December 15, 2025 • 28 mins
In this episode of the One Yes At A Time podcast, hosts Keidra and Susan discuss the concept of joy and its distinction from happiness, emphasizing that joy is internal and rooted in Christ, unlike happiness which is circumstantial. They explore how the holiday season can be difficult for many, and suggest practical ways to choose joy, such as getting rest, praising God, gratitude, and serving others. The conversation underscores the importance of Christian community and the significance of being content. They also address how to encourage those struggling with a lack of joy, highlighting the need for honesty, godly counsel, and spending time in God's presence. The episode concludes with reflections on the transformative power of joy which is a fruit of the Holy Spirit in the life of a believer.
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Susan Dies (00:38):
Welcome to another episode of The One Yes At A Time
podcast.
I'm Keidra...
here with my friend Susan.
Yes.
I'm so excited because we..
Uh huh...
get to talk about joy today.
And you embody joy.
Well, I hope it exudes throughthe microphone..
because joy is one of thosethings that I think we all, as
believers, should absolutelycarry and present to the world.
(00:58):
Yes.
So I think a lot of times whenpeople think about joy, they
think about it, from theperspective of happiness.
They think joy and happiness areone in the same.
They're not synonyms.
That's right.
They're, they're completelydifferent.
How do you see the difference inthe two?
They are.
Susan Dies (01:13):
Before we jump into that, I want to just say
something just because when thiscomes out, it's coming out
during this Christmas season.
Yeah.
And we were talking about how wejust got through Thanksgiving...
in a few weeks we're gonna becelebrating Christmas.
Everything's festive and bright.
It's supposed to be the happiesttime of the year..
It's supposed to be...
right?
Yeah.
And yet we know that's not truefor everyone.
(01:33):
And so instead of being filledwith joy, some people are
instead filled with a sense ofemptiness or maybe even a sense
of sadness.
It Can be a real struggle.
And so the timing of thispodcast,'Say Yes to Choosing
Joy' is perfect, and I reallyhope it's gonna be helpful and
insightful.
I think the biggest differenceis happiness is what happens to
(01:55):
you..
Mm-hmm...
and so it's external.
Yes.
And joy is something thathappens on the inside of you..
That's so good...
and so it's internal.
Keidra Hobley (02:03):
Yeah.
And it's funny you say it thatway because the root word for
happy..
Mm-hmm...
is the same root word forhappenstance.
Okay.
So our happiness is based onhappenstance.
Your circumstances.
That's right.
It's circumstantial.
So when you say what happensoutside, that's what generates
happiness..
Right...
versus what happens on theinside.
So our happiness is based oncircumstance..
(02:27):
Right...
but our joy is based on Christ.
Yes.
Like that's the difference.
Right.
And so happiness is temporary,because our circumstances can
change in a moment.
Right.
But God is the same today,tomorrow..
Amen...
and forever.
So joy is eternal.
Yes, it is.
We can never lose it.
That that is, that is it?
That is it.
Susan Dies (02:46):
I was thinking though that joy and happiness,
they do overlap.
I mean, there is definitely ajoy component in happiness.
Yeah.
When we're happy we do feel joyin our heart, but as you said,
happiness is rooted in thingsthat are constantly changing.
Keidra Hobley (03:01):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
When you said that, I thinkabout things like, I just got a
new job.
I'm really happy.
Yeah.
And now this..
And then you lose that job and..
Right...
and now I'm not happy anymore.
I just got married.
I'm so happy.
We just had a fight.
I'm not happy anymore.
And so I think because of thefact that we base so much of our
identity on things that make ushappy..
(03:23):
Mm-hmm...
when those things that make ushappy no longer make us happy..
Mm-hmm...
we lose who we are.
You know?
Can you see that?
Because I had a fight doesn'tmean that I no longer need to be
in relationship with thatperson.
Right.
But when you have joy you seepast the circumstance.
Right.
And so I think that is importantfor us to realize that the
difference between being happyand having joy is that joy will
(03:47):
work through the hard times.
Mm.
Happiness wants to quit.
That's so good.
Susan Dies (03:50):
Yeah.
Joy, because it's not rooted infeelings necessarily..
Mm-hmm...
it is a feeling, but it's notrooted in the feelings..
Yeah...
and it's not rooted in thecircumstance...
so you can not feel happy..
Yes...
and still have joy.
Keidra Hobley (04:04):
That's the key.
Mm-hmm.
That is critical.
That's critical.
Yeah.
And so we're we're not talkingabout being fake, or pretending,
or just plastering a smile onyour face to look like you have
joy.
Right?
Right.
We're talking about somethingthat's genuine.
So I'm glad you mentioned thatyou can be joyful and maybe not
be happy..
Right...
because sad things happen...
