TRIGGER WARNINGS: This week's episode is a recording of Sisterhood the play, which deals with themes of sexual abuse, infertility, suicide, and menopause.
I'm sharing this in memory of Sophia, who created the live soundscape for this production and toured with me around East Anglia on a healing tour to all the places where Matthew Hopkins tortured and executed witches.
Like Handmaid's Tale, but with more hope and gallows humour, Sisterhood is a gentle but fearless adventure into the dark heart of patriarchal rule. Three women, aged 20, 40 and 60 (But not a virgin, mother or hag in sight) stand on a precipice, the patriarchy watching over them – flaming torches aloft – threatening to hang them all. Sisterhood is a devised multimedia tale introducing you to a sisterhood caught between two timelines: the witch trials of the 16thC and modern-day women facing a world in political and environmental upheaval. Sisterhood transports the audience, in this live performance, to a church cell in Wilmington, where three women await their trial in the morning. Soothing and passionate storytelling interweaves the stories of these three women with vestiges from the performer’s own lives, to reveal an immediate and clear association.
GROUNDBREAKING WORK “One of the best play scripts I’ve seen at the Fringe… At its core Sisterhood is a superbly written, intelligent, and essential play, masterfully portrayed by its three actresses, exploring the role of male domination, misinformation, sexual abuse, and age discrimination through the lens of the past but contrasted with moments drawn from the modern day.” - Fringe Review
Sisterhood the Novel by Jolie Booth is available on Amazon.
The music and artwork is by @moxmoxmoxiemox
Nonsense in the Chaos is available on all podcast platforms or you can listen to it here… https://nonsenseinthechaos.buzzsprout.com
I'd love to know what you think! If you want to get in touch with me about anything on the podcast then email nonsenseinthechaos@gmail.com or you can follow me on Instagram and Bluesky @kriyaarts or at the Nonsense in the Chaos Page on Facebook.
Please consider supporting me through patreon.com/JolieRose and like, follow, and review wherever you get your podcasts from. Share about Nonsense in the Chaos far and wide! The more people who hear about the podcast the better.
Thank you for all your support -x-
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:29):
The.
(00:50):
Welcome to The Nonsense In theChaos.
I'm your host, Jolie Rose.
Tonight's podcast is a specialone in reverence to Sophia, who
is my friend who passed away.
It's the recording of the playthat we took on the road
together.
I created this play in 2017.
(01:14):
I want to say I created it withmy.
Mentor and my protege, who's nowvery much like my keeper.
But, my friend Cara, I havetalked about this in the
previous podcast, but just as aquick, debrief, I.
(01:35):
Did an ayahuasca ceremony thatwas dedicated to the divine
feminine and it was anincredible evening and it was
before I'd really heard of thegoddess rising and she rising
and the divine feminine and allthat stuff.
It was all new to me at thispoint and I had an incredible
night of being worshiped.
That was amazing, and it feltjust so powerful.
(01:58):
It was such an life changing.
It turned out to be moment andin the morning I had this vision
that I needed to write a playcalled Sisterhood with my mentor
and my prodigy.
So these two women that werevery special to me that never
met each other, but the wisdomthat my mentor had passed on to
me.
I knew that I'd passed on to myprotege and I.
(02:21):
Just knew I had to write a playwith them.
That's all I knew.
And I thought it was gonna bekind of vagina monologues vibe.
It was like modern.
I'd been working a lot intheater and, uh, taking shows up
to Edinburgh and, and smashingEdinburgh with different
performances.
And in my head I thought it wasgonna be this really modern
show, really fast pace.
To my surprise, I make reallygentle work.
(02:42):
both the plays that I'vewritten, hip and sisterhood are
both very gentle, which I findsurprising and in fact, Bane's
pretty gentle as well.
It seems that my creations aregentle.
My books are pretty hardhitting, but yeah, my.
Although I think my new one thatI've just nearly finished is
quite gentle.
But on the whole, yeah, my worktends to be surprisingly gentle.
(03:05):
I think it's surprising'cause Ithink of myself as being quite,
uh, fast-paced and bolshy andloud and bright and brash.
But maybe I'm not as much thatas I think I am.
And.
I got funding from the artscouncil and we hired a cottage
and it was just fate that led tothe cottage that was rented.
I took my mentor and my protegeand a designer, a graphic
(03:29):
designer, a lighting designer,and.
A statistician, all women, andwe locked ourselves in this
cottage for a long weekend andcreated this show.
And right at the beginning, mymentor said that the play is
trying to tell itself and all wehave to do is get out of the
way.
And what came through was thatit was Beltane at the time.
There were lambs bleeding, therewas birds chirping.
(03:52):
There were ravens trapped in ourfireplace.
Oh jack Doors that were trappedin our fireplace when we got
there that we had to let out.
There was blossom falling fromthe trees and.
We were in Wilmington and wewere right next to this old
church yard with a giant ancienttree in it, and we.
We sat in the church and therewas this beautiful stained glass
window with a phoenix on it thatwas spilling fire light in the
(04:17):
golden hour over us as we sat inthis beautiful old church.
And my mentor said, oh, you knowthat in the old days when you
didn't have a lockup, if avillage was too small to have a
lockup like Wilmington, then theonly building that would have,
you know, a safe space to lockpeople into would be a church.
So quite often they were usedas.
Sort of overnight prisons.
And I said, so if you're accusedof witchcraft, you might have
spent your last night in achurch.
(04:37):
And she said, yeah.
And we sat there in silence and,and then I was like, that's the
play, isn't it?
And.
I just worked on a play calledTestosterone, which was about a
man who was a trans man who wasin a male dressing room, trying
to work out what kind of man hewanted to be.
And what I liked about the playwas the limitations, so it being
(04:57):
confined in this space, but likeflights of fancy took it off to
other places, but it was withinthis contained space and I liked
how that worked.
And so with this play, I likethe idea of us being confined
within a church and that thewhole play is from there.
And there might be things thattake us off elsewhere, but.
The, the plays based in this oneconfined space.
So the play became, and weimprovised it.
(05:20):
So my mentor, myself and myprotege got into tutor a costume
and,'cause we had them with us,we just brought all our stuff
with us and so we had Kenmorecostumes with us and we went and
improvised this play.
It was, uh, originallyimprovised in the laundry room
of the cottage, but we also wentand did some bits of
improvisation up at the churchas well, and then captured,
(05:41):
literally we voice recorded whatwhat was said and captured it,
and then wrote it into thisplay, which I then turned into a
novel and that's available.
I'll put that in the show notes.
So you can also read this as anovel, which has got a slightly.
It's slight twist on it.
It's got a modern, three modernwomen as well that are in
parallel living in parallel tothe three women locked in the
church.
They're confined on a trainthat's broken down.
(06:03):
So with this, it's the audio ofthe play.
So it's not the best soundquality.
It's a bit echoy and it's from abig room.
So it's not got the same qualityas as studio sound, but it's got
the atmosphere and thesoundscape.
The music that's playing with itis Sophia.
So once I'd written the play, Ithen.
Found actresses to play theparts because my mentor and
(06:25):
Prodigy aren't actresses anddidn't want to do that.
So we, cast for it, found someactresses to play it, and then
Sophia did the soundscape forit.
And she was sort of dressed asmother goddess.
She was the mother goddess.
And then we were all in tune, acostume and the plays set.
Over the course of from Sunset,the golden hour through
nighttime to dawn.
(06:46):
there will also be a video ofthis and which you can see if
you go onto Patreon, it'll beavailable on there.
but there is also a video of iton my.
YouTube channel, which is the LaLuna cover YouTube channel, so
you can watch it on there.
If you type in sisterhood, theplay, it's there as a, a video
of the production, but the videoof this with me talking now and
(07:09):
it being a podcast, is availableon the Patreon page.
And yeah, so it's a bit of anexperiment doing this.
I have.
Recorded hip, but I recorded itin the studio reading the script
out.
Whereas with this, I think it'snice to hear the different
voices and I wanted to captureSophia's soundscaping.
So this is a dedication to her.
(07:29):
forgive me for it not beingstudio sound quality, but it's
play quality, so it's still goodenough to share with you
hopefully you enjoy it.
Come now.
(07:50):
Come now.
Each woman and girl, take yourcourage to the flames they call.
We may burn at the hands of somemen, but from that fight we
shall rise again.
I shall follow my sisters threeand up on the face.
(09:20):
Where, who?
My husband, my good fellow.
They're expecting still to come.
He'll come.
He got love.
They were they not comfortingthat what they were doing by
yonder Tree, does that notthink?
(09:41):
It seemed as if they werewaiting for us.
Where are my husband?
Where are my father?
Where are my jack door?
(10:12):
What would be that then?
It's a prayer I got smashed withand I did somewhere.
What?
Be a thought just for the treeasking what That'd be her
business.
Do they be you mistress?
(10:42):
This cans not be smoke.
What be that then?
Does it curse?
And where For beer, upon a pieceof paper.
And you know how to make one.
I read about them in my father'slibrary now trespassing, my
father's library to learn tomake a curse.
What?
(11:02):
I found it in a book or somesuch.
My father has booked somecurses.
Was on a book.
Was on some papers.
Does that what they be writingin books these days?
Time was when they just comeknock on my door.
When did I get my letters?
Here?
Let me look when I can't hearthe, since I eight summer, my
(11:27):
father had a school who'd be acuring my father.
Now what Pieing, my father froma book found in his library, was
not in a book, was on somepapers.
I found them.
Found them together in a leathercover of.
(11:50):
But I think maybe there were mybrothers.
Oh, well she was a sweet thing.
In truth, I do not remember her.
Ah, she was, when she cut tieson me there, that worked a
squiggly little thing.
(12:11):
Couldn't wait to get into thelight.
Now, that was first, but thatwas fast.
No more than two hours in thebearing.
And thy blessed mother beamedwhen she laid eyes on me as if
that were to fresh may mourn.
I did not know that.
I can't remember.
Well, I remember it well.
(12:33):
I liked our mother.
She was a sweet thing, and shewas sent all that way from the
lowlands on her own to marry thyfather.
This be finally made it lookgood that we'll do upon
tomorrow.
Wherefore that cursing though,father, it was to force me to
(12:57):
marry.
For this reason.
I lived right the curse toprotect myself from him and to
protect myself from others.
No children are coming for me,for I have no children.
(13:20):
That's what I was doing by.
I've always wanted a daughter.
I'm from a long line of reallylovely mothers.
My great nan, my Nan, my mom andme were all alive until I was 15
(13:43):
years old, and I desperatelywanted to keep this line going.
And although I did get pregnantwhen I was 21, I didn't keep it.
It was with some random guy.
I just finished university andnone of that was what I planned,
so I didn't keep her pretty sureit was a girl.
Years later, I met my husbandand we started trying for
children, but after a few yearswe realized that it wasn't
(14:04):
happening.
So we started to do IVF to doIVF.
You have to inject yourself inthe stomach every day for 30
days, and then you build up todoing it twice a day, and then
three times a day your stomachgoes black and blue with bruises
and you feel like a human pinkcushion.
The first lot of injectionssimulate the menopause and the
next lot flood your body withestrogen.
(14:25):
And this makes your ovaries openup like honeycombs.
Each honeycomb is a follicle,and that's where the X pop out.
Once I have simulated and Iopened up 24 follicles and the
nurse said to me, don't you gohaving sex, so you might end up
with 24 babies.
I really wanted a daughter, butI didn't want 24.
oh, I had to have nineultrasounds, which were really
(14:46):
painful because one of myovaries is often an adventure,
and so the nurse had to pump onmy stomach in order to find it.
I had to have about 30 bloodtests and two operations, two
lots of two week weights only tofind out that it was all for
nothing.
And then there was a time whereI overstimulated, where I
basically overdosed on estrogen.
I put on loads of weight andwent completely mad.
(15:07):
The best way to describe myselfduring that time was a weeping,
volatile puffer fish, and myhusband just had to wh in a cup.
He felt really guilty about itthough.
I often think back to thedaughter that I never had.
I wonder what she would've beenlike.
She'd be 19 this December.
I wonder whether we would've goton.
I'd like to hate.
(15:27):
We would.
I just need a drink now.
That be the first sensible thingthat I said since I've got here.
(15:51):
Just I think there'll be wine.
Bye.
There will be wine.
That'll be the blood of Christ.
