April 4, 2025 • 29 mins
Listen in for a fun converstaion as Dr. Pete interviews Brian Hite. Brian is a modern-day Renaissance man, blending high-octane stunt work with sport/performance psychology and education. With over 100 film and TV credits, including a Screen Actors Guild award for “24,” and more than a decade training U.S. Army soldiers, Brian has lived and thrived in moments where clarity and focus are paramount. Yet, it was his fascination with the psychology behind these experiences that led him to pursue advanced degrees in sport and organizational psychology. Combining the expertise of a performance psychologist with the battle-tested experience of a professional stuntman, Brian works to help you see stress & pressure in a whole new way, changing how you approach high-stakes situations and unlocking your true potential.
Learn more about Brian here: https://brianhiteglobal.com
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:17):
Hey, welcome back to On Air with Dr Pete.
I'm your host, dr Pete Economo,and, like always, we are here
today with some tools and tips,and today we have a wonderful
guest for you.
We are really lucky to haveBrian Haidt.
He is a modern day Renaissanceman.
He's doing things that no oneelse is doing, and he's blended
this high octane stunt work withsport and performance like.
(00:40):
So over 100 films and tvcredits and a screen actors
guild award for 24, as well as adecade of training us army
soldiers.
So this is a man who's actuallylived and thrive in these real
moments and is fascinated formore education in psychology,
and so he went on to get someadvanced degrees in sport in
(01:00):
organizational psychology.
So this combination ofperformance psychologists with a
battle tested experience ofprofessional stunt man.
So he is here to give you sometools and tips.
Brian, thank you so much forbeing here.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
I really appreciate you having me.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I'm looking forward to the discussion so tell
everyone, like you know, we youand I were talking so
organizational development,organizational psychology.
How did you make that decision?
Were talking so organizationaldevelopment organizational
psychology.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
how did you make that decision?
Well, the whole thing's kind ofa weird process.
I mean, it started where youare, at Rutgers.
It started when I was 20 yearsold.
I was halfway through college.
I went to college becausethat's what I was supposed to do
.
I mean, that was just theexpectation.
But I had no idea what I wantedto do and I was floundering, I
was struggling in collegebecause I couldn't figure out.
Okay, well, what am I?
(01:46):
What's next?
There's got to.
I'm supposed to get a job.
That's what I'm told is thenext part.
So what does that look like?
I couldn't figure out where Iwanted to work, and then I ended
up.
I had a friend who was thecompany manager of the Batman
stunt show at the Six Flags outthere in New Jersey great
adventure.
And I went out there and I sawthe show and I just that was it.
Man, I was, I was, I was from.
(02:08):
The explosions went off andmotorcycles took off and jumped
out of this thing.
I was, I was mesmerized and andI decided, right then, that's,
I wanted to do stunts.
I wanted to be a stunt man andbut I had no idea how to do that
.
Nobody does so, I, but I.
I knew the guy and so it tookme backstage.
I was able to ask theperformers how do you get this
job?
And they said well, you need toknow how to do this, this and
(02:30):
that.
And I learned those things,went to the audition, got the
job and and, and I did that showthe next summer and it was such
a phenomenal experience.
I don't know that I've had abetter summer in the rest of my
life other than that first one,because everything was new.
It was like you know the poemfrom the outsiders nature's
first green is gold.
(02:50):
So you got to stay gold.
It was all gold, it was all new, it was all fresh and and for
the first time I'd figured outwhere I belonged.
I felt like I had purpose anddirection and I wasn't just out
there struggling like I'd beendoing at Rutgers for two years.
So that was the good part.
The bad part was that then I hadto go back to school and
(03:13):
actually do things for a jobthat you know, because the only
reason I was there was to get ajob.
But now I'd found a job thathad nothing to do with school.
Yeah, I was failing everythingand I ended up dropping out.
Wow, my senior year I left withone semester to go Somehow or
another.
I passed the first semester.
I was not passing the secondsemester.
I left and I moved to.
(03:39):
Well, I did the show one moreseason there at Six Flags of New
Jersey and then moved to LA tobe a stuntman where they had the
same show.
Luckily I was able to get onthat Excuse me where they had
the same show.
Luckily I was able to get onthat and excuse me.
Um, and then link up with withjust some people who became my
well, very similar to college.
Really, it became my cohort,became my class, became my group
that I came up in the businesswith other other stuntmen other
(03:59):
stunt people.
Yeah, at that show.
I mean to this day that the guywho's the stunt coordinator or
was, because the show's over now, but who was the stunt
coordinator on stranger things?
second year director he's won acouple of Emmys for it.
I think he was there.
We were roommates for two and ahalf years.
There's another guy who'sworking with Christopher Nolan
now on his show odyssey thathe's busy filming.
He's the assistant stuntcoordinator on that.
(04:19):
I mean, I had a lot of theseguys that I came up with are
working on these big shows now.
So it was a great environmentfor me to learn and to practice.
But I did that and then, Idon't know, four or five years
after that, I, I just I realizedI missed learning and I decided
I wanted to go back and finishthe bachelor's degree.
But back then, you know, youcouldn't.
I couldn't just get on thecomputer.
I had to literally go 3000miles back to New Brunswick, new
(04:47):
Jersey, to to finish this thing, which I did, yeah, and got
that done and then continued onwith a master's degree in sports
psychology and a PhD inorganizational psychology, which
is, for those who don't know,it's just essentially sports
psychology for businesses.
Right, you know, how do you getthe most out of the people that
you're working with and createconditions for motivation and
and wellbeing and thriving andperformance?
So, um, but I never expected towork in either of those fields.
(05:12):
I was a stunt man and I lovedstunts and I wanted to continue
doing stunts and that was myvision.
I never expected to do that,but life does what it does and
the next thing you know, I foundmyself working for the army in
Washington as a sportperformance psychology
consultant.
Brand new program, again.
So cool to be part of somethingbrand new.
We were able to generate it, wewere able to create it and
(05:32):
really morph it into somethingthat was beneficial to soldiers.
It didn't start that way itstarted.
The conception of it was let'sput some soldiers in a classroom
, show them some slides and thenthey'll go out and just apply
the stuff on their own, andthat's not going to work.
And so what we did isincorporate a field aspect, so
we would teach them some stuffin the classroom and then go out
in the field with them and justbe in their training
(05:54):
environments with them, helpingthem work through these skills.
So I did that for a couple ofyears Life changed again, went
back to LA to do stunts againfor a while, and then life
changed again.
And then I went back to thearmy job, this time outside of
Nashville, which is where I'moriginally from and which is
where I am now.
And but at that time this isthe program had had branched out
(06:16):
a little bit.
So this time it was not justsport and performance psychology
, it was also resilience.
So it was about how do we takethese concepts and skills, which
weren't different.
They all came from atheoretical background cognitive
psychology.
They're basically the samethings.
But the intent was how do wetake these things and and and
(06:36):
use them just in all aspects oflife?
How do we take these conceptsand skills and benefit from them
when life throws the inevitablechallenges at us that it does,
regardless of where we are?
And I love that.