(04:25):
and we're gonna getdisappointed...
and we may bawl our eyes out butwe do it knowing that when we
sow in tears, we reap in joy.
So there's still joy even in themidst of the tears.
Right.
But no, the Bible says'those whosow in tears will reap in joy'.
So your tears, you can let'emflow freer, because you realize
they're seed.
(04:47):
Tears are seed for joy.
Susan Dies (04:49):
I love that.
Yeah.
I've never really thought aboutthat.
Keidra Hobley (04:51):
But that's what the word says, right?
It's what the word says.
Those who sow in tears reap injoy.
What do we sow?
We sow seed, right?
So that means they're seed.
Mm-hmm.
And if I'm sowing my tears asseed, I'm gonna reap a harvest
of joy.
So let'em flow.
So we can be sad..
Mm-hmm...
and still have joy.
As a matter of fact, I can besad, sow my tears, and have even
(05:13):
more joy.
So, the devil can't win if wereally understand the word and
where joy comes from.
Right.
Yeah.
Susan Dies (05:21):
When you hear the phrase'choose joy'...
what does that mean to youpersonally?
Keidra Hobley (05:25):
That means that I have a say in whether or not I
show up joyful or not.
Hmm.
I get to choose.
You get to choose.
Mm-hmm.
I get to choose whether or notI'm gonna stay stuck in a state
of sadness.
Right.
I'm gonna feel what I feel andthen I'm going to choose to come
out of that.
Susan Dies (05:43):
I like that.
Yeah.
I think the first thing thatcomes to my mind is that joy
isn't something we can willourselves to feel.
Yeah.
We can't just say,'Today I'mgonna choose joy'...
and all of a sudden I feeljoyful.
Mm-hmm.
But choosing joy puts us on thatpath..
Yes....
to experiencing God in a waythat we experience that joy
again because joy is a fruit ofthe spirit.
(06:05):
Yes, it is.
It's not worldly joy, it's thejoy that God gives us..
Yes...
that we cannot get any otherway.
And so to choose joy is tochoose to focus my heart and my
mind on Jesus..
Yes...
instead of whatever it is that'scausing me to feel that lack of
joy, because we can't bethinking about both things at
the same time.
And then, like you just said, tochoose not to let our
(06:27):
circumstances or our feelingsdictate..
Mm-hmm...
how our day is gonna be.
Right.
Because, you know, I think a lotof times we can get up on the
wrong side of the bed..
Mm-hmm...
and we can choose to stay inthat mood..
Yeah...
for the rest of the day.
Or we can choose to do somethings to get us out of that.
Right?
Yes.
We have a choice.
We do have a choice, as yousaid.
Keidra Hobley (06:44):
And we can choose to get back in bed and get up on
the other side.
Right, right.
Like I would literally dosomething like that just for a
visual image for myself.
Susan Dies (06:53):
I can see you doing that.
I can see you doing that.
Can you think of a time in yourlife though, when even as a
believer, joy did not comenaturally to you and you had to
intentionally choose it?
Keidra Hobley (07:04):
Yeah, sometimes we are, asked to do things that
we just don't wanna do.
That's me.
But when you're a servant.
When you are a servant leader,when you're here to be like
Christ, when you're here to givefor others, it doesn't matter if
you want to or not.
That's right.
And so in those kinds ofcircumstances, for me, I choose
joy.
(07:24):
I choose to not just do it, notjust serve in that capacity, but
I choose to serve with joy..
Right...
in those times, even though it'snot something that I would've
preferred to do.
Yeah, it's not something Ienjoy, but I could do it...
in joy.
Susan Dies (07:39):
Does it make sense?
Oh, I like that.
Yeah.
That's a good play on words.
Yeah, I like words.
Thanks.
You were talking about the'wantto'..
Yes...
I think the want to comes oncewe choose to have that servant
heart That's so good.
Like I wanna do it in joy...
then the Holy Spirit gives usthat joy.
That's so good.
And so I think that's good...
to know that when we make anychoice to be obedient to God..
(07:59):
Mm-hmm..
He blesses us with whatever itis that we need to do that
thing.
That's so good.
that's so good.
I was thinking about, so I'mgonna get real here.
Sometimes when you're teaching,it seems like you got it all
together..
Mm-hmm...
a lot of times.
But For a lot of years, Davidand I we looked like the perfect
little family.
Yep.
and so it's not really myfavorite thing to talk about,
but for many years, even thoughwe were both Christians, we
(08:20):
didn't have a happy marriage.
Mm.
And we struggled a lot.
We both came into marriage witha lot of baggage that we had
never unpacked.
Yeah.
To be really honest, we bothcame into marriage with a lot of
pride, and selfishness And soinstead of being mature and
humble enough to ask God to showus where we needed to change, we
would point the finger of blameat each other, and point out all
(08:42):
the things that we thought theother person..