I wish greatly to drink of bloodof Christ come.
That can help look too young, mathem.
So don't look, don't get.
(16:24):
I can pick locks.
Was that learned in a librarytoo?
It's not getting into thelibrary.
(16:45):
Whatever happens upon themurder, it'll be better than
being sold off to some violentmaster upon the Murray.
It actually shot by curse byfather.
That will put the fear of Godinto him.
What does I think that will doto us upon the may have?
There will be a trial a I willtry.
(17:09):
Will my father be there?
Hi.
I think all the folks from theVillage will be and take you
see?
Their husband will be there.
He better be there.
If he's gonna leave me here tobe chasing in front of the whole
village, he'd bloody better bethere.
I'm gonna look him right in theeye.
(17:31):
When my sisters come, they'regonna make all the women from
the village come.
We all had to watch Mary Charco.
What if, what if we should notbe here when they come for
(17:55):
tomorrow?
I've been thinking upon this,but there is a fellow set
outside and they're gonna hearthe glass in the station.
No, I mean, not here.
Not here.
Make it quick.
(18:19):
Just don't know how to make itquick.
I, that's other, other means.
No, I think that'd be a fineidea.
Let us get drunk first tillwe're well within our cups.
(18:41):
Then we'll upon the matter.
Come on.
Yes.
Now we'll have a drop of wineand listen to the good Lord's
words and that will strengthenour spirit.
(19:01):
I will have to listen to thegood Lord's words whilst we
drink the blood of Christ.
That's be what we're going to doyoung lady and I won't have
these stand there like that withour hands on my hips looking at
me like that.
I just not wish to hear thewords of Christ.
Does not believe in him.
Oh, thankfully, not to tell mewhat I done and does not believe
in.
(19:22):
They've told us to change ourminds and what to believe in.
I don't know what weights beingup or down.
And what now, do I do the rightthing by giving Dee a cup first?
I know that.
Well, I do now come and see.
(19:46):
Hi.
Sit thy earth here.
And in the last of this preciouslight, we will hear these words
out.
Taste of the wine better than afellow mistress.
Now I have th letters.
(20:07):
I know this because I found Icurse in a library.
She found her curse in a.
Yes.
Okay.
At this time I was very sorryand reluctant to die.
(20:28):
Does this be the Bible?
No, it is not the Bible.
It is Julian of knowledge.
Lucy Na not is a she a mistress.
I have never held a book writtenby a mistress before fly.
She was an anchorite.
(20:48):
Oh.
That one of the women that wasbricked into the charge walls
may not bricked in.
Well, I, she was bricked in, butshe retired there from life and
gave herself to the Church ofKnowledge out of her own choice.
And there she spent the rest ofher days living in its walls.
(21:12):
And there she wrote a book.
Hi.
Now read Mistress that they'llwant any of this mistress.
My feet will swing in themorning.
Might as well get it down, Lee.
How?
Go on read.
(21:34):
Not because there was anythingon earth that I wanted to live
for, nor because I fearedanything nay.
I fear nothing.
Nay for I trusted in God I, IDom.
So I thought my good Lord, maymy ceasing to live be to thy
(21:54):
glory.
Then God brought our lady intomy mind.
Now, when does the priest everbring forth our lady into our
mind?
Never is a bastard.
Well carry on.
Come on.
Um, I saw her spiritually andbodily likeness in Meek and
(22:20):
simple maiden of edge, insanebodily form as when she
conceived.
I had seen her, I had seen herdown at the, well, I had seen
her down by the river.
I, but they were speakers tobirds and now does not and which
of must be the bigger fool, butjust for why folks talk about
the, they are the one thatcuring by Bo young mate.
I, from a book now Keep going.
(22:45):
Um, God also showed me part ofher wisdom and truth of her
soul.
So I understood with whatreverend she beheld her God and
how reverently she marveled thathe chose to be born of her.
A simple creature of his ownmaking.
(23:06):
For made her marvel was that hewho was the maker chose to be
born of a creature he had made,which moved her to say very
humbly to the angel Gabriel,behold the handmaiden of the
Lord.
And this night I reallyunderstood that she is greater
(23:27):
in worthiness and in all gracethan all that God made below
her.
But nothing that is made isabove her except the blessed
manhood of Christ.
Amen.
Then what happens?
There's this thing that is madethat is below our lady, Saint
Mary.
God showed it to me as small asif it had been a hazelnut, as
(23:49):
small as if it had been ahazelnut.
I flew one day that flew, ofcourse I did with the birds and
I did see this where I did somesmall, just above over Kingston
and back again.
For the view, did I fly asmyself or as a bird?
(24:10):
I flew as me.
What?
Nothing did.
Seabee?
No.
No folks noticed anything aroundhere.
Least of all flying things.
Least of all flying women who'vegone through the change.
The change, hi.
The end of my monthly courses.
The courses that come eachmonth.
(24:33):
The blood that flows between mylegs.
How would I say know of this?
How?
How, if I know of this, what hasNo one had a good sense to tell
me of their meaning.
The priest said, do not listento a words that priest tells
them.
(24:55):
The power know of this.
You have them.
It What tells the about of tobearing age?
What is, what tells the, if theyare a child, if a child had
taken, then the blood does notissue fault.
If it issues fault just thyheart, we can forth bloody tears
from between thy legs.
Nate is not thy heart thatbleeds does the mess of thy womb
(25:16):
That issues forth, but there isno egg growing within it to
warm.
But each moon thy womb makes anew nest.
But the priest said was a cursemade, did not a curse.
It is a blessing for some, forall.
(25:38):
Thy womb is a magic chance, aball of power, whether it is
with child or without child.
With its monthly courses orwithout, well, my monthly
courses have stopped, but itstill have magic.
(25:58):
What might it be?
That then mistress, it does makeme invisible.
Invisible.
Hi.
Since the change folks in thevillage can see me, not hear me,
not smell me, not unless intruth I wish to be seen, which
is not off, which is why theycould not see me when I flew.
(26:22):
But I could see them all rightdown there and I could see all
that tiny little lights fromtheir fires.
I did not like it much.
It was sort of flying and sortof floating, but I remembered
her and the hazelnut.
But to me it looked more like a,like a walnut.
(26:46):
What the earth does it looklike?
A walnut?
Listen, the path of a good life.
Is to keep getting far more fromfar less.
Why I like breeze on the cheekin that moment.
Can, can open you up toeverything.
(27:08):
Half times I while away, half aday, sitting by a patch of grass
just looking upon it because,because it's the most beautiful
thing I have ever seen.
I have a favorite patch of grassthat I sit by up on wind over
hill where the air tinkles thatgrassy patch dances daily with a
(27:35):
flight of tiny blue butterflies.
Um, we call Holly Blues andlittle wild bees skipping and
hopping lightly over these.
These wild carrot flowers thatlook like toad stools of cow
parsley and whites and pinks.
(27:57):
And in a place like this, I canbreathe and all this, all this
is on that hazelnut or walnut.
Read that bit again.
(28:26):
And this night I reallyunderstood that she is greater
in worthiness and in all gracethan all that God made below
her.
And all the men he put betweenthem for nothing that is made is
above her except.
The blessed manhood of crust.
(28:47):
There is thing that is made thatis below our lady sent.
Mary, God showed it to me assmall as if it had been a
hazelnut.
Jesus, our Lord on Earth had amother.
Mary.
Do you see?
Mary is God's mother on earth.
She be his mother.
Mary is God's mother.
(29:08):
Aye that priest dwells not muchon that part of the Bible now
does he?
Jesus.
Oh Lord had a Mother Mary andeverything that is below her,
which is everything unto theLord's greatness and the
greatness of Mother Mary is assmall as if it were a hazelnut
(29:30):
or a walnut.
And that is what it will alllook like to us once they have
taken us.
(29:57):
Will be their mother or son.
They've both forsaken me.
I prayed to them both.
I prayed and I've prayed andI've prayed and I've prayed.
I did that.
Pray for thy will for God's way.
I prayed, I prayed for a child.
It's gonna be a child of God.
I see your wife for.
I should be getting punished forwanting just what any good wife
(30:20):
wants.
They are not being punished forwhat they're yearning.
They are being punished by menfor what they were gonna do.
Casting spells and.
I'll swing a spell.
It was a prayer.
May have was not our good Lordor Mother Mary's will the which
(30:41):
mistress if I be one then nowone, two.
(31:02):
What will they do Joseph, ontomorrow?
Are they gonna beat us and talkto us and focus for devastating?
Stop thinking on it.
Death thou think it will be anybetter.
If that keeps going over andover it, that will not die.
One death thou will die.
50.
Think on the hazelnut.
(31:26):
Think of pulling out of thisworld.
Think of what is on thathazelnut.
Everything is on that hazelnut.
For this, I'm gonna make morewine.
(31:57):
Shall I see the bird again onthe other side?
Of course I will now shall berid of us, gonna go to hell
because those bloody men andthat priest that will all go to
hell.
(32:44):
So what is TH's story then?
What all that doing with a cursein my bodies from my father's
library?
Well, my stepmother left me withmany sisters and my father wants
me bred and married.
Who would he have me married?
Monte You Creek?
Most recently?
(33:04):
Nay.
There's only so many timesyou'll let say nay.
Now we not getting any younger.
Not wish be on that V.
Well, my father has no sons.
What other purpose were mysisters and I filled and that
fellow's temper and his breath?
I would not let him lay a fingerupon me.
(33:25):
He touched me once it was, butonce and chief, I think it would
be better to be hung and touchedby him or there.
That'd be something to think on.
That'll cheer the up When thatlittle feet to begin to dance
mon you cre in this big, fat,leery face.
(33:45):
That's what that should shout.
The G, I'd rather be home andtouch by the, oh, rather, the
robes kiss.
They can't take that away fromme.
They can choke my little throatout, but they can't stop what
comes out of it.
I shall say My hail Mary's rightat the priest.
What can they do then?
They think they'd be hanging mefor my cunning.
(34:08):
Little do they know they've gotcat on their hands.
They may happen.
They'll cut me down and burn mewhen they find out.
Look, look here.
This, this has been on my personfor the last.
20 summers.
They never think of lookinghere.
(34:29):
See that tomorrow should takehide the May.
I could cover it with a prayerfor the U tree and then they
could hang me twice and burn.
I take my curse too and then behung three times.
(34:50):
I'll be hung three times for acurse.
Found in a Hail Mary full ofgrace.
The Lord is with me.
(35:12):
Blessed are thou amongst womenand blessed is a fruit of thy
womb.
Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God.
Pray for us sinners now and thehour of our death.
Our amen.
Ha.
Full grace.
The Lord is with thee.
(35:34):
Blessed our thou amongst formen, and blessed is the fruit of
thy wound.
Jesus.
Holy sun is done.
(36:10):
Want to about candy yet?
No, not yet.
Better yourself.
Let's enjoy the last light onthe sky and the first star.
(37:05):
What if my sister is to marryhim instead now?
Here.
This be the perfect charm forMontague Creek.
Does that know what this is?
(37:26):
What is it?
It is what Othello keeps in hisco piece.
Tisa Barb cot piece.
Nay Tisa foxes.
Now, in order for sister not tosettle with gold montague,
there's some honey we can dowith this because she take it
(37:48):
with them to the gallows.
And shout your own con is gonna,how will I get to the gallows
with me?
Well, now that they just mentionit though, have just brought to
mind there is one.
We just.
Mon Creek.
He lives on the street.
(38:12):
He's all his breath.
There's a furnace.
His feet, no one would like himif it went for his, that's what
it was tomorrow.
Oh.
See that song?
And then I will cast them alland I'll say, my hail Mary is I
(38:35):
does not know the Hail Mary.
What?
No.
She'd be too, Yu come.
It starts Hail Mary, full ofgrace.
Hail Mary.
(38:55):
Full of grace.
The Lord is with me.
The Lord is with the Blessed arethou amongst women.
Thou amongst women and blessedis the fruit of thy wo, no
offense, un taken and blessed isthe fruit of thy wo.
No offense, thou can leave thatplate out.
(39:17):
Blessed is the fruit of thy wombJesus.
And blessed is the fruit of thywomb Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God.
Now this one interesting.
Pray for us sinners now and atthe hour of our death.
Holy Mary, mother of God, holyMary, mother of God.
(39:39):
Pray for our sinners now and atthe hour of our death.
Pray for us sinners.
