Host J.R. welcomes his mother, Marie Potts, for a heartfelt conversation exploring her life experiences, parenting philosophy, and the values that shaped their family.
• Growing up in Northern California as the oldest of five siblings and becoming a mother at a young age
• The importance of unconditional love in parenting
• Why generosity of spirit matters even when you don't have much materially
• Animal advocacy work and the ethical problems with breeding versus adoption
• The connection between gratitude and quality of life
• How focusing on what you're grateful for changes your perspective
• The importance of addressing root causes rather than just complaining about problems
• Teaching others as a way to create lasting positive change
Guest bio:
A Bay Area native, Marie grew up in Vallejo, is the oldest of 5, and a mother of three. She later moved to the East Bay where her three children grew up through junior high and high school. She has worked in the pharmaceutical industry for 20+ years.
Fun fact: She is the mother of the host of this show!
- IG: @nwta3 / https://www.instagram.com/nwta3/
Links/resources:
- Food, Inc. (movie on food production - Wikipedia)
- Crossbody Messenger Bag (Amazon affiliate link)
- Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder (audiobook - Amazon affiliate link)
- I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi (audiobook - Amazon affiliate link)
One Thousand Gurus Podcast:
Everyone has a compelling story to tell with insights we can all be inspired by. J.R. Yonocruz is a self-improvement blogger, relationship coach, and serial hobbyist with a passion for learning. He interviews unique guests from various fields to distill the strategies, habits, and mindsets we can use in our own lives. Each “guru” has a chance to give the audience a peek into a new world.
www.onethousandgurus.com
Instagram: @OneThousandGurus
TikTok: @onethousandgurus
YouTube: One Thousand Gurus Podcast
Email: onethousandgurus@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
J.R. (00:00):
Hello everyone and welcome back to another fun episode of
1000 Gurus with me, your host,jr Yonacruz.
Today's guest is a very specialguest, marie Potts.
Marie grew up in Vallejo.
Oldest of five, she is themother of three and moved to
East Bay and Milpitas Fremont inNorthern California where her
three children grew upthroughout junior, high and high
(00:20):
school.
She currently works in thepharmaceutical industry and has
done so for the last 20 yearsand, interesting fact, she is
the mother of the host of thisshow.
I told her to throw that in but,like I said, this was a very
special episode because I wasn'tsure if this would ever happen.
But my mom and I were planninga trip to see her family in the
East Coast, specificallyPennsylvania, and she wanted to
fly down from NorCal to my areato hang out first so that we
(00:43):
could fly together, but then Ifigured she might as well just
jump on the podcast.
Then we can have a funconversation recorded that we
can look back on.
It was fun and delightful tohave my mom because she also
listens to pretty much everysingle episode, so she is an
avid listener and fan of theshow.
I thought it'd be a funopportunity for you, the
audience to see how amazing sheis.
I might be a little biased tosee how amazing she is.
(01:04):
I might be a little biased Bestmom in the world, you know.
So we talk about her maininfluences, her upbringing,
parenting, animal advocacy and,of course, mindsets of gratitude
.
I absolutely love doing thisrecording and you can tell we
had a lot of fun with this.
I was teasing my mom a bitabout who her favorite child was
.
Spoiler alert it's me.
It's always fun spending timewith my mom, so it's a double
win that you can't really beat.
So, without further ado, I hopeyou enjoy this episode with
(01:27):
Marie Potts.
Hello everyone and welcome backto 1000 Gurus.
Please welcome my guest and mymother Marie Potts.
Marie (01:35):
Thank you.
J.R. (01:36):
Thanks for being here, mom .
This is a special, almostunexpected episode, because we
are actually planning to govisit family in East Coast
tomorrow, right Friday throughSunday-ish Visit family because
a lot of your family's overthere, and so she was going to
fly down so we can fly together.
But I was like, hey, mom, whydon't you just come on the
podcast, since we have the wholeday together?
So she booked an earlier flightso that she can come down, we
(01:59):
can hang out, and so now she'shere.
Marie (02:01):
Thank you for having me.
J.R. (02:02):
Yeah, I was prefacing this to Solomon too.
I was like I think the onlypeople who listen to every
single episode is you andSolomon.
So in this room we have all thelisteners of 1000 Gurus.
So, yeah, it's going to besuper fun.
Marie (02:17):
I'm very excited to be here.
J.R. (02:18):
Yeah, cool.
So let's go into how I know you.
So I think you were the firstperson I met in life.
I don't remember it, obviously,but I assume you're the first
person I met.
And then, yeah, you're my mom.
So I I don't know what else tosay I live with you for the
first 18 years of my life and,yeah, now I'm here and you're in
(02:40):
NorCal.
I don't know if people know this, but like most of my immediate
family, all of my immediatefamily's in NorCal, I'm the only
one down here.
So it's nice that I come up tovisit the Bay Area Milpitas,
fremont, let's say on averagethree to four times a year.
So I'll see you and dad, mysister, my two brothers, but I
don't really see my friendsbecause it's just for the
weekend.
So, yeah, that's pretty much it.
(03:01):
But then you've been comingdown a few times, which I
appreciate.
So, like my mom can, I can showher all my stomping grounds
around here and we can eat foodand stuff like that.
Any clarifications, anything?
What are you up to?
What are you?
Marie (03:13):
up to nowadays.
Just, I always look forward tovisiting my kids, of course, and
I always look forward to comingout here to visit you, even if
it's just overnight.
I feel like you have to.
Time goes we talked about this,but time flies and as you get
older, you're going to noticethat too.
(03:33):
So I think my prioritiesespecially is to see my kids,
and since you guys are all indifferent locations, I have to
go to different locations.
J.R. (03:44):
Yeah, that was planned out .
We're like, hey, when we growup, let's all spread out so that
we can make things moredifficult for you.
I was going to ask so, as anavid listener of 1000 Gurus,
what draws you to our show, whydo you like our show, why do you
listen to it?
Marie (04:06):
Well, it really.
I'm sure you know the time thatgoes into this.
I'm your mother, but I'm what.
I'm just completely amazed atwhat you do and for you
listening to other people and Ilearned a lot from just
listening to them.
I hear different things andthey ask very good questions.
I'm very familiar with all ofthose and I value the fact that
(04:28):
you listen to them, and I alsovalue the fact that they're very
transparent and very personal.
There are a lot of personalthings that they mention on the
show and that can affect otherpeople and listeners out there
in your audience, so I thinkit's a great thing that you do.
J.R. (04:47):
Thank you.
Yeah, I appreciate that.
I'm grateful to have a lot ofgreat guests on the show with a
lot of good experience and thegenerosity of the spirit of
wanting to share that with otherpeople, especially on my
platform.
It's not like I'm a hugeplatform and it's not like it's
blown up or anything, so themcoming out here.
I always appreciate that.
Yeah, and to touch base on, ifyou guys have listened to any
episode, usually you'll hear atthe end it's like we end with
(05:09):
gratitude Shout out to my mom.
So what I mean by that if youdon't, if it's not a very
apparent is growing up, my momwould always say things can be
tough or things are tough, butthen what you focus on is more
important, Meaning my siblingsand I or my sister and I would
complain about stuff, right, askids do.
I always remember my mom beinglike well, like you have to
focus on what you're gratefulfor, Cause obviously things can
(05:30):
go wrong and things are bad, butit's if you focus on what
you're grateful for, you'llalways have enough, and I think
you have more than you have, butif you're always focused on the
negatives, you're obviouslygoing to complain no-transcript.
Marie (06:06):
When you're listening to people because they want to vent
or they want someone just tolisten to them, and sometimes
when you don't have anything ormaybe you can't think of, it's
always good and it's always thebest thing, and I've always
turned to.
Well, you know, what do youhave to be grateful for?
Like your children are healthy,you're healthy.
(06:27):
It's got to be there at the topof the list, right?
So we can always find somethingto be grateful and that'll make
us feel better too.
J.R. (06:34):
Yeah, definitely, it's one of those Tony Robbins things
too, where it's like thegratitude is the strongest
emotion or mindset that you canhave and it roots you in the
present, rather than too muchfuture anxiety, too much past
depression.
If you're grateful for themoment, it's like one of the
strongest emotions you can stateyou can put yourself in.
One thing I was thinking abouta while ago was this idea well,
we'll talk about family andparenting in a bit.
(06:55):
That's one of our topics but iswhen you do a lot of those
reflections I've done thesereflections over the years.
What are the main things thatI've gotten from my parents?
Right, you and dad and I thinkit's similar across the board
Both of you guys are verygrateful people but also very
generous people.
I think that's one of the thingsthat I would label, or what I
got from my childhood is likegrowing up we didn't have a lot.
(07:18):
We didn't really come from a lotof like money and, I guess,
wealth and privilege and statusand all this stuff right, like,
mostly we got by and whatnot.
But what I always remember isthat both you and dad were
always very generous people,even when I was a kid.
Beyond what I felt wasnecessary.
I talked about this in one ofmy other episodes, but it's if
we barely have enough, why arewe being generous to other
(07:40):
people?
And so that always stood out tome, like you and dad both did.
That it's like you're alwaysgenerous, giving to other people
and even beyond what I thoughtwas necessary.
But I think now what I'velearned and appreciate is that
that has like an ROI beyond justthe money and the relationships
.
But I think if you have agenerosity of spirit that fills
(08:01):
you up in more different waysthan just like the money aspect
of it, and I think if youapproach life in the universe
with that generosity, I feellike you have a higher quality
of life.
So that's one thing that I tookfrom you and dad.
Marie (08:12):
That's great Thank you.
Yeah, I'm glad.
J.R. (08:15):
Cool Anything else that you're up to that you want to
touch on before we get intoregular topics?
Marie (08:21):
Well, I do want to say one thing about before we leave
that topic.
What you're saying aboutgenerosity is that and you
probably heard this from.
Like other people also, wealways have to remember that we
don't have to be rich to give toto other people.
Even if you are barely gettingby, you can always help someone
or give a little bit ofsomething.
You don't have to be so richbefore you say okay, then I can
(08:45):
get yeah, I think that's.
J.R. (08:47):
I agree, generosity is a mindset, it's not a number in
your bank account.
Right, and we'll talk aboutthat generosity too, because my
mom practices what she preacheswhen she does a lot of giving
and like animal advocacy issomething that we're going to
talk about.
All right, so we'll go into thefirst topic origin story, main
influences, career trajectory,all this other stuff, just to
get out of the way.
So, mom, where did you grow up?
Marie (09:09):
so I grew up in narcal, more specifically in vallejo,
and then now I was born no,fairfield, fairfield which is
right next to vallejo rightright and then we moved to the
east bay, mel Melpitas andFremont, and then that's where
you guys went to junior high andhigh school eventually.
And I'm still there in Fremontwhere you come to visit Nice.
J.R. (09:33):
This is a very broad, general question, but what were
the main influences you had inyour life growing up?
Well, okay, so my mom is ayoung 29 years old and I'm 34.
So I don't know how that mathworks, but even though she's
young, she's also had a longlife.
And so, looking back at that,what do you think were the
biggest influences that shapedyou to who you are today?
Marie (09:56):
I would have to say early in my life, probably my parents
, of course, I feel like they'realways your first line or your
first influence my parents, andthen I think, just being a young
parent and being married early,and that all of that is a big
influence and a part of my lifeafter that.
J.R. (10:19):
How would you describe your parents?
And then my second question ishow young did you have kids?
Marie (10:28):
your parents.
And then my second question ishow young did you have kids?
My, my parents, I well, did youhave a specific thing about
more?
J.R. (10:33):
just, I know your parents but, like for the audience,
could you color paint a picturefor what they were like so that
we can see how maybe informs whoyou are so I they were very
more of the traditional.
Marie (10:46):
But then that's why I'm asking, because traditional can
mean a lot of things, yeah todifferent, different people and
even different cultures.
So well, I will say, for onething, my parents were very
strict, and one thing that I doreally respect about them is
that they always try to do whatis right and what they're
(11:09):
supposed to and how they'resupposed to raise their children
right, because there areparents who just don't.
And what I'll say is that Ithink that parents always, in
general, try to do what's bestfrom what they know right?
I think my parents were thatway.
Do we also have to remember?
(11:30):
But that parents are human,like when you grow up and you're
like, oh my, my parents arehuman too, so they make mistakes
, but I truly believe that theydid their best and they always
tried to do what they thoughtwas right.
J.R. (11:44):
Yeah, I guess we're getting into that topic of
parenting too.
But so it leads into the nextquestion, which is how young
were you when you got marriedand then when you had kids?
Because it's pretty young,since you're 29 and I'm 34.
So it must have been young.
Marie (11:58):
Well, I was young because I was actually married before I
was 18.
So before I became an adult, soI was actually married before I
was 18.
So before I became an adult, soI was actually emancipated.
