June 13, 2025 • 48 mins
In the forty-second episode of Nonsense in the Chaos, we delve into the sacred significance of the number 42. As revealed in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, the answer to life, the universe, and everything is 42 — but the real puzzle lies in not knowing the question. This episode becomes a ‘Quest-I-On’ of its own, leading us to the word abundance.
Through this lens, we explore gratitude as a daily practice and learn how to trust the flow of the universe. I reflect on the many ways my life is filled with abundance — and how, if we look closely, so are all of ours. Join me for an intergalactic dance with meaning, mystery, and a healthy serving of bun-based philosophy.
The music and artwork is by @moxmoxmoxiemox
Nonsense in the Chaos is available on all podcast platforms or you can listen to it here… https://nonsenseinthechaos.buzzsprout.com
I'd love to know what you think! If you want to get in touch with me about anything on the podcast then email nonsenseinthechaos@gmail.com or you can follow me on Instagram and Bluesky @kriyaarts or at the Nonsense in the Chaos Page on Facebook.
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Thank you for all your support -x-
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:30):
The.
(00:55):
Welcome to The Nonsense in theChaos.
I'm your host, Jolie Rose.
This is number 42 in theNonsense in the Chaos series of
podcasts, and 42 is of coursethe meaning of life for.
You Douglas Adams fans outthere.
If you're not a Douglas Adamsfan, you need to get on that and
(01:16):
you need to read the hitchhikersky to the galaxy.
So the story goes that there's acomputer created called Deep
Thought he's created an order toanswer the big question to life,
the universe and everything.
And these, beings, these alienscreate this super computer and
they're like we set you thistask.
And he goes, oh, okay.
(01:37):
It's gonna take me a while tothink about it.
And they're like, oh, how long?
And he says, four and a halfbillion years.
And they're like, what?
Okay.
And he goes, but just thinkabout how great it'll be for you
to argue in the press and tophilosophize and what the answer
will be.
You guys are gonna be on thegravy train for all this time
and, be, it'd be beneficial toall of us.
(01:58):
And they're like, wow, youreally are clever.
And then they come billions ofyears later to come back to him
and ask him what the answer isand he goes I don't think you're
gonna like it.
And they say, no, go on, tell uswhat's the answer, the ultimate
answer to life, the universe andeverything.
And he says, 42.
And they're like, what?
(02:20):
And he says, it's, the problemis I don't think you understand
what the question?
is.
And I won't give any more away,any more spoilers, but he builds
a computer that is able toanswer what the.
Understand what the question isWhat is the question?
And I wrote a book that isn'tcompletely finished.
I need to do some more work onit, but it's mainly there.
(02:44):
So a book is in existence calledThe Meaning of Life that I wrote
when I was 42, and I did aSaturn return series where I
wrote a book when I was 28 whenI was 28.
Saturn returns to your birthchart every, I think it's 29
years.
So I wrote this book from 28 to29, and then certain signs who
(03:04):
are ruled by Saturn are alsoaffected by the seven year
chapters.
So the four, lots of seven that.
Make up that 28 year turnaround.
And I'm Capricorn so I'm ruledby Saturn and I do find that my
life has very clear seven yearchapters.
So I wrote my first book, theGirl Who Ruled the World when I
(03:25):
was 28 years old, and that waspublished by King's England
Press.
You can buy it on Amazon if youGoogle Jolie Booth the Girl Who
Ruled the World.
There's a book that I wrote whenI was 28 and I describe it as,
train spotting meets 50 shadesof gray.
It's very rude and verydeported, and it captured an
amazing year.
Like I just started writing andit's quite, it suits the short
(03:48):
attention span psyche of theworld we now live in at the
time.
That was just me writing likethat.
'cause I'm probably a DHD, so Iwas already, I was ahead of the
curve.
'Cause I only, I wrote the book,I think it's 2006 to 2007, and I
only joined Facebook in 2007.
I.
(04:08):
And yeah, so the whole, likewriting how you're feeling in
your, in your profile you putlike, how you feeling today?
It used to be that you'd putthese little comments and you'd
write tweets and we got used towriting in short little Tweety
lengths, but at the time thatwas not how we spoke.
And yet this book was written inthat language, in its stream of
consciousness.
(04:29):
And it's about a charactercalled Esmeralda.
And for legal reasons.
It's definitely fiction, but um,there's a lot of it that isn't
fiction and.
I follow my life over the courseof a year just writing snippets
of things down.
So there's things that I havemagpie from other people and
things that I've just seen andheard around the place, and bits
(04:50):
that are completely made up.
So it's called auto fiction.
So it's autobiographical, butit's fiction and that's what all
my books are i'm just finishingmy fourth novel now which is
called Walking With Autumn, andthat's about my first
pilgrimage.
And in this one I am actuallyusing my real name and that's
gonna get published this year.
I found a publisher.
Just need to, we haven't signedany contracts or anything yet,
(05:11):
so we're not gonna say anythingabout that yet, but that should
be out towards the end of theyear and.
So that's a separate, I'm gonnanow write a book for each of the
pilgrimages that I've done, andthat's like a separate body of
work.
The Girl Rules the World is partof a series called Saturn
Returns.
And so I'm writing a book everyseven years, dipping back into
(05:32):
the character of Esmeralda andwhat's going on in her life,
which is basically my life.
But like I say.
Big chunks of it aren't true.
And some things are completefantasy.
There's like things in it thatcan't be real.
So I wrote The Girl Rule TheWorld at 28, then A 35 is Never
Worn and Never Worn.
Comes from Hemingway having abet that he could write a story
(05:54):
that would hit you emotionallywith just six words, and it was
for sale.
Baby's shoes never worn.
Really sad.
And it was about going throughIVF and that whole journey, it
captured the year of thathappening.
So at 28, I basically wasbecoming an adult and kind of
realizing that the world wasn't.
(06:15):
Waiting with a big red carpetand fanfare for me.
And it was a sort of a bit of ashock'cause I'd done drama
school and I'd really believedthat I was gonna be somebody and
I really believed I was gonna besuccessful and famous and went
to drama school, still feelingall of that.
But I went quite late.
I was like 26 I think when I.
(06:35):
Joined and then when I came out,the other end was screwed out.
The other end, I was suddenly 29and it was like, oh shit, I'm
nearly 30.
It hasn't happened and it isn'thappening now, so it's not
happening.
And yes, of course I could stillbecome a famous actress later on
and da da da, da, but it wasjust.
It wasn't what I thought wasgonna happen, which was to be
(06:56):
the ue, the sexy, young actress.
You know that wasn't gonnahappen if I did become famous.
Now it would be as an olderactress, and that wasn't the
dream or the vision and.
Then found myself at 35 workingin a call center and doing IVF,
and I was like this reallywasn't what I planned at all,
(07:17):
and felt like a total failure,and that was really dark and
that was a dark place to be in.
And then 42 was me and myex-husband splitting up and me
walking across the country on myfirst pilgrimage and ending up
in SARC and meeting Dizzle,who's my husband now.
And that was, yeah, that was abig chapter change as well.
So it does feel like every sevenyears of my life does a huge
(07:39):
chapter change.
That was 42.
I'm already 46 now, so I've gotthree more years and I'll be
writing another book and we'llsee what comes up.
Then I'll be turning 50.
I can't believe I'm getting thatold now.
It's mad.
It's mad.
I feel younger now than.
When I turned 30, it was areally big deal for me because
my dream or what I thought I wasgonna be was disappearing and I
(08:02):
was too old to be it.
And all my mates were like, weare not old.
We're old.
Thirty's not old.
We're not old, blah, blah.
And I was like, yeah, but it'sit.
I'm too old to be the thing thatI thought I was gonna be.
So for me it's old.
And then since then they allstruggled turning 40, whereas I
was like, ah, I'm used to thisshit now.
Like I've been old for ages,like I don't care.
And actually now I feel youngerthan ever.
(08:24):
And yeah, although there isobviously an age gap between me
and dle, it's not noticeable.
So.
Yeah it's been cool writingthese books every seven years,
and I've always loved DouglasAdams and the number 42 and the
meaning of life and what themeaning of life has felt like
for me and has led me to move toSARC was trusting the unknown,
(08:46):
which is the whole point of thispodcast.
The thing I love aboutpilgrimage and I, I just um, had
a really cool meeting with.
A whole new group of people thatI'm gonna be walking a new
pilgrim.
Well, It's a route that I'vedone before, but it's a new
group of people and it's a freshbody of work.
Walking from Cornwall canal andnear land's end 500 miles to the
(09:08):
Norfolk Coast and it'll take twomonths.
And walking this September andOctober, I need to start
training'cause I'm really unfit.
So I need to get into shape andget fit for it.
And.
Part of the reason why I'm sounfit is'cause I didn't walk
last year, and that was thefirst year I've had off since
starting doing this in 2020.
And what it taught me wasthere's two, two archetypes from
(09:31):
the tarot that I think arerelevant to.
The pilgrim and that is thehermit card.
'cause it's about you doing yourinner work and walking with your
flame.
The little part of you that isthe spark that sparks you into
life.
That is, that you are theguardian of, you're the guardian
and gatekeeper of this littlesoul.
That is your little spark.
(09:51):
And that's what's in the laninof the hermit and the hermit's
off spending time with thislittle spark.
And then also it's the fool.
'cause the fool is stepping offthe cliff into the unknown and
everything's the fool's favoritething, even when it's horrible
and wet and miserable and youstink and you can't eat.
And there's, life's shit.
And that happens in pilgrimages.
There are days where it's awfulwhere you are.
(10:13):
Mopping up a puddle from thebottom of your tent with dirty
pants just in this pouring rainand it's just is horrible and
every day.
Then there is also, in contrast,absolute miracles and humans
just doing the kindest, mostunbelievably generous, lovely
things for you.
The blow your mind and thennature gets involved and chucks
a double rainbow in it, or justthe amount of stuff that
(10:35):
happens.
It's mind blowing, but alsobecomes completely normal.
It's oh yeah, of course there'sof course another miracle's
happening.
It's just what happens.
And it was great to meet four ofthe six of us that are gonna be
walking met last night onlineand had a chat.
And I can already feel howmagical it is to be back in this
space again and to get to knoweach other so intimately that
(10:57):
we'll just drop our pants andwee in front of each other.
At the moment we're strangers,but.
The Pilgrim family is this tribeof people where we just, we in
front of each other and we pooand fight in front of each other
and we've, we can be like we arewith family and in more relaxed
even than you would be withfamily'cause you're in much more
feral situations.
(11:17):
And that we're far, we just, youbecome so intimate and so close
in a way that.
It's really special and we areall much more in touch with each
other than any other group ofthing that I've been involved
in.
We are still active on ourWhatsApp chat and we walked in
2021 and yet we're all stillsaying happy birthday to each
other and chatting and just likesending little inspirational
(11:39):
things, it's not all the time,but definitely fairly regularly.
And yeah, and it all led me tomoving to sarc.
So when I was on my first walkon my own, I was walking.
From Ken Leal.
