#49: Justin Tran - Maid Cafes, Navigating Unhealthy Relationship Patterns, and Pushing the Boundaries of High Fashion - One Thousand Gurus Podcast

Episode Transcript
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J.R. (00:00):
Hello my wonderful listeners and welcome back to
another fun episode of 1000Gurus with me, your host, JR
Yonacruz.
Today's guest is Justin Tran.
Justin is a self-proclaimedjust a regular dude, but beneath
his humble exterior lies a manof dedication, persistence,
compassion, self-awareness andthe desire to constantly improve
his emotional intelligence.
Above all else, he seeks peacewithin himself and connection

(00:21):
with those who feel like home.
So I was excited to have Justinon the show for a reason I get
into it in the episode, which issome of the conversations that
we've had were actually coreinspirations for this podcast.
We're friends, but we're barelymore than acquaintances, to be
honest, because we've spent solittle time together.
We've only really hung out twoor three times in person at
parties, but we've had such goodconversations that were very

(00:42):
deep and vulnerable and I barelyknew him at the time, but
regardless, it was nice becausehe's also a fellow fitness
enthusiast.
He's also into Japanese culture, like anime and maid cafes, and
he's really big into fashion,or specifically high fashion,
and the meat of what we talkabout is relationships, trauma
therapy, PTSD, unhealthypatterns, self-love and

(01:02):
surrounding yourself with theright people.
It was a very wide-rangingconversation and very vulnerable
, so hopefully you guys enjoy it.
So, without further ado, hopeyou enjoy this episode with
Justin Tran.
Hello everyone and welcome backto 1000 Gurus.
Please welcome my guest, Justin.

Justin (01:19):
What's up?
It's your boy, justin Tran.

J.R. (01:24):
Thanks for being here, justin, I really appreciate it.
Thank you for having me.
Yeah, I've been wanting to haveyou on the show for a little
bit, so I'm glad you made it out.
I know it's kind of hot todaybecause driving here you said
there was a couple fires.
Yeah, you probably started itbecause you're so hot, so shame
on you.
Let me go into how I know you.

(01:46):
So we met through our mutualfriend, dan, and we've both
danced on choreos, butseparately, and we only hung out
like a couple times at variousparties a couple times at your
place and once at genesis'splace.
But what?
The reason why I wanted you onthe show is because I felt like
those few times we had such deep, profound, long conversations
and it was one of those thingswhere, if I look at the
inspiration for this show, it'sconversations like those that

(02:06):
were like I wish these wererecorded because they're so good
.
I tell the story a lot, but ifI ever bring up justin in a
conversation, I'm like, oh, yeah, one time he walked in and then
like within two seconds I waslike, hey, let's talk about
trauma.
And then we just went into itfor an hour and a half like zero
to 60, which is not a normalthing to do with people that you
just meet or acquaintances, butI thought it was really.
It was fun, enjoyable and veryprofound to me.

(02:28):
So, yeah, I think that's whatstood out about you to me is
that you're very thoughtful,reflective, you are big into
fitness, cosplay, fashion andactually you referred me to my
former fitness coach, ryan, whowas episode number 13.
And we worked together for overtwo years as my fitness coach,
ryan, who was episode number 13,and we worked together for over
two years as my fitness coach,and I see your posts about

(02:49):
traveling, photo shoots and,yeah, just wanted to invite you
to connect with you and talkabout some of these things,
thank you.
Thank you for having me anyclarifications or anything else
that you're up to what I've beenup to.

Justin (03:00):
So I finished Anime Expo .
So I been up to, so I finishedanime expo, so I wouldn't call
myself a cosplayer.

J.R. (03:07):
I guess like a casual cosplayer for fun.

Justin (03:10):
Okay, because there are people out there who've done?

J.R. (03:12):
crazy.
I see it's like there's levelsand there's tears.

Justin (03:14):
Yeah, I one of the days, or what I'm known for is toji
fushiguro from jjk.

J.R. (03:19):
Yeah they based that character off you yeah, yeah,
definitely without a doubt.

Justin (03:24):
Yeah, but I say a casual costume because I literally put
on a compression shirt.
A lot of pants were made by mygirlfriend's mom and I just had
my hair and my girlfriend did mymakeup and the only thing I was
wearing is my own skin.
So I just walked around and itwas like, oh my god, buff as
hell I'm like thank you rightnow.
There is another convention injanuary that is anime la, and I

(03:50):
am cosplaying a different buffcharacter would you like to
reveal it or is the secret until?
then it's a secret until then.

J.R. (03:56):
Okay, cool, we'll look forward to that okay, so I want
to start off first with yourphotos.
So we'll go into these fourdifferent photos, your before
and afters.
We'll see for the video peopleyou can see which ones are
before and afters.
So photo number one.
Photo number two so where?
Are these the same person.
Photo number three who's thischaracter?

Justin (04:19):
this is me.
I'll be from zelda zone zero.

J.R. (04:21):
I just did a gender bent oh dope, I don't want to wear a
wig, so this is my hair, it'sall good.

Justin (04:25):
And then number four.
That's why I basically dressevery single day when I go out.

J.R. (04:29):
Yeah, no, for real.
That's what it seems like.
The question was how did you gofrom that to that, Like the
first couple to the secondcouple?

Justin (04:49):
But I think we, but do you have any thoughts on a tldr
of that journey, like how didyou go from high school, justin?
to current justin.
I think the biggest thing forme was to look like an anime
character.
And here I am.
I dressed up as toji, yeah, andI look like every generic buff
dude with straight hair, but ifyou want to be a bit more deep,
a lot of it comes from, honestlylike spite, because growing up,
just like I grew up in a placewhere there wasn't a lot of
asian people, so a lot ofexperience, racism, childhood,

(05:13):
like being called the c word,the g word, and it's just I
don't feel like I belonganywhere.
And being in college where youmeet many more people, there's
people who come up to you likeyou look good for an asian.

J.R. (05:28):
I'm like huh so is that a compliment?
I don't know it's.

Justin (05:33):
It's ridiculous.
So a lot of it honestly isspite, but it got to the healthy
point of my life.
I'm like I want to look like ananime character.
So it began as a becoming ananime character and then
experiencing a lot of passiveracism and then overcoming that
and screw it all.
I'll go back be anime character.
I like it cool.

J.R. (05:56):
All right, we have a couple of intro questions.
So first one is if you checkout Justin's IG and we'll link
everything here is I would say Iwould describe it if you're
audio.
Only it's like it looks like afashion catalog if I were to
open it up and I don't know howto describe the style, but it's
very like the fourth photo, likeall black, sometimes leather,

(06:17):
sometimes just other textures.
It's almost like goth.
But I'm uninformed and I'm likeignorant.
So like, how would you describeyour style?

Justin (06:25):
It's hard to say because I don't think there is a name
for my style.
I think a generic label wouldbe high fashion, high fashion
like Yoji Yamamoto.
Ando Milmister, rick Owens.
So a lot of my styling is justshapes and textures.
Goth, I think, is a little bitin a different category and I
don't really put myself in thatposition.

(06:46):
So I guess people would be like, oh, this guy's like the dark
version of jojo, bizarre anime,or the stand user.
So I don't think I don't have atitle or a label for myself
other than just like highfashion okay, so high fashion in
black and black.