That's what they call it anemancipated father, yeah, and
then shortly after that I hadyou guys.
J.R. (12:16):
So how old were you?
Marie (12:19):
So but she was negative four.
J.R. (12:23):
She was negative five when she had me.
Yeah, okay, I was.
My main question is because Ithink the whole parenting thing
informs, like I know the lorefrom what you've told me.
Growing up you had difficultrelationships with your parents
and then you wanted to move outand you got married and then
eventually you had us but therewas also, from my understanding,
like you and your siblings, mymom's the oldest of five and and
(12:44):
so, yeah, tough familysituation.
But then everyone wanted to getout of the house sooner than
later.
And then a lot of my cousinsare also like, or my aunts and
uncles had, my aunts had likekids when they were younger too.
Because I imagine when I waslike man, if when I was in my
early twenties, I couldn'timagine having kids, right, or I
could, but I'm like this wouldbe really hard, harder than if
it like for today, right, Ithink I'm more financially and
(13:07):
emotionally prepared to havekids now, but if I was in my
early 20s or 18 or whatever theage, I'd be like dang, that's
tough.
And, to your point again, it'salso like we do the best we can
with what we know and we allmake mistakes.
Marie (13:20):
So I guess that's what I was trying to get as there's a
lot of different lore there, butit makes sense yeah, yeah, and
we also live in different times,which that's that's a factor
too, but there were, there are alot of things involved with
that.
When you're a kid or that young, you don't know, don't really
(13:40):
know the best thing in you.
But your parents they want thebest for you and they try their
best for you, but you know theythere's not like a manual to
parenting, so, but I trulybelieve, and I'm very thankful
to my parents, that they did tryto do their best, based on what
(14:02):
they think how they shouldraise their kids.
So so I really really respectthat.
J.R. (14:06):
See, gratitude, she's just .
Every answer is just.
I'm thankful this is what I grewup on.
So, yeah, like, obviously mymom was like a young parent.
My sister's two years olderthan me, and so I remember
growing up a lot People would belike, oh, oh, your little
sister and your little brotherreferring to me and my sister,
right, because my mom like looksso young.
And then we were like I waslike 11.
My sister was like 13.
(14:26):
And people would mistaken herfor like our older sister, and
so she would get that and she'dbe like, oh, and she would tell
us about this, like okay, mom,you're so young, like that was a
compliment, right.
Marie (14:39):
Thank you, yeah, definitely.
J.R. (14:41):
Since we're on parenting, that's like the next topic and I
know we want to talk about liketraditional versus new
parenting, or what kind ofparents I would want to be, or
the role of family.
This is a big question, butwhat was your experience like?
You have three kids now mysister, myself, and then my
younger brother, who is a thirdyear, finishing his third year
in college in Hawaii right, yearin college in Hawaii, right.
(15:02):
My question as an audiencemember would be like what was
that experience like?
What were some of thechallenges and what were some of
the lessons learned?
so I don't know if you have anythoughts on those super easy it
all turned out well.
We're not in jail.
Marie (15:17):
None of us have kids well , one thing I can say is I'm
blessed because I, even growingup and discussing like with
other parents parents alwayscompare this and that.
But if we do compare it andthat's happened and I've always
sometimes I'd be like, well, Idon't have like those problems
(15:38):
and they're like really problems, like on both ends of the
spectrum right.
Really bad to really good,problems like on both ends of
the spectrum, right From reallybad to really good.
But I've always been so luckyand blessed that I never had to
really go through some of theexperiences that I've heard
other people had.
So it's not easy, but I don'tthink it was.
I've said it's been as tough assome other that I've heard.
J.R. (16:03):
Yeah, so you're grateful.
Marie (16:06):
Well, yes, in fact I think I mentioned this to you
guys I wish and sometimes peoplewere like what you would want
to have more kids.
I'm like, yeah, I will.
More specifically, I would wantto have two of you, two of your
sister and two of your brother.
So I've always wanted twins.
I wouldn't have wanted more.
J.R. (16:27):
My brother always jokes because my mom always mentions
that she wants, wanted twins,and wants twins and wants twin
grandkids and it's like that'snot up to us, that's up to
genetics and we're not reallystacked for that genetic lineup
since none of us are twins.
But my brother always jokes.
He's like what mom?
Marie (16:51):
Am I not good enough for you?
You need two of me, am I notenough?
So I've always being a youngparent though you would think
that, and also I think that'swhy I brought up that I've had.
Where I'm the oldest of five isusually when people have to
take care of their siblings andthings.
Usually I've heard them say, oh, I don't want kids for a while,
and it's hard.
Yeah, it was very tough,because I was to care of my
siblings, my parents wereworking and what have you.
I think that's what I should doanyways as the older sister.
(17:17):
But after I got older, I stillwanted to.
I wasn't the one who said, oh,I don't want any kids for now.
I always wanted kids.
I don't know why, but I'vealways wanted to.
I wasn't the one who said, oh,I don't want any kids for now.
I always wanted kids.
I don't know, you know why, butI've always wanted kids, even
young, even when I was even tobe a young parent.
Yeah, I didn't.
I guess obviously everythingelse didn't come first.
(17:40):
It was having kids first.
J.R. (17:42):
Yeah.
So then you helped raise yoursiblings and then you're like
you know what?
I also want kids.
It's a completely oppositedirection of what someone might
want to do.
Okay, so, were there anynotable challenges?
This is a very weird subjectivequestion, but what are the
biggest challenges of being ayoung parent?
Because I think again, for thesake of people relating or
(18:02):
wanting to hear the story, or ifthey want to become parents,
right?
I don't know if you have anythings that come to mind of like
challenges and or advice forparents.
You are the second parent I'vehad on the show, so this is
helpful advice for usnon-parents.
Marie (18:15):
It's.
I think the challenges werelike more financially, Unless
you're you're born into wealth,then you have to.
You're born into wealth, thenyou have to.
That's just one of the thingsthat you have to go through and
navigate your way through andnot really knowing the best,
like knowing what I know now andwhat I knew back then.
I think that's the main, that'sthe biggest challenge.
(18:38):
Yeah.
J.R. (18:39):
Any advice for like parents, younger parents or
people who want to becomeparents for like parents,
younger parents or people whowant to become parents, having
experienced the last, howevermany years with three kids?
Marie (18:52):
Well, I don't really know what to say, because I think
everyone's parenting ways isdifferent.
J.R. (19:01):
Helpful advice.
Obviously, everyone's situationis different, but words of
wisdom.
Marie (19:07):
I think for me, I think what I learned from my parents.
My advice is don't be so strictwith your kids.
Listen to them more, althoughbe firm, but listen to them and
don't be so strict.
J.R. (19:23):
My opinion about that is that being too strict will… Make
them want to leave the houseand get married early and have
three kids and then end up onone of the kids' podcasts.
Makes sense.
Thanks, grandparents, all right.
Well, I guess last thing onthis is who is your favorite kid
and what would you give….
Marie (19:42):
What score would you give us out of 100?
That was not on the board.
J.R. (19:46):
She always says I don't have a favorite.
I love all my kids equally, butI'm pretty sure she has a
favorite.
Marie (19:54):
No, that's not possible.
J.R. (19:56):
He's sitting right here.
That's the favorite.
Marie (20:00):
Well, that's not possible .
People who say that I don'tknow.
I think there are parents whohave favorites, because I've
observed that.
But I can't.
It's not possible for me.
That's really what I think.
J.R. (20:16):
Solomon's nodding.
Solomon, do you have a favoritechild?
No, but my sister does.
So there are parents who havefavorites.
He's like, yeah, I know some.
Yeah, I subscribe to that too.
I know my mom said that growingup I don't have a favorite and
I feel like that's the mosthealthy mindset you can have,
because obviously some parentsfeel like they do have favorites
and all this.
But that's so toxic becauseit's like I can't, yeah, I can't
(20:38):
imagine that.
Yeah if you were to give us ascore from zero to a hundred,
yeah what would each what's atiscore?
what would my score be?
What's jacob's score?
Marie (20:49):
all three, a hundred boo, that's to me.
J.R. (20:52):
Three first place trophies boo.
Marie (20:54):
No, that's not.
J.R. (20:58):
That question was in the Okay, but which child brought
you onto a podcast?
Maybe that's the tiebreaker.
Marie (21:06):
There's still no favorites.
J.R. (21:08):
Okay, which one was the easiest to raise, and then,
consequently, who was the mostdifficult?
Marie (21:16):
I don't have an answer for that.
Who?
J.R. (21:18):
asks for the most venmo requests or money and who asks
for the least amount of money?
Marie (21:24):
well, okay, there is.
I know I thought about thisbefore, but you going to when
you're in college, I don't everremember you asking for money,
that's damn straight.
That's definitely a fact, Okay.
J.R. (21:41):
I'll take it.
I just needed something onvideo that proves that I'm the
superior child.
Marie (21:46):
No, but you're not the superior child, but in terms of
financial costs.
J.R. (21:50):
I don't really ask for anything.
Marie (21:53):
But I do have to give you that that you put your self
through college and everythingand for all these years I never
really thought of that.
But you've never, you've never,you never asked me for for
money or to help you withanything yeah, nice, cool, nice,
at least I have that.
J.R. (22:12):
I know I prioritize a lot of like independence and
obviously financial wise Ialways wanted be good with money
, but you did help me pay offsome of my student loans.
I remember that because.
Marie (22:21):
But you never asked.
J.R. (22:22):
Yeah, that's true.
My mom's the type of person tojust give, even if I don't ask.
I appreciate it, obviously.
But I tell the story to some ofmy friends too.
Because I had such a littleamount of student loan debt
after I graduated by designbecause I was trying to save
money like housing.
I became an RA because I wantedto save money.
I could save like 12 grandbecause of that, always kept my
(22:43):
expenses low so that when Igraduated I had not as
significantly less than myfriends, and so I lived on my
dad's couch for eight months andput 80% of my paycheck towards
my student loans so I can pay itoff before the interest kicks
in or like the fees and stuff.
And so my mom also helped meout with that.
So I'll shout out you for that,because I was trying to pay it
off sooner than later.
But yeah, I think.
(23:04):
Yeah also try not to ask foranything too, because that's
just what I wanted to do.
So I guess by that answer wecan assume that my sister and my
brother both asked for money.
Marie (23:13):
So no, that's not what I said.
J.R. (23:15):
That's what she said.
It's recorded.
Marie (23:17):
I just wanted to get something down I just said that
you never asked for money goingokay, yes, okay, true, you have
given me money and I appreciateit.
J.R. (23:26):
But, you're right, I don't really remember asking, so,
okay, cool, I'll take it.
Okay.
Something else on parenting.
You said I don't know if youwant to ask what kind of parent
I want to be, but I also want toask the role of family
traditional versus new parenting.
I like this idea ofunconditional love because
that's something that you'veshown me and it's something that
I like to practice and how Iperceive my own relationships of
(23:47):
how to approach them.
But did you have anything ontraditional versus new parenting
?
Marie (23:52):
I think if we start with unconditional, I think that's a
good place to start, because theone thing that I always know
and I always say and it is myopinion is that your kids never
ask you to be here.
So I feel that it's theparents' responsibility when
(24:15):
they bring their kids into thisworld, and so by that, I feel
that what you give them or whatyou do for them, or even what
they need, that's unconditionalBecause, like I said, the thing
is that they never asked you tobe here.
You brought them into thisworld.
I feel like you're responsible,and some people may not agree
with that and also some peoplemay say oh, I did this for you.
(24:38):
That's just like my pet peeve isthe parents that you know that
say, well, I did this for youand I paid for this.
I paid for that I that's nobecause you brought them into
this world, even if they don'task for something.
But if you've given themsomething, I feel like you.
You should do thatunconditionally.
(24:58):
And then, at the most, youshouldn't say I did this for you
when you were, when you were akid, and so you should do this
or whatever, or expect somethingright, right.
J.R. (25:11):
That's one thing that I do appreciate significantly and
distinctly about you and dad isthat you guys never I know that
other parents are not like this,but you guys never said, oh,
because I did this, you need todo this.
And I feel like you guys settingthat example helped me to have
my own boundaries with otherpeople as well, because I wasn't
raised in this quid pro quo, oh, because you did this for me.
(25:33):
And that's not love, that'sconditional love, right and so
approaching relationships thesame way friends and whatnot is
if you want to give, you give,you don't give to receive
because it's conditional,because it's like reciprocal,
and so I think that's what I'vereally latched on to, especially
like where I'm at at life now.
When I think aboutrelationships, when I think
(25:53):
about giving, I think if it'sreciprocal, if I'm expecting
something from someone, that'sthe unhealthy pattern that I
don't want to get into.
But I think it's easier for mecompared to some of my friends
or other people I know, becausemaybe they had that growing up
or something, I don't know but Ido appreciate that conditional
versus unconditional love,anything else on that, or
parenting styles.