It's the same walk that we'reabout to do from Ken Leal to the
Norfolk coast, walking from westto east.
And me and my ex-husband splitup in the first week of the
(12:00):
walk.
He split up with me and I justfelt homeless, like I didn't
have my keys with me.
And he was saying, don't comehome, finish the walk.
And I just.
Did I felt like I should.
I'd had a card reading at weAdelaide in Australia, in
Adelaide at the Adelaide Fringeover the winter, just before the
first lockdown happened.
And in that.
(12:20):
The priestess had said, the highpriestess had told me in the
cards they were about to do abig thing, a huge endeavor, and
whatever happens, finish it.
And I had that in the back of mymind.
And he was also, my ex-husbandwas also saying, I won't let you
in if you come back home.
Don't come back home.
And so I did keep walking and.
It meant that I healed.
I healed a lot quicker because Ihad nowhere to hide.
(12:43):
It was just me and my own innerworld for, seven.
It was like seven or eight weeksthat I was walking for, and I
just had to face how I wasfeeling.
I had to face the darkness andthe pain.
There wasn't the distractions ofgoing to the pub or the, I mean,
I went to a lot of pubs, but onmy own.
But there wasn't the distractionof work and socializing and TV
(13:03):
and stuff like that.
It was just me in my head.
And then.
Also the land definitely beganto work on me and with me, and I
feel like I have a connection tothe land and a relationship with
the land that is sentient and istwo way and full of love and
(13:24):
support for me.
I value it hugely and I reallymissed it last year'cause I
didn't walk last year and hatedit.
I'm glad that I did it.
I'm glad I had a year out sothat I know that I didn't, I
don't ever wanna do that again.
I mean, I can't, I'm not gonnanecessarily be able to walk
forever, but.
Going on these long walks isreally important to me and I
(13:46):
don't know how they make senseor, the last body of work was me
walking at St.
George's cross the length andbreadth of the land.
And that made sense to me.
'cause I was walking there andback again along the George's
Cross and now I'm setting offagain.
It's like, well, do I do thatagain?
Do I walk there and back again?
The length and breadth of theland again, four times I get, I
dunno, I'm just gonna keep.
(14:07):
Going with the flow, but that'swhat I'm doing this time and I'm
gonna walk the full length of itthis time.
'cause I didn't.
There were bits that I missed,like Luton and and I'm much
better at world camping andthere's like people with me so
I'm not on my own.
So it's safer and easier toWorld camp.
When I walked on my own, Istayed at campsites and in
Airbnbs and stuff, and thenjumped over Luton.
(14:27):
'cause it's a really big city.
But actually we've got a lot outof going to the cities like
Stoke on Trent, which you know,is a.
Rundown city in many ways is ourfavorite city.
Out of all of the fancy citieswe go through Winchester and
Stratford, Aven and thenManchester, which is a really,
big, vibrant, got a lot goingon, but stoke on Trent proper.
(14:48):
Awesome.
We always have an incredibletime there.
And yeah, to not judge a placeand to meet it,'cause that's
part of the line and it's partof the journey.
So I'm looking forward to fully.
Meeting Luton.
I'm looking forward to seeingthe caves in Royston because
we've never been able to seethem, first of all'cause of
COVID, second of all,'cause itwas out season.
(15:08):
But I've written to them now andI've got yeah, been in
communication with them.
So they're gonna open for anddoing our performance.
We are gonna be performingGeorge and the Dragon along the
line as we walk.
So Sark life, I've had that inmy head all week.
(15:29):
So life, I've had it in my headall week.
I've actually just rewritten thelyrics and I'm going to make a
music video for it and geteveryone to sing it.
And yeah, the having done thepilgrimages and this one, the
first one that I did on my ownand it leading me to move to
sarc, it's what?
Taught me about community andtrusting the unknown and
(15:52):
trusting the process and lettingthe universe lead.
And I'm, having moments of doubtwith that at the moment because
I'm settled in here now and I'vegot my life here and I do keep
having moments of like, and hereI am, I'm 46 and I clean toilets
at the mermaid and I'm on abarmaid's wage.
And that, again, it's a bit likewhen I found myself at the call
center at 35, this was not.
(16:13):
What I imagined I would be doingat 46, I imagined aged 40.
I was gonna be living in a galapartment in Barcelona and I'd
have a butler and the biggestglitterati parties you've ever
seen.
And that was how I imagined Iwas gonna spend my 40th.
I actually had a really.
Fricking call 40th.
That wasn't that dissimilar fromwhat I'd imagined it would be.
But it was a rave in STAMA Parkoutside of Brighton and it was
(16:37):
the, like a full blown greatGatsby, 1920s party with a
different sound system in everyroom and amazing decor and loads
of 1920s costumes.
And it was Brighton, so everyonedressed up really well and it
was exactly what I'd imagined itwas gonna be like, it just
wasn't in the gal apartment inBarcelona.
So I smashed that, which isgreat.
And I.
(16:57):
In so many ways, I'm successfulin so many ways.
Like it's ridiculous.
I, my friend messaged me theother day, she said, you are the
most successful and poorestperson I know.
And I was like, thanks.
I dunno how that works either.
But the.
I have to keep checking in withand remembering that it's about
trusting the process andtrusting the unknown.
(17:19):
So here I am.
I've arrived in sarc.
I've met this beautiful humanbeing who's the love of my life
and makes me so happy and lovesme in the purest way.
I've, I just didn't think it waspossible for this to occur, and
I'm privileged and honored, and.
Treasure what I have.
And I also just think, God, Ican't do this for 40 years.
(17:44):
Like being, working in a pub,being in the situation I'm in,
and I'm like well, I know itwon't, things will shift,
something's gonna give,something's gonna change.
I'm trying to learn to dothings.
I'm trying to develop skills andI.
Get better at doing things thatI can do from here.
For example, like TikTok.
I need to learn to do that.
But my videos always so NAF andI can't, I need to do some
(18:04):
training if anyone's got anyideas or tips about doing
online.
'cause it needs to be online.
'cause I, I'm not, able toreally get to a workshop or
anything.
Or a course needs to besomething online.
If anyone's got any on tips foronline real making TikTok,
social media content makingcourses, or anyone that might be
up for helping me.
I would be very interested tohear from you.
(18:26):
Because I need to up my game andI'm surrounded by beauty and
I've got this amazing space andI met a woman called Fiona in
the wild who's on TikTok, andshe came to SARC and she just
put some videos up of hercamping and they got loads of
views and have become huge, andthat all paid for her holiday
here.
And I'm like, this is what Ineed to do.
It makes my skin crawl.
(18:47):
It's not at all what I imaginedor wanted to do.
In my previous life, but beinghere, I'm so limited by my
choices.
I need to play the internet gamereally.
'cause that's what I do haveaccess to.
I have access to ParadiseBeauty, a mad imagination, and a
crazy life.
And the internet.
What I don't have access to isloads of drop opportunities or
(19:09):
like loads of funding pots orhuge numbers of people for
audiences.
And that's all the stuff that Iwould normally be creating and
working with.
So I need to work with what I'vegot and working with limitations
is brilliant for the creativeprocess and I feel like I'm
learning so much here and beingin the government, I'm in the
government.
It's absolutely incredible whatI'm learning and I love it, but
I need to up my game and I feellike just getting better at.
(19:33):
Reels on social media would belike key.
I also don't have loads of moneyavailable to spend on a course,
so I am looking for freebies orlike help and support that's
free if possible.
But if it was like not a crazyexpensive course, then I could
possibly do it.
But yeah, money is tight.
So yeah, I really want to makethat work.
And it's also trusting that.
(19:54):
Nothing's gonna stay the samelike World War three's possibly
already begun.
And you don't know what's gonnaremember to treasure the moments
that you have because I'm herenow going, oh, I'm cleaning the
toilets, blah, blah, whatever.
But I'm like.
At peace and safe, and I've gota roof over from my head and
Dizzle here, he hasn't beenconscripted into the army.
(20:17):
We are not like hiding frombombs being dropped on our
heads.
We're not staring into the abyssof a nuclear war.
We are slightly, but notobviously just yet.
And.
We've got electricity and we'vegot access to everything we want
and need 10 years time.
I could be looking back on thatand going, my God, I'd give
anything to be cleaning thosetoilets right now.
(20:38):
Don't ever take anything forgranted, because I'm lucky as
hell to be living in paradise.
I'm living in absolute paradisewith someone who loves and
adores me in a gorgeous cottage.
There is nothing to complainabout, that for me is what the
meaning of life has been is thenumber 42.
What is the question or thequest?
Quest eye on is to keep questingonto and into the inner world
(21:02):
and questing in the outer worldand going on adventures, but all
of them are for me to.
Challenge myself to not getcomfy and sit in a seat and just
let life happen at me.
But to create mad experiencesand get out there and do weird
and wacky things and put myselfin unusual situations that push
me and terrify me and exciteand.
(21:25):
Inspire and interest me, andthen also to trust the unknown
and trust the process that allwill be well.
So the universe has never led meto being wealthy, but I also
have a moral high ground in thegovernment that is very useful
because I'm the poorest personthere and I've always got that
perspective and authority interms of.
(21:48):
This is what's being done at us,and I always have that
perspective to add to the mix.
I'm the one that's thinkingabout access and inclusion.
And also Jimmy, who I'm gonna beinterviewing next week.
I can't wait for you to meetJimmy.
I'm really excited.
So my guest next week is myfirst interview with a SARC
local.
There's a I wanna just intervieweverybody.
I wanna speak to everyone andincluding all the people here on
(22:09):
sarc.
'cause everyone's got a story totell.
They're.
Interesting, beautiful people,but Jimmy is such a diamond and
we are going to create a radioshow that we're gonna, start
doing it in Sarks.
We're gonna do some SAR radioand I was doing the podcast for
Jimmy, for him to experiencewhat it's like to be interviewed
and just go through the processof making a podcast.
(22:30):
And he was brilliant.
I've got absolute fullconfidence in him smashing it,
doing a radio show, everyone'sgonna love it.
So I'm looking forward tohearing that and working with
him on creating that and just.
Generally so's so lively andfull of ideas at the moment.
It feels like a really exciting,inspiring place and the
possibility of creating a littleutopia here.
(22:50):
See, I didn't choose to be inthe government.
The universe asked me twice todo it.
When I say I trust the universe,this is an example of what that
means.
So someone approached me andasked me to join Chief Police.
I said, no way.
I have no.
Desire to do that.
I've never wanted to be inpolitics.
I'm very political and I'm verydriven about things, but like
(23:10):
I'd only just been living theretwo years, which is how long you
need to be there to be able tojoin the government.
But I was always like, I'mhaving a nice time.
I'm getting married next year.
Like I don't really wanna dochief plea.
And then.
Second person came up to me andwent, oh, the first person said
that you were up for doing ChiefPolice.
That's amazing.
It's so exciting.
We really need people like you.
And I said no.
(23:31):
I said that I wasn't doing it.
And she went, oh my God, pleasedo it.
