#31: Random Show w/ Aeden Pham - Karaoke Enthusiasts, Project Management Tips, and Unexpected Hot Takes - One Thousand Gurus Podcast

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
J.R. (00:01):
Hello everyone and welcome back to another exciting
episode of 1000 Gurus with me,your host, jr Yonacruz.
So today's guest is Aiden Pham,who you might have noticed from
a previous episode, but this isa special random show episode
and I asked him back to be aguest on this special episode,
episode number 31.

(00:21):
So let me read his bio reallyquick.
Aiden Pham is a publishedresearcher.
He has two master's degrees,studied in five different
countries, has worked inmultiple industries, including
service, non-profitentertainment and technology.
Has 20 plus years of workexperience.
Aiden is also an award-winningsinger, dancer, writer and film
director and also enjoys theirtime with various activities
like stand-up comedy, archery,ice skating and video slash

(00:44):
board gaming.
So I really enjoyed this episode, as my random shows are always
a nice break from ourtraditional interview format.
It's very relaxing to just beable to speak my mind on topics
and go back and forth with afriend of mine or a close friend
of mine who I have good rapportwith, and it's nice to have a
conversation without anyconcrete structure or format.
Normally I do enjoy that, butit's nice to change it up every

(01:04):
once in a while.
Special shout out to Aiden inparticular, because he was kind
enough to ask me questions thathe knew I would enjoy answering,
so it felt like a really nicegift that I really appreciated.
But as usual, we get into somefun topics like personal
finances, changes in mindset,anime, hot takes, productivity
tips, etc.
It was a lot of fun and, eventhough I do enjoy my typical
guru interview format, I'mdefinitely looking forward to

(01:27):
the next random show with afuture guest.
So, without further ado, hopeyou enjoyed this random show
episode with Aiden Phim.
Welcome back to 1000 Gurus.
Please welcome back my guest,aiden.
Yay, the audience Cool.
Well, thank you, aiden, forcoming back to the show.
I really appreciate it.

(01:48):
Also, thank you for this is aspecial random show, but also it
was a fundraiser for my danceteam, choreos, and so Aiden was
generous enough to donate tothat, and one of the bingo
fundraiser options was to comeback on my podcast.
So we appreciate that.
Help reduce our retreat fundsor retreat costs.

Aeden (02:06):
Yeah, we love throwing money.

J.R. (02:09):
Yeah, especially, especially adult money.
What's nice is that for theadults on the team, like the
people who have jobs, it'susually easier to raise money
because those people havefriends who also have jobs,
Whereas the college students onthe team usually it's other
college students they whothey're asking money from.

Aeden (02:25):
so it's you know yeah, I don't know if it's gonna be
possible for me to be amillionaire in this lifetime, so
the closest I can get isthrowing 20 at a college student
.

J.R. (02:34):
Okay, I was like, yeah, I feel so rich right now.
Okay, and we love that you likethrowing money at college
students.
Anyways, I also want to sayappreciate you bringing these
high noons for us to consume.
For video you can see that, butif it's audio, you can just
imagine.
Smart, yeah.
So, yeah, we want to pop thisopen now.

Aeden (02:56):
Yeah, yeah.

J.R. (02:57):
One, two, three Nice.
Oh my gosh, everyone's thirstyat home.
Cheers, nice, mmm.

Aeden (03:06):
The delicious taste of high noon wow, vodka, seltzer,
pineapple.

J.R. (03:11):
So, for those of you don't know, random show.
It'll just be a break from ourtraditional format.
So instead of having the wholespiel of interviewing him and
all this other stuff since we'vealready done that instead of
going into further topics on hisexpertise, we're going to go
into a more of a casual,friendly back back and forth,
asking a question, answering it,and then we'll kind of move on,
similar to episode 20 with myfriend Julie, and so that's kind

(03:34):
of like what we're going to bedoing today.
Yeah, sounds good.
Yeah, aiden, would you like tostart with your first question
and or topic?

Aeden (03:40):
I would love to start topic.
I would love to start and whenI was thinking about what I
should ask, I was like dang, Ifeel like I've gotten so much
from you and our relationshipover the past couple years.
I want other people to benefitfrom that as well.
So that meant my first questionwas going to be about finances.

(04:02):
What motivated you to startlearning about finances?
How did you get started?
I know for me, I first becameinterested in finances when I
realized I had no money and Iwas like dang, how do I change
that zero to something that'snot a zero?

J.R. (04:16):
Yeah, move the decimal over a little bit.

Aeden (04:19):
Yeah, exactly right.
So reaching out to you to talkabout finances learning a little
bit from my brother and my dad,although they're not as great
as explaining it the way you doso I was interested to learn
more about what got youmotivated, to learn that, to
become as strong as you are inthat and then to be able to

(04:40):
share that with others that.

J.R. (04:42):
That's a good question.
I think it's.
The straightforward answer is Ialso wanted to be rich or do
well with money, and so I thinkthat was always a strong
motivation for me to learn aboutpersonal finance.
And also early on in college orpostgraduate, I started to
learn from some mentors who werelike big in entrepreneurship
and stuff like that, and theyrecommended constant personal

(05:04):
development and reading, and sowhen I was like 22 ish, I just
started this reading two books amonth, sort of thing and I've
been doing that ever since, andso investing my education helped
me to find resources on how tobe better at personal finance
and something that I love aboutpersonal finance.
And again if you're a personalfinance person, I would love to
have you on the show just tointerview and have this

(05:24):
conversation deeper.
But what I love about personalfinance and again, if you're a
personal finance person, I wouldlove to have you on the show
just to interview and have thisconversation deeper.
But what I love about personalfinance is it's something that
once you learn a few keyprinciples and practices and
habits that you can implement toyour own life.
It pays so much in dividendsand ROI over the next 5, 10, 15,
20 years, and so I love havingthese coaching sessions with
people where they can learn justa few quick things and I know

(05:48):
in 10, 20 years they're going tobe a millionaire or whatever.
That the case just alleviates somuch of the daily anxiety
people have over.
You know what if I get laid offat my job?
Or what if something happens?
Do I have enough savings in thebank?

(06:16):
What if this credit card debtcomes back to bite me in the ass
?
Stuff like that.
So I think it's kind of likeevangelizing the whole just
learn about finances.
There's you can do it in a safeway where you're not being
scammed by someone, and it'sjust really easy.
Principles that haven't changedover the long term.
And yeah that's pretty much it.

Aeden (06:33):
Yeah cool.

J.R. (06:34):
Yeah, anything from you.
I think I know you mentionedthat you just wanted to learn
how to be better with money.

Aeden (06:39):
Yeah, I definitely wanted to learn how to do better with
money.
Yeah, I definitely wanted tolearn how to do better with
money, and I think we startedgetting reconnected when I was
starting to get back into theworkforce after leaving academia
, and that's when I startedhaving to do my own taxes,
because now I'm no longer adependent.
Then I had to look at payingfor things like car insurance,

(07:00):
health insurance.
See, what you need is like asugar daddy or something.
Yeah, you know I would love asugar daddy.
I'm not opposed.

J.R. (07:07):
That's my personal finance advice.
Get a sugar daddy.

Aeden (07:11):
I mean, I'm on the market for a sugar daddy you know,
he's like.
I'm open to that.
You know, if you want feet pics, I got feet, I got two of them.
Yeah, I'm not opposed.
I sometimes tease my friendsand say my ideal sugar daddy,
sugar baby relationship is theypay me to leave them alone.
I was like I promise I won'tbother you all week, just send

(07:32):
me like a thousand dollars.