Marie (26:13):
I think that that's pretty much it.
I think if you start from therewhen you are a parent, then you
won't regret anything, or youwon't.
You'll save you heartache,because a lot of parents I see
them with that expectation,especially when they get older.
Oh, how come my son or mydaughter went out?
J.R. (26:32):
on their own.
Marie (26:33):
What about me?
That's not how it's supposed tobe.
You chose to have them right.
So and again, parenting isdifferent from every generation,
but it doesn't always mean thatyou will or you have to follow
what your parents or their styleof parenting.
I think you'll think foryourself and then you'll do also
(26:56):
what you think is best, whichmay be the same or similar or
maybe completely different, butas long as you feel like they
don't owe you anything, I thinkyou're better off regardless of
what your parenting style is.
J.R. (27:14):
I think if you start from there, so, starting parenting
from a lens of or from aperspective of I'm not giving to
my kids so that they can giveback to me, but starting with
I'm just here to give and raisemy kids to be sensible adults or
whatnot, and starting fromthere, then you can't really go
wrong.
Or basically just startingpoint I I feel that way, yeah I
(27:35):
like that.
Okay, now we can switch over to.
If you had any other thoughts.
Otherwise, we can switch overto animal advocacy, because I
know this is a big passion ofyours, a big focus point.
You foster or have a lot ofcats I don't know, the number
was six more and you're reallybig into that.
You like volunteer work.
You do, let's see, like rescuework, volunteer work and stuff
(27:57):
like that, and you're way moreknowledgeable than I am, so I'd
like to pick your brain on thathow did?
you get into it.
Why is it important to you?
Marie (28:03):
maybe we start there well , I think it just started with
one and when we see a lot ofanimals for people who don't
have pets or don't deal withanimals all the time we see
animals here and there and wehear about them, but then when
you actually rescue one or youhelp one, then that makes a
difference.
So then when you do that Ithink that's probably what
(28:27):
changed a lot of things for meand then you help that one which
is just like sick it's whatusually you do when you rescue
and then comes more and it'shard to turn your back on a sick
animal.
So that's where it started.
So I just started volunteeringand looking into what they do
(28:51):
and then, more importantly, likethe problems in the community
or problems with this wholeanimal thing that people
complain about there's too manyanimals of this and that they
don't really do anything exceptfor complain.
Why is?
Why do we have this problem?
Do you just not, do you justnot see what's going on?
(29:12):
Or you just turn the other wayso it doesn't what's going on,
or you just turn the other wayso it doesn't really affect you
as much.
But when you start helping them, then you really start to see
and you see more of what's goingon and the problems that people
complain about, like there'stoo many cats, too many dogs and
this and that.
(29:32):
So I think when you do go intothat, then you start to realize
really what the problem is andhow you can help.
J.R. (29:40):
What do you think is something that most people don't
know about this idea of animaladvocacy?
I know specifically if it'sstray animals or there's like an
animal population problem orsomething like that, or
oversaturation of animals inshelters and whatnot.
As a non-pet owner, I don't ownany pets, but I know a lot of
(30:00):
my friends do, so I'm not reallyinto it.
I don't really know like thedetails of that, but I do know a
lot of my friends.
A lot of people advocate foradopt, don't shop and you go to
shelters and you rescue and allthat stuff.
But then there's also you toldme about this before but like
breeding private breeders,that's a really bad thing
because it contributes to theproblem.
Also, there's a lot of animalsthat need homes and things like
(30:21):
that.
So there's a lot of stuff.
I didn't know about it.
But what do you think issomething that people should
know or people you think thatpeople don't know about this
problem, this issue?
Marie (30:31):
And that's a really good point that you bring up, because
sometimes not everyone tend todo any harm or turn the other
way.
So sometimes they just don'tknow, because a lot of people
who love animals who have boughtthem from a breeder because, oh
, this one is so cute.
And that's okay, right, but nowmore than ever, there's a lot
(31:05):
of information out there and alot of things that we can tell
that breeding is… there's somany things.
J.R. (31:09):
There's just so many.
The listing just goes on and onabout breeding.
Marie (31:11):
It's very bad for animals .
It's very bad for animals.
It's very inhumane.
They go.
Even if you have, eventhroughout history, you've seen
the animals that have been bredthat have so many physical
problems because they breed thisdog with that way and this way.
They have certain you knowcharacteristics or physical
(31:34):
characteristics that theyshouldn't have, certain, um, you
know characteristics orphysical characteristics that
they shouldn't have.
But because humans want thistype of appearance, because they
want this size dog and to looklike this, that it doesn't
matter that the dogs are beingbred.
And so if, like I was tellingyou earlier, if I had to break
that down into three categories,is categories, the worst thing
(31:57):
is to buy from a breeder.
That's a very opinionatedstatement and maybe some people
disagree with that, but that'sdefinitely where I stand.
If you don't think that, thenyou have to really look more
into the information aboutbreeding and see what goes on
with those animals when theybreed animals.
(32:19):
Just because certain peoplewant those types of animals, and
also, when you do that, youcontribute to the demand for
them, and because the demand forthem is more, people pay more
and then people make morebecause they can sell them for
more.
It's just, there's nothing goodabout it I agree.
J.R. (32:39):
It seems like it's a net negative to society, to the
whole thing, to have that likebreeding problem.
It reminds us like ticketscalpers, right, like they're
just making a problem worse justby because of the demand and
supply.
But also it's connected to thisidea of unconditional versus
conditional, because you want ananimal specific to your specs
and it's a form of greed, butyou also what you won't love,
(33:02):
another animal who also requiresit, who was also already alive.
It's kind of, if you imaginebreeding children, right, okay,
let me breed these two people soI can get this exact looking
child, and then I'll love itright but then people are like
no, I want the specific type oflooking animal and then I will
love it, but it's like there's alot of animals out there, so
similar with people, similarwith animals.
So it seems like breeding islike a net negative.
Marie (33:24):
Yes, very so.
I've heard some of your guestssay adopt, don't shop, and what
they?
What they mean by that is weall know, without a doubt, that
there are way too many animalsin the shelters already they're
just over overfilled all thetime and a lot of animals out
there because animals don't havecontrol of how they reproduce
(33:48):
and how they multiply oranything like that.
So that that goes into what Iwanted to emphasize after that,
not only addressing the actualproblem, because I've heard, and
it infuriates me, that peoplesay, oh, there are too many cats
, there's too many dogs, andthey do this and they do that.
(34:08):
I wish they'd just get out ofour community.
So I volunteered for animalhotlines and animal rescues and
even like the shelters and it'sjust horrible and that's a lot
of things that people don't knowand people don't see.
But the thing is, what aboutaddressing?
(34:30):
Why, instead of complaining andjust being upset at the animals
, why don't we think about?
J.R. (34:36):
why?
Why in the solution Like why isthis problem here and what can
we do about it?
Marie (34:41):
Yeah, and not just trying to get rid of them.
That's inhumane also right.
What about trying to see whatthe problem is?
And so the other part ofrescuing is that helping
communities and helping them andteaching them how to control
the population by the spay andneutering so that they don't
(35:03):
have kittens and puppies right,because many animals get
euthanized all the time.
That's very sad.
But one step beyond that isteaching, like a community
themselves, to be able to helpcontrolling with the population
where they don't have so manycats, and it's not hurting them,
(35:24):
it's just helping them becausethey can't do it themselves.
And so when you teach people todo that, you're only one person
or you're only two people oryou're only one group.
But if you teach them orsomebody else to do that, then
they can do and teach somebodyelse, just like when you teach
somebody about finance.
It's one thing for you to beable to do it, but then for you
(35:47):
to teach somebody else is muchmore impactful.
It makes more of an impact,yeah, yeah.
J.R. (35:50):
Makes sense.
Else is much more impactful.
It makes more of an impact.
Yeah, yeah, makes sense.
It's crazy because, as someoneagain who doesn't really have
pets, sometimes you'll hear orI'll hear over the years, like
oh yeah, we can breed theseanimals and then we can sell, we
can make a lot of money.
So it's basically just afinancial thing for people, but
they don't realize there's ahuge ethical problem with that,
because they're just breedingthese live animals just for the
(36:11):
sake of economic gain, butthey're not seeing the
consequences just overpopulationor a lot of stray animals and
then people complain about it,not doing anything about it.
So I think to the point isawareness is key and then
teaching other people andadvocating and being part of the
solution is they're justcomplaining about the problem.
So there's a lot of things thatwe can all learn more from.
I think that's what I got fromit Anything else on animal
(36:34):
advocacy.
Marie (36:36):
I think that's a big part of it.
Covering that One is thatinstead of just complaining or
being hateful at the animals,think about first what they have
no control over, that and maybehow you can help with that.
J.R. (36:51):
Right, yeah, Good call to action.
We were talking about thisbeforehand too, but it was the
double standards of.
People can make their owndecisions in their diet, what
they eat vegetarian, notvegetarian, whatever.
Marie (37:03):
And then animals.
J.R. (37:04):
Right, we talked about that, but I was saying how, what
I learned in sustainability andpollution, overpopulation,
stuff like that a large reasonwhy we have a lot of pollution
nowadays is because of our foodproduction system, and a lot of
that is focused around meat anda lot of that is like to produce
a pound of, let's say, beeftakes so much water and so much
(37:26):
resources, so much land, so muchgrain, all this other stuff.
And so not saying everyoneshould become vegetarian, but
the natural progression offollowing the vegetarian arc is
that we do have a lot of lesswaste, a lot less pollution,
like a more ethical foodproduction system.
And so there's those placesthat advocate like meatless
(37:47):
Mondays or just reducing theamount of meat you consume and
putting it less on a pedestal,and so I'm an advocate for that.
I'm not gonna say that I'mgonna judge people who eat meat
or who don't eat meat, but Ithink it's something to consider
in terms of ethical treatmentof animals, because I think most
people you're so separated fromhow you get your food you just
put it in your mouth when it's aburger, but you don't realize
that all these cows, chickens,cows, chickens and pigs are kept
(38:13):
in these inhumane conditions,they're slaughtered, and then
all of that produces a lot ofwaste and then it goes into our
environment and then again ittakes a lot of water to create
like one pound of chicken, andso it contributes to all this
problem.
But I think if we just had moreawareness, that could be a start
to it.
Figuring out your diet, what'smore sustainable, things like
that, I think.
Just awareness and lessjudgment on other people too.
We can be fine with people'sdiet choices, but just don't
(38:34):
have a double standard injudging someone else on what
they eat and then vice versa andthat's oh, I'm better than you,
or something like that.
I don't think that's the way togo.
Marie (38:40):
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
You know what.
I appreciate that because ofall of that information that you
talked about, because eventhough, like you said, you, even
though you don't know too muchabout animals and maybe somebody
else doesn't know too muchabout what you talked about,
like the sustainability and howmuch waste we produce by this
and that, but all of thattogether and the awareness for
(39:02):
that, I think it's the bestthing, because we are, for one,
very disconnected from the foodthat we eat, even just from
burgers and chicken and thingslike that and pork, as opposed
to other people who go out andhunt their food and then they
eat it sustainably right, andthey don't over hunt or anything
like that, but they use allpart of the animal stuff.
J.R. (39:23):
Like that makes a lot of sense and it's more sustainable.
But our food production systemis vastly unsustainable and we
produce a lot of waste.
So like what?
40 50 percent of that food goesto waste anyways.
What are we wasting all theseresources for this system?
Just because people love meatand as the people it's like the
I don't get the whole puttingmeat on a pedestal.
It's okay, I get you like meat,but it's oh.
I could never do this because Ilove this thing so much, and
(39:46):
it's okay, fine, but maybe dosome research as to what goes
into that meat that you love somuch and then you can make a
more informed decision.
That's fine.
But it's just those people whoI feel like are such avid, like
dead animal eaters.
I say that judgmentally.
I eat animals, obviously.
I eat plenty of beef and porkand stuff like that.
But I think it's just awareness.
You know what you're gettinginto, you know what you're
(40:06):
contributing to and then you canmake a better decision.
Okay, maybe I don't eat as muchmeat, or maybe I don't put on a
pedestal, or maybe I try to eathealthier, with more vegetables
, more sustainably.
I don't think that can hurt.
Marie (40:16):
Right.
Oh, yeah, I totally agree withyou and I appreciate that too,
because just having thatawareness even if you're not an
advocate for animals, but youknow still at least know what,
what's going into all thatprocess and all the waste too,
and, like I was telling you,know still at least know what's
going into all that process andall the waste too.
And like I was telling youearlier, I think, in our
(40:36):
conversation, is that I amguilty of when those people who
will say, oh, this culture orthese people, they do this and
that.
But there are a lot of peopleout there who even, like you
said, they use the whole animal.
They don't just hunt for sport,but they use it and they even
appreciate the animals.