We really need like left fieldthinkers.
We need people who've got a bitof life experience that from
other places.
And just someone who's more leftwing.
There's a lot of, the sort ofpeople that can do chief Police
because it's voluntary.
Tend to be wealthy, retired men,that tends to be what the people
(23:51):
that are able to do it.
And then there's a lot of localsthat have been doing it forever,
which is brilliant, and we needthem and we need that
continuity, but we need a littlebit of fresh, young blood and
yes, a bit more left, leftleaning views.
And please do it.
And I was like, okay.
Actually I haven't sought thisout, but the universe is.
(24:14):
Brought this to me twice and hasgiven me good reasons for it and
asked me to do it.
And that's what I mean bytrusting the universe.
I was like, yeah, all rightthen.
And then I've ended up being init.
And that means even when thingshave got difficult, which this
year they've got reallydifficult and have had some very
sticky one of the mostunpleasant, I've had loads of
unpleasant experiences doingthat, to be honest.
(24:34):
And the level of big girlpanting I've had to do is off
the charts.
But wow I've never even used theterm big girl pants until living
here.
And I've always avoided andhated having difficult
conversations.
And then it starts feeling likeit all clicks into place.
And this for me is what the 42comes back to, is what is the
meaning of life.
(24:55):
It's what you make it mean.
That's the key.
So I don't think as a white,privileged person, you can sit
there and say, oh, everythinghappens for a reason, which I
was brought up being told.
My mom always said that to me,and I totally love her for
saying that.
It's not, I don't, I'm notknocking her for saying that
she's a born again Christian,and she's a very beautiful,
(25:16):
positive person, and she's like,everything happens for a reason.
And it's a bit like how they, mymom and dad always talked about
unconditional love as well.
Now I think the thought ofunconditional love and the
thought of everything happeningfor a reason.
It's less powerful to me thanrealizing that my mom chooses
every day to love me the way sheloves me.
(25:39):
She loves me fiercely andpassionately, and she's there
for me, and she will do anythingshe can.
She will be generous and giving,and she'll, give things up
herself so that I can have them,like she's so incredibly giving
in the way that a mom is.
But just, I know that all momsaren't like that.
And I feel so lucky to have amom who is like that and she
(26:01):
chooses to do that.
And that to me is more importantand more powerful than
unconditional love, which isit's just a given.
And that's also how I feel aboutmeaning.
So it's not that everythinghappens for a reason.
But I believe that we can find areason for everything happening.
So for me, the IVF and the wholeIVF journey and being really
depressed and hating my life ledto me having an ego death where
(26:25):
the person who thought they weregonna be famous and be the big
entrepreneur had to step offthat cliffs unknown, where I was
like, I'm not gonna kill myself.
'cause I love my mom and I'm notgonna do that to my mom.
But I dunno what I'm gonna doanymore.
I dunno what I'm here for.
Universe, you are in charge now.
And that was that moment and Istepped off the cliff like the
fall into the unknown and Isaid, you are now in charge
universe.
(26:45):
And I feel like I'm having to dothat a little bit again now in
that so much has happened in therecent times.
I.
Moving here.
Like the pilgrimage led me hereand it led me to meeting Dizzle.
And Dizzle had a tattoo on hisfinger of the room.
That was one of the Rees that mypilgrimage was.
I pulled two Rees for thepilgrimage.
One at one end.
(27:05):
I placed one re at one end andplaced the other at the other
end of the country.
I made a spirit line betweenthese two rees and one of those
Rees was tattooed on Drizzle'sfinger.
So when I met him, it was like,and the other room was my room.
So it was like me and him makethat pilgrimage.
It's like that pilgrimagecreated me and him.
And so that's a.
Sign, if ever there was one.
If you're gonna look for signs,and I don't believe in this, I
(27:27):
always say this, I always giveit the proviso, but like the
universe is just chaos.
It is just chaos.
So you might as well follow somesigns that mean something to
you, just as a way of having amenu, having some kind of
guidelines.
Follow.
Follow the signs.
Be conscious and if anything, itmakes you be more present and
makes you observe things, but italso gives you a little chuckle
(27:49):
and a bit of gameplay.
And I, I will happily accept andwould also let go of attachment
to it at any moment.
I'm like that with all beliefs.
Is that.
I would happily I'm not attachedto them.
And when I find things that I amreally attached to, I will try
and work at letting go of themand seeing how I can let that
go.
Just continuously keep lettinggo of attachments.
(28:11):
But one of the attachments Ihave, I guess one of the
meanings I have is that we canfind meaning.
And in fact, actually I did letgo of this slightly the other
day because I was saying, know,it's what we make it mean and
that we have that power to findmeaning within it.
And then I met this young ladwho's just finished doing
philosophy at a level.
And he said what about if youare in a concentration camp or
(28:33):
you've, been tortured and you'recompletely broken down and
you're now like, almost like inan animal state?
How do you make that makemeaning?
And I was like, actually itworks up until the point where
hope is lost.
So while there's still hope.
Then you can turn your shit intogold.
And that's what alchemy isturning lead into gold.
(28:54):
And that's what the full Moon isthat we literally had last night
is the Sagittarius full moon.
So the Sagittarius full Moon isbeing able to alchemize your
lead into gold.
And what that means to me istaking the shit bits of your
story, the bits that are.
Dark and crunchy and hard, andthat really pushed you and you
had to put your big girl pantson and to find the gold within
it to find the meaning and themedicine from it.
(29:16):
And I'm, in the middle of aprocess.
At the moment, I'm in a, I'm inthe thick of a chapter.
I'm not at the end of a chapterpage turn, you know, that's in
two, three years time, two and ahalf years time, there'll be
another page turn of my sevenyear chapters and.
Yeah, I'm writing the thick ofthe crunch at the moment.
(29:36):
I suppose I'm in that dramapoint of the story has to get
bad and worse, and you're like,oh my God, it's not gonna, and
then, and then it all resolvesand the hero figures out what
they're doing.
And also that also might nothappen.
It's just, whatever gets youthrough the night, hurling
through space on a lump of rock,just whatever gets you through
the night.
So I'm.
I'm open to and exploring andlooking at what meaning there is
(29:58):
in all of this.
And what my quest eye on is thatI'm on the question, what is the
question to life, the universeand everything?
What is the quest that you areon?
And the quest that I'm on is tomake this world a more
passionate, compassionate, andextraordinary place.
And I know that that's apossibility I created for
myself, my life.
Many years ago now.
(30:19):
And that was from being in acult called Landmark Education.
I'm giving you a little namecheck, because that was from
you.
They're not really a cult, butthey're very pyramid Schemey
financially, but I got a lotfrom them.
I actually wouldn't dissuadepeople from doing their courses.
I got a hell of a lot out ofthem.
They're just very.
Good at enrolling you onto moreof them, is the way I would put
(30:41):
it.
But they're brilliant andthey're called the McDonald's of
Enlightenment and lots of thetools that I learned from, that
I still use, and one of them wasinventing myself as a
possibility and I inventedmyself as a possibility of a
passionate, compassionate, andextraordinary life.
And then that evolved into.
That being the world, that I'mthe possibility of a passionate,
(31:01):
compassionate, an extraordinaryworld, and I use that all the
time.
And that's what my quest ion is.
And so that's what I'm doing.
That's what I'm here for andthat's what I'm doing.
And yeah, all in the name of 42.
So I'm gonna pull aro and seewhat the universe wants me to
talk about.
(31:34):
If you enjoy this podcast,please consider supporting me on
Patreon, which ispatreon.com/jolie Rose.
I would love this to become myfull-time job.
That is the absolute dream.
And if I keep creating contentthat you like and putting
podcasts out there and sharingthe incredible people I know and
telling you all the storiesabout the weird and wonderful
(31:55):
world that I am living in andcreating, then.
And hopefully people will hearabout it.
People enjoy it, and more andmore people will support through
Patreon.
It is happening.
It's growing.
It's lovely.
It's a beautiful community thatsupports me and I love everybody
who's involved in listening andgiving me feedback and sharing.
I'd love more.
Anyone wants to let me know,like things they want me to
(32:16):
explore or people they thinkthat I should interview or
anyone, or if you wanna beinterviewed yourself, if you are
like, when's she gonna ask me?
Just get in touch.
I'm well up for it.
I'm excited to intervieweveryone.
I want to peer into everybody'sbeautiful world.
You don't have to be doingsomething special or fantastic.
It's, this is about.
How everyone's a paralleluniverse and we're all guardians
(32:37):
and gatekeepers of an innerworld that only exists while
you're alive.
I'm interested in every singleone of those universes and I
wanna see into all of them.
So I'm game.
So if you're up for beinginterviewed, let me know.
And if there's anyone you thinkwould be great, put them in
touch with me.
And if there's any themes ortopics you'd like me to explore
further, or anything that I'vediscussed that you're like, or
could you go into that in a bitmore detail, then reach out to
(32:58):
me on social media or nonsensein the chaos@gmail.com.
So if you are able to support meon Patreon, that's just a really
nice way to say thank you.
If you can't afford to do amonthly subscription, then just
share tell people about thepodcasts and just get the word
out there.
And if you wanna see me livedoing anything in real life, I'm
gonna be at Shangri Laperforming in the evenings.
(33:19):
On all of the nights, Friday,Saturday, Sunday in there's a
really cool new thing happeningat Shangrila.
I'm not gonna give it away.
You're gonna have to come alongand see.
So if you happen to be atGlastonbury Festival, there'll
be some installations andperformances happening in the
evenings between 11:00 PM on twoin the mornings normally when
we're there.
Come along and have a look andthen.
(33:41):
I'm gonna be at BoomTown aswell, opening BoomTown.
So if you come to the originstage, I'll be at the beginning
of the opening ceremonyblessing, the blessing the
festival.
And then we will have our ownvenue called the La Luna Coven
Venue, which is a secret hiddenvenue, but we are in the old
town, so you'll have to findwhere we are and see if you're
able to get in.
There's normally a bit of aqueue, but it's very exclusive.
(34:03):
But it's really good fun and youcan come and meet me and get the
experience of the Luna Coven inreal life.
And then, yeah, my book's comingout in towards the end of the
year, and I'll be.
Creating the pre-sales andpre-orders and getting that kind
of going so that it gets pushed.
'cause the more pre-orders youget the further it pushes your
book these days is all about thepre-orders apparently.
(34:25):
So I'll be doing the walkingpilgrimage for two months from
September to October across theUK from.
Cornwall to the North Coast, andif you live anywhere along the
Michael line and know that routeand want us to come and perform
for you, or if you're up forfeeding us and looking after us,
then get in touch again andwe'll come and visit you.
I'll obviously be doing mypodcast whilst walking, so
(34:46):
you'll have a whole journey oftwo months.
My God, I dunno how I'm gonnamanage to do that, or we'll try
it.
I might have to not.
I'll see.
We'll see how well that goes.
I might have to have a break fora little while, but yeah, we'll
be, there'll definitely be lotsof, live recordings from the
walk and the people that wemeet.