I gravitated toward thatprogram.
I moved up through the variouslevels there's level one, two,
three, four, up until primaryinstructor of those programs
traveled around the globe doingthat program in a different
(06:59):
basis around the world, and itwas a terrific experience.
I loved it and it came to anend, as all experiences do, and
then I opened my own businessBegin Again Performance
Psychology back then.
Now it's Brian Haik, global,thinking I'd be working with
athletes and performers,performing artists, which is a
forgotten population in thisarea, you know.
(07:20):
I mean, sports psychology forathletes is ubiquitous.
It's been around since the 80s.
Everybody knows about it, right, but in the performing arts
people don't know about it andnobody's really using it to the
extent and degree that theyprobably should in order to see
those benefits, just like theathletes do.
But I thought that's what I'dbe doing and I did that for a
little bit.
But then I realized, you know, Idon't, I want something bigger.
(07:45):
I want something bigger, I wantsomething broader.
I want to make an impact inwith more people, but in an area
that really leverages myexperiences.
And I didn't feel like theathlete and performing artist
realm of just the individualone-on-one traditional sports
psychology coaching was doingthat.
So now what I do is I've zeroedin on the high stakes
(08:06):
environments, high stakesperformance situations and the
five populations I work with arefirst responders corporate
people, educators and theathletes and performing artists.
So I've got five of those areas, because each of those five
areas operates in high stakesperformance situations.
When I say high stakes, I justsimply mean situations where the
(08:28):
consequences matter, where theconsequences are truly important
.
Doesn't have to be life andlimb.
Physical consequences can befinancial consequences, can be
social consequences, you know.
I mean just if I get this wrong, my relationship with this
individual might, might be gone.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Yeah, those are high stakes situations too, I love
that you talked about going backlike to expectation, like you
were expected to go to Rutgers,expected to get an undergraduate
degree.
I think listeners will reallybenefit from hearing that,
because what 18 year old knowswhat they're supposed to do for
the rest of their life?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Well, I don't know what 30 year old knows.
That's that's a great point, youknow.
You know.
I mean, if there's one messagethat can come out of my journey,
you just never know.
Just be open to opportunity.
I thought what the path andthis is.
I have a keynote on this too.
It's called Always on the Path.
Yeah, because I was so stressedout and so upset and I
(09:21):
experienced so much angstbecause I didn't know how to
follow the path that I wasexpected to follow.
It just didn't fit me, and myperspective now is that there is
no path except the one that wecreate with each step, in each
moment, in other words, thefront part of the path.
(09:42):
It exists like quantum wavefunctions.
It's just probability, they'rejust anything.
Exists as soon as we take astep, as soon as we take an
action, as soon as we observethe data you know from quantum
in that world, then realitykicks in.
So we create our paths.
There's no path that we'resupposed to navigate and follow.
There are.
(10:02):
There's just a landscape outthere of of wellbeing and
happiness and goodness and andthere are.
There's just a landscape outthere, yeah, of of well-being
and happiness and goodness, andand there are a lot of different
ways to get to go those peaksand valleys on that landscape,
but uh, but that's, that'sthat's.
I appreciate you bringing thatup because that is something
that, in terms of high schoolkids especially, they are so
(10:22):
nervous about the.
Am I getting the rightstandardized test scores?
Am I taking the right classes?
Do I have the rightextracurricular activities to
get into the college that I want?
Because if I don't get intothat college then I'm not going
to be able to go to the nextplace.
And then, once I'm in college,am I majoring in the right thing
?
Am I making the rightconnections?
Am I getting the right thingson my resume, because otherwise
I'm not going to get that job?
That's the next step on my path.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
It's just one step on the path and you know, what I
always say to clients is likeit's just one decision.
You know it feels like thebiggest decision of your life,
but it's just one decision.
Wait, I want to.
You also, in the beginning,talked about like this, this,
and that.
You know, like forgettingtraining.
To become a stuntman, there hasto be a listener who's like
(11:09):
what is like, what's one or two,what's?
Speaker 2 (11:10):
what came to my mind was like my therapy dog had to
learn how to sit, stay and leave.
You know so not.
I hate to make that metaphorfor humans, but like, what's the
distance in that for a stuntman?
Well, I mean for thatparticular show it was fights,
high falls and motorcycles, yeah, and I mean, high falls are
exactly what they sound like.
You fall from high stunt peoplehow does one learn?
Speaker 1 (11:19):
how does one learn to do that?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
well I luckily again, I knew the company manager so
he put me in touch with.
I was able to get one of theguys from the show to teach me
the fights and high falls, yeah,and.
And then the dirt bike.
I just got a dirt bike, Ibought one and I went out to a
place and just practiced until Icould ride it a little bit.
I was, I was not anywhere closeto being at the caliber that I
should be by the time the showstarted, but I was what they had
(11:43):
.
So it was what it was, um, butI got.
But I practiced in betweenshows and that was really the
benefit of that show for me wasthat in between shows.
That's where the goodness wellmost of the goodness happened
for me, because I was able tolearn the skills, practice
skills, talking about repelling,driving little ATV thing, the
motorcycles, the fights, thefalls.
There was so much that I waslearning in that summer and that
(12:06):
served me tremendously wellthroughout my entire career.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Which is a really decorated career.
I mean over 100 credits andit's really impressive.
I mean, what's that like foryou today to kind of hear your
intro and just know all thatyou've been a part of?
Speaker 2 (12:24):
yeah, it's.
It is a little surreal.
Yeah, would you put it likethat?
It's.
I remember you know it's funny.
Um, when I'm on set, sometimesthis occurs to me because I
remember the very first showthat I ever did, when I got my
screen actors guild card.
I was an extra on a movie callediq it had tim robbins, meg ryan
and walter mathau, and, and itwas filmed in princeton Jersey,
(12:46):
which is why I was on it.
They needed college kids and Iwas at Rutgers and so they hired
me to be on that show and whatI remember is being in awe of
the director Like I was.
You know, I was just an extraas the director, and the
director is this big thing and Iwouldn't even deign to approach
the person.
I just I wouldn't even deign toapproach the person, I just
(13:07):
wouldn't.
And now I have conversationswith the director regularly and
it's not a big deal.
And there are some stuntcoordinators who, when I first
started my career, were justgilded in gold and I've got one.
His name's Doug Coleman.
He's one of the biggest stuntcoordinators second directors in
the business.
He's coming out to Nashville hemight be here now.
(13:29):
As a matter of fact, he'scoming out the next couple of
days to work on a show and heand our buds we're just going to
go.
We're going to go watch somemagic together at uh, at this
place, and if somebody had toldme 30 years ago hey, you're
going to be hanging out withDoug Coleman and uh and just
doing some card tricks with him.
I'd have told them they werecrazy.
So it is a little bit weird.
The progression.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Well, you put the work in.
It didn't just land at your lap, that's for sure.
That's what I'm hearing.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
No, not even a little bit.
It's a long journey, asanything is to get from one
place to another, and it's anunexpected journey.
To go back to what we weretalking about before, there was
no path, there was no.