I've read just recently aboutcertain cultures that even
(40:59):
appreciate, they give thanks tothe animal for whatever purpose
and for before they eat them andthe food and stuff and people
will criticize them without evenknowing what exactly they do
with animals, but then againthose are the same people who
are so disconnected that theydon't know that the burger
they're eating that they camefrom the slaughterhouse in worse
(41:21):
and really inhumane conditions.
J.R. (41:24):
Random side tangent, but my senior thesis in college was
on sustainability, which israndom because it's not like I
ever talk about it, but itinforms a lot of how I see
things.
But if you ever watch one ofthose videos of slaughterhouses
it'll definitely make youquestion what you eat, because I
know, after I took a class onsustainability and food
production, I was vegetarian fortwo months.
I was like maybe I should.
(41:44):
I'm obviously not now, but Idon't put meat on a pedestal.
Marie (41:48):
But it's just good for awareness, I think, since we're
so disconnected and even youdon't have to just completely be
a vegetarian, but think ofother options and maybe other
things, or maybe just eating itless.
No, less.
J.R. (42:03):
There are options for more sustainably sourced food so
there's always that.
Obviously there's cost, butjust awareness, that's all I can
ask for anything else before wego to rapid fire questions
we're about that time to dorapid fire, of course yes that's
not what you said earlierbecause originally this was
going to be a random showepisode, but then we got like
(42:24):
main topics focused on like mymom's experience.
I'm like, oh yeah, we can justdo a standard episode and then
I'll chime in too.
But I think we can do it.
It's be fun.
You can pass on any of them.
You're like, eh, I don't have athing and I'll cut it out.
Marie (42:34):
Okay, yeah.
J.R. (42:35):
All right, so billboard question If you could put up a
sign for millions of people tosee, what would it say?
Marie (42:41):
I have thought about this one.
J.R. (42:43):
See you listen to every episode.
You know all the questions.
Marie (42:48):
So for that question I would say do something for
someone else other than yourself, no matter how small or how big
.
That's a good one.
J.R. (42:58):
I've never heard anyone say that Guest number 42 on the
show Meaning it was a veryoriginal unique answer.
What is one of the hardestchallenges you face and what did
you learn from it?
Marie (43:15):
Well, having an amazing second son, first son, that's
just so easy to raise, I think,without having to think too much
about it.
I would say, probably when yourkids get older and then they go
on their own.
But the thing is, I think, ifyou want, I think just with,
like your brother, because he'sthe third one, he's the youngest
there are a lot of things thatyou don't want to.
Definitely it's hard when youguys don't live close by.
(43:35):
So the challenging thing isthat.
But I know that that's what youknow, you guys want and that's
what's best for you at the time.
That's what you want becauseit's your life.
So, yeah, that there are a lotof challenging things, but but I
can say that for one.
J.R. (43:52):
So your kid's moving away Well, not just moving away, but
the feeling of that, even thoughthat's what will make them
happy.
So their happiness is firstSelf-inflicted wound.
Do you have a story aboutsomething that's gone wrong in
your life that you can't blameanyone else but yourself?
Marie (44:09):
Well, you can't blame anybody.
It's going to have to befinances.
So I want to blame it on when Iwas younger, and you don't know
too much yeah but I think Istill do that, even when I was
older than that.
So I think it's like anythingelse, it just takes practice.
(44:30):
And then, because you said it'slike self-inflicted right, I
think the same as for otherthings that are self-inflicted
you don't just get it right thenext time around.
You got to keep doing it andpracticing it.
J.R. (44:47):
Similar vein.
If you could redo one thing,what would you do differently,
if anything, if?
Marie (44:51):
you could redo one thing.
What would you do differently,if anything?
I'd probably say, even withhaving kids, just even though,
as hard as it may be, I wouldhave wanted to finish college or
go to school earlier.
J.R. (45:03):
If you could give your younger self advice, what would
it be now, Any age?
Marie (45:08):
any time period.
I'd probably say to my youngerself keep going to school, Go to
school.
J.R. (45:12):
Yeah, yeah, nice.
Marie (45:16):
How do you define success ?
So I would say, from listeningto….
J.R. (45:21):
Driving a.
Marie (45:21):
Lamborghini?
No, maybe when I was younger Iwould probably say that, but not
the first thing.
But I do want to say thatsuccess is when someone is doing
what they really want to do.
But I also want to add to thatis that if I think success is if
(45:42):
someone is doing what they wantto do and also can impact
somebody else with that, it'snot just about doing what you
want to do, but also like beingthat positive in the world yes,
yes, definitely I like it if youknew you couldn't fail, what
would you try or what would yoube doing right now?
just one thing is.
J.R. (46:03):
You can say whatever you want.
Marie (46:06):
You have a list well, one of the two things I'd probably
have is Twins.
Twins, yes, but that's out ofmy control.
That's something I can'tcontrol, but you always know
that I said, I would want two ofyou, and two of your brother
and two of your sister.
J.R. (46:26):
Okay.
So if you couldn't fail, whatwould you be doing now?
Or trying, or whatever Fail.
Marie (46:32):
Absolutely couldn't fail what I would probably be doing
is probably finish medicalschool being a surgeon and then
being a surgeon for one of thosenon-profits like.
J.R. (46:43):
Mercy Ships.
See, I was just waiting for youto say that because I knew the
answer.
I was seeing if you were goingto say it.
Marie (46:49):
You're probably one of the few people, yeah.
J.R. (46:52):
If you knew you would absolutely fail anyways, what
would you be doing?
Marie (46:55):
It's good Wait.
J.R. (47:01):
The confusion on my mom's face for all the audio listeners
.
So the spirit of the questionis we don't do things because
we're scared of failing, butthere are some things in life
that, even if we fail, we woulddo anyways.
Marie (47:12):
Oh yeah.
J.R. (47:12):
That's what I mean well, I probably have more kids all
right, what is something you'vebeen pondering frequently or
deeply and something you've beenthinking about a lot I think
maybe because I'm older now 29is not old.
Marie (47:33):
Compared to.
I think what I've been thinkingabout lately is something that,
like, when you're gone, notjust your legacy or something
people will remember you by, butsomething that you can pass
down, that can keep on going, asfar as teaching or helping
someone, because you can helpone person, and then it stops
(47:57):
there, because when you're gone,then it stops there.
But if you can teach or have animpact on somebody else who can
do that as well, then the worldwould definitely be a better
place.
J.R. (48:09):
So teach teachers, raise teachers.
Marie (48:11):
Yeah, I like it yeah.
J.R. (48:14):
What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments
you've ever made in either time,money, energy, etc.
Marie (48:18):
I know I've heard this before, but I didn't think about
it.
She's heard this 35 times or 34, something like that and then I
always wonder when I'm watchingit what are they going to say?
So now all of you are like whatis she going to say?
You know what?
I'm sorry, but I can't think ofanything.
J.R. (48:40):
Not like sending your son to college or… I'm just kidding.
Oh, another thing my mom's paidfor is my first car.
You definitely paid for all ofthat, so I appreciate that.
Marie (48:54):
But you put that car… yeah, yeah I had it for 12 years
.
J.R. (48:56):
I'm like get the money's worth out of it.
I drive try to get the most outof my car finances.
Marie (49:02):
Okay, favorite recent purchase in the 50 to 100 range
recently that has impacted yourlife the most well, okay, okay,
I thought about this, but onlywhen I was listening to all of
your podcasts, but I didn'tthink about it.
But something did come to mind.
For a long time I've beenlooking for when I was younger I
(49:24):
just was into nice purses andthings like that and now because
I feel like my life becomebusier, like with animals,
animals and work and even likestudying, so I've had to and
I've gone through maybe four orfive like purses that would be
really functional and you'd besurprised After maybe four or
(49:46):
five, and I've returned some toAmazon Because they just didn't
fit all the necessary things Iwant, but I didn't want
something too big.
So I finally finally got yeah,and I think it was less than $30
the right, right size purse andthat I can carry around even
with all the things that I'mdoing okay, maybe I might ask
(50:06):
you to send me that link so Ican link it in the show notes.
J.R. (50:09):
Oh, maybe they want the same purse as you.
The host's mom has this purse,so she advocates for it.
Might as well get thataffiliate link, okay.
Last rapid fire questionsFavorite books, movies, videos,
articles, media or anything thatyou recommend or share the most
.
Marie (50:30):
I'm still reading it.
It's called Mountains BeyondMountains and it's about.
His name is Dr Paul Farmer, andhe's a physician from Harvard
and he also has his PhD.
But aside from all that, hebuilt this hospital in Haiti,
but he started as, and he's hadto go through like all the
challenges politically andeconomically just politically
(50:57):
and economically and forbuilding these hospitals and to
the end result is to provideaccessible health care for these
different countries, like Haitiis the first one that he did,
and I think the next one is likePeru.
J.R. (51:06):
So it's a really good book so it's like a not biography,
but or is?
It or he wrote it, but it'sabout a biography, or he wrote
it, but it's about his journey.
Marie (51:14):
No, somebody else wrote it about him.
Yeah, so he is, and I mentionedthis.
He's a medical anthropologist.
J.R. (51:21):
Oh okay, gotcha, he's still alive.
Marie (51:25):
He just passed a couple years ago.
J.R. (51:27):
Okay, okay, so it's about him and his work and what he's
done.
Yeah, oh, I see, oh nice.
Marie (51:38):
I'll.
So it's about him and his workand what he's done.
Yeah, oh, I see.
Oh, nice, I'll link to that.
Any other recommendationsthings people should check out
one of my, one of my favorites,because we talked about like
challenges with the finances andI think I heard about this book
from you and I still, and ithelped me because it's something
that anybody can use andanybody can apply it, whether
you make a million dollars or$30,000 a year, and that's the
one by Ramit.
J.R. (51:59):
I Will Teach you To Be Rich.
Marie (52:00):
Yes, and it sounds.
J.R. (52:02):
Don't be deceived by the title, the clickbaity title.
Marie (52:06):
Yeah, but we've read a lot of books on finances, and I
think that's the best book tostart with, because you can
apply it easily and anybody can,and it really helps yeah, no, I
always recommend that.
J.R. (52:19):
When it comes to personal finance, that book is like the
number one because it's sopractical and it's solid advice.
It's not gimmicky, it's notquick fix or fast money, it's
solid principles that you justdo this for the next 10, 20
years, you'll be fine.
Highly recommend it.
I'll link that as well.
Okay, that is it for rapid fire.
Now we'll go to endingquestions.
So we always end with gratitude.
(52:39):
Shout out to my mother,wherever she may be, right now,
maybe two feet away from me.
But, mom, what are you gratefulfor?
Marie (52:46):
Well, I'm grateful for my kids.
I will say that.
J.R. (52:49):
So unexpected.
Marie (52:56):
And that's the truth.
And then for my health, becauseyou don't have that, and I
think people take that forgranted too, so I think I always
say that when people arecomplaining like, you have your
health, yeah and your family'shealthy.
J.R. (53:05):
You're healthy, that's like honestly, baseline right.
Yes, yeah, which child are youmost grateful for?
Marie (53:16):
I already said my answer.
There are no.
I have no favorites.
If it's me continue to breathe.
J.R. (53:23):
Okay, cool, nice, perfect.
We got it on camera.
Marie (53:27):
Okay, I'll throw in my this is unexpected because he
didn't tell me this.
Obviously, it's my show.
I can do whatever I want,that's true.
Okay, I'll throw in my this isunexpected because he didn't
tell me this.
J.R. (53:32):
Obviously it's my shogun do whatever I want that's true
um okay, I'll throw in minegreat gratitude.
I'm also grateful, obviously,for my parents as well.
This question, this piece, isinspired by my mom.
Obviously, one of the biggestthings she's given me is the
attitude of gratitude.
Yeah, everyone around me, myhealth as well.
Yeah, just being able to see myfamily, I think that's a big
thing because, yeah, you said, alot of my gratitude comes from
(53:53):
my mom and like her perspective.
So I think, yeah, values alignthere.
Thank you, you're welcome.
Final ask from the audience orfinal takeaways you'd like them
to have?
Marie (54:06):
I think that's one of the biggest things, is that
gratitude, and I'm also gratefulfor my parents and thank you
for, for I was really excitedwhen you mentioned this to me,
so I was always.
I'm always watching yourpodcast and watching people on
there, so, yeah, really excitedyou're my number one fan and
supporter, so of course you getthat.
J.R. (54:26):
Yeah, no, definitively like.
That's not even.
There's not even a top 10.
It's just my mom, which Iappreciate.
So, yeah, I think that's itwhere we can find you, even a
top 10.
It's just my mom, which Iappreciate.
So, yeah, I think that's itwhen we can find you.
I'll link your socials.
I don't know if you care ifpeople reach out to you, but if
they just want to check out whatyou're up to, I'll link my
mom's Instagram.