So I look forward to sharing allof that with you as well.
(35:06):
But definitely get in touch ifyou'd like us to come and visit
and yeah, buy the book, orderthe book.
I'll be getting that up and I'llbe able to share links with that
scene.
So very much looking forward tothat and now on with the show.
Thank you very much.
(35:31):
So the universe, what do youwant us to talk about today?
Abundance.
That's apt, isn't it?
Yes.
Abundance.
Gratitude.
Ah, okay, cool.
I just wanna share abundance.
I once had this in a, I wasdoing some project with Buffy,
(35:53):
who some people might know who'sa musician.
I might try and interview her.
Actually.
She'd be a good person tointerview.
Cassia is her real name.
She's been making work in thesame world as me for since two
th 2002 or 2003 I've known herfor.
And Poppy, poppy Kay's.
Jonathan Kay's daughter was goodfriends with Buffy and they used
to make music together and.
(36:15):
We were doing some project, oh,we were trying to build an
amphitheater.
Oh yeah.
So that, yes.
Hang on, I'm gonna make a noteof this.
'cause community, yeah, I'm justthinking about the Chaos
Crusade.
Okay, I've got two, two for you.
Yeah, we were trying to build a,an amphitheater out in Brighton
and it was called the Apple PieProject because it was just how
(36:37):
delicious and relishing a thingan apple pie is.
And that was what the feel ofthe project was.
And we found a site and wetalked and it, the ball got
rolling quite a lot, and in theend, an amphitheater did get
built in Brighton by acompletely separate group of
people, but it felt like.
Although it was nothing reallyto do with us at all that it got
(36:57):
built, there was definitelysomething put out there.
People did tell them that peoplehad been interested in it, so
they knew that something hadhappened before.
And one of the things wasabundance.
And I got these buns and I woulddo a dance with the buns, and
that was abundance and.
I've waven that into my harvestfestival.
(37:17):
John Barley corn celebrationsfor mice and celebrating the
harvest is doing abundance.
And so that's what mainly comesup for me when I see something
that's abundance.
So this ruin is feel, and itlooks like an F and it means
cattle and it's about theabundance of the beef and the,
all of the meat and produceyou're gonna get from this
cattle and how much moneythey're gonna make you.
(37:39):
And yeah, for me.
It is become a real interestingthing living here on sarc.
It's I'm so living in a bizarrereality because I am a
successful artist to somepeople.
There is a world where I'm knownas a successful artist and I
have had quite a bit of money atcertain points and have been,
(38:01):
I've, I was able to travel theworld.
I was able to buy designerclothes.
I was able to, do whatever Iwanted.
Sit in cafes all day and workand have all my time to myself.
My time was pretty much my wholelife other than a year and a
half in a call center and aboutsix months working in an office
when I was 18 to get the moneyto move to Australia.
(38:23):
Other than moving to SAR andworking in the mermaid, which
I've done now for five years,which is mad.
I've never had my timecontrolled by anyone else.
My, if I get up, I can get upwhenever I want.
I, if I'm having a, my period, Ican take a day off and I'm
bleeding.
I, my time has been completelyavailable for me to spend it
however I want.
And now I don't have that.
(38:44):
I have shifts and I have to beat work for those shifts, and I
can just about cope with itbecause I.
Working in a pub.
So it's being paid to socializein a way.
So that feels palatable to me asa Savannah animal.
I don't think I've said thisbefore on the podcast, but I've
been talking about it a lotrecently.
So it feels like I have, but Idon't think it's been recorded.
(39:05):
Me saying this, that I teachproducing at Chichester
University was one of the thingsthat I did when I was still
living in the uk a module aboutproducing.
And one of the things that Iwould talk about is how.
I taught it at E 15 as well.
I forgot about that.
So yeah, taught it at E 15 andat church university, and it was
talking about.
(39:25):
How we have different types ofanimals in the world.
You have Savannah animals andzoo animals and zoo animals are
really comfortable and happy tohave their food brought for them
and their medicine given tothem.
And they know what, they knowtheir routine and they know
their lives.
And the thought of just suddenlybeing dumped in the wild without
any of that.
Would, they'd probably die.
(39:46):
They wouldn't be able to cope.
And then you have Savannahanimals who are wild animals
that you capture.
And if you put them in a zoo,that will kill them.
Or they'll go mad becausethey'll basically feel like
they're in prison and you areeither one of the zoo animals or
you are a Savannah animal.
And I am 100% as a pan animal.
I'm 46 and I've spent 26 years.
(40:09):
Wow.
I suppose 20 years.
Because I've lived here for fivenow and I've had to give away
some of my time, which to mejust feels like some of my life
and I know people who work in anoffice and have done this all
their lives, probably likeboohoo, but also.
I don't have any money orsecurity or safety because of
that.
So yeah, I have that amazingfreedom and it's brilliant.
(40:30):
But I've not got any security.
I don't have a pension.
I don't have enough of a wage, Idon't have, I just, I have no
security.
There's no security whatsoever.
I don't own any property.
I don't have anything.
And.
That's great when a pandemichappens and everyone's losing
their shit.
Also with all the stuff that'sgoing on in the world at the
moment where the economy couldfall down any second, I've got
(40:53):
nothing to lose.
And that was pretty useful inthe pandemic where I was able to
just float my way over to sarcand I didn't have any children
tying me down or any otherthings holding me back and was
able to just move over here andfind myself a beautiful husband
and yeah, live the life that I'mliving.
Abundance for me is somethingI've come to recently is
realizing that I benefit loadsfrom being.
(41:19):
Poor in that, like I was sayingearlier in chief police from
having the kind of moral highground.
And that's such an intrinsicpart of my personality.
I do look at Kathy Burke and Ithink she's a working class hero
who's got money and she uses hermoney to do good things.
And that's what I would like.
That's what if I suddenly hadloads of money, what I would do
(41:39):
is set up trusts and funds and,grants and stuff for artists I'd
leave it all to a strugglingartist.
When I die, I 100%.
Or if I went to an art event andI met someone, I'd like just
sneakily.
Buy their picture for loads ofmoney or just things that helps
artists on their journey wouldbe so important for me in
(42:01):
helping young people get off theground with learning a skill.
If someone's like really keen tolearn the piano, I'd get them a
piano, or just things like that,like ways to help people tune
into their creativity and bereally generous with it and
create.
Really cool public events andcommunity events and just do fun
and funky stuff with it.
That's what I would like to do.
(42:21):
And yeah, I see you Kathy Burkepretty much is definitely my
inspiration and guiding light inall of that.
So yeah, that's what abundanceto me means being grateful for
what you've got and realizinghow lucky you are with
everything you have.
(42:43):
Which brings us on nicely to theChaos Crusade.
Now, I might have alreadysuggested the easy part for this
before, and if I have, thenmaybe you should try the harder
part.
If you've listened to thatpodcast, I'm not sure if I have.
I think I mentioned it alongsidemorning pages, but anyway the
easy part of the suggestion iswriting a gratitude list and
(43:06):
doing this every day, and I didsuggest doing it as part of the
morning pages.
I remember now as I've said itout loud, so you might have done
this already, but I reallyrecommend writing gratitude list
lists.
That's a brilliant way offeeling how abundant you are, of
being aware of how.
Lucky you are.
So writing down all the thingsyou're grateful for, and you'll
(43:26):
start with bigger things likeyour family or your job or
things like that.
But then it's the little thingsas well, like a really good
juicy, fresh strawberry.
Picked yourself from the gardenor watching a snail slither
along and its little funny eyesdoing its little thing or
watching a sunset, which is whatI just went and did for my
friends.
So if you're watching the video,you'll see that my outfit's
(43:46):
changed.
So yeah, we've got a really nicehabit here in Sark of watching a
sunset.
And I do it regularly and it'ssomething that I feel.
I just never did.
Really, it was only if it washappening by coincidence that I
would ever watch sunsets in theuk.
But here it's one of our thingsthat we go do.
We're just talking about thesolstice.
(44:07):
We're gonna go watch the sunsetand swim in the sea with the sun
setting for the solstice, andthen stay up all night and then
go swim on the other side of theisland, which is only a mile
away, and go swim for thesunrise.
And yeah, that's gonna be whatwe're doing next Saturday, which
I'm looking forward to.
I did it last year and I swamwith the river of golden light,
which meant to be the road tofairy land.
(44:27):
And now I'll always associatewith Sophia, although this last
solstice, it wasn't associatedwith Sophia and I spread my legs
and I was skinny dipping, and Ispread my legs and impregnated
myself with the golden beam oflight from the sun and film
myself up with the power of rahand all this creative juiciness.
And then, yeah, did it forsunrise and for sunset.
(44:50):
So that was pretty fun.
And yeah, been a creative year.
I've written a book and donelots of amazing things.
So that was fun.
opening BoomTown and walking thepilgrimage, writing my book,
and.
Doing all these mad things withchief police, which felt, feels
very creative in its way aswell.
Creating a future for the islandand creating an education system
(45:12):
and creating a.
Island plan and yeah, it's mad.
All the things that, that I dohere.
Wonderful.
So this brings it onto thesecond chaos Crusade suggestion,
and that is doing a communityproject.
So this again was a landmarkproject thing that I did.
It was on one of the courseswhere it got you to connect with
your community and it's the.
(45:35):
To create, just to createsomething with community.
So write down the list ofcommunities that you are
connected to, and then pick oneand think of a project that you
could enroll them in to get themto join in with something.
So it could be throwing a streetparty or starting a community
garden where you grow theproduce together and then you
eat meals together and maybeonce a month you have a meal
that you will eat.
(45:56):
Food that you've grown togetheror a book club.
A what if book club where youstart a book club where you talk
about what if the food supplychain stopped because of war or
another boat got stuck in SueCanal and where the end of the
chain when it comes to foodsales the food line.
We are right at the end on sarc.
(46:16):
So we have to actually reallythink about this and that's part
of what we're.
Developing.
The island plan that I'm pushingfor is thinking about
resilience.
So think of a community projectthat you could work on,
something that you could do thatwould be nice with one of the
communities that you areconnected to, and enroll them.
Enroll people in doing it withyou.
And if you do something, let meknow.
I'd love to know.
Go for it.
Why not just do a thing andwhatever, it's knitting a stitch
(46:40):
and bitch club.
Or put on a jumble sale for acharity or something like that.
But do something that involvesother people.
It's literally.
All I do now, my whole life isthat we're doing the big picnic
on SOC this Saturday and it's aninvitation for people to come
along with hampers and have apicnic.
And then there's a few caterers,different people like
restaurants and event catererswho are picked together,
(47:02):
hampers, and are gonna be atcertain spots.
There's gonna be music atcertain spots, so it's just an
invitation for people to comeover and have a picnic.
So I'll be going around doingthat and then, yeah, just.
Forever involved in communitythings.
There's a jumble sale thisSaturday as well, so we'll be
going and supporting that bygoing and buying some stuff.
And yes, so always thingshappening.
(47:23):
So go and get involved.
Get involved in your community.
