if you
were able to share about it andtell people about it, if you're
enjoying it, then other peoplemight do as well.
So if you could and also to giveit.
Rating.
I've, I only noticed today onSpotify that I had ten five star
ratings, which I was reallyexcited about.
So if you're one of the peoplewho've done that, thank you.
(23:41):
Really appreciate it.
So anywhere where you get yourpodcast, if you can review and
like it, that would be sowonderful and I would really
appreciate it.
And just tell people about it,share it on social media, and,
word of mouth I think is key.
So I'd really appreciate doingthat.
there's some offerings coming upin the not too distant future.
So Beltane is nearly sold out.
(24:01):
Loads of tickets have sold overthe weekend, so I dunno how many
we've got left yet.
It was 90 before.
The weekend, I reckon we'reprobably getting close to 50
tickets left, so that'sexciting.
That's on the 3rd of May and theexcitement is building.
We've got some amazing bits andBobs planned, can't wait.
So do come.
We've got incredible bands, somefrom the uk Jersey, Guernsey,
(24:23):
Sark, and then we've got.
Artists doing all sorts ofinstallations and walkabout.
We've got uk, UK performanceartists coming over.
It's gonna be a mad affair,burning a Wickerman dancing, the
Maypole Mama's plays.
It's Morris dancing, the wholeshebang.
And then we've got before thatthe Kooky Club, which in the
24th of April ties in with Beam,but it's a surprise.
(24:45):
Can't tell you anything moreabout it, but that is a secret
location, a secret guest and asecret chef.
And you get spoiled rotten.
You have delicious food.
And I interview this guest andwe have a conversation about art
and life and their journey.
And it's inspiring and it's anopportunity for people to just
sit and chat without it beingbooze related.
(25:07):
being able to instigate andinspire conversation in people,
and they're just wonderfulnights.
I, it's a privilege to be partof them and I feel spoiled
rotten going and doing themmyself.
And then.
We also have the, which fool areyou?
Workshops beginning at the endof May, and this is where you
get to work with your archetypeand you get to know your
(25:27):
archetype and having just comeout of a full mean ceremony.
Having worked with my archetype,Venus, I honestly.
It is so hard to get across howvaluable this work is, but it's
so valuable and it's so rich.
I was talking about the Rosepath and the Mary Magdalene
path, and following the Venus.
(25:49):
Journey with the people in themoon ceremony, and this is a
whole world you can go andresearch and look into.
So there's a book by LisaLister, it's called Venus, that
I recommend, and it's anothercycle to follow.
So I was saying to them, Ifollow the solar, the sun, so
cycle with the sabbaths, whichis things like Beltane and the
summer solstice and the equinoxsays.
That I do outside with people.
(26:11):
I physically go and do thingswith people for them.
The moon ceremonies and the mooncycles I follow with people
online and that's doing the fullmoon and the dark moon and I
really enjoy doing them andthey're, it's a really nice way
to connect and I actually thinkzoom's a great format for it.
And then you go outside andspend some time in the moon
yourself.
But it just feels like a reallyspecial way to definitely check
in every two weeks.
(26:31):
And I clean the house and I makethe house into a sacred space
and I connect in with the mean.
The Venus cycle is more of apersonal journey, so this is a
cycle of follow on my own.
And this is working with thejourneys.
She goes up through the chakrapoints and then goes through a
retrograde and then goes backdown through the chakra points
into the underworld.
And it's us going on thisjourney of like self.
(26:52):
Like development and devotionand taking ourselves apart and
rebuilding ourselves, which wedo each month with our menstrual
cycle.
So it's this building up anddeconstructing and I've only
just started working with it, soI'm describing it like this now,
but I'm sure in.
A few years time,'cause it's aneight year cycle, I'll be
feeling differently about it andI'll have more of an
understanding of it.
(27:12):
But this path is called the MaryMagdalene Rose Path.
'cause Mary Magdalene was apriestess who was a disciple of
Jesus, but she'd been a paganpriestess prior to that.
And she was a Venus priestessand she knew how to hold
ceremony, which is why in theBible.
She pours the oil on Jesus,which is the most sacred part of
(27:34):
a coronation, and it's the onlybit that's not allowed to be
reviewed or watched.
And, when she does it in theBible, the disciples are like,
why are you wasting that oil?
What do you think you're doing?
And Jesus says, no, she knowswhat she's doing, which shows
that she knew how to anoint andanoint a king, which meant that
she was a religious leaderherself.
He was able to do that, but itwas the pagan faith.
And her gospel was removed fromthe Bible and there were several
(27:58):
gospels removed that were.
All of them were the ones thatsaid that we were all God, that
God was within us.
That we were all part of God,which is the way I totally see
things like I, I call it theuniverse.
They call it God.
The way I feel about it is thatwe are just one thing
experiencing itself through allthese different facets.
And that within us is all of it.
(28:19):
It's the masculine and thefeminine and all the different
aspects like Trump and all thedifferent things, but we are
all, God, this is what God isthe universe.
And it might be a computer game,it might be a play, it might be
whatever.
But that's what this thing is.
It's God and we are it.
And that's what these gospelssaid.
And they're the ones that gotremoved.
So it's a really sacred.
Path and initiation and journey,and this is me working with my
(28:43):
archetype of Venus.
There are all sorts of otherthings out there that are
different archetypes that youcould be working with, that you
could be developing.
For example I'm obviouslysurrounded by a lot of people
who are fools and tricksters andthey're working with Jonathan K
in the fall, and then there'sthe full, the tarot, and then
there's.
Punch in Judy and Panto andmama's plays and that whole
(29:04):
lineage.
So when you know what yourarchetype is, there's like a
whole juicy, meaty world thatyou belong to, and there's no
end to the development of yourrelationship to it.
And it doesn't mean save yourarchetype is.
Eris the goddess of discord,right?
You've got Discordian.
That's a whole amazing, coolthing, Doesn't mean you can't
(29:26):
explore.
Venus doesn't also mean that youdon't have a bit of Venus in you
as well.
A lot of people have a mixtureof archetypes.
Some people have a really clear,strong one, but some people are
a mixture.
I have three, so I, my, mystrongest one is Venus, but I
also have ing the fertility,creativity, God, which I see as
very camp.
He's the kind of David Bowie outin John.
(29:48):
Freddie Mercury vibe.
That's how I read him as.
And within me, I have a gay man.
Like I feel I am trans in a waybecause I feel like I've got a
gay man in my body.
And that's very much what our,my marriage with my husband's
based on.
So I've got ing and then I'vealso got Heti, the Triple
Goddess, which is the MotherCronin child.
(30:09):
And I'm not any of those things.
I'm not a mother and I'm notCronin, I'm not a child, but I
really connect with and resonatewith all three of those things.
There's a bit of me that seemslike an old woman.
There's a bit of me that seemslike a mother.
There's a bit of me that seemslike a child and.
Yeah that I work with all threeof them.
They're all, oh, and the Warrioras well.
Actually the warrior is a fourthone that is sort of all of them.
(30:30):
I, that's almost like a washover all of them.
So yeah, I've been working withall of these.
To develop them, get to knowthem, spend time with them, and
each year I just read where I'mat as to what I wanna work with
for the next witch.
Full you cycle.
And then most other people,it's, they're doing it for the
first time and they'll connectwith their archetype for that
(30:50):
journey if you've done itbefore.
I would recommend doing itagain, and you can go in deeper
with the one that you've alreadyexplored, or you could explore a
different aspect of yourself anda different archetype.
And I'd be happy to work outdeals for you to do that.
Like we could talk about what'spossible for you with doing
that.
But it's.
Juicy.
It's the juiciest work that Ido.
(31:10):
So if you're interested in anyof this, then do let me know.
We'll be beginning that in theend of May, and it will be for a
Luna Cycle.
And it's all done online, soanyone can join in with that.
so that's all of my offerings.
Thank you.
And on with the show.
(31:37):
Oh yeah.
So in front of me, I've got tworings already.
Now, these rings I pulled lastnight for the ceremony.
And these are the two rings thatI'm going to create a medicine
line.
This was something that we didin the ceremony, I thought.
Just was a really powerful bitof magic that we can do.
So I pulled runes for everybodybecause once we'd done this
(31:58):
petal meditation, we had a whitestone, which we held onto and
we, the things that we wanted tolet go of that made our hearts
feel heavy, we filled the whitestone with, and then in our left
hand, and then with our righthand with a black stone.
We filled it up with themedicine, with the things that
(32:18):
we wanna take forward with thethings that we want to develop.
And then I pulled rooms foreveryone and it broke everyone's
brain that I did it that wayround colorwise.
And hand wise, the reason why Idid that is'cause when I was
doing sisterhood and touringsisterhood I was doing it the
other way round, which is theobvious way around.
And a woman whose partner wasblack said, why is black always
seen as the darkness and thenegative?
(32:38):
Why is it not the other wayaround?
And I was like, actually, youare right.
That's really interesting.
And swapped it.
And it kept just completelytripping people up.
It really messed with theirbrains.
But our most powerful ceremonywas then with a woman of color
in the.
Group with us.
And it just felt so powerful tobe doing it the other way
around, and for her to hear thatand for us to not just be
(32:59):
saying, oh, black's bad, it isthe darkness and the shadow.
yeah, I just think.
'cause also what came out fromour conversation about it last
night is these are like the dotsin the yin and yang.
'cause you have a white.in theblack fish and you have a
black.in the white fish.