Yeah...
needed to change.
And so there wasn't a lot ofjoy.
Thankfully we had many otherthings in our lives that brought
us joy.
We had, family, we had friends,we had children.
There were many things, but wejust didn't have that joy in our
marriage.
And so for a period of time.
In my marriage I had to choosejoy every day, actually for a
(09:05):
number of years.
And thank God he Redeems allthings..
Yeah...
if you stay with it long enough.
That's my plug for marriagetoday.
Stay with it.
That's so good.
if he can, do that for David,and I he can do it for anybody
if you're willing to stay Butjust to say that, whether it's
the big things or the smallthings, we have to choose joy.
Whether it's to wake up and dosomething with a good attitude.
Yeah.
(09:25):
Or whether it's to deal withdifficult relationships.
Mm-hmm.
It's worth it in the end.
Keidra Hobley (09:30):
Yeah.
That's so good.
I think one of the things that'simportant, in marriage or any
other scenario in life is at theroot of joy is contentment.
That's right.
I think it's Habakkuk 3:17-18that says, Though the fig tree
may blossom, nor fruit be on thevines, though the labor of the
olive tree may fail and thefields yield no food, though the
(09:55):
flock may be cut off from thefold, and there be no herd in
the stalls..
Come on.
It doesn't get any worse thanall of this.
Right.
But the end..
Nothing's going right.
Yeah.
But the end of the verse says,yet I will rejoice in the Lord.
Mm-hmm.
I will joy in the God of mysalvation.
Right.
I think that is the ultimate.
(10:15):
It's no more vivid than that.
We have to choose joy.
That's right.
When we choose to be content, nomatter the circumstances, I
think that's when we arechoosing joy.
Susan Dies (10:24):
Yeah.
When we got to that place...
if Susan never changes...
Yeah...
if David never changes...
Lord change me.
Yeah.
Let me be content right where Iam.
I knew in my heart that God wasstill in control..
Yes...
and by the grace of God, somehowsome way we were gonna make it..
Make it through that.
And so, and, and we have.
That's so good.
And I, I think about Romans15:13, it's a verse that is so
(10:46):
full of joy and speaks to thisvery thing.
May the God of hope fill youwith all joy and peace.
Here's the condition.
Okay...
as you trust in him.
Mm-hmm...
so that you may overflow...
with hope..
There it is.
By the power of the Holy Spirit.
Yeah.
And so in that, as I was waitingfor the joy and the peace, what
(11:06):
kept me rooted was the hope..
Yes...
That's so good.
And that came from the Spirit.
Keidra Hobley (11:11):
That's so good.
By the power of the Holy Spirit.
Susan Dies (11:13):
That's right.
And that's what we're talkingabout in this season.
Yes.
Whether it's love, joy, peace,patience, kindness, all the
things we're gonna talk about..
Yeah...
we cannot do it..
without the Power of the HolySpirit.
Keidra Hobley (11:22):
That's so good.
Susan Dies (11:23):
That's so good.
That's right.
He is our source.
Keidra Hobley (11:26):
I wanna read this one verse also about
contentment.
Philippians 4:11-12.
"I have learned how to becontent with whatever I have.
I know how to live on almostnothing or with everything.
I have learned the secret ofliving in every situation,
whether it's with a full stomachor empty, with plenty or with
(11:47):
little."
Susan Dies (11:48):
I think you're giving your testimony.
Keidra Hobley (11:49):
I think I am.
I mean, I'm just saying.
I think I am and the fact I'm aliving witness that you can
still have joy..
That's right...
no matter what, when you chooseto be content.
Susan Dies (12:01):
That's right.
I think it's also important topoint out that the absence of
feelings of happiness does notmean the absence of joy.
That's right.
That joy and uncertainty, andjoy and difficulty, and joy and
sorrow can coexist.
Yes.
And we see that when we look atthe cross.
Hebrews 12:2 says it this way,"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus,
(12:22):
the author and perfecter of ourfaith, who for the joy set
before him endured the crossscorning its shame and sat down
at the right hand of the throneof God." So Jesus wasn't feeling
happy when he went to the cross.
Yeah.
Wasn't feeling happy when hehung on the cross, but he did
know that God the Father was incontrol and that there was a
greater purpose in his pain.
(12:43):
And even though thecircumstances from a human
standpoint looked hopeless,Jesus knew that he was enduring
the cross to bring joy to theworld, uh, and really joy to the
heart of anyone willing to puttheir trust in him.
So I think this is the mostclear example of how even in the
worst of the worst of the worstsituations, when our hearts are
breaking in a million pieces,the ability for us to experience
(13:06):
joy even in the pain is not justpossible...
it is God's promise to us..
