#25: Alex Cristal - The Power of Solitude, Chasing Side-Quests, and “Soulmates” - One Thousand Gurus Podcast

Episode Transcript
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J.R. (00:00):
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of 1000
Gurus with me, your host, jrYonacruz.
So today's guest is AlexCristal.
Alex Cristal was on Kamamodernfrom 2010 to 2014, being a
coordinator for the last twoyears he was on the team.
He was also on Culture Shock LAfrom 2014 to 2024.
He's an HVAC parts specialist, ajiu-jitsu amateur and a welding

(00:23):
amateur.
He also enjoys long walks atthe beach, solo dates at
Disneyland and has an AMC A-listmembership.
So he's an avid moviegoer andhe also works out a lot Like
he's in peak physical form.
Just imagine a 5'5, 5'6Filipino, greek god and he goes
to the gym an impossible ninedays a week in order to achieve
those results.
I'm not lying.

(00:45):
Check out his Instagram.
You won't see anything tovalidate any of those statements
.
Anyways, this episode was somuch fun probably the most fun I
had recording an episode andit's probably because Alex and I
go back 15 years or so when wefirst joined Copa Modern as
newbies, and I think we're bothabout 18 years old.
We have similar values andhumor, as you can tell that we

(01:06):
just get each other and we lovejoking around with each other.
But this recording was not onlyfun but also very insightful as
we cover topics like the powerof solitude, the power of
building a community, knowingoneself, the concept of time,
understanding our own emotionalstates and what role we play in
people's lives and what rolesthey play in ours.
Overall such a deep conversationthat rejuvenated my soul in

(01:27):
many different ways and I admirethis guy so much and hopefully
we can do a part two with someof the gang our newbie class
sometime in the future.
So, without further ado, hopeyou enjoy this episode with Alex
Crystal.
All right, Alex, welcome to theshow.

Alex (01:43):
Thanks for having me, man, nice you are the second Alex
I've.

J.R. (01:45):
Welcome to the show.
Thanks for having me, man.
Nice, you are the second AlexI've had on the show, so I had
to update your brief with Alex CCool.
Just a fun fact, you're alsoone of I feel like half of my
guests are either like Filipino,fema content creators, gay
dudes, and you might fit into acouple of them.
Stop, I'm sorry.
We've known each other for awhile and we're really weird and

(02:06):
you might fit into a couple ofthem.

Alex (02:07):
I'm sorry.
We've known each other for awhile and we're really weird.

J.R. (02:10):
I think half of my humor comes from my modern first year
with this dude and all of ouroldies and super oldies that
were just so out of pocket.
And I'm like I guess this is mylife now, but anyways.
So, yeah, thanks for being here, alex, let's see.
Yeah, we go way back.
I'll just go into how I knowyou.
So we met in 2010 when we bothjoined couple modern.

(02:30):
I just had arnell on the showthis as of this, recording his
episode's going live tomorrow ormonday, so that was like my
favorite episode.
Don't tell anyone else, but itwas my favorite episode yeah, I
know like it's like it's almostexpected for his to be one of my
favorites, but to see it and belike, wow, I could go for four
hours.

Alex (02:50):
So his was really good.

J.R. (02:51):
So we met on Cover Modern, our newbie year, first year.
We were both first year, sameage, and that was 2010.
And we danced for about threeyears on Cover Modern and then
since then you know like we seeeach other every couple years
usually it's for june anotherguest of mine, usually for her
life events, so like her goingaway or coming back or
graduating or getting married,whatever.
So it's great to be able to seeyou every so often.

(03:13):
And, yeah, our annual holidayparties and whatnot, and I know
you're up to a lot of differentthings and we'll get into our
topics.
But, yeah, any clarificationson that?

Alex (03:23):
no, dude, it's.
I know it's been.
We don't see each other often,but I know every time we do link
up it it's like time has passed.

J.R. (03:31):
But yeah, time has not.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alex (03:34):
So it, first of all, it's just an honor to be here,
because I rarely think, dothings like this and being asked
to, I guess, talk to youraudience about whatever it is
that you're interested in orjust who I am.
It's like an honor and apleasure to be here, so thank
you.

J.R. (03:52):
Yeah.
Yeah, pleasure is also mine too.
I was telling a lot of peoplethat usually my podcast guests
are half the time.
It's we're just catching upbecause I want to reconnect with
some of my old friends.
But also, like I was tellingJesse right before this, it's so
crazy how a lot of myparticularly my Cobble Modern
class and all the people I'veknown through them and other

(04:12):
dancers and whatnot in theIrvine community but it's crazy
to see how, 10, 15 years later,how crazy our life journeys have
been and how far everyone'scome obviously you included.
But I guess, looking back, asan 18 year old, I didn't expect
my class to have achieved somany cool things and have done
so many cool things and to lookback and be like, wow, what is

(04:32):
it about all of us dancers whojust do this shit for fun?
But then we have these crazylife adventures, something that
I want to learn about, which iswhy I have you guys on the show.

Alex (04:49):
And just to see, to connect the dots and hopefully
share that with the audience.
To me that's been like a reallylike big pleasure and honor for
me.
So yeah, yeah, dude, I think,going on that topic, or that
mind wrestling of, like us beingdancers, yeah, achieving or
just doing things.
I think I can like brag, brag Idon't know if that's a word,
but do it say this, but dancersare very in tune with really who

(05:09):
they are, physically,emotionally.
So I think also, just theexploration of um yourself in
terms of music, in terms of art,makes you more, maybe possibly
more prone to exploring, more tolife.
Yeah, and I think that's why thepeople that you have on this
podcast, or even our class orthe people that you're

(05:30):
interested in learning, havedone so many different things
because they are very much wellin tune with who they are, again
in all different types oflevels.

J.R. (05:40):
So I think that's great man yeah, I like that, and
something I talked about withandy as well andy ho, like I
think it's also on top of thatis like the mindset that we get
from our mentors, our oldies,the people who guide us, that
somehow, I seem, it seems likeit translates a lot into
whatever else we do in ourcareer paths, our life journeys
and stuff like that.
That I feel like have served mepersonally very well and I feel

(06:01):
like it served a lot of us welltoo yeah, so I think that I
can't understate the importanceof being in an environment like
that, where you're so inspiredto hit the next level and I
always tell people in like compteams at this but if you feel
like you're, the newbie comes in.
You're like man, I'm the worstdancer here.
That's the right room to be in,right because that's how it
feels like you're, like I feelso inadequate and imposter
syndrome, but that's set you upfor the most growth because it's

(06:25):
a sweet spot.

Alex (06:25):
That's a sweet spot because you don't want to be in
a room where you're the best andit's like you're in the wrong
room isn't there like a quote,where it's if you're smart, if
you're the smartest person inthe room, you're on the right
room?

J.R. (06:33):
exactly that's what I'm referencing yeah, so I felt I
think for me call modern wasthat was like I was in the.
I was in the right room for solong and that set me up for
everything else, and I feel likeit's the same for a lot of us.

Alex (06:45):
Oh, that's a great point because before I joined Cobb
Modern there were differentteams I wanted to try out for
right.
There was like Common Ground,especially Common Ground since I
was on Underground right I feltCobb Modern was the place that
I felt was like I can grow themost out of you, you know, and
even when you were talking aboutthe people that you can
outsource with.

(07:05):
I think that's also a big reasonwhy I joined Cobb Modern,
because the alumni base, what Isaw, what they did after Cobb
Modern, was like wow, they'restill doing big things not to
say that other teams don't dothat, but I do know, or I saw a
lot of inspiration and ambitionthat the alumni had, or
different types of people thatI'm like wow, even after Call of

(07:26):
Modern, they were still doingthings that I also would like to
pursue or even just beinterested in.
They had a great, strongfoundation of the team or who
they were.
On Call of Modern and alsoafter, I was like wow, this is,
this would not set me up, but Ithink this would be a trajectory
of growth that I could seemyself grow in into a person
that I would like to be.

(07:46):
Right, yeah.

J.R. (07:48):
Call of.

Alex (07:48):
Modern did that for me, I think.
Definitely.
I agree with that too.