Pray for our sinners.
Pray for our sins.
Pray for our sins.
All of them.
All of them.
That one and that one, that one.
(40:00):
Holy Mary, mother of God, prayfor our sinners now and at the
hour of our death.
Holy Mary, mother of God, prayfor our sinners now and at the
hour of our death.
Amen.
Now, does that not make you feela bit better and truth?
(40:24):
It does.
It may have to be the wine.
(40:47):
When they made thy curse in thelibrary, what did they hope
would do?
I hope it would help me escape.
(41:14):
If you enjoy this podcast, thenplease consider supporting me on
Patreon.
This is patreon.com/joly Rose.
I am dreaming of the day thatthis is my full-time job and I
hope that this is something thatI am able to work towards the.
(41:36):
Difficulties of living on anisland where there isn't a huge
number of people to be theaudience and to share
experiences and events with.
It means that I can once a yearput on a festival and possibly I
could once a year put on a show,but it's not the same as when I
was living in Brighton or livingin the UK where I could just put
things on and do thingsconstantly and get funding from
(41:59):
the Arts Council and just livethe life of an artist, which
I've managed to do for the last20 years and I'm very proud of.
But now I've moved here and itwas really important to me.
To make this shift, like I movedto be more in nature and more in
the land.
and I shifted into hopefullywriting, but being more in
nature and being in this amazingspace where I don't need to be
(42:23):
able to drive'cause there are nocars.
The island is only one mile wideand three miles long.
And for me to be able to connectwith audiences and connect with
people online rather thanphysically, I was on the road
all the time and moving aroundall the time and going to
meetings constantly and just mycarbon footprint and.
Hecticness was off the chartsand I didn't want to go back to
(42:46):
that life as well.
Like it felt like we learnedsomething from the lockdown,
which was to slow down and tolive differently and I've then
found myself in this completelydifferent reality doing that,
and I want to.
Stick with it.
I want to keep, keep to still bean artist, but in this space,
(43:07):
which is a completely isolatedisland, miles away from
everybody else, but with thepower of the internet.
And This is work that I'm hopingnourishes you and gives you some
sort of spiritual solace andstrength and nourishment.
And if you feel like it is doingthat, then.
If you are up for helping me toliterally eat and be able to pay
(43:32):
my rent and, buy new equipment,I'm not happy with the equipment
I've got.
I'd be amazing to be able to payan editor one day'cause it takes
me so long to do.
I'm doing all of the, I'm doingeverything on this and I'm
learning as I go along.
So if you are able to help methe first tier of the Patreon is
just three pound a month, whichis, the same as you buying me a
(43:53):
coffee to say thank you.
That would be amazing if youfeel like you would.
Consider doing that.
And then if you do the secondtier, which is nine pound a
month, then for that you alsoget to see the videos of the
podcast and any other free bitsof, stuff that I get to share
and discounts on courses andthings like that.
(44:13):
And mainly a huge amount ofappreciation for me and I do
appreciate so much the peoplewho are already helping me.
Thank you to my Patreons.
I can't say how much it means tome that you are supporting me.
Thank you.
And just to let you know aboutsome of the things that I do
that you can.
(44:34):
Come and take part in is themoon ceremonies that I do every
fortnight.
If you want to join these,they're free and they're over
zoom and all you have to do isfollow on Facebook or Instagram,
which are both at queer arts,K-R-I-Y-A-A-R-T-S.
If you follow me, then you'llsee the links.
I put them up.
Every fortnight and you justcome along and they're really
(44:58):
nourishing, beautiful spaces Andthen towards the end of May is
the beginning of the witch fall.
You course.
And I.
Urge you to do this course.
If you can see or sense thepower of working with archetype,
then do get involved, do comeand join for this deep dive and
(45:19):
this deep journey.
I'm really looking forward togiving myself over to this
cycle.
I do it every year and everyyear I learn something new and
I'm.
I'm gonna rewrite a myth thistime.
I'm gonna rewrite the story ofVenus where she bins off Mars
and gets together with Mercury.
That's what I'm gonna be doingthis time, so I'm gonna be
writing a myth, which feels likebig work.
(45:42):
So come join me if you're up fordoing some God-like level
archetypal work, really messingwith the matrix and.
Creating reality then uh, comeand get involved.
that's it for now.
I will let you know as otherthings come up.
But yeah.
(46:02):
Exciting.
back to the show, I was neverforced to marry.
I still had every reason to meto escape.
(46:23):
Growing up was a crash course incrisis management.
I am 20 now and tried to facebecoming an adult.
Adult, more so a girl.
Um, my mother had my brother, aboy with beautiful golden ring
that's dad bounced as he ran.
Um, my dad bus off when I waslittle because he's a boy so he
can do whatever he likes.
Um, me and my brother, we foughtquite a lot when I was younger
(46:47):
'cause he, he just sat aroundplaying video games while I sat
and cleared our house becauseboys just don't understand
consequences until they're mucholder than us.
Darling, when I was 15 andfeeding my dad egg buddies on
the sofa because the alcohol hadruined him, it was me, not my
(47:09):
brother who looked after him.
And it was me who said, I'mdrinking vodka with my mom on a
school night because it wassnowing and my dad was falling
asleep under a hedge while mybrother, well, he started
setting fire to things becauseboys will be boys.
They need an outer.
When I was 18, um, my momfinally got up the courage to
(47:30):
follow the divorce.
It was me who fronted the moneyfor my job.
I left school for at 16.
While my brother took Ketamineand his blood because well, boys
aren't very good at emotionaltraumas and boys need fathers.
I wonder when we're gonnarealize that this bullshit is as
damaging to them as it is to us.
(47:50):
It's affecting us.
All it.
What does that think that Ishould do upon tomorrow?
Laugh.
Curse.
(48:11):
Well then I shall curse myhusband, but that have not come
for me.
For me.
Have they held him back?
No.
My husband, he's as strong as anox.
If he'd wished to come for me,he'd be here by now.
No, he's gonna watch me swingupon the morrow for not giving
him an air.
I've done everything for thatfellow.
(48:32):
I've cooked for him, I'vecleaned for him.
I've tended to him.
I've done everything.
A good wife should, well, I'd bedone with thee and I'd be done
with thee.
Then be strong words.
They'd be strong words, but Isee no work here that shows his
love for me.
If this is fatherly love for hisflock, then I do renounce him as
(48:55):
Sarah's renounced my father.
I'm gonna be a child of the moonand the stars and the rain and
see what they'll do with me forI like my chances better.
Words of God.
No more of that bastard, priestand truth.
Good mistress is whatever willget thee through the night.
(49:23):
I could not renounce you.
Oh Lord, I, this is all I mayhope for.
I Ivy cursed.
It started once when I was withthe priest.
My father, he would beat itoutta me, but he could not.
I should have kept my eyes fixedupon across, but my eyes, they
hurt.
So from staring at me, I shouldhave be begged Christ, but I
(49:45):
could not.
I was too furious.
And in my period, I closed myeyes and still I saw Christ and
the priest were, keep speakingmistress.
I might as well tell it beforethe Morrow.
Well come now, girl.
Tell us what happened today.
(50:08):
You gotta fear pause within mymouth moving.
I felt I might throw up fromguilt and shame and dirt in all
(50:34):
them rotten festering feelingsand memories and truth was a
sensation as if my head didsplit open.
I, the priest spilled in mymouth.
I felt a gross substance leakfrom my cracked skull down my
(50:56):
face, into my eyes and nose andmouth.
And Jesus worked with me, waitedin silence, and then the air
shook about me.
I span in stillness and saw whatChrist was looking down upon the
(51:17):
perfect image of a priest and agirl frozen, such as the kind of
baptism.
The priest pulled from my mouth.
I returned to my body.
He left.
I stayed just waiting andkneeling, dripping, and then the
(51:45):
red hot waves buried into mybeing.
I saw red and white and glowingand burning, and then it still
sounded, fury took over my body.
I woke collapsed face first onthe stove floor.
I rose.
I cleansed myself.
I returned to my father's house.
(52:06):
It was not the first time northe last time that the priest
would call upon me, but, buttowards then those strange ways
of.
If Devil Fury did begin to takeover my being, at times well,
must I not see there's somethingwithin me that's rotten?
(52:30):
Who would God may I hope for?
We are not your father or thepriest or any other man who
tells that they wrong in thehead for what they have done to
them.
Mr has done nothing wrong.
It's the priest.
(53:10):
Now look here.
Young mistress.
If I could buy their way outtahere, what would they plan be?
Well, I know not, well think onit.
Let's say I could hand the Adiamond or two enough.
To get thyself out of here thatgave one to the guard to get out
of here.
(53:31):
Ret through the village.
Up over the hill, then whatwould that do?
There's not much I could do.
Damage can tell me into a man orfox.
No, but they could buy thegarment tattoo thinking this
will only make it harder up onthe morrow.
Suppose they're just not hang upon the Morrow.
Suppose they're all given somemoney.
Will I please try and constructa dream for thyself?
(53:54):
Girl, what would that do?
But imagine that would not beenborn and maid and had all these
troubles before then.
What was that again?
And be a fell.
Suppose I am of the dark eyesfor all my love of a virgin.
Suppose I could give me adiamond or two enough to buy
(54:16):
thyself out of here.
What would I do?
I may not work.
Go what?
Think on it.
But I run away when I was youngwith less summers than I have
now.
And I knew not where I was goingor what I was going to do, so I
had to make a plan.
And that takes each step at atime and now keeps going until
(54:37):
they are when I'm needed to be.
So think on it.
What are they going to do?
But is anyone different?
But imagine if thou had, uh,britches, huge copies because of
horses, and they stuck my horsea little deeper.
They went over hill and kept ongoing, and kept on going and
(54:58):
kept on going until thou came toa place where all did think that
thou were to third.
What would still do then?
Would thou play a trade?
Oh, I would not wish to be likemy father.
That's what that would not do.
Tell us not what that would notdo.
Tell us what they would do.
I join a shit.
(55:19):
Ah, no cross to high sea.
Well, five or six days.
That could be in Portsmouththere that could bypass passage.
I've heard of many women who'vecrossed the high seas.
They bind their breasts andartificially fellows.
Well, I thought, I wish that Ithought of such things yesterday
from a big eye problem.
I spent too much time thinkingon what my heart does not
(55:41):
desire.
Instead of thinking on what myheart does desire, now they're
going to buy thy way out ofhere.
I'll buy a big hat.
They'll buy big hat and I shall,oh, they'll buy a big account,
some gamble, and I'll buy a bigpurchase with a huge copies as
(56:03):
as big as an xis.
And I'll run away to high seat.
Now.
Now, now we need a plan.
Does sound, no, Portsmouth Na bean old woman there.
Her name is.
Mother Margaret, she is callednow.
Comes in on the old PortsmouthRoad.
There is an ash and an oak turnleft at the ash.
(56:27):
Travel a little further down theroad and now we'll see an inn.
It does not look like an inn.
It looks like a house.
Bang, three times meow like acat.
She will let the inn, um, f forthe ash.
Uh, look for the inn bang.
The three times meow like a cat.
(56:47):
Meow.
Ah, well she sounds like a rightcharacter to go play.
I'll have the, no, she's a goodfriend of mine and I won't have
you speak ill of her.
Now when they reach it there,tell her I have sent these a
parting gift.
Tell her thy plan without oughtto lodge with her, that she will
put the upstairs.
(57:07):
Just tell her not to throw thein with the rest of the girls
and she will find the, and Iwill have money for this.
The money speaks especially toMother Margaret.
She will find the outfit of, ofa sailor, but they ought not to
be taking a lowly job.
That must be taking a job as a,a sexton or a quarter master or
(57:29):
a quarter master's assistant.
I've never been to sea.
They were a quartermaster'sassistant.
She does not know what aquartermaster is.
It just means they must do thebills, keep the account.
Thou have th letters.
But because thou have thletters, thou must not be taking
a lowly job where they arehauling ropes or some sort and
(57:52):
do not go with any fellow whogives v the eye.
If, if he's giving V the eye, hecan think that they are a
fellow.
That would be the way he likesthem.
Or Jeff put his card in my mouthand he will not know the
difference.
But do not let'em know that theyare made to both up to have a
mistress on a ship.
They will cast the office.
Now they want to stay withMother till she finds the outfit
(58:15):
they needed and she willintroduce the to all the right
people, all the quartermaster.