Yeah...
in Jesus.
And I think that's really whatour listeners need to know...
but what does it look like ineveryday life for us to choose
joy?
What are some practical things?
Keidra Hobley (13:20):
For me, I just like to have fun.
Okay?
And so I find my joy in choosingto have fun no matter what the
situation is.
Uhhuh.
And so I think for me it isfinding the good in everything.
Like even in what the world maysee is bad.
Mm-hmm.
I'm gonna be intentional aboutfinding the good in it.
(13:41):
I'm gonna find the God in it.
Susan Dies (13:42):
Yeah.
Let me ask you this questionthen,'cause this is one of the
verses that I've been thinkingabout.
James 1:2,"Consider it purejoy..
Mm-hmm...
my brothers and sisters when youencounter trials of many kinds
because you know that thetesting of your faith produces
perseverance.
Yeah.
So it's not the trials thatbring us joy, but the fact that
through our trials we're gonnabecome stronger.
(14:03):
Yeah.
That our faith in God is gonnagrow and that he's gonna sustain
us in our circumstances.
Mm-hmm.
What do you think about that?
Because I love it.
I love it.
That's what you're talkingabout.
That's exactly what I'm talkingabout.
Yeah.
Because I'll look at acircumstance like that and I
will just laugh.
I, I mean, literally, like,'Devil, you thought you had me'.
And I literally, these are wordsI say often.
'Ooh, you tried it.
Mm, devil you tried it.' And I'msaying it with the biggest smile
(14:26):
because I know, I know the endof the story.
If we live just in thecircumstance, we'll get stuck.
Mm-hmm.
But if You see the circumstancewith the end of the story in
mind..
Mm-hmm...
you can rejoice.
That's where the joy comes from.
That's right.
And when we remember that ourlife is just this tiny little
dash in between two dates on thetimeline of eternity.
(14:47):
Yeah.
The Bible says that we're avapor, like we're here today and
we're gone tomorrow and nobodywants to think about that.
Yeah.
But when you can see your lifein light of eternity..
Yes...
it's so much easier to deal withthe trials when we can look at
it from that perspective.
Mm-hmm.
So good.
I was actually having thisconversation with Brooke the
other day.
A lot of times we're gonna do apodcast I will just ask her the
(15:08):
question.
What does it look like to choosejoy?
You know, that youngergeneration is really very
practical.
Mm-hmm.
And so we made a list together.
Okay, good.
So we're gonna talk about someof these.
The first thing she mentionedthat had not even crossed my
mind was'If you wanna choosejoy, you gotta rest..
Ooh...
because sometimes it's thebusyness of life..
that steals our joy.' So if wewould just do what God told us
(15:30):
to do and rest, we would be insuch a better disposition to be
able to choose joy.
Mm.
Wow.
What do you think about that?
Keidra Hobley (15:37):
I'm just like, can we just Selah right there
for just a minute?
Because..
Thank you, Brooke.
I feel so convicted.
Uhhuh because that, but that'sreal.
That's real.
That's right.
Because a lot of times we arestressed even before a
circumstance comes up.
Susan Dies (15:51):
That's right.
Yeah.
So what about praise?
Mm-hmm.
I remember years ago talkingwith my friend Kathy Cubley.
She's one of the people that Godplaced in my life decades ago
that I can literally tellanything to.
And no matter what it is, she isgonna find a way to make me
laugh, but also to encourage mein the Lord.
And I remember her asking me onetime,'Have you lost your joy?...
(16:12):
Because when you've lost yourjoy, what you need to do is
praise the Lord.
You're not gonna feel like it.
Yeah.
But that's the time you need topraise, because if Satan can get
us to that place that we nolonger feel like praising God..
Mm-hmm...
he has effectively stolen ourjoy..
Yeah.
And John 10:10 says that Satancomes to steal, kill, and
destroy, and that's the firstthing he goes after..
(16:33):
Yeah...
is our joy.
Because if he can steal our joy,it's gonna affect every
relationship around us.
Wow.
Thoughts on that?
Keidra Hobley (16:41):
I'm just curious what made her ask you that
question?
What was it that prompted that?
Susan Dies (16:45):
She was one of my go-to people..
Okay...
in that difficult time in mymarriage.
You have to be careful whenyou're struggling with anything.
Go to your godly friends.
That's so good.
Go to the ones that make youlaugh.
Mm-hmm.
That help you see the lighterside of something.
Yeah.
Go to people who will encourageyou and point you back to Jesus.
That's so good.
Because she would always say,"Well, you're not getting a
divorce.
Yes.
So if you're gonna stay married,you wanna be happily married.
(17:06):
Yes.
So what can you contribute thatcan turn this thing around?"