J.R. (07:03):
So obviously the aesthetic again, if you're looking at the
page, you'll get what I'mtrying to describe, but it's
yeah high fashion.

Justin (07:10):
Very intricate textures, patterns like layered clothing
a lot of comments when likerandom people on the street.
So you look like a wizard, youlook like someone from, like a
sith lord from star wars I guessbecause it's like very all
black, but then very drapey alittle intimidating.
I promise you I'm notintimidating, I'm pretty goofy,
pretty weird.
So don't let my social, yeah,intimidate you like it.

J.R. (07:34):
Okay, correct me if I'm wrong.
It seems like you are a fan ofjapanese culture.
I think you've traveled thereat least a couple of times.
Could you explain what I mean?
You already mentioned anime andthen high fashion.
Is there anything in particularthat draws you to Japanese
culture?

Justin (07:49):
To be honest, actually no, no Fashion.
The fashion in Japan is sodifferent than the fashion in
America.
I think, being in Japan,everyone is so open-minded and
sensitive in terms of just likethe awareness of how people
dress People.
In America, the way I see it,people are very comfortable and

(08:10):
people are afraid to go againstthe status quo.
People want to blend in so theydon't stand out too much.
But in Japan people want tostand out.
It's crazy because peoplepeople, if they want to get
their mail, they dress up, theyput on makeup just to get mail.
But you know people in americathey come up bummy, baggy, pj,

(08:33):
sometimes shirtless, a dirty tand just pick up mail.
But people in japan are sodifferent that they put into
work, into looking good forthemselves.
I watch a lot of youtube videosand a bunch of it is just
people.
What are you wearing?
You talk about all the brandsyou're wearing and every single
person looking good forthemselves.
I watch a lot of YouTube videosand a bunch of it is just
people.
What are you wearing?
You talk about all the brandsyou're wearing and every single
person is so different.
There's no concrete style.
You have Americana, you havestreet wear, you have high

(08:55):
fashion, you have Y2K, so manydifferent people, whereas
America is just one image, onestyle.
I think, from my opinion, thiscurrent generation, especially
youth crop-t baggy pants thesilver-like style is what they

(09:16):
call it and it's an easy stylishformat that anyone can get into
.
But being in Japan, I dressgoing back.
Before japan.
I dress a little bit similar asa silver lake guy crop t baggy
pants, but black.
But going to japan, I wasinspired by so many different
people, so many different styles, drapey, black streetwear with

(09:39):
colors, y2k and vintageAmericana, and I did not want to
look like a tourist, I wantedto blend in with the culture in
Japan.
So my second year I'm like I'mgoing to up my game.
So, being in Japan, I boughtwide pants like Hakamas.

(09:59):
I got into Yoji Yamamoto, a lotof things that were quote
unquote oversized, like kind ofbig, but like drapey.
So it falls off my body verynicely as if I'm a wizard.
The way I dress right now inthis coat and a see-through
shirt and wrap pants.

(10:19):
That's what I love aboutjapanese culture.
It's the fact that I am exposedto many more things.
Before that I thought I waslike, oh, I'm at my peak level
japan humbled me very much so Isee.

J.R. (10:31):
So open your eyes to this bigger ocean of fashion
possibilities, of whataesthetics can look like,
different variations.
Maybe this is a little bit downa deeper rabbit hole than I was
expecting to go, but okay.
So you talk about japaneseculture and wanting to stand out
and that high level ofstandards in an aesthetic way.
Right, I'm trying to wrap myhead around the idea of, let's

(10:54):
say, western versus asiancultures, where western culture,
stereotypically, is more aboutindividualism and then eastern
cultures are more about likethat sort of community vibe and
then that saying of the nailthat sticks up gets hammered
down.

Justin (11:07):
I'm butchering that sort of phrase, but you know what
I'm talking about, right?

J.R. (11:09):
yeah, it's that and again, generalization but that's
usually what asian easterncultures are known for is like
the symmetry, the communal andnot the individualism.
And if you look at likecapitalism versus not right,
there's that sort ofjuxtaposition.
So I know those are differentthings, but I'm trying to wrap
my head around the contrastbetween that and then now what
you're saying is, the fashion islike everyone's trying to stand

(11:31):
out, there's a lot of variety.
It almost feels like acapitalism of fashion because
there's so many differentvarieties.
But it goes against thatconcept and it could be an
outdated concept of trying to bethe same, trying to be uniform,
trying to be like a machine oreverything is uniform.
Do you have any thoughts?
Or how could I reconcile thosedifferent ideas?
Does that make sense?

Justin (11:55):
What I'm trying to do.

J.R. (11:57):
And I could be wrong on all of these things, that's just
my, I'm bringing it up becauseyou mentioned how they're trying
to look different.

Justin (12:03):
Because a lot of the things I was saying it's just
observation and personalexperience walking around socal
these days the way I dress superdifferent.
You're just like who's this guy?
Is this guy being performativeor not?
I remember one time it I thinkit was last week it was my

(12:24):
friend's birthday.
We went to irvine spectrum andI have posted a story of our
friend group and we were alldressed in black.
Everyone looks like wizards,everyone looked like villains
and final boss.
But it captured a lot of eyeson us, a lot of people making
side comments.
A lot of people are making sidecomments, a lot of oh y'all

(12:46):
look good or other people like.
Wingardium Leviosa.
Those are coming from peoplewho don't understand the
importance of fashion, howfashion built us as a person.
I'm not saying fashion is apersonality, but fashion gives
you the confidence and it alsoexpands your horizon of what's
out there.
I don't want to look the sameFor me.
I hate looking the same.

(13:06):
I hate being stagnant where Iam in life, physically and
mentally, emotionally.
So every single day I'm like,how do I get better?
I'm not a social media guy, Ijust post FitPix, but I'm like
how can I make a better FitPixthan the last one?
I don't have an answer to yourquestion, but no, it's all good.

J.R. (13:26):
No, I know.
Again, I don't even know how toanswer the question.
I was just cause you brought upa great point and I don't
disagree and I've observed thattoo.
It was just compared to thisother idea that I've heard.
Growing up and I've experiencedis like the Eastern versus
Western cultures and theindividual versus the more more
communal societal values, andthen juxtaposing that with
fashion and things that are moreinnovative, more about standing

(13:47):
out, and I guess I'll throw inthis other reference.
There's this really olddocumentary on b-boying, right
Hip hop, and it changed myworldview a lot because it was a
documentary.
I think it's called PlanetB-Boy, maybe 2008 or before that
, and it was talking aboutfollowing these different crews
going to this internationalcompetition and they obviously
showcased Korea, south Korea,japan, america, france,

(14:09):
somewhere else, like othercountries, right, and for the
Japanese B-Boys they were sayinghow, and the documentary did a
great job showing this visually.
But it would be these B-Boysdressed up in hip-hop cult
fashion and then dancing in asubway around a bunch of people
in suits and exactly, planetB-Boy changed my life life.
I wrote a thesis on thisactually, oh, but it was like

(14:30):
what hip-hop specifically givespeople and b-boying is that
freedom to break out of thesocietal norms of, especially in
japanese culture.
What they're saying was thatuniformity and so hip-hop offers
that it's like a countercultureto the mainstream culture and
obviously things like fashionand stuff also break out of
those norms and that's why I waslike, oh, it reminds me of the

(14:51):
documentary right.