So they be her regularcustomers, not three times I
knock, three times meow like acat.
Tell her I something.
Is that understood?
(58:35):
I now where that should begoing?
West Indies, east Indies.
Do I choose?
Where do I wish to go?
Where can they not construct adream for thyself?
Girl, I know.
Not in all my summers, none haveever let me think on the
(58:59):
thoughts such as these beforethat has never thought on
nothing except for reading booksand making curses for thy
father.
Now, where are they going to go?
Sugar.
(59:20):
Some place.
Hot.
Why?
Where would that be?
Spain, Portugal cannot trust theSpanish.
Go to Portugal.
It's much better.
Africa.
Africa.
I have never thought on Africa.
There are many things that havenever thought a pong.
(59:41):
Now when they're out in Africa,what are they going to do?
I know not.
What are my choices?
Well, think that was a richmaster.
In Africa, I shall need a trade.
I'm very true.
So pick one fish.
(01:00:02):
Can that fish?
I did not wish to fish.
That's a stinking job.
I could be a merchant.
Ah, that could trade silk.
That has no letters.
Look, if I can make a purse froma book in a library, I can work
as a merchant, then I can sellsilks and I can g and that could
(01:00:28):
take away, well, I think mostmistresses would be only two
peas to discover their masterwas in truth and made.
That just needs to keep bybeast.
And then you can use the handlethere.
Go have a plan, mistress Beast.
(01:01:28):
Where that go when?
When they turned away?
Everywhere and nowhere.
Back then I was visible.
Of course, some would say Toovisible.
Too visible.
I, back then there were somethat said I was quite a beauty.
(01:01:57):
How fancy not to look at me likethat.
Young mistresses did not everhave any children.
Nay bearing children is a conWell, it is a great big con to
chainless, mistresses to the bedand parlor.
But they know all too well if wewere out and about in the world,
(01:02:18):
that we'd be sticking our nosesinto their business at no time
and, and showing them how it allneeds doing.
Well, they can't be having that,but they have to keep us busy.
(01:02:44):
I never dreamt of gettingmarried, but I dreamt of having
children, a huge brood, maybeeight or nine.
It never happened, and when Iturned 40, I had no husband, no
children, no house, no car.
I had some good qualifications,some very fine skills, and some
(01:03:06):
great stories to tell, butpeople don't care so much about
all of that now, for variousreasons.
I was at the birth of one of myfriend's children, so every year
I'm invited to that child'sbirthday party.
And on her fifth birthday party,I arrived at the house and there
(01:03:26):
was a woman at the gate with ababy in a basket and a toddler,
and they were struggling to getthrough the gate, so I went to
help them.
She looked at me and she said,what are you doing here?
You don't have any children?
Which made me feel on anotheroccasion, a family party.
(01:03:48):
And my nephew looked around theroom and he couldn't quite place
me within the family.
And then he said, oh, I get it.
You are the spare mommy.
Which made me laugh, but it alsomade me feel that I didn't have
a place unless I could callmyself wife or mother.
(01:04:13):
No one owned me, but I didn'tbelong to anyone.
And I, I started to feel that Iwas of no use, that I was no
one.
And I knew what was comingbecause I knew about the
menopause and it felt like theend of something.
(01:04:33):
But when it happened and Ibecame invisible, well, they
also became free.
But it wasn't all good, ofcourse, but it wasn't the end of
the world either.
And I could suddenly see clearlythat all those trappings people
said I needed that.
I felt I needed to be someone tobe a mistress.
(01:04:57):
A woman of importance.
Well, they were all juststories.
They were just spinning usyarns.
They were just spinning usbleeding.
(01:05:17):
And now I know All I need to dois just turn up to the day and
here I am.
Good day to you, Mrs.
Good day.
And that be enough.
I be enough.
(01:05:50):
Amen.
Full of grace.
The Lord is with me.
Blessed art bow among swimmingand blessed Holy Mary.
Mother God, pray for us sinnersnow and the of our death.
(01:06:48):
He went, he, holy God.
Spring, Jesus, spring thisdress.
(01:07:37):
Finish it.
(01:08:05):
Mistress for grace.
(01:08:35):
Mother of God, pray for us now.
And the ha Mary, full of grace,the Lord is come.
Blessed thou is a fruit.
(01:09:13):
Come now.
Take your courage as the flamesay, we may at the hands of some
men, but from the bow, we shallrise again.
I shall follow my sister and ingupon the face of it.
(01:09:37):
Our body, they may burn andbeat, but this Phoenix day shall
never defeat.
Come now.
Come now.
Each woman and courage, we mayburn at the hands of some men,
but from that shall rise.
(01:09:59):
And again, I shall call mysister street and up on the face
of it, our bodies, they may burnbeat, but this be shall never
defeat.
Shall never defeat so that's theplay of sisterhood.
(01:10:38):
What you might not have pickedup at the end was, the reason I
was coughing and splattering wasbecause Marjorie told me to
finish the wine and she'd addeda poison to it, which she.
Lets me know is there, so I'm,I'm aware of what I'm drinking
and I make the choice to do it.
we allude to it at the beginningof the play where I ask if she
has the means and she doesn'tsay anything.
And, so what she's done is she'sgiven the diamonds to.
(01:11:01):
The young girl and so she's, wedon't see how or whether it
works, but there's thepossibility of her being able to
escape or being able to bribethe prison guards or something,
use her sexuality and sensualityto maybe seduce them and and
whatever.
But basically she's got somediamonds.
There's the possibility of herbeing able to escape and she is
(01:11:21):
slightly.
Pasha than, than me andMarjorie, the old woman.
And so, yeah, she has more of achance and we've talked through
the plan with her, which wassort of hypothetical, but turns
out that there is theopportunity if she can make it
work.
And so she has that and I, um,handed.
The glass with poison in so thatI can make it quick and not have
(01:11:44):
to go through being tortured andhung.
And so I choose to drink thewine and so that's why I'm
coughing and spluttering at theend.
And that's why they're singingand praying kind of loudly as I
cough and splutter.
And then the door knocks, andthen that's the end of the play
in the book.
there's more, it goes on to,talk about.
there's an historical record ofan old woman called Marjorie
being hung in Wilmington forwitchcraft.
(01:12:08):
And it talks about like thestate she's in when they hang
her.
And it's not a very nice state,but there's no mention of anyone
else.
And so it suggests that the girldid get away.
and there's no mention of of me.
So yeah, that's the play.
I mean, it is pretty heavystuff.
It's not the most cheery, butit's also got a bit of galley's
humor.
I mean, there's a lot to it andit is wonderful to hear Sophia's
(01:12:30):
music over the top of it.
And yeah, I wanted to share itwith you.
It felt like this was the righttime to do it.
I promise things will be a bitmore upbeat after this.
We've got an interview withNaomi Smith who's a full coming
up, and then I've got some otherbrilliant guests lined up that
I'm really excited to share.
So yeah, we've gone there withthis one.
it was.
Something that I had intended todo already, but it's been extra
(01:12:52):
inspired by Sophia's passing toshare the creative project that
we worked on together.
And we did take this tour allover East Anglia and we went to
all the places where MatthewHopkins, the witch finder,
general, tortured, and executed.
Women and men, um, in the nameof witchcraft.
He was a serial killer.
(01:13:13):
He had no legal right to bedoing what he was doing, and,
uh, made a thousand pounds backin the tutor times, which was a
huge amount of money from one,uh, local council that he turned
up to and said, got any witches?
I'll go rid of them for you.
And.
If he pay me and some peoplewere paying him, he made loads
of money and yeah, had no rightto do it and killed.
60% of the witches killed in theUK were by him.
(01:13:36):
He was 27 when he died.
He was, discredited, whichwasn't as bad as being tortured
and executed, but in the T timeswas.
Like your reputation waseverything.
And we performed this play thatyou just heard the recording of
in Barry and Edmonds at the, uh,I can't remember what the
building was, but it's themuseum and the museum's in the
(01:13:57):
courtyard of the old town.
It might have been the marketbuilding or the corn exchange or
something like that, but theMus, the Barry s museums.
In this building that would'vebeen there at the time of him
being there possibly would'vebeen one of the spaces that he
used to torture the people thathe was torturing.
'cause he then lined up ahundred people to be hung as
(01:14:19):
witches.
And that's when the.
Government that there was, whichwas very tenuous because it was
during the Civil War.
They got wind of it and waslike, hang on a minute.
A hundred witches, this soundsimplausible.
And so they sent some peopledown and came and discredited
him.
I think one or two people werestill hung for witchcraft, but
not a hundred.
And the reason why he was ableto get away with what he was
(01:14:42):
doing was because there was theCivil War and Oliver Cromwell
was in the throes of taking overthe country and.
Chopping off the head ofCharles, the first, and so the
world, the, the UK was indisarray and a lot of the men of
the families or men of the townwho might have stood up for, or,
questioned what was going onwould, were elsewhere, were
(01:15:05):
fighting battles.
And uh, Puritan had recentlygone through East Anglia kicking
up a further about fear andenemies and the devil is amongst
us and all this stuff.
And then.
Hopkins came wandering throughafterwards going, so anyone here
in league with the devil?
And everyone's like, ah,everyone's in league with the
devil.
They're in league with them justpointing the finger everywhere.
(01:15:25):
And then he made loads of moneytaking them out.
And when someone was accused ofwitchcraft, you lost your
property.
So if someone did have a a, anheir, then they wouldn't
inherit.
The house it went to, thegovernment it went to, well, the
local council.
And so people literally, theywere like, oh, well.
And that's why it was easy totake out old women because they
didn't have anyone to defendthem.
(01:15:47):
And then the council got theirproperty, so it was all very
calculated.
Like whole families would betaking out problem neighbors,
anyone who was a troublesomefamily, they just accuse the
whole family of being witchesand take their land.
And then, yes, vulnerablesingle.
People, old women, especiallyanyone who couldn't stand up for
themselves was um, taken out.
And we went and performed in allthe places where Matthew Hawkins
(01:16:10):
did this in East Lia.
Not at every single one of them,but uh, we did a key, key places
tour.
And in each place we then did ahealing ceremony.
So when this play finishes, wethen did a healing ceremony
where we put down stones thatwe, in one stone, uh, filled
with.
Acknowledgement of peoples thatwe felt were being picked on or
(01:16:33):
tortured or, you know,mistreated in the world today.
And then a stone for hope, likeour prayers and our hopes.
And we put them in the middle ofthe circle and then Sophia went
round and blessed them andcleansed them with her singing
bowls.
And we cleanse the space and.
It just made such a difference.
(01:16:54):
Like when we were doing it, thebeginning performances were like
thunder and lightning, and therewas a point where I said, we're
just forgiving and forgettingMatthew Hopkins just to let it
go.
You know, let him go.
But when I said we're forgivingand forgetting Matthew Hopkins,
it was a huge crack of thunder.
And then we performed the playat the Red Lion in Man Tree.
Which was the pub that he pulledhis neighbor out by the hare and
(01:17:17):
accused her of being a witch.
And that began the whole witchcraze.
And her name was ElizabethClark, And the only other play
that I've ever written hip wasabout.
Elizabeth Ann Clark, both playshave been about Elizabeth Clark
inadvertently, and I do feellike I have some, I.
Sort of past life connectionwith all this.
(01:17:38):
Uh, the, it turned out when wewere booking the tour of Matthew
Hopkins, that Braintree, whereI'm from, was literally slap
bang in the middle of his web.
And when we were looking forsomewhere to perform the nearest
place to Braintree, where I'mfrom, was Cosal.
And when we went there, my momwas like, oh, we used to live
there and pointed to a cottageon the ducking bridge in Coho.
(01:17:59):
And I said, I've never lived inCoho.
And she, oh, it was when I waspregnant with you.
And I also have got a strongconnection to Aborigine culture.
I think I might have a past lifeas an aborigine as well.
And in that culture, the firsttime the baby kicks in the
mother's womb, they believe thesong lines jumped up through the
mother and kickstarted the babyinto life.
And so I would've been on theducking bridge when I was
(01:18:21):
kickstarted into life by thatsong line.
So there's lots of.
Weird connections with all ofthis.
I've nearly drowned six times inthis life.
I've spent my, I've spent 36years living as a Tudor, working
at a Tud in Atman where I didnearly drown and I saw someone
in Tudor costume jump in to saveme, um, who turned out not to be
there.