J.R. (07:52):
And I'll say on that note you know, joining as newbies and
being in that class of look, Ifeel like I'm the worst.
So disclaimer Alex was the bestof the worst.
So of our class of like 12people, he was at the top of the
food chain.
Man, I was literally at thebottom, like this motherfucker.
You were not at the bottom, Iwas.
Clearly I could do a backflip.
That was it that's how I got atthe bottom but alex was at the

(08:13):
heat choreographed pieces as anewbie.

Alex (08:16):
I was like this motherfucker, I gotta catch up
to him, I do appreciate that,man, but what I do want to kind
of throw it back at you.
I always what I did reallyadmire about you, dude, is that
you were always working and Ithink I took a lot from that,
where I mean especially like you, saya, of course, everyone else
in our class but youspecifically I would always see

(08:39):
you working on your craft and Ithink that also inspired me to
be like dude jr's putting work.
I should also put in workbecause you're the side like
always freestyling or creatingor doing whatever it is that you
wanted to get better at,especially again your mindset of
oh man, I need to pull up, Ineed to keep up with my class or
my oldies or everyone else forturners.
That I think I also sawinspiration with that where damn

(09:02):
JR's also putting in so muchlike work on the sides or any
single downtime that JR hadworking on the sides or in the
Crawford small mirrors that wehad.
I think that was like a takeawaythat I saw from you is that you
would always work, and I thinkthat was like one of my
mentalities of we can probablyget into this with later on in

(09:23):
the podcast where, in terms ofinfluence, but I think one of my
biggest mottos is don't letanyone outwork you, especially
in that kind of environment, andI don't think that not to say
that I outworked everyone, butit was, I think, to a point
where I wanted to work as hardas, let's say, you, saya can.

(09:45):
We also worked super hard andeveryone else that was part of
our class that I just saw crazywork ethic that I wanted to also
implement in my dailyrehearsals or outside of
rehearsals or things like that.

J.R. (09:56):
So dude, thank you, yeah, no, thank you for the the kind
words I appreciate that, yeah,man and and I guess we'll go on
more of a modern tangent, but Ialso attribute that like our
work ethics and where we learnthat from, specifically from
like our oldies and super oldies, because I remember watching
right, we go onto the team andwe're like why are these people
so amazing?
And you watch them.
And you watch someone likeDarren, who's like already

(10:16):
talented, a dancer,choreographer, freestyler, and
he's still working the hardestand he's our director, our
coordinator, and we working thehardest, and he's our director,
our coordinator, and we're likeokay.

Alex (10:27):
Well, if this dude is working hard, what am I doing on
the?

J.R. (10:29):
sides, right, man.
So, yeah, it's the environmentthat we're in that I feel like.

Alex (10:31):
Again, I think it lends to where we are at life now, or
our mindsets on how we achieveor approach things for sure, and
I think I also relate to thattoo, where I knew that, of
course, not everyone is going towork hard, but I knew that the
people that didn't work as hardI was like I don't want to be a
person that I knew that, not tobe labeled as a lazy person or

(10:57):
anything, but I just knew that Iwanted to work just as hard as
the hardest worker in the room,of course, and that was again,
again, darren, a couple of ouroldies, um, returners, even like
our class.
That yeah, you saw that, ofcourse, and also even being a
newbie, you have to work hard insome environment.
But there's another level thatyou had to push, because there
was times where I think some ofour class didn't work as oh yeah

(11:20):
, for sure, but it's likenewbies, you guys are fucking up
.
Yeah, it's not me.

J.R. (11:24):
I promise, like I know my piece dude, like I've not slept
in three days I've just beendancing.
Yeah, I know it's beenpracticing.
I see my bed.
I'm like no, I gotta dance onthe side right, dude, right,
yeah, yeah, oh my gosh.
Some good times, man.
Yeah, all right, real quick.
Before we get to the firsttopic, solomon, I sent a couple
of links late in the email.
We don't't have to get to it,but if we do, if you're able to

(11:45):
play it I know you're doing alot of things, but they're just
Alex's videos I've got to sendit.
Oh my gosh, yeah.

Alex (11:50):
We don't have to get to it .
I know it's a lot, but if he'sable to, I sent it, but anyways,
all right.

J.R. (12:01):
So first was, I guess, paint a picture for our audience
.
What was it like growing up foryou, your household, where did
you grow up?
And then what were, like, themain influences that led to
where you are today?

Alex (12:11):
For sure, man, I think the main influence that I really
had in life well, I grew up inSouthern California right, Still
live here but the biggestinfluence I had was my family.
That was huge staple andfoundation of who I am today and
how.
I'm the youngest of threesiblings me, my brother, my
sister and I just saw it waseasy for me to follow quote

(12:35):
unquote in their footsteps.
But also I just had thatinfluence of them to see what
they did and either take fromthat or learn from quote unquote
their mistakes, whatever it isthat they felt that they didn't

(12:55):
do right or also did right, butI knew that my brother and my
sister were the people that Ilooked up to first, maybe second
, because my parents were thefirst people I looked up to
first, and I don't know.
Man, it's just like a blessingwhere my family was just very
loving and very thoughtful.
I really had no quote unquote,like real issues or trauma with

(13:16):
my family.
I mean natural, regularsiblingship and things like that
.
Regular family stuff yeah butit's nothing to the point where
I thought that I had to fix orpossibly go to therapy about it.
Yeah right, so luckily, I'vebeen very blessed with a family
that's very loving, verysuccessful in ways that I can

(13:38):
look up to and be like man.
That's the type of people thatI want to be.
Yeah, so that was like thefirst major major influence that
I thought of who the person Iwanted to be.
Yeah, so that was like thefirst major major influence that
I thought of who the person Iwanted to be is looking out to
my family, especially like mybrother, my sister and my
parents.

J.R. (13:53):
Yeah, cool I know like maybe I know you've done a lot
of different things and likecareer path might not be like
one of our main topics, but likegrowing up what was kind of
like your life.
I don't want to say purpose,but what was your direction.
What were you like?
Okay, I'm elementary school,middle school, high school.
What were you?
What were your aspirationsaround those times growing up?

(14:13):
Oh man, I wanted to be a nbaplayer.
Okay, why'd you do it?
You got the right.
You know like you can sing.
Well, just go for it.

Alex (14:25):
Shoot for the stars, chase your dreams no, I really wanted
to be a nba player.
That was like the first dreamthat I had.
I think also, basketball wasthe first love that I understood
like what love was besidesloving my family yeah outside of
family.
Basketball was the thing that Iwas driven and motivated to be
because I knew I had a naturaltalent for it.

(14:46):
Like I would play travelbasketball when I was in fourth,
fifth, sixth grade, like go toIndiana, go to Vegas, arizona,
san Diego, florida yeah, to playbasketball on his travel team.
And I think it also got to apoint where my parents wanted me
to possibly go to thePhilippines To play there like

(15:07):
in their league.
Yeah, to train and play there,because I believe one of my
uncles used to play thingscalled the PBA Filipino
Basketball.

J.R. (15:16):
Association.

Alex (15:17):
So they were thinking of me possibly going there.
I was also supposed to go toMater Dei for basketball, but I
went to true high school.
That's a different story, yeah,but going back to it, yeah.
That was my first drivenmotivator of achieving a dream
that I had as, like a kid, is tobe an NBA star.

J.R. (15:38):
So how long were you doing like basketball at that sort of
level or intensity?

Alex (15:42):
I was doing that until probably until high school okay,
so like from elementary, likewhat, yeah, like maybe sixth
grade to not sixth grade beforethat third grade to eighth grade
.
I believe yeah, that was like aI wouldn't say like real
possibility, but it wassomething that it could have

(16:03):
happened.
If that was something that Iwould push for.
But as a kid man, you know likehow would.
How do you really know?
Maybe some people have thatinnate with them that they're
like dude.
I have to do this and yeah,it's circumstances too where I
know a lot of nba players haveagainst situations where dude I
need to make it out of thispoverty situation where I need

(16:25):
to really work hard and be thistype of person.
But and not to say I didn't havethat but at the same time I
didn't know as a kid if thatwould be a possible like
trajectory of a career or a lifethat I really wanted.
Because, you know, if myparents asked me like hey, what
do you think about going to thePhilippines to play basketball?