It's where resilience lies, asI've said before.
And it's also where you reallyconnect with abundance and maybe
part of your community thing atsome point can do abundance
yourselves.
And remember that it all comesfrom this lovely room feel thero
of abundance.
So that's it for me today.
Thank you ever so much forlistening and supporting and.
(47:47):
I look forward to speaking toyou next week.
I've got such a cool interviewwith my friend Jimmy, who's a
local here, and I'm lookingforward to you meeting him.
He's such a beautiful humanbeing, so thank you so much, and
I shall see the anon.
The.
(00:55):
Welcome to The Nonsense in theChaos.
I'm your host, Jolie Rose.
This is number 42 in theNonsense in the Chaos series of
podcasts, and 42 is of coursethe meaning of life for.
You Douglas Adams fans outthere.
If you're not a Douglas Adamsfan, you need to get on that and
(01:16):
you need to read the hitchhikersky to the galaxy.
So the story goes that there's acomputer created called Deep
Thought he's created an order toanswer the big question to life,
the universe and everything.
And these, beings, these alienscreate this super computer and
they're like we set you thistask.
And he goes, oh, okay.
(01:37):
It's gonna take me a while tothink about it.
And they're like, oh, how long?
And he says, four and a halfbillion years.
And they're like, what?
Okay.
And he goes, but just thinkabout how great it'll be for you
to argue in the press and tophilosophize and what the answer
will be.
You guys are gonna be on thegravy train for all this time
and, be, it'd be beneficial toall of us.
(01:58):
And they're like, wow, youreally are clever.
And then they come billions ofyears later to come back to him
and ask him what the answer isand he goes I don't think you're
gonna like it.
And they say, no, go on, tell uswhat's the answer, the ultimate
answer to life, the universe andeverything.
And he says, 42.
And they're like, what?
(02:20):
And he says, it's, the problemis I don't think you understand
what the question?
is.
And I won't give any more away,any more spoilers, but he builds
a computer that is able toanswer what the.
Understand what the question isWhat is the question?
And I wrote a book that isn'tcompletely finished.
I need to do some more work onit, but it's mainly there.
(02:44):
So a book is in existence calledThe Meaning of Life that I wrote
when I was 42, and I did aSaturn return series where I
wrote a book when I was 28 whenI was 28.
Saturn returns to your birthchart every, I think it's 29
years.
So I wrote this book from 28 to29, and then certain signs who
(03:04):
are ruled by Saturn are alsoaffected by the seven year
chapters.
So the four, lots of seven that.
Make up that 28 year turnaround.
And I'm Capricorn so I'm ruledby Saturn and I do find that my
life has very clear seven yearchapters.
So I wrote my first book, theGirl Who Ruled the World when I
(03:25):
was 28 years old, and that waspublished by King's England
Press.
You can buy it on Amazon if youGoogle Jolie Booth the Girl Who
Ruled the World.
There's a book that I wrote whenI was 28 and I describe it as,
train spotting meets 50 shadesof gray.
It's very rude and verydeported, and it captured an
amazing year.
Like I just started writing andit's quite, it suits the short
(03:48):
attention span psyche of theworld we now live in at the
time.
That was just me writing likethat.
'cause I'm probably a DHD, so Iwas already, I was ahead of the
curve.
'Cause I only, I wrote the book,I think it's 2006 to 2007, and I
only joined Facebook in 2007.
I.
(04:08):
And yeah, so the whole, likewriting how you're feeling in
your, in your profile you putlike, how you feeling today?
It used to be that you'd putthese little comments and you'd
write tweets and we got used towriting in short little Tweety
lengths, but at the time thatwas not how we spoke.
And yet this book was written inthat language, in its stream of
consciousness.
(04:29):
And it's about a charactercalled Esmeralda.
And for legal reasons.
It's definitely fiction, but um,there's a lot of it that isn't
fiction and.
I follow my life over the courseof a year just writing snippets
of things down.
So there's things that I havemagpie from other people and
things that I've just seen andheard around the place, and bits
(04:50):
that are completely made up.
So it's called auto fiction.
So it's autobiographical, butit's fiction and that's what all
my books are i'm just finishingmy fourth novel now which is
called Walking With Autumn, andthat's about my first
pilgrimage.
And in this one I am actuallyusing my real name and that's
gonna get published this year.
I found a publisher.
Just need to, we haven't signedany contracts or anything yet,
(05:11):
so we're not gonna say anythingabout that yet, but that should
be out towards the end of theyear and.
So that's a separate, I'm gonnanow write a book for each of the
pilgrimages that I've done, andthat's like a separate body of
work.
The Girl Rules the World is partof a series called Saturn
Returns.
And so I'm writing a book everyseven years, dipping back into
(05:32):
the character of Esmeralda andwhat's going on in her life,
which is basically my life.
But like I say.
Big chunks of it aren't true.
And some things are completefantasy.
There's like things in it thatcan't be real.
So I wrote The Girl Rule TheWorld at 28, then A 35 is Never
Worn and Never Worn.
Comes from Hemingway having abet that he could write a story
(05:54):
that would hit you emotionallywith just six words, and it was
for sale.
Baby's shoes never worn.
Really sad.
And it was about going throughIVF and that whole journey, it
captured the year of thathappening.
So at 28, I basically wasbecoming an adult and kind of
realizing that the world wasn't.
(06:15):
Waiting with a big red carpetand fanfare for me.
And it was a sort of a bit of ashock'cause I'd done drama
school and I'd really believedthat I was gonna be somebody and
I really believed I was gonna besuccessful and famous and went
to drama school, still feelingall of that.
But I went quite late.
I was like 26 I think when I.
(06:35):
Joined and then when I came out,the other end was screwed out.
The other end, I was suddenly 29and it was like, oh shit, I'm
nearly 30.
It hasn't happened and it isn'thappening now, so it's not
happening.
And yes, of course I could stillbecome a famous actress later on
and da da da, da, but it wasjust.
It wasn't what I thought wasgonna happen, which was to be
(06:56):
the ue, the sexy, young actress.
You know that wasn't gonnahappen if I did become famous.
Now it would be as an olderactress, and that wasn't the
dream or the vision and.
Then found myself at 35 workingin a call center and doing IVF,
and I was like this reallywasn't what I planned at all,
(07:17):
and felt like a total failure,and that was really dark and
that was a dark place to be in.
And then 42 was me and myex-husband splitting up and me
walking across the country on myfirst pilgrimage and ending up
in SARC and meeting Dizzle,who's my husband now.
And that was, yeah, that was abig chapter change as well.
So it does feel like every sevenyears of my life does a huge
(07:39):
chapter change.
That was 42.
I'm already 46 now, so I've gotthree more years and I'll be
writing another book and we'llsee what comes up.
Then I'll be turning 50.
I can't believe I'm getting thatold now.
It's mad.
It's mad.
I feel younger now than.
When I turned 30, it was areally big deal for me because
my dream or what I thought I wasgonna be was disappearing and I
(08:02):
was too old to be it.
And all my mates were like, weare not old.
We're old.
Thirty's not old.
We're not old, blah, blah.
And I was like, yeah, but it'sit.
I'm too old to be the thing thatI thought I was gonna be.
So for me it's old.
And then since then they allstruggled turning 40, whereas I
was like, ah, I'm used to thisshit now.
Like I've been old for ages,like I don't care.
And actually now I feel youngerthan ever.
(08:24):
And yeah, although there isobviously an age gap between me
and dle, it's not noticeable.
So.
Yeah it's been cool writingthese books every seven years,
and I've always loved DouglasAdams and the number 42 and the
meaning of life and what themeaning of life has felt like
for me and has led me to move toSARC was trusting the unknown,
(08:46):
which is the whole point of thispodcast.
The thing I love aboutpilgrimage and I, I just um, had
a really cool meeting with.
A whole new group of people thatI'm gonna be walking a new
pilgrim.
Well, It's a route that I'vedone before, but it's a new
group of people and it's a freshbody of work.
Walking from Cornwall canal andnear land's end 500 miles to the
(09:08):
Norfolk Coast and it'll take twomonths.
And walking this September andOctober, I need to start
training'cause I'm really unfit.
So I need to get into shape andget fit for it.
And.
Part of the reason why I'm sounfit is'cause I didn't walk
last year, and that was thefirst year I've had off since
starting doing this in 2020.
And what it taught me wasthere's two, two archetypes from
(09:31):
the tarot that I think arerelevant to.
The pilgrim and that is thehermit card.
'cause it's about you doing yourinner work and walking with your
flame.
The little part of you that isthe spark that sparks you into
life.
That is, that you are theguardian of, you're the guardian
and gatekeeper of this littlesoul.
That is your little spark.
(09:51):
And that's what's in the laninof the hermit and the hermit's
off spending time with thislittle spark.
And then also it's the fool.
'cause the fool is stepping offthe cliff into the unknown and
everything's the fool's favoritething, even when it's horrible
and wet and miserable and youstink and you can't eat.
And there's, life's shit.
And that happens in pilgrimages.
There are days where it's awfulwhere you are.
(10:13):
Mopping up a puddle from thebottom of your tent with dirty
pants just in this pouring rainand it's just is horrible and
every day.
Then there is also, in contrast,absolute miracles and humans
just doing the kindest, mostunbelievably generous, lovely
things for you.
The blow your mind and thennature gets involved and chucks
a double rainbow in it, or justthe amount of stuff that
(10:35):
happens.
It's mind blowing, but alsobecomes completely normal.
It's oh yeah, of course there'sof course another miracle's
happening.
It's just what happens.
And it was great to meet four ofthe six of us that are gonna be
walking met last night onlineand had a chat.
And I can already feel howmagical it is to be back in this
space again and to get to knoweach other so intimately that
(10:57):
we'll just drop our pants andwee in front of each other.
At the moment we're strangers,but.
The Pilgrim family is this tribeof people where we just, we in
front of each other and we pooand fight in front of each other
and we've, we can be like we arewith family and in more relaxed
even than you would be withfamily'cause you're in much more
feral situations.
(11:17):
And that we're far, we just, youbecome so intimate and so close
in a way that.
It's really special and we areall much more in touch with each
other than any other group ofthing that I've been involved
in.
We are still active on ourWhatsApp chat and we walked in
2021 and yet we're all stillsaying happy birthday to each
other and chatting and just likesending little inspirational
(11:39):
things, it's not all the time,but definitely fairly regularly.
And yeah, and it all led me tomoving to sarc.
So when I was on my first walkon my own, I was walking.
From Ken Leal.
It's the same walk that we'reabout to do from Ken Leal to the
Norfolk coast, walking from westto east.
And me and my ex-husband splitup in the first week of the
(12:00):
walk.
He split up with me and I justfelt homeless, like I didn't
have my keys with me.
And he was saying, don't comehome, finish the walk.
And I just.
Did I felt like I should.
I'd had a card reading at weAdelaide in Australia, in
Adelaide at the Adelaide Fringeover the winter, just before the
first lockdown happened.
And in that.