Justin (14:52):
Being here in LA is breaking that uniform, Everyone
dressing the same Againobservation.
So, as what people notice, youguys are all reforming.
It's a compliment.
Because we want to stand out.
Yeah, we look intimidating, welook scary, but we're just a
bunch of goofballs who just loveclothes and love anime and,

(15:13):
just like we are unhinged.
So we enjoy breaking the norm.
Because we also want to inspirepeople to just really put
yourself out there, becausethere's nothing wrong with
experimenting, there's nothingwrong looking different, because
people are afraid, yeah, to bedifferent I like that.

J.R. (15:30):
It's almost like a.
It's almost a visual outwardmanifestation of that idea you
want to put forth of beingdifferent and being comfortable
in your own skin and pushing theboundaries because it's an
external sort of visualrepresentation.
Okay, well, that was a longintro topic.
Did not expect that no, yeah,but it was good, because I for
me, personally I'm not intofashion.

(15:51):
So it's so amazing to hear fromsomeone who's really into it
their perspective on that,because I think props to you and
everyone who's into it.
I think fashion is amazing.
Let's go into the first topicreal quick, which is origin,
self-discovery, adulthood.
The general questions are likewhere did you grow up, what were
some of your biggest influencesand what were your aspirations
as a kid?
Good, question.

Justin (16:12):
So, starting off with the first question, where I grew
up?
I grew up in East Oakland backin 1996.
I was living with my family,two parents, two older brothers,
two grandparents, and I've beenthere my whole adolescence, my
whole teenage years, since dayzero, since I was 17,.
Being in Oakland is such adifferent world to live in.

(16:33):
I moved out after high schoolto LA to pursue a degree in film
studies, to be precise, and theculture in LA is super diverse.
Sure, oakland is diverse,definitely, but the culture in
LA is super diverse.
Sure, oakland is diverse,definitely, but the culture in
Oakland is super different.

(16:54):
You have the hyphy movement,you have really specific sound,
specific dances, specific lingos, and I still say those lingos.
But in LA it's so diversebecause you have people from
different communities, differentparts of the world.
So the biggest influence islearning different cultures.
That isn't just Oakland and ontop of that, the exposure to art
.
I was always into art butbecause of the different culture

(17:16):
of different people in my life,the way they see things is very
unique the way they see theworld, the way they see fashion,
the way they see the world, theway they see fashion, the way
they see art music is somethingthat I did not have growing up
in oakland because I just feltpersonally stagnant especially
compared to la right yeah yeahla.

(17:38):
Everyone asked me like you everthought about going back to
oakland.
I'm like no, I feel like if Igo back to oakland I'll be very
depressed, because I am hungryfor growth, I'm hungry to
discover many things and I feellike I outgrew oakland.
You could take me out ofoakland, but you can't say
oakland out of me for sure.

J.R. (17:54):
But I know I got to the point where I'm like I gotta
grow up, I gotta find who I amas a person, not the kid from
oakland yeah, I feel the sameway growing up in the Bay Area
as well, like Southeast Bay,fremont, milpitas, and it's
always home, my family's there,but I can't see myself moving
back because obviously I'm soused to SoCal OC area but the

(18:14):
diversity and culture issomething that I enjoy and I'm
used to and I think going backhome it'll feel like no shade,
obviously, but I'll feel morestagnant and like, okay, home,
this is, there's nothing newhere, there's no growth for me
here, exactly.
So I totally resonate with that.
Maybe you already touched onthis.
But the next question I had waslike how did changing your
environment after school andmoving away from home advance
your journey of self-discovery?

(18:36):
I know you said the culture isa big part of that, but anything
else?

Justin (18:38):
but, like in self-discovery, living on my own
.
I, I'm the baby of my family,so of course I've been called.
I've been spoiled 17 years andgoing to college in my late 17,
turning 18, with, of course, Ihad my parents support me,
support me financially.
I didn't have a job, but it wasthe age of meeting people, the

(19:04):
age of finding who I want to be.
So, moving to LA, I'm like Idon't want to be that shy kid
from Oakland, I want to be a newcharacter.
So I'm going to have newpersonality, new energy, new
mindset.
So I was privileged to have arestart in my life as an
18-year-old.

J.R. (19:22):
Could you walk us through these stages of life that you
mentioned, so kid Justin, teenJustin, college Justin and then
now adult Justin?
Could you walk us through thosestages that you mentioned, the
differences or maybeself-discovery?

Justin (19:35):
that you had.
Again, I was a baby boy, alwaysspoiled, and because I was
spoiled I was really naive.
I don't really see the world insuch a negative way.
Growing up, everything wasrainbows and sunshine.
And then high school happened.
So you go through, emotions,you go through hormones, the
biggest thing that period beinga teenager.

(19:57):
What are emotions?
Why do I feel a certain way?
So my early teens I was goingthrough a lot of depression but
I'm like what is depression?
Am I really depressed?
How can I be depressed if I'mjust a kid and that was

(20:18):
something that was instilledinto me because I was
invalidated for having suchfeelings?
I was just being crazy and Iwas just like overthinking or
asking for attention.
A lot of being a teenager isjust like why do I feel this way
?
How can I fix it?
I never had solutions to fix it, so disclaimer a lot of dark
side of my mind of wanting toend my life I knew that wasn't

(20:39):
the solution.
There was a moment where I wasreally close.
Of course, I thought about myfamily, thought about my friends
and I'm like nah, I got to keepgoing, but there has to be a
better way.
But being a teenager at thatera of 2010, it was such a taboo

(20:59):
, especially in the Asian familyhousehold.
You're not supposed to havedepression.
You're just a kid.
We gave you a house, we gaveyou food.
Is there to be depressed about.

J.R. (21:08):
Yeah, was there anything that helped you through those
sort of thought processes?
I know you said you thoughtabout your family.
Okay, let's keep going, right,yeah, but was there anything
specific that either happened,someone said to you, or an
experience or something youlearned that helped you through
that sort of time?

Justin (21:23):
At the time, a lot of it was just validation for my
friends.

J.R. (21:26):
I also grew up with the internet, so I was getting
validation from my onlinefriends.

Justin (21:31):
It is a good thing to get those validation, but it
became an addiction because Iwas yearning for those
validation, to feel good aboutmyself, to keep going, and
that's a really unhealthymindset because that led into
college too.
College I had to restart.
Yeah, new guy, new man, newmindset.
But that darkness still wasfollowing me.
So every time I felt lonely I'mjust depressed.

(21:55):
I feel like no one cares aboutme.
No one loves me.
In college, man, I wantedgirlfriends.
So I'm like well, I didn't getany girlfriends.

J.R. (22:03):
I'm just like I wanted them, I didn't get them.

Justin (22:11):
I'm like well, I didn't get any girlfriends.
I'm just like, I wanted them.
I didn't get them.
I'm like why does nobody loveme?
Why does nobody want me?
Like I'm cute, you know at thetime I thought I was emotionally
intelligent.
I wasn't.
I'm just questioning so manythings about my worth because I
was basing it off of otherpeople, so that definitely I
have developed anxiousattachment, the codependency on
my friends and seekingvalidation from my friends when

(22:32):
I should have never done that tobegin with.
And that fell into my first tworelationships in my early 20s.
I got into a relationshipbecause I was depressed, so I
founded someone who was givingme what I wanted and then, by
the time when they were givingattention to their friends

(22:52):
rightfully so I was like no,give it back to me.