And it's a bit like with thesolstice, like it's an amazing
thing that.
It's the summer solstice andit's the longest day of the
(33:20):
year, but there's the touch ofsadness that the days are now
gonna get shorter.
And the same with the wintersolstice.
It's the short day of the year,but there's a touch of lightness
in that it's gonna get lighterand that we, these are almost
like the dots and also themedicine.
Like I said, when I pulled thesepetals out, these are the things
that make my heart heavy.
But these are also the medicine,quite often it's working against
the grain.
(33:40):
It's going against the grain ofwhat you normally do with
performing, because my archetypeis Venus is this sexy, trumpet
sexy goddess.
If I'm playing Venus, then it'slike I don't really believe my
archetype enough, and so I am.
Almost trying too hard to be itrather than just owning it.
Whereas what's really fun is ifI play a really dirty, gross old
(34:03):
man, and then when I'm likedoing that as Venus it feels
like, it's a given that I'msexy, but this sexy lady is
playing this disgusting pervyold man.
And it's funnier.
It's much funnier and much morepowerful and much more
empowered.
Then it is trying to be sexy.
'cause you're never gonna befull blown Aphrodite.
'cause you're just immortal formof her on earth.
(34:25):
But as Aphrodite fully like,yeah, I know I've got this in
me.
I don't need to prove it toanyone.
I can be a dirty old man.
It works really well.
I.
So there's something aboutworking against the grain.
These things are your medicine.
They might seem like the thingsthat are making your heart
heavy, but actually they're thethings that are being presented
in the game and the quest thatyou are in the storyline.
The narrative that are theinteresting adventure that
(34:46):
you're on.
They're the take this ring tomortal moments.
Like these are the things thatyou are questing with.
And did that with these stonesand put these rooms on them.
And we are now gonna take themto somewhere, anywhere we want.
To create a pilgrimage where wetake ourselves on a little
pilgrimage and we put one at thebeginning, which is the one that
we're, the thing that's heavythat we're letting go of, and we
put that at the beginning andthen we'll walk with intention
(35:08):
to wherever the end of thatline's gonna be.
You decide, it could be justacross your bedroom.
It could be in your favoritepark, it could be somewhere in
the countryside.
It can be wherever you want.
It is up to you.
It's literally up to you whereyou want to take it.
But you place the first one downat one end, and then you carry
the other one and walk with itto the other m and you place it
down.
And then you've created amedicine line that even if the
(35:29):
stones disappear, like you'velet them go they're gone.
You then.
Whenever you want to think aboutthe themes of either the rooms
or what the things were thatyou, the petals you took from
the pyramid, you go and walkwith them and you go and walk
that medicine line andcontemplate it.
And it just felt like that was areally useful thing.
I know where I'm gonna do thewalk.
(35:50):
I'm gonna do it tomorrow.
I'll be with my aunt and uncle,but I'll know what I'm doing and
I'm sure while I'm with them,I'll be, the conversations will
come out about what it is thatI'm doing.
And that will forever be there.
And I will also be able to talkto my aunt and uncle along that
line, even if they don't, evenif they're not around anymore,
I'll always have them with me.
And it's just a place for me totalk and to, to myself and
(36:10):
connect in with these things.
And over the years they'llchange.
The meaning of the rooms willchange.
And yeah, my room, the first onewas o which is community.
And that is for me here, likethe biggest sort of.
Head screw there is, like myissues in life are all to do
with the community in this neverending conversation about how to
share space.
(36:31):
And then the medicine is beingdirect and being clear about
what I want.
And that's, so if ever I need toclear my head about.
Whatever's going on on thisisland, I can just go do this
walk and clear my head and thatwould be really useful.
So let's see what re we pull andthe universe wants to share.
So this is Lots Cup.
This is the gambling cup.
(36:53):
We play a game at Kentwellcalled Maya, where you hover a
cup with two Dyson dye in andyou shake them and you roll them
and you look inside and the gameis that you.
You wanna keep going higher sowhen I pass it on, the next
person has to go higher than me.
And you go up so if you've got athree and a four in there, you
(37:13):
would always put it the highestway round.
So you'd say four and three.
So you go four and three, andthe next person would have to be
five and two.
The next person, six and one.
But what's higher than six?
So six and five would be thehighest sort of mixed one, but
then it would be double one,double two, double three, double
four, double five, double six.
And then the highest one, whichtechnically is the lowest, which
(37:35):
is two, and one is Maya.
So it's a bit like pontoon.
So 21, which is technically thelowest bit like ace can be high
or low.
21 would be the lowest you couldroll.
But actually that's the highest,that's the kind of magic one
that's called Maya and thegame's called Maya.
So you look in the dice pot andyou look and then you say what
it is and then you pass it on.
But you can lie.
(37:56):
So you could look in there andyou could say.
Four and five and the personbefore you had said four and
three and the person thinksyou're lying and they look in
there and you've got double sixand they'd lose a life because
you were lying but it washigher, if it's higher than you
win.
So it's a really fun game'causeyou're messing with people's
minds.
It's a bit like poker.
It's more about the the mindgames than it is about the luck.
(38:17):
Strategy.
So it's a really fun game, andthis is this gambling cup.
And I also associate it withpregnancy.
The when I was doing IVF, thiscame up a lot with pregnancy and
the potential.
It's a bit like trodding as cat.
This is the ruin of.
Potential that's, thatanything's possible.
And that is what I feel ishappening in the world at the
(38:38):
moment.
And this is what I was sharinglast night in the ceremony.
I'm sorry for anyone who was atthe ceremony who's listening to
this podcast.
They're like, I've heard allthis already.
I apologize.
But for those who haven't it'sreally an important key moment
in the world.
And this is not messing around.
This is not.
I don't mean this lightly.
(38:58):
This is serious stuff that I'msaying here, that this is all
made up.
We made up laws, we made up likepolitics.
The hierarchical structures,were gained through brute force.
They were gained through.
Narrative writing.
You see it in say Game ofThrones or something like this,
where there's the brute forceelement, but there's always that
(39:22):
slimy.
The character you like least isthe one who's changing the
narrative and Trump's doing itnow.
Dawn who's um, shout out to Dawnwho's was at the ceremony last
night, was talking about Trumpclosing down or.
I dunno what it was that he wasdoing to this museum and I,
Samson's museum.
I can't remember what the nameof the museum was either.
(39:42):
It's really annoying.
I've been doing a very good jobof not watching world politics,
so I can't remember the details,but it was a museum about the
slave trade and about.
America's slave history and hewas trying to rewrite the
narrative and almost say itdidn't happen.
And my aunt and uncle have beento Auschwitz recently and they
said that they went round thetour and they were surprised at
(40:04):
how dry and.
Almost, not dull, but just veryfactual.
The tour was because at the endof it, they said a really large
majority of people who come herenow no longer believe that the
Holocaust happened, and so weare no longer like trying to
make it interesting or morehuman with the stories in the
way that they used to.
(40:24):
They're now just getting thefacts drummed into people so
that they can go away and say.
This many people died.
This happened.
This was how they were killed.
This is what they did.
This was the dates, and it'slike boom.
So that people can be as clearas possible that it is true.
And it's not just like someanecdotal story.
It is like, no f these are thenumbers of what happened.
(40:46):
And yeah, Trump's trying torewrite the narrative at the
moment.
And in any TV show, filmstoryline, it's the, it's those
wormy, slimy.
People that are whispering inthe ear going you could do it
like this and it could be putlike this.
And if you look at it from thisangle, then everything's fine
for you to do this.
And they're like, oh yeah, Icould take that man's wife, or I
(41:07):
could.
And it's that slime bag that'sthe one that we all hate.
And bit like the journalists,the whole archetype of a slimy
journalist, like the piggyjournalists in spitting image
that were all pigs and.
They do, they'll do anything tomess, screw someone over and get
a good story and all that kindof stuff.
A lot of journalists areabsolutely brilliant, and I
wouldn't say most journalistslike that, that, journalism's a
(41:29):
hard gig these days because thenarrative is being so
controlled.
It's not really the journaliststhese days, it's the people who
own the papers that are the onesthat are the pigs.
And it is, the narrative iseverything.
There's an amazing book calledactive Hope by Joanna.
Something.
Oh, I've forgot her surname.
Oh, that's mad.
I've always known her name.
(41:50):
I was gonna say her name wasJoanna Hope, but it's not,
that's the name.
But Active Hope by Joanna Macy.
Joanna Macy, that's it.
And she is an activist, butshe's a She's gone into the sort
of therapy side of things likesupporting activists with
burnout and Active Hope is abook for people who are feeling
burnt out from their activism.
And she's talking about howit's, there's a three-pronged
(42:13):
attack and it's vital that wekeep doing it and that we are
all relevant.
In fact, there's two threepronged things here.
So there's the, we need thescientists, we need the people
who are.
Doing the discoveries that areexploring ways of getting fungus
to eat plastic or fungus thatwill eat up oil in the sea, or
(42:34):
ways of making solar panels orall of the things that we need
people to be doing to try andfind different ways of doing
things so that we get ourselvesout of the mess that we're in.
We need those people.
We need the.
Governance, politician,businessmen, people to be, in
the infrastructure, in the lawmaking, like doing the things to
(42:55):
try and change, corporationCEOs, that stuff, we need all of
that.
Those are both key things weneed, but we also need the
storytellers.