It's right there.
I think it's private, right, oris it public?
Okay, yeah, then it'll be there, cool, all right.
(54:50):
Well, that is the end, mom,thank you so much for being here
.
I really appreciate it.
I'm glad it worked out.
Yeah, yeah, I think I don'tknow what else to say.
Thank you for the birth.
You know every one of mybirthdays is a birth anniversary
of my mom giving birth, so Iappreciate that.
Yeah it's a pretty good gift.
All right, my final sign off.
(55:17):
Thank you guys for being here.
Remember to subscribe, follow,like comments.
Leave my mom some love in thecomments below, wherever you're
seeing this, and let me know too, if you like this episode, what
you want to see.
More of feedback, we lovefeedback and a reminder to
always be kind to other people,especially yourself, and
reminder that you can alwayslearn something from someone if
you take the time to listen.
So thanks for being here.
You.
Hello everyone and welcome back to another fun episode of
1000 Gurus with me, your host,jr Yonacruz.
Today's guest is a very specialguest, marie Potts.
Marie grew up in Vallejo.
Oldest of five, she is themother of three and moved to
East Bay and Milpitas Fremont inNorthern California where her
three children grew upthroughout junior, high and high
(00:20):
school.
She currently works in thepharmaceutical industry and has
done so for the last 20 yearsand, interesting fact, she is
the mother of the host of thisshow.
I told her to throw that in but,like I said, this was a very
special episode because I wasn'tsure if this would ever happen.
But my mom and I were planninga trip to see her family in the
East Coast, specificallyPennsylvania, and she wanted to
fly down from NorCal to my areato hang out first so that we
(00:43):
could fly together, but then Ifigured she might as well just
jump on the podcast.
Then we can have a funconversation recorded that we
can look back on.
It was fun and delightful tohave my mom because she also
listens to pretty much everysingle episode, so she is an
avid listener and fan of theshow.
I thought it'd be a funopportunity for you, the
audience to see how amazing sheis.
I might be a little biased tosee how amazing she is.
(01:04):
I might be a little biased Bestmom in the world, you know.
So we talk about her maininfluences, her upbringing,
parenting, animal advocacy and,of course, mindsets of gratitude
.
I absolutely love doing thisrecording and you can tell we
had a lot of fun with this.
I was teasing my mom a bitabout who her favorite child was
.
Spoiler alert it's me.
It's always fun spending timewith my mom, so it's a double
win that you can't really beat.
So, without further ado, I hopeyou enjoy this episode with
(01:27):
Marie Potts.
Hello everyone and welcome backto 1000 Gurus.
Please welcome my guest and mymother Marie Potts.
Marie (01:35):
Thank you.
J.R. (01:36):
Thanks for being here, mom .
This is a special, almostunexpected episode, because we
are actually planning to govisit family in East Coast
tomorrow, right Friday throughSunday-ish Visit family because
a lot of your family's overthere, and so she was going to
fly down so we can fly together.
But I was like, hey, mom, whydon't you just come on the
podcast, since we have the wholeday together?
So she booked an earlier flightso that she can come down, we
(01:59):
can hang out, and so now she'shere.
Marie (02:01):
Thank you for having me.
J.R. (02:02):
Yeah, I was prefacing this to Solomon too.
I was like I think the onlypeople who listen to every
single episode is you andSolomon.
So in this room we have all thelisteners of 1000 Gurus.
So, yeah, it's going to besuper fun.
Marie (02:17):
I'm very excited to be here.
J.R. (02:18):
Yeah, cool.
So let's go into how I know you.
So I think you were the firstperson I met in life.
I don't remember it, obviously,but I assume you're the first
person I met.
And then, yeah, you're my mom.
So I I don't know what else tosay I live with you for the
first 18 years of my life and,yeah, now I'm here and you're in
(02:40):
NorCal.
I don't know if people know this, but like most of my immediate
family, all of my immediatefamily's in NorCal, I'm the only
one down here.
So it's nice that I come up tovisit the Bay Area Milpitas,
fremont, let's say on averagethree to four times a year.
So I'll see you and dad, mysister, my two brothers, but I
don't really see my friendsbecause it's just for the
weekend.
So, yeah, that's pretty much it.
(03:01):
But then you've been comingdown a few times, which I
appreciate.
So, like my mom can, I can showher all my stomping grounds
around here and we can eat foodand stuff like that.
Any clarifications, anything?
What are you up to?
What are you?
Marie (03:13):
up to nowadays.
Just, I always look forward tovisiting my kids, of course, and
I always look forward to comingout here to visit you, even if
it's just overnight.
I feel like you have to.
Time goes we talked about this,but time flies and as you get
older, you're going to noticethat too.
(03:33):
So I think my prioritiesespecially is to see my kids,
and since you guys are all indifferent locations, I have to
go to different locations.
J.R. (03:44):
Yeah, that was planned out .
We're like, hey, when we growup, let's all spread out so that
we can make things moredifficult for you.
I was going to ask so, as anavid listener of 1000 Gurus,
what draws you to our show, whydo you like our show, why do you
listen to it?
Marie (04:06):
Well, it really.
I'm sure you know the time thatgoes into this.
I'm your mother, but I'm what.
I'm just completely amazed atwhat you do and for you
listening to other people and Ilearned a lot from just
listening to them.
I hear different things andthey ask very good questions.
I'm very familiar with all ofthose and I value the fact that
(04:28):
you listen to them, and I alsovalue the fact that they're very
transparent and very personal.
There are a lot of personalthings that they mention on the
show and that can affect otherpeople and listeners out there
in your audience, so I thinkit's a great thing that you do.
J.R. (04:47):
Thank you.
Yeah, I appreciate that.
I'm grateful to have a lot ofgreat guests on the show with a
lot of good experience and thegenerosity of the spirit of
wanting to share that with otherpeople, especially on my
platform.
It's not like I'm a hugeplatform and it's not like it's
blown up or anything, so themcoming out here.
I always appreciate that.
Yeah, and to touch base on, ifyou guys have listened to any
episode, usually you'll hear atthe end it's like we end with
(05:09):
gratitude Shout out to my mom.
So what I mean by that if youdon't, if it's not a very
apparent is growing up, my momwould always say things can be
tough or things are tough, butthen what you focus on is more
important, Meaning my siblingsand I or my sister and I would
complain about stuff, right, askids do.
I always remember my mom beinglike well, like you have to
focus on what you're gratefulfor, Cause obviously things can
(05:30):
go wrong and things are bad, butit's if you focus on what
you're grateful for, you'llalways have enough, and I think
you have more than you have, butif you're always focused on the
negatives, you're obviouslygoing to complain no-transcript.
Marie (06:06):
When you're listening to people because they want to vent
or they want someone just tolisten to them, and sometimes
when you don't have anything ormaybe you can't think of, it's
always good and it's always thebest thing, and I've always
turned to.
Well, you know, what do youhave to be grateful for?
Like your children are healthy,you're healthy.
(06:27):
It's got to be there at the topof the list, right?
So we can always find somethingto be grateful and that'll make
us feel better too.
J.R. (06:34):
Yeah, definitely, it's one of those Tony Robbins things
too, where it's like thegratitude is the strongest
emotion or mindset that you canhave and it roots you in the
present, rather than too muchfuture anxiety, too much past
depression.
If you're grateful for themoment, it's like one of the
strongest emotions you can stateyou can put yourself in.
One thing I was thinking abouta while ago was this idea well,
we'll talk about family andparenting in a bit.
(06:55):
That's one of our topics but iswhen you do a lot of those
reflections I've done thesereflections over the years.
What are the main things thatI've gotten from my parents?
Right, you and dad and I thinkit's similar across the board
Both of you guys are verygrateful people but also very
generous people.
I think that's one of the thingsthat I would label, or what I
got from my childhood is likegrowing up we didn't have a lot.
(07:18):
We didn't really come from a lotof like money and, I guess,
wealth and privilege and statusand all this stuff right, like,
mostly we got by and whatnot.
But what I always remember isthat both you and dad were
always very generous people,even when I was a kid.
Beyond what I felt wasnecessary.
I talked about this in one ofmy other episodes, but it's if
we barely have enough, why arewe being generous to other
(07:40):
people?
And so that always stood out tome, like you and dad both did.
That it's like you're alwaysgenerous, giving to other people
and even beyond what I thoughtwas necessary.
But I think now what I'velearned and appreciate is that
that has like an ROI beyond justthe money and the relationships
.
But I think if you have agenerosity of spirit that fills
(08:01):
you up in more different waysthan just like the money aspect
of it, and I think if youapproach life in the universe
with that generosity, I feellike you have a higher quality
of life.
So that's one thing that I tookfrom you and dad.
Marie (08:12):
That's great Thank you.
Yeah, I'm glad.
J.R. (08:15):
Cool Anything else that you're up to that you want to
touch on before we get intoregular topics?
Marie (08:21):
Well, I do want to say one thing about before we leave
that topic.
What you're saying aboutgenerosity is that and you
probably heard this from.
Like other people also, wealways have to remember that we
don't have to be rich to give toto other people.
Even if you are barely gettingby, you can always help someone
or give a little bit ofsomething.
You don't have to be so richbefore you say okay, then I can
(08:45):
get yeah, I think that's.
J.R. (08:47):
I agree, generosity is a mindset, it's not a number in
your bank account.
Right, and we'll talk aboutthat generosity too, because my
mom practices what she preacheswhen she does a lot of giving
and like animal advocacy issomething that we're going to
talk about.
All right, so we'll go into thefirst topic origin story, main
influences, career trajectory,all this other stuff, just to
get out of the way.
So, mom, where did you grow up?
Marie (09:09):
so I grew up in narcal, more specifically in vallejo,
and then now I was born no,fairfield, fairfield which is
right next to vallejo rightright and then we moved to the
east bay, mel Melpitas andFremont, and then that's where
you guys went to junior high andhigh school eventually.
And I'm still there in Fremontwhere you come to visit Nice.
J.R. (09:33):
This is a very broad, general question, but what were
the main influences you had inyour life growing up?
Well, okay, so my mom is ayoung 29 years old and I'm 34.
So I don't know how that mathworks, but even though she's
young, she's also had a longlife.
And so, looking back at that,what do you think were the
biggest influences that shapedyou to who you are today?
Marie (09:56):
I would have to say early in my life, probably my parents
, of course, I feel like they'realways your first line or your
first influence my parents, andthen I think, just being a young
parent and being married early,and that all of that is a big
influence and a part of my lifeafter that.
J.R. (10:19):
How would you describe your parents?
And then my second question ishow young did you have kids?
Marie (10:28):
your parents.
And then my second question ishow young did you have kids?
My, my parents, I well, did youhave a specific thing about
more?
J.R. (10:33):
just, I know your parents but, like for the audience,
could you color paint a picturefor what they were like so that
we can see how maybe informs whoyou are so I they were very
more of the traditional.
Marie (10:46):
But then that's why I'm asking, because traditional can
mean a lot of things, yeah todifferent, different people and
even different cultures.
So well, I will say, for onething, my parents were very
strict, and one thing that I doreally respect about them is
that they always try to do whatis right and what they're
(11:09):
supposed to and how they'resupposed to raise their children
right, because there areparents who just don't.
And what I'll say is that Ithink that parents always, in
general, try to do what's bestfrom what they know right?
I think my parents were thatway.
Do we also have to remember?
(11:30):
But that parents are human,like when you grow up and you're
like, oh my, my parents arehuman too, so they make mistakes
, but I truly believe that theydid their best and they always
tried to do what they thoughtwas right.
J.R. (11:44):
Yeah, I guess we're getting into that topic of
parenting too.
But so it leads into the nextquestion, which is how young
were you when you got marriedand then when you had kids?
Because it's pretty young,since you're 29 and I'm 34.
So it must have been young.
Marie (11:58):
Well, I was young because I was actually married before I
was 18.
So before I became an adult, soI was actually married before I
was 18.
So before I became an adult, soI was actually emancipated.
That's what they call it anemancipated father, yeah, and
then shortly after that I hadyou guys.
J.R. (12:16):
So how old were you?
Marie (12:19):
So but she was negative four.
J.R. (12:23):
She was negative five when she had me.
Yeah, okay, I was.
My main question is because Ithink the whole parenting thing
informs, like I know the lorefrom what you've told me.
Growing up you had difficultrelationships with your parents
and then you wanted to move outand you got married and then
eventually you had us but therewas also, from my understanding,
like you and your siblings, mymom's the oldest of five and and
(12:44):
so, yeah, tough familysituation.
But then everyone wanted to getout of the house sooner than
later.
And then a lot of my cousinsare also like, or my aunts and
uncles had, my aunts had likekids when they were younger too.