J.R. (22:55):
That's mine Exactly.

Justin (22:57):
So I'm just like I'm just asking her out, I want her
to be mine and I got what Iwanted.
And that's the problem.
I got what I wanted because itfilled the void in me and I no
longer wanted it.
And I went through two years ofthat relationship, of just
going through so many fights,doubting myself, doubting my
partner at the time, and justbrought the bad out to both of

(23:21):
us and it didn't work out.
So after that relationship Ithought I got better, but I
ended up going to the nextrelationship bringing the same
problem from my last girlfriendto my next girlfriend.
So I didn't he, I was runningaway.
I thought I got better becauseI'm like damn, I got a better

(23:44):
mindset, I'm more confident.
The way I think is not the sametwo years ago.

J.R. (23:50):
I definitely grew, so I think I'm good now.

Justin (23:52):
Yeah, but I did not grow .
I was how do you say I wouldn'tsay trauma dumping, but I put
all my problems in my nextrelationship, problems that I
never fix.
A lot of the lack ofcommunication, a lot of lack of
critical thinking of my emotionsand the hesitation of learning

(24:14):
about the other person'sfeelings.
I wasn't the best boyfriend atthe time with those two
relationships and of course mypartner's didn't treat me well,
but no one's a good person.
So there's a lot of learning, alot of development of what is
happiness in a relationship.
How do I find love and will I?
Ever find person who will loveme for me, but will I become the

(24:40):
better person than who I wasthe first two relationships?
There's a lot of doubt and asadulthood came, I think like 25,
even now.
I went through therapy andtherapy.
I went into it like I needrelationship advice.
I ended up coming out with PTSD.
So I was like, yeah, so why amI like this relationship?

(25:00):
Why do I act like this?
Why am I always chasing girls?
Am I like this relationship?
Why do I act like this?
Why am I also always chasinggirls who are like this to me?
And yet I tolerate it for twoyears when I shouldn't have?
And then my therapist let'sstart with your childhood, let's
start with your family.
And then and a lot of it wasPTSD growing up in the Asian

(25:20):
household there's a lot of itwas PTSD Growing up in an Asian
household.
There's a lot of fightingthrough, words spanking as we
all joke about as adults.
Now we joke about it, butlooking back, it made me broken
growing up.
So I remember taking that test,the PTSD test, that my
therapist gave me.
I was crying, I was like damn.

(25:40):
I never knew that I was sobroken.
I was so hurt.
There was a most simplestquestion, but those questions
just made me like ball.
And after going through therapy, I think six months it was
pretty short because it was alsoafter my breakup and that was
when I was like I'm locking inon growing up.

(26:01):
That's where I became superaware of my emotions, super
aware of the way I think so.
If I think a certain when, Ifeel a certain way like I'm
upset, I'm like hold up why I'mupset and then I become very
relaxed and I go through thesteps of why I feel this way and

(26:22):
why I should not be reactive tothese emotions.
So, going to Justin now I'm in ahappy relationship, my two
years coming up, 8-8 affinity.
So being with my girlfriend nowI'm very calm.
I'm always looking forward toeverything.
I'm not walking on eggshells,there's no fights.
I'm always looking forward toeverything.

(26:43):
I'm not walking on eggshells,there's no fights.
There's always discussion andthe hunger to grow as an
individual and as a lover.
So that's where I am now, as aromantic person.
But as a person now I'm veryconfident.
I love clothes, I love myfriends and the things I do.
I don't apologize.
By that I meant, like thethings I love, like anime, I
mean anime Growing up oh, youwatch anime.

(27:05):
That's so weird.
Oh, yeah, I watch anime.
So what?
I go to anime expo, I dress up,dress up as a buff dude Just
can't do about it.
So yeah, Nice.

J.R. (27:15):
So it's like now you just lean into who you are
authentically, what you love andwhat you do, and thank you for
sharing that.
One of the things I wanted toask about your therapy and
journey and maybe you touchedupon a little bit of this what
are the signs that you mightneed that sort of external
guidance?
But then, on top of that, whatare some strategies that helped
you out?
I know you mentioned takingyourself out of yourself and

(27:36):
looking at it.
Third part, like why am Ifeeling this way and observing
yourself in that way andobserving yourself in that way,
which calms you down and helpsyou feel more grounded?
Were there any other thingsthat helped you in your
experience through?

Justin (27:49):
therapy that you used today.
To rewind a little bit back inyour question like how do I get
into therapy?
I got into it because I myselfand my partner, we were at our
lowest in our relationship.
You saw the need Both of youguys, yeah, and throughout both
of my relationships, I alwaysblamed myself.

J.R. (28:00):
Like the reason why our relationship.

Justin (28:01):
You saw the need.
Both of you guys, yeah, andthroughout my both of my
relationships I always blamemyself, like the reason why our
relationship is so bad becauseof me.
So everything's aboutself-blame.
I'm at fault and of course Iknow both of my exes they didn't
mean to, but there's a lot ofaccusations.
So those accusations made mefeel even worse about myself and

(28:21):
I can't help but taking thoseblame.
So it got to the point I'm likeI need therapy, I need to know
why I'm like this, andthroughout that journey it's oh,
that's not.
You're not the only one who'sat fault.

J.R. (28:35):
I realized that that's not me.

Justin (28:37):
The thing I took away from therapy other than just
like glazing it oh, therapyshould take it.
No, not everyone can havetherapy, that's fine, but what I
took away from it is beingemotionally aware.
I think that's the mostimportant thing, because we
overlook that, like we are veryreactive and that's a skill that

(28:58):
I built is to not be reactive,because being reactive can cause
problems and of course, I'm notperfect.
So there are times where I like,felt upset, like over this
stupid as reason oh, I droppedmy phone so hard on concrete and
I'm like my life's terrible.
I'm like I uh let's just endthis but no, I'm not like that.

(29:19):
So I'm just like oh, are youokay?
Is it fine yeah?
It's fine, okay, move on,instead of being like, oh, I
dropped it that used to be me soless emotionally reactive, not
letting your emotions controlyou.

J.R. (29:32):
Yeah, exactly, taking a step back.
I'm reading this book currently.
I mentioned in the last episode, which is 101 Essays that
Change the Way you Think, and ittalks about how one of the ways
that you can sorry youshouldn't try to repress or hide
your emotions allow you to feelit.
Of course, don't invalidate itright and it's like what you're
saying don't invalidate thoseemotions, feel it, but also

(29:53):
obviously don't let thoseemotions control you and your
actions, because you won't evenmake good decisions that way.
Exactly one piece of advice Igot from that book was like if
you're feeling emotionallywhat's it called Agitated, or
you're at a heightened sense,wait to bring yourself back to
neutral and then maybe make adecision, think about it
logically, et cetera.

Justin (30:12):
You have so much time in the world to even think, you
can't do your best to just notbe reactive because, as we
talked about earlier, you docause issues, not for them but
for yourself, and it's going tocause even more issues of
self-doubt and anxiety.
So you?
Have all the time in the worldto feel and then to assess

(30:32):
yourself.
How can I go through theseemotions?
And regurgitate it positively.