That's so good.
And so she always had a way ofdoing that.
I always left with joy becauseshe always reminded me..
Yeah...
that Jesus was my joy.
I can't lose that.
So good.
What about being grateful?
Yes.
When we choose to be gratefuland find good in even the
smallest things, even on thehardest days..
(17:26):
Yeah...
that gratitude, puts the focuson God..
Mm-hmm...
and on his goodness.
Mm.
That leads me to the next one...
godly friends.
We need that godly community,people who will pray with us,
pray for us and remind us tochoose joy.
That's so good.
And of course, you mentionedearlier serving.
Yes.
If we're gonna choose joy,sometimes the best way is get
(17:46):
outside the four walls of yourhouse..
Uhhuh, and go find someone youcan serve.
When we get in our heads..
Mm-hmm...
and we stay in our home, theworld becomes really small.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
It becomes all about us.
But I found if I'll just get outand go serve someone..
Encourage another person.
Yeah.
Meet a need of another person.
Mm-hmm.
And just to realize everybody'sgot something going on.
(18:07):
Yeah.
And maybe we're the one thatneeds to show them what it looks
like to choose joy.
That's so good.
That's so good.
Brooke mentioned one last thing.
Okay.
And I thought this was good.
Stop complaining.
Well, amen.
Yeah.
Let me say that again'cause Ithink my voice cut out.
Satan doesn't want me to to saythat clearly.
Stop complaining..
Yes...
because we cannot effectivelychoose joy if everything coming
(18:31):
out of our mouth is a complaintabout what's not right in our
lives.
There's so much power in ourwords.
Proverbs 18:21 says,"The powerof life and death..
Mm-hmm...
is in the tongue.
So the words we speak are eitherlife or death.
They're encouragement ordiscouragement.
Mm-hmm.
They either build us up orthey're tearing us down.
And so, our words sometimes canbe the very difference between
(18:52):
the lack of joy in our heart..
Mm-hmm...
and a heart filled with joy.
That's so good.
And you know, so I'm not sayingwe can't share or verbalize
struggles with someone who'ssafe to do so with.
But if every time I see you, I'mstill telling you the same
story.
The same story.
Yeah.
And I still haven't even putinto practice whatever godly
wisdom that you gave me to startwith.
Yeah.
We need to stop.
(19:12):
That's good.
You know, we need to stop.
Mm-hmm.
Because that Satan loves it.
Yes.
He loves it when he can get usto do that..
That's so good...
negative talk.
And then the last one I thoughtof, solitude.
Mm-hmm.
You know?
Mm-hmm.
Sometimes we just need to getalone with the Lord.
We need to turn our phones off.
Yes.
We need to disconnect fromeverything that we perceive as
(19:33):
bringing stress into our livesand we just need to get quiet.
We need to get still..
Yeah...
before the Lord, and let himfill us back up.
That's so good.
Sometimes we're just so busypouring out, pouring out,
pouring out, and that can shiftour perspective as well.
And so I think we need thattime.
Keidra Hobley (19:51):
I love that.
I love that so much.
I think the prodigal son couldhave used this list.
Mm.
Because I, I think..
That's good...
he lacked joy.
He ended up where he ended upbecause of the fact..
Mm-hmm...
that he was not content.
Susan Dies (20:03):
Looking for it somewhere else.
Keidra Hobley (20:04):
Looking for it somewhere else.
And as you were saying this, I'mjotting them down.
I'm like, man, if he would'vejust been grateful Hmm.
If he would've chosen to servesomeone else..
Hmm...
with all the riches he alreadyhad.
If he would've just stoppedcomplaining?
Like if you go down the list ofwhat you just said, he would've
had a totally differentexperience because he would've
(20:24):
maintained his joy where he was,with what he had, because he
would've been content.
I love this list.
Susan Dies (20:31):
That's so good.
Yeah.
That's so good.
You know, I think as believersthough, we can sometimes think
that because we're supposed tobe filled with joy..
Mm-hmm...
because we have all thesepromises from God...
that we can't be honest on daysthat we're struggling..
Mm...
because we don't want people tothink that we don't have it all
together.
Yeah.
Or we don't have faith, or thatwe're not trusting God.
What do you see as the danger inthat kind of thinking?
Keidra Hobley (20:53):
I think you get stuck in denial.
Hmm.
We are to cast all our cares onthe Lord, but you can't cast a
care that you won't acknowledge.
Right.
And so I think it's importantfor us to be honest with
ourself, honest with God, andthen at the end of the day,
still choose joy.
Yeah.
When we choose joy, it doesn'tmean that we lie about our
situation, our feelings, or ourcircumstance.
Mm-hmm.
(21:13):
We're honest about those things.