I have it all lined up andthere are milestones along the
way and I need to hit thismilestone and then that one, it,
it, it morphed and changed.
As I mentioned, I moved.
(14:10):
I moved across the countryseveral times, I went in and out
of stunts a few times, I'm backin stunts.
I still do stunts to this day,for the third time in my life
after taking the breaks with thearmy.
So yeah, yeah, it's just it is.
It is a long path, but it is anunpredictable path.
It does take a lot of work, butyou don't know what that work
(14:31):
is going to be.
Necessarily at the beginningyou just have to be open and
ready.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
And take that next step.
So mental barriers you know asa performance coach, I wonder
did you have your own mentalbarriers?
Or like what are some commonmental barriers you see in
people that are at this likehigh stake performance positions
?
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Yeah Well, pressure, pressure and stress, I think,
are the two biggest ones, and Ithink they are just, in my
opinion, the most misunderstoodones.
So I like to distinguishbetween the two.
Some people conflate them.
Some people they just talkabout pressure and stress like
they're the same things, and Idon't think they are Right.
Some people they just talkabout pressure and stress like
they're the same things, and Idon't think they are.
(15:08):
And this really came after somesearching of myself, while I was
on set doing a job and I wasthinking about this and somebody
said I don't know whatever theconversation was you got to be
able to perform well underpressure or whatever.
And it just this flag went up.
I was like, wait a minute, isthat right?
I don't think it is, so Istarted thinking about it.
We don't need to perform underpressure, nor should we perform
(15:32):
under pressure.
Pressure is not a helpful thingand it's an indicator that our
attention is in the wrong spot.
Right, and I'll talk about thatmore in just a little bit.
But I think it's a, again, amisunderstanding of the
situation.
I think that the and I don'tthink there's such a thing as a
pressure situation.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
This came to me as well, because I was.
I was working on a show where Iwas coming out the back it was
the Righteous Gemstones in thenew season that's coming out and
I was driving in this truck andthe back of the truck popped
out and I was supposed to comeflying out the back, hit the
ground and roll.
Well, I had done essentiallythat same thing on another TV
(16:16):
show 20 years earlier, but inthat show I experienced a ton of
pressure prior to and while Iwas doing that stunt, but the
next time I experienced none.
And to me, if there's apressure, if there's such a
thing as a pressure situation,then it should reliably be a
situation that causes pressureevery single time anybody's in
it.
But there I am in thissituation where I'm coming out
the back of a moving vehicle,hitting the ground and rolling.
That should be, I would think,a situation that would qualify
(16:38):
as a pressure situation in mostpeople's minds.
Right With you know, thesefamous people watching and all
this money on the line?
Sure, but in one case it didand the other it didn't, and
that made me curious to explorethis a little bit more, didn't?
And that's that made me curiousto explore this a little bit
more and the way I conceptualizewe'll start with pressure is
pressure is the result of afocus on consequences, not even
(17:02):
the outcome, not not.
I'm focused on success orfailure.
It's the consequences of thatsuccess and failure.
In other words, it's the future.
It's imaginary, it's not evenreal.
That might be probabilistic.
You may be very highprobability that you are
absolutely correct that if youfail, those are the consequences
that are going to happen, andthat's fine.
That's neither here nor there.
(17:22):
But when we experience pressure, it's because we're focused on
those consequences.
And when we're trying toperform to our potential, we
can't be thinking about thefuture and we certainly can't be
thinking about the consequences.
Where our attention needs to beis on those task-relevant
things in the moment that createconditions for us to achieve
(17:44):
the outcomes that we want toachieve.
They don't guarantee that we'regoing to achieve them, but at
least creates conditions forthat.
So if we're experiencingpressure, by definition we're
focusing on the wrong thing.
And if we're focusing on thewrong thing, then we're not
performing as well as we can.
So that's pressure.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
I don't know if you want to break that down before
we go to stress or not.
Yeah, well, so how do youdifferentiate them from stress?
I like that, so it's where youput your attention.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Yeah, so stress is about the situation.
I use the for those who aretheory geeks out there, like I
am the transactional model ofstress, lazarus and Falkman, and
the idea there is that there'sa primary appraisal and then,
depending on the result of that,a secondary appraisal.
So the model basically saysthat if we experience stress,
it's because number one, webelieve the situation is a
(18:29):
threat, we perceive a threat,something bad might happen to us
.
We believe the situation is athreat, we perceive a threat,
something bad might happen to us.
And if we perceive a threat,then that secondary appraisal
kicks in and we ask do I havethe resources necessary to deal
with this situation effectively?
And if the answer is no, so Iperceive it as a threat and I
don't think I have the necessaryresources to deal with it.
Now I experience stress andit's a very uncomfortable place
(18:53):
to be.
But if at any, if either ofthose stages number one I don't
perceive the situation as athreat.
Maybe.
Instead, I perceive it as anopportunity, as a chance for
growth, as a chance fordevelopment, as a chance to
prove myself to somebody,whatever it is, but it's a
chance, it's an opportunity.
Well then I don't experiencestress.
Or if I do, perceive it as athreat, so, for example, coming
(19:16):
out the back of a moving vehiclethat's hit the ground, roll
that there's no other way.
It is an opportunity, but it isalso a threat, because there is
a very real chance of injury inthat situation.
So I can't, I can't just ignorethat it is a threat.
So then the next part comes inDo I have the resources to
handle it?
And my answer was yes, I dohave the resources to deal with
(19:40):
this.
I have the ability.
I have the physical, mental,emotional ability to handle this
situation effectively.
And so, once that perceptionhappens, stress disappears.
So stress is about the situation, specifically our perception of
the situation and our beliefabout our resources to deal with
that situation, whereaspressure is the result of our
(20:01):
consequences that we think aregoing to happen, our focus on
those, those, those consequencesassociated with either success
or failure, which I think isimportant, because people think
about pressure as focusing onthe bad things that might happen
.
But I could just as easily sayyou know what?
If I hit this presentation justright in front of this audience
, my career is on the fast track, my ticket's punched, I'm going
(20:26):
to be the next, whatever, thatalso creates pressure.
So if our focus is on theconsequences, particularly ones
that the stakes are high, thenwe're going to experience
pressure.
If we believe a situation is athreat and we can't handle it,
then we're going to experiencestress.
And they're not mutuallyexclusive.
One can can bleed over into theother, et cetera, and so forth.
(20:48):
But I do think that it's usefulto distinguish one from the
other and talk about themseparately.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
So how do you take care of yourself in this?
Because I keep thinking likewere you an athlete, or
obviously to be able to be astuntman and then now, to
understand something you know,work with the army for 10 years.
What's your own kind of processfor staying fit?
Or you know your own kind ofathletic journey to here?
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Well, I'll tell you, over the last decade or so, a
lot more stretching than I'veever done, in my entire life
because I'm 51.
And it's, you know, the bodyit's like the analogy that I use
is a rowboat.
So you got a rowboat and itsprings a leak, you know, fairly
early in life.
But it's pretty easy to get thewater out, but then the leak
(21:28):
starts to expand.