J.R. (30:38):
Cool.
I want to ask you we're on thistopic of relationships and I
eventually want to move.
I forgot to ask about Made Cafeand Butler cafe, but on this
relationships and love, I wantto ask what are some unhealthy
patterns that?
You've learned over the yearsto help identify in
relationships.
Obviously you have a goodcontext and experience for some
people out there who might notknow so unhealthy patterns, but

(31:01):
also maybe strategies for peopleto help navigate those
difficult relationships, orguiding thoughts or questions
what are some patterns?

Justin (31:10):
a lot of patterns in my first two relationship is being
scared to talk to your partner.
You should never be scared totalk to your partner, your
partner that's a sign, right,yeah your partner should be the
one to uplift you and she'llalways be happy to talk to your
partner.
But I was scared.
I was scared of messing up therelationship I am now.
It's okay to mess up becausewe're not perfect and you have

(31:33):
that safe space.
Now, exactly, I didn't havethat safe space.
I was accused, I was belittled,I wasn't validated to feel a
certain way because I was thefirst one to cause a problem.
And that's the biggest thing Ithink People should be mindful
of, like why am I afraid to tellthis person things right?

(31:56):
We don't want to walk oneggshells.
That's another thing, walk oneggshells.

J.R. (31:59):
I walked on so many eggshells And-.

Justin (32:01):
This floor is just all eggshells.
You don't want to crack them,you don't want to cause any
problems, you don't want to makenoise and because I was walking
on eggshells, I had to suppressmy emotions.
If I was upset, I'm like, oh, Ican't be upset because they're
going to be upset, I don't wantto fight, so I'm going to avoid

(32:21):
talking about it.
Upset and I don't want to fight, so I'm gonna avoid talking
about it and realizing thatbecoming codependent on their
happiness, so putting theirhappiness over mine.
So if they're happy, I'm happy.
If they're not, I'm not happyeither.
So you really lose yourself asa person and I think that's the
biggest thing that everyoneshould be aware of when you go
in a relationship is are you you, are you still yourself before

(32:49):
the relationship?
And if you're still yourself,are you a better person?
Those first two relationships Ilost myself.
I was definitely annoying.
I was a guy in a friend groupwho was like hold on, I got to
take this phone call, hold on Igot to step away.
I was not present with myfriends.
And it got to the point where Idid lose friends and I'm like
why am I losing people?

(33:09):
And that's because I put myselfin a situation where I did not
put myself first.
Being with my girlfriend nowshe's an extension of me to
maybe the person I am today.
So, being single before her, mylife was good.
I had a lot of friends, I wassuper healthy physically,
emotionally and mentally.
And when she came to my life,it got even better.

(33:30):
So I feel like a relationshipshould be a cherry on top of
your own life.
Of course you want to be thebest version of yourself.
Don't go for a relationshipwhen you feel the weakest,
because I did that.

J.R. (33:44):
I got what I wanted and I did not want it, and I caused a
lot of problems as well,experiencing a lot of downfall
and hurting myself in theprocess I love that insight a
lot because, juxtaposed withwhat you're saying, in your
first two relationships, thefoundation of those
relationships was lack, need notbeing enough, and so how can
you build a good relationshipoff of that foundation?

(34:05):
And then you're saying now that, going into this healthy
relationship, you werebeforehand, you worked on
yourself, you felt like more ofa complete person, and now my
belief is that, especially forour single friends out there, if
you're looking to be in arelationship, the worst thing
you can do is feeling like youneed something to make you feel
better and then thinking thatperson will solve all your

(34:27):
problems, as opposed to workingon yourself, being a whole
person.
And now that your frequency,your vibe, your wavelength is
different, you will attract adifferent type of person into
your life.
So that order of operations, inmy opinion, is so necessary.
Is you need to feel like youlove yourself, because you can
never give or receive love thatyou don't have for yourself.
Self-love is the core of alltypes of love, and so it's

(34:50):
realizing that if you feel likeyou really need a relationship
to be happy, you're already at abad start, right, definitely.
I want to ask the question nowbecause I think this is big.
This is very important to myconception of Justin, which is
how did you get into maid cafeand Butler cafes?
What is this buff dude, sorry.
One thing I did want to say too, is for audio only listeners.

(35:11):
Obviously there's this eyecandy of a guy next to me, but
for those of you who don't havethe fortune of seeing what's
underneath this, his layers,he's also at peak physical prime
.
He's he's like a chiseled Greekgod.
So imagine that in a maidoutfit.
And so that's setting the stage.
So how did you get into it?

Justin (35:29):
So I always knew about maid culture because I'm a weeb
right Getting involved with maidculture.
It really started off findingthis place called Asayoru.
So Asayoru is the firstbrick-and-mortar maid cafe in LA
that is founded by my friend,her alias Maid Sai.
I went in there for the memes.

(35:50):
I'm like, ah, cringe culture,maid Lamao, cringe.

J.R. (35:55):
It always starts off as a joke.

Justin (35:58):
So I went in there as a joke, I just want to see, and it
was a hot day too, so I waswearing tank tops.
Of course my muscles were out.
So I went with my friend andthen sat there and I was just
ordering all the special stufflike the parfait, the games,

(36:18):
performances.
Again I came in there as a joke.
I was like these are just me,let's get a parfait.
Got a parfait and then it was aperformative thing.
It was before you eat a meal ordessert, they have to cast a
magic.
Casting magic gets rid of thepoison of your food, so they hit
the more and more Q.

J.R. (36:36):
That makes sense.

Justin (36:38):
So when they hit the spell, you can eat it.
So I was like, okay, I likethat.
And then I ordered games andthe games we did just like
hungry hippos and you reallyinteract with the maids, and I
ordered the performance and thenI chose the maid I want to see
perform they go on stage andthey just start dancing and I'm
like this is crazy.

(36:59):
And on top of that, there arepeople in the audience who dance
with the maids in the back notthe same choreography, but like
fan chants, I think.
Correct me if I'm wrong, don'tquote me on that.
Basically, it's just like theyhad two light sticks and they
just go crazy.
They go dance, they scream andit's just all about vibes.

(37:19):
I'm like damn and this is alsoafter I left choreos.
A few years after I leftchoreos, I'm just like I'm
misperforming, but it was so funto watch.
And as the night ended, saicame up to me.
She's like you always thoughtabout being made.
I'm like huh, yeah, so I'mplanning a made event called
swole made or swole yoru, so thename originally.
I'm asa yoru, but the event iscalled as swole yoru and my arms

(37:42):
are out there.
So she scouted me basically andshe's like yeah, come join.
Like here's the application.
And I'm like at the time I wasself-doubting myself.

J.R. (37:52):
Yeah, I got the muscles.

Justin (37:54):
I don't have food service experience, but it's
like I just post a picture forcat.
We'll teach you.
I went through that and then Igot in and I met a bunch of
people.
I met other buff dudes andwomen and, by the way, that's
where I saw my girlfriend.
It was love at first sight at amaid cafe.

J.R. (38:11):
Oh, so she was also a maid .

Justin (38:13):
Yeah, so we were co-workers that fell in love
Nice.
I went through that fourseasons Season, like maybe
season one, season two, sothere's four seasons.