J.R. (07:34):
So you're saying your expertise is getting people to
pay you to not bother them.

Aeden (07:38):
Yeah, hey, anybody out there, if you want me out of
your life, just send me athousand dollars and consider it
done.

J.R. (07:44):
I'm gone.
If anyone falls for that, youknow, props to you, man.
Cool any other questions on thetopic?

Aeden (07:52):
I know, yeah I mean, we can go really deep into this,
but I don't know if you hadanything else that you feel like
would be valuable I think themost valuable thing for me was
when you were talking about,like prioritizing different
buckets of money before lookingat different levels of like how
to use your money.
I mean, I won't go into toomuch because, to be honest, I

(08:13):
have notes but they're not in mybrain, so I'll leave that to
you sorry, so you meantdifferent buckets and what
levels of priority.

J.R. (08:21):
What do you you mean?

Aeden (08:22):
by that?
Yeah, I remember.
So first we were talking aboutsaving money by assessing what
is your at a minimum monthlyspend and then first meeting the
goal of having six months insaving, then one year, then
three years and then, after Ihave enough in savings and I can
start putting towards a high,high yield fund yeah yeah, then

(08:46):
after that there was, like,other levels of investment, but
it's always important to look atthe first levels first before
getting there, because there'sno point in throwing money into
like the stock market if I can'tpay.

J.R. (08:58):
right if you're, if you can't pay rent and or if, like,
your credit card debt is 16 andyou're trying to get eight
percent from the stock market,you're like, oh, that math
doesn't really make sense.

Aeden (09:06):
Yeah, I'm not strong at math, so all of that was just
gibberish to me.

J.R. (09:11):
But yeah, it's okay, he's doing the right thing, he just
can't communicate it.

Aeden (09:15):
Yeah, exactly, you know, the communication part is a
skill, so I'll leave that to you.

J.R. (09:20):
So what he's talking about is kind of what I do when I
walk through, when I havecoaching sessions on personal
finance with people.
We kind of assess where they'reat, where they want to be, and
obviously it's tailored towardsthem Right, and I don't give
them sort of investment advice.
It's kind of like you know youcan do research and stuff like
that.
But the personal finance sideof it is pretty straightforward.

(09:42):
We kind of assess where all thedebt is at credit cards, loans
etc, what the percentages are,and then a plan to either if it
makes sense to tackle that debtfirst or simultaneously build
their savings.
If they don't have savings,teach you to be rich.
And then psychology of money ismore of a overall sort of money

(10:04):
mindset thing.
But it's pretty straightforwardand outlined there and I'll
also link it, link to my booksummaries on that.
But essentially it's soassessing your debt, how fast
and how aggressive you want totackle that, your monthly
spending, meaning like the bareminimum that you need to survive
, and knowing what your bareminimum per month to survive.
Let's say, for me it's a grandright and if I'm trying to have

(10:30):
an emergency fund, that's threemonth emergency fund and my bare
minimum to survive is one grand.
Then three months is threegrand, right, six months, six
grand.
It's like easy math.
And so getting to that three orsix month emergency fund is
super critical for you, just incase something happens that you
need that right.
So, assessing whether it makessense to tackle the debt first
or simultaneously build yoursavings and then from there,
once you have a solid savingsand your debt is at a good place

(10:51):
, then we talk about investing.
I think the problem that a lotof people have is they try to
jump straight into oh, let meinvest in Robinhood, which you
should not do immediately as ataxable account.
Just my personal advice youshould try to open up a
retirement savings or, sorry,retirement account, which is
basically an investment accountbut it's tax advantage.
So if it's an IRA or sorry, ifit's a Roth or non Roth, you

(11:14):
either get an advantage back infront end.
This is going to mean gibberishyou've never done it before but
essentially always start with aretirement account before you
do a regular taxable account.
But that's like step three,right beyond your debt, beyond
your savings, and then it'sknowing after that point,
knowing what your monthlyspending is, and then kind of
having that emergency fund andthen your debt, and then you

(11:34):
start investing your retirementaccount.
Then, once you max out your IRAor any 401k match, and then you
kind of go into what else makessense to you, right?
But if you finish those firstthree or four steps, you're
better than what?
Like 80% of the people outthere who like live paycheck to
paycheck or they don't knowwhere their debt is, or they
just spend more than they make,whatnot.
But it's all very simple,straightforward stuff.
And then, even if you get toinvesting, you know there's

(11:57):
dollar cost averaging, there'sindex funds, there's retirement
date accounts, these a lot ofstuff that we'll go into.
But if we ever have coaching oryou can Google this stuff.
It's pretty straightforward.
Nothing crazy or fancy, butit's very valuable to learn.

Aeden (12:09):
Yeah, so this is a great segue to plug If you would like
JR to help you with yourfinances.

J.R. (12:14):
I'm always open.
I am currently building awebsite for relationship
coaching, but if you'reinterested in personal finance
coaching I've done.
About a dozen clients have setcoaching sessions no-transcript.

Aeden (12:51):
We had a financial coaching session.
I started saving up and becauseI was on 1099 for the first
time ever, I didn't realize howmuch the taxes would hit me.
And what JR had set me up forwas to be able to pay off
$11,000 in taxes that year, andwithout that coaching I would

(13:11):
have been pretty, pretty screwed.
And then I was also able to putlike a 10k down on my car.
So invaluable financial advice.
Everybody, everybody, just upJr.

J.R. (13:24):
Nice.
Yeah, thanks man.
I was gonna say I forgot mythought, nevermind.
Yeah, thanks for the plug.
Anything else on that topic?
Again, if you are a personalfinance person, hit me up.
I would love to interview onthe show.
We can talk deeper on finances.
But thanks for bringing it up,I think that's something people
should learn about.
All right, you ready for myquestion?

(13:45):
Ooh, bring it.
Okay, what is one belief ormindset that has changed for you
over the years?
I guess I'll give mine first.
So I think my perception ofovergiving or receiving gifts
has changed over the years,because I think I don't want
things that like how do I saythis?

(14:06):
I usually don't want like giftsbecause I'm not really a gifts
person.
You know, like love languages.
Yeah, I'm not really a giftgiving sort of person, but I
have learned that if you want toexpress your love for someone
else and it's their lovelanguage you kind of had to put
an effort to be thoughtful andgive kind of those sort of
thoughtful gifts or you knowthat sort of thing to someone

(14:30):
else.
But also, even if I don't likereceiving gifts, I still
appreciate the thought that goesinto it, because that's the
whole point.
It's not the thing they gave me, like the shirt or whatever.
It's the intention that they'regiving me and that's what I
should appreciate, not theactual thing, like, for example.
And for gifts I really well, ifyou're a friend of mine, you
give me gifts.
I appreciate all the gifts yougive me, but I really don't like

(14:53):
things that just take up spacein my life, like real estate
like you, just sits in my room,gathers dust.
I like functional things orthings that take up minimal
space.
So two good examples would bestickers that I can just put on,
like my laptop or whatever, orlike apparel, like one piece
shirts or hats or shoes,something like that because it's
okay, I can wear this and it'staking up space, but it's

(15:14):
functional.
Whereas if you give me like a,you know like a, let's say, like
a pop thing, you know like atoy or a chia pet or something
where it's just oh, here's athing, I'm like I really
appreciate it, thank you, butI'm like now what I'm going to
do with this because it's justtaking up space in my room.
But I think, yeah, that's onething that's changed is my

(15:35):
perspective of gifts.
So what about you?