(16:46):
As, like a sixth grader, I'mlike I want to be with my
friends.
It's like how do you really makethat decision?
Or how'd like that thinkprocess of thinking what 30 or
20 to 30 years into that future,as like a sixth grader or a
fifth grader.
It's like tough have so but noyeah, that was my first real
motivator to be and be a star.

J.R. (17:07):
Yeah, I like that um, so I guess a couple of things.
So then, so what was like yourshift?
I guess focus, going in, out ofhigh school, going into college
, so that's one thing, or we cango into this other question,
and it's a weird question, butI'm just curious your thoughts,
but it's if you had to giveyourself like a title, identity,
mission statement, or like, howwould you self-identify?

Alex (17:28):
yeah, I think in terms of the first, maybe I'll answer
both.
The first shift, I think, waswhen I was in high school.
I don't know what happened,maybe I do know, but I lost the
love of basketball.
I think being maybe putting toomuch pressure on these
expectations of myself ofwanting to be the best or I need

(17:50):
to do this X, y, z.
I just didn't felt like that wassomething that I really wanted
to do anymore, and I thinkthat's why I took up dance,
because that's something that Ifelt that was pulling my heart
towards more instead ofbasketball.

J.R. (18:06):
When you met Kobe, did anything change?
Did you want to go back tobasketball?

Alex (18:10):
Oh man, that was such a fun.
I mean in college, I think,when you're not playing at a
really high level, I'm like man,this dream's probably dead.

J.R. (18:22):
It's dead, it's in the ground, you know.

Alex (18:24):
Yeah, Even in high school too.
If you're not, I mean yes, youcan work super hard and do all
the things correct.
I think if you're a star inhigh school and you're getting
recruits from colleges, I thinkyou would know.
You would know at that point,you would yeah, but during high
school I wasn't recruited oranything like that.
I still knew I had a naturalability to play basketball, but

(18:48):
again, I was thinking of more ofthe list of things that might
not make me like successful inthe nba.

J.R. (18:58):
Like my height what you know, alex, you're like six,
seven, like we.
Yeah, if you're watching, ifyou listen to the audio, he's so
tall.
If you're watching the video,don't watch the video, just vfx.

Alex (19:09):
Just extend his torso no, yeah, I mean, of course there's
like exceptions like mugsy bows,I think he was like five three
uh, so I think that was also, uh, maybe a huge motivating factor
.
But yeah, during high school Ijust knew at the time yeah, I
don't think the nba life or evenjust basketball pursue as a
career something that I reallywanted digging deep down.

(19:32):
I really wanted yeah for myfuture yeah, cool, we do have
the videos.

J.R. (19:37):
Thank you, solomon.
So on that note, so he shiftedfrom basketball to being a crazy
dancer so I guess, we can play.
Play one of the next videos,let's see.
So alex is one of the Filipinodudes, if you just look
carefully.
I'm kidding.

Alex (19:54):
There's a lot of Filipinos on stage, that's true, you're
at the blue right.

J.R. (19:57):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alex (19:58):
Hey, that's you too.

J.R. (19:59):
That's why I picked this clip.
Oh, you're right, and we'reboth in this, hey, oh, get it,
and that's your brother.

Alex (20:06):
That's right man 2011.

J.R. (20:09):
Wait, did you work up?

Alex (20:12):
this yeah me and Young.

J.R. (20:13):
Oh, you and Young.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right,that's right.
Hey, can I put you in thispiece?
No, because you hated me.
Remember.
I did not hate you.
You're, like thismotherfucker's, the bottom of
the food chain.
He's not going in my piece, ohman.

Alex (20:28):
I did not hate you, man, yeah, but that's funny.

J.R. (20:31):
Yeah, second video we good , oh no.

Alex (20:33):
Keep going?
Okay, yeah, but anyways, thanksfor playing that.
Yeah, no, no, yeah, throwback,right, yeah, I forgot, I got one
more I'm going to set it up ina second.

J.R. (20:45):
It's all good, yeah, it's crazy that you found it man, I
think it's because I rememberedthat you hated me.
That's why I blocked it out.
Oh, here's more Alex's choreo.

Alex (20:56):
Another piece I didn't put you in Broccoli, right yeah?

J.R. (20:57):
because Alex fucking hates me, this guy's trash 2010.
I was even looking if I was inthe back of this piece and I was
not no well, I did learn it.
I learned this piece Over.
I did learn it.
I learned this piece.

Alex (21:10):
Over time, I loved you man .
Thanks, you were in 300.

J.R. (21:14):
It's not where we start, it's where we end up.
I remember every time thispiece would live rent-free in my
brain, just your choreography.
I actually honestly, I didreally love your choreography
because it always made sense ohthanks, man.
Thanks, choreography is cool,but I really like when

(21:34):
choreographers match like theintention, the words, the music
to the movements and that'sthere's like a magical sort of
like combination of those thingsthat you can tell when you like
someone's style, and so Ireally always liked your style
thank you man.

Alex (21:47):
Thank you, I appreciate that too bad, I was never in
your piece so I could neverenjoy the stage you were in.

J.R. (21:53):
300 invented sex those were to do, to do a flip.
No, that's why I'm on the team,man, just to do fucking
backflips oh, that's funny allright, okay, so we got that out
of the way.
Oh yeah, any thoughts on thelast thing, which is like how
would you self-identify amission statement?

Alex (22:10):
that's a tough question.
I don't know specifically likea mission statement.
I just, I think, live by themotto, couple mottos of leaving
something better than you foundit, or another blurb that I
think about is I don't know if Ibelieve in like a heaven or
hell, but if there is a heaven,it is here and you can, wherever

(22:31):
that you interact with, make ita heaven for them.
So, yeah, I just try to be askind and nice and, again, be the
best version of myself.
I think that's like a blurb ofmy mission statement of life.

J.R. (22:47):
Yeah, I can see that.
I think that's completely true.
So next topic is like aconglomeration of things but
hobbies, side quests, solitudeand community.
I felt like those kind oflumped together but maybe I was
forcing it.
But you mentioned concept oftime in quotes.
I would like to know what thatmeans or what direction.

Alex (23:07):
Oh man, I think I have a love and hate relationship with
time.
I think even just watchingthose videos, it's like the time
has passed so long and you kindof just think where did the
time go?
And it always wraps in my headof again how fragile time is,

(23:31):
how relentless time time is, howunforgiving time is, and even,
like what you did yesterday,felt like it could feel so new,
but it could also feel likeyears ago.
Um, and yeah, I'm trying to dobetter, as in staying present in
the time right now, likepresent, being as present as

(23:51):
possible, but I do have a mentaltug of war of looking back in
the past and looking to myfuture, of how I can use my time
the best that I can, timemanagement or xyz, because I
think everything, for me, themost essential asset that you
can have in life is time.

(24:14):
For me you can always gain moremoney.
Lose money right you can.
Health-wise, yes, there'sdifferent circumstances with
health, but friends, family, buttime, it always marches forward
, it doesn't stop.

J.R. (24:25):
It's a finite resource.
Yeah, man you can't renew it.

Alex (24:27):
Yeah, it could bend.
There's a quote forInterstellar, one of my favorite
movies Time can bend, it canslow down, it could be fast, but
it never stops.
And that's a thing that I am, Idon't know so wrapped in my
head about is again the conceptof time and also just I don't
know, maybe I'm like suffocatingin my hands of how to be like

(24:50):
uberly efficient with everythingso I can free up my time with
this and that or, and I'm using,I need to use like I need to
use my time wisely so my futurecan look like this, or even
looking back at the past, it'slike man, did I use my time like
the best that I could in thissituation and did I lose time?
Because I me.

(25:11):
One of my biggest pet peeves iswasting time, because, again,
it's like a finite resourcewhere you can't get it back.
That does sometimes dictates thethings that I do when I, before
I maybe go into maybe a socialevent or commit to maybe a new

(25:32):
career or whatever it's like,will this be worth my my time?
Can I use my time more wisely?
Because, at the end of the life, whenever that is, I don't want
to think that I didn't maximizethe time that I used here in
this physical vessel right now.
So, yeah, I think that's like ahuge thing for me where it's

(25:56):
again, like you said, a finiteresource that I constantly think
about of, again, like beingpunctual or being, yeah, using
your time as wisely as you can,but also trying to stay as
present as I can, becausesometimes, for me, when I lose
time, I get very fearful andthen I get very anger these

(26:18):
qualities of myself that I don'tlike.
It's like, oh man, I'm wastingtime, right, like in traffic,
pet peeve, traffic.
I'm like I'm wasting time likeI could be doing something else.
Luckily, though, we live in aworld where I can listen to
podcaster music, but, yeah, man,time is a huge thing that I
just constantly, constantlythink about.