J.R. (38:23):
How long is a season it?

Justin (38:24):
was more so the frame of time.
So we had one in September.

J.R. (38:26):
Okay.

Justin (38:26):
And because Aso Yoru season one did so well, we did
Aso Yoru season two.
When was that I?

J.R. (38:32):
think it was like.
April.
Okay, so it was like about halfa year-ish or whatever.

Justin (38:38):
Yeah, and I think spot and then that did well.
Then we did another one inseptember, but we did two season
and one week, so like seasonthree and four and it lasts how
long a day it was just a weekend, oh weekend.
The first two seasons was justone weekend, from five till nine
, and then season three and fourwas saturday and sunday.

(38:59):
So I was.
It became a joke and I gotinvolved and a lot of patrons
from, like the maid cafe ohyou're Swole, justin.
I was like, yeah, that's me, Istill got it.
And then how I got involvedwith Butler Cafe also, my friend
reached out and he's like I seeyour muscles, I see the way you

(39:20):
dance, can you perform for me?
I was like, yeah, rewind.
But he did Anime Expo.
So Anime Expo had Butler Cafeand I went to the 18 plus.
So I saw a bunch of dudesshirtless, with a vest on, and
there were also women there, butthey had wigs, they had
disguises, rightfully so.
And I was seeing the danceperformance.

(39:41):
I'm like, oh my God, I missdancing, I miss performing.
And Choreos gave me thatplatform to perform A little
tangent performing theexhibition night for Choreos, oh
amazing, I'm like I missperforming so much.
So Made Cafe gave me theopportunity.
But Made Cafe, I was doing cutedances, cute dances with

(40:02):
flexing my arms.

J.R. (40:03):
And then Butlerler cafe, which I'm in the process now
it's just a bit more in mycomfort of not being too cute,
being like charming, verycharming, but I do miss covering
boy groups a little hard andall the lip bites and everything
yeah, a little sexy, but yeah,I'm currently in a process of

(40:24):
training and practicing fordances and performing, and that
is happening at the end ofaugust so the difference between
butler and made cafe is justlike butler's obviously the
attire, but you're saying is itmore dancing, less cute dancing,
or they're both performativeactually okay yeah, so like it
was a mix of serving food andthen doing magic on the food,
yeah, and then performing.

Justin (40:43):
So it wasn't real, yeah.
So like it was a mix of servingfood and then doing magic on
the food and then performing, soit wasn't real, yeah, so it
wasn't really.

J.R. (40:47):
So it's just the attire is the main difference basically,
and like the character, thecharacter right?
Yeah, okay, dang that's, Iwould say.
People check out.
Do you have videos up there ofyou doing that, or anywhere
where would you direct them ifthey want it?
They're curious about butlerand may cafes.
Okay, people check out.

Justin (41:06):
Do you have videos up of you doing that or can they see
anything anywhere?
Where would you direct them ifthey want?
If they're curious about Butlerand May cafes, okay.
So Asoyoru, you have to go onAsoyoru's like Instagram account
and they do have reels, but youhave to go back like a year or
two because it is like prettyold, and have like tiktoks the
tiktok I was in went viral andbutler cafe.
We're currently in the plansright now, but you'll eventually

(41:27):
find us when this beetle getsreleased nice, okay, I'll link
at least the first one.

J.R. (41:32):
So yeah, and then maybe if you publicize in your socials
and people check it out.

Justin (41:37):
You want to see me in the maitress?

J.R. (41:38):
I'm also out yeah, who would not want to see that?
Come on, okay.
Any last thoughts on if youwant to take it back to
relationships and love oranything else on Made Cafe.

Justin (41:49):
Honestly, I could think of any questions you have for me
.

J.R. (41:51):
I think that was a good place.
I was going to transition torapid fire questions and maybe
some of those things will comeup again.
Sure, okay, capifier, firstquestion, billboard question.
If you could put up a sign formillions of people to see, what
would it say?
Non-commercial, metaphorical.

Justin (42:07):
Metaphorical.
Oh man, I was going to say useyour damn signals when you drive
.
Please use your signals.
It's not that hard, Just flipthe switch.

J.R. (42:13):
That's fair.
Yeah, yeah, I think it's a no,it's a win-win.
We should definitely do that.
What is one of the hardestchallenges you faced in your
life and what did you learn fromit?

Justin (42:23):
hardest challenges I faced in my life is being too
hot, too attractive.
I had to work for that thebiggest challenges is being
happy and how do I learn from it, finding the right people in my
life that gives me thathappiness.
Not giving me happiness, butlike feeling that happiness.
So not just relationship, butfriendship.
So like when you have a badfriend group and they make you

(42:45):
feel like shit, damn, don't bein a friend group.
Same thing with relationship.
Walk away and find the peoplethat love you for you.

J.R. (42:54):
Self-inflicted wound?
Do you have a story aboutsomething that's gone wrong in
your life and it's your ownfault and you can't blame anyone
else because you did it toyourself?

Justin (43:01):
Yeah, can't blame anyone else because you did it to
yourself.
Yeah, my first tworelationships people were like I
just leave and I'm like I'mgonna leave.
I did not leave and then I wentthrough four years of like
depression, anxiety and trauma,ptsd.
Yeah, and I did that to myself.
I was told many times because Ididn't do it, I lost friends
and I lost myself.

J.R. (43:18):
Another guest said that too was like my friends.
All saw the signs.
I couldn't see it.
I was into it, so of course Igave myself grace, but obviously
that was a self-inflicted right.
If you could redo one thing,what would you do differently?

Justin (43:31):
as cliche as it is.
Oh, I can't undo what I did,because it put me in this course
yeah, I am now but my earringsbecause, as you can see, I have
have two on each side, but I hadthree.
So when I pierced the secondand third one, I was like I want
to put them up new rings.

(43:51):
So not even two hours in, Itook my studs off and put in my
hoops and I caused a lot ofproblems introducing bacteria,
constant bleeding.
So I spent a whole year.
My ear will swell each andevery day.
It's like a roller coaster.
It will bleed in my sleep andI'll have like dry blood on my
skin and it will hurt.

(44:12):
Yeah, so let your ears heal.
So I waited a whole year.
I went to a dermatologist andgot I get a steroid shot from my
really small keloids and I tooka chance and pierced my ears
again and thankfully I did notbleed.
It's have not swell since.
So I'm letting this current oneheal and then I'm going to go

(44:34):
back next month and pierce athird one.
And yeah, I miss having threeearrings.
But, like take care of your body.
Ear care is important.
Don't take that for granted.

J.R. (44:44):
When people tell you to keep it in and take care of it,
do that.
Listen to them.
Listen to them.
If you could give your youngerself advice, what would it be
now, any age?

Justin (44:52):
The younger self.
This advice is only for youngerme.
It's not that serious, it's notthat dramatic.
Yes feelings are real.
The way you feel things is veryvalid, but you don't need to
blow it out of proportion,because at the end of the day.
You're okay, as long as you'resafe and healthy and that you

(45:15):
keep going for yourself, not foranyone.
You're not that serious bro,good perspective.

J.R. (45:22):
In the last few years, what new belief, behavior or
habit has improved your life?