And then that set me off on theshamanic journey, and that's
(01:18:42):
what got me into fooling and allthe spiritual stuff that I'm
into.
So yeah, lots of connections andinterweavings, but the reason
why I wanted to share this withyou today was because of.
The Sophia connection and herbeautiful soundscape.
So this is in honor of you,Sophia, and thank you for all of
the beautiful, creative thingsthat we did together.
(01:19:04):
They were so much fun.
You're a wonderful spirit and,uh, yeah, you still live on, in
everything, in my memories inthe moonlight and the sunlight,
and in the swallows, and thepeacocks and the rainbows, and
in this beautiful.
Play that we created together.
So if you want to watch the fullvideo, it's on YouTube, on La
(01:19:25):
Luna Coven.
If you type in Sisterhood LaLuna Coven.
And you can also read the novel,I turned the play into a novel
and that's on Amazon.
So thank you ever so much.
I hope you enjoyed.
That's as much as one can and Ishall.
See you next week.
See the anon.
The.
(00:50):
Welcome to The Nonsense In theChaos.
I'm your host, Jolie Rose.
Tonight's podcast is a specialone in reverence to Sophia, who
is my friend who passed away.
It's the recording of the playthat we took on the road
together.
I created this play in 2017.
(01:14):
I want to say I created it withmy.
Mentor and my protege, who's nowvery much like my keeper.
But, my friend Cara, I havetalked about this in the
previous podcast, but just as aquick, debrief, I.
(01:35):
Did an ayahuasca ceremony thatwas dedicated to the divine
feminine and it was anincredible evening and it was
before I'd really heard of thegoddess rising and she rising
and the divine feminine and allthat stuff.
It was all new to me at thispoint and I had an incredible
night of being worshiped.
That was amazing, and it feltjust so powerful.
(01:58):
It was such an life changing.
It turned out to be moment andin the morning I had this vision
that I needed to write a playcalled Sisterhood with my mentor
and my prodigy.
So these two women that werevery special to me that never
met each other, but the wisdomthat my mentor had passed on to
me.
I knew that I'd passed on to myprotege and I.
(02:21):
Just knew I had to write a playwith them.
That's all I knew.
And I thought it was gonna bekind of vagina monologues vibe.
It was like modern.
I'd been working a lot intheater and, uh, taking shows up
to Edinburgh and, and smashingEdinburgh with different
performances.
And in my head I thought it wasgonna be this really modern
show, really fast pace.
To my surprise, I make reallygentle work.
(02:42):
both the plays that I'vewritten, hip and sisterhood are
both very gentle, which I findsurprising and in fact, Bane's
pretty gentle as well.
It seems that my creations aregentle.
My books are pretty hardhitting, but yeah, my.
Although I think my new one thatI've just nearly finished is
quite gentle.
But on the whole, yeah, my worktends to be surprisingly gentle.
(03:05):
I think it's surprising'cause Ithink of myself as being quite,
uh, fast-paced and bolshy andloud and bright and brash.
But maybe I'm not as much thatas I think I am.
And.
I got funding from the artscouncil and we hired a cottage
and it was just fate that led tothe cottage that was rented.
I took my mentor and my protegeand a designer, a graphic
(03:29):
designer, a lighting designer,and.
A statistician, all women, andwe locked ourselves in this
cottage for a long weekend andcreated this show.
And right at the beginning, mymentor said that the play is
trying to tell itself and all wehave to do is get out of the
way.
And what came through was thatit was Beltane at the time.
There were lambs bleeding, therewas birds chirping.
(03:52):
There were ravens trapped in ourfireplace.
Oh jack Doors that were trappedin our fireplace when we got
there that we had to let out.
There was blossom falling fromthe trees and.
We were in Wilmington and wewere right next to this old
church yard with a giant ancienttree in it, and we.
We sat in the church and therewas this beautiful stained glass
window with a phoenix on it thatwas spilling fire light in the
(04:17):
golden hour over us as we sat inthis beautiful old church.
And my mentor said, oh, you knowthat in the old days when you
didn't have a lockup, if avillage was too small to have a
lockup like Wilmington, then theonly building that would have,
you know, a safe space to lockpeople into would be a church.
So quite often they were usedas.
Sort of overnight prisons.
And I said, so if you're accusedof witchcraft, you might have
spent your last night in achurch.
(04:37):
And she said, yeah.
And we sat there in silence and,and then I was like, that's the
play, isn't it?
And.
I just worked on a play calledTestosterone, which was about a
man who was a trans man who wasin a male dressing room, trying
to work out what kind of man hewanted to be.
And what I liked about the playwas the limitations, so it being
(04:57):
confined in this space, but likeflights of fancy took it off to
other places, but it was withinthis contained space and I liked
how that worked.
And so with this play, I likethe idea of us being confined
within a church and that thewhole play is from there.
And there might be things thattake us off elsewhere, but.
The, the plays based in this oneconfined space.
So the play became, and weimprovised it.
(05:20):
So my mentor, myself and myprotege got into tutor a costume
and,'cause we had them with us,we just brought all our stuff
with us and so we had Kenmorecostumes with us and we went and
improvised this play.
It was, uh, originallyimprovised in the laundry room
of the cottage, but we also wentand did some bits of
improvisation up at the churchas well, and then captured,
(05:41):
literally we voice recorded whatwhat was said and captured it,
and then wrote it into thisplay, which I then turned into a
novel and that's available.
I'll put that in the show notes.
So you can also read this as anovel, which has got a slightly.
It's slight twist on it.
It's got a modern, three modernwomen as well that are in
parallel living in parallel tothe three women locked in the
church.
They're confined on a trainthat's broken down.
(06:03):
So with this, it's the audio ofthe play.
So it's not the best soundquality.
It's a bit echoy and it's from abig room.
So it's not got the same qualityas as studio sound, but it's got
the atmosphere and thesoundscape.
The music that's playing with itis Sophia.
So once I'd written the play, Ithen.
Found actresses to play theparts because my mentor and
(06:25):
Prodigy aren't actresses anddidn't want to do that.
So we, cast for it, found someactresses to play it, and then
Sophia did the soundscape forit.
And she was sort of dressed asmother goddess.
She was the mother goddess.
And then we were all in tune, acostume and the plays set.
Over the course of from Sunset,the golden hour through
nighttime to dawn.
(06:46):
there will also be a video ofthis and which you can see if
you go onto Patreon, it'll beavailable on there.
but there is also a video of iton my.
YouTube channel, which is the LaLuna cover YouTube channel, so
you can watch it on there.
If you type in sisterhood, theplay, it's there as a, a video
of the production, but the videoof this with me talking now and
(07:09):
it being a podcast, is availableon the Patreon page.
And yeah, so it's a bit of anexperiment doing this.
I have.
Recorded hip, but I recorded itin the studio reading the script
out.
Whereas with this, I think it'snice to hear the different
voices and I wanted to captureSophia's soundscaping.
So this is a dedication to her.
(07:29):
forgive me for it not beingstudio sound quality, but it's
play quality, so it's still goodenough to share with you
hopefully you enjoy it.
Come now.
(07:50):
Come now.
Each woman and girl, take yourcourage to the flames they call.
We may burn at the hands of somemen, but from that fight we
shall rise again.
I shall follow my sisters threeand up on the face.
(09:20):
Where, who?
My husband, my good fellow.
They're expecting still to come.
He'll come.
He got love.
They were they not comfortingthat what they were doing by
yonder Tree, does that notthink?
(09:41):
It seemed as if they werewaiting for us.
Where are my husband?
Where are my father?
Where are my jack door?
(10:12):
What would be that then?
It's a prayer I got smashed withand I did somewhere.
What?
Be a thought just for the treeasking what That'd be her
business.
Do they be you mistress?
(10:42):
This cans not be smoke.
What be that then?
Does it curse?
And where For beer, upon a pieceof paper.
And you know how to make one.
I read about them in my father'slibrary now trespassing, my
father's library to learn tomake a curse.
What?
(11:02):
I found it in a book or somesuch.
My father has booked somecurses.
Was on a book.
Was on some papers.
Does that what they be writingin books these days?
Time was when they just comeknock on my door.
When did I get my letters?
Here?
Let me look when I can't hearthe, since I eight summer, my
(11:27):
father had a school who'd be acuring my father.
Now what Pieing, my father froma book found in his library, was
not in a book, was on somepapers.
I found them.
Found them together in a leathercover of.
(11:50):
But I think maybe there were mybrothers.
Oh, well she was a sweet thing.
In truth, I do not remember her.
Ah, she was, when she cut tieson me there, that worked a
squiggly little thing.
(12:11):
Couldn't wait to get into thelight.
Now, that was first, but thatwas fast.
No more than two hours in thebearing.
And thy blessed mother beamedwhen she laid eyes on me as if
that were to fresh may mourn.
I did not know that.
I can't remember.
Well, I remember it well.
(12:33):
I liked our mother.
She was a sweet thing, and shewas sent all that way from the
lowlands on her own to marry thyfather.
This be finally made it lookgood that we'll do upon
tomorrow.
Wherefore that cursing though,father, it was to force me to
(12:57):
marry.
For this reason.
I lived right the curse toprotect myself from him and to
protect myself from others.
No children are coming for me,for I have no children.
(13:20):
That's what I was doing by.
I've always wanted a daughter.
I'm from a long line of reallylovely mothers.
My great nan, my Nan, my mom andme were all alive until I was 15
(13:43):
years old, and I desperatelywanted to keep this line going.
And although I did get pregnantwhen I was 21, I didn't keep it.
It was with some random guy.
I just finished university andnone of that was what I planned,
so I didn't keep her pretty sureit was a girl.
Years later, I met my husbandand we started trying for
children, but after a few yearswe realized that it wasn't
(14:04):
happening.
So we started to do IVF to doIVF.
You have to inject yourself inthe stomach every day for 30
days, and then you build up todoing it twice a day, and then
three times a day your stomachgoes black and blue with bruises
and you feel like a human pinkcushion.
The first lot of injectionssimulate the menopause and the
next lot flood your body withestrogen.
(14:25):
And this makes your ovaries openup like honeycombs.
Each honeycomb is a follicle,and that's where the X pop out.
Once I have simulated and Iopened up 24 follicles and the
nurse said to me, don't you gohaving sex, so you might end up
with 24 babies.
I really wanted a daughter, butI didn't want 24.
oh, I had to have nineultrasounds, which were really
(14:46):
painful because one of myovaries is often an adventure,
and so the nurse had to pump onmy stomach in order to find it.
I had to have about 30 bloodtests and two operations, two
lots of two week weights only tofind out that it was all for
nothing.
And then there was a time whereI overstimulated, where I
basically overdosed on estrogen.
I put on loads of weight andwent completely mad.
(15:07):
The best way to describe myselfduring that time was a weeping,
volatile puffer fish, and myhusband just had to wh in a cup.
He felt really guilty about itthough.
I often think back to thedaughter that I never had.
I wonder what she would've beenlike.
She'd be 19 this December.
I wonder whether we would've goton.
I'd like to hate.
(15:27):
We would.
I just need a drink now.
That be the first sensible thingthat I said since I've got here.
(15:51):
Just I think there'll be wine.
Bye.
There will be wine.
That'll be the blood of Christ.
I wish greatly to drink of bloodof Christ come.
That can help look too young, mathem.
So don't look, don't get.
(16:24):
I can pick locks.
Was that learned in a librarytoo?
It's not getting into thelibrary.
(16:45):
Whatever happens upon themurder, it'll be better than
being sold off to some violentmaster upon the Murray.
It actually shot by curse byfather.
That will put the fear of Godinto him.
What does I think that will doto us upon the may have?
There will be a trial a I willtry.
(17:09):
Will my father be there?
Hi.
I think all the folks from theVillage will be and take you
see?
Their husband will be there.
He better be there.
If he's gonna leave me here tobe chasing in front of the whole
village, he'd bloody better bethere.
I'm gonna look him right in theeye.
(17:31):
When my sisters come, they'regonna make all the women from
the village come.
We all had to watch Mary Charco.
What if, what if we should notbe here when they come for
(17:55):
tomorrow?
I've been thinking upon this,but there is a fellow set
outside and they're gonna hearthe glass in the station.
No, I mean, not here.
Not here.
Make it quick.