J.R. (26:37):
I like that, I like those reflections.
One thing that it made me thinkof was there's like that Tony
Robbins quote, where it's liketime is an emotion Meaning you
know, in a differentinterpretation, like you know
how time can feel very fast andit can also feel very slow, yes
Right.
Like the waiting room of ahospital, can feel really slow.

Alex (26:55):
Yeah.

J.R. (26:56):
With someone you enjoy, it could be like over in an
instant.

Alex (26:59):
So it's like an emotion, Right Correct.

J.R. (27:05):
So like I was thinking about that too and one of the
things I've talked about withpeople before is like I, but in
some instances some people say,wow, where did the years go?
Where did 2024 go?
Because it feels like it justhappened in an instant, Whereas
some people can be like, wow, myyear was so filled it felt

(27:25):
longer than it was compared toother people.
And so one of this concept Ilearned is it's a strategic
thing where you purposefully domore novel things in your life,
meaning when you do the tedious,monotonous sort of stuff, time
collapses so it feels like itjust went away like that.
But when you fill your life withthings and activities that are
more novel, that you can anchorin time, oh yeah, I did this big
trip in March and then, oh, inJanuary I did this other thing,

(27:48):
and then in April was mybirthday, and then in December
we had this thing, and then inApril was my birthday and then
December we had this thing.
So now time is now expanded,because you've had so many
things, anchor points, in yourmemory.

Alex (27:56):
So now your, your year feels more full.

J.R. (27:58):
And that's one of the reasons why I do my yearly
reviews with all the things I'vedone.
I take photos, I put who I'mgrateful for and all these like
achievements.
So when I look back, my futureself can look what did I do in
2022?
Oh, I did a bunch of shit.
Like that expands my year andit makes me feel like I have
more time, right, man?

Alex (28:15):
right, yeah, I think that's a great point is to do
things that make you feel sofulfilled that when you do look
back, it's like, man, I use mytime wisely, right, and uh, I
mean I even I'm trying to dobetter at this.
But I know, recently I just Iactually just came from like a
trip, like a.
I went to l to London and Paris, oh, cool, like last week, yeah
, with great amazing people,just for fun.

(28:36):
Yeah, I mean, we watchedJustice in London.
What's Justice?
You know the French.
Djs.

J.R. (28:45):
Oh, it was like a concert.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay,okay.

Alex (28:48):
We went there to watch them in London, and then we just
wanted to go to Paris.
But, kind of going back to likeconcept of time.
It was that was like usefultime that I like to use my time
for Well spent, right yeah.
This too.
This is time that I'm gladlyI'll be able to spend as again
like reconnected with oldfriends.

(29:08):
Yeah, I don't know, man.
It's a crazy concept where youlook back on all the years, like
even looking back at these likevideos.
Where did the time go?
And next what?
12, 13 years probably meet upagain like dude, remember this
podcast.
Yeah, yeah, of course, right,it's uh I don't know man I even
think that it's so crucial to do, I don't know not everything in

(29:33):
a timely manner too, but somany tv shows, so many
industries rely so much on time.
I used to.
Well, I haven't finished theshow yet, but I've seen the show
the bear have you heard aboutit.
It's about a bear it's aboutlike a cooking kitchen a bear
cooks like no, no, but it's likea cooking show or not a cooking

(29:55):
show, but it's like the theirenvironment in like a kitchen
and one of their main, I think,mottos is every second counts,
and especially in the kitchen,every second counts, right, and
I think in a lot of tv showsreality tv shows, like game
shows it's like time and um, oh,cooks, you have one hour to

(30:17):
make this meal.
Or like, uh, designers, likeshows, like fashion shows, it's
always time.
Because whenever I think oftime, it's like I hear a lot of
people always say, man, I wish Ihad more time.
Right, there's so many movies,there's so many books, there's
so many friends that I have likeevents that I couldn't go to
because I didn't have enoughtime.
And I do think a lot of Quoteunquote successful people use

(30:44):
their money for time Right Buyback their time somehow.

J.R. (30:46):
Yeah, yeah.

Alex (30:48):
Of course, if you have the money, you put up your own
company, you hire employees, soyou don't have to do the work,
outsource some of that stuff,yeah.
Or you have someone drive foryou, right, you have a limo not
a limo driver, but like aspecific driver, or a maid or
whatever it is, so you have moretime to do things that are
maybe important.
More important I mean not tosay that those things aren't

(31:09):
important, but things that couldexcel in a way that you feel
that you could use more time for, and I always think about that
where it's can I use my timemore wisely, how efficient I can
be, and what will again make my.

J.R. (31:27):
When I look back, how would I feel putting time into
this thing and I think that'sjust something that I just
always, always, constantly thinkabout, sometimes maybe a little
bit too much, you know, causeit's like so meta thinking about
how I'm using my time spendingtime thinking about it.

Alex (31:43):
No, yeah, man, like it's, like it's even as simple as like
scrolling through Netflix.
I'm like man, do I want to pickthis?

J.R. (31:55):
Cause it's an hour and 30 minutes of my time and then like
the next two hours figuring outhow I can spend the next two
hours.

Alex (31:58):
Yeah, I feel it.
Yeah, man, that's a, it's aconundrum I'm trying to figure
out.
But yeah, I think it's goodthat I'm a self-aware.

J.R. (32:02):
Oh, for sure, yeah, okay.
So I have a ton of questionsand we're running out of time
but so so here my next three,whichever ones you feel like are
called to you the most.
So first one is hobbies and sidequests so whatever that means
or what kind of direction thatyou might go for that.
The second one is solitude anddoing things on your own, like
how that is important or whatthat has played in your own life

(32:24):
, in your own journey.
And or three, being a part of acommunity and like how does one
build or find their owncommunity?

Alex (32:31):
and then any important lessons on that, oh okay, a lot
of different topics that I cango into first, I think, being in
solitude and doing things onyour own, it's easy for me I can
say this because I don't havekids, right, I don't have a
girlfriend that you know ofthat's true, that's true I was

(32:51):
gonna say joke it's okay anyways.
But yeah, dude, I don't havethose specific responsibilities
that I have to.
It's not have to, but to usetime for those things that fill
up in my weekly, monthly, yearly, like responsibility, right.
So for me, I like to do thingsa lot on my own and this kind of

(33:14):
goes into hobbies, where I liketo go to disneyland by myself a
lot, I like to go to the moviesby myself a lot, go to
different events, go to kind ofdate yourself.
Yeah, go to lunch, dinner,breakfast, go to the beach.
I think that hopefully,audience members that, if you
see this, have like their ownintrospective, introspective

(33:37):
reflection of what makes you dothe things that you like to do,
what makes you want to do thosethings, like why you want to do
those things, and I think beingin solitude and being by
yourself really helps youanalyze what probably makes,
like, your spirit come alive, orwithout any peer pressure or

(33:58):
outside influences that mayaffect your decision making of
things that you want to pursueRight, and I think that also
goes into side quests andhobbies.
Also goes into side quests andhobbies, like when I was doing a
lot of things for myself, Itook up I haven't done this in a

(34:18):
while, but I took a jiu-jitsu,took up welding not great at
those things, but I think thoseare like side quests in life
that I decided I wanted to do,not that I knew anyone else did
it, but because I think I knewyou were interested very
interesting.
Yeah, and when you do spend timewith yourself, you read a a lot
of books, a lot of articles, alot of different things, kind of
just gather information withoutouts.

(34:39):
Yes, those are influences, butnot to say that having friends
won't influence you or wouldinfluence you.
You tend to have a differenttype of processing of
information when you are byyourself and do things on your
own to decide where you want togo, take your next step in

(35:01):
whatever it is that you want todo.