And in the midst of thosethings, we're still choosing
joy.
Susan Dies (21:18):
The thing that just came to my mind is isolation.
Yeah.
Sometimes when things startgoing wrong in our life we don't
want other people to know..
But Satan loves to get usisolated.
Yes.
Because that's when he canreally get into our heads.
Yeah.
That's why we need christiancommunity.
Absolutely.
It's why we need Christianfriendships and why it's so
important that we are connectedin a church, in a body of
(21:39):
believers.
No, you don't have to go tochurch to be saved.
Mm-hmm.
But...
we need each other.
That's right.
God did not create us to be inisolation.
He created us to be inrelationship and that goes
double for times when life ishard.
Mm-hmm.
Keidra Hobley (21:52):
You mentioned the enemy likes to get us in
isolation.
Mm-hmm.
And at the same time, on yourlist of how we can choose joy is
solitude.
So what's the difference betweenisolation and solitude?
Susan Dies (22:05):
Yeah, that's a good question.
They are different.
Solitude is you and God.
Okay.
That's good.
So it's not you and anybodyelse..
Ah...
but it's you and God.
Okay.
Isolation is you and you...
and your own pity party.
Ah, got it.
A party of one.
That's so good.
And so it's really about whereare our thoughts?
Mm-hmm.
You know?
Do our thoughts turn to God,"Lord, fill me up"..
(22:26):
Mm-hmm...
or do we stay home and dwell onwhatever it is that we have
going on and feel sorry forourselves..
Yeah, that's good...
and think, I really can't behonest about this with anyone
else, and I'm all by myself.
Yeah.
You're not by yourself.
Yeah.
So isolation and solitude arenot the same.
Very good.
That's a good question though.
So, how can we encourage someoneto choose joy without minimizing
(22:48):
suffering?
Mm-hmm.
You can't just say, choose joy.
Right.
Keidra Hobley (22:51):
Yeah.
I think we acknowledge the hurt.
Mm-hmm.
I think we acknowledge the pain.
Like even you bringing this up,my heart is going out to those
who have lost loved ones.
This may be their firstChristmas without them.
Mm-hmm.
And we cannot just approach aperson and say, choose joy.
No.
I hurt for you.
Mm-hmm.
My heart aches with you.
(23:13):
Right.
We acknowledge that.
We do what we can to help bringan ease in those situations.
Let people know that they'reseen and known and loved.
Mm-hmm.
I think it's important that wenot just try to sweep that under
the rug.
It's real.
Right.
And at the same time, I wouldbring a big dose of laughter,
you know?
Amen.
And so I think it's important tonot minimize the hurt, the pain,
(23:37):
the sorrow.
At the same time, give someone ahelping hand to not stay stuck
there.
Susan Dies (23:43):
Right.
You know, honestly, as I'vethought about that, I mean, this
is a pretty deep question.
There's so much anxiety and fearand depression and grief and
mental illness in our world, andif we've not walked through it,
it's hard to fathom what thatperson is going through.
Mm-hmm.
But what would you say tosomeone who says,'I just feel
numb.
Mm.
(24:03):
It's not just that I lack joy.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, I really feel nothing.
Mm-hmm.
I love Jesus and I know thathe's promised to give us joy.
I just don't understand.
Mm.
What would you say to encouragethat person?
Keidra Hobley (24:16):
I probably would pinch'em.
I know.
Bless your heart Susan.
She's looking at me.
Depending on who it is.
Oh, oh, because they're numb.
They're feeling numb.
That's the way my brain works.
Uhhuh.
Depending on who it was, Iwouldn't do that to everybody,
but someone who I was close to.
You would probably pinch me.
I would probably pinch'em.
Like, did you feel that yet?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So, so you're not numb.
(24:36):
So don't allow the enemy toallow you to believe that you're
numb.
I, I understand what you'resaying..
Right...
but you're not numb.
You just have to remember whatit's like to feel.
Okay.
And I would go to the word...
Nehemiah 8:10,"The joy of theLord is your strength." You're
feeling weak because you don'thave joy.
Susan Dies (24:56):
Mm-hmm.
To me, when someone says,'I feelnumb,' basically they're
shutting off their emotions.
Mm-hmm.
And so if you are to the place,you've had to shut down your
emotions you, shut out the goodand the bad.
Yes.
You shut out the things that arehurting you, but you've also
shut out the things that couldhelp you.
Mm-hmm.
If that makes sense.
(25:16):
It does.
And so I think it's importantthat if someone has gotten to
that point, there's no shame..
Mm-hmm...
if you need to consider seekingsome compassionate, professional
Christian counseling, because itcould be that there's something
they have not yet dealt with,and until they do, they may not
feel worthy..
Mm-hmm...
of God's love or his goodness.