(18:19):
Just don't know how to make itquick.
I, that's other, other means.
No, I think that'd be a fineidea.
Let us get drunk first tillwe're well within our cups.
(18:41):
Then we'll upon the matter.
Come on.
Yes.
Now we'll have a drop of wineand listen to the good Lord's
words and that will strengthenour spirit.
(19:01):
I will have to listen to thegood Lord's words whilst we
drink the blood of Christ.
That's be what we're going to doyoung lady and I won't have
these stand there like that withour hands on my hips looking at
me like that.
I just not wish to hear thewords of Christ.
Does not believe in him.
Oh, thankfully, not to tell mewhat I done and does not believe
in.
(19:22):
They've told us to change ourminds and what to believe in.
I don't know what weights beingup or down.
And what now, do I do the rightthing by giving Dee a cup first?
I know that.
Well, I do now come and see.
(19:46):
Hi.
Sit thy earth here.
And in the last of this preciouslight, we will hear these words
out.
Taste of the wine better than afellow mistress.
Now I have th letters.
(20:07):
I know this because I found Icurse in a library.
She found her curse in a.
Yes.
Okay.
At this time I was very sorryand reluctant to die.
(20:28):
Does this be the Bible?
No, it is not the Bible.
It is Julian of knowledge.
Lucy Na not is a she a mistress.
I have never held a book writtenby a mistress before fly.
She was an anchorite.
(20:48):
Oh.
That one of the women that wasbricked into the charge walls
may not bricked in.
Well, I, she was bricked in, butshe retired there from life and
gave herself to the Church ofKnowledge out of her own choice.
And there she spent the rest ofher days living in its walls.
(21:12):
And there she wrote a book.
Hi.
Now read Mistress that they'llwant any of this mistress.
My feet will swing in themorning.
Might as well get it down, Lee.
How?
Go on read.
(21:34):
Not because there was anythingon earth that I wanted to live
for, nor because I fearedanything nay.
I fear nothing.
Nay for I trusted in God I, IDom.
So I thought my good Lord, maymy ceasing to live be to thy
(21:54):
glory.
Then God brought our lady intomy mind.
Now, when does the priest everbring forth our lady into our
mind?
Never is a bastard.
Well carry on.
Come on.
Um, I saw her spiritually andbodily likeness in Meek and
(22:20):
simple maiden of edge, insanebodily form as when she
conceived.
I had seen her, I had seen herdown at the, well, I had seen
her down by the river.
I, but they were speakers tobirds and now does not and which
of must be the bigger fool, butjust for why folks talk about
the, they are the one thatcuring by Bo young mate.
I, from a book now Keep going.
(22:45):
Um, God also showed me part ofher wisdom and truth of her
soul.
So I understood with whatreverend she beheld her God and
how reverently she marveled thathe chose to be born of her.
A simple creature of his ownmaking.
(23:06):
For made her marvel was that hewho was the maker chose to be
born of a creature he had made,which moved her to say very
humbly to the angel Gabriel,behold the handmaiden of the
Lord.
And this night I reallyunderstood that she is greater
(23:27):
in worthiness and in all gracethan all that God made below
her.
But nothing that is made isabove her except the blessed
manhood of Christ.
Amen.
Then what happens?
There's this thing that is madethat is below our lady, Saint
Mary.
God showed it to me as small asif it had been a hazelnut, as
(23:49):
small as if it had been ahazelnut.
I flew one day that flew, ofcourse I did with the birds and
I did see this where I did somesmall, just above over Kingston
and back again.
For the view, did I fly asmyself or as a bird?
(24:10):
I flew as me.
What?
Nothing did.
Seabee?
No.
No folks noticed anything aroundhere.
Least of all flying things.
Least of all flying women who'vegone through the change.
The change, hi.
The end of my monthly courses.
The courses that come eachmonth.
(24:33):
The blood that flows between mylegs.
How would I say know of this?
How?
How, if I know of this, what hasNo one had a good sense to tell
me of their meaning.
The priest said, do not listento a words that priest tells
them.
(24:55):
The power know of this.
You have them.
It What tells the about of tobearing age?
What is, what tells the, if theyare a child, if a child had
taken, then the blood does notissue fault.
If it issues fault just thyheart, we can forth bloody tears
from between thy legs.
Nate is not thy heart thatbleeds does the mess of thy womb
(25:16):
That issues forth, but there isno egg growing within it to
warm.
But each moon thy womb makes anew nest.
But the priest said was a cursemade, did not a curse.
It is a blessing for some, forall.
(25:38):
Thy womb is a magic chance, aball of power, whether it is
with child or without child.
With its monthly courses orwithout, well, my monthly
courses have stopped, but itstill have magic.
(25:58):
What might it be?
That then mistress, it does makeme invisible.
Invisible.
Hi.
Since the change folks in thevillage can see me, not hear me,
not smell me, not unless intruth I wish to be seen, which
is not off, which is why theycould not see me when I flew.
(26:22):
But I could see them all rightdown there and I could see all
that tiny little lights fromtheir fires.
I did not like it much.
It was sort of flying and sortof floating, but I remembered
her and the hazelnut.
But to me it looked more like a,like a walnut.
(26:46):
What the earth does it looklike?
A walnut?
Listen, the path of a good life.
Is to keep getting far more fromfar less.
Why I like breeze on the cheekin that moment.
Can, can open you up toeverything.
(27:08):
Half times I while away, half aday, sitting by a patch of grass
just looking upon it because,because it's the most beautiful
thing I have ever seen.
I have a favorite patch of grassthat I sit by up on wind over
hill where the air tinkles thatgrassy patch dances daily with a
(27:35):
flight of tiny blue butterflies.
Um, we call Holly Blues andlittle wild bees skipping and
hopping lightly over these.
These wild carrot flowers thatlook like toad stools of cow
parsley and whites and pinks.
(27:57):
And in a place like this, I canbreathe and all this, all this
is on that hazelnut or walnut.
Read that bit again.
(28:26):
And this night I reallyunderstood that she is greater
in worthiness and in all gracethan all that God made below
her.
And all the men he put betweenthem for nothing that is made is
above her except.
The blessed manhood of crust.
(28:47):
There is thing that is made thatis below our lady sent.
Mary, God showed it to me assmall as if it had been a
hazelnut.
Jesus, our Lord on Earth had amother.
Mary.
Do you see?
Mary is God's mother on earth.
She be his mother.
Mary is God's mother.
(29:08):
Aye that priest dwells not muchon that part of the Bible now
does he?
Jesus.
Oh Lord had a Mother Mary andeverything that is below her,
which is everything unto theLord's greatness and the
greatness of Mother Mary is assmall as if it were a hazelnut
(29:30):
or a walnut.
And that is what it will alllook like to us once they have
taken us.
(29:57):
Will be their mother or son.
They've both forsaken me.
I prayed to them both.
I prayed and I've prayed andI've prayed and I've prayed.
I did that.
Pray for thy will for God's way.
I prayed, I prayed for a child.
It's gonna be a child of God.
I see your wife for.
I should be getting punished forwanting just what any good wife
(30:20):
wants.
They are not being punished forwhat they're yearning.
They are being punished by menfor what they were gonna do.
Casting spells and.
I'll swing a spell.
It was a prayer.
May have was not our good Lordor Mother Mary's will the which
(30:41):
mistress if I be one then nowone, two.
(31:02):
What will they do Joseph, ontomorrow?
Are they gonna beat us and talkto us and focus for devastating?
Stop thinking on it.
Death thou think it will be anybetter.
If that keeps going over andover it, that will not die.
One death thou will die.
50.
Think on the hazelnut.
(31:26):
Think of pulling out of thisworld.
Think of what is on thathazelnut.
Everything is on that hazelnut.
For this, I'm gonna make morewine.
(31:57):
Shall I see the bird again onthe other side?
Of course I will now shall berid of us, gonna go to hell
because those bloody men andthat priest that will all go to
hell.
(32:44):
So what is TH's story then?
What all that doing with a cursein my bodies from my father's
library?
Well, my stepmother left me withmany sisters and my father wants
me bred and married.
Who would he have me married?
Monte You Creek?
Most recently?
(33:04):
Nay.
There's only so many timesyou'll let say nay.
Now we not getting any younger.
Not wish be on that V.
Well, my father has no sons.
What other purpose were mysisters and I filled and that
fellow's temper and his breath?
I would not let him lay a fingerupon me.
(33:25):
He touched me once it was, butonce and chief, I think it would
be better to be hung and touchedby him or there.
That'd be something to think on.
That'll cheer the up When thatlittle feet to begin to dance
mon you cre in this big, fat,leery face.
(33:45):
That's what that should shout.
The G, I'd rather be home andtouch by the, oh, rather, the
robes kiss.
They can't take that away fromme.
They can choke my little throatout, but they can't stop what
comes out of it.
I shall say My hail Mary's rightat the priest.
What can they do then?
They think they'd be hanging mefor my cunning.
(34:08):
Little do they know they've gotcat on their hands.
They may happen.
They'll cut me down and burn mewhen they find out.
Look, look here.
This, this has been on my personfor the last.
20 summers.
They never think of lookinghere.
(34:29):
See that tomorrow should takehide the May.
I could cover it with a prayerfor the U tree and then they
could hang me twice and burn.
I take my curse too and then behung three times.
(34:50):
I'll be hung three times for acurse.
Found in a Hail Mary full ofgrace.
The Lord is with me.
(35:12):
Blessed are thou amongst womenand blessed is a fruit of thy
womb.
Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God.
Pray for us sinners now and thehour of our death.
Our amen.
Ha.
Full grace.
The Lord is with thee.
(35:34):
Blessed our thou amongst formen, and blessed is the fruit of
thy wound.
Jesus.
Holy sun is done.
(36:10):
Want to about candy yet?
No, not yet.
Better yourself.
Let's enjoy the last light onthe sky and the first star.
(37:05):
What if my sister is to marryhim instead now?
Here.
This be the perfect charm forMontague Creek.
Does that know what this is?
(37:26):
What is it?
It is what Othello keeps in hisco piece.
Tisa Barb cot piece.
Nay Tisa foxes.
Now, in order for sister not tosettle with gold montague,
there's some honey we can dowith this because she take it
(37:48):
with them to the gallows.
And shout your own con is gonna,how will I get to the gallows
with me?
Well, now that they just mentionit though, have just brought to
mind there is one.
We just.
Mon Creek.
He lives on the street.
(38:12):
He's all his breath.
There's a furnace.
His feet, no one would like himif it went for his, that's what
it was tomorrow.
Oh.
See that song?
And then I will cast them alland I'll say, my hail Mary is I
(38:35):
does not know the Hail Mary.
What?
No.
She'd be too, Yu come.
It starts Hail Mary, full ofgrace.
Hail Mary.
(38:55):
Full of grace.
The Lord is with me.
The Lord is with the Blessed arethou amongst women.
Thou amongst women and blessedis the fruit of thy wo, no
offense, un taken and blessed isthe fruit of thy wo.
No offense, thou can leave thatplate out.
(39:17):
Blessed is the fruit of thy wombJesus.
And blessed is the fruit of thywomb Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God.
Now this one interesting.
Pray for us sinners now and atthe hour of our death.
Holy Mary, mother of God, holyMary, mother of God.
(39:39):
Pray for our sinners now and atthe hour of our death.
Pray for us sinners.
Pray for our sinners.
Pray for our sins.
Pray for our sins.
All of them.
All of them.
That one and that one, that one.
(40:00):
Holy Mary, mother of God, prayfor our sinners now and at the
hour of our death.
Holy Mary, mother of God, prayfor our sinners now and at the
hour of our death.
Amen.
Now, does that not make you feela bit better and truth?
(40:24):
It does.
It may have to be the wine.
(40:47):
When they made thy curse in thelibrary, what did they hope
would do?
I hope it would help me escape.
(41:14):
If you enjoy this podcast, thenplease consider supporting me on
Patreon.
This is patreon.com/joly Rose.
I am dreaming of the day thatthis is my full-time job and I
hope that this is something thatI am able to work towards the.
(41:36):
Difficulties of living on anisland where there isn't a huge
number of people to be theaudience and to share
experiences and events with.
It means that I can once a yearput on a festival and possibly I
could once a year put on a show,but it's not the same as when I
was living in Brighton or livingin the UK where I could just put
things on and do thingsconstantly and get funding from
(41:59):
the Arts Council and just livethe life of an artist, which
I've managed to do for the last20 years and I'm very proud of.