(12:20):
The priestess had said, the highpriestess had told me in the
cards they were about to do abig thing, a huge endeavor, and
whatever happens, finish it.
And I had that in the back of mymind.
And he was also, my ex-husbandwas also saying, I won't let you
in if you come back home.
Don't come back home.
And so I did keep walking and.
It meant that I healed.
I healed a lot quicker because Ihad nowhere to hide.
(12:43):
It was just me and my own innerworld for, seven.
It was like seven or eight weeksthat I was walking for, and I
just had to face how I wasfeeling.
I had to face the darkness andthe pain.
There wasn't the distractions ofgoing to the pub or the, I mean,
I went to a lot of pubs, but onmy own.
But there wasn't the distractionof work and socializing and TV
(13:03):
and stuff like that.
It was just me in my head.
And then.
Also the land definitely beganto work on me and with me, and I
feel like I have a connection tothe land and a relationship with
the land that is sentient and istwo way and full of love and
(13:24):
support for me.
I value it hugely and I reallymissed it last year'cause I
didn't walk last year and hatedit.
I'm glad that I did it.
I'm glad I had a year out sothat I know that I didn't, I
don't ever wanna do that again.
I mean, I can't, I'm not gonnanecessarily be able to walk
forever, but.
Going on these long walks isreally important to me and I
(13:46):
don't know how they make senseor, the last body of work was me
walking at St.
George's cross the length andbreadth of the land.
And that made sense to me.
'cause I was walking there andback again along the George's
Cross and now I'm setting offagain.
It's like, well, do I do thatagain?
Do I walk there and back again?
The length and breadth of theland again, four times I get, I
dunno, I'm just gonna keep.
(14:07):
Going with the flow, but that'swhat I'm doing this time and I'm
gonna walk the full length of itthis time.
'cause I didn't.
There were bits that I missed,like Luton and and I'm much
better at world camping andthere's like people with me so
I'm not on my own.
So it's safer and easier toWorld camp.
When I walked on my own, Istayed at campsites and in
Airbnbs and stuff, and thenjumped over Luton.
(14:27):
'cause it's a really big city.
But actually we've got a lot outof going to the cities like
Stoke on Trent, which you know,is a.
Rundown city in many ways is ourfavorite city.
Out of all of the fancy citieswe go through Winchester and
Stratford, Aven and thenManchester, which is a really,
big, vibrant, got a lot goingon, but stoke on Trent proper.
(14:48):
Awesome.
We always have an incredibletime there.
And yeah, to not judge a placeand to meet it,'cause that's
part of the line and it's partof the journey.
So I'm looking forward to fully.
Meeting Luton.
I'm looking forward to seeingthe caves in Royston because
we've never been able to seethem, first of all'cause of
COVID, second of all,'cause itwas out season.
(15:08):
But I've written to them now andI've got yeah, been in
communication with them.
So they're gonna open for anddoing our performance.
We are gonna be performingGeorge and the Dragon along the
line as we walk.
So Sark life, I've had that inmy head all week.
(15:29):
So life, I've had it in my headall week.
I've actually just rewritten thelyrics and I'm going to make a
music video for it and geteveryone to sing it.
And yeah, the having done thepilgrimages and this one, the
first one that I did on my ownand it leading me to move to
sarc, it's what?
Taught me about community andtrusting the unknown and
(15:52):
trusting the process and lettingthe universe lead.
And I'm, having moments of doubtwith that at the moment because
I'm settled in here now and I'vegot my life here and I do keep
having moments of like, and hereI am, I'm 46 and I clean toilets
at the mermaid and I'm on abarmaid's wage.
And that, again, it's a bit likewhen I found myself at the call
center at 35, this was not.
(16:13):
What I imagined I would be doingat 46, I imagined aged 40.
I was gonna be living in a galapartment in Barcelona and I'd
have a butler and the biggestglitterati parties you've ever
seen.
And that was how I imagined Iwas gonna spend my 40th.
I actually had a really.
Fricking call 40th.
That wasn't that dissimilar fromwhat I'd imagined it would be.
But it was a rave in STAMA Parkoutside of Brighton and it was
(16:37):
the, like a full blown greatGatsby, 1920s party with a
different sound system in everyroom and amazing decor and loads
of 1920s costumes.
And it was Brighton, so everyonedressed up really well and it
was exactly what I'd imagined itwas gonna be like, it just
wasn't in the gal apartment inBarcelona.
So I smashed that, which isgreat.
And I.
(16:57):
In so many ways, I'm successfulin so many ways.
Like it's ridiculous.
I, my friend messaged me theother day, she said, you are the
most successful and poorestperson I know.
And I was like, thanks.
I dunno how that works either.
But the.
I have to keep checking in withand remembering that it's about
trusting the process andtrusting the unknown.
(17:19):
So here I am.
I've arrived in sarc.
I've met this beautiful humanbeing who's the love of my life
and makes me so happy and lovesme in the purest way.
I've, I just didn't think it waspossible for this to occur, and
I'm privileged and honored, and.
Treasure what I have.
And I also just think, God, Ican't do this for 40 years.
(17:44):
Like being, working in a pub,being in the situation I'm in,
and I'm like well, I know itwon't, things will shift,
something's gonna give,something's gonna change.
I'm trying to learn to dothings.
I'm trying to develop skills andI.
Get better at doing things thatI can do from here.
For example, like TikTok.
I need to learn to do that.
But my videos always so NAF andI can't, I need to do some
(18:04):
training if anyone's got anyideas or tips about doing
online.
'cause it needs to be online.
'cause I, I'm not, able toreally get to a workshop or
anything.
Or a course needs to besomething online.
If anyone's got any on tips foronline real making TikTok,
social media content makingcourses, or anyone that might be
up for helping me.
I would be very interested tohear from you.
(18:26):
Because I need to up my game andI'm surrounded by beauty and
I've got this amazing space andI met a woman called Fiona in
the wild who's on TikTok, andshe came to SARC and she just
put some videos up of hercamping and they got loads of
views and have become huge, andthat all paid for her holiday
here.
And I'm like, this is what Ineed to do.
It makes my skin crawl.
(18:47):
It's not at all what I imaginedor wanted to do.
In my previous life, but beinghere, I'm so limited by my
choices.
I need to play the internet gamereally.
'cause that's what I do haveaccess to.
I have access to ParadiseBeauty, a mad imagination, and a
crazy life.
And the internet.
What I don't have access to isloads of drop opportunities or
(19:09):
like loads of funding pots orhuge numbers of people for
audiences.
And that's all the stuff that Iwould normally be creating and
working with.
So I need to work with what I'vegot and working with limitations
is brilliant for the creativeprocess and I feel like I'm
learning so much here and beingin the government, I'm in the
government.
It's absolutely incredible whatI'm learning and I love it, but
I need to up my game and I feellike just getting better at.
(19:33):
Reels on social media would belike key.
I also don't have loads of moneyavailable to spend on a course,
so I am looking for freebies orlike help and support that's
free if possible.
But if it was like not a crazyexpensive course, then I could
possibly do it.
But yeah, money is tight.
So yeah, I really want to makethat work.
And it's also trusting that.
(19:54):
Nothing's gonna stay the samelike World War three's possibly
already begun.
And you don't know what's gonnaremember to treasure the moments
that you have because I'm herenow going, oh, I'm cleaning the
toilets, blah, blah, whatever.
But I'm like.
At peace and safe, and I've gota roof over from my head and
Dizzle here, he hasn't beenconscripted into the army.
(20:17):
We are not like hiding frombombs being dropped on our
heads.
We're not staring into the abyssof a nuclear war.
We are slightly, but notobviously just yet.
And.
We've got electricity and we'vegot access to everything we want
and need 10 years time.
I could be looking back on thatand going, my God, I'd give
anything to be cleaning thosetoilets right now.
(20:38):
Don't ever take anything forgranted, because I'm lucky as
hell to be living in paradise.
I'm living in absolute paradisewith someone who loves and
adores me in a gorgeous cottage.
There is nothing to complainabout, that for me is what the
meaning of life has been is thenumber 42.
What is the question or thequest?
Quest eye on is to keep questingonto and into the inner world
(21:02):
and questing in the outer worldand going on adventures, but all
of them are for me to.
Challenge myself to not getcomfy and sit in a seat and just
let life happen at me.
But to create mad experiencesand get out there and do weird
and wacky things and put myselfin unusual situations that push
me and terrify me and exciteand.
(21:25):
Inspire and interest me, andthen also to trust the unknown
and trust the process that allwill be well.
So the universe has never led meto being wealthy, but I also
have a moral high ground in thegovernment that is very useful
because I'm the poorest personthere and I've always got that
perspective and authority interms of.
(21:48):
This is what's being done at us,and I always have that
perspective to add to the mix.
I'm the one that's thinkingabout access and inclusion.
And also Jimmy, who I'm gonna beinterviewing next week.
I can't wait for you to meetJimmy.
I'm really excited.
So my guest next week is myfirst interview with a SARC
local.
There's a I wanna just intervieweverybody.
I wanna speak to everyone andincluding all the people here on
(22:09):
sarc.
'cause everyone's got a story totell.
They're.
Interesting, beautiful people,but Jimmy is such a diamond and
we are going to create a radioshow that we're gonna, start
doing it in Sarks.
We're gonna do some SAR radioand I was doing the podcast for
Jimmy, for him to experiencewhat it's like to be interviewed
and just go through the processof making a podcast.
(22:30):
And he was brilliant.
I've got absolute fullconfidence in him smashing it,
doing a radio show, everyone'sgonna love it.
So I'm looking forward tohearing that and working with
him on creating that and just.
Generally so's so lively andfull of ideas at the moment.
It feels like a really exciting,inspiring place and the
possibility of creating a littleutopia here.
(22:50):
See, I didn't choose to be inthe government.
The universe asked me twice todo it.
When I say I trust the universe,this is an example of what that
means.
So someone approached me andasked me to join Chief Police.
I said, no way.
I have no.
Desire to do that.
I've never wanted to be inpolitics.
I'm very political and I'm verydriven about things, but like
(23:10):
I'd only just been living theretwo years, which is how long you
need to be there to be able tojoin the government.
But I was always like, I'mhaving a nice time.
I'm getting married next year.
Like I don't really wanna dochief plea.
And then.
Second person came up to me andwent, oh, the first person said
that you were up for doing ChiefPolice.
That's amazing.
It's so exciting.
We really need people like you.
And I said no.
(23:31):
I said that I wasn't doing it.
And she went, oh my God, pleasedo it.
We really need like left fieldthinkers.
We need people who've got a bitof life experience that from
other places.
And just someone who's more leftwing.
There's a lot of, the sort ofpeople that can do chief Police
because it's voluntary.
Tend to be wealthy, retired men,that tends to be what the people
(23:51):
that are able to do it.
And then there's a lot of localsthat have been doing it forever,
which is brilliant, and we needthem and we need that
continuity, but we need a littlebit of fresh, young blood and
yes, a bit more left, leftleaning views.
And please do it.
And I was like, okay.