(25:37):
They may not feel comfortable inGod's presence.
And, Psalm 16:11 says it's inthe presence of God..
Yes...
that we have fullness of joy.
Yes.
Sometimes when we're goingthrough a lot of things I ask
people, have you been prayingabout that?
Yeah.
Have you continued to just sitstill before the Lord?
Have you opened up the word?
And they're so bothered or upsetby whatever it is that they're
(26:00):
struggling with, that they'veshut that out too.
Yeah.
And that's the danger, becausethere's fullness of joy...
in the presence of God.
That's it.
And so sometimes, it could be assimple as getting back to the
basics.
Mm-hmm.
We get so busy.
It's part of the reason why Iget it really early.
I'm an early morning person.
I know not everybody is.
Yeah.
You gotta find your time.
But for me personally, it is thesweetest time of the day...
(26:22):
to just get up and spendliterally a couple of hours, in
his presence.
It fills me.
That's so good.
So good.
Any other thoughts?
Keidra Hobley (26:31):
No.
In the presence of God is thefullness of joy.
So if you wanna be full of joy,you've gotta get in the presence
of God.
Yeah.
And one of the easiest ways todo that is to get in the word.
Susan Dies (26:39):
Tara Leigh Cobble, who does the Bible Recap...
at the end of her recap, everyday she says He's where the joy
is.' Ah.
And I love that.
That's her..
That's so good...
tagline.
Alright, well, we're out of timetoday, but we hope that you've
enjoyed today's podcast and thatyou'll join us again in a couple
of weeks for our next episode.
In the meantime, we'd love foryou to take a minute to scroll
(27:01):
down and leave us a text ormaybe head over to our website,
one yes@atime.net and leave us acomment or a review because we
would love to hear from you.
In the meantime, keep choosingjoy...
and let the God of hope fill youwith joy by the power of the
Holy Spirit.
Susan Dies (27:17):
Father, we thank you so much that in your
presence there is fullness ofjoy, dear Lord.
So we just pray, dear God, thatyou would help us to
continuously run back into yourpresence, dear Lord.
We thank you for all of thepromises that are connected to
what it is that you have told usin your word, that we can have
joy by your spirit.
Amen.
And we thank you for that.
(27:38):
In Jesus name we pray.
Amen.
Welcome to another episode of The One Yes At A Time
podcast.
I'm Keidra...
here with my friend Susan.
Yes.
I'm so excited because we..
Uh huh...
get to talk about joy today.
And you embody joy.
Well, I hope it exudes throughthe microphone..
because joy is one of thosethings that I think we all, as
believers, should absolutelycarry and present to the world.
(00:58):
Yes.
So I think a lot of times whenpeople think about joy, they
think about it, from theperspective of happiness.
They think joy and happiness areone in the same.
They're not synonyms.
That's right.
They're, they're completelydifferent.
How do you see the difference inthe two?
They are.
Susan Dies (01:13):
Before we jump into that, I want to just say
something just because when thiscomes out, it's coming out
during this Christmas season.
Yeah.
And we were talking about how wejust got through Thanksgiving...
in a few weeks we're gonna becelebrating Christmas.
Everything's festive and bright.
It's supposed to be the happiesttime of the year..
It's supposed to be...
right?
Yeah.
And yet we know that's not truefor everyone.
(01:33):
And so instead of being filledwith joy, some people are
instead filled with a sense ofemptiness or maybe even a sense
of sadness.
It Can be a real struggle.
And so the timing of thispodcast,'Say Yes to Choosing
Joy' is perfect, and I reallyhope it's gonna be helpful and
insightful.
I think the biggest differenceis happiness is what happens to
(01:55):
you..
Mm-hmm...
and so it's external.
Yes.
And joy is something thathappens on the inside of you..
That's so good...
and so it's internal.
Keidra Hobley (02:03):
Yeah.
And it's funny you say it thatway because the root word for
happy..
Mm-hmm...
is the same root word forhappenstance.
Okay.
So our happiness is based onhappenstance.
Your circumstances.
That's right.
It's circumstantial.
So when you say what happensoutside, that's what generates
happiness..
Right...
versus what happens on theinside.
So our happiness is based oncircumstance..
(02:27):
Right...
but our joy is based on Christ.
Yes.
Like that's the difference.
Right.
And so happiness is temporary,because our circumstances can
change in a moment.
Right.
But God is the same today,tomorrow..
Amen...
and forever.
So joy is eternal.
Yes, it is.
We can never lose it.
That that is, that is it?
That is it.
Susan Dies (02:46):
I was thinking though that joy and happiness,
they do overlap.
I mean, there is definitely ajoy component in happiness.
Yeah.
When we're happy we do feel joyin our heart, but as you said,
happiness is rooted in thingsthat are constantly changing.