A little bit more, a little bitmore, and it starts to become
harder and harder to get thewater out until you've got a big
bucket and you're continually.
That's what I feel like I'mdoing right now is I stretch.
In the morning, I do a for realworkout that is preceded by a
warm up and followed up withmore stretching.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Sometimes I'll stretch again at the end of the
night, but it's a lot ofstretching and consistent
workouts in a lot of ways.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
So I'll take the kids to the trampoline park, I do
some workouts on Beachbody OnDemand.
I have a dirt bike that I'll goride.
So there are a lot of differentways that I try to keep my body
working.
I don't just do one thing.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
I'm sure that also helps.
Number one I get bored.
Number two is better for thebody.
I'm sure that helps yourmindset too.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Like your own mindset personally, like your own kind
of strategies for mindset.
What would you say Withfocusing on those different
things?
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Yeah, Like you know having other things, the
stretching, you know just whatare the things that you've got
like that have helped you getyour mindset to where it is
today, to be able to do thestuff that you do.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Oh, you know, I think that going back to that model
of stress where I've put a lotof work is on both of those
parts.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Number one is the situation a threat?
The answer to that might be yes, like I said before, and in
high-stakes situations often,that is, I mean, it's a
perfectly valid and correct wayof looking at it.
Yeah, this is a potentialthreat, but sometimes it's not
as much of a threat as we makeit out in our minds, so it can
(23:04):
be not so much making mountainsout of molehills, but it might
be making the Himalayas out ofsome mountains.
So it is a big deal but we'remaking it a bigger deal than
what it ought to be.
So that's one part where I'vereally tried to be more accurate
in my in my understanding ofthe extent to which whatever I'm
doing is an actual threat andagain, like I said, it doesn't
(23:26):
have to be a physical threat andthis is where my I personally
have social anxiety issues.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
I don't like going to parties.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
I'm an introvert, it's, it's just not part of so I
.
So for me, if you say, allright, we're walking into a
party, my perception is thatthere's a huge threat and there
really isn't.
So I've had to do a lot of workin that area of just the threat
assessment, but most of mystuff has been focused on that
next part of what resources do Ihave available to me to deal
(23:55):
with the threat when it happens.
So, even in those socialsituations, what resources do I
have?
Well, I have my physicalresource.
I understand how to, how to tuneinto my body and how to change
my breathing and muscle tensionto be more ideal.
I understand how to recognizemore quickly when I have
counterproductive thinking andhow to change it to more
productive thinking and to keepmy attention on the external,
(24:17):
which for me, is more important.
If I'm in a social situation,if I can keep my attention
outward, on other people, it'seasier for me than if I turn
inward.
Okay, emotionally, I canrecognize when my emotions are
starting to get out of controland I can take a little break or
step away.
Or do what when my emotions arestarting to get out of control
and I can take a little break orstep away or do what.
So it's about understanding andrecognizing those resources
that I have and using them tothe best of their ability.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Yeah, Well, one resource that I know, or two
resources you have, are your twobooks, which is Begin Again and
the Change.
So if there's like one thingfrom those books that you'd want
listeners to know about youknow it was like tips and tools
what would you say that would be?
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Well, the change?
I didn't write the whole thing.
I wrote one chapter within it,and it's a chapter on resilience
, and the main takeaway there isthat for resilience to happen,
we really need three things.
One is self-awareness, so wehave to be aware of what we're
doing, thinking, feeling.
Number two and this is where Ithink a lot of people skip over
it is acceptance.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Acceptance, not from the standpoint of acquiescing or
giving up, but acceptance fromthe standpoint of this is my
reality.
Yeah, this is how things are.
It may be pleasant orunpleasant, I may want to be
here or not, but it is what itis.
Yeah, rather than glossing itover or ignoring it completely,
we have to accept what is andthen we can take action.
Right, we can take steps.
(25:34):
So that's the main part of thechange Begin Again.
Utilize the Wisdom of Easternand Western Ideologies to
Achieve your Full Potential.
That's a book that I didn't setout to write it.
It just kind of was writtenthrough some work that I was
doing on myself.
It was a rough time in my life.
I'd gone through a divorce, Iwas having a hard time and some
of my coping strategies that Iused were to get up in the
(25:57):
morning, write in a journal andread, and I would read wisdom.
I read Marcus Aurelius, I readSeneca, I read the Bhagavad Gita
, I read whatever wisdomliterature that I could find,
both mean written not long ago.
Ryan Holiday's great.
Sam Harris is great.
There are some people like that.
But I would read a little bitand if something struck me, I
(26:20):
wrote it down on a sticky notewhich I have them over there
actually, and I keep them in aZiploc bag.
But I wrote it on a Ziploc, on asticky note, what it was that
struck me and how it it appliedto my life, and then I turned
that into a short essay.
There's only two, three hundredwords.
It's very short, read two,three minutes, and and that was.
(26:40):
I did that 183 times.
And there's the book.
So it's just, uh, it's a it'skind of a window into my own
your journey, yeah, through thechallenges that I had not
written for that purpose, butbut that's where the stuff was
generated from.
While I was reading, trying toimprove and understand myself
better, that stuff emerged.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Well, it worked.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Yeah, it absolutely did work, and I need to remember
that too, because this isanother lesson for anybody out
there If you find something thatworks, keep doing it.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Because what happens is it's like you get well, and
then you, you stop doing whatgot you into the place, that got
you to that good spot, and so II have to remind myself and
even put it in the calendar,especially now that I'm busier
than I used to be back then yeahI still have to sit and read.
I still have to write that is apart of what feeds me and I I
have to recognize that and maketime for it and I notice when I
(27:35):
don't.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
I know you have to maintain it.
You do notice it.
I always say that in ameditation it's a barometer, you
know.
So sometimes when it's a busyday or a busy schedule, then you
got to sit a little bit longer,even though you feel like you
you can't.
So uh, hey, if you ever getback to I feel like party end of
your journey, healing will becoming.
Visit me.
Or do some speed at rutgersuniversity, do some kind of talk
(27:55):
for one of our teams orsomething like that, and I would
love to do that.
I would love to do that that wascircle coming, full circle,
really what I told you before wegot on here like I.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
I swore I would never darken the door of another
school ever again when I leftrutgers.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
And here we are and here he is, dr brian height.
Here he is, yeah, so again.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
You just never know you never know what life's got
in store and that's exciting.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
It's super exciting to take a step, one at a time.
So where can people find you?
Speaker 2 (28:21):
uh, brian height.
Global b-r-i-a-n-h-i-t-e globalg-l-o-b-a-lcom.
Uh, you can find me on there.
You can send me an email, brian, at blobalcom.
You can schedule a discoverycall from the website.
But I'll tell you what.
If pressure and stress andsenses of overwhelm is something
that you regularly strugglewith, please reach out.
I've been there, I've gonethrough it.
(28:42):
I understand it's a hard placeto be.
If you don't have anybody whocan walk you through that,
please reach out.
Take a look at some of myprograms around stress and
pressure and motivation burnout,et cetera.