J.R. (35:03):
I think that's important too, cause I think that's one of
the things I also admire aboutyou and I feel like a lot of the
audience can take away is theimportance of solitude, I guess
is what we're saying, because Ithink a lot of people I think
it's fair to say that they'rescared of being alone and they
feel like they need to do thingswith people go to the movies
with someone or go to Disneylandwith someone and stuff like

(35:24):
that.
But I think there's inherentvalue for the audience who that
sounds very uncomfortable, totry to lean into that, because
you will introspect more, youwill find out more about
yourself and when you have lessof those external pressures,
like you said, and you're ableto pursue those interests from
an unadulterated, non-filteredversion of yourself yeah I feel

(35:44):
like you can find more deepfulfillment and self-awareness
on that yeah, absolutely, and Ithink also a big thing that I
have done in the past is likezero social media, for let's
just say, try for like a dayyeah

Alex (35:56):
all right, and then try for a week, and try for a month,
and then try for three monthsand see where really like how
you tend to go about your day orgo about these things that you
might not be like influenced bybecause, of course, we're very
connected on social media yeah,it's like oh man, this person's
do this, it'll be fun.
Oh man, my friends are doingthis?

J.R. (36:17):
this would be great, yeah right.

Alex (36:18):
But when you don't for me, when I don't have those type of
downloading those things ontomy mind, you, I for me I really
tend to think like, okay, thisis actually what I might be
interested in, let me just goand try to do it without anyone
else's um thoughts, which is, Ithink, a good thing.
Could also, you know, be alittle bit different for other

(36:40):
people, but yeah, that's how Ilike to operate is just try to
not feel a societal pressure ofme doing certain things because
everyone else is doing itExactly.

J.R. (36:51):
Find out whatever it is that you're like itching to do
you know that is one of mydreams is to be completely
disconnected off of social media.

Alex (36:58):
Like literally one of my princess dreams is not ever
having to open Instagram orFacebook or anything.

J.R. (37:03):
Unfortunately, unfortunately, like the way my
life is set up, it's likemessaging and it's yeah get
things done and I'm on a I'm ona college team so I can't get
off of it.
But that is my goal for thenext few years is to get off
social media yes, I mean, Ithink kind of going into this
too, like lead waiting to.

Alex (37:20):
This other part is I think social media is great for
community, man, of course.
Yeah, you know you have a greatcommunity that I see you always
posting and always showing loveto.
That's something that I feel Ihope that someone or anyone
listening to this, or whoevereveryone in their life has a
community and like a villagethat they could go back on.

(37:40):
And for me it's like, first myfamily, right, it's like modern
class that, yes, I rarely see,but I can always connect with my
culture shock dance team thatI'm still very connected to even
though I'm not on the teamanymore, that I can always feel
like I'm a part of somethingthat again, like inspires me to
be a better version of myself orfind inspiration that I want to

(38:04):
live a type of life with thesepeople around me, you know.
And community, I think it's likea huge thing to have.
Yes, we're here by ourselves,like in terms of like you living
your own life and youspearheading the things that you
want to do.
But if you can find a communitythat has a like-mindedness to
you and again makes you more ofwho you are, that's like golden

(38:29):
man.
You know, it's huge to havethat because, as much as you can
do like introspective work anddo things for yourself, for me,
having community to reflect allof those things and to show me
sides of me that I maybe did notknow or knew but I didn't want
to go through or go into andhelp me be the person that I am,

(38:52):
is like above and beyond, morethan I could ever ask for.
Find whoever is listening tothis.
You can find like a communityfor yourself, whether that's
again dance community, gamingcommunity, I don't know.
Whatever it is that you findthat has a foundational that
again, to make you a person thatyou want to be, a better person

(39:15):
, the most optimal self for you.
Yeah, I think people should tryto find that man.

J.R. (39:20):
Yeah, nice, I like that it's like the power of solitude,
but also the power of community, that's right, that's your
headline, that's my missionstatement yeah, pretty much all
right, let's move on to thisnext topic, which is
understanding p-e-m-s and soulmade.
So I thought this wasinteresting because I think we
talked about this kind of in ourlast thing what is so I wrote

(39:42):
this down physical, emotional,mental and spiritual well-being,
yeah, so I guess, if you wantto get into, how did you come
across it?
Or like, what is this conceptand how, how has it affected
your life?

Alex (39:51):
yeah, the first when I first came across this was
culture shock.
I think it was during 2020,maybe 2021, when we were not
dancing.
Yeah, meetings, we had a lot ofdifferent rehearsals.
Talking about our own, likewell-being and.
PEMS.
I think we call it PEMS,p-e-m-s.
It really got me to think how Ievaluate my physical again, my

(40:14):
emotional and mental, myspiritual.
Physical is verystraightforward, yeah, like, how
are you feeling physically topdown, from like your head all
the way down to your toes?
Emotional is I kind of go likemental first.
Yeah, from, this is how Idefine it.
Other people maybe define itdifferently, but mental, I think
it's like how you go aboutmaybe your life or your

(40:36):
mentality of the things that youwere doing.
Right, it's like, oh man, Iwant to be better at this.
I want to have be better atdance, be better at my career.
I want to like do all thesethings.
I think it's a great mentalityto have.
And then I think that reflectsback onto your emotional.
Or like, how do you feelemotionally about your mentality
?
Yeah, you could want to bebetter at your career, but is

(40:57):
that making you like emotionallyexhausted, right?
So I think having mental andemotional things are kind of
like coincide in some ways.
And to me, spiritual it's uh,well, make sure your spirit come
alive, like I think I'm notsure if a lot of dancers are
watching this, but it's thatmoment before you go on stage.
For me, that's what my spiritis like the most alive.

(41:20):
Or even going before, like inmy car, before going to the
podcast.
It's like that excited, nervousfeeling that you have.
It's like man, I know my spiritis alive.
So what are those things thatyou do in life that makes your
spirits blossom?
And I always try to do my bestto evaluate p-e-m-s, my p, in

(41:42):
terms of how I'm doing overall,my well-being.

J.R. (41:45):
Feels like a check-in for yourself.
These are the gauges themetrics or whatever.

Alex (41:49):
Yeah, and of course again fluctuate up and down, right as
the days, the weeks, the yearsgo by.
But yeah, I think, for me it'slike maybe every week, every two
weeks, yeah, every two weeks orso.
I just try to evaluate.
Right now I'm on a physicalpillar where I'm just pumping
iron and working out a lot.

J.R. (42:06):
You know it's funny.
I was just thinking about man.
Alex is so buff as fuck he'scut.
He doesn't have a lot of fanservice photos on his Instagram,
but for any single ladies, youcan just use your imagination on
what's underneath his shirt.

Alex (42:21):
Thank you.
Thank you, JR, for that plugman.

J.R. (42:24):
I appreciate that top of the food chain.
He's so cut.
You know what I mean.
He loves long walks atdisneyland by himself, but you
could be his number two if youwant, oh man single riders only
at disneyland.
That's really yeah, this isthis is just for me, man I just
want to get on, get off.
Use my time wisely.
I don't need no second personto hold me back, bro this line

(42:44):
is two hours long single writers30 minutes.
Come on right, dude.

Alex (42:47):
Right, I'll meet you outside when we're no, but yeah,
I'm really on the physical.
I'm really taking care of, like, my physical dimensional realm
right now and I think, why areyou?

J.R. (43:00):
laughing exactly.

Alex (43:02):
Go ahead, super serious uh , but no, in terms of like.
The overall like topic thatwe're talking about is, yeah,
that's like what I view as whatI hope everyone can reevaluate
is their pams man like againwhat is their physical, what is
their emotional, mental,spiritual well-being?
in terms of daily, or even interms of your relationships with

(43:23):
work, your relationship withyour friends, your ambitions, if
, and yeah, of course, like somethings can be emotionally
exhausting, but is it like worthit to pursue this?
The mentality can be great, butagain, is it like exhausting
enough for you that you're likekind of destroying yourself
emotionally, or even physicallyor spiritually, that it's is it

(43:45):
worth it?

J.R. (43:46):
Is it worth it, yeah, yeah .

Alex (43:47):
So I always just try to reevaluate all those things in
my life and again shout out toculture shock because that was a
big thing that I learned andfelt that it was like important
for me to understand.