Because I imagine when I waslike man, if when I was in my
early twenties, I couldn'timagine having kids, right, or I
could, but I'm like this wouldbe really hard, harder than if
it like for today, right, Ithink I'm more financially and
(13:07):
emotionally prepared to havekids now, but if I was in my
early 20s or 18 or whatever theage, I'd be like dang, that's
tough.
And, to your point again, it'salso like we do the best we can
with what we know and we allmake mistakes.
Marie (13:20):
So I guess that's what I was trying to get as there's a
lot of different lore there, butit makes sense yeah, yeah, and
we also live in different times,which that's that's a factor
too, but there were, there are alot of things involved with
that.
When you're a kid or that young, you don't know, don't really
(13:40):
know the best thing in you.
But your parents they want thebest for you and they try their
best for you, but you know theythere's not like a manual to
parenting, so, but I trulybelieve, and I'm very thankful
to my parents, that they did tryto do their best, based on what
(14:02):
they think how they shouldraise their kids.
So so I really really respectthat.
J.R. (14:06):
See, gratitude, she's just .
Every answer is just.
I'm thankful this is what I grewup on.
So, yeah, like, obviously mymom was like a young parent.
My sister's two years olderthan me, and so I remember
growing up a lot People would belike, oh, oh, your little
sister and your little brotherreferring to me and my sister,
right, because my mom like looksso young.
And then we were like I waslike 11.
My sister was like 13.
(14:26):
And people would mistaken herfor like our older sister, and
so she would get that and she'dbe like, oh, and she would tell
us about this, like okay, mom,you're so young, like that was a
compliment, right.
Marie (14:39):
Thank you, yeah, definitely.
J.R. (14:41):
Since we're on parenting, that's like the next topic and I
know we want to talk about liketraditional versus new
parenting, or what kind ofparents I would want to be, or
the role of family.
This is a big question, butwhat was your experience like?
You have three kids now mysister, myself, and then my
younger brother, who is a thirdyear, finishing his third year
in college in Hawaii right, yearin college in Hawaii, right.
(15:02):
My question as an audiencemember would be like what was
that experience like?
What were some of thechallenges and what were some of
the lessons learned?
so I don't know if you have anythoughts on those super easy it
all turned out well.
We're not in jail.
Marie (15:17):
None of us have kids well , one thing I can say is I'm
blessed because I, even growingup and discussing like with
other parents parents alwayscompare this and that.
But if we do compare it andthat's happened and I've always
sometimes I'd be like, well, Idon't have like those problems
(15:38):
and they're like really problems, like on both ends of the
spectrum right.
Really bad to really good,problems like on both ends of
the spectrum, right From reallybad to really good.
But I've always been so luckyand blessed that I never had to
really go through some of theexperiences that I've heard
other people had.
So it's not easy, but I don'tthink it was.
I've said it's been as tough assome other that I've heard.
J.R. (16:03):
Yeah, so you're grateful.
Marie (16:06):
Well, yes, in fact I think I mentioned this to you
guys I wish and sometimes peoplewere like what you would want
to have more kids.
I'm like, yeah, I will.
More specifically, I would wantto have two of you, two of your
sister and two of your brother.
So I've always wanted twins.
I wouldn't have wanted more.
J.R. (16:27):
My brother always jokes because my mom always mentions
that she wants, wanted twins,and wants twins and wants twin
grandkids and it's like that'snot up to us, that's up to
genetics and we're not reallystacked for that genetic lineup
since none of us are twins.
But my brother always jokes.
He's like what mom?
Marie (16:51):
Am I not good enough for you?
You need two of me, am I notenough?
So I've always being a youngparent though you would think
that, and also I think that'swhy I brought up that I've had.
Where I'm the oldest of five isusually when people have to
take care of their siblings andthings.
Usually I've heard them say, oh, I don't want kids for a while,
and it's hard.
Yeah, it was very tough,because I was to care of my
siblings, my parents wereworking and what have you.
I think that's what I should doanyways as the older sister.
(17:17):
But after I got older, I stillwanted to.
I wasn't the one who said, oh,I don't want any kids for now.
I always wanted kids.
I don't know why, but I'vealways wanted to.
I wasn't the one who said, oh,I don't want any kids for now.
I always wanted kids.
I don't know, you know why, butI've always wanted kids, even
young, even when I was even tobe a young parent.
Yeah, I didn't.
I guess obviously everythingelse didn't come first.
(17:40):
It was having kids first.
J.R. (17:42):
Yeah.
So then you helped raise yoursiblings and then you're like
you know what?
I also want kids.
It's a completely oppositedirection of what someone might
want to do.
Okay, so, were there anynotable challenges?
This is a very weird subjectivequestion, but what are the
biggest challenges of being ayoung parent?
Because I think again, for thesake of people relating or
(18:02):
wanting to hear the story, or ifthey want to become parents,
right?
I don't know if you have anythings that come to mind of like
challenges and or advice forparents.
You are the second parent I'vehad on the show, so this is
helpful advice for usnon-parents.
Marie (18:15):
It's.
I think the challenges werelike more financially, Unless
you're you're born into wealth,then you have to.
You're born into wealth, thenyou have to.
That's just one of the thingsthat you have to go through and
navigate your way through andnot really knowing the best,
like knowing what I know now andwhat I knew back then.
I think that's the main, that'sthe biggest challenge.
(18:38):
Yeah.
J.R. (18:39):
Any advice for like parents, younger parents or
people who want to becomeparents for like parents,
younger parents or people whowant to become parents, having
experienced the last, howevermany years with three kids?
Marie (18:52):
Well, I don't really know what to say, because I think
everyone's parenting ways isdifferent.
J.R. (19:01):
Helpful advice.
Obviously, everyone's situationis different, but words of
wisdom.
Marie (19:07):
I think for me, I think what I learned from my parents.
My advice is don't be so strictwith your kids.
Listen to them more, althoughbe firm, but listen to them and
don't be so strict.
J.R. (19:23):
My opinion about that is that being too strict will… Make
them want to leave the houseand get married early and have
three kids and then end up onone of the kids' podcasts.
Makes sense.
Thanks, grandparents, all right.
Well, I guess last thing onthis is who is your favorite kid
and what would you give….
Marie (19:42):
What score would you give us out of 100?
That was not on the board.
J.R. (19:46):
She always says I don't have a favorite.
I love all my kids equally, butI'm pretty sure she has a
favorite.
Marie (19:54):
No, that's not possible.
J.R. (19:56):
He's sitting right here.
That's the favorite.
Marie (20:00):
Well, that's not possible .
People who say that I don'tknow.
I think there are parents whohave favorites, because I've
observed that.
But I can't.
It's not possible for me.
That's really what I think.
J.R. (20:16):
Solomon's nodding.
Solomon, do you have a favoritechild?
No, but my sister does.
So there are parents who havefavorites.
He's like, yeah, I know some.
Yeah, I subscribe to that too.
I know my mom said that growingup I don't have a favorite and
I feel like that's the mosthealthy mindset you can have,
because obviously some parentsfeel like they do have favorites
and all this.
But that's so toxic becauseit's like I can't, yeah, I can't
(20:38):
imagine that.
Yeah if you were to give us ascore from zero to a hundred,
yeah what would each what's atiscore?
what would my score be?
What's jacob's score?
Marie (20:49):
all three, a hundred boo, that's to me.
J.R. (20:52):
Three first place trophies boo.
Marie (20:54):
No, that's not.
J.R. (20:58):
That question was in the Okay, but which child brought
you onto a podcast?
Maybe that's the tiebreaker.
Marie (21:06):
There's still no favorites.
J.R. (21:08):
Okay, which one was the easiest to raise, and then,
consequently, who was the mostdifficult?
Marie (21:16):
I don't have an answer for that.
Who?
J.R. (21:18):
asks for the most venmo requests or money and who asks
for the least amount of money?
Marie (21:24):
well, okay, there is.
I know I thought about thisbefore, but you going to when
you're in college, I don't everremember you asking for money,
that's damn straight.
That's definitely a fact, Okay.
J.R. (21:41):
I'll take it.
I just needed something onvideo that proves that I'm the
superior child.
Marie (21:46):
No, but you're not the superior child, but in terms of
financial costs.
J.R. (21:50):
I don't really ask for anything.
Marie (21:53):
But I do have to give you that that you put your self
through college and everythingand for all these years I never
really thought of that.
But you've never, you've never,you never asked me for for
money or to help you withanything yeah, nice, cool, nice,
at least I have that.
J.R. (22:12):
I know I prioritize a lot of like independence and
obviously financial wise Ialways wanted be good with money
, but you did help me pay offsome of my student loans.
I remember that because.
Marie (22:21):
But you never asked.
J.R. (22:22):
Yeah, that's true.
My mom's the type of person tojust give, even if I don't ask.
I appreciate it, obviously.
But I tell the story to some ofmy friends too.
Because I had such a littleamount of student loan debt
after I graduated by designbecause I was trying to save
money like housing.
I became an RA because I wantedto save money.
I could save like 12 grandbecause of that, always kept my
(22:43):
expenses low so that when Igraduated I had not as
significantly less than myfriends, and so I lived on my
dad's couch for eight months andput 80% of my paycheck towards
my student loans so I can pay itoff before the interest kicks
in or like the fees and stuff.
And so my mom also helped meout with that.
So I'll shout out you for that,because I was trying to pay it
off sooner than later.
But yeah, I think.
(23:04):
Yeah also try not to ask foranything too, because that's
just what I wanted to do.
So I guess by that answer wecan assume that my sister and my
brother both asked for money.
Marie (23:13):
So no, that's not what I said.
J.R. (23:15):
That's what she said.
It's recorded.
Marie (23:17):
I just wanted to get something down I just said that
you never asked for money goingokay, yes, okay, true, you have
given me money and I appreciateit.
J.R. (23:26):
But, you're right, I don't really remember asking, so,
okay, cool, I'll take it.
Okay.
Something else on parenting.
You said I don't know if youwant to ask what kind of parent
I want to be, but I also want toask the role of family
traditional versus new parenting.
I like this idea ofunconditional love because
that's something that you'veshown me and it's something that
I like to practice and how Iperceive my own relationships of
(23:47):
how to approach them.
But did you have anything ontraditional versus new parenting
?
Marie (23:52):
I think if we start with unconditional, I think that's a
good place to start, because theone thing that I always know
and I always say and it is myopinion is that your kids never
ask you to be here.
So I feel that it's theparents' responsibility when
(24:15):
they bring their kids into thisworld, and so by that, I feel
that what you give them or whatyou do for them, or even what
they need, that's unconditionalBecause, like I said, the thing
is that they never asked you tobe here.
You brought them into thisworld.
I feel like you're responsible,and some people may not agree
with that and also some peoplemay say oh, I did this for you.
(24:38):
That's just like my pet peeve isthe parents that you know that
say, well, I did this for youand I paid for this.
I paid for that I that's nobecause you brought them into
this world, even if they don'task for something.
But if you've given themsomething, I feel like you.
You should do thatunconditionally.
(24:58):
And then, at the most, youshouldn't say I did this for you
when you were, when you were akid, and so you should do this
or whatever, or expect somethingright, right.
J.R. (25:11):
That's one thing that I do appreciate significantly and
distinctly about you and dad isthat you guys never I know that
other parents are not like this,but you guys never said, oh,
because I did this, you need todo this.
And I feel like you guys settingthat example helped me to have
my own boundaries with otherpeople as well, because I wasn't
raised in this quid pro quo, oh, because you did this for me.
(25:33):
And that's not love, that'sconditional love, right and so
approaching relationships thesame way friends and whatnot is
if you want to give, you give,you don't give to receive
because it's conditional,because it's like reciprocal,
and so I think that's what I'vereally latched on to, especially
like where I'm at at life now.
When I think aboutrelationships, when I think
(25:53):
about giving, I think if it'sreciprocal, if I'm expecting
something from someone, that'sthe unhealthy pattern that I
don't want to get into.
But I think it's easier for mecompared to some of my friends
or other people I know, becausemaybe they had that growing up
or something, I don't know but Ido appreciate that conditional
versus unconditional love,anything else on that, or
parenting styles.
Marie (26:13):
I think that that's pretty much it.
I think if you start from therewhen you are a parent, then you
won't regret anything, or youwon't.
You'll save you heartache,because a lot of parents I see
them with that expectation,especially when they get older.
Oh, how come my son or mydaughter went out?
J.R. (26:32):
on their own.
Marie (26:33):
What about me?
That's not how it's supposed tobe.
You chose to have them right.
So and again, parenting isdifferent from every generation,
but it doesn't always mean thatyou will or you have to follow
what your parents or their styleof parenting.
I think you'll think foryourself and then you'll do also
(26:56):
what you think is best, whichmay be the same or similar or
maybe completely different, butas long as you feel like they
don't owe you anything, I thinkyou're better off regardless of
what your parenting style is.