We need the artists, we need thecreatives to be writing new
narratives that inspire andexcite.
And where I see that being atthe forefront at the moment is
in the folk revival scene.
The right to Rome is full ofmoming and'cause it's working
(43:18):
class stories, it's community'cause also.
We are way more socialists whenwe are in community.
The Tories know this.
The Tories will do anything theycan to stop community, and
that's why the arts are notfunded when Tories are in
because the arts is all aboutstrengthening community and
bringing people together andcreating connection and.
And we have it here'cause we'vegot a load of libertines and
(43:41):
wealthy people here that arecompletely against any kind of
social state, join thegovernment.
And then they're dealing withthe fact that so and so down the
road who they know is in areally dire situation, something
awful has happened and we needto do something to help them.
And how are you going to not dothat?
How are you gonna look them inthe eye or their family in the
eye when you all live amongsteach other and not do that when
(44:03):
you are in community?
You help each other out, it'sjust a given.
And people will help you out.
Like even if you are one ofthese self-centered,
self-serving rich twats peoplewill still help you out.
And so it means that you can'tcontinue to be, oh no, it's all
everyone for themselves.
And, and that's reallyinspiring.
(44:23):
And so this whole kind ofresurgence of community art and
folk art and folk connectionmeans that people are coming
together and we're doing maydaycelebrations and we're doing,
old folk traditions that, thatare for just the common people.
And it's not about high art,it's not about being
well-trained or, you've gotta beable to do this perfectly.
It's about doing it in a reallyad hoc, panto e, low grade way.
(44:47):
But actually it's for us andit's deeply rooted and it's
normally very connected to theland as well.
That's why I see it's happeningin the narrative.
It and it's land worship andnature worshiping.
So there's the reverence thereand that deep appreciation that
we need to rekindle and connectin appreciation in each other,
in community and appreciation innature and the land.
(45:07):
It's juicy stuff.
This is real juicy stuff.
And this is what thisSchrodinger's thing is all
about.
Like we need to really believethe potential that anything's
possible and that we need tomake it happen.
And, the three things that shetalks about within this
psychology thing.
So the prong attack of thepsychology of it is that you
have business as usual, which isthat, nothing's going on,
(45:28):
nothing's wrong.
There is no eco disaster.
There is no impending doom.
I think we can all see that'snot true, The second one is that
we can do something about it.
Something is going on and wefully have the power to do
something about it.
And the third one is, we're allfucked and there's nothing we
can do about it.
And if you were to look at thenarratives that are put out
there and what the story is fromthe naked slimy bastards that
(45:52):
are.
Controlling these things.
The narrative is business asusual or we're fucked.
But if you think about it, likethe bit in the middle is the
really big bit, that's theactual bit that we are in and is
vast because we're so far frombusiness as usual.
That has not been the casesince.
I, Lisa Simpson was saying itwhen she came out in the
(46:12):
eighties, and I was saying it inthe eighties as a little Lisa
Simpson, myself and WWF and.
Not the wrestling, the wildlifefund and all of these things
were all there saying from along time ago that we can't
carry on the way we are.
And that business as usual isnot a thing.
That the, this is also, it's notbusiness as usual.
This is a tiny little glitch anda little moment that's happening
(46:34):
where we are suddenly behavinglike this.
It's only been since theindustrial revolution and.
It has been nothing butdetrimental to our health and
wellbeing and the planet'shealth and wellbeing since it
began.
And it doesn't mean that wethrow it all out and throw it
all away, but we definitely needto bring back some of the things
we did throw away and balancethis out a bit because this is
(46:55):
not, this is just dirt.
It's dirty, it's toxic, it'sdestructive, and we can have all
the perks of it.
Without the dirt anddestruction, it's actually
possible you can still becomfortable in your house and
have all the lovely thingswithout it being at the
detriment of everything,including yourself.
(47:15):
And that we have this likemiddle space that is vast where
we can do something about it,right?
But that never gets mentioned.
That's, that doesn't exist.
But within ourselves, it's notlike you are one.
Or the other of these thingswithin our day, we have to go
around being business as usual.
Sometimes you have to fly.
Sometimes you know, you've gottaget in your car, you've gotta go
(47:36):
about your day, you're bringingup kids.
You've just gotta act normal.
You've gotta get on with yourlife.
Then sometimes you're like,right now I need to do something
about this.
I'm gonna fill in that petition.
I'm gonna go on that protest.
I'm gonna challenge my boss.
I'm gonna challenge the NHS inhow the medical profession is
running.
Things I'm gonna like.
Question this, I'm gonnaquestion like, sometimes you
just gotta do it.
You've gotta, you've gotta doit.
(47:56):
You've gotta stand up for thething that you believe in, and
then other times you arecompletely full of despair and
you're like, we're completelyfucked.
And it was useful to hear thatbecause as someone who, has done
a lot of stuff to do with ecoactivism and will continue be
continually be doing, so I amsometimes completely lost and
we're fucked, and it's reallydesperate.
And sometimes I've gotta justcrack on and do business as
(48:17):
usual, and I've gotta dosomething that I wouldn't.
I technically want to do, but Ihave to, I have to, it's life.
I live on an island, I have tofly, things like that, Sometimes
you've gotta do these things.
and we just, you dip into all ofthem.
So we are dipping in and out ofthings all the time, and
narrative writing is key.
So this Schrodinger's cat, thispotential is what is in the box.
(48:40):
So is there a thriving futurewhere we all exist, or is it
that we are at the beginning ofArmen and we're completely
screwed?
It's up to you to decide.
You decide what's in that box.
You are the one who's gonna takethe gamble.
Are you gonna gamble for we'refucked or are you gonna gamble
(49:01):
for, we can do something aboutthis?
Or are you gambling for businessas usual?
Everything's fine.
It's up to you.
And you are AIX in the picture.
So the more of us that are the.
We can do something about thispixel, the more that's the
picture, and that's how youchange the world.
So you just crack on with you,be your archetype.
Stand in your being, being yourpower, owning your.
(49:24):
Atmosphere your color in the therainbow of the symphony of this
image.
You are your note.
You are your color, you are yoursparkle in the picture, and
within it, you choose what thatpixel does is that pixel in
despair, is that pixel.
Just gonna go about business asusual, or is that Pixel gonna do
something about it?
(49:46):
What are you?
And you do that.
And then we'll see.
It's a bit, it is like a gamewhere we're all gonna put our
cards down on the table andwe'll see which one wins.
And that's how it's create willbe created.
So what are you gonna create?
What future are you gonnacreate?
What reality are you gonnacreate?
Are you creating a reality wherewe thrive and where the world is
(50:06):
in harmony and bliss?
And.
Exciting and thriving and justfull of potential, or are we
screwed and heading towards ourdemise.
So the choice is yours, and thatbrings us onto the Chaos
Crusade.
(50:33):
So the Chaos Crusade for thisweek is, I am.
I'm doing a spring clean at themoment and I'm finding it really
useful for my head.
And it might be something thatyou might want to do yourselves
for just helping yourself insome way.
So I would do this.
(50:53):
It's just been the full moon.
You could do it for the lunarcycle, you could do it for a
week.
It's up to you how long youwanna do it till or till the
dark moon.
I'm doing 40 days where I'mdoing a thing each day towards
the thing that I want.
So it could be that you want towrite a book.
what I'm doing is springcleaning and I'm doing a thing
each day for 40 days where I'm,I'm cleaning a bit of the house
(51:16):
and I, yeah, so each day we'redoing a bit of spring cleaning.
So me and my husband are doingit and we're picking a thing to
do.
So cleaning out the wardrobe,cleaning out the cupboards,
cleaning the fireplace,something like that.
So it's doing something over aperiod of time where you just do
a bit each day and it just helpsyou to get there, whatever it is
(51:36):
that you need to do to getthere.
And that's what I would like tosuggest for your case crew.
So,'cause I'm finding it reallyuseful for just getting things
done.
So that's my offering and I hopethat's of use to you.
And yeah, I shall see you againnext week.
And.
Keep it.
Just keep up the good work.
Whatever it is you're doing, letyour heart be as light as a
(51:58):
feather and just forgiveyourself for anything that feels
cumbersome or making mistakes,forgive, forget.
Move on and keep going.
Alright, love you.
Take care.
I shall see the anon.
The.
Welcome to The Nonsense in theChaos.
I'm your host Jolie Rose.
Last night we held a online moonceremony for the Libra of Full
Moon, and this was a reallyspecial moon for me because
Libra is ruled by Venus and I'mruled by Venus.
(00:21):
She's my archetype and.
Venus Station Direct as well onSunday, which is a very unusual
astrology signature.
for a planet to station directat the same time as the moon
goes full in the sign that thisplanet rules is really unusual
(00:44):
and it's felt like.
An empowering moment for thefem, the feminine the response
to the Aries energy and the Marsenergy that we had earlier in
the year.
the astrology at the moment isjust crazy.
Is there any way to put it?
Especially when you're lookingat the world stage and what's
playing out on the world stage,and then how the astrology is.
(01:06):
Mirroring it or it fits, is theway to put it.
And we have, so we had themoment that Venus started going
retrograde, and the last timethis had happened with her going
retrograde in Aries was the lasttime that Trump got in.
And when she started to goretrograde was when Trump's
inauguration happened.
So both times were Trump'sinaugurations, and that's quite
(01:27):
amazing that was the case.
And Venus had gone retrograde inAries, which Mars had been
retrograde in Aries earlier.