J.R. (44:01):
I like that.
Last thing on this topic issoulmates, so I know this can
probably go deep, but this isthe last question for this
section.
So what do you mean bysoulmates?

Alex (44:11):
Yeah, I don't necessarily believe in soulmates.
I think we talked about this atthe sign Justin's Place, right.

J.R. (44:16):
So that single girl who's watching this, he doesn't
believe in you too.
I'm sorry.

Alex (44:24):
I'm just trying to play hard to get right now.
That's my, that's my game rightnow.
So in my wedding I'm gonna belike you know, I didn't believe
yeah, I didn't believe it, butbut as for right now, I do not
believe in a specific soulmate,that someone can cater to
everything that you might belooking for as a partner.

(44:46):
We did talk about this, too,where I read this somewhere and
I think I talked about this witha friend of mine.
I think there's four differentkind of mates that you can have.
There's a playmate, someonethat you can do activities with,
have super amounts of fun Maybethat's festivals or going to
movies whatever events and stuff.
Yeah, then there's a mind matewhere you can talk

(45:08):
intellectually with yeah,different conversations about
anything and everythingintellectually soulmates.
I think it's someone that youcan be like, super intimate with
, almost like a romeo and juliettype of like honeymoon phase
that you're like feeling thatconnection with.
And the last one, hold onSoulmates, mind mates, help

(45:31):
mates, okay, someone that willhelp you to achieve the goals
and kind of in unison with eachother.
So let's say, achieving yourgoals of raising a kid or buying
a house, or helping you in yourcareer that you want to achieve
, or any goals that person thatcan help you with.
And don't get me wrong, ifsomeone, if whoever's listening,

(45:53):
if you found that someone,great, right.
But I don't know, if I don'tknow if I can say that there is
that one person that checks allthose four boxes they could
check three, they could checktwo, but or I don't know if I
necessarily believe that even ifthey do check all those four,

(46:13):
like all those four boxes, maybeone of them is like not as
prominent or not as like intenseas someone else, and not to say
that they're not the rightperson for you, right.
But I don't necessarily believeall those four mates can be in
one person that someone might belooking for in terms of a match

(46:34):
, like made in heaven.

J.R. (46:36):
Yeah that idea when you brought it up has been like
living rent free in my headreally I thought about that.
A lot like that makes a lot ofsense, because I've now I've
been evaluating my relationshipsor friendships and kind of like
what role they play.

Alex (46:47):
Yeah.

J.R. (46:47):
Because some of I mean a lot of people I invite on this
podcast are like I feel likethey're like mind mates or
people who I've had these deepconversations with, and that and
that's what it makes a lot ofsense.
It's like someone that you liketo have fun with, or like you
go to events, do things together, helpmate.
I guess that makes sense tooyou didn't cover that one last

(47:09):
time but someone that like Idon't see, maybe it could be
like a rival, but notnecessarily, but someone just
helps you to do things andthere's just people in your life
who are always there to helpand you help them yeah, yeah and
then soulmate.
Obviously it's like the mostobvious one, but that makes a
lot of sense.
So it's and I was thinkingabout that in relationship sense
, which is I was talking to andybefore like off off camera,

(47:30):
which is like there I feel likein terms of we're talking about
marriage because you know he gotengaged recently, that's right
of like girlfriend, wife andpartner, of like the mother of
your children, or something likethat and how, in my brain and
this might not even be the rightway to conceptualize it, but I
see it as there are, let's say,they're job titles, that there's

(47:51):
like a list of duties,responsibilities or
characteristics that each ofthem have, but they're not
necessarily all overlapping.
Someone who might be a goodgirlfriend could also be a good
like mother, but not a good wifeor vice versa.

Alex (48:04):
And guys do obviously switch.

J.R. (48:05):
So I was thinking about that.
So, yeah, maybe someone doesn'tcheck all those boxes, maybe
they do.
And the same thing with thewhole the mate sort of idea,
where they could check all ofthem.
They could not.
But it's a weird.
It's a really good way to thinkabout it when you think about
these relationships what role dothey play?
What do they have and what do Ihave, and what do I have and
what role do I play too?

Alex (48:23):
Right.
Yeah, I also am trying tounderstand that too.
I think it might just be aperfectionist version of me.
You're like man, I want to beall of this for someone.
But I don't think that couldever be the case.
Again, there's different typesof people that I know, that we
talk to or that about.
They're like man, I can have acrazy intellectual conversation,
but I would never go to a ravewith him.

J.R. (48:43):
yeah, yeah, exactly or vice versa, or one right.

Alex (48:46):
Yeah, it's like man, I could have so much fun with you,
but I can't have, I can't talkwith you I can't talk with you
friends, I appreciate you.

J.R. (48:52):
Yeah, we're not gonna talk yeah, and that's totally fine.

Alex (48:55):
it's totally fine, yeah, totally fine, and like, I think,
a relationship sense it's uh, Idon't know if, again, I've been
single for a long, long time soI might be jaded in terms of
thinking that there is oneperson for me.
But, yeah, I don't necessarilybelieve that everything can be
encapsulated with this personfor you and I think that's also

(49:16):
okay.
You know, if you can find someagain, if you can find someone
that hits all those those marksat a specific range I'm looking
at this like a data can be likethat, but right.
But it's like, if you can findsomeone like that, that is, you
can see a future with that, youcan have fun with that, you can
help each other, be the bestversion of yourselves, then,
yeah, like that can be yourquote unquote soulmate.

J.R. (49:36):
But I don't again believe that there's like a perfect
person there's, it's all thatthat's just waiting for you.
Yeah, yeah, and if there's, agreat, yeah, perfect.

Alex (49:47):
If there is a perfect person, then it might not.
Why are they talking to you notto cut you off?

J.R. (49:58):
I saw this one this last one real too, on instagram,
where it was another podcastwhere he was like best
relationship advice list out allthe things that you would love
to have in a partner, likecharacteristics, values,
principles, etc.
And then be that person yeahright, so it's putting it on you
, not the.
I'm looking for my knight inshining armor or whatever, but
it's like why don't you just bethat?
Because why would that knightin shining armor want to be with

(50:19):
you?

Alex (50:19):
yeah, dude, exactly, and I always I mean this is kind of
going to back in ourconversation about solitude,
right, it's like you think aboutthe person you want to be and I
always think who would be theperson I would want to date.
Yeah, right, so exactly.
I think that kind of relates toyeah, let's not all those
things and be that person,because that person will again
be attracted to that and you'llfind someone.

(50:39):
Hopefully you find someone thatwill be that for you.

J.R. (50:43):
Yeah, exactly, yeah yeah, all right, any last thoughts on
that topic?
My soulmate is out there, I'mhere you know, I just said I'm
not, I don't think so muchexists but if you exist, let me
know.
But I am here and I'm ready.
I'll be at Disneyland.

(51:04):
Check me out.
On the single riders I'll be atDisneyland.

Alex (51:07):
I'll be at AMC.
I'm an AMC A-list member.

J.R. (51:11):
You know what's funny is, if I was single, I probably
would be with you, because I doall those things myself too.
My criteria for finding agirlfriend was like if she's
down to movie, hop with me atAMC, that's already like a green
flag, right man?

Alex (51:21):
hop with me at amc, like that's already like a green flag
, right man?
Yeah, I haven't found thatperson yet that's.

J.R. (51:24):
That's a.
That's my first date.
It's usually a movie date, eventhough it's weird, but it's
because I like watching movies.
So if you don't like watchingmovies, we can't have this,
can't happen no, that's a bigpoint for me too.

Alex (51:33):
Having, I think, playmate is like a huge thing for me.
I think that's like a hugeagain, a staple for me, and what
I would like in a relationshipis to have like fun and to do
all those things together.
Yes, all those things areimportant.
But yeah, man, yeah, what areyou doing after this?
Yeah, I was about to say to youlike yeah.

J.R. (51:55):
so if you are a mind mate, he's not looking for you.
He just wants a girl to shut upand just have fun.
I'm just kidding.
Disclaimer oh my, he just wantsa girl to shut up and just have
fun.
I'm just kidding disclaimer ohmy god, it's so out of pocket.
I love it.
Yeah, same, all right, rapidfire, you ready?
Yeah, in the spirit of time, Ifeel like it's just flown and
we're already over or like we'renot over, but we're like at the
edge.