J.R. (27:14):
I think if you start from there, so, starting parenting
from a lens of or from aperspective of I'm not giving to
my kids so that they can giveback to me, but starting with
I'm just here to give and raisemy kids to be sensible adults or
whatnot, and starting fromthere, then you can't really go
wrong.
Or basically just startingpoint I I feel that way, yeah I
(27:35):
like that.
Okay, now we can switch over to.
If you had any other thoughts.
Otherwise, we can switch overto animal advocacy, because I
know this is a big passion ofyours, a big focus point.
You foster or have a lot ofcats I don't know, the number
was six more and you're reallybig into that.
You like volunteer work.
You do, let's see, like rescuework, volunteer work and stuff
(27:57):
like that, and you're way moreknowledgeable than I am, so I'd
like to pick your brain on thathow did?
you get into it.
Why is it important to you?
Marie (28:03):
maybe we start there well , I think it just started with
one and when we see a lot ofanimals for people who don't
have pets or don't deal withanimals all the time we see
animals here and there and wehear about them, but then when
you actually rescue one or youhelp one, then that makes a
difference.
So then when you do that Ithink that's probably what
(28:27):
changed a lot of things for meand then you help that one which
is just like sick it's whatusually you do when you rescue
and then comes more and it'shard to turn your back on a sick
animal.
So that's where it started.
So I just started volunteeringand looking into what they do
(28:51):
and then, more importantly, likethe problems in the community
or problems with this wholeanimal thing that people
complain about there's too manyanimals of this and that they
don't really do anything exceptfor complain.
Why is?
Why do we have this problem?
Do you just not, do you justnot see what's going on?
(29:12):
Or you just turn the other wayso it doesn't what's going on,
or you just turn the other wayso it doesn't really affect you
as much.
But when you start helping them, then you really start to see
and you see more of what's goingon and the problems that people
complain about, like there'stoo many cats, too many dogs and
this and that.
(29:32):
So I think when you do go intothat, then you start to realize
really what the problem is andhow you can help.
J.R. (29:40):
What do you think is something that most people don't
know about this idea of animaladvocacy?
I know specifically if it'sstray animals or there's like an
animal population problem orsomething like that, or
oversaturation of animals inshelters and whatnot.
As a non-pet owner, I don't ownany pets, but I know a lot of
(30:00):
my friends do, so I'm not reallyinto it.
I don't really know like thedetails of that, but I do know a
lot of my friends.
A lot of people advocate foradopt, don't shop and you go to
shelters and you rescue and allthat stuff.
But then there's also you toldme about this before but like
breeding private breeders,that's a really bad thing
because it contributes to theproblem.
Also, there's a lot of animalsthat need homes and things like
(30:21):
that.
So there's a lot of stuff.
I didn't know about it.
But what do you think issomething that people should
know or people you think thatpeople don't know about this
problem, this issue?
Marie (30:31):
And that's a really good point that you bring up, because
sometimes not everyone tend todo any harm or turn the other
way.
So sometimes they just don'tknow, because a lot of people
who love animals who have boughtthem from a breeder because, oh
, this one is so cute.
And that's okay, right, but nowmore than ever, there's a lot
(31:05):
of information out there and alot of things that we can tell
that breeding is… there's somany things.
J.R. (31:09):
There's just so many.
The listing just goes on and onabout breeding.
Marie (31:11):
It's very bad for animals .
It's very bad for animals.
It's very inhumane.
They go.
Even if you have, eventhroughout history, you've seen
the animals that have been bredthat have so many physical
problems because they breed thisdog with that way and this way.
They have certain you knowcharacteristics or physical
(31:34):
characteristics that theyshouldn't have, certain, um, you
know characteristics orphysical characteristics that
they shouldn't have.
But because humans want thistype of appearance, because they
want this size dog and to looklike this, that it doesn't
matter that the dogs are beingbred.
And so if, like I was tellingyou earlier, if I had to break
that down into three categories,is categories, the worst thing
(31:57):
is to buy from a breeder.
That's a very opinionatedstatement and maybe some people
disagree with that, but that'sdefinitely where I stand.
If you don't think that, thenyou have to really look more
into the information aboutbreeding and see what goes on
with those animals when theybreed animals.
(32:19):
Just because certain peoplewant those types of animals, and
also, when you do that, youcontribute to the demand for
them, and because the demand forthem is more, people pay more
and then people make morebecause they can sell them for
more.
It's just, there's nothing goodabout it I agree.
J.R. (32:39):
It seems like it's a net negative to society, to the
whole thing, to have that likebreeding problem.
It reminds us like ticketscalpers, right, like they're
just making a problem worse justby because of the demand and
supply.
But also it's connected to thisidea of unconditional versus
conditional, because you want ananimal specific to your specs
and it's a form of greed, butyou also what you won't love,
(33:02):
another animal who also requiresit, who was also already alive.
It's kind of, if you imaginebreeding children, right, okay,
let me breed these two people soI can get this exact looking
child, and then I'll love itright but then people are like
no, I want the specific type oflooking animal and then I will
love it, but it's like there's alot of animals out there, so
similar with people, similarwith animals.
So it seems like breeding islike a net negative.
Marie (33:24):
Yes, very so.
I've heard some of your guestssay adopt, don't shop, and what
they?
What they mean by that is weall know, without a doubt, that
there are way too many animalsin the shelters already they're
just over overfilled all thetime and a lot of animals out
there because animals don't havecontrol of how they reproduce
(33:48):
and how they multiply oranything like that.
So that that goes into what Iwanted to emphasize after that,
not only addressing the actualproblem, because I've heard, and
it infuriates me, that peoplesay, oh, there are too many cats
, there's too many dogs, andthey do this and they do that.
(34:08):
I wish they'd just get out ofour community.
So I volunteered for animalhotlines and animal rescues and
even like the shelters and it'sjust horrible and that's a lot
of things that people don't knowand people don't see.
But the thing is, what aboutaddressing?
(34:30):
Why, instead of complaining andjust being upset at the animals
, why don't we think about?
J.R. (34:36):
why?
Why in the solution Like why isthis problem here and what can
we do about it?
Marie (34:41):
Yeah, and not just trying to get rid of them.
That's inhumane also right.
What about trying to see whatthe problem is?
And so the other part ofrescuing is that helping
communities and helping them andteaching them how to control
the population by the spay andneutering so that they don't
(35:03):
have kittens and puppies right,because many animals get
euthanized all the time.
That's very sad.
But one step beyond that isteaching, like a community
themselves, to be able to helpcontrolling with the population
where they don't have so manycats, and it's not hurting them,
(35:24):
it's just helping them becausethey can't do it themselves.
And so when you teach people todo that, you're only one person
or you're only two people oryou're only one group.
But if you teach them orsomebody else to do that, then
they can do and teach somebodyelse, just like when you teach
somebody about finance.
It's one thing for you to beable to do it, but then for you
(35:47):
to teach somebody else is muchmore impactful.
It makes more of an impact,yeah, yeah.
J.R. (35:50):
Makes sense.
Else is much more impactful.
It makes more of an impact.
Yeah, yeah, makes sense.
It's crazy because, as someoneagain who doesn't really have
pets, sometimes you'll hear orI'll hear over the years, like
oh yeah, we can breed theseanimals and then we can sell, we
can make a lot of money.
So it's basically just afinancial thing for people, but
they don't realize there's ahuge ethical problem with that,
because they're just breedingthese live animals just for the
(36:11):
sake of economic gain, butthey're not seeing the
consequences just overpopulationor a lot of stray animals and
then people complain about it,not doing anything about it.
So I think to the point isawareness is key and then
teaching other people andadvocating and being part of the
solution is they're justcomplaining about the problem.
So there's a lot of things thatwe can all learn more from.
I think that's what I got fromit Anything else on animal
(36:34):
advocacy.
Marie (36:36):
I think that's a big part of it.
Covering that One is thatinstead of just complaining or
being hateful at the animals,think about first what they have
no control over, that and maybehow you can help with that.
J.R. (36:51):
Right, yeah, Good call to action.
We were talking about thisbeforehand too, but it was the
double standards of.
People can make their owndecisions in their diet, what
they eat vegetarian, notvegetarian, whatever.
Marie (37:03):
And then animals.
J.R. (37:04):
Right, we talked about that, but I was saying how, what
I learned in sustainability andpollution, overpopulation,
stuff like that a large reasonwhy we have a lot of pollution
nowadays is because of our foodproduction system, and a lot of
that is focused around meat anda lot of that is like to produce
a pound of, let's say, beeftakes so much water and so much
(37:26):
resources, so much land, so muchgrain, all this other stuff.
And so not saying everyoneshould become vegetarian, but
the natural progression offollowing the vegetarian arc is
that we do have a lot of lesswaste, a lot less pollution,
like a more ethical foodproduction system.
And so there's those placesthat advocate like meatless
(37:47):
Mondays or just reducing theamount of meat you consume and
putting it less on a pedestal,and so I'm an advocate for that.
I'm not gonna say that I'mgonna judge people who eat meat
or who don't eat meat, but Ithink it's something to consider
in terms of ethical treatmentof animals, because I think most
people you're so separated fromhow you get your food you just
put it in your mouth when it's aburger, but you don't realize
that all these cows, chickens,cows, chickens and pigs are kept
(38:13):
in these inhumane conditions,they're slaughtered, and then
all of that produces a lot ofwaste and then it goes into our
environment and then again ittakes a lot of water to create
like one pound of chicken, andso it contributes to all this
problem.
But I think if we just had moreawareness, that could be a start
to it.
Figuring out your diet, what'smore sustainable, things like
that, I think.
Just awareness and lessjudgment on other people too.
We can be fine with people'sdiet choices, but just don't
(38:34):
have a double standard injudging someone else on what
they eat and then vice versa andthat's oh, I'm better than you,
or something like that.
I don't think that's the way togo.
Marie (38:40):
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
You know what.
I appreciate that because ofall of that information that you
talked about, because eventhough, like you said, you, even
though you don't know too muchabout animals and maybe somebody
else doesn't know too muchabout what you talked about,
like the sustainability and howmuch waste we produce by this
and that, but all of thattogether and the awareness for
(39:02):
that, I think it's the bestthing, because we are, for one,
very disconnected from the foodthat we eat, even just from
burgers and chicken and thingslike that and pork, as opposed
to other people who go out andhunt their food and then they
eat it sustainably right, andthey don't over hunt or anything
like that, but they use allpart of the animal stuff.
J.R. (39:23):
Like that makes a lot of sense and it's more sustainable.
But our food production systemis vastly unsustainable and we
produce a lot of waste.
So like what?
40 50 percent of that food goesto waste anyways.
What are we wasting all theseresources for this system?
Just because people love meatand as the people it's like the
I don't get the whole puttingmeat on a pedestal.
It's okay, I get you like meat,but it's oh.
I could never do this because Ilove this thing so much, and
(39:46):
it's okay, fine, but maybe dosome research as to what goes
into that meat that you love somuch and then you can make a
more informed decision.
That's fine.
But it's just those people whoI feel like are such avid, like
dead animal eaters.
I say that judgmentally.
I eat animals, obviously.
I eat plenty of beef and porkand stuff like that.
But I think it's just awareness.
You know what you're gettinginto, you know what you're
(40:06):
contributing to and then you canmake a better decision.
Okay, maybe I don't eat as muchmeat, or maybe I don't put on a
pedestal, or maybe I try to eathealthier, with more vegetables
, more sustainably.
I don't think that can hurt.
Marie (40:16):
Right.
Oh, yeah, I totally agree withyou and I appreciate that too,
because just having thatawareness even if you're not an
advocate for animals, but youknow still at least know what,
what's going into all thatprocess and all the waste too,
and, like I was telling you,know still at least know what's
going into all that process andall the waste too.
And like I was telling youearlier, I think, in our
(40:36):
conversation, is that I amguilty of when those people who
will say, oh, this culture orthese people, they do this and
that.
But there are a lot of peopleout there who even, like you
said, they use the whole animal.
They don't just hunt for sport,but they use it and they even
appreciate the animals.
I've read just recently aboutcertain cultures that even
(40:59):
appreciate, they give thanks tothe animal for whatever purpose
and for before they eat them andthe food and stuff and people
will criticize them without evenknowing what exactly they do
with animals, but then againthose are the same people who
are so disconnected that theydon't know that the burger
they're eating that they camefrom the slaughterhouse in worse
(41:21):
and really inhumane conditions.
J.R. (41:24):
Random side tangent, but my senior thesis in college was
on sustainability, which israndom because it's not like I
ever talk about it, but itinforms a lot of how I see
things.
But if you ever watch one ofthose videos of slaughterhouses
it'll definitely make youquestion what you eat, because I
know, after I took a class onsustainability and food
production, I was vegetarian fortwo months.
I was like maybe I should.
(41:44):
I'm obviously not now, but Idon't put meat on a pedestal.