So Mars was retrograde in Ariesand it was like the absolute,
most toxic masculinity you canget, Mars being retrograde in
Aries is.
All of the masculine being as,yeah, as awful as it can
(01:48):
basically.
And then you had Venus thenresponding to it with Mercury
alongside her.
And Mercury is the planet ofcommunication.
And so it's a bit like amegaphone supporting whatever's
happening with amplifying themessaging or the messaging
that's getting out.
So we had Venus going retrogradewith Mercury alongside, and so
(02:09):
whatever, like thedemonstrations and everything's
been amplified with the supportof Mercury.
And then on Sunday Saturdaynight, one in the morning, so
technically Sunday Venus directsat the same time as me going
full.
So it felt like this real momentof reclamation and.
(02:29):
Surging of feminine power andyeah, just, it's a key moment
and I had a really.
Very powerful moon ceremony andalso came on my bleed.
And so today I am very fuzzy.
I'm very fuzzy, and it's justtaken me ages to get myself
together, to do this, to do therecording.
(02:50):
Today, it's Monday and that'sreally late for me to be doing
the recording, and then I've gota really busy week ahead of me,
but this is the moment I can doit.
My aunt and uncle are over.
And it's been lovely to havethem here because it has
coincided with my bleed and themoon, which is an opportunity
for me to stop and not be quiteso focused on the government and
(03:13):
belting arrangements.
it's been good.
They've all happened at the sametime because I've had a couple
of days of doing lovely touristythings with my aunts and uncle
and moon ceremonies and eatingnice food and things like that.
So that's all worked out ratherwell.
And I took my uncle to theDolman today in Little Suck and
I took them to D Harwood andthey saw the blue bells.
(03:34):
The blue bells were in fullswing.
I've never seen so many bluebells.
It's this is a bumpy year.
I'm hoping they'll all still behere for the festival they might
have gone over, but you can'tcontrol nature.
Nature will do what she wantsand yeah.
I did this ceremony last nightand it felt really special and
the focus was on'cause Libra isthe scales, but rather than it
(04:00):
being balance, I feel like it'sabout your heart being as light
as a feather.
So it's not about judgment, it'sabout clarity.
And we did a meditation lastnight where I led the.
Participants into a, into theGreat pyramid the Great Pyramid
Chamber, central chamber, andwent down into this dark space
(04:22):
and it glowed with the greenlight of the Cyrus and reentered
his chamber.
And the Cyrus was there and hehad the feather and an UBA
stepped out from the shadowswith the jackal head, and he
held the scales out in frontand.
Cyrus placed the feather on thescale and then we all reached
(04:44):
our hands to our hearts and tookour hearts out as glittering red
jewels covered in facets.
And we placed that on the otherhalf of the scale.
And I asked to observe whetheryour heartfelt as light as a
feather and if it doesn't whatneeds taking out so that it
does, so we.
(05:05):
Stroked along the facets andthey became petals rose petals,
black rose petals.
And we took them off the scaleand acknowledged what they were.
For me, my three rose petalswere, always being money and
time scarce.
I'm always busy and I'm alwaysskin, and it has been this way
for 20 years.
(05:26):
It's been this way since I was achild, since I left home, and my
circumstances are completelydifferent now.
I live in a different place,different surroundings.
My work's changed, and yet I'mstill in the same situation and
I feel the same.
So the constant is me.
I took that petal and I put itin my hand, and then I took the
next petal, which was peoplepleasing and fomo, feeling left
(05:49):
out feeling misunderstood, notbeing liked, which has been an
unusual experience.
That has really only happenedsince I moved here because in
the UK I've done a very good jobof only surrounding myself with
like-minded people and yeah,people who have my back and who
thought I was great and werefriends basically, who were
(06:10):
vibrating on the same frequencyas me and then moved to here
where we are a real mixed bag ofpeople and it's challenging
'cause you are sometimes, inamongst people that don't get on
with you and.
Just friendship groups movearound all the time and people
can be really bitter and twistedand beige and they have to.
Yeah, you just have to navigateit all and it's interesting, but
(06:33):
it's constant and there's enoughpeople that are exciting and fun
and interesting and colorful andsparkly for it all to be fine,
but you are not able to avoidthose that don't fit your tribe.
We are all here together and,yeah, it's interesting.
I feel like if I was a man.
I would be liked more.
Part of it is that I'm a womanand it's a very chauvinistic
(06:55):
place.
So yeah, if I was a man, thegirls would love me here, but
because I'm a woman, the girlsreally don't like me.
They find me threatening, sothat's fine.
It's just the way it is and Idon't care.
So I took that rose petal off.
I do care.
That's why I took the rose petaloff'cause it does weigh on my
heart.
And the last one was, yeah, mykind of.
The fight that I'm in, which isa good thing and I don't wanna
(07:18):
not be doing it, but it alsodoes weigh on me'cause it's
tiring and it takes out of me.
And that is the fractal ness ofthe world.
So there, I can't reach Trump,but there are Trump elements in
the world in front of me.
There are people that are usinghis tactics that are.
Using his language that arefollowing his lead and they are
(07:43):
in front of me.
So no, I can't reach Trump itseems, but I can negotiate with
fight against work to bringaround those in front of me who
have his energy fractallyflowing through them.
And this is what I think.
We all should think about doingand concentrate on is the bigger
(08:04):
picture is overwhelming and adistraction purposefully but in
front of you there are elementsof all of the bigger picture,
all of the, it is fractal.
All of the facets of the bigjewel are all a in you.
There's a bit of Trump in all ofand also in the world that we
are creating around us.
(08:25):
'cause we create our worlds.
So we have created an element ofTrump in the world around us and
for us to work with that.
How do we feel about that?
What do we wanna, how do wewanna challenge it?
How do we wanna stand up againstit?
Have we the capacity to do that?
How can we develop the capacityto do it?
How do we do it?
(08:46):
it's a puzzle, but I took thatpedal off and so I've jumped
ahead.
'cause basically I took thepedals off and they were black
pedals, the things that wereweighing my heart.
So you kept doing that until thescales were balanced.
And then I took those pedalswith me and I stepped out of the
pyramid and into the light, andthey turned to these jeweled red
petals.
And they, and it was that thesewere our medicine.
(09:07):
So they're our medicine.
How do we work with these?
So with the money, the scarcityof time and money.
Petal.
Either I need to do somethingabout it and change the way I
live my life because I've alwayslived my life this way and or
own it.
Own the fact that this is theway I exist.
That I am always, I, so I had areally interesting conversation,
(09:28):
my uncle today at the Doman.
So the Doman was built at thesame time as the pyramids and
it's Neolithic, 1500 BC and wesat there and he said I've just
always known that I'm not gonnabe rich.
And I had that conversation withyour aunt, when we got married.
I said, if you're hoping to getrich, then don't bother marrying
me.
(09:49):
'cause that's not happening.
I'm not about money, I don'tcare about money.
I just want to be able to besafe and secure and have a
family and to be able to lookafter them.
That's all I want.
I don't want more than that.
I just wanted to live a nicelife and have fun and enjoy
myself, and he's been a musicianall his life and he's had a good
time and they get on reallywell.
They've had a lovelyrelationship.
They've got three awesome kids,my cousins who are brilliant and
(10:11):
are brilliant fun and are livingtheir best lives, and they did
it.
They did exactly what they setout to do, which is really
wonderful.
And it was interesting because Irealized that actually part of
me had always thought that I wasgonna get rich because I've shot
for the stars.
I've always shot for the starsfrom they dot.
I've always been exceptionallylucky, but I also 100% thought I
(10:32):
was gonna be famous and Ithought I was gonna be a
successful famous artist.
And that's.
What I was aiming for.
I still am.
I always will be.
That's in me to own that part ofmyself, that I will always be
aiming for that.
But the reality is that I'm notthat and because I'm not that
I've got to live an amazinglife.
(10:54):
I haven't been trolled, Ihaven't been, at the center of
any controversy, I've never feltthreatened.
I've just been having the mostbalmy life, and I have and my
uncle said today, he's thememories at the end of your life
are, are are the real riches.
Like you could have all themoney in the world and have had
a really banal, unpleasant,boring life.
(11:15):
And so money doesn't buy youmemories, money doesn't buy you.
Ridiculous situations.
I've been in so many absolutelyhilarious, ridiculous situations
where I'm just like, even by mystandards, that was mental and
that's happened to me.
I.
Nonstop my whole life.
And that's wonderful.
And I love it.
I love having mad experiencesand some of them have been from
(11:40):
hedonism, some of them have beenfrom theater, some of them have
been from traveling living on amad lit island where I'm
suddenly in the government.
It's just.
Ongoing.
And it's'cause I keep saying yesto life and I wish that I got to
live a million lives and I onlyget this one, so I'm gonna live
it to the max.
So that means I will always betime scarce and busy and
(12:02):
exhausted and I am poor and Iwill always be poor.
I'm not gonna get rich.
That's not gonna happen.
Not really.
I mean it might, but I'll keepliving.
Into it.
I'll keep shooting for the starsbecause it seems to do a good
job of getting me into funnysituations.
So I'll keep that up.
But it's just, there's somethingquite relaxing about owning the
(12:24):
fact that I'm.
Skin and that's that it wasjust, yeah, it felt relaxing to
take that.
So yeah, it's taking thesepetals and owning it as
medicine.