Aeden (15:39):
that's a tough question.
I think for me it's somethingthat I'm still working on, but a
reassessment of how I define myown personal value.
I think growing up it wasingrained in me, especially
because we're Asian, that thevalue you have is like your

(16:00):
subservience to the space orlike to the authority figure.
So I was a good person if I wasa good student in class, or I
was a good person if I was agood son at home.
I was a good person if I was agood worker at work.
And as I have gotten older andcome more into my thirties and

(16:22):
have um moved around thesespaces a little bit more
differently, I find that thatkind of mindset is actually
quite harmful, both for myselfand for the space.
So internally or on a personallevel, when I approach things
with that sense, sure there'ssome positive aspects to it,

(16:42):
right?
So I'm constantly trying tocontribute, I'm constantly
trying to optimize or createmore efficiency for both myself
and the spaces I'm in, and sothere is value that is generated
there.
But it comes from a sense ofnot being good enough, and I
think people can read that on anemotional level, even if they
don't recognize it on anintellectual level and that kind

(17:06):
of breeds a space where peoplefeel like, oh, am I not good
enough now?
If you're not good enough, thenwhat am I?
And so it sets people up tostart unraveling, and the space
becomes difficult for people tolike navigate through or like to
exist in, because now it feelslike everyone has to do
something in order to generatevalue for themselves, in order

(17:27):
to deserve to be there.
Something that I have beenchallenged by both my therapist
and my vocal coach to do is tolook at contribution more as a
gift than as a necessity, right?
So we enter a space, we are ofvalue already, inherently, as
people like.
We already have value in and ofourself, and when we come into
a space, the purpose isn't toprove that we have value in and

(17:48):
of ourself.
And when we come into a space,the purpose isn't to prove that
we have value or prove that wedeserve there, deserve to be
there, but to share ourexperience with each other and
open up that space for everyoneto contribute.
I think that comes frominternally, a sense that is more
stable, that's more relaxed,that that's more inviting.

(18:11):
So, instead of creating anxietyaround, am I good enough?
Well, if I'm not good enough,then are you good enough.
If you're not good enough, thenam I good enough?
It creates more of oh my gosh,wow, you're like you're bringing
so much into the room.
I want to bring stuff into theroom, like you're sharing so
much knowledge, want to shareknowledge, and now everyone in
the space benefits from thatsort of collective calm or

(18:33):
collective open-mindedness Ilove that.

J.R. (18:36):
It's like an abundance mindset sort of too right, oh my
gosh, yeah, that's exactly ityeah, and another thing, too
sorry to go back.
What I was gonna say.
The last thing on finance andwe're just gonna go back to
right now is uh, it's good thatyou brought that up, because
this episode probably go livelike right around the tax
deadline whatever right afterit's like end of april,
something like that.

(18:56):
But it's going back to what youwere saying.
It kind of reminds me of thistony robbins quote where he says
that with this sort of wealthmindset and scarcity versus
abundance, what you should do isstart with the mindset of being
wealthy because you have somuch already in you, within you,

(19:16):
a lot to be grateful for, so tospeak.
So you start well, becausewealth is a mindset, but having
financial success is a differentthing.
That's a tangible thing.
So start wealthy, but thengenerate income, or generate
wealth and build assets afterthat does that make sense?
yeah, because wealth is more ofa mindset and it reminds me of
what you're just saying is likeyou start with that mindset
you're accepted as you are andyou already have value, and then

(19:39):
from there, it's just you dothe actual thing like that, yeah
, and I find that this has alsobeen very helpful in my artistic
endeavors.

Aeden (19:48):
When I dance or when I sing, I find that my habit is to
kind of approach it from thismindset of oh, I don't know if
I'm good enough to do this, solet me just try.
I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'mdoing, I'm here, I'm doing this.
I mean, there are betterdancers, better singers who
could be doing this, and I thinkthat reads.
I think people who watch meperform after that can tell that

(20:10):
I'm performing with thatmindset and they're like, oh, I
don't know if I should feel badfor this performer, or I don't
know, the vibe is off.
And so I've been working withmy vocal coach more specifically
to try to shift that mindset,to say, well, no, when we
perform, it's communication,it's communication.

(20:30):
Right, we're trying tocommunicate with our audience or
with other performers, to tryto tell a story, to have a
conversation, and you can'treally have a conversation if
the entire time you're like, oh,I'm sorry, oh, I'm sorry if
you're trying to justify yourown existence exactly and so
I've been trying to enter spaceswhere I've been invited with a

(20:51):
mindset of I have stuff I canshare and I also have stuff I
can learn.
so I'm gonna come and share whatI can and learn what I can, and
I would hope that I can inviteothers to do the same.
And I have found that thatinstills a kind of confidence in
me that I was lacking with theother mindset.
I tend to pick up choreographyquicker, I tend to do better

(21:16):
harmonies, and that's becauseI'm no longer carrying around
the anxiety of questioning myvalue.
questioning my worth, because,if you already have it you don't
have to worry about it, and nowother people can sense that and
recognize that they also havevalue that we can see.

J.R. (21:36):
Yeah, it's kind of like putting that energy in the space
that you want to also create.
Cool, did you have a next topic?

Aeden (21:44):
I did.
Okay, so I know you've broughtthis up a couple times, but
favorite anime and why?

J.R. (21:53):
I think my entire audience knows my favorite anime is one
piece okay I literally wear theshirts every single chance I get
.
Even your producer knows yes,of course my producer is very
astute, so of course he knowsbut, yeah, so one piece.
You said why yeah, sopersonally I've never have.
Do we have an hour?
I guess?

(22:14):
In the nutshell, tldr.
There's a lot of.
There's a few different themesthat I love about one piece.
It's a for those who, for thoseof you, don't know why you
listen to this, go watch onepiece.
I'm just kidding, but it's apirate anime.
So it's about like this crewcalled the Straw Hat Crew and
their captain Luffy.
He's like a rubber man, he haslike special powers and he

(22:34):
stretches and stuff like that,and basically they're on a
mission to become king of thepirates or he's trying to be
king of the pirates and everyoneelse on the crew has their own
dreams and goals, but they allcome together to make his dream
come true and have funadventures together.
And, of course, along the waythey come across bad guys,
people who you know enslaveother people or put them down or
just oppress them, and theyliberate them and they're just

(22:56):
going on this adventure to havefun.
So what I like about it, asidefrom the strong theme of chasing
your dreams and supporting yourfriends dreams and the people
around you, helping others, isalso this idea, and I think I
mentioned in my last episodethat a lot of my life
philosophies come from one piecespecifically about like friends

(23:17):
, family, found family and howyou interact in the group
dynamic, and I think it's thebiggest thing that I take away
from that and which I bring intomy own team, choreos, and what
I teach them in terms of cultureis that we're all built
different.
We all like different things.
I have different strengths,weaknesses, goals, dreams, etc.
And the best team is not ahomogenous team.