Marie (41:48):
But it's just good for awareness, I think, since we're
so disconnected and even youdon't have to just completely be
a vegetarian, but think ofother options and maybe other
things, or maybe just eating itless.
No, less.
J.R. (42:03):
There are options for more sustainably sourced food so
there's always that.
Obviously there's cost, butjust awareness, that's all I can
ask for anything else before wego to rapid fire questions
we're about that time to dorapid fire, of course yes that's
not what you said earlierbecause originally this was
going to be a random showepisode, but then we got like
(42:24):
main topics focused on like mymom's experience.
I'm like, oh yeah, we can justdo a standard episode and then
I'll chime in too.
But I think we can do it.
It's be fun.
You can pass on any of them.
You're like, eh, I don't have athing and I'll cut it out.
Marie (42:34):
Okay, yeah.
J.R. (42:35):
All right, so billboard question If you could put up a
sign for millions of people tosee, what would it say?
Marie (42:41):
I have thought about this one.
J.R. (42:43):
See you listen to every episode.
You know all the questions.
Marie (42:48):
So for that question I would say do something for
someone else other than yourself, no matter how small or how big
.
That's a good one.
J.R. (42:58):
I've never heard anyone say that Guest number 42 on the
show Meaning it was a veryoriginal unique answer.
What is one of the hardestchallenges you face and what did
you learn from it?
Marie (43:15):
Well, having an amazing second son, first son, that's
just so easy to raise, I think,without having to think too much
about it.
I would say, probably when yourkids get older and then they go
on their own.
But the thing is, I think, ifyou want, I think just with,
like your brother, because he'sthe third one, he's the youngest
there are a lot of things thatyou don't want to.
Definitely it's hard when youguys don't live close by.
(43:35):
So the challenging thing isthat.
But I know that that's what youknow, you guys want and that's
what's best for you at the time.
That's what you want becauseit's your life.
So, yeah, that there are a lotof challenging things, but but I
can say that for one.
J.R. (43:52):
So your kid's moving away Well, not just moving away, but
the feeling of that, even thoughthat's what will make them
happy.
So their happiness is firstSelf-inflicted wound.
Do you have a story aboutsomething that's gone wrong in
your life that you can't blameanyone else but yourself?
Marie (44:09):
Well, you can't blame anybody.
It's going to have to befinances.
So I want to blame it on when Iwas younger, and you don't know
too much yeah but I think Istill do that, even when I was
older than that.
So I think it's like anythingelse, it just takes practice.
(44:30):
And then, because you said it'slike self-inflicted right, I
think the same as for otherthings that are self-inflicted
you don't just get it right thenext time around.
You got to keep doing it andpracticing it.
J.R. (44:47):
Similar vein.
If you could redo one thing,what would you do differently,
if anything, if?
Marie (44:51):
you could redo one thing.
What would you do differently,if anything?
I'd probably say, even withhaving kids, just even though,
as hard as it may be, I wouldhave wanted to finish college or
go to school earlier.
J.R. (45:03):
If you could give your younger self advice, what would
it be now, Any age?
Marie (45:08):
any time period.
I'd probably say to my youngerself keep going to school, Go to
school.
J.R. (45:12):
Yeah, yeah, nice.
Marie (45:16):
How do you define success ?
So I would say, from listeningto….
J.R. (45:21):
Driving a.
Marie (45:21):
Lamborghini?
No, maybe when I was younger Iwould probably say that, but not
the first thing.
But I do want to say thatsuccess is when someone is doing
what they really want to do.
But I also want to add to thatis that if I think success is if
(45:42):
someone is doing what they wantto do and also can impact
somebody else with that, it'snot just about doing what you
want to do, but also like beingthat positive in the world yes,
yes, definitely I like it if youknew you couldn't fail, what
would you try or what would yoube doing right now?
just one thing is.
J.R. (46:03):
You can say whatever you want.
Marie (46:06):
You have a list well, one of the two things I'd probably
have is Twins.
Twins, yes, but that's out ofmy control.
That's something I can'tcontrol, but you always know
that I said, I would want two ofyou, and two of your brother
and two of your sister.
J.R. (46:26):
Okay.
So if you couldn't fail, whatwould you be doing now?
Or trying, or whatever Fail.
Marie (46:32):
Absolutely couldn't fail what I would probably be doing
is probably finish medicalschool being a surgeon and then
being a surgeon for one of thosenon-profits like.
J.R. (46:43):
Mercy Ships.
See, I was just waiting for youto say that because I knew the
answer.
I was seeing if you were goingto say it.
Marie (46:49):
You're probably one of the few people, yeah.
J.R. (46:52):
If you knew you would absolutely fail anyways, what
would you be doing?
Marie (46:55):
It's good Wait.
J.R. (47:01):
The confusion on my mom's face for all the audio listeners
.
So the spirit of the questionis we don't do things because
we're scared of failing, butthere are some things in life
that, even if we fail, we woulddo anyways.
Marie (47:12):
Oh yeah.
J.R. (47:12):
That's what I mean well, I probably have more kids all
right, what is something you'vebeen pondering frequently or
deeply and something you've beenthinking about a lot I think
maybe because I'm older now 29is not old.
Marie (47:33):
Compared to.
I think what I've been thinkingabout lately is something that,
like, when you're gone, notjust your legacy or something
people will remember you by, butsomething that you can pass
down, that can keep on going, asfar as teaching or helping
someone, because you can helpone person, and then it stops
(47:57):
there, because when you're gone,then it stops there.
But if you can teach or have animpact on somebody else who can
do that as well, then the worldwould definitely be a better
place.
J.R. (48:09):
So teach teachers, raise teachers.
Marie (48:11):
Yeah, I like it yeah.
J.R. (48:14):
What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments
you've ever made in either time,money, energy, etc.
Marie (48:18):
I know I've heard this before, but I didn't think about
it.
She's heard this 35 times or 34, something like that and then I
always wonder when I'm watchingit what are they going to say?
So now all of you are like whatis she going to say?
You know what?
I'm sorry, but I can't think ofanything.
J.R. (48:40):
Not like sending your son to college or… I'm just kidding.
Oh, another thing my mom's paidfor is my first car.
You definitely paid for all ofthat, so I appreciate that.
Marie (48:54):
But you put that car… yeah, yeah I had it for 12 years
.
J.R. (48:56):
I'm like get the money's worth out of it.
I drive try to get the most outof my car finances.
Marie (49:02):
Okay, favorite recent purchase in the 50 to 100 range
recently that has impacted yourlife the most well, okay, okay,
I thought about this, but onlywhen I was listening to all of
your podcasts, but I didn'tthink about it.
But something did come to mind.
For a long time I've beenlooking for when I was younger I
(49:24):
just was into nice purses andthings like that and now because
I feel like my life becomebusier, like with animals,
animals and work and even likestudying, so I've had to and
I've gone through maybe four orfive like purses that would be
really functional and you'd besurprised After maybe four or
(49:46):
five, and I've returned some toAmazon Because they just didn't
fit all the necessary things Iwant, but I didn't want
something too big.
So I finally finally got yeah,and I think it was less than $30
the right, right size purse andthat I can carry around even
with all the things that I'mdoing okay, maybe I might ask
(50:06):
you to send me that link so Ican link it in the show notes.
J.R. (50:09):
Oh, maybe they want the same purse as you.
The host's mom has this purse,so she advocates for it.
Might as well get thataffiliate link, okay.
Last rapid fire questionsFavorite books, movies, videos,
articles, media or anything thatyou recommend or share the most
.
Marie (50:30):
I'm still reading it.
It's called Mountains BeyondMountains and it's about.
His name is Dr Paul Farmer, andhe's a physician from Harvard
and he also has his PhD.
But aside from all that, hebuilt this hospital in Haiti,
but he started as, and he's hadto go through like all the
challenges politically andeconomically just politically
(50:57):
and economically and forbuilding these hospitals and to
the end result is to provideaccessible health care for these
different countries, like Haitiis the first one that he did,
and I think the next one is likePeru.
J.R. (51:06):
So it's a really good book so it's like a not biography,
but or is?
It or he wrote it, but it'sabout a biography, or he wrote
it, but it's about his journey.
Marie (51:14):
No, somebody else wrote it about him.
Yeah, so he is, and I mentionedthis.
He's a medical anthropologist.
J.R. (51:21):
Oh okay, gotcha, he's still alive.
Marie (51:25):
He just passed a couple years ago.
J.R. (51:27):
Okay, okay, so it's about him and his work and what he's
done.
Yeah, oh, I see, oh nice.
Marie (51:38):
I'll.
So it's about him and his workand what he's done.
Yeah, oh, I see.
Oh, nice, I'll link to that.
Any other recommendationsthings people should check out
one of my, one of my favorites,because we talked about like
challenges with the finances andI think I heard about this book
from you and I still, and ithelped me because it's something
that anybody can use andanybody can apply it, whether
you make a million dollars or$30,000 a year, and that's the
one by Ramit.
J.R. (51:59):
I Will Teach you To Be Rich.
Marie (52:00):
Yes, and it sounds.
J.R. (52:02):
Don't be deceived by the title, the clickbaity title.
Marie (52:06):
Yeah, but we've read a lot of books on finances, and I
think that's the best book tostart with, because you can
apply it easily and anybody can,and it really helps yeah, no, I
always recommend that.
J.R. (52:19):
When it comes to personal finance, that book is like the
number one because it's sopractical and it's solid advice.
It's not gimmicky, it's notquick fix or fast money, it's
solid principles that you justdo this for the next 10, 20
years, you'll be fine.
Highly recommend it.
I'll link that as well.
Okay, that is it for rapid fire.
Now we'll go to endingquestions.
So we always end with gratitude.
(52:39):
Shout out to my mother,wherever she may be, right now,
maybe two feet away from me.
But, mom, what are you gratefulfor?
Marie (52:46):
Well, I'm grateful for my kids.
I will say that.
J.R. (52:49):
So unexpected.
Marie (52:56):
And that's the truth.
And then for my health, becauseyou don't have that, and I
think people take that forgranted too, so I think I always
say that when people arecomplaining like, you have your
health, yeah and your family'shealthy.
J.R. (53:05):
You're healthy, that's like honestly, baseline right.
Yes, yeah, which child are youmost grateful for?
Marie (53:16):
I already said my answer.
There are no.
I have no favorites.
If it's me continue to breathe.
J.R. (53:23):
Okay, cool, nice, perfect.
We got it on camera.
Marie (53:27):
Okay, I'll throw in my this is unexpected because he
didn't tell me this.
Obviously, it's my show.
I can do whatever I want,that's true.
Okay, I'll throw in my this isunexpected because he didn't
tell me this.
J.R. (53:32):
Obviously it's my shogun do whatever I want that's true
um okay, I'll throw in minegreat gratitude.
I'm also grateful, obviously,for my parents as well.
This question, this piece, isinspired by my mom.
Obviously, one of the biggestthings she's given me is the
attitude of gratitude.
Yeah, everyone around me, myhealth as well.
Yeah, just being able to see myfamily, I think that's a big
thing because, yeah, you said, alot of my gratitude comes from
(53:53):
my mom and like her perspective.
So I think, yeah, values alignthere.
Thank you, you're welcome.
Final ask from the audience orfinal takeaways you'd like them
to have?
Marie (54:06):
I think that's one of the biggest things, is that
gratitude, and I'm also gratefulfor my parents and thank you
for, for I was really excitedwhen you mentioned this to me,
so I was always.
I'm always watching yourpodcast and watching people on
there, so, yeah, really excitedyou're my number one fan and
supporter, so of course you getthat.
J.R. (54:26):
Yeah, no, definitively like.
That's not even.
There's not even a top 10.
It's just my mom, which Iappreciate.
So, yeah, I think that's itwhere we can find you, even a
top 10.
It's just my mom, which Iappreciate.
So, yeah, I think that's itwhen we can find you.
I'll link your socials.
I don't know if you care ifpeople reach out to you, but if
they just want to check out whatyou're up to, I'll link my
mom's Instagram.
It's right there.
I think it's private, right, oris it public?
Okay, yeah, then it'll be there, cool, all right.
(54:50):
Well, that is the end, mom,thank you so much for being here
.
I really appreciate it.
I'm glad it worked out.
Yeah, yeah, I think I don'tknow what else to say.
Thank you for the birth.
You know every one of mybirthdays is a birth anniversary
of my mom giving birth, so Iappreciate that.
Yeah it's a pretty good gift.
All right, my final sign off.
(55:17):
Thank you guys for being here.
Remember to subscribe, follow,like comments.
Leave my mom some love in thecomments below, wherever you're
seeing this, and let me know too, if you like this episode, what
you want to see.
More of feedback, we lovefeedback and a reminder to
always be kind to other people,especially yourself, and
reminder that you can alwayslearn something from someone if
you take the time to listen.
So thanks for being here.
You.
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