And, uh, I'd love to talk toyou.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Dr Brian height, I really appreciate you being here
and I and the invitations therewe're going to.
We'll definitely stay in touch,but I appreciate you being here
.
This was, this was great and uh, you know.
So if you like this, pleaselike uh, share and follow
(29:18):
wherever we are.
You know everything's atofficialdrpetecom and we will
see you all next week.
So until then, spread a littlekindness and stay well.
Hey, welcome back to On Air with Dr Pete.
I'm your host, dr Pete Economo,and, like always, we are here
today with some tools and tips,and today we have a wonderful
guest for you.
We are really lucky to haveBrian Haidt.
He is a modern day Renaissanceman.
He's doing things that no oneelse is doing, and he's blended
this high octane stunt work withsport and performance like.
(00:40):
So over 100 films and tvcredits and a screen actors
guild award for 24, as well as adecade of training us army
soldiers.
So this is a man who's actuallylived and thrive in these real
moments and is fascinated formore education in psychology,
and so he went on to get someadvanced degrees in sport in
(01:00):
organizational psychology.
So this combination ofperformance psychologists with a
battle tested experience ofprofessional stunt man.
So he is here to give you sometools and tips.
Brian, thank you so much forbeing here.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
I really appreciate you having me.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I'm looking forward to the discussion so tell
everyone, like you know, we youand I were talking so
organizational development,organizational psychology.
How did you make that decision?
Were talking so organizationaldevelopment organizational
psychology.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
how did you make that decision?
Well, the whole thing's kind ofa weird process.
I mean, it started where youare, at Rutgers.
It started when I was 20 yearsold.
I was halfway through college.
I went to college becausethat's what I was supposed to do
.
I mean, that was just theexpectation.
But I had no idea what I wantedto do and I was floundering, I
was struggling in collegebecause I couldn't figure out.
Okay, well, what am I?
(01:46):
What's next?
There's got to.
I'm supposed to get a job.
That's what I'm told is thenext part.
So what does that look like?
I couldn't figure out where Iwanted to work, and then I ended
up.
I had a friend who was thecompany manager of the Batman
stunt show at the Six Flags outthere in New Jersey great
adventure.
And I went out there and I sawthe show and I just that was it.
Man, I was, I was, I was from.
(02:08):
The explosions went off andmotorcycles took off and jumped
out of this thing.
I was, I was mesmerized and andI decided, right then, that's,
I wanted to do stunts.
I wanted to be a stunt man andbut I had no idea how to do that
.
Nobody does so, I, but I.
I knew the guy and so it tookme backstage.
I was able to ask theperformers how do you get this
job?
And they said well, you need toknow how to do this, this and
(02:30):
that.
And I learned those things,went to the audition, got the
job and and, and I did that showthe next summer and it was such
a phenomenal experience.
I don't know that I've had abetter summer in the rest of my
life other than that first one,because everything was new.
It was like you know the poemfrom the outsiders nature's
first green is gold.
(02:50):
So you got to stay gold.
It was all gold, it was all new, it was all fresh and and for
the first time I'd figured outwhere I belonged.
I felt like I had purpose anddirection and I wasn't just out
there struggling like I'd beendoing at Rutgers for two years.
So that was the good part.
The bad part was that then I hadto go back to school and
(03:13):
actually do things for a jobthat you know, because the only
reason I was there was to get ajob.
But now I'd found a job thathad nothing to do with school.
Yeah, I was failing everythingand I ended up dropping out.
Wow, my senior year I left withone semester to go Somehow or
another.
I passed the first semester.
I was not passing the secondsemester.
I left and I moved to.
(03:39):
Well, I did the show one moreseason there at Six Flags of New
Jersey and then moved to LA tobe a stuntman where they had the
same show.
Luckily I was able to get onthat Excuse me where they had
the same show.
Luckily I was able to get onthat and excuse me.
Um, and then link up with withjust some people who became my
well, very similar to college.
Really, it became my cohort,became my class, became my group
that I came up in the businesswith other other stuntmen other
(03:59):
stunt people.
Yeah, at that show.
I mean to this day that the guywho's the stunt coordinator or
was, because the show's over now, but who was the stunt
coordinator on stranger things?
second year director he's won acouple of Emmys for it.
I think he was there.
We were roommates for two and ahalf years.
There's another guy who'sworking with Christopher Nolan
now on his show odyssey thathe's busy filming.
He's the assistant stuntcoordinator on that.
(04:19):
I mean, I had a lot of theseguys that I came up with are
working on these big shows now.
So it was a great environmentfor me to learn and to practice.
But I did that and then, Idon't know, four or five years
after that, I, I just I realizedI missed learning and I decided
I wanted to go back and finishthe bachelor's degree.
But back then, you know, youcouldn't.
I couldn't just get on thecomputer.
I had to literally go 3000miles back to New Brunswick, new
(04:47):
Jersey, to to finish this thing, which I did, yeah, and got
that done and then continued onwith a master's degree in sports
psychology and a PhD inorganizational psychology, which
is, for those who don't know,it's just essentially sports
psychology for businesses.
Right, you know, how do you getthe most out of the people that
you're working with and createconditions for motivation and
and wellbeing and thriving andperformance?
So, um, but I never expected towork in either of those fields.
(05:12):
I was a stunt man and I lovedstunts and I wanted to continue
doing stunts and that was myvision.
I never expected to do that,but life does what it does and
the next thing you know, I foundmyself working for the army in
Washington as a sportperformance psychology
consultant.
Brand new program, again.
So cool to be part of somethingbrand new.
We were able to generate it, wewere able to create it and
(05:32):
really morph it into somethingthat was beneficial to soldiers.
It didn't start that way itstarted.
The conception of it was let'sput some soldiers in a classroom
, show them some slides and thenthey'll go out and just apply
the stuff on their own, andthat's not going to work.
And so what we did isincorporate a field aspect, so
we would teach them some stuffin the classroom and then go out
in the field with them and justbe in their training
(05:54):
environments with them, helpingthem work through these skills.
So I did that for a couple ofyears Life changed again, went
back to LA to do stunts againfor a while, and then life
changed again.
And then I went back to thearmy job, this time outside of
Nashville, which is where I'moriginally from and which is
where I am now.
And but at that time this isthe program had had branched out
(06:16):
a little bit.
So this time it was not justsport and performance psychology
, it was also resilience.
So it was about how do we takethese concepts and skills, which
weren't different.
They all came from atheoretical background cognitive
psychology.
They're basically the samethings.
But the intent was how do wetake these things and and and
(06:36):
use them just in all aspects oflife?
How do we take these conceptsand skills and benefit from them
when life throws the inevitablechallenges at us that it does,
regardless of where we are?
And I love that.
I gravitated toward thatprogram.
I moved up through the variouslevels there's level one, two,
three, four, up until primaryinstructor of those programs
traveled around the globe doingthat program in a different
(06:59):
basis around the world, and itwas a terrific experience.
I loved it and it came to anend, as all experiences do, and
then I opened my own businessBegin Again Performance
Psychology back then.