(23:38):
The best team is one that leansinto our differences and relies
on each other, because luffy,being the captain, is pretty
much dumb and stupid and notcompetent in anything.
The only thing he's very strongas a fighter because in anime,
punch manga they fight, yeah,but what he is good at is caring
about other people and doingwhatever it takes to keep his

(23:59):
word, like he never goes back onhis word.
And so because of that isn'tthat integrity?
His crew trusts him and becausethey trust him, they will also
put their life on the line forhim and his dreams.
And so he's not.
They have a navigator who's thebest navigator, a swordsman
who's the best swordsman, a chefwho's the best chef.
But they all need each other tomake this adventure happen and
they won't stop anything but tomake sure that each other

(24:21):
protecting and helping eachother.
And so I see that, as you can'tunlike these other anime and
manga, you't go at life alone.
You can't just be the mainprotagonist and just force your
way through life.
You have to learn how to relyon others, help others, help
yourselves, stick true to yourprinciples and stay true to
yourself, and I think that'swhat creates the best adventure,

(24:42):
and it's not about getting tothe destination.
So, finding the last island,the one piece, the laugh tale is
the goal, but the actual goalfinding the last island, the one
piece, the laugh tale is thegoal, but the actual goal is the
journey along the way, becauseluffy is like yeah, I'm, we may
or may not ever make it to onepiece.
But that's not the point.
The point is to have fun with myfriends and so I take that away
as well as enjoy the journey,enjoy your friends, lean into

(25:06):
that, accept people as they are,and that's how you build a
great team what was that saying?

Aeden (25:10):
it's like the journey is the friends we made along.
Yeah, that too the journey.

J.R. (25:14):
There are like the, the real treasure or whatever is,
the friends you met along theway, or something yeah, so
that's kind of it I mean it'salso a pirate anime, so they're
trying to find the one piecewhich is a treasure.
So but yeah if that does notevangelize you to watch one
piece, I don't know it will.

Aeden (25:27):
I feel like we're such different people when it comes
to anime, because I know OnePiece is like 1,000 plus
episodes, now Like 1,100 minimum.
Yeah, good luck to anybodywho's starting new.

J.R. (25:39):
There is a new reboot sort of version that they're doing.
It's like a streamline with anew studio.
I see and so they're trying tocompress like, let let's say,
the 1200 episodes into likemaybe two to 300, and it's
updated because this anime cameout in 1998, sometime around
then and so it's to bring in thenew audience to this sort of
concise, streamlined version.
So be on the lookout for that,if you're.

(26:00):
And also there's the liveaction as well.
That's bringing more people in.
There are different mediums.
The spirit of one piece isstill the same across those
mediums, but whatever you getinto, it's like on you.
I think once you become adiehard fan, you will want to
read the original sourcematerial yeah but honestly,
whatever brings you in, highlyrecommend it dang, I might look
for that.
That shortened yeah it's on theit's on the, it's on the horizon

(26:23):
, like maybe this year, nextyear it'll start oh, what a
funny pirate pun you got there.

Aeden (26:29):
I was gonna say my.
Mine is the.
I feel like an opposite cut.
So my favorite anime is likevery it's very hard for me to
find anybody who's seen it.
It's called death parade andit's one season.
I think it's only like 16episodes.
It's super tight.
I really like the animation.
It is a bit on the dark,pressing, yeah.

(26:53):
So the premise of it isbasically the main character is
a bartender at a bar that sitsbetween life and death and so
when people die they forget likethe past couple hours of their
life, so they don't thinkthey're dead.
They show up in the bar and hemakes them play games and, based
on how they engage with eachother through the game, he

(27:15):
judges whether they can bereborn into another life or sent
to eternal damnation.
But the twist is there'sanother girl who shows up, but
she doesn't come into the barthrough the typical means, so
they have no idea who she is andhow she's there.
So she sticks around as kind oflike the viewer insert
character and she'll askquestions and she'll poke and

(27:36):
prod at his philosophy.
I mean like why did you do that?
Or like why do you assume that,and so it really challenges
like a philosophical approach ofhow do we judge people?
Judge people like why do peoplebehave the way that they behave
?
And the last episode took meout like emotionally, I was
wrecked.
I was like dang.
I spent all season with thesetwo people just watching them

(28:00):
judge people left and right andin the end I was like you know,
so everyone dies in the end.
Oh man, it's so dark, it's sorough.
But I love anime for that,especially like psychological or
philosophical anime.
I think it provides a greatavenue for us to have really
deep and profound conversationsabout how we view things and our

(28:20):
perspectives when approachingpeople of different background
or different thought processes.

J.R. (28:25):
I like it quick take before we switch.
But I was I've just started, orwhatever started watching this
anime called the 12 futurediaries.
Oh, have you watched her?
I don't know where I got thiswreck from, but like it's very
dark and violent and all thisbut and there's some plot holes.

(28:46):
But I really like how likefresh it feels, because it's
like a psychological thriller.
This basically, these 12 peoplehave these diaries where they
have different sort of seeinginto the future, ask abilities,
and number one is theprotagonist.
But the second diary holder islike this psycho creepy, his
creepy girlfriend who's like astalker but she's also

(29:07):
superhuman because and she's asociopath, like she can kill
people easily.
So she's obsessed with him.
But then there's 10 otherpeople who have different
motives and stuff.
But it's very creepypsychological.
You're not really sure whateveryone's motives is, but it
kind of gets revealed.
So it's kind of like a murdermystery as well yeah, but heavy
on the action, the thriller, theviolence, the romance and all
this other stuff.

Aeden (29:27):
I I also watched that one .
I thought it was interestingbecause I was watching this
breakdown of it, and so numberone and number two are a couple,
but one of the other futurediaries is a couple diary, and
so their diaries tell of eachother's future.
And the reviewer who wastalking about this anime was
like, oh yeah, like the maincharacter, he starts out as a

(29:48):
pretty pathetic person, like aawful guy.
He's like willing to let hispsycho girlfriend like die for
him, and everyone along the waythat they meet and like that
they engage with are alwaystrying to yell at him to say
dude, you need to be a man, youneed to grow up, you need to
figure out what you're doing andtake care of your woman and all

(30:09):
this stuff.
And I was like, wow, I neverreally looked at it in that way
because they're all just tryingto kill each other.
Yeah, they're all trying tokill each other.

J.R. (30:17):
But then they also kind of help each other at some point
because they're trying to killother people and then, like you
said, they're also trying tohelp coach the number one dude.
Like hey, you should be better,like number one dude, like hey,
you should be better.
And so usually I hate thoseprotagonists where they're like
wimpy and they don't have, theydon't stand for anything and
they're kind of cowards yeah butyou know he develops over time,
but I'm still watching it.

(30:37):
But yeah, it's, it wasinteresting remind me of that
yeah all right.
My question is I think it'seither or so what are some
hypocrisies that you notice,either in society or the people
around you in your communities?

Aeden (30:51):
or any hot takes oh, you trying to get me canceled,
ideally yeah, let me go firstand okay, like call me yours,
because I already have an answer, so mine is.

J.R. (31:02):
So you know that's we talk about this instead of calling
the time.
So you know that the stereotypeof how Asians or Filipinos eat
dogs and we obviously don't, butit's one of those things right,
and what bothers me is that thepeople who are so adamantly
against the idea of eating a dogor something like that, like a
commonly known house pet, isthat they are also avid meat,

(31:25):
like avid meat eaters, meaningthey'll eat slaughtered cow,
chicken, pig all day and theywon't bat an eye, but it's, oh
no, a puppy.
And but they're bred to be, youknow, like a companion, and
they're intelligent, excuse me,a lot of these animals that you
eat are also intelligent yeahand they might not be bred or
genetically modified or put incages with eternal darkness and

(31:45):
they're just fed and then keptthere and then slaughtered
inhumanely.
But apparently you're fine withthat, but you're not fine with
eating a dog.
And I'm not advocating to killpuppies or cats or all that
stuff, right.
I'm just saying that thathypocrisy throws me off, because
we'll go to cream barbecueright afterwards, but then, as
soon as someone says oh yeah youknow, people eat dogs and some
other places where they're likevery starving and they need food

(32:06):
and stuff like that and they'relike, oh no, that's so terrible
.
I'm like you're not a vegan, sowhat?
What is this hypocrisy?
So hopefully that makes sense.
It kind of just bothers me thatlike have this double standard.
I'm like dead animal is a deadanimal.
If you're gonna, if you'regonna enjoy the meat, then don't
be a hypocrite and be like, ohno, we just eat the puppies yeah
and also you're contributing topollution which kills all the

(32:27):
animals in the ocean.
So again, it's very complicated,but that's something that takes
me out man, I feel like we cantalk about this for forever.