It's the same with the FOMO orpeople not liking you.
One of the most useful bits ofmedicine that I heard in recent
years was that you can't controlother people's feelings and that
(12:46):
you are not responsible for themand.
That was a revelation to mebecause I'd just got out of a
toxic marriage where heabsolutely convinced me.
And yeah, I basically spent 13years being told that I was
responsible for his feelings andI was doing everything I could
(13:06):
to try and make him feel good.
And.
Nothing I did worked.
And then when I heard someonesay, you are not responsible for
someone else's feelings.
You are not in control of them,you can't control them.
It was such a revelation becauseI was like, of course I can't.
And I tried really hard and thatwas up to him.
It was up to him to stay foreverupset and angry and sad and all
(13:30):
the things that he felt like itwas horrible to witness.
And I didn't want him to feellike that.
But I couldn't do anything aboutit, and I tried so hard, and I
am here to tell you, you can'tdo anything about it.
Like it, no matter what I did,no matter how hard I tried, I
always let him down.
It was never good enough.
He had to, at some point decideto be happy and to make himself
(13:51):
happy.
And I couldn't do it.
And that was brilliant.
That was a revelation.
And it's to keep.
Learning that and rememberingthat and absorbing that.
In my life here, if people havegot a beef with me or don't like
me or whatever, then that's upto them.
It's totally their thing.
I can't do anything about it,and there's no point bending
over backwards or trying toplease them and trying to win
(14:13):
them over.
Just, it's their, that's theirproblem.
It's not your problem.
Just get on with your own life.
And then, and also you, most ofthe time you're guessing that's
how they feel anyway.
You've got no idea what'sactually going on in their
world.
stop bothering with all of that.
What other people think of youis not any of your business.
And the last one.
The fight.
Yeah.
This fractal thing.
It's important.
I want to learn how to stand upagainst.
(14:36):
Authority that I, that feelsdominating and domineering and
threatening.
I want to stand up againstfascism.
I want to stand up againstpatriarchy and injustice and
inequality and unfairness, andI'm doing it on a small scale
right in front of me, in my tinylittle rock, in my tiny little
government, and it feels like,I'm doing what I can here.
(14:59):
Where I am and that will feedthrough the mycelium network of
the cosmos to reach the, whatfeels like the top of the tree.
But it's all one anyway, thetree's all one thing, so it
might feel like I'm down in theroots, but it's still part of
the tree.
And actually the roots are whatfeed to the tree.
What's right in front of me Ineed to work with, and and I'm
(15:19):
doing it.
I'm doing it.
So with all of it is owning it.
This is the medicine.
These are your quests.
The quests die on question.
What questions you are asking.
What things that keep you up atnight?
The things that are troublingyou, they are the quests that
you are on.
So these petals are the thingsthat make my heart feel heavy,
but they're also the medicinebecause these are the challenges
in the game that you areplaying, which is the game of
(15:41):
life.
To take them and to hold themand for them to be your medicine
is really a key thing.
So that was lovely.
And then I had a sherah datewith the ladies my darling
friend Lee, who passed away in2020.
Sand crab.
He was a little sand crab nextto me, which I have next to me
to always think about him.
And he was a beautiful gay.
(16:03):
gorgeous, glittery, sweatylittle man who I loved dearly.
And he used to do this thingcalled a sherah date, where him
on his own or with his bestfriend Ro, they would have a
little date night where theywould just get completely off
their heads and dance around thebedroom like you did as a
teenage girl, singing songs andmaking up dance routines and
just entertaining themselves andjust loving their own company.
(16:24):
And this is something that Ireally enjoy doing.
I enjoy doing sherah dates.
Doing these podcasts is a bitlike doing a sherah date.
It's me.
Talking to myself in a room justlike la and I love that you are
here listening to me having thismad conversation.
And I never, I mean, I didn'treally know what I was gonna
talk about tonight.
Like I, I.
I sometimes try and plan whatI'm doing, but especially today,
I was just so fuzzy.
(16:45):
I just thought well, I'm I'mjust just gonna go for it and
I'll light some incense.
I've got some rose scentedincense.
I've got flowers behind me fromthe garden that all pink and
red.
And last night we did the same.
We drank cacao and ate roseflavored chocolate.
And I've got my rose scent inkand I was doing some scrying
where you get a bowl of milk andthen I'm dropping my red rose
cent ink into it and forming apattern.
(17:06):
And I'm teaching myself to dothis'cause I'm really good at.
Divination with tarot and ruins.
So I know what it feels like.
You're, you are not letting yourconscious mind get in the way.
You are just saying what whatyou see and feel.
Because we feel so much morelike we are intuitively knowing
so much more than we ever aresaying, or it's polite to say.
(17:26):
So if you do a reading forsomeone, basically you are
reading them as a person.
But because in polite society,you don't say, ah.
You are, you're clearlydepressed or I don't know, like
I can tell that you've had a lotof trauma in your life.
Like people give off vibes.
Like you can pick up so muchfrom someone really easily the
stage of life they're in.
(17:48):
You can feel them.
You can feel their desires andwants coming off of them.
And in fooling we name it.
So in fooling will as the foolsay, your dad was clearly in the
army, And it's shocking when youget it right, if you really hit
the nail on the head becausethat person's wow, how did you
do that?
And it's the same I think withmediums.
They just pick up things andthey'll be chucking stuff out
(18:11):
all the time.
And occasionally you'll saysomething that's just so spot on
for someone that it seems reallymad, but it's because you're
just picking.
Things up, you pick things up.
And so I'm trying to teachmyself to describe, but I'm
finding it a bit harder to do,but I'm enjoying the practice of
it.
So you got the milk and I'mdropping the red ink in and
asking a question and then justletting the answer come.
So you are looking at it, butit's more that it's just
(18:34):
distracting your brain.
And then you get to have acommunication with your self
subconscious mind.
And that's been, just reallyuseful to experiment with.
So you can scribe with mirrors.
So you can look in the mirrorand just look at the reflection
of the moon in the mirror orreflection of the moon in water,
for example.
And that's the same thing.
It's the same with tea leavesand yeah crystal balls.
(18:56):
So you're just letting your,it's a bit like doing a 3D,
those magic eye pictures whereyou're looking through it,
you're not really looking at it,and you are, you're just
distracting your brain enough tolet.
Your subconscious give you theanswer, and that's what you're
doing with Tarot and Rooms.
So I've been experimenting withthat as well over this full
moon.
And I'm gonna be doing that inthe Women's Circle on Tuesday
night, which is tomorrow night.
(19:17):
So, well, You've got a meancircle tomorrow night.
And I love that there's loads ofwomen who come to it and it's
lovely and.
This is the thing.
There's so much going on here.
My aunt and uncle have beenblown away.
We spent all of yesterday, Imade a delicious, no.
In fact, dizzle made a deliciousSunday roast.
I cleaned the house, but myYeah, darling husband Dizzle
made a delicious roast yesterdaywith meat that we'd won at the
(19:37):
meat drawer on Friday.
It's my aunt and uncle arrivedon Friday, went to the meat
drawer at the pub, one load ofmeat.
Both of us did.
So we had meat for the roast onSunday.
They had breakfast for the wholeweekend fry up and then we made
a roast and my friend Ash cameover and we just sat there.
And Ash is the judge.
He's my mate and he's the judge.
The island vice deputy senatorand I'm on the government and.
(20:00):
Dizzy's family have been here500 years and my aunt and uncle
just sat there while we werejust non, it was hours of us
regaling them whilst drinkinglots of wine with stories of the
island and the islanders and allthe madness that happens here.
And I said to them today, I waslike, God, I thought.
About it this morning.
We literally just talked to youabout the island for hours, and
(20:22):
they said, no, it was soentertaining and it's such a mad
place.
They love it.
They absolutely love it.
And they said, I can totally seewhy you live here and what you
love about it because it's just,it is so complex and.
Full of stuff and community'sfascinating.
It's really hard work, but it isfascinating and it's so funny
and I, I have a much broadersocial life here because in
(20:44):
Brighton, which you'd think,okay, so Brighton's just got so
much to do, which it did.
And I did loads.
I've always, I was involved inloads of clubs and groups and
things and doing stuff all thetime, but you're brought up with
your age group, aren't you?
And so my age group had.
Had kids and there was a handfulof us that didn't have kids.
And we were going to the samepub that we used to go to in our
twenties and most of the peoplethat were younger than us now,
(21:06):
and they didn't hang out with usand we're just knocking around
being the ones that didn't havekids.
And there's five or six, sevenof us, but there's not many of
us.
And it just felt a bit sad andtragic.
Here.
Everyone still goes to the pubs.
The parents are there with thekids, and the 20 year olds are
there and they hang out with youbecause there is no age gaps
between people.
All the different age groupsjust hang out with each other.
(21:28):
And then there's people whodidn't have kids.
There's people whose kids havenow grown up.
There's much older people whoare now grandparents, like we
are all in the pub together.
And so it doesn't stand out atall that I don't have children.
I hardly get.
Asked about it at all, itdoesn't get talked about because
it's sort of irrelevant.
Like you either have kids or youdon't.
You're either having them ornot.
It's just life's life and we'rejust all in the, amongst each
(21:50):
other and it's less obviouswhat's going on.
Yeah, it's interesting.
And I'm, yeah I can be out everyday and be around people, and I
can party every night if I wantto.
And.
It will be with a big differentmix of people.
It's different every night.