Justin (45:27):
new habit, mindset.
I changed my life, developingconfidence because I'm so
confident who I am.
Now I can be really goofy.
So like I walk around publicspace like irvine spectrum I'd
be screaming for no reason, I'djust go on my day.
So before I did not have thatconfidence, I was too shy, I was

(45:48):
too scared.
But now I can just fuck aroundbecause I'm so comfortable in my
own skin.
So, developing the confidenceand knowing that I can carry
myself and not apologize for it,I'm good.
I'm good I'll be speaking likethat.

J.R. (46:06):
What do you think helped give you that confidence, like
any things that you did, thatbuilt it?

Justin (46:11):
and it goes back to relationships.
So when you have a partner thatuplifts you and bring the best
out of you not just your partner, your friend groups or a best
friend, one person, someone whogives you the drive to just be
yourself and not apologize forbeing yourself.
So because I have a greatgirlfriend, a great friend group
, who are also pretty weird.

(46:32):
It's just a little group ofhyenas in the wilderness just
making weird noises and stickingtheir tongues out.
So choosing your social circleis very important Personally for
me.
That helped me boost myconfidence a lot and having
those people gas you up everytime you dress up yes, who would
you call successful and how doyou define success?

(46:54):
Who do I call successful?
To be very selfish myself, andhow do I define that?
How do I know I'm successful?
I'm not rich, I don't got amansion, I don't got a yacht,
but I'm very happy.
I've never been this happy andconfident in myself before
because I have the richestfriend group by riches, the most
lovable people I've ever been,the most aware, who are

(47:19):
self-aware, emotionallyintelligent, but also don't take
life too seriously, and theyknow how to choose their friends
.
They're very careful, they canstand up for themselves but also
have your back, and I find thatreally successful to have the
right community for myself.

J.R. (47:37):
I like it.
It reminds me of this reel Isaw a while ago, which was a
video of a family eating arounda dinner table.
And there's this, the text onthe video that says some people
are so poor that all they haveis money.
And it reminds me of whatyou're saying is like sure,
riches, wealth, right, but ifyou don't have the connections,
the relationships, thefriendships and feeling happy

(48:00):
with yourself, then what's thepoint of all of that?

Justin (48:02):
Exactly, and part of human nature is to build a
community, is to love not justyourself but the people around
you, and to be inspired.

J.R. (48:11):
If you knew you couldn't fail, what would you try or be
doing right now?

Justin (48:15):
swim.
I don't know how to swim, whichis a weird thing to say.
I knew how to swim as a kid.
I went to ymca and then Istarted going to ymca for a week
and I forgot how to swim.
I couldn't float and since thenI've just been afraid to swim.
And now I have too much muscleI have.

J.R. (48:33):
I barely have fat, I think it's because I have too much
muscle, not enough fat.
That's why I can't swim, guys.

Justin (48:38):
I'm like 10% body fat so I sink.
People be like oh just, I don'tknow swim terminologies or move
sets, so they just, oh just, goin circles.
I do the same thing but I sink.
So it's like I'm trying to swim.

J.R. (48:50):
When's the last time you've been in a pool or water
or anything?

Justin (48:54):
I think last summer it was like a nightly swim, my
friends gotcha, so you're justlike walking around or something
.
I was basically walking around,they were teaching me how to
swim, so I was at the edge andyou have to be like horizontal I
was still sinking, so I wasjust like god damn it.
So I was trying so hard to swim.

J.R. (49:10):
It's just physics, guys.
He's just too cut, he's justtoo much muscle, unfortunately.

Justin (49:15):
yeah, there's, yeah, there's a good balance of being.
It's the curse of being tooattractive Not even Don't be too
buff, otherwise you can't savea life in water, something like
that.

J.R. (49:27):
Do you watch One Piece at all?

Justin (49:28):
I don't.

J.R. (49:29):
Okay.
Do you know the idea of likedevil fruits or anything?

Justin (49:32):
Like.
You eat this fruit and you getpowers.

J.R. (49:35):
And then you can't swim.
So if you eat a devil fruit andyou get powers, you can't swim.
So if you eat a devil fruit andyou get powers, you can no
longer swim, you just sink.
And so my brain is like justinate a devil fruit, he can't swim
because he is a superhero.

Justin (49:46):
I had to sacrifice one thing I sacrificed.

J.R. (49:48):
He ate the muscle, muscle fruit, and now he can't swim,
okay.
Next question is if you knewyou would absolutely fail, what
would you do anyway?

Justin (49:57):
if I knew I would fail, and what I do anyways?

J.R. (49:59):
oh man drifting really yeah, I want to drift okay I
love initial d but if you knewyou'd fail, wouldn't that cause
a fatal accident?
Yeah, but at least I did itgotcha cool maybe that should
have been answered to the firstpart, which is you wouldn't fail
.
You know what you're right.
You know drive, drift, whateversame thing.
What is something you've beenpondering recently or something

(50:22):
you think about often deeply?

Justin (50:24):
Recently my proposal to my girlfriend.

J.R. (50:28):
It's so that's public, like you guys both.
She, it's public, we, oh sorry,you already proposed.

Justin (50:34):
No, no, no.
Okay, she's my wifey, but she'snot my wife.
Gotcha, gotcha.
But you guys are like… theidea's here, okay, intangible.
I've been brainstorming, I'vebeen going through a process of
like how do I want to?
Do this?
How do I want to execute it?
She knows.

J.R. (50:49):
She knows that I want to propose to her.

Justin (50:50):
So you guys are on the same page, you guys want to get
married, we do so I've beenpondering a lot about how can I
surprise her.
So it's no secret, I'm going topropose.
But like how?

J.R. (51:00):
am I going to propose?
Just thinking about it a lotCool.
Well, we won't spoil thesurprise.

Justin (51:10):
Next question is favorite hot take or something
you think most people won'tagree with.
My favorite hot take, or Iguess yeah, my favorite hot take
and many people that will notagree is men should explore and
embrace femininity.
To me, femininity is not aboutquote-unquote being girly, but
rather learning andunderstanding elegance,

(51:33):
sophistication, intentionality.
It's a power of subtlety.
So, for example, I'm wearingmakeup right now.
You don't know that.
So I have this no makeup makeuplook.
I just basically cover my razorcut from shaving.
I covered the green tint of myfacial hair.
I cover all the red spots on myface.
Another example I got my nailsdone.
They kind of outgrew.

(51:53):
But I believe self-care is veryimportant.
It's so low key, it doesn'tmake it it excessive, but the
work I put into to feel goodabout myself.
So I got my my cuticles cleanedup, oiled up, hydrated.
My nails before they were likethere's nail polishes gel, so
like a nude, somewhat pinkishcolor that just brings out my
nails more, brings attention tothe subtle details.

(52:15):
And the biggest thing isshopping in women's section.
A lot of women clothes that Ihave encountered are genderless.
Everything's about silhouette,textures, fabric, like the shirt
I'm wearing from rick owens isa women's shirt, but you don't
know that and wearing thisempowers me because I get to

(52:35):
show off my titties right and myabs.
So exploring and embracingfemininity, you don't abandon
masculinity, but rather youexpand what masculinity can be.
It helps a man to become verydimensional.
I consider myself verydimensional.
I did Made Cafe.