But now I've moved here and itwas really important to me.
To make this shift, like I movedto be more in nature and more in
the land.
and I shifted into hopefullywriting, but being more in
nature and being in this amazingspace where I don't need to be
(42:23):
able to drive'cause there are nocars.
The island is only one mile wideand three miles long.
And for me to be able to connectwith audiences and connect with
people online rather thanphysically, I was on the road
all the time and moving aroundall the time and going to
meetings constantly and just mycarbon footprint and.
Hecticness was off the chartsand I didn't want to go back to
(42:46):
that life as well.
Like it felt like we learnedsomething from the lockdown,
which was to slow down and tolive differently and I've then
found myself in this completelydifferent reality doing that,
and I want to.
Stick with it.
I want to keep, keep to still bean artist, but in this space,
(43:07):
which is a completely isolatedisland, miles away from
everybody else, but with thepower of the internet.
And This is work that I'm hopingnourishes you and gives you some
sort of spiritual solace andstrength and nourishment.
And if you feel like it is doingthat, then.
If you are up for helping me toliterally eat and be able to pay
(43:32):
my rent and, buy new equipment,I'm not happy with the equipment
I've got.
I'd be amazing to be able to payan editor one day'cause it takes
me so long to do.
I'm doing all of the, I'm doingeverything on this and I'm
learning as I go along.
So if you are able to help methe first tier of the Patreon is
just three pound a month, whichis, the same as you buying me a
(43:53):
coffee to say thank you.
That would be amazing if youfeel like you would.
Consider doing that.
And then if you do the secondtier, which is nine pound a
month, then for that you alsoget to see the videos of the
podcast and any other free bitsof, stuff that I get to share
and discounts on courses andthings like that.
(44:13):
And mainly a huge amount ofappreciation for me and I do
appreciate so much the peoplewho are already helping me.
Thank you to my Patreons.
I can't say how much it means tome that you are supporting me.
Thank you.
And just to let you know aboutsome of the things that I do
that you can.
(44:34):
Come and take part in is themoon ceremonies that I do every
fortnight.
If you want to join these,they're free and they're over
zoom and all you have to do isfollow on Facebook or Instagram,
which are both at queer arts,K-R-I-Y-A-A-R-T-S.
If you follow me, then you'llsee the links.
I put them up.
Every fortnight and you justcome along and they're really
(44:58):
nourishing, beautiful spaces Andthen towards the end of May is
the beginning of the witch fall.
You course.
And I.
Urge you to do this course.
If you can see or sense thepower of working with archetype,
then do get involved, do comeand join for this deep dive and
(45:19):
this deep journey.
I'm really looking forward togiving myself over to this
cycle.
I do it every year and everyyear I learn something new and
I'm.
I'm gonna rewrite a myth thistime.
I'm gonna rewrite the story ofVenus where she bins off Mars
and gets together with Mercury.
That's what I'm gonna be doingthis time, so I'm gonna be
writing a myth, which feels likebig work.
(45:42):
So come join me if you're up fordoing some God-like level
archetypal work, really messingwith the matrix and.
Creating reality then uh, comeand get involved.
that's it for now.
I will let you know as otherthings come up.
But yeah.
(46:02):
Exciting.
back to the show, I was neverforced to marry.
I still had every reason to meto escape.
(46:23):
Growing up was a crash course incrisis management.
I am 20 now and tried to facebecoming an adult.
Adult, more so a girl.
Um, my mother had my brother, aboy with beautiful golden ring
that's dad bounced as he ran.
Um, my dad bus off when I waslittle because he's a boy so he
can do whatever he likes.
Um, me and my brother, we foughtquite a lot when I was younger
(46:47):
'cause he, he just sat aroundplaying video games while I sat
and cleared our house becauseboys just don't understand
consequences until they're mucholder than us.
Darling, when I was 15 andfeeding my dad egg buddies on
the sofa because the alcohol hadruined him, it was me, not my
(47:09):
brother who looked after him.
And it was me who said, I'mdrinking vodka with my mom on a
school night because it wassnowing and my dad was falling
asleep under a hedge while mybrother, well, he started
setting fire to things becauseboys will be boys.
They need an outer.
When I was 18, um, my momfinally got up the courage to
(47:30):
follow the divorce.
It was me who fronted the moneyfor my job.
I left school for at 16.
While my brother took Ketamineand his blood because well, boys
aren't very good at emotionaltraumas and boys need fathers.
I wonder when we're gonnarealize that this bullshit is as
damaging to them as it is to us.
(47:50):
It's affecting us.
All it.
What does that think that Ishould do upon tomorrow?
Laugh.
Curse.
(48:11):
Well then I shall curse myhusband, but that have not come
for me.
For me.
Have they held him back?
No.
My husband, he's as strong as anox.
If he'd wished to come for me,he'd be here by now.
No, he's gonna watch me swingupon the morrow for not giving
him an air.
I've done everything for thatfellow.
(48:32):
I've cooked for him, I'vecleaned for him.
I've tended to him.
I've done everything.
A good wife should, well, I'd bedone with thee and I'd be done
with thee.
Then be strong words.
They'd be strong words, but Isee no work here that shows his
love for me.
If this is fatherly love for hisflock, then I do renounce him as
(48:55):
Sarah's renounced my father.
I'm gonna be a child of the moonand the stars and the rain and
see what they'll do with me forI like my chances better.
Words of God.
No more of that bastard, priestand truth.
Good mistress is whatever willget thee through the night.
(49:23):
I could not renounce you.
Oh Lord, I, this is all I mayhope for.
I Ivy cursed.
It started once when I was withthe priest.
My father, he would beat itoutta me, but he could not.
I should have kept my eyes fixedupon across, but my eyes, they
hurt.
So from staring at me, I shouldhave be begged Christ, but I
(49:45):
could not.
I was too furious.
And in my period, I closed myeyes and still I saw Christ and
the priest were, keep speakingmistress.
I might as well tell it beforethe Morrow.
Well come now, girl.
Tell us what happened today.
(50:08):
You gotta fear pause within mymouth moving.
I felt I might throw up fromguilt and shame and dirt in all
(50:34):
them rotten festering feelingsand memories and truth was a
sensation as if my head didsplit open.
I, the priest spilled in mymouth.
I felt a gross substance leakfrom my cracked skull down my
(50:56):
face, into my eyes and nose andmouth.
And Jesus worked with me, waitedin silence, and then the air
shook about me.
I span in stillness and saw whatChrist was looking down upon the
(51:17):
perfect image of a priest and agirl frozen, such as the kind of
baptism.
The priest pulled from my mouth.
I returned to my body.
He left.
I stayed just waiting andkneeling, dripping, and then the
(51:45):
red hot waves buried into mybeing.
I saw red and white and glowingand burning, and then it still
sounded, fury took over my body.
I woke collapsed face first onthe stove floor.
I rose.
I cleansed myself.
I returned to my father's house.
(52:06):
It was not the first time northe last time that the priest
would call upon me, but, buttowards then those strange ways
of.
If Devil Fury did begin to takeover my being, at times well,
must I not see there's somethingwithin me that's rotten?
(52:30):
Who would God may I hope for?
We are not your father or thepriest or any other man who
tells that they wrong in thehead for what they have done to
them.
Mr has done nothing wrong.
It's the priest.
(53:10):
Now look here.
Young mistress.
If I could buy their way outtahere, what would they plan be?
Well, I know not, well think onit.
Let's say I could hand the Adiamond or two enough.
To get thyself out of here thatgave one to the guard to get out
of here.
(53:31):
Ret through the village.
Up over the hill, then whatwould that do?
There's not much I could do.
Damage can tell me into a man orfox.
No, but they could buy thegarment tattoo thinking this
will only make it harder up onthe morrow.
Suppose they're just not hang upon the Morrow.
Suppose they're all given somemoney.
Will I please try and constructa dream for thyself?
(53:54):
Girl, what would that do?
But imagine that would not beenborn and maid and had all these
troubles before then.
What was that again?
And be a fell.
Suppose I am of the dark eyesfor all my love of a virgin.
Suppose I could give me adiamond or two enough to buy
(54:16):
thyself out of here.
What would I do?
I may not work.
Go what?
Think on it.
But I run away when I was youngwith less summers than I have
now.
And I knew not where I was goingor what I was going to do, so I
had to make a plan.
And that takes each step at atime and now keeps going until
(54:37):
they are when I'm needed to be.
So think on it.
What are they going to do?
But is anyone different?
But imagine if thou had, uh,britches, huge copies because of
horses, and they stuck my horsea little deeper.
They went over hill and kept ongoing, and kept on going and
(54:58):
kept on going until thou came toa place where all did think that
thou were to third.
What would still do then?
Would thou play a trade?
Oh, I would not wish to be likemy father.
That's what that would not do.
Tell us not what that would notdo.
Tell us what they would do.
I join a shit.
(55:19):
Ah, no cross to high sea.
Well, five or six days.
That could be in Portsmouththere that could bypass passage.
I've heard of many women who'vecrossed the high seas.
They bind their breasts andartificially fellows.
Well, I thought, I wish that Ithought of such things yesterday
from a big eye problem.
I spent too much time thinkingon what my heart does not
(55:41):
desire.
Instead of thinking on what myheart does desire, now they're
going to buy thy way out ofhere.
I'll buy a big hat.
They'll buy big hat and I shall,oh, they'll buy a big account,
some gamble, and I'll buy a bigpurchase with a huge copies as
(56:03):
as big as an xis.
And I'll run away to high seat.
Now.
Now, now we need a plan.
Does sound, no, Portsmouth Na bean old woman there.
Her name is.
Mother Margaret, she is callednow.
Comes in on the old PortsmouthRoad.
There is an ash and an oak turnleft at the ash.
(56:27):
Travel a little further down theroad and now we'll see an inn.
It does not look like an inn.
It looks like a house.
Bang, three times meow like acat.
She will let the inn, um, f forthe ash.
Uh, look for the inn bang.
The three times meow like a cat.
(56:47):
Meow.
Ah, well she sounds like a rightcharacter to go play.
I'll have the, no, she's a goodfriend of mine and I won't have
you speak ill of her.
Now when they reach it there,tell her I have sent these a
parting gift.
Tell her thy plan without oughtto lodge with her, that she will
put the upstairs.
(57:07):
Just tell her not to throw thein with the rest of the girls
and she will find the, and Iwill have money for this.
The money speaks especially toMother Margaret.
She will find the outfit of, ofa sailor, but they ought not to
be taking a lowly job.
That must be taking a job as a,a sexton or a quarter master or
(57:29):
a quarter master's assistant.
I've never been to sea.
They were a quartermaster'sassistant.
She does not know what aquartermaster is.
It just means they must do thebills, keep the account.
Thou have th letters.
But because thou have thletters, thou must not be taking
a lowly job where they arehauling ropes or some sort and
(57:52):
do not go with any fellow whogives v the eye.
If, if he's giving V the eye, hecan think that they are a
fellow.
That would be the way he likesthem.
Or Jeff put his card in my mouthand he will not know the
difference.
But do not let'em know that theyare made to both up to have a
mistress on a ship.
They will cast the office.
Now they want to stay withMother till she finds the outfit
(58:15):
they needed and she willintroduce the to all the right
people, all the quartermaster.
So they be her regularcustomers, not three times I
knock, three times meow like acat.
Tell her I something.
Is that understood?
(58:35):
I now where that should begoing?
West Indies, east Indies.
Do I choose?
Where do I wish to go?
Where can they not construct adream for thyself?
Girl, I know.
Not in all my summers, none haveever let me think on the
(58:59):
thoughts such as these beforethat has never thought on
nothing except for reading booksand making curses for thy
father.
Now, where are they going to go?
Sugar.
(59:20):
Some place.
Hot.
Why?
Where would that be?
Spain, Portugal cannot trust theSpanish.
Go to Portugal.
It's much better.
Africa.
Africa.
I have never thought on Africa.
There are many things that havenever thought a pong.
(59:41):
Now when they're out in Africa,what are they going to do?
I know not.
What are my choices?
Well, think that was a richmaster.
In Africa, I shall need a trade.
I'm very true.
So pick one fish.
(01:00:02):
Can that fish?
I did not wish to fish.
That's a stinking job.