Now it's Brian Haik, global,thinking I'd be working with
athletes and performers,performing artists, which is a
forgotten population in thisarea, you know.
(07:20):
I mean, sports psychology forathletes is ubiquitous.
It's been around since the 80s.
Everybody knows about it, right, but in the performing arts
people don't know about it andnobody's really using it to the
extent and degree that theyprobably should in order to see
those benefits, just like theathletes do.
But I thought that's what I'dbe doing and I did that for a
little bit.
But then I realized, you know, Idon't, I want something bigger.
(07:45):
I want something bigger, I wantsomething broader.
I want to make an impact inwith more people, but in an area
that really leverages myexperiences.
And I didn't feel like theathlete and performing artist
realm of just the individualone-on-one traditional sports
psychology coaching was doingthat.
So now what I do is I've zeroedin on the high stakes
(08:06):
environments, high stakesperformance situations and the
five populations I work with arefirst responders corporate
people, educators and theathletes and performing artists.
So I've got five of those areas, because each of those five
areas operates in high stakesperformance situations.
When I say high stakes, I justsimply mean situations where the
(08:28):
consequences matter, where theconsequences are truly important
.
Doesn't have to be life andlimb.
Physical consequences can befinancial consequences, can be
social consequences, you know.
I mean just if I get this wrong, my relationship with this
individual might, might be gone.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Yeah, those are high stakes situations too, I love
that you talked about going backlike to expectation, like you
were expected to go to Rutgers,expected to get an undergraduate
degree.
I think listeners will reallybenefit from hearing that,
because what 18 year old knowswhat they're supposed to do for
the rest of their life?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Well, I don't know what 30 year old knows.
That's that's a great point, youknow.
You know.
I mean, if there's one messagethat can come out of my journey,
you just never know.
Just be open to opportunity.
I thought what the path andthis is.
I have a keynote on this too.
It's called Always on the Path.
Yeah, because I was so stressedout and so upset and I
(09:21):
experienced so much angstbecause I didn't know how to
follow the path that I wasexpected to follow.
It just didn't fit me, and myperspective now is that there is
no path except the one that wecreate with each step, in each
moment, in other words, thefront part of the path.
(09:42):
It exists like quantum wavefunctions.
It's just probability, they'rejust anything.
Exists as soon as we take astep, as soon as we take an
action, as soon as we observethe data you know from quantum
in that world, then realitykicks in.
So we create our paths.
There's no path that we'resupposed to navigate and follow.
There are.
(10:02):
There's just a landscape outthere of of wellbeing and
happiness and goodness and andthere are.
There's just a landscape outthere, yeah, of of well-being
and happiness and goodness, andand there are a lot of different
ways to get to go those peaksand valleys on that landscape,
but uh, but that's, that'sthat's.
I appreciate you bringing thatup because that is something
that, in terms of high schoolkids especially, they are so
(10:22):
nervous about the.
Am I getting the rightstandardized test scores?
Am I taking the right classes?
Do I have the rightextracurricular activities to
get into the college that I want?
Because if I don't get intothat college then I'm not going
to be able to go to the nextplace.
And then, once I'm in college,am I majoring in the right thing
?
Am I making the rightconnections?
Am I getting the right thingson my resume, because otherwise
I'm not going to get that job?
That's the next step on my path.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
It's just one step on the path and you know, what I
always say to clients is likeit's just one decision.
You know it feels like thebiggest decision of your life,
but it's just one decision.
Wait, I want to.
You also, in the beginning,talked about like this, this,
and that.
You know, like forgettingtraining.
To become a stuntman, there hasto be a listener who's like
(11:09):
what is like, what's one or two,what's?
Speaker 2 (11:10):
what came to my mind was like my therapy dog had to
learn how to sit, stay and leave.
You know so not.
I hate to make that metaphorfor humans, but like, what's the
distance in that for a stuntman?
Well, I mean for thatparticular show it was fights,
high falls and motorcycles, yeah, and I mean, high falls are
exactly what they sound like.
You fall from high stunt peoplehow does one learn?
Speaker 1 (11:19):
how does one learn to do that?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
well I luckily again, I knew the company manager so
he put me in touch with.
I was able to get one of theguys from the show to teach me
the fights and high falls, yeah,and.
And then the dirt bike.
I just got a dirt bike, Ibought one and I went out to a
place and just practiced until Icould ride it a little bit.
I was, I was not anywhere closeto being at the caliber that I
should be by the time the showstarted, but I was what they had
(11:43):
.
So it was what it was, um, butI got.
But I practiced in betweenshows and that was really the
benefit of that show for me wasthat in between shows.
That's where the goodness wellmost of the goodness happened
for me, because I was able tolearn the skills, practice
skills, talking about repelling,driving little ATV thing, the
motorcycles, the fights, thefalls.
There was so much that I waslearning in that summer and that
(12:06):
served me tremendously wellthroughout my entire career.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Which is a really decorated career.
I mean over 100 credits andit's really impressive.
I mean, what's that like foryou today to kind of hear your
intro and just know all thatyou've been a part of?
Speaker 2 (12:24):
yeah, it's.
It is a little surreal.
Yeah, would you put it likethat?
It's.
I remember you know it's funny.
Um, when I'm on set, sometimesthis occurs to me because I
remember the very first showthat I ever did, when I got my
screen actors guild card.
I was an extra on a movie callediq it had tim robbins, meg ryan
and walter mathau, and, and itwas filmed in princeton Jersey,
(12:46):
which is why I was on it.
They needed college kids and Iwas at Rutgers and so they hired
me to be on that show and whatI remember is being in awe of
the director Like I was.
You know, I was just an extraas the director, and the
director is this big thing and Iwouldn't even deign to approach
the person.
I just I wouldn't even deign toapproach the person, I just
(13:07):
wouldn't.
And now I have conversationswith the director regularly and
it's not a big deal.
And there are some stuntcoordinators who, when I first
started my career, were justgilded in gold and I've got one.
His name's Doug Coleman.
He's one of the biggest stuntcoordinators second directors in
the business.
He's coming out to Nashville hemight be here now.
(13:29):
As a matter of fact, he'scoming out the next couple of
days to work on a show and heand our buds we're just going to
go.
We're going to go watch somemagic together at uh, at this
place, and if somebody had toldme 30 years ago hey, you're
going to be hanging out withDoug Coleman and uh and just
doing some card tricks with him.
I'd have told them they werecrazy.
So it is a little bit weird.
The progression.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Well, you put the work in.
It didn't just land at your lap, that's for sure.
That's what I'm hearing.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
No, not even a little bit.
It's a long journey, asanything is to get from one
place to another, and it's anunexpected journey.
To go back to what we weretalking about before, there was
no path, there was no.
I have it all lined up andthere are milestones along the
way and I need to hit thismilestone and then that one, it,
it, it morphed and changed.
As I mentioned, I moved.
(14:10):
I moved across the countryseveral times, I went in and out
of stunts a few times, I'm backin stunts.
I still do stunts to this day,for the third time in my life
after taking the breaks with thearmy.
So yeah, yeah, it's just it is.