Actually I haven't sought thisout, but the universe is.
(24:14):
Brought this to me twice and hasgiven me good reasons for it and
asked me to do it.
And that's what I mean bytrusting the universe.
I was like, yeah, all rightthen.
And then I've ended up being init.
And that means even when thingshave got difficult, which this
year they've got reallydifficult and have had some very
sticky one of the mostunpleasant, I've had loads of
unpleasant experiences doingthat, to be honest.
(24:34):
And the level of big girlpanting I've had to do is off
the charts.
But wow I've never even used theterm big girl pants until living
here.
And I've always avoided andhated having difficult
conversations.
And then it starts feeling likeit all clicks into place.
And this for me is what the 42comes back to, is what is the
meaning of life.
(24:55):
It's what you make it mean.
That's the key.
So I don't think as a white,privileged person, you can sit
there and say, oh, everythinghappens for a reason, which I
was brought up being told.
My mom always said that to me,and I totally love her for
saying that.
It's not, I don't, I'm notknocking her for saying that
she's a born again Christian,and she's a very beautiful,
(25:16):
positive person, and she's like,everything happens for a reason.
And it's a bit like how they, mymom and dad always talked about
unconditional love as well.
Now I think the thought ofunconditional love and the
thought of everything happeningfor a reason.
It's less powerful to me thanrealizing that my mom chooses
every day to love me the way sheloves me.
(25:39):
She loves me fiercely andpassionately, and she's there
for me, and she will do anythingshe can.
She will be generous and giving,and she'll, give things up
herself so that I can have them,like she's so incredibly giving
in the way that a mom is.
But just, I know that all momsaren't like that.
And I feel so lucky to have amom who is like that and she
(26:01):
chooses to do that.
And that to me is more importantand more powerful than
unconditional love, which isit's just a given.
And that's also how I feel aboutmeaning.
So it's not that everythinghappens for a reason.
But I believe that we can find areason for everything happening.
So for me, the IVF and the wholeIVF journey and being really
depressed and hating my life ledto me having an ego death where
(26:25):
the person who thought they weregonna be famous and be the big
entrepreneur had to step offthat cliffs unknown, where I was
like, I'm not gonna kill myself.
'cause I love my mom and I'm notgonna do that to my mom.
But I dunno what I'm gonna doanymore.
I dunno what I'm here for.
Universe, you are in charge now.
And that was that moment and Istepped off the cliff like the
fall into the unknown and Isaid, you are now in charge
universe.
(26:45):
And I feel like I'm having to dothat a little bit again now in
that so much has happened in therecent times.
I.
Moving here.
Like the pilgrimage led me hereand it led me to meeting Dizzle.
And Dizzle had a tattoo on hisfinger of the room.
That was one of the Rees that mypilgrimage was.
I pulled two Rees for thepilgrimage.
One at one end.
(27:05):
I placed one re at one end andplaced the other at the other
end of the country.
I made a spirit line betweenthese two rees and one of those
Rees was tattooed on Drizzle'sfinger.
So when I met him, it was like,and the other room was my room.
So it was like me and him makethat pilgrimage.
It's like that pilgrimagecreated me and him.
And so that's a.
Sign, if ever there was one.
If you're gonna look for signs,and I don't believe in this, I
(27:27):
always say this, I always giveit the proviso, but like the
universe is just chaos.
It is just chaos.
So you might as well follow somesigns that mean something to
you, just as a way of having amenu, having some kind of
guidelines.
Follow.
Follow the signs.
Be conscious and if anything, itmakes you be more present and
makes you observe things, but italso gives you a little chuckle
(27:49):
and a bit of gameplay.
And I, I will happily accept andwould also let go of attachment
to it at any moment.
I'm like that with all beliefs.
Is that.
I would happily I'm not attachedto them.
And when I find things that I amreally attached to, I will try
and work at letting go of themand seeing how I can let that
go.
Just continuously keep lettinggo of attachments.
(28:11):
But one of the attachments Ihave, I guess one of the
meanings I have is that we canfind meaning.
And in fact, actually I did letgo of this slightly the other
day because I was saying, know,it's what we make it mean and
that we have that power to findmeaning within it.
And then I met this young ladwho's just finished doing
philosophy at a level.
And he said what about if youare in a concentration camp or
(28:33):
you've, been tortured and you'recompletely broken down and
you're now like, almost like inan animal state?
How do you make that makemeaning?
And I was like, actually itworks up until the point where
hope is lost.
So while there's still hope.
Then you can turn your shit intogold.
And that's what alchemy isturning lead into gold.
(28:54):
And that's what the full Moon isthat we literally had last night
is the Sagittarius full moon.
So the Sagittarius full Moon isbeing able to alchemize your
lead into gold.
And what that means to me istaking the shit bits of your
story, the bits that are.
Dark and crunchy and hard, andthat really pushed you and you
had to put your big girl pantson and to find the gold within
it to find the meaning and themedicine from it.
(29:16):
And I'm, in the middle of aprocess.
At the moment, I'm in a, I'm inthe thick of a chapter.
I'm not at the end of a chapterpage turn, you know, that's in
two, three years time, two and ahalf years time, there'll be
another page turn of my sevenyear chapters and.
Yeah, I'm writing the thick ofthe crunch at the moment.
(29:36):
I suppose I'm in that dramapoint of the story has to get
bad and worse, and you're like,oh my God, it's not gonna, and
then, and then it all resolvesand the hero figures out what
they're doing.
And also that also might nothappen.
It's just, whatever gets youthrough the night, hurling
through space on a lump of rock,just whatever gets you through
the night.
So I'm.
I'm open to and exploring andlooking at what meaning there is
(29:58):
in all of this.
And what my quest eye on is thatI'm on the question, what is the
question to life, the universeand everything?
What is the quest that you areon?
And the quest that I'm on is tomake this world a more
passionate, compassionate, andextraordinary place.
And I know that that's apossibility I created for
myself, my life.
Many years ago now.
(30:19):
And that was from being in acult called Landmark Education.
I'm giving you a little namecheck, because that was from
you.
They're not really a cult, butthey're very pyramid Schemey
financially, but I got a lotfrom them.
I actually wouldn't dissuadepeople from doing their courses.
I got a hell of a lot out ofthem.
They're just very.
Good at enrolling you onto moreof them, is the way I would put
(30:41):
it.
But they're brilliant andthey're called the McDonald's of
Enlightenment and lots of thetools that I learned from, that
I still use, and one of them wasinventing myself as a
possibility and I inventedmyself as a possibility of a
passionate, compassionate, andextraordinary life.
And then that evolved into.
That being the world, that I'mthe possibility of a passionate,
(31:01):
compassionate, an extraordinaryworld, and I use that all the
time.
And that's what my quest ion is.
And so that's what I'm doing.
That's what I'm here for andthat's what I'm doing.
And yeah, all in the name of 42.
So I'm gonna pull aro and seewhat the universe wants me to
talk about.
(31:34):
If you enjoy this podcast,please consider supporting me on
Patreon, which ispatreon.com/jolie Rose.
I would love this to become myfull-time job.
That is the absolute dream.
And if I keep creating contentthat you like and putting
podcasts out there and sharingthe incredible people I know and
telling you all the storiesabout the weird and wonderful
(31:55):
world that I am living in andcreating, then.
And hopefully people will hearabout it.
People enjoy it, and more andmore people will support through
Patreon.
It is happening.
It's growing.
It's lovely.
It's a beautiful community thatsupports me and I love everybody
who's involved in listening andgiving me feedback and sharing.
I'd love more.
Anyone wants to let me know,like things they want me to
(32:16):
explore or people they thinkthat I should interview or
anyone, or if you wanna beinterviewed yourself, if you are
like, when's she gonna ask me?
Just get in touch.
I'm well up for it.
I'm excited to intervieweveryone.
I want to peer into everybody'sbeautiful world.
You don't have to be doingsomething special or fantastic.
It's, this is about.
How everyone's a paralleluniverse and we're all guardians
(32:37):
and gatekeepers of an innerworld that only exists while
you're alive.
I'm interested in every singleone of those universes and I
wanna see into all of them.
So I'm game.
So if you're up for beinginterviewed, let me know.
And if there's anyone you thinkwould be great, put them in
touch with me.
And if there's any themes ortopics you'd like me to explore
further, or anything that I'vediscussed that you're like, or
could you go into that in a bitmore detail, then reach out to
(32:58):
me on social media or nonsensein the chaos@gmail.com.
So if you are able to support meon Patreon, that's just a really
nice way to say thank you.
If you can't afford to do amonthly subscription, then just
share tell people about thepodcasts and just get the word
out there.
And if you wanna see me livedoing anything in real life, I'm
gonna be at Shangri Laperforming in the evenings.
(33:19):
On all of the nights, Friday,Saturday, Sunday in there's a
really cool new thing happeningat Shangrila.
I'm not gonna give it away.
You're gonna have to come alongand see.
So if you happen to be atGlastonbury Festival, there'll
be some installations andperformances happening in the
evenings between 11:00 PM on twoin the mornings normally when
we're there.
Come along and have a look andthen.
(33:41):
I'm gonna be at BoomTown aswell, opening BoomTown.
So if you come to the originstage, I'll be at the beginning
of the opening ceremonyblessing, the blessing the
festival.
And then we will have our ownvenue called the La Luna Coven
Venue, which is a secret hiddenvenue, but we are in the old
town, so you'll have to findwhere we are and see if you're
able to get in.
There's normally a bit of aqueue, but it's very exclusive.
(34:03):
But it's really good fun and youcan come and meet me and get the
experience of the Luna Coven inreal life.
And then, yeah, my book's comingout in towards the end of the
year, and I'll be.
Creating the pre-sales andpre-orders and getting that kind
of going so that it gets pushed.
'cause the more pre-orders youget the further it pushes your
book these days is all about thepre-orders apparently.
(34:25):
So I'll be doing the walkingpilgrimage for two months from
September to October across theUK from.
Cornwall to the North Coast, andif you live anywhere along the
Michael line and know that routeand want us to come and perform
for you, or if you're up forfeeding us and looking after us,
then get in touch again andwe'll come and visit you.
I'll obviously be doing mypodcast whilst walking, so
(34:46):
you'll have a whole journey oftwo months.
My God, I dunno how I'm gonnamanage to do that, or we'll try
it.
I might have to not.
I'll see.
We'll see how well that goes.
I might have to have a break fora little while, but yeah, we'll
be, there'll definitely be lotsof, live recordings from the
walk and the people that wemeet.
So I look forward to sharing allof that with you as well.
(35:06):
But definitely get in touch ifyou'd like us to come and visit
and yeah, buy the book, orderthe book.
I'll be getting that up and I'llbe able to share links with that
scene.
So very much looking forward tothat and now on with the show.
Thank you very much.
(35:31):
So the universe, what do youwant us to talk about today?
Abundance.
That's apt, isn't it?
Yes.
Abundance.
Gratitude.
Ah, okay, cool.
I just wanna share abundance.