I could be a merchant.
Ah, that could trade silk.
That has no letters.
Look, if I can make a purse froma book in a library, I can work
as a merchant, then I can sellsilks and I can g and that could
(01:00:28):
take away, well, I think mostmistresses would be only two
peas to discover their masterwas in truth and made.
That just needs to keep bybeast.
And then you can use the handlethere.
Go have a plan, mistress Beast.
(01:01:28):
Where that go when?
When they turned away?
Everywhere and nowhere.
Back then I was visible.
Of course, some would say Toovisible.
Too visible.
I, back then there were somethat said I was quite a beauty.
(01:01:57):
How fancy not to look at me likethat.
Young mistresses did not everhave any children.
Nay bearing children is a conWell, it is a great big con to
chainless, mistresses to the bedand parlor.
But they know all too well if wewere out and about in the world,
(01:02:18):
that we'd be sticking our nosesinto their business at no time
and, and showing them how it allneeds doing.
Well, they can't be having that,but they have to keep us busy.
(01:02:44):
I never dreamt of gettingmarried, but I dreamt of having
children, a huge brood, maybeeight or nine.
It never happened, and when Iturned 40, I had no husband, no
children, no house, no car.
I had some good qualifications,some very fine skills, and some
(01:03:06):
great stories to tell, butpeople don't care so much about
all of that now, for variousreasons.
I was at the birth of one of myfriend's children, so every year
I'm invited to that child'sbirthday party.
And on her fifth birthday party,I arrived at the house and there
(01:03:26):
was a woman at the gate with ababy in a basket and a toddler,
and they were struggling to getthrough the gate, so I went to
help them.
She looked at me and she said,what are you doing here?
You don't have any children?
Which made me feel on anotheroccasion, a family party.
(01:03:48):
And my nephew looked around theroom and he couldn't quite place
me within the family.
And then he said, oh, I get it.
You are the spare mommy.
Which made me laugh, but it alsomade me feel that I didn't have
a place unless I could callmyself wife or mother.
(01:04:13):
No one owned me, but I didn'tbelong to anyone.
And I, I started to feel that Iwas of no use, that I was no
one.
And I knew what was comingbecause I knew about the
menopause and it felt like theend of something.
(01:04:33):
But when it happened and Ibecame invisible, well, they
also became free.
But it wasn't all good, ofcourse, but it wasn't the end of
the world either.
And I could suddenly see clearlythat all those trappings people
said I needed that.
I felt I needed to be someone tobe a mistress.
(01:04:57):
A woman of importance.
Well, they were all juststories.
They were just spinning usyarns.
They were just spinning usbleeding.
(01:05:17):
And now I know All I need to dois just turn up to the day and
here I am.
Good day to you, Mrs.
Good day.
And that be enough.
I be enough.
(01:05:50):
Amen.
Full of grace.
The Lord is with me.
Blessed art bow among swimmingand blessed Holy Mary.
Mother God, pray for us sinnersnow and the of our death.
(01:06:48):
He went, he, holy God.
Spring, Jesus, spring thisdress.
(01:07:37):
Finish it.
(01:08:05):
Mistress for grace.
(01:08:35):
Mother of God, pray for us now.
And the ha Mary, full of grace,the Lord is come.
Blessed thou is a fruit.
(01:09:13):
Come now.
Take your courage as the flamesay, we may at the hands of some
men, but from the bow, we shallrise again.
I shall follow my sister and ingupon the face of it.
(01:09:37):
Our body, they may burn andbeat, but this Phoenix day shall
never defeat.
Come now.
Come now.
Each woman and courage, we mayburn at the hands of some men,
but from that shall rise.
(01:09:59):
And again, I shall call mysister street and up on the face
of it, our bodies, they may burnbeat, but this be shall never
defeat.
Shall never defeat so that's theplay of sisterhood.
(01:10:38):
What you might not have pickedup at the end was, the reason I
was coughing and splattering wasbecause Marjorie told me to
finish the wine and she'd addeda poison to it, which she.
Lets me know is there, so I'm,I'm aware of what I'm drinking
and I make the choice to do it.
we allude to it at the beginningof the play where I ask if she
has the means and she doesn'tsay anything.
And, so what she's done is she'sgiven the diamonds to.
(01:11:01):
The young girl and so she's, wedon't see how or whether it
works, but there's thepossibility of her being able to
escape or being able to bribethe prison guards or something,
use her sexuality and sensualityto maybe seduce them and and
whatever.
But basically she's got somediamonds.
There's the possibility of herbeing able to escape and she is
(01:11:21):
slightly.
Pasha than, than me andMarjorie, the old woman.
And so, yeah, she has more of achance and we've talked through
the plan with her, which wassort of hypothetical, but turns
out that there is theopportunity if she can make it
work.
And so she has that and I, um,handed.
The glass with poison in so thatI can make it quick and not have
(01:11:44):
to go through being tortured andhung.
And so I choose to drink thewine and so that's why I'm
coughing and spluttering at theend.
And that's why they're singingand praying kind of loudly as I
cough and splutter.
And then the door knocks, andthen that's the end of the play
in the book.
there's more, it goes on to,talk about.
there's an historical record ofan old woman called Marjorie
being hung in Wilmington forwitchcraft.
(01:12:08):
And it talks about like thestate she's in when they hang
her.
And it's not a very nice state,but there's no mention of anyone
else.
And so it suggests that the girldid get away.
and there's no mention of of me.
So yeah, that's the play.
I mean, it is pretty heavystuff.
It's not the most cheery, butit's also got a bit of galley's
humor.
I mean, there's a lot to it andit is wonderful to hear Sophia's
(01:12:30):
music over the top of it.
And yeah, I wanted to share itwith you.
It felt like this was the righttime to do it.
I promise things will be a bitmore upbeat after this.
We've got an interview withNaomi Smith who's a full coming
up, and then I've got some otherbrilliant guests lined up that
I'm really excited to share.
So yeah, we've gone there withthis one.
it was.
Something that I had intended todo already, but it's been extra
(01:12:52):
inspired by Sophia's passing toshare the creative project that
we worked on together.
And we did take this tour allover East Anglia and we went to
all the places where MatthewHopkins, the witch finder,
general, tortured, and executed.
Women and men, um, in the nameof witchcraft.
He was a serial killer.
(01:13:13):
He had no legal right to bedoing what he was doing, and,
uh, made a thousand pounds backin the tutor times, which was a
huge amount of money from one,uh, local council that he turned
up to and said, got any witches?
I'll go rid of them for you.
And.
If he pay me and some peoplewere paying him, he made loads
of money and yeah, had no rightto do it and killed.
60% of the witches killed in theUK were by him.
(01:13:36):
He was 27 when he died.
He was, discredited, whichwasn't as bad as being tortured
and executed, but in the T timeswas.
Like your reputation waseverything.
And we performed this play thatyou just heard the recording of
in Barry and Edmonds at the, uh,I can't remember what the
building was, but it's themuseum and the museum's in the
(01:13:57):
courtyard of the old town.
It might have been the marketbuilding or the corn exchange or
something like that, but theMus, the Barry s museums.
In this building that would'vebeen there at the time of him
being there possibly would'vebeen one of the spaces that he
used to torture the people thathe was torturing.
'cause he then lined up ahundred people to be hung as
(01:14:19):
witches.
And that's when the.
Government that there was, whichwas very tenuous because it was
during the Civil War.
They got wind of it and waslike, hang on a minute.
A hundred witches, this soundsimplausible.
And so they sent some peopledown and came and discredited
him.
I think one or two people werestill hung for witchcraft, but
not a hundred.
And the reason why he was ableto get away with what he was
(01:14:42):
doing was because there was theCivil War and Oliver Cromwell
was in the throes of taking overthe country and.
Chopping off the head ofCharles, the first, and so the
world, the, the UK was indisarray and a lot of the men of
the families or men of the townwho might have stood up for, or,
questioned what was going onwould, were elsewhere, were
(01:15:05):
fighting battles.
And uh, Puritan had recentlygone through East Anglia kicking
up a further about fear andenemies and the devil is amongst
us and all this stuff.
And then.
Hopkins came wandering throughafterwards going, so anyone here
in league with the devil?
And everyone's like, ah,everyone's in league with the
devil.
They're in league with them justpointing the finger everywhere.
(01:15:25):
And then he made loads of moneytaking them out.
And when someone was accused ofwitchcraft, you lost your
property.
So if someone did have a a, anheir, then they wouldn't
inherit.
The house it went to, thegovernment it went to, well, the
local council.
And so people literally, theywere like, oh, well.
And that's why it was easy totake out old women because they
didn't have anyone to defendthem.
(01:15:47):
And then the council got theirproperty, so it was all very
calculated.
Like whole families would betaking out problem neighbors,
anyone who was a troublesomefamily, they just accuse the
whole family of being witchesand take their land.
And then, yes, vulnerablesingle.
People, old women, especiallyanyone who couldn't stand up for
themselves was um, taken out.
And we went and performed in allthe places where Matthew Hawkins
(01:16:10):
did this in East Lia.
Not at every single one of them,but uh, we did a key, key places
tour.
And in each place we then did ahealing ceremony.
So when this play finishes, wethen did a healing ceremony
where we put down stones thatwe, in one stone, uh, filled
with.
Acknowledgement of peoples thatwe felt were being picked on or
(01:16:33):
tortured or, you know,mistreated in the world today.
And then a stone for hope, likeour prayers and our hopes.
And we put them in the middle ofthe circle and then Sophia went
round and blessed them andcleansed them with her singing
bowls.
And we cleanse the space and.
It just made such a difference.
(01:16:54):
Like when we were doing it, thebeginning performances were like
thunder and lightning, and therewas a point where I said, we're
just forgiving and forgettingMatthew Hopkins just to let it
go.
You know, let him go.
But when I said we're forgivingand forgetting Matthew Hopkins,
it was a huge crack of thunder.
And then we performed the playat the Red Lion in Man Tree.
Which was the pub that he pulledhis neighbor out by the hare and
(01:17:17):
accused her of being a witch.
And that began the whole witchcraze.
And her name was ElizabethClark, And the only other play
that I've ever written hip wasabout.
Elizabeth Ann Clark, both playshave been about Elizabeth Clark
inadvertently, and I do feellike I have some, I.
Sort of past life connectionwith all this.
(01:17:38):
Uh, the, it turned out when wewere booking the tour of Matthew
Hopkins, that Braintree, whereI'm from, was literally slap
bang in the middle of his web.
And when we were looking forsomewhere to perform the nearest
place to Braintree, where I'mfrom, was Cosal.
And when we went there, my momwas like, oh, we used to live
there and pointed to a cottageon the ducking bridge in Coho.
(01:17:59):
And I said, I've never lived inCoho.
And she, oh, it was when I waspregnant with you.
And I also have got a strongconnection to Aborigine culture.
I think I might have a past lifeas an aborigine as well.
And in that culture, the firsttime the baby kicks in the
mother's womb, they believe thesong lines jumped up through the
mother and kickstarted the babyinto life.
And so I would've been on theducking bridge when I was
(01:18:21):
kickstarted into life by thatsong line.
So there's lots of.
Weird connections with all ofthis.
I've nearly drowned six times inthis life.
I've spent my, I've spent 36years living as a Tudor, working
at a Tud in Atman where I didnearly drown and I saw someone
in Tudor costume jump in to saveme, um, who turned out not to be
there.
And then that set me off on theshamanic journey, and that's
(01:18:42):
what got me into fooling and allthe spiritual stuff that I'm
into.
So yeah, lots of connections andinterweavings, but the reason
why I wanted to share this withyou today was because of.
The Sophia connection and herbeautiful soundscape.
So this is in honor of you,Sophia, and thank you for all of
the beautiful, creative thingsthat we did together.
(01:19:04):
They were so much fun.
You're a wonderful spirit and,uh, yeah, you still live on, in
everything, in my memories inthe moonlight and the sunlight,
and in the swallows, and thepeacocks and the rainbows, and
in this beautiful.
Play that we created together.
So if you want to watch the fullvideo, it's on YouTube, on La
(01:19:25):
Luna Coven.
If you type in Sisterhood LaLuna Coven.
And you can also read the novel,I turned the play into a novel
and that's on Amazon.
So thank you ever so much.
I hope you enjoyed.
That's as much as one can and Ishall.
See you next week.
See the anon.
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