It is a long path, but it is anunpredictable path.
It does take a lot of work, butyou don't know what that work
(14:31):
is going to be.
Necessarily at the beginningyou just have to be open and
ready.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
And take that next step.
So mental barriers you know asa performance coach, I wonder
did you have your own mentalbarriers?
Or like what are some commonmental barriers you see in
people that are at this likehigh stake performance positions
?
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Yeah Well, pressure, pressure and stress, I think,
are the two biggest ones, and Ithink they are just, in my
opinion, the most misunderstoodones.
So I like to distinguishbetween the two.
Some people conflate them.
Some people they just talkabout pressure and stress like
they're the same things, and Idon't think they are Right.
Some people they just talkabout pressure and stress like
they're the same things, and Idon't think they are.
(15:08):
And this really came after somesearching of myself, while I was
on set doing a job and I wasthinking about this and somebody
said I don't know whatever theconversation was you got to be
able to perform well underpressure or whatever.
And it just this flag went up.
I was like, wait a minute, isthat right?
I don't think it is, so Istarted thinking about it.
We don't need to perform underpressure, nor should we perform
(15:32):
under pressure.
Pressure is not a helpful thingand it's an indicator that our
attention is in the wrong spot.
Right, and I'll talk about thatmore in just a little bit.
But I think it's a, again, amisunderstanding of the
situation.
I think that the and I don'tthink there's such a thing as a
pressure situation.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
This came to me as well, because I was.
I was working on a show where Iwas coming out the back it was
the Righteous Gemstones in thenew season that's coming out and
I was driving in this truck andthe back of the truck popped
out and I was supposed to comeflying out the back, hit the
ground and roll.
Well, I had done essentiallythat same thing on another TV
(16:16):
show 20 years earlier, but inthat show I experienced a ton of
pressure prior to and while Iwas doing that stunt, but the
next time I experienced none.
And to me, if there's apressure, if there's such a
thing as a pressure situation,then it should reliably be a
situation that causes pressureevery single time anybody's in
it.
But there I am in thissituation where I'm coming out
the back of a moving vehicle,hitting the ground and rolling.
That should be, I would think,a situation that would qualify
(16:38):
as a pressure situation in mostpeople's minds.
Right With you know, thesefamous people watching and all
this money on the line?
Sure, but in one case it didand the other it didn't, and
that made me curious to explorethis a little bit more, didn't?
And that's that made me curiousto explore this a little bit
more and the way I conceptualizewe'll start with pressure is
pressure is the result of afocus on consequences, not even
(17:02):
the outcome, not not.
I'm focused on success orfailure.
It's the consequences of thatsuccess and failure.
In other words, it's the future.
It's imaginary, it's not evenreal.
That might be probabilistic.
You may be very highprobability that you are
absolutely correct that if youfail, those are the consequences
that are going to happen, andthat's fine.
That's neither here nor there.
(17:22):
But when we experience pressure, it's because we're focused on
those consequences.
And when we're trying toperform to our potential, we
can't be thinking about thefuture and we certainly can't be
thinking about the consequences.
Where our attention needs to beis on those task-relevant
things in the moment that createconditions for us to achieve
(17:44):
the outcomes that we want toachieve.
They don't guarantee that we'regoing to achieve them, but at
least creates conditions forthat.
So if we're experiencingpressure, by definition we're
focusing on the wrong thing.
And if we're focusing on thewrong thing, then we're not
performing as well as we can.
So that's pressure.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
I don't know if you want to break that down before
we go to stress or not.
Yeah, well, so how do youdifferentiate them from stress?
I like that, so it's where youput your attention.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Yeah, so stress is about the situation.
I use the for those who aretheory geeks out there, like I
am the transactional model ofstress, lazarus and Falkman, and
the idea there is that there'sa primary appraisal and then,
depending on the result of that,a secondary appraisal.
So the model basically saysthat if we experience stress,
it's because number one, webelieve the situation is a
(18:29):
threat, we perceive a threat,something bad might happen to us
.
We believe the situation is athreat, we perceive a threat,
something bad might happen to us.
And if we perceive a threat,then that secondary appraisal
kicks in and we ask do I havethe resources necessary to deal
with this situation effectively?
And if the answer is no, so Iperceive it as a threat and I
don't think I have the necessaryresources to deal with it.
Now I experience stress andit's a very uncomfortable place
(18:53):
to be.
But if at any, if either ofthose stages number one I don't
perceive the situation as athreat.
Maybe.
Instead, I perceive it as anopportunity, as a chance for
growth, as a chance fordevelopment, as a chance to
prove myself to somebody,whatever it is, but it's a
chance, it's an opportunity.
Well then I don't experiencestress.
Or if I do, perceive it as athreat, so, for example, coming
(19:16):
out the back of a moving vehiclethat's hit the ground, roll
that there's no other way.
It is an opportunity, but it isalso a threat, because there is
a very real chance of injury inthat situation.
So I can't, I can't just ignorethat it is a threat.
So then the next part comes inDo I have the resources to
handle it?
And my answer was yes, I dohave the resources to deal with
(19:40):
this.
I have the ability.
I have the physical, mental,emotional ability to handle this
situation effectively.
And so, once that perceptionhappens, stress disappears.
So stress is about the situation, specifically our perception of
the situation and our beliefabout our resources to deal with
that situation, whereaspressure is the result of our
(20:01):
consequences that we think aregoing to happen, our focus on
those, those, those consequencesassociated with either success
or failure, which I think isimportant, because people think
about pressure as focusing onthe bad things that might happen
.
But I could just as easily sayyou know what?
If I hit this presentation justright in front of this audience
, my career is on the fast track, my ticket's punched, I'm going
(20:26):
to be the next, whatever, thatalso creates pressure.
So if our focus is on theconsequences, particularly ones
that the stakes are high, thenwe're going to experience
pressure.
If we believe a situation is athreat and we can't handle it,
then we're going to experiencestress.
And they're not mutuallyexclusive.
One can can bleed over into theother, et cetera, and so forth.
(20:48):
But I do think that it's usefulto distinguish one from the
other and talk about themseparately.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
So how do you take care of yourself in this?
Because I keep thinking likewere you an athlete, or
obviously to be able to be astuntman and then now, to
understand something you know,work with the army for 10 years.
What's your own kind of processfor staying fit?
Or you know your own kind ofathletic journey to here?
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Well, I'll tell you, over the last decade or so, a
lot more stretching than I'veever done, in my entire life
because I'm 51.
And it's, you know, the bodyit's like the analogy that I use
is a rowboat.
So you got a rowboat and itsprings a leak, you know, fairly
early in life.
But it's pretty easy to get thewater out, but then the leak
(21:28):
starts to expand.
A little bit more, a little bitmore, and it starts to become
harder and harder to get thewater out until you've got a big
bucket and you're continually.
That's what I feel like I'mdoing right now is I stretch.
In the morning, I do a for realworkout that is preceded by a
warm up and followed up withmore stretching.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Sometimes I'll stretch again at the end of the
night, but it's a lot ofstretching and consistent
workouts in a lot of ways.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
So I'll take the kids to the trampoline park, I do
some workouts on Beachbody OnDemand.