Dizz goes out every night, hegoes out more than me,
especially'cause I'm having adry year this year and he's with
different people every singlenight and goes to a different
(22:11):
house every night and ends up inall sorts of adventures and
being under the stars doingsomething or yeah, there's
always something going on.
So yeah, we've had a really funweekend showing Nigel and
Colette the madness of theisland, my aunt and uncle.
And now I'm gonna pull a If youenjoy this podcast, then please
(22:36):
would you be able to support itby either on Paton, which is
three pound a month for onetier, and that's just a.
Get the content that is likethings that I would put up on
Facebook and stuff like myYouTube videos and when the moon
ceremonies are happening and thearticles that I write, but it's
all in one place and I don'thave to search for it.
(22:57):
And it's like you saying thankyou and buying me a cup of tea
and a once a month.
Thank you for the podcast.
Or for nine pounds a month,there is the videos of the
podcast, which are nice and funto watch and a bit extra it's
nice to see the video as well,and.
If you aren't able to supportfinancially, then that isn't a
problem because it goes out forfree anyway and someone else is
(23:18):
paying and it means they'repaying for you to get a free
podcast.
But what would be wonderful, andI would really appreciate if you
were able to share about it andtell people about it, if you're
enjoying it, then other peoplemight do as well.
So if you could and also to giveit.
Rating.
I've, I only noticed today onSpotify that I had ten five star
ratings, which I was reallyexcited about.
So if you're one of the peoplewho've done that, thank you.
(23:41):
Really appreciate it.
So anywhere where you get yourpodcast, if you can review and
like it, that would be sowonderful and I would really
appreciate it.
And just tell people about it,share it on social media, and,
word of mouth I think is key.
So I'd really appreciate doingthat.
there's some offerings coming upin the not too distant future.
So Beltane is nearly sold out.
(24:01):
Loads of tickets have sold overthe weekend, so I dunno how many
we've got left yet.
It was 90 before.
The weekend, I reckon we'reprobably getting close to 50
tickets left, so that'sexciting.
That's on the 3rd of May and theexcitement is building.
We've got some amazing bits andBobs planned, can't wait.
So do come.
We've got incredible bands, somefrom the uk Jersey, Guernsey,
(24:23):
Sark, and then we've got.
Artists doing all sorts ofinstallations and walkabout.
We've got uk, UK performanceartists coming over.
It's gonna be a mad affair,burning a Wickerman dancing, the
Maypole Mama's plays.
It's Morris dancing, the wholeshebang.
And then we've got before thatthe Kooky Club, which in the
24th of April ties in with Beam,but it's a surprise.
(24:45):
Can't tell you anything moreabout it, but that is a secret
location, a secret guest and asecret chef.
And you get spoiled rotten.
You have delicious food.
And I interview this guest andwe have a conversation about art
and life and their journey.
And it's inspiring and it's anopportunity for people to just
sit and chat without it beingbooze related.
(25:07):
being able to instigate andinspire conversation in people,
and they're just wonderfulnights.
I, it's a privilege to be partof them and I feel spoiled
rotten going and doing themmyself.
And then.
We also have the, which fool areyou?
Workshops beginning at the endof May, and this is where you
get to work with your archetypeand you get to know your
(25:27):
archetype and having just comeout of a full mean ceremony.
Having worked with my archetype,Venus, I honestly.
It is so hard to get across howvaluable this work is, but it's
so valuable and it's so rich.
I was talking about the Rosepath and the Mary Magdalene
path, and following the Venus.
(25:49):
Journey with the people in themoon ceremony, and this is a
whole world you can go andresearch and look into.
So there's a book by LisaLister, it's called Venus, that
I recommend, and it's anothercycle to follow.
So I was saying to them, Ifollow the solar, the sun, so
cycle with the sabbaths, whichis things like Beltane and the
summer solstice and the equinoxsays.
That I do outside with people.
(26:11):
I physically go and do thingswith people for them.
The moon ceremonies and the mooncycles I follow with people
online and that's doing the fullmoon and the dark moon and I
really enjoy doing them andthey're, it's a really nice way
to connect and I actually thinkzoom's a great format for it.
And then you go outside andspend some time in the moon
yourself.
But it just feels like a reallyspecial way to definitely check
in every two weeks.
(26:31):
And I clean the house and I makethe house into a sacred space
and I connect in with the mean.
The Venus cycle is more of apersonal journey, so this is a
cycle of follow on my own.
And this is working with thejourneys.
She goes up through the chakrapoints and then goes through a
retrograde and then goes backdown through the chakra points
into the underworld.
And it's us going on thisjourney of like self.
(26:52):
Like development and devotionand taking ourselves apart and
rebuilding ourselves, which wedo each month with our menstrual
cycle.
So it's this building up anddeconstructing and I've only
just started working with it, soI'm describing it like this now,
but I'm sure in.
A few years time,'cause it's aneight year cycle, I'll be
feeling differently about it andI'll have more of an
understanding of it.
(27:12):
But this path is called the MaryMagdalene Rose Path.
'cause Mary Magdalene was apriestess who was a disciple of
Jesus, but she'd been a paganpriestess prior to that.
And she was a Venus priestessand she knew how to hold
ceremony, which is why in theBible.
She pours the oil on Jesus,which is the most sacred part of
(27:34):
a coronation, and it's the onlybit that's not allowed to be
reviewed or watched.
And, when she does it in theBible, the disciples are like,
why are you wasting that oil?
What do you think you're doing?
And Jesus says, no, she knowswhat she's doing, which shows
that she knew how to anoint andanoint a king, which meant that
she was a religious leaderherself.
He was able to do that, but itwas the pagan faith.
And her gospel was removed fromthe Bible and there were several
(27:58):
gospels removed that were.
All of them were the ones thatsaid that we were all God, that
God was within us.
That we were all part of God,which is the way I totally see
things like I, I call it theuniverse.
They call it God.
The way I feel about it is thatwe are just one thing
experiencing itself through allthese different facets.
And that within us is all of it.
(28:19):
It's the masculine and thefeminine and all the different
aspects like Trump and all thedifferent things, but we are
all, God, this is what God isthe universe.
And it might be a computer game,it might be a play, it might be
whatever.
But that's what this thing is.
It's God and we are it.
And that's what these gospelssaid.
And they're the ones that gotremoved.
So it's a really sacred.
Path and initiation and journey,and this is me working with my
(28:43):
archetype of Venus.
There are all sorts of otherthings out there that are
different archetypes that youcould be working with, that you
could be developing.
For example I'm obviouslysurrounded by a lot of people
who are fools and tricksters andthey're working with Jonathan K
in the fall, and then there'sthe full, the tarot, and then
there's.
Punch in Judy and Panto andmama's plays and that whole
(29:04):
lineage.
So when you know what yourarchetype is, there's like a
whole juicy, meaty world thatyou belong to, and there's no
end to the development of yourrelationship to it.
And it doesn't mean save yourarchetype is.
Eris the goddess of discord,right?
You've got Discordian.
That's a whole amazing, coolthing, Doesn't mean you can't
(29:26):
explore.
Venus doesn't also mean that youdon't have a bit of Venus in you
as well.
A lot of people have a mixtureof archetypes.
Some people have a really clear,strong one, but some people are
a mixture.
I have three, so I, my, mystrongest one is Venus, but I
also have ing the fertility,creativity, God, which I see as
very camp.
He's the kind of David Bowie outin John.
(29:48):
Freddie Mercury vibe.
That's how I read him as.
And within me, I have a gay man.
Like I feel I am trans in a waybecause I feel like I've got a
gay man in my body.
And that's very much what our,my marriage with my husband's
based on.
So I've got ing and then I'vealso got Heti, the Triple
Goddess, which is the MotherCronin child.
(30:09):
And I'm not any of those things.
I'm not a mother and I'm notCronin, I'm not a child, but I
really connect with and resonatewith all three of those things.
There's a bit of me that seemslike an old woman.
There's a bit of me that seemslike a mother.
There's a bit of me that seemslike a child and.
Yeah that I work with all threeof them.
They're all, oh, and the Warrioras well.
Actually the warrior is a fourthone that is sort of all of them.
(30:30):
I, that's almost like a washover all of them.
So yeah, I've been working withall of these.
To develop them, get to knowthem, spend time with them, and
each year I just read where I'mat as to what I wanna work with
for the next witch.
Full you cycle.
And then most other people,it's, they're doing it for the
first time and they'll connectwith their archetype for that
(30:50):
journey if you've done itbefore.
I would recommend doing itagain, and you can go in deeper
with the one that you've alreadyexplored, or you could explore a
different aspect of yourself anda different archetype.
And I'd be happy to work outdeals for you to do that.
Like we could talk about what'spossible for you with doing
that.
But it's.
Juicy.
It's the juiciest work that Ido.
(31:10):
So if you're interested in anyof this, then do let me know.
We'll be beginning that in theend of May, and it will be for a
Luna Cycle.
And it's all done online, soanyone can join in with that.
so that's all of my offerings.
Thank you.
And on with the show.
(31:37):
Oh yeah.
So in front of me, I've got tworings already.
Now, these rings I pulled lastnight for the ceremony.
And these are the two rings thatI'm going to create a medicine
line.
This was something that we didin the ceremony, I thought.
Just was a really powerful bitof magic that we can do.