I once had this in a, I wasdoing some project with Buffy,
(35:53):
who some people might know who'sa musician.
I might try and interview her.
Actually.
She'd be a good person tointerview.
Cassia is her real name.
She's been making work in thesame world as me for since two
th 2002 or 2003 I've known herfor.
And Poppy, poppy Kay's.
Jonathan Kay's daughter was goodfriends with Buffy and they used
to make music together and.
(36:15):
We were doing some project, oh,we were trying to build an
amphitheater.
Oh yeah.
So that, yes.
Hang on, I'm gonna make a noteof this.
'cause community, yeah, I'm justthinking about the Chaos
Crusade.
Okay, I've got two, two for you.
Yeah, we were trying to build a,an amphitheater out in Brighton
and it was called the Apple PieProject because it was just how
(36:37):
delicious and relishing a thingan apple pie is.
And that was what the feel ofthe project was.
And we found a site and wetalked and it, the ball got
rolling quite a lot, and in theend, an amphitheater did get
built in Brighton by acompletely separate group of
people, but it felt like.
Although it was nothing reallyto do with us at all that it got
(36:57):
built, there was definitelysomething put out there.
People did tell them that peoplehad been interested in it, so
they knew that something hadhappened before.
And one of the things wasabundance.
And I got these buns and I woulddo a dance with the buns, and
that was abundance and.
I've waven that into my harvestfestival.
(37:17):
John Barley corn celebrationsfor mice and celebrating the
harvest is doing abundance.
And so that's what mainly comesup for me when I see something
that's abundance.
So this ruin is feel, and itlooks like an F and it means
cattle and it's about theabundance of the beef and the,
all of the meat and produceyou're gonna get from this
cattle and how much moneythey're gonna make you.
(37:39):
And yeah, for me.
It is become a real interestingthing living here on sarc.
It's I'm so living in a bizarrereality because I am a
successful artist to somepeople.
There is a world where I'm knownas a successful artist and I
have had quite a bit of money atcertain points and have been,
(38:01):
I've, I was able to travel theworld.
I was able to buy designerclothes.
I was able to, do whatever Iwanted.
Sit in cafes all day and workand have all my time to myself.
My time was pretty much my wholelife other than a year and a
half in a call center and aboutsix months working in an office
when I was 18 to get the moneyto move to Australia.
(38:23):
Other than moving to SAR andworking in the mermaid, which
I've done now for five years,which is mad.
I've never had my timecontrolled by anyone else.
My, if I get up, I can get upwhenever I want.
I, if I'm having a, my period, Ican take a day off and I'm
bleeding.
I, my time has been completelyavailable for me to spend it
however I want.
And now I don't have that.
(38:44):
I have shifts and I have to beat work for those shifts, and I
can just about cope with itbecause I.
Working in a pub.
So it's being paid to socializein a way.
So that feels palatable to me asa Savannah animal.
I don't think I've said thisbefore on the podcast, but I've
been talking about it a lotrecently.
So it feels like I have, but Idon't think it's been recorded.
(39:05):
Me saying this, that I teachproducing at Chichester
University was one of the thingsthat I did when I was still
living in the uk a module aboutproducing.
And one of the things that Iwould talk about is how.
I taught it at E 15 as well.
I forgot about that.
So yeah, taught it at E 15 andat church university, and it was
talking about.
(39:25):
How we have different types ofanimals in the world.
You have Savannah animals andzoo animals and zoo animals are
really comfortable and happy tohave their food brought for them
and their medicine given tothem.
And they know what, they knowtheir routine and they know
their lives.
And the thought of just suddenlybeing dumped in the wild without
any of that.
Would, they'd probably die.
(39:46):
They wouldn't be able to cope.
And then you have Savannahanimals who are wild animals
that you capture.
And if you put them in a zoo,that will kill them.
Or they'll go mad becausethey'll basically feel like
they're in prison and you areeither one of the zoo animals or
you are a Savannah animal.
And I am 100% as a pan animal.
I'm 46 and I've spent 26 years.
(40:09):
Wow.
I suppose 20 years.
Because I've lived here for fivenow and I've had to give away
some of my time, which to mejust feels like some of my life
and I know people who work in anoffice and have done this all
their lives, probably likeboohoo, but also.
I don't have any money orsecurity or safety because of
that.
So yeah, I have that amazingfreedom and it's brilliant.
(40:30):
But I've not got any security.
I don't have a pension.
I don't have enough of a wage, Idon't have, I just, I have no
security.
There's no security whatsoever.
I don't own any property.
I don't have anything.
And.
That's great when a pandemichappens and everyone's losing
their shit.
Also with all the stuff that'sgoing on in the world at the
moment where the economy couldfall down any second, I've got
(40:53):
nothing to lose.
And that was pretty useful inthe pandemic where I was able to
just float my way over to sarcand I didn't have any children
tying me down or any otherthings holding me back and was
able to just move over here andfind myself a beautiful husband
and yeah, live the life that I'mliving.
Abundance for me is somethingI've come to recently is
realizing that I benefit loadsfrom being.
(41:19):
Poor in that, like I was sayingearlier in chief police from
having the kind of moral highground.
And that's such an intrinsicpart of my personality.
I do look at Kathy Burke and Ithink she's a working class hero
who's got money and she uses hermoney to do good things.
And that's what I would like.
That's what if I suddenly hadloads of money, what I would do
(41:39):
is set up trusts and funds and,grants and stuff for artists I'd
leave it all to a strugglingartist.
When I die, I 100%.
Or if I went to an art event andI met someone, I'd like just
sneakily.
Buy their picture for loads ofmoney or just things that helps
artists on their journey wouldbe so important for me in
(42:01):
helping young people get off theground with learning a skill.
If someone's like really keen tolearn the piano, I'd get them a
piano, or just things like that,like ways to help people tune
into their creativity and bereally generous with it and
create.
Really cool public events andcommunity events and just do fun
and funky stuff with it.
That's what I would like to do.
(42:21):
And yeah, I see you Kathy Burkepretty much is definitely my
inspiration and guiding light inall of that.
So yeah, that's what abundanceto me means being grateful for
what you've got and realizinghow lucky you are with
everything you have.
(42:43):
Which brings us on nicely to theChaos Crusade.
Now, I might have alreadysuggested the easy part for this
before, and if I have, thenmaybe you should try the harder
part.
If you've listened to thatpodcast, I'm not sure if I have.
I think I mentioned it alongsidemorning pages, but anyway the
easy part of the suggestion iswriting a gratitude list and
(43:06):
doing this every day, and I didsuggest doing it as part of the
morning pages.
I remember now as I've said itout loud, so you might have done
this already, but I reallyrecommend writing gratitude list
lists.
That's a brilliant way offeeling how abundant you are, of
being aware of how.
Lucky you are.
So writing down all the thingsyou're grateful for, and you'll
(43:26):
start with bigger things likeyour family or your job or
things like that.
But then it's the little thingsas well, like a really good
juicy, fresh strawberry.
Picked yourself from the gardenor watching a snail slither
along and its little funny eyesdoing its little thing or
watching a sunset, which is whatI just went and did for my
friends.
So if you're watching the video,you'll see that my outfit's
(43:46):
changed.
So yeah, we've got a really nicehabit here in Sark of watching a
sunset.
And I do it regularly and it'ssomething that I feel.
I just never did.
Really, it was only if it washappening by coincidence that I
would ever watch sunsets in theuk.
But here it's one of our thingsthat we go do.
We're just talking about thesolstice.
(44:07):
We're gonna go watch the sunsetand swim in the sea with the sun
setting for the solstice, andthen stay up all night and then
go swim on the other side of theisland, which is only a mile
away, and go swim for thesunrise.
And yeah, that's gonna be whatwe're doing next Saturday, which
I'm looking forward to.
I did it last year and I swamwith the river of golden light,
which meant to be the road tofairy land.
(44:27):
And now I'll always associatewith Sophia, although this last
solstice, it wasn't associatedwith Sophia and I spread my legs
and I was skinny dipping, and Ispread my legs and impregnated
myself with the golden beam oflight from the sun and film
myself up with the power of rahand all this creative juiciness.
And then, yeah, did it forsunrise and for sunset.
(44:50):
So that was pretty fun.
And yeah, been a creative year.
I've written a book and donelots of amazing things.
So that was fun.
opening BoomTown and walking thepilgrimage, writing my book,
and.
Doing all these mad things withchief police, which felt, feels
very creative in its way aswell.
Creating a future for the islandand creating an education system
(45:12):
and creating a.
Island plan and yeah, it's mad.
All the things that, that I dohere.
Wonderful.
So this brings it onto thesecond chaos Crusade suggestion,
and that is doing a communityproject.
So this again was a landmarkproject thing that I did.
It was on one of the courseswhere it got you to connect with
your community and it's the.
(45:35):
To create, just to createsomething with community.
So write down the list ofcommunities that you are
connected to, and then pick oneand think of a project that you
could enroll them in to get themto join in with something.
So it could be throwing a streetparty or starting a community
garden where you grow theproduce together and then you
eat meals together and maybeonce a month you have a meal
that you will eat.
(45:56):
Food that you've grown togetheror a book club.
A what if book club where youstart a book club where you talk
about what if the food supplychain stopped because of war or
another boat got stuck in SueCanal and where the end of the
chain when it comes to foodsales the food line.
We are right at the end on sarc.
(46:16):
So we have to actually reallythink about this and that's part
of what we're.
Developing.
The island plan that I'm pushingfor is thinking about
resilience.
So think of a community projectthat you could work on,
something that you could do thatwould be nice with one of the
communities that you areconnected to, and enroll them.
Enroll people in doing it withyou.
And if you do something, let meknow.
I'd love to know.
Go for it.
Why not just do a thing andwhatever, it's knitting a stitch
(46:40):
and bitch club.
Or put on a jumble sale for acharity or something like that.
But do something that involvesother people.
It's literally.
All I do now, my whole life isthat we're doing the big picnic
on SOC this Saturday and it's aninvitation for people to come
along with hampers and have apicnic.
And then there's a few caterers,different people like
restaurants and event catererswho are picked together,
(47:02):
hampers, and are gonna be atcertain spots.
There's gonna be music atcertain spots, so it's just an
invitation for people to comeover and have a picnic.
So I'll be going around doingthat and then, yeah, just.
Forever involved in communitythings.
There's a jumble sale thisSaturday as well, so we'll be
going and supporting that bygoing and buying some stuff.
And yes, so always thingshappening.
(47:23):
So go and get involved.
Get involved in your community.
It's where resilience lies, asI've said before.
And it's also where you reallyconnect with abundance and maybe
part of your community thing atsome point can do abundance
yourselves.
And remember that it all comesfrom this lovely room feel thero
of abundance.
So that's it for me today.
Thank you ever so much forlistening and supporting and.
(47:47):
I look forward to speaking toyou next week.
I've got such a cool interviewwith my friend Jimmy, who's a
local here, and I'm lookingforward to you meeting him.
He's such a beautiful humanbeing, so thank you so much, and
I shall see the anon.
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