Alex (52:15):
Yeah, yeah, so yeah, I appreciate it billboard question
.

J.R. (52:20):
If you could put up a sign for millions of people to see,
what would it say?

Alex (52:23):
I have a couple, but maybe I'll just stick with one.
Yesterday you said tomorrow.
So then, no, I think.
I saw like half of a sentence Ithink I saw, like on a Nike
thing, like yesterday, you saidtomorrow, so anything that
you're like ah man, I'll dotomorrow maybe I'll do it later.

(52:43):
No, you said tomorrow, so do itnow.
Whatever you're thinking about,whatever that's like on your
mind that you have an interestin, just do it now, man, like.
Time waits for no one.
Do it now, I like it.
Yesterday you said tomorrow.
That's what I think.

J.R. (52:56):
I would put.
I feel like I've with someclose friends of mine.
I'll say like pretty much thesame thing and it's that hard
accountability that is like, oh,it bothers me, it bothers them
so much because I'm like so youwant to do these things, why
haven't you done it?
I'm your friend, I care aboutyou.
I'm going to ask you thisquestion.
I like that, though, you're agood friend man, Thank you.
Not a lot of people agree, butthey don't like that

(53:20):
accountability.

Alex (53:20):
Yeah, it's probably the stuff that they don't want to
hear, but they need to hear.
Exactly, yeah, which is like areflection of themselves, of
course.

J.R. (53:27):
Continue All right.
So what is one of the hardestchallenges you faced in?

Alex (53:30):
you learn from it okay, I'm gonna keep this short but I
can go for a while.
I think I told you about this.
I got hurt in a job, yeah, so,uh, for everyone that doesn't
know, I used to work in hvac andrefrigeration and long story
short islands, by haddon beach.
I was up checking the rooftopor the ceiling for a leak,

(53:52):
slipped and fell off a ladder.
Yeah, felt like seven to eightfeet or so.
Yeah, broke my back, broke partof my back.
Didn't need surgery, but I thinkfrom that experience because I
was like resting for a while-and it was maddening to me
because my whole life all I knewis how to produce physically
right like basketball, likefirst 15 years of my life, like

(54:14):
physical production right 15 tomaybe 30 dance, like that's how
you produce value.
So I think when I was hurt,like that was probably my most
serious injury, is trying toreevaluate and or rewire my mind
into not overthinking.
Oh man, I need to be back onthe field so I can produce, so,
so I can like have value.

(54:34):
So I think that was like a hugelesson of mine of not being so
hard on myself to not produce ina physical manner.
Yeah, I like that, yeah.
Especially my mindset of what Ifind value in not the physical
sense.

J.R. (54:50):
Yeah, not just that.
Yeah, all right, self-inflictedwound.
Do you have a story aboutsomething that's gone wrong in
your life that it is your ownfault and you can't blame anyone
else?

Alex (54:59):
probably the story that I just told you know, like the,
when I got hurt I was like man,did someone like push this
ladder to one of like theislands workers?
Like push this like ladder, oryeah?

J.R. (55:11):
put me in his piece.
It was you.
I saw the.
I saw the tape.
I wanted to be in broccoli Isaw the tape.

Alex (55:19):
No, yeah, like was the ladder.
I was thinking like was theladder like wobbly, but I didn't
want to.
Those I think was were likeinitial thoughts because I don't
like just trying to find areason yeah, of like this, this
traumatic experience, but Idefinitely put it was like put
blame on myself, like yo, thiswas me, whether it was an
accident like not said it onpurpose, right, but whether it

(55:42):
was like just a freak accidentthat just happened.
This is my own doing and I needto kind of go through it and
figure out what, how I can moveforward from it.
Like I'm okay now I'm totallygood, but I think during that
time it was just like reallyhard to find.
I didn't want to blame I.
I came to a point where Ididn't want to blame anyone but

(56:02):
myself, right, yeah, yeah damn70 feet.

J.R. (56:06):
That's scary dude yeah, dude, yeah man, I'm already
scared of heights.
I rock climb and I'm like Ilook down.
Wait, I just remembered I'mscared of heights.
What am I doing?
It's exposure therapy, right?

Alex (56:14):
yeah, that's crazy.

J.R. (56:16):
Yeah, yeah, I'm glad you're okay, man thank you.
Thank you, if you could redoone thing, what would you have
done differently, besides put mein your piece?

Alex (56:24):
if I could redo one thing this is a great question,
because I don't like to thinkthat I regretted, of course,
yeah yeah, most guests don't.

J.R. (56:32):
But like I guess you know, thought experiment.

Alex (56:35):
If I could redo one thing, it's probably maybe like
actually look into being an NBAstar as a kid, oh yeah.

J.R. (56:43):
Yeah, I think.

Alex (56:44):
I don't know if that was like your question but if I
could go back in time and maybeas a fifth, sixth grader, I
could like try to pursue this.

J.R. (56:52):
I don't know, that's just Possibly like, kind of like
pursue it a little bit more,yeah, a little bit harder, yeah,
yeah.
If you could give your youngerself advice, what would it be
now?
Any age, any time period.

Alex (57:05):
If I could give myself advice is to let me start this
off differently, Talking to myyounger self.
Time money and energy are neverfree.
Never give it away freely oruse those things like wisely and
think about how to use them,not to say to your advantage,
but to make your life a littlebit more fulfilling.

J.R. (57:27):
Yeah, that's what I would say what new in the last few
years?
What new belief, behavior orhabit has improved your life?

Alex (57:35):
I think it has to do with new belief.
I think it's probably thesoulmates thing not to say like
it super changed it, but I thinkit just re-evaluated a lot of
my relationships with how I seemyself in that relationship and
also like how that person isinto my life.
I think that changes how Idon't want to say I categorize

(57:56):
people in this right.
That might be likeoversimplifying yeah but I think
that does just help not tooverthink or deeply think of how
this person can provide for meyou know it's oh man, they might
just be my playmate.
That's totally fine.
If they hit on other things,then that's even better.
But yeah, I think that's like abelief that has kind of changed

(58:18):
the way that I want to say viewpeople.

J.R. (58:20):
But yeah, evaluate the way you see things, yeah, and also
who I am to them, right, likenot to take it personally.

Alex (58:26):
Oh man, I can't.
I really want to have thisconversation with this person,
but if they might not see me asa mind mate, then that's okay
yeah, it's fine.

J.R. (58:33):
Yeah, I like it.
I mean same here.
It's only been like a fewmonths, but I've been thinking
about that a lot too.
Yeah, if you sorry, who do youcall successful and how do you
define success?
Who do I call?

Alex (58:43):
successful.
And what do I find?

J.R. (58:45):
how do I define?

Alex (58:47):
success.
I let me answer the secondquestion first.
I think I define successful isif you can almost like that
quote fall seven times, stand upeight.
If you have a resilience,determination and discipline.
I think that's what I findsuccessful.
And also, if you are doing whatyour spirit calls for you to do

(59:14):
, or pushing your ambition andgoals in a healthy and good way,
then I would find thatsuccessful.

J.R. (59:22):
In terms of how you live your life, it's not even about
what you do, it's just likeabout how you do it right that's
what I find successful so ifdoes anyone come to mind that
might kind of fit that criteriato not not be weird about it,
but I find you successful man,thank you.

Alex (59:38):
Yeah, like you doing this podcast is like you having an
itch, like I've always knownthat you've always been so
knowledgeable in wanting to dolike something like this because
you read like a ton of booksand process so much information.
It's like, dude, let me try toset this up and do this like
thing that I've always wanted todo right that and do this like
thing that I've always wanted todo right.

(59:58):
Yeah, that's what I findsuccessful is pursuing things
that your soul, kind of, or yourspirit, calls you for right.
Um yeah like having those lifeexperiences that you might not
know if it will work out or not,but you give it a shot.
That's like success to me nice.

J.R. (01:00:13):
Yeah, thanks, man, I appreciate that.
Yeah, it's crazy because jesse,right before this, said the
exact same thing with the seventimes, eight times up oh, really
, I was like what the?
It's this like deja vu I'm likeyou guys are pretty much the
same thing.
That's cool, and the wholepursuing what makes you happy
the same thing maybe it's justcommon denominators with
successful people.
Yeah if you knew you couldn'tfail, what would you try or what
would you be doing right now?

