Now That's Smut I'm Talking About
Taylor (she/her) an avid smut reader, and Don (they/them) a terrified newbie, dive deep into the delicate folds of the world of unhinged erotica.
Episodes
Happy Pride! This week We're Here, We're Queer, and We're Horny. Be careful not to glue your boobs to the table when Taylor starts us off with Emma Elizabeth's sweet and sapphic, "T!ts Out Slits Out." Then Don celebrates cryptids, the post office, and efficient bisexual threesomes with Chuck Tingle's, "Bisexual Mothman Mailman Makes a Special Delivery in Our Butts."
This week we're sliding on sheets and considering the tensile strength of your average hat, because it's once again time for Dealer's Choice. First, Don gets a green thumb with Fannie Tucker's, "Garden Gnome Sex Party." Then Taylor discovers a conspiracy and possibly a new literary classic with, "I Banged A Vampire And He Didn't Sparkle Like The Bitches In Twilight," by Raven Blackbird.
Taylor and Don are here to rectify your situation, because it's been 15 years since the international smash hit "50 Shades of Grey" by E.L. James taught a bunch of horny moms sort of what BDSM is. In this very special episode, listen to us yell forever about such thrilling topics as: email, Wikipedia, and weak tea. But don't worry, the contract apparently doesn't matter. Expect some genuine aftercare, and please don't blame us for ...
Computer? I hardly know her! We don't know what this company does but oh boy are we surrounded by horny technology! First, Taylor returns to the fascinating mind of Leonard Delaney with, The Office Photocopier Wants to Have Sex With Me. Then Don accepts a little customer assistance in, Scanned and Stuffed: Taken by the Horny Self-Checkout Machine by Skye MacKinnon and Philomena MacKinnon.
(TW Gore and body horror from 13:46-15:30)
We've written ourselves into your ears this week with 'Freakier than Fan-Fiction!' Don delivers a research and rant-driven dive into the history and fascinating current of fan-fiction as an art form. Then Taylor launches into a wholesome, bisexual reimagining of everyone's favorite study group with GreendaleHumanBeing's, You Run My Mind, Boy. Finally, Don considers breakfast food representative relations with Nevski's, Like They Do...
It's time for Dealer's Choice again, and we're sucking on chocolate eggs and asking the age old question, 'If a pair of pants wore pants, how would they wear the pants?' First, Don dresses down with My Date with a Pair of Gray Sweatpants by Dakota Cockaday as Cassi O. Peia. Then, Taylor wishes for a bit of sugar with Bethanie Loren's, Eggcellent.
All aboard, and buckle up! This week we're talking "planes, trains, and automobiles" and we've got two books HOT off the presses! Taylor gets the engine steaming with Railed: A Why Cho-Cho-Choose Romance by Zane E. Stori. Then Don takes the scenic route to boner town with Brake Me, by Athena Bliss and Marluxia Bliss.
Looks like you're looking for the worst rated smut ever, can we assist you with that? We've wandered into "1 star, would not recommend" territory! Don gets the totally chill and normal party going with Giselle Renarde's, Rainbow Night. Then Taylor takes to the chopter and considers the plot importance of jiggle physics in Leonard Delaney's, Conquered by Clippy.
Prepare for the robo-pocalypse and don't forget what your toaster is made of, because this week Taylor and Don are finding horny objects "Around the House." Taylor starts off by demonstrating some unusual new cleaning methods with H.G. Vacuus', Ravished by Roomba. Then Don gets hot under the crust and yells for a while at P.P. Stroker's, Toast Me Gently.
Hop onboard! It's Dealer's Choice again and we're tooting out some cocaine jazz on our way down this yeasty river. First, Don learns to give back with Thea Masen's, Stiff: An Inanimate Object Shifter Romance. Then Taylor plays a little ditty with Nora Noodle's, French Horny: An Erotic Sentient Instrument Romance.
Got Milk? We sure do this week! First, Taylor takes on alternative employment with Jocelyn Sinrose's, Private Hucow: Filled and Fertile. Then Don gets surprisingly cozy with 24 ounces of C.M. Nascosta's, Morning Glory Milking Farm.
We've landed in the XXX files, because this week we're hunting for horny cryptids! First, Don sends chills all up and down ya with two selections from author, Sibley Stamps: Naked with the Fresno Nightcrawlers, and Used by the Hatman. Then Taylor takes flight with a pair of cutie patooties in Elaine J. Daniels', Mesmerized by the Moth Woman.
We return once again to the fuzzy bosom of "Dealer's Choice"! And this time, we doubled up! First, Taylor shoots us into the pool with Holly Wilde's, SPF Me. Then Don gives a fire safety seminar with Holly Wilde's, Laid by the Lint Trap Monster. Completing the Holly Wilde hat trick, Taylor boils up trouble with, The Deviled Egg Made Me Do it. Then Don ties it all to the ceiling with Fanny Tucker's, I Fucked the Puppet.
Omega-oh-me-oh-my! There's fur exploding in all directions and everyone's pregnant! Today we take a mildly informed trip into the Omegaverse! After a quick informative quiz, Don locks us in their basement and takes a bite of Colbie Dunbar's, Mated to the Mob. Then Taylor shows us a radical mind movie with L.C. Davis's, Bro and the Beast.
In this "Cold as Ice" episode, we're trapped in a sauna and deeply worried about the risotto. First, Taylor considers the anatomy of a jug in Vera Valentine's, Cold Sweat. Then Don gets a head wound and disappoints HR in Cleo White's, Chilled and Thrilled.
We're getting "Wet and Wild" and forgetting our own darn names this week! After a quick gaslighting, Don explores alternative ASMR and radical acceptance in Ivanna Schloppykoch's, Seduced By the Swamp Creature. Then Taylor waterboards you, but in like a cool and sexy way, in Unfortunate Reads', My Date With Water.
Taylor and Don are blasting off right in front of the dinosaur president today with an "Out of this World" episode. First, Don goes back to where it all started to finish out Chuck Tingle's, Space Raptor Butt Trilogy (and the story behind it) with Space Raptor Butt Redemption and Space Raptor Butt Ascension. Then Taylor sneaks a tentacle or two in there and considers a career in space piracy with January Bell's, Alien Kraken’...
It's Dealer's Choice! Don and Taylor have each selected a group of feral fiction for the other to pick from this week. First Taylor checks out some hardware in Vera Valentine's, "Unhinged." Then Don gets paleontological on a trip through time in Lola Faust's, "Triceratops and Bottoms."
Grab your plums and/or nectarines and prepare your (ear) holes for some *Horny Sentient Objects.* First, Don shines a light on Sabrina Cross's "Light Me Up: A M/M Lamp Romance" then Taylor discusses the importance of getting your veggies in with Fannie Tucker's "Bagged By the Groceries"
Today for your titillation, Taylor and Don are Scared but Horny as they explore priest vegetable threesomes in G.M. Fairy's "Pounded by Produce: A Veggie Love Tale" and run with sexy slasher boys in Molly Doyle's "Scream for Us: A Dark Romance Halloween Novella"
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