Aeden (32:37):
I have so many hypocrisies that just jump out
at me and I'm like trying tochoose one.
It's like which one?

J.R. (32:44):
where do I?

Aeden (32:45):
Yeah, I think the first one that really comes to mind
probably because of, like, thepolitical climate and what my
Instagram algorithm is sharingwith me.
But the hypocrisy I find thatirks me is when people talk
about like pro-life things andthen vote against policies that
help to ensure that, when lifedoes occur, that it's a life

(33:07):
worth living, that help toensure that, when life does
occur, that it's a life worthliving.
Yeah, so I'm like personally, Iam like all for life, right, if
I could get pregnant and then Icould keep the child, then I
would, because life is preciousto me.
But I also recognize that I amnot the one carrying a child in
me, so I don't get to make thatdecision for someone else.

(33:29):
But what I can do is make surethat if someone chooses to keep
a fetus, keep a pregnancy, thatwhen that child comes there is a
life worth living.
There are institutionalsupports to make sure that that
child is supported, cared for.
So that's things like education,food and water, housing, right,
and these are all things thatpeople who typically not all but

(33:53):
typically call themselvespro-lifers, vote against because
their mindset is well, if youwant it, you better go work for
it.
And I was like, okay, how areyou going to have a newly born
baby go work for?
Like food, you know, and if themother needs food to get the
food to the baby, should themother not have food Like?

J.R. (34:09):
hello.
My friend put it succinctlythis way it's the hypocrisy of
people who are pro-life, butthey're actually pro-birth, not
pro-life, because if you werepro-life, you would be
supporting these initiatives,policies, things that government
can do that can support life ina healthy way and fairly and
with equal access.
But you're actually pro-birth,you just want the birth to

(34:31):
happen, but you don't give acrap about the baby afterwards,
especially like consideringtheir skin color or their
demographic or their parents'economic status.
Clearly that's in play.
Yeah, so yeah, that hypocrisyis so glaring.

Aeden (34:43):
And I think it's especially interesting because,
as the world becomes moreglobalized and more
interconnected, we are able toaccess and view what is
happening around the world on amore consistent basis, and
especially since our governmenthas a hand in international
affairs.
As someone who studiedinternational relations,
international politics, for meit's kind of like what we do at

(35:05):
home is also what happens abroad.
So the policies that we votehere have real impact not only
on the people here, but thepeople everywhere, and it's
frustrating to me when we say,oh, we're pro-life, but yeah,
let's just pass like a couplebillion dollars to send bombs to
another country Right, let'sbomb another country.

J.R. (35:22):
Exactly so.
You're pro-life, but not prothat life.

Aeden (35:26):
Yeah, that's really what's frustrating for me,
because I was like if you'regoing to call yourself pro-life,
recognize that words meanthings, words have power and own
it.
I'm okay.
If you want to be like I'm apro-birther, that's all I really
care about.
Just recognize it and own itRight, but don't claim something
that you're not and then try touse that as a weapon with which

(35:47):
to disarm others.
That's not productive right.

J.R. (35:51):
It's like a double standard, and so I agree.
I think like people can havetheir own values and morals and
principles and what guides themto make decisions and stuff like
that.
What bothers me is the doublestandards and trying to use
those wordings to empoweryourself and what your agenda is
, but disempower other peoplewith the same words and the same
meanings, but kind of justflipping it around Again.

(36:12):
That's what kind of bothers meabout the politics nowadays.
That sort of thing.

Aeden (36:17):
Yeah, and it's always that kind of extends a little
bit into the hypocrisy of likewell, you shouldn't persecute me
for my beliefs, but let mepersecute you for yours real
quick.
And that's where I getfrustrated with some like of the
religious arguments that gobehind pro-life or like
pro-birth.
It's oh, like my religion saysI have to protect life, so I'm

(36:39):
gonna force you to carry thispregnancy.
And I was like didn't we talkabout like separation of church
and state?
Can I just do my own stuff?
Like I'll take care of mine andyou take care of yours?
And then that's when they'relike, oh, but you're persecuting
my religion now.
And I was like what are youtalking about?
That doesn't make sense to me.
You are the predominantmajority religion of this

(36:59):
country.
Like no one is.
We're saying you can dowhatever you want, do what you
want.
I like that grinds my gears.

J.R. (37:08):
Yeah, I'll add in one more thing, if we're not already
canceled by this people are likeoh no, it's a political pot,
it's a religious I'm so sorry.
No, it's not, but okay, I'llspeak on this as a christian too
, because I'm a christian andsome of the hypocrisy I see in
the christian community, atleast in my space, is like the
whole pro-life is one thing, butalso the whole fact of a lot of
there's a a lot of groups thatare Christian groups and

(37:30):
religious groups that are likeanti-immigrants and helping the
poor and the homeless and thesick, and all this other stuff
but it's like, guys, what didJesus do?
Literally wash the feet of sickpeople and, you know, protected
the immigrants and welcomed themin all these other things, but
then you do the opposite thingsand yet you claim that you're a
Christian.
Again, it's the hypocrisy thatbothers me.

(37:53):
It's not standing on yourmorals and principles.
It's double standard for yousaying I have stand, I have my
values here, but when it's inthis case, in the exact same
instance, I'm going to flip itaround and say no, actually not.
That's just what bothers me,yeah yep, yep, I.

Aeden (38:03):
There's a lot I could say about that.
Let's save it for later.
I think that was enough spicein the rack.

J.R. (38:08):
I think it's your turn.

Aeden (38:09):
Okay, my turn Alright.
So I know you do like karaokesessions with a group of your
friends.

J.R. (38:19):
Yeah, I mean we, we've been Filipino.
Yeah, exactly, my friends areFilipino.
Yeah, are you going to cancelme now?
No, we, actually, we do, wegenerally.
Because we're Filipino, we singkaraoke.

Aeden (38:28):
Yeah, yeah Tight.
So I wanted to ask what you arelike.
How did you get about singing?
Get stereotype like on apersonal level aside?

J.R. (38:37):
from your genetics.
How did you get it?

Aeden (38:39):
yeah, you know the first note you sang when you came out
the womb versus yeah, it wasjolly bee oh, my god, yeah, the.
I just wanted to know how yougot into it, how you got to the
point where you decided toinvest more in it by having like
consistent karaoke sessions.
What's your engagement withmusic?
So, for example, for me, Istarted singing in high school

(39:02):
because my sister was in a choirand I joined, and for me, like
I said before, my concern hadalways been like oh, I want to
contribute, like I really lovesinging.
I think it's like a great formof expression, it's like really
cool to do but I feel like I'mconstantly like not good enough,
not good enough, not goodenough, which is why I sought
out a vocal coach who I've nowbeen with for years and part of

(39:24):
his training what's hisethnicity?
So he's Filipino.
I knew the answer to that.
If anybody's interested, I knowI've talked about my vocal
coach a lot, so shameless plugfor him.
His name is Glenn ClancyG-L-E-N-N.
Last name Clancy C-L-A-N-C-Y.
Wait, how, how old is he?
He's in his 40s now.
Okay, kuya.