(52:56):
I am showing revealing things.
My pants is like half skirt,half slacks.
I got makeup on, I do my hair,got my nails done, do skincare.
So I find these things likebare minimum but like a lot of
men will not agree with mebecause it's like it's too girly

(53:16):
, it's too feminine.
But no, you're just expandingyourself.

J.R. (53:19):
You become more than who you are now what is one of the
best or most worthwhileinvestments you've ever made in
either time, money, energy oretc one of them is, I'm very
privileged to say, is therapy tohelp to have some profession to
guide me from my emotions thatI never understood.

Justin (53:40):
And the other investment is finding the right people in
my life, finding the right loverand finding the right friend
group.
That's something I alwayspreach about is finding the
right people, people that makeyou happy, genuinely not.
Oh, they make not liketransactional or conditional.
It's unconditional, Exactly.
Yes, that's what it is.

J.R. (53:58):
I like it Cool.
Do you have a favorite recentpurchase in the 50 to 100 range
that has impacted your life inthe last, let's say, six months?

Justin (54:07):
it's the recent, cheap, relatively man, the 90, 10, 10
pound ground beef from costco 90, 10, so like 90 right lean, 10
fat and I think I think it is 10pounds.
Like it really is like a logand like you cut that up it
lasts you like half a year andI'm I have one beef left in the

(54:28):
freezer, so that's like the bestinvestment I saved at the time.
Oh my god, it's whole money.
Yeah, sure, but like you, savewhole money in a lot of just
because it's very cost efficientyeah and it's coming from a
person who works out a lot andeat very boring meals.
I cook boring meals for myselfuntil my girlfriend cooks me the
most delicious meals.
I like it.

J.R. (54:47):
I recommend it yeah, man, we had this whole discussion at
Starbucks about fitness andnutrition and stuff like that.
Maybe part two.
We'll cover that the wholenutrition and eating and how to
stay on the grind and theconsistency it takes to recomp
your body last rapid fire.
Any favorite books, movies,videos, articles, media or
anything that you share orrecommend the most I recommend

(55:08):
this anime free run.
It's on netflix right nowthat's on my list, top of my
list one season, right now rightyes, it's 20, yeah, yeah, 24
episodes free ran.

Justin (55:19):
it's a little slow in the beginning, but the point of
Free Ran is to go on a journeywith her to discover emotions
and relationship, and that's themost important thing that we
talk about is being aware ofyour emotions and relationship.
It's not even a spoiler,because she outlived a lot of
her teammates, because she's anelf that can live up to 2,000,
3,000 years, but not once sheever felt anything.

(55:42):
She's like oh, it's whateverlife goes on, but this
particular team made her feelvery different and she's like
he's not in my life for thatlong.
But why am I crying?
And then she goes throughdifferent people in her life and
the people she meets help herquestion.
Why do I feel a certain way?
Why do I love this person andwhy am I attached to this person

(56:05):
?
So free run is a reallybeautiful anime.
It's a nice pace.
The pace is perfect at first.
I say that it was slow at firstbecause I came back from
watching jjk or anime like sololeveling, which is yeah every
second is yeah.
I took a year break.
I returned free run with adifferent mindset and I'm like,
okay, I'm ready.
It's definitely a show that youshould sit down and watch, but

(56:26):
definitely enjoy it and you getto learn a lot.
And besides, like the message,there's a lot of cinematography
that come, that came to it, andthere's a little film nerd in me
that I will not go into becauseI don't want to get too much
time.
Yeah, I was.

J.R. (56:42):
It's at the top of my list and I was gonna ask.
You already answered.
It was like why do you thinkit's so popular?
Like why do you think peoplelike it so much?
But I think what you saidencapsulates that I'm sold on it
even more now, because I'm likeoh, that sounds really like
your first line.

Justin (56:55):
I was like I'm sold, I'm gonna watch it if you read the
books about self-discovery mineI was like I'm sold, I'm gonna
watch it.

J.R. (57:02):
If you read the books about self-discovery free rent
is a visual book for you.
Okay, all right, it's on mylist.
Cool, all right.
That is the end of rapid firequestions.
Justin, we made it, so we'llget into ending questions.
So first off, gratitude, justin.
What are you grateful for?

Justin (57:15):
I'm very grateful to be alive.
I'm grateful to wake up everysingle day to live the life that
not many people can live.
People have gone away from thisworld and there's people who
are still trying to find purpose.
I'm very fortunate to wake up,a roof over my head and a bed to
sleep in, and clothes, hotwater, food, and I don't take

(57:38):
any of that for granted, Ofcourse.

J.R. (57:40):
I work for it definitely, but I don't take any of that for
granted.
Of course, I work for itdefinitely, but I don't take it
for granted and I'm verygrateful to have that and to be
the person I am today.
Nice, I like it.
And 10% body fat.
Any final ask from the audienceor any final takeaways that
you'd like them to have from theshow?

Justin (57:59):
The biggest takeaway is invest in yourself, invest in
your happiness.
Why being a?
Why put yourself in a positionwhere you don't feel happy?
There's a gray area being a badfriend group or bad
relationship.
I feel like you have the powerto take yourself out of it.
You just need to find thatstepping stepping stone, but
invest in yourself because it'sgoing to make you a lot happier.

(58:21):
I invested myself emotionallywith the proper love I was given
from my girlfriend my friendgroup, even my parents.
After therapy, my communicationwith parents, I've gotten a lot
better and financially buyingthe clothes I like, buying a
really expensive mattress Icould sleep in every day, buying
a new computer set so I cankeep making videos and art.

(58:44):
So a lot of that is because I'minvesting myself and it makes
me really happy.
I like it.

J.R. (58:49):
All right, justin.
Where can we find you?
Social handles, websites, email, whatever that?
If people want to see whatyou're up to or check out what
you're up to or reach out, wherecan they find you?
You?

Justin (58:58):
can find me on Instagram .
You're up to, or check out.
We're up to, or reach out, um,where can they find you?
You can find me on instagram,justin tran, underscore, so
j-u-s-t-n-t-r-a-n.
Underscore, because I'm tryingto be dark and mysterious there
you go, but I'm not.

J.R. (59:11):
Yeah, we'll have links to his social so you can follow him
see what he's up to.
All right, justin, that is it.
Thank you so much for being.
I really appreciate it.
I'm going to take a lot ofnotes on this.
I think you have such greatinsights, which I expected but,
it was nice to have you here andthe vibes you give off.
The aura is good.
I like it, thank you.

Justin (59:29):
I'm actually a great host.
Thank you for having me.

J.R. (59:31):
Thank you so much.
All right, so I'll do my finalsign off here.
I really appreciate it.
Be sure to like, subscribe,follow.
Leave me five stars, commentswhat you like about this episode
.
Leave justin some love in thecomments.
He likes it.
Kiss him too yeah, he isn'texactly and a reminder to always
be kind to other people,especially yourself, and then
reminder that you can alwayslearn something from someone if

(59:53):
you take the time to listen.
So thanks for being here.

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#49: Justin Tran - Maid Cafes, Navigating Unhealthy Relationship Patterns, and Pushing the Boundaries of High Fashion

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#49: Justin Tran - Maid Cafes, Navigating Unhealthy Relationship Patterns, and Pushing the Boundaries of High Fashion