I have a dirt bike that I'll goride.
So there are a lot of differentways that I try to keep my body
working.
I don't just do one thing.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
I'm sure that also helps.
Number one I get bored.
Number two is better for thebody.
I'm sure that helps yourmindset too.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Like your own mindset personally, like your own kind
of strategies for mindset.
What would you say Withfocusing on those different
things?
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Yeah, Like you know having other things, the
stretching, you know just whatare the things that you've got
like that have helped you getyour mindset to where it is
today, to be able to do thestuff that you do.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Oh, you know, I think that going back to that model
of stress where I've put a lotof work is on both of those
parts.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Number one is the situation a threat?
The answer to that might be yes, like I said before, and in
high-stakes situations often,that is, I mean, it's a
perfectly valid and correct wayof looking at it.
Yeah, this is a potentialthreat, but sometimes it's not
as much of a threat as we makeit out in our minds, so it can
(23:04):
be not so much making mountainsout of molehills, but it might
be making the Himalayas out ofsome mountains.
So it is a big deal but we'remaking it a bigger deal than
what it ought to be.
So that's one part where I'vereally tried to be more accurate
in my in my understanding ofthe extent to which whatever I'm
doing is an actual threat andagain, like I said, it doesn't
(23:26):
have to be a physical threat andthis is where my I personally
have social anxiety issues.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
I don't like going to parties.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
I'm an introvert, it's, it's just not part of so I
.
So for me, if you say, allright, we're walking into a
party, my perception is thatthere's a huge threat and there
really isn't.
So I've had to do a lot of workin that area of just the threat
assessment, but most of mystuff has been focused on that
next part of what resources do Ihave available to me to deal
(23:55):
with the threat when it happens.
So, even in those socialsituations, what resources do I
have?
Well, I have my physicalresource.
I understand how to, how to tuneinto my body and how to change
my breathing and muscle tensionto be more ideal.
I understand how to recognizemore quickly when I have
counterproductive thinking andhow to change it to more
productive thinking and to keepmy attention on the external,
(24:17):
which for me, is more important.
If I'm in a social situation,if I can keep my attention
outward, on other people, it'seasier for me than if I turn
inward.
Okay, emotionally, I canrecognize when my emotions are
starting to get out of controland I can take a little break or
step away.
Or do what when my emotions arestarting to get out of control
and I can take a little break orstep away or do what.
So it's about understanding andrecognizing those resources
that I have and using them tothe best of their ability.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Yeah, Well, one resource that I know, or two
resources you have, are your twobooks, which is Begin Again and
the Change.
So if there's like one thingfrom those books that you'd want
listeners to know about youknow it was like tips and tools
what would you say that would be?
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Well, the change?
I didn't write the whole thing.
I wrote one chapter within it,and it's a chapter on resilience
, and the main takeaway there isthat for resilience to happen,
we really need three things.
One is self-awareness, so wehave to be aware of what we're
doing, thinking, feeling.
Number two and this is where Ithink a lot of people skip over
it is acceptance.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Acceptance, not from the standpoint of acquiescing or
giving up, but acceptance fromthe standpoint of this is my
reality.
Yeah, this is how things are.
It may be pleasant orunpleasant, I may want to be
here or not, but it is what itis.
Yeah, rather than glossing itover or ignoring it completely,
we have to accept what is andthen we can take action.
Right, we can take steps.
(25:34):
So that's the main part of thechange Begin Again.
Utilize the Wisdom of Easternand Western Ideologies to
Achieve your Full Potential.
That's a book that I didn't setout to write it.
It just kind of was writtenthrough some work that I was
doing on myself.
It was a rough time in my life.
I'd gone through a divorce, Iwas having a hard time and some
of my coping strategies that Iused were to get up in the
(25:57):
morning, write in a journal andread, and I would read wisdom.
I read Marcus Aurelius, I readSeneca, I read the Bhagavad Gita
, I read whatever wisdomliterature that I could find,
both mean written not long ago.
Ryan Holiday's great.
Sam Harris is great.
There are some people like that.
But I would read a little bitand if something struck me, I
(26:20):
wrote it down on a sticky notewhich I have them over there
actually, and I keep them in aZiploc bag.
But I wrote it on a Ziploc, on asticky note, what it was that
struck me and how it it appliedto my life, and then I turned
that into a short essay.
There's only two, three hundredwords.
It's very short, read two,three minutes, and and that was.
(26:40):
I did that 183 times.
And there's the book.
So it's just, uh, it's a it'skind of a window into my own
your journey, yeah, through thechallenges that I had not
written for that purpose, butbut that's where the stuff was
generated from.
While I was reading, trying toimprove and understand myself
better, that stuff emerged.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Well, it worked.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Yeah, it absolutely did work, and I need to remember
that too, because this isanother lesson for anybody out
there If you find something thatworks, keep doing it.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Because what happens is it's like you get well, and
then you, you stop doing whatgot you into the place, that got
you to that good spot, and so II have to remind myself and
even put it in the calendar,especially now that I'm busier
than I used to be back then yeahI still have to sit and read.
I still have to write that is apart of what feeds me and I I
have to recognize that and maketime for it and I notice when I
(27:35):
don't.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
I know you have to maintain it.
You do notice it.
I always say that in ameditation it's a barometer, you
know.
So sometimes when it's a busyday or a busy schedule, then you
got to sit a little bit longer,even though you feel like you
you can't.
So uh, hey, if you ever getback to I feel like party end of
your journey, healing will becoming.
Visit me.
Or do some speed at rutgersuniversity, do some kind of talk
(27:55):
for one of our teams orsomething like that, and I would
love to do that.
I would love to do that that wascircle coming, full circle,
really what I told you before wegot on here like I.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
I swore I would never darken the door of another
school ever again when I leftrutgers.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
And here we are and here he is, dr brian height.
Here he is, yeah, so again.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
You just never know you never know what life's got
in store and that's exciting.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
It's super exciting to take a step, one at a time.
So where can people find you?
Speaker 2 (28:21):
uh, brian height.
Global b-r-i-a-n-h-i-t-e globalg-l-o-b-a-lcom.
Uh, you can find me on there.
You can send me an email, brian, at blobalcom.
You can schedule a discoverycall from the website.
But I'll tell you what.
If pressure and stress andsenses of overwhelm is something
that you regularly strugglewith, please reach out.
I've been there, I've gonethrough it.
(28:42):
I understand it's a hard placeto be.
If you don't have anybody whocan walk you through that,
please reach out.
Take a look at some of myprograms around stress and
pressure and motivation burnout,et cetera.
And, uh, I'd love to talk toyou.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Dr Brian height, I really appreciate you being here
and I and the invitations therewe're going to.
We'll definitely stay in touch,but I appreciate you being here
.
This was, this was great and uh, you know.
So if you like this, pleaselike uh, share and follow
(29:18):
wherever we are.
You know everything's atofficialdrpetecom and we will
see you all next week.
So until then, spread a littlekindness and stay well.
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