So I pulled runes for everybodybecause once we'd done this
(31:58):
petal meditation, we had a whitestone, which we held onto and
we, the things that we wanted tolet go of that made our hearts
feel heavy, we filled the whitestone with, and then in our left
hand, and then with our righthand with a black stone.
We filled it up with themedicine, with the things that
(32:18):
we wanna take forward with thethings that we want to develop.
And then I pulled rooms foreveryone and it broke everyone's
brain that I did it that wayround colorwise.
And hand wise, the reason why Idid that is'cause when I was
doing sisterhood and touringsisterhood I was doing it the
other way round, which is theobvious way around.
And a woman whose partner wasblack said, why is black always
seen as the darkness and thenegative?
(32:38):
Why is it not the other wayaround?
And I was like, actually, youare right.
That's really interesting.
And swapped it.
And it kept just completelytripping people up.
It really messed with theirbrains.
But our most powerful ceremonywas then with a woman of color
in the.
Group with us.
And it just felt so powerful tobe doing it the other way
around, and for her to hear thatand for us to not just be
(32:59):
saying, oh, black's bad, it isthe darkness and the shadow.
yeah, I just think.
'cause also what came out fromour conversation about it last
night is these are like the dotsin the yin and yang.
'cause you have a white.in theblack fish and you have a
black.in the white fish.
And it's a bit like with thesolstice, like it's an amazing
thing that.
It's the summer solstice andit's the longest day of the
(33:20):
year, but there's the touch ofsadness that the days are now
gonna get shorter.
And the same with the wintersolstice.
It's the short day of the year,but there's a touch of lightness
in that it's gonna get lighterand that we, these are almost
like the dots and also themedicine.
Like I said, when I pulled thesepetals out, these are the things
that make my heart heavy.
But these are also the medicine,quite often it's working against
the grain.
(33:40):
It's going against the grain ofwhat you normally do with
performing, because my archetypeis Venus is this sexy, trumpet
sexy goddess.
If I'm playing Venus, then it'slike I don't really believe my
archetype enough, and so I am.
Almost trying too hard to be itrather than just owning it.
Whereas what's really fun is ifI play a really dirty, gross old
(34:03):
man, and then when I'm likedoing that as Venus it feels
like, it's a given that I'msexy, but this sexy lady is
playing this disgusting pervyold man.
And it's funnier.
It's much funnier and much morepowerful and much more
empowered.
Then it is trying to be sexy.
'cause you're never gonna befull blown Aphrodite.
'cause you're just immortal formof her on earth.
(34:25):
But as Aphrodite fully like,yeah, I know I've got this in
me.
I don't need to prove it toanyone.
I can be a dirty old man.
It works really well.
I.
So there's something aboutworking against the grain.
These things are your medicine.
They might seem like the thingsthat are making your heart
heavy, but actually they're thethings that are being presented
in the game and the quest thatyou are in the storyline.
The narrative that are theinteresting adventure that
(34:46):
you're on.
They're the take this ring tomortal moments.
Like these are the things thatyou are questing with.
And did that with these stonesand put these rooms on them.
And we are now gonna take themto somewhere, anywhere we want.
To create a pilgrimage where wetake ourselves on a little
pilgrimage and we put one at thebeginning, which is the one that
we're, the thing that's heavythat we're letting go of, and we
put that at the beginning andthen we'll walk with intention
(35:08):
to wherever the end of thatline's gonna be.
You decide, it could be justacross your bedroom.
It could be in your favoritepark, it could be somewhere in
the countryside.
It can be wherever you want.
It is up to you.
It's literally up to you whereyou want to take it.
But you place the first one downat one end, and then you carry
the other one and walk with itto the other m and you place it
down.
And then you've created amedicine line that even if the
(35:29):
stones disappear, like you'velet them go they're gone.
You then.
Whenever you want to think aboutthe themes of either the rooms
or what the things were thatyou, the petals you took from
the pyramid, you go and walkwith them and you go and walk
that medicine line andcontemplate it.
And it just felt like that was areally useful thing.
I know where I'm gonna do thewalk.
(35:50):
I'm gonna do it tomorrow.
I'll be with my aunt and uncle,but I'll know what I'm doing and
I'm sure while I'm with them,I'll be, the conversations will
come out about what it is thatI'm doing.
And that will forever be there.
And I will also be able to talkto my aunt and uncle along that
line, even if they don't, evenif they're not around anymore,
I'll always have them with me.
And it's just a place for me totalk and to, to myself and
(36:10):
connect in with these things.
And over the years they'llchange.
The meaning of the rooms willchange.
And yeah, my room, the first onewas o which is community.
And that is for me here, likethe biggest sort of.
Head screw there is, like myissues in life are all to do
with the community in this neverending conversation about how to
share space.
(36:31):
And then the medicine is beingdirect and being clear about
what I want.
And that's, so if ever I need toclear my head about.
Whatever's going on on thisisland, I can just go do this
walk and clear my head and thatwould be really useful.
So let's see what re we pull andthe universe wants to share.
So this is Lots Cup.
This is the gambling cup.
(36:53):
We play a game at Kentwellcalled Maya, where you hover a
cup with two Dyson dye in andyou shake them and you roll them
and you look inside and the gameis that you.
You wanna keep going higher sowhen I pass it on, the next
person has to go higher than me.
And you go up so if you've got athree and a four in there, you
(37:13):
would always put it the highestway round.
So you'd say four and three.
So you go four and three, andthe next person would have to be
five and two.
The next person, six and one.
But what's higher than six?
So six and five would be thehighest sort of mixed one, but
then it would be double one,double two, double three, double
four, double five, double six.
And then the highest one, whichtechnically is the lowest, which
(37:35):
is two, and one is Maya.
So it's a bit like pontoon.
So 21, which is technically thelowest bit like ace can be high
or low.
21 would be the lowest you couldroll.
But actually that's the highest,that's the kind of magic one
that's called Maya and thegame's called Maya.
So you look in the dice pot andyou look and then you say what
it is and then you pass it on.
But you can lie.
(37:56):
So you could look in there andyou could say.
Four and five and the personbefore you had said four and
three and the person thinksyou're lying and they look in
there and you've got double sixand they'd lose a life because
you were lying but it washigher, if it's higher than you
win.
So it's a really fun game'causeyou're messing with people's
minds.
It's a bit like poker.
It's more about the the mindgames than it is about the luck.
(38:17):
Strategy.
So it's a really fun game, andthis is this gambling cup.
And I also associate it withpregnancy.
The when I was doing IVF, thiscame up a lot with pregnancy and
the potential.
It's a bit like trodding as cat.
This is the ruin of.
Potential that's, thatanything's possible.
And that is what I feel ishappening in the world at the
(38:38):
moment.
And this is what I was sharinglast night in the ceremony.
I'm sorry for anyone who was atthe ceremony who's listening to
this podcast.
They're like, I've heard allthis already.
I apologize.
But for those who haven't it'sreally an important key moment
in the world.
And this is not messing around.
This is not.
I don't mean this lightly.
(38:58):
This is serious stuff that I'msaying here, that this is all
made up.
We made up laws, we made up likepolitics.
The hierarchical structures,were gained through brute force.
They were gained through.
Narrative writing.
You see it in say Game ofThrones or something like this,
where there's the brute forceelement, but there's always that
(39:22):
slimy.
The character you like least isthe one who's changing the
narrative and Trump's doing itnow.
Dawn who's um, shout out to Dawnwho's was at the ceremony last
night, was talking about Trumpclosing down or.
I dunno what it was that he wasdoing to this museum and I,
Samson's museum.
I can't remember what the nameof the museum was either.
(39:42):
It's really annoying.
I've been doing a very good jobof not watching world politics,
so I can't remember the details,but it was a museum about the
slave trade and about.
America's slave history and hewas trying to rewrite the
narrative and almost say itdidn't happen.
And my aunt and uncle have beento Auschwitz recently and they
said that they went round thetour and they were surprised at
(40:04):
how dry and.
Almost, not dull, but just veryfactual.
The tour was because at the endof it, they said a really large
majority of people who come herenow no longer believe that the
Holocaust happened, and so weare no longer like trying to
make it interesting or morehuman with the stories in the
way that they used to.
(40:24):
They're now just getting thefacts drummed into people so
that they can go away and say.
This many people died.
This happened.
This was how they were killed.
This is what they did.
This was the dates, and it'slike boom.
So that people can be as clearas possible that it is true.
And it's not just like someanecdotal story.
It is like, no f these are thenumbers of what happened.
(40:46):
And yeah, Trump's trying torewrite the narrative at the
moment.
And in any TV show, filmstoryline, it's the, it's those
wormy, slimy.
People that are whispering inthe ear going you could do it
like this and it could be putlike this.
And if you look at it from thisangle, then everything's fine
for you to do this.
And they're like, oh yeah, Icould take that man's wife, or I
(41:07):
could.
And it's that slime bag that'sthe one that we all hate.
And bit like the journalists,the whole archetype of a slimy
journalist, like the piggyjournalists in spitting image
that were all pigs and.
They do, they'll do anything tomess, screw someone over and get
a good story and all that kindof stuff.
A lot of journalists areabsolutely brilliant, and I
wouldn't say most journalistslike that, that, journalism's a
(41:29):
hard gig these days because thenarrative is being so
controlled.
It's not really the journaliststhese days, it's the people who
own the papers that are the onesthat are the pigs.
And it is, the narrative iseverything.
There's an amazing book calledactive Hope by Joanna.
Something.