Alex (01:00:34):
oh, yeah, right now.
If I knew I couldn't fail, Iwill be in the nba, is that?

J.R. (01:00:40):
me, man just go for your dreams probably be in the nba.

Alex (01:00:43):
Yeah, and I was like I'm probably like a childhood dream
that I've always thought about.
Yeah, you know, I mean I'm notof age anymore.
Yeah, yeah, but that attitude.
But yeah, you know, we'replaying with lebron james right
now, man oh man let's try outtomorrow what is one of the best
or most worthwhile investmentsyou've ever made in either time

(01:01:05):
money, energy, etc one more timesorry one of the best
investments you've ever made inany of those areas best
investments, I think, is I don'tknow if it's anything like
tangible or like things, but inany of those areas, best
investments I think is I don'tknow if it's anything tangible
or things but invest your time,again, money and energy and sell
your community, your friends,your family.

(01:01:27):
Those things are invaluable inthis life.
Think it's the people that yousurround yourself with that make
your life more fulfilling.
Yes, we are living in life foryourself and for you, but yeah,
if you can like, I don't know umit's like putting I forgot

(01:01:49):
where this concept came from butit's like putting, like you
have piggy banks of differentthings, right.
It's like putting a piggy bankinto your friendship, when you
can reconnect with someone orhang out with them or have spend
quality time with them or eveninvestments of.
I just started doing this.
I should have done this a longtime ago, but no tangible thing
like uh roth ira, right.

(01:02:10):
I think that's like a hugething that I think most like if,
again, if you do have the fundsto do it, you do it.

J.R. (01:02:17):
Especially if you're young .
Yeah, sooner the better.

Alex (01:02:19):
Yeah, so I think that's also huge.
Another tangible thing is to doinvest as much in terms of your
not safety, but in comfort andsafety, so anything that
protects you from the floor Ithink you should invest in, like
great shoes.

J.R. (01:02:35):
Okay, great bed.
Oh, I see Tires.
Yeah Right, you from the floor.
I think you should invest inlike great shoes.
Okay, great bed.

Alex (01:02:37):
oh, I see tires yeah, right, those things will.

J.R. (01:02:41):
You'll thank yourself later but I think most
importantly invest your time,money and energy to friends
family relationships, yeah, forsure cool.
What is one?
What is your favorite?
Recent purchase of around 50 to100 dollars that has impacted
your life the most in the lastsix months.

Alex (01:02:55):
Yeah, I don't know the last six months, because Any
time period, no for sure,because I actually don't buy too
many things.
But it's funny because Iprotect myself from the floor.

J.R. (01:03:05):
Oh, is it a.

Alex (01:03:05):
It's like an insole.

J.R. (01:03:06):
Oh insole yeah.

Alex (01:03:07):
This is like a move insole .
I think a lot of NBA playerswear it because you're in the
mba I'm training right now.

J.R. (01:03:19):
Uh, is it for?
Is it for posture preventativeof misalignments?

Alex (01:03:21):
or what do you use it for?
I?
Just use it for well, there'syeah, there's, I think,
different, there's differenttypes of them.
This one is like for I thinkthe one I'm wearing might just
be for basketball, okay, but orlike sports or whatever, but
there could be one for umeveryday use for me, like ever
since I've used these, like myfeet feel great after every
rehearsal or after long walksalone in disneyland, like I feel

(01:03:43):
long walks are an amc and sothe concession stand is the amc
list like line.
Just by myself, no, I feel myfeet feel great having that
investment of taking care of.
I mean we walk every day.
Yes, you know most of us do umit's a great investment.
That I think it's I mean theseare a little bit pricey for

(01:04:04):
insoles.
You can get like dr scholl'sfor like 15 bucks, but these are
like 60 bucks.
But it did change the way myfeet felt, especially if you're
an active person right, yeah,nice ladies, he invests in high
quality insoles, so just lettingyou know I'll get some for your
heels.

J.R. (01:04:20):
Yes, all right.
Any favorite books?
Last question favorite books,movies, videos, articles, media
or anything that you share orrecommend the most?

Alex (01:04:29):
favorite movie I think right now is interstellar
concept of toxic is interstellaris crazy to me.
This might not relate to manywomen out there, but I do tend
to look up the art of manlinessby Brett, I think Brett and Kate

(01:04:50):
McCabe something like that.
I think it's just great insideof how to like your role as a
man in this society, or likeeven xyz.
but I mean yes women can alsoread it too, of course.
That was great.
Yeah, those are two that poppedinto my mind.
Interstellar that's and shoot.
There was one other thing thatI thought of too, but if you

(01:05:13):
figure it out.

J.R. (01:05:14):
We can link it in the show later.

Alex (01:05:15):
But yeah, I'll link those two, for sure yeah cool, all
right, we are that is a rapidfire.

J.R. (01:05:21):
Thank you for having me dude we have ending questions
now, so we'll end with gratitude, like I always like to do so
shout out to my mom.
So, alex, what are you gratefulfor?

Alex (01:05:30):
I'm grateful to be healthy , to have a community village
around me where this kind ofgoes into your question of what
is successful or not, like whois successful, what is
successful?
I think I'm successful in wayswhere I have people that are
always supportive and friendsand family that, like, look

(01:05:51):
after me, look after mywell-being, even when I'm happy
or like sad, regardless of thecase, they're always just
looking out.
So I'm grateful to have to behealthy to able to move like to
dance, to work out, to be inthis physical vessel that I'm
able to do things you know andalso have people around me that

(01:06:12):
again are loving, considerate,respectful and, and all those
great qualities that's what I'mgrateful for.
Cool, I love it.

J.R. (01:06:18):
All right, any final ask from the audience or any final
takeaways you'd like them tohave from our conversation?

Alex (01:06:25):
Final ask I would like for you all to think about how you
use your time to be self-aware,to understand yourself as
thoroughly as possible, not betoo self-aware.
To understand yourself asthoroughly as possible, not be
too self-aware but to just bemore introspective of who you
are, what you are, why you dothe things you do, how you do

(01:06:46):
the things you do, and to try tobe your best, optimal self,
whatever that defines you andhow to live your life.
And yeah, last thing, keepwatching this podcast, keep
watching these videos.
Jr is a dear, dear friend ofmine and I do have high respect
of people, especially my friends, that have an interest and go

(01:07:09):
pursue it and want to includetheir friends and highly like
people that he feels that arelike that are worthy to be on
this podcast, that can shareinformation, that someone you
might out there that might findthis whole thing great, or even
one thing great or you know, inanother different podcast.
So, yeah, keep watching.
Like this great content.

J.R. (01:07:31):
Thanks, man.

Alex (01:07:32):
Of course.

J.R. (01:07:32):
Appreciate it Coming from the better version of me who who
is also single, so you know.
All right, alex, if people wantto check out what you're up to,
where can they find you?
Like handles, websites, hinge,profile, like whatever.
Where can they find you?

Alex (01:07:48):
No, I'm really on Instagram, but my Instagram is
at AlexCrystal__, so I thinkthat probably might be the only
place, because I'm a veryprivate person.
I don't want to share too muchabout my life.

J.R. (01:07:59):
Unless you're soulmate, then they'll find a way to you.

Alex (01:08:03):
But no, that's like the only handle that I have that you
can find me at.
I appreciate that, thank you.

J.R. (01:08:07):
Cool.
Yeah, all right, alex.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
I appreciate it.
Like you said, time it feelslike it flew by.

Alex (01:08:14):
Yeah, it did, talking for hours, but maybe part two then.
Yeah, absolutely Cool, thankyou, thank you.
Everyone Appreciate it.

J.R. (01:08:20):
Thank you guys.
So I'll sign off now.
So thank you guys for beinghere.
I really appreciate it.
A reminder to be kind toyourself and others, yourself
especially, and remember thatyou can always learn something
from someone if you just.

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#25: Alex Cristal - The Power of Solitude, Chasing Side-Quests, and “Soulmates”

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#25: Alex Cristal - The Power of Solitude, Chasing Side-Quests, and “Soulmates”