J.R. (39:41):
Glenn.
Oh my god, shout out to.

Aeden (39:44):
Kuya.

J.R. (39:45):
Glenn, thanks for teaching Aiden your singing my god.
Well we weren't canceled.
Now, hey, I'm Filipino, I feellike I can make that joke.
Okay, go ahead.

Aeden (40:02):
Yeah, but a lot of his emphasis is on reorienting our
mindset around music and how weengage with music, because if
you have a positive relationshipwith music, you will naturally
search out more things to dowith it, and so, knowing that
that has been my journey, I wascurious to know what your
journey is, as someone who didnot like have training through a
vocal coach did not go to thisguy that I go to, so how did you

(40:22):
get from birth to consistenttherapy sessions?

J.R. (40:28):
Yeah, I will say it's a little bit different for me
because I know you're consistentand intentional about growing
your vocal skill.
For me it's always just been afun thing.
I did not sing out of the womb,I didn't have any vocal
training.
My friends and I would kind ofjust do it for fun, as a social
thing, like every four to sixweeks.
After about like four weeks westart to feel this itch like we

(40:49):
gotta go karaoke soon.
Right, because it's just funand maybe it's an inherent like
Filipino culture thing.
But yeah, for me I think a lotof my family always saying you
know the stereotypical filipinokaraoke, magic mic at like
parties and stuff like that andso I was always surrounded by
that environment.
So it's just a normal thing andnot.
It's not that everyone knowshow to sing, but apparently
eventually they get better.

(41:10):
So I remember when I was likein middle school, early high
school, my sister and I wouldsing like these tagalog songs.
And we don't speak tagalog, soI would just sing phonetically
as I hear it and I would copy mydad Like he would sing like and
I would sing.
I would sing just like the Titosort of version, but I'm like I
don't know what I'm saying, Idon't know if I'm saying it
right, but I'm just doing itjust for fun.

(41:31):
And then I think eventuallyafter call I never really sang
formally, just for fun.
And then after college Istarted to like, okay, let me
just try practicing and tryingto sound good so that I can
enjoy, or I can enjoy the act ofsinging.

(41:52):
And I think at some point therewas like a switch or like a
threshold where I'm like, oh, Ithink I'm decent now, so that
when I do sing, it feels a lotbetter than that sort of skill
gap where, like you, let's say,in dancing, you're like, okay, I
don't think I look good andit's not enjoyable.
Once you start to get to acertain level and you like where
you're at, it starts to getmore fun.
So eventually I just like, justgot there where I'm like, oh, I

(42:13):
think I'm decent now.
So now I really have a lot offun and I think the fun aspect
kind of like what you're saying,enjoying the thing that you do,
put gas on the fire and now wego consistently and I don't
think about, oh, do I soundterrible?
Because I know I'm not trainedand I know I don't always sound
good, but I know that I soundgood enough that and that I
enjoyed enough that I will keepgoing and I think that

(42:34):
inherently keeps improving myskill, because I am inherently
practicing, but not consistentlyas you.
Yeah, and to be fair, guys, Idon't really sing that well.
Aiden actually sings reallywell.
Like he went to karaoke onetime we were like damn, this
guy's a real singer so it's adisclaimer.

Aeden (42:47):
Thank you.
No, I mean, I think you sounddope.
Thank you, I honestly think mycoach would like you better,
because I'm always so uptightabout it and he's like dude, you
need to fucking relax, yeah goto karaoke, yeah he's like you
need to find the fun in it, likemusic is supposed to be fun.
We do this because we enjoy itand I was like, oh right, my bad
.

J.R. (43:06):
Okay, what are your go-to karaoke songs?
Oh, dang for people who don'thave the privilege of going with
us.
What can they expect you?
What are your top three thatyou expect to sing?

Aeden (43:15):
oh, top three.
Okay, so anytime I think topthree.
I try to vary it up a littlebit.
I'm going to do the same.
Yeah, to test out my waters.
So I like musicals, so thefirst one I would do is she Used
to Be Mine from the musicalWaitress, but the Jeremy Jordan
version.
It's in a key that I can manage.

J.R. (43:36):
We love managing keys.

Aeden (43:37):
I know and we love Jeremy Jordan.
Oh my God, god, he's phenomenal.
I saw him in the great gas feemusical a couple months back and
I am obsessed.
He is so good.
So that's one.
Another one that I like to dois wildflower by park hyo shin.
So I like korean ballads verynice.

(43:58):
So I really enjoy coming back tothis song on occasion because
it's like a checkpoint for me tosee, like, how much I've
changed, technique wise ormindset wise.
So sometimes I'll be singingand as we get to the bridge I'm
like okay, what technique do Iwant to employ?
Am I ready to employ it?
Versus?
Sometimes I'm like, oh, am Iscared of like the bridge coming

(44:18):
up because it's high?
Is that going to cause me totense up?
Is that tension going toprevent me from singing it?
And so that one's always funfor me to showcase but also
surprise myself, be like, oh,shoot, I can do it today.
That's nice.
And let's see my third song.
Depending on who's there, Iwill change it.

(44:40):
And let's see my third song.
Depending on who's there, Iwill change it.
So I have a couple Japanesesongs, some Tagalog songs, some
Thai, some Viet songs that Ihave like in my docket, and so I
adjust it depending on who's inthe crowd.
Same same.
Yeah, just so I can be likesurprise, I gotcha.
But if not, then I usually justtry to do something a little
fun just to mix up the vibe, andin that case my go-to would be

(45:04):
Anaconda by Nicki Minaj.
Perfect, I was like hey, I needto remind people that.
Like yeah, we're here to put ona show.
It doesn't need to be likesuperb singing all the time, it
can just be throwing asssometimes.

J.R. (45:17):
Nice, yeah, pro tip for guys going karaoke.
Have nice, yeah, pro tip forguys going karaoke.
Have a karaoke list or like asong list.
So be prepared.
I break mine up into categorieslike disney songs, rap, ballet,
korean ballads, japaneseballads, like pop songs, top 40
sort of thing.
It helps with the flow becauseyou know half the time you go in
there and the first fiveminutes people are just looking.

(45:38):
But I'm like noob, just go inwith your.
You should have a list,especially with my friends.
I'm like you guys don't have akaraoke list.
It's easy, just you put in yourusuals and then kind of get the
bar rolling.
But so, yeah, my top threewould always be any combination,
not in this order, but aneminem song or a rap song,
because I'm like the biggesteminem fan.
So it might be like Rob God orForgot About Dre with Dr Dre,

(46:01):
and then I'll do a Disney songtypically it'll be Frozen, so
something with Elsa that I'llsing, probably the reprise of
what is it called?
not, you Don't Want to Build aSnowman, it's the from the first
movie where, after when Anna'strying to go back and be like,
hey, you should come back.
And she's like you can justunfreeze everything.

(46:23):
And she's like, no, I can't, Idon't know how.

Aeden (46:25):
Oh.

J.R. (46:25):
First time in forever Reprise version.
I love that one.
Or like Disney, like somethingthere, beauty and the Beast.
And then my third one will beaed Japanese ballad from TVXQ or
DBSK, and it'll be either Lovein the Ice or Bolero.
Don't know what I'm saying, butI listen to TVXQ like at least
once a week, and they're justlike my old group because their

(46:48):
ballads just dominate.

Aeden (46:50):
I've definitely heard you sing all of those A plus.