Oh, I've forgot her surname.
Oh, that's mad.
I've always known her name.
(41:50):
I was gonna say her name wasJoanna Hope, but it's not,
that's the name.
But Active Hope by Joanna Macy.
Joanna Macy, that's it.
And she is an activist, butshe's a She's gone into the sort
of therapy side of things likesupporting activists with
burnout and Active Hope is abook for people who are feeling
burnt out from their activism.
And she's talking about howit's, there's a three-pronged
(42:13):
attack and it's vital that wekeep doing it and that we are
all relevant.
In fact, there's two threepronged things here.
So there's the, we need thescientists, we need the people
who are.
Doing the discoveries that areexploring ways of getting fungus
to eat plastic or fungus thatwill eat up oil in the sea, or
(42:34):
ways of making solar panels orall of the things that we need
people to be doing to try andfind different ways of doing
things so that we get ourselvesout of the mess that we're in.
We need those people.
We need the.
Governance, politician,businessmen, people to be, in
the infrastructure, in the lawmaking, like doing the things to
(42:55):
try and change, corporationCEOs, that stuff, we need all of
that.
Those are both key things weneed, but we also need the
storytellers.
We need the artists, we need thecreatives to be writing new
narratives that inspire andexcite.
And where I see that being atthe forefront at the moment is
in the folk revival scene.
The right to Rome is full ofmoming and'cause it's working
(43:18):
class stories, it's community'cause also.
We are way more socialists whenwe are in community.
The Tories know this.
The Tories will do anything theycan to stop community, and
that's why the arts are notfunded when Tories are in
because the arts is all aboutstrengthening community and
bringing people together andcreating connection and.
And we have it here'cause we'vegot a load of libertines and
(43:41):
wealthy people here that arecompletely against any kind of
social state, join thegovernment.
And then they're dealing withthe fact that so and so down the
road who they know is in areally dire situation, something
awful has happened and we needto do something to help them.
And how are you going to not dothat?
How are you gonna look them inthe eye or their family in the
eye when you all live amongsteach other and not do that when
(44:03):
you are in community?
You help each other out, it'sjust a given.
And people will help you out.
Like even if you are one ofthese self-centered,
self-serving rich twats peoplewill still help you out.
And so it means that you can'tcontinue to be, oh no, it's all
everyone for themselves.
And, and that's reallyinspiring.
(44:23):
And so this whole kind ofresurgence of community art and
folk art and folk connectionmeans that people are coming
together and we're doing maydaycelebrations and we're doing,
old folk traditions that, thatare for just the common people.
And it's not about high art,it's not about being
well-trained or, you've gotta beable to do this perfectly.
It's about doing it in a reallyad hoc, panto e, low grade way.
(44:47):
But actually it's for us andit's deeply rooted and it's
normally very connected to theland as well.
That's why I see it's happeningin the narrative.
It and it's land worship andnature worshiping.
So there's the reverence thereand that deep appreciation that
we need to rekindle and connectin appreciation in each other,
in community and appreciation innature and the land.
(45:07):
It's juicy stuff.
This is real juicy stuff.
And this is what thisSchrodinger's thing is all
about.
Like we need to really believethe potential that anything's
possible and that we need tomake it happen.
And, the three things that shetalks about within this
psychology thing.
So the prong attack of thepsychology of it is that you
have business as usual, which isthat, nothing's going on,
(45:28):
nothing's wrong.
There is no eco disaster.
There is no impending doom.
I think we can all see that'snot true, The second one is that
we can do something about it.
Something is going on and wefully have the power to do
something about it.
And the third one is, we're allfucked and there's nothing we
can do about it.
And if you were to look at thenarratives that are put out
there and what the story is fromthe naked slimy bastards that
(45:52):
are.
Controlling these things.
The narrative is business asusual or we're fucked.
But if you think about it, likethe bit in the middle is the
really big bit, that's theactual bit that we are in and is
vast because we're so far frombusiness as usual.
That has not been the casesince.
I, Lisa Simpson was saying itwhen she came out in the
(46:12):
eighties, and I was saying it inthe eighties as a little Lisa
Simpson, myself and WWF and.
Not the wrestling, the wildlifefund and all of these things
were all there saying from along time ago that we can't
carry on the way we are.
And that business as usual isnot a thing.
That the, this is also, it's notbusiness as usual.
This is a tiny little glitch anda little moment that's happening
(46:34):
where we are suddenly behavinglike this.
It's only been since theindustrial revolution and.
It has been nothing butdetrimental to our health and
wellbeing and the planet'shealth and wellbeing since it
began.
And it doesn't mean that wethrow it all out and throw it
all away, but we definitely needto bring back some of the things
we did throw away and balancethis out a bit because this is
(46:55):
not, this is just dirt.
It's dirty, it's toxic, it'sdestructive, and we can have all
the perks of it.
Without the dirt anddestruction, it's actually
possible you can still becomfortable in your house and
have all the lovely thingswithout it being at the
detriment of everything,including yourself.
(47:15):
And that we have this likemiddle space that is vast where
we can do something about it,right?
But that never gets mentioned.
That's, that doesn't exist.
But within ourselves, it's notlike you are one.
Or the other of these thingswithin our day, we have to go
around being business as usual.
Sometimes you have to fly.
Sometimes you know, you've gottaget in your car, you've gotta go
(47:36):
about your day, you're bringingup kids.
You've just gotta act normal.
You've gotta get on with yourlife.
Then sometimes you're like,right now I need to do something
about this.
I'm gonna fill in that petition.
I'm gonna go on that protest.
I'm gonna challenge my boss.
I'm gonna challenge the NHS inhow the medical profession is
running.
Things I'm gonna like.
Question this, I'm gonnaquestion like, sometimes you
just gotta do it.
You've gotta, you've gotta doit.
(47:56):
You've gotta stand up for thething that you believe in, and
then other times you arecompletely full of despair and
you're like, we're completelyfucked.
And it was useful to hear thatbecause as someone who, has done
a lot of stuff to do with ecoactivism and will continue be
continually be doing, so I amsometimes completely lost and
we're fucked, and it's reallydesperate.
And sometimes I've gotta justcrack on and do business as
(48:17):
usual, and I've gotta dosomething that I wouldn't.
I technically want to do, but Ihave to, I have to, it's life.
I live on an island, I have tofly, things like that, Sometimes
you've gotta do these things.
and we just, you dip into all ofthem.
So we are dipping in and out ofthings all the time, and
narrative writing is key.
So this Schrodinger's cat, thispotential is what is in the box.
(48:40):
So is there a thriving futurewhere we all exist, or is it
that we are at the beginning ofArmen and we're completely
screwed?
It's up to you to decide.
You decide what's in that box.
You are the one who's gonna takethe gamble.
Are you gonna gamble for we'refucked or are you gonna gamble
(49:01):
for, we can do something aboutthis?
Or are you gambling for businessas usual?
Everything's fine.
It's up to you.
And you are AIX in the picture.
So the more of us that are the.
We can do something about thispixel, the more that's the
picture, and that's how youchange the world.
So you just crack on with you,be your archetype.
Stand in your being, being yourpower, owning your.
(49:24):
Atmosphere your color in the therainbow of the symphony of this
image.
You are your note.
You are your color, you are yoursparkle in the picture, and
within it, you choose what thatpixel does is that pixel in
despair, is that pixel.
Just gonna go about business asusual, or is that Pixel gonna do
something about it?
(49:46):
What are you?
And you do that.
And then we'll see.
It's a bit, it is like a gamewhere we're all gonna put our
cards down on the table andwe'll see which one wins.
And that's how it's create willbe created.
So what are you gonna create?
What future are you gonnacreate?
What reality are you gonnacreate?
Are you creating a reality wherewe thrive and where the world is
(50:06):
in harmony and bliss?
And.
Exciting and thriving and justfull of potential, or are we
screwed and heading towards ourdemise.
So the choice is yours, and thatbrings us onto the Chaos
Crusade.
(50:33):
So the Chaos Crusade for thisweek is, I am.
I'm doing a spring clean at themoment and I'm finding it really
useful for my head.
And it might be something thatyou might want to do yourselves
for just helping yourself insome way.
So I would do this.
(50:53):
It's just been the full moon.
You could do it for the lunarcycle, you could do it for a
week.
It's up to you how long youwanna do it till or till the
dark moon.
I'm doing 40 days where I'mdoing a thing each day towards
the thing that I want.
So it could be that you want towrite a book.
what I'm doing is springcleaning and I'm doing a thing
each day for 40 days where I'm,I'm cleaning a bit of the house
(51:16):
and I, yeah, so each day we'redoing a bit of spring cleaning.
So me and my husband are doingit and we're picking a thing to
do.
So cleaning out the wardrobe,cleaning out the cupboards,
cleaning the fireplace,something like that.
So it's doing something over aperiod of time where you just do
a bit each day and it just helpsyou to get there, whatever it is
(51:36):
that you need to do to getthere.
And that's what I would like tosuggest for your case crew.
So,'cause I'm finding it reallyuseful for just getting things
done.
So that's my offering and I hopethat's of use to you.
And yeah, I shall see you againnext week.
And.
Keep it.
Just keep up the good work.
Whatever it is you're doing, letyour heart be as light as a
(51:58):
feather and just forgiveyourself for anything that feels
cumbersome or making mistakes,forgive, forget.
Move on and keep going.
Alright, love you.
Take care.
I shall see the anon.
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