J.R. (46:53):
And I will solo a four, what's a, you know, like a duet,
but what's a five person Likewhat is that called quintet?
Okay, so I quintet solo.
So I'll do all the parts, likehow they do it, and like even in
beating the beast, right, Iwill sing both bell and beast,
yeah, and so I'll switch backand we're like something sweet

(47:13):
like so I'll go back and forth.
But even for tvxq I will switchbetween, like the vocals of all
five of them, yeah, because I'mjust so psyched like that.

Aeden (47:21):
But yeah, if anybody wants to see jr's beauty and the
beast rendition, it's actuallyon instagram.

J.R. (47:26):
We have a viral video for jr and blessy that had like a
million or something views.
Like, yeah, a couple hundredthousand likes of me singing at
a karaoke bar, like at arestaurant, and yeah, I switched
back and forth between the guyand the girl it.

Aeden (47:40):
I thought it was so funny because I see the waitress come
up with another mic and blesshe goes, it's okay, he got it
and I died.
I was like that's so funny.

J.R. (47:49):
No, it's funny afterwards too, because you know, all right
, that's karaoke crew, like justa bunch of us.
And so that was one of thefirst times we went to a karaoke
bar and I got featured on thatrestaurant's Instagram and you
know we do it for fun.
But then I was telling Blessy,jokingly, I was like, oh, did
you get featured on theInstagram?
oh, no, just me oh so you'resaying I'm first place in
karaoke.
You're saying I'm the best I'mjoking, but I am first place.

(48:13):
So I mean tight, we love it, welove it, congratulations.
So new topic.
What is so?
We're both optimizers, if youlisten to Aiden's first episode.
So what is one way you'veoptimized your life recently, or
one thing you do that gives youmore peace?
I know those are kind ofdifferent but similar right.

Aeden (48:31):
Yeah.

J.R. (48:32):
I'll start with mine and I'll go quick.
It's cutting people out andmaximizing peace when values
don't align, and so it's not somuch to say I'm not like hack
and slash, but I'm veryintentional with like okay, over
time.
You're very observant,self-aware, and you're observant
around if you listen to Jesse'sepisode, which just went live
well before this recording.
But it's, you know, surroundingyourself with people mindfully

(48:56):
and not just mindlessly andprotecting your peace there.
But I think I've gotten betterat understanding the type of
people that are around me andbeing more intentional with
spending time with people whoalign more with my values and
less around people who don'talign with my values.
But more than that is if therecomes to a point where I know I
should probably cut them outbecause they're not good for my,
you know, mental health orthey're just toxic people or I

(49:19):
don't like their lack ofintegrity or they're not a
person of their word.
I'm a.
I'm really big on integrity,meaning if you say you're going
to do something, you do it.
And there are just a lot ofpeople in my life who maybe
they're fun to be around and youknow they're exciting and all
this other stuff and good vibes,but they will leave you on read
, they won't reply, they'll sayone thing and they'll do another

(49:39):
thing, and they treat you oneway and then do another thing
another way.
So those people are in a newcategory of mind where I'm like
I'm going to invest so littleenergy into this because it's
robbing me of my peace and alsoI'd rather be surrounded by
people like yourself who dosomething.
They say something and thenthey do something.
So if I call you a person ofintegrity, that's like the
highest compliment I can give,and if you aren't that person of

(50:01):
integrity, I will spend lessand less time with you.
But you know, I still treatpeople with respect and if they
want to reach out and have thecapacity, I'm glad to spend time
, but otherwise, that's whatI've been doing.

Aeden (50:12):
Wow.
Props to that.
I definitely feel that.
I think that's the challengefor myself as well.
I think it's funny that youasked this question, because I
feel like I gave you the answerliterally like a couple of days
ago, when we actually I gave itto you before we even started
recording today.
But as I am deciding to let goof some of my side hustles so

(50:35):
that I can focus more on myself,I have started doing daily
retros for myself, and so I havea tracker in which, every day,
I record some of my metrics thatI would like to track.
So how much water did I drink?
What did I eat that day?
I don't necessarily caloriecount, I just look at what did I
eat, I track my weight and myexercise and then I list out my

(51:01):
three L's, which is a veryproject manager type thing.
It's my liked, learned andlacked for the day.
So what did I like about today,what did I enjoy, what did I
learn from the things thathappened, or what did I take out
of it, and what did I feel wasmissing in my day, or what did I
fail to achieve in that day?
And this daily practice, Ithink, has really forced me to,

(51:27):
in some instances, sit insilence because I'll sit there
and I was like what was the day?
What did I do?
What did I?
Where did I go?
Who did I talk to?
And I found myself yesterdayactually sitting there trying to
fill out this retro and I waslike, oh, I have a ton of stuff.
I liked Great session at thestudio, I had fun dancing.
I got to talk to folks that Ihadn't spoken to in a while.

(51:50):
I was like I don't feel like Ilearned anything and I don't
feel like I lacked anything, andmy desire was to like close the
chapter and be like okay, I'mdone.
But I forced myself to sitthere and I was like, no, no, no
, I had to have learnedsomething and I had to have
lacked something, because no dayis ever perfect.
And that really pushed me tostart looking at things, like,

(52:12):
okay, so I drank enough waterand I ate enough, but did I eat
too much?
I was like, no, I really onlyhad two meals, but those meals
were huge, and so I was like,okay, so what?
I really only had two meals,but those meals were huge, and
so I was like, okay, so what I'mlacking is portion control.
So if I want to improve my diet, that's something I need to
look at.
And now that I've been able toidentify it by forcing myself to
sit there in silence for fiveminutes and reflect I now have

(52:34):
actionable next steps to improvemy subsequent days.
And doing the same thing withthe learned section really helps
me to find gratitude for thatday, because if I didn't learn
anything, I just liked it.
I feel like I'm kind of justpassively rolling through my
days.
But I focused on okay, what didI learn?

(52:54):
And I try to make thesedistinct from my liked and my
lacked.
So I wouldn't say I learnedthat I lacked xyz or I learned
that I liked abc.
So for me I was like okay, intoday I learned that sometimes
it takes me five minutes tofigure out what I learned.

(53:14):
Sometimes it takes that silenceokay, great.
So now that I know that, movingforward, when I do my retros, I
know to allot myself a littlebit some quiet time so that I
can appropriately fill this out.
And the nice thing about thisis because I'm able to plan so
much of this out, it makes mysubsequent days a lot more calm.

(53:34):
I don't feel as stressed to belike oh my god, what am I doing?
Like what happened today.
I don't need to question that,because now I know, because I've
reflected and I've also foundthat as I do this, each of my
subsequent retros get longer andlonger.
I have like more to say eachtime, and so I find that my new
challenge now isn't to just fillit out, but to fill it out more

(53:55):
precisely, to pinpoint morethings, versus have like huge
overarching things.
So daily retros love them.

J.R. (54:04):
Yeah, I like that, and I think, if you have one takeaway
from this, if I'd recommendsomething to improve anyone's
life immediately or, I guess,significantly in the long term,
is to have daily reflections orconsistent reflections, whether
that be weekly, monthly oryearly.
I mean, I do all those I dodaily, weekly, monthly, yearly.
But if you do that, that canorient you more towards your

(54:26):
goals rather than kind ofmindlessly going through your
day or your life, and I thinkthat'll help you to achieve what
you really want and you'llunderstand yourself better,
which is a theme of this wholeshow is self-awareness and
really knowing who you are.
I think you can't do thatunless you're intentionally
reflecting.

Aeden (54:41):
So it's a good practice, which is really funny to me
because I feel like this takesme full circle.
This is the kind of practicethat I learned from you and I
wanted to do, because I've heardabout and seen your daily,
weekly, monthly, yearlyreflections and that's how I'm
trying to set myself up, becauseI want to also increase my own
self-awareness as I encountermore people who are like I'm

(55:04):
super self-aware and they aren't.
But going back to hypocrisies,right, like things that just irk
me, yeah, I like it.

J.R. (55:14):
Okay, we have room for one more, so that's your okay, okay
juicy, juicy.

Aeden (55:19):
This one is a little self-serving for me, just
because I would like to learnmore from you as someone who's
been in project management for anumber of years what are some
of your top tips, things thatyou find to be most useful, most
effective, that you thinkanyone can benefit from okay,

(55:39):
would you like to go first?

J.R. (55:40):
oh?
Right god, I have to take mygood question.
No, it's a great question, butwould you like to go first?

Aeden (55:47):
yeah, I think something that I learned in project
management which I have found tobe very invaluable, is my
manager told me as a projectmanager, if you don't know it,
no one knows it, and so alwaysask questions, always ask for
more, and I think that hashelped me to not only become a

(56:10):
better project manager, butbecome a better communicator.
So now, even in working withfriends, or even on a dance team
or in the vocal studio,sometimes I'll just ask
questions, I'll just keep askingquestions, and I find that that
not only helps me to betterunderstand what's going on,
where people are coming from,how to navigate relationships,

(56:33):
but also puts me in a positionin which I can now help everyone
, or I can contribute toeveryone, facilitating the
conversation, yeah, and theinformation flow, which is
critical for a team trying toachieve something.
Exactly, and I think for workthe teams are very formalized,
but in a personal or likeinterpersonal relationship it's
not as formal, but the impact isthe same.
So I find that being curious,being open and being willing to

(56:59):
ask questions is a huge, hugestrength of a project manager
that pays in dividends in allareas of life.

J.R. (57:08):
Nice.
I like that Highly, agree withthat, so I'll throw in another
one.
That I think is very helpful is, I think one of the biggest and
most important things I'velearned in project management,
team building, stuff like that,etc.
Is like empowerment of yourteam.
I learned this in Scrum andproject management a long time
ago.
But it's like a team thatrelies on a leader or a

(57:32):
bottleneck or a manager to tellpeople what to do moves
significantly more slowly than ateam that is full of leaders
who are empowered to makedecisions and act faster and
leverages their creativity andskills to get the job done
better, kind of like a piratecrew, one piece sort of thing.
Right, and leaning into thisthing is how do I empower people

(57:53):
to make them do better work?
And on top of that, it's how doI get them to buy into an idea
that will improve everyone'slives or the whole process?
And I think, just on that pointitself of buy-in, it's so
important to get people to buyin, and it's not by me telling
you what the right thing is, butit's to engage everyone in the
conversation of how can weimprove this.

(58:14):
And it might be my idea or itmight be someone else's idea,
but the fact that they're inthis conversation and they're
like okay, here's our threeoptions.
What do you guys think?
And if everyone gets to this,okay, this is our top option and
we do it.
That buy-in is way moreimportant than me, as the leader
or manager or whatever, tellingthem you should do this because
now they're just followingorders, as opposed to now
everyone's bought in, that thisis the best solution.

(58:36):
We should all adopt it.
And because they're all boughtinto it, they're going to do it
without question or they'regoing to just they're more sold
on it, right?
So I think that's the biggestthing I've learned about
leadership or project managementis getting people kind of
engaged in that process so thatthey buy in, and then that's
where the change happens andthat's where the empowerment
happens and that's where thebetter pirate crew I mean, sorry
, team happens.

Aeden (58:58):
yeah wow, yeah, that, I think that's really cool.
I like that.
I super applicable because oneof one of the jobs I have right
now.
We're going through a lot oftransition.
It's very top down and we'remeeting a lot of resistance and
so when you were describing that, I was like dang, they should
have just hired you, thanks,thanks, I'll let them know.

J.R. (59:19):
I'll let them know it's not too late cool all right, any
last thoughts we're at timewe'll do wrap up, but anything
else on that before we go tocome to a close for people who
like to be organized, I wouldsay, get some sort of board
going.
I think board, board managementor like a project management or
like, yeah, like a, like atrello or some sort of thing

(59:40):
that, or like even your ownpost-it notes on the wall or
something, right, yeah?

Aeden (59:43):
at that I find has been super helpful in helping me
manage even like small thingsfrom like everyday tasks to big
things like year-long projects.
Personally I enjoy that a lot.
So if folks want some sort oforganization system, I would
recommend looking into projectmanagement boards.

J.R. (01:00:01):
Nice, cool, all right, we'll go to closing questions.
We'll keep that consistent.
So first is always gratitude.
Shout out to my mom, aiden,what are you grateful for?

Aeden (01:00:11):
I am once again grateful for this wonderful, beautiful
podcast space and our wonderfulproducer.
Thanks, Solomon and ourwonderful producer.
Thanks, solomon, thank you, oh,you're welcome.
I am also thankful for jr forhosting this podcast, creating
this podcast and giving folks aplatform to learn from each

(01:00:33):
other, and I'm grateful for mytherapist Nice, yeah, yeah,
shout out to her.
I haven't shouted her outenough.

J.R. (01:00:44):
There you go.
You're changing lives bychanging this dude's life.
Thank you, I'll give mine justreal quick Gratitude to everyone
listening and contributing tothis show, all of my guests,
obviously, podcast Place,solomon and everyone who's
watching, listening, subscribingand giving all the love and
support.
You know this is like a.
It's a fun project that I lovedoing, a passion project of mine

(01:01:05):
that I would do regardless, andI appreciate that people still,
that people get value out of itregardless, because you know
that's a.
That's kind of like aperipheral benefit for me is
that if you guys enjoy this,it's great.
Um, so I appreciate that.
So any feedback, I'm alwaysopen to that and if you have any
requests or referrals andwhatnot, or any topics you want
me to talk about or guests youwant me to have on, please let

(01:01:27):
me know.
But I'm grateful to follow youguys All right, and any final
ask or takeaways you'd like themto have from this conversation.
I know it's kind of like arandom show, but any final ask
aside from getting out your ownproject board, Hmm final ask.

Aeden (01:01:40):
I'd say ask good questions, stay curious Nice.

J.R. (01:01:47):
Also the theme of the show Cool.
And last question, Aiden, wherecan they find you if they want
to connect or see what you're upto?

Aeden (01:01:55):
I am primarily on Instagram at Aiden Anthony,
spelled A-E-D-E-N-T-H-O-N-Y.
My link tree is there as well,so that'll link to my YouTube
where you can watch some of myother artistic endeavors dancing
, singing, my short videos orshort films, whatever you call
them, and yeah.

J.R. (01:02:18):
Cool.
All right, Aiden.
That's a wrap.
Thank you so much for beinghere again.
I really appreciate it.
I know we have legendaryconversations that can go on for
hours, but it's nice to have itrecorded for posterity and for
you know, all of eternity, untilthe internet dies.
So thank you for being here.
And my final sign off, thankyou guys for listening and
tuning in.
I really appreciate it Reminderto always be kind to other

(01:02:40):
people, especially yourself, andreminder that you can always
learn something from someone ifyou take the time to listen.
So thanks for being here, thankyou.

All Episodes

#31: Random Show w/ Aeden Pham - Karaoke Enthusiasts, Project Management Tips, and Unexpected Hot Takes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Dateline NBC

Stuff You Should Know

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#31: Random Show w/ Aeden Pham - Karaoke Enthusiasts, Project Management Tips, and Unexpected Hot Takes