Keidra Hobley (03:01):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
When you said that, I thinkabout things like, I just got a
new job.
I'm really happy.
Yeah.
And now this..
And then you lose that job and..
Right...
and now I'm not happy anymore.
I just got married.
I'm so happy.
We just had a fight.
I'm not happy anymore.
And so I think because of thefact that we base so much of our
identity on things that make ushappy..
(03:23):
Mm-hmm...
when those things that make ushappy no longer make us happy..
Mm-hmm...
we lose who we are.
You know?
Can you see that?
Because I had a fight doesn'tmean that I no longer need to be
in relationship with thatperson.
Right.
But when you have joy you seepast the circumstance.
Right.
And so I think that is importantfor us to realize that the
difference between being happyand having joy is that joy will
(03:47):
work through the hard times.
Mm.
Happiness wants to quit.
That's so good.
Susan Dies (03:50):
Yeah.
Joy, because it's not rooted infeelings necessarily..
Mm-hmm...
it is a feeling, but it's notrooted in the feelings..
Yeah...
and it's not rooted in thecircumstance...
so you can not feel happy..
Yes...
and still have joy.
Keidra Hobley (04:04):
That's the key.
Mm-hmm.
That is critical.
That's critical.
Yeah.
And so we're we're not talkingabout being fake, or pretending,
or just plastering a smile onyour face to look like you have
joy.
Right?
Right.
We're talking about somethingthat's genuine.
So I'm glad you mentioned thatyou can be joyful and maybe not
be happy..
Right...
because sad things happen...
(04:25):
and we're gonna getdisappointed...
and we may bawl our eyes out butwe do it knowing that when we
sow in tears, we reap in joy.
So there's still joy even in themidst of the tears.
Right.
But no, the Bible says'those whosow in tears will reap in joy'.
So your tears, you can let'emflow freer, because you realize
they're seed.
(04:47):
Tears are seed for joy.
Susan Dies (04:49):
I love that.
Yeah.
I've never really thought aboutthat.
Keidra Hobley (04:51):
But that's what the word says, right?
It's what the word says.
Those who sow in tears reap injoy.
What do we sow?
We sow seed, right?
So that means they're seed.
Mm-hmm.
And if I'm sowing my tears asseed, I'm gonna reap a harvest
of joy.
So let'em flow.
So we can be sad..
Mm-hmm...
and still have joy.
As a matter of fact, I can besad, sow my tears, and have even
(05:13):
more joy.
So, the devil can't win if wereally understand the word and
where joy comes from.
Right.
Yeah.
Susan Dies (05:21):
When you hear the phrase'choose joy'...
what does that mean to youpersonally?
Keidra Hobley (05:25):
That means that I have a say in whether or not I
show up joyful or not.
Hmm.
I get to choose.
You get to choose.
Mm-hmm.
I get to choose whether or notI'm gonna stay stuck in a state
of sadness.
Right.
I'm gonna feel what I feel andthen I'm going to choose to come
out of that.
Susan Dies (05:43):
I like that.
Yeah.
I think the first thing thatcomes to my mind is that joy
isn't something we can willourselves to feel.
Yeah.
We can't just say,'Today I'mgonna choose joy'...
and all of a sudden I feeljoyful.
Mm-hmm.
But choosing joy puts us on thatpath..
Yes....
to experiencing God in a waythat we experience that joy
again because joy is a fruit ofthe spirit.
(06:05):
Yes, it is.
It's not worldly joy, it's thejoy that God gives us..
Yes...
that we cannot get any otherway.
And so to choose joy is tochoose to focus my heart and my
mind on Jesus..
Yes...
instead of whatever it is that'scausing me to feel that lack of
joy, because we can't bethinking about both things at
the same time.
And then, like you just said, tochoose not to let our
(06:27):
circumstances or our feelingsdictate..
Mm-hmm...
how our day is gonna be.
Right.
Because, you know, I think a lotof times we can get up on the
wrong side of the bed..
Mm-hmm...
and we can choose to stay inthat mood..
Yeah...
for the rest of the day.
Or we can choose to do somethings to get us out of that.
Right?
Yes.
We have a choice.
We do have a choice, as yousaid.
Keidra Hobley (06:44):
And we can choose to get back in bed and get up on
the other side.
Right, right.
Like I would literally dosomething like that just for a
visual image for myself.
Susan Dies (06:53):
I can see you doing that.
I can see you doing that.
Can you think of a time in yourlife though, when even as a
believer, joy did not comenaturally to you and you had to
intentionally choose it?
Keidra Hobley (07:04):
Yeah, sometimes we are, asked to do things that
we just don't wanna do.
That's me.
But when you're a servant.
When you are a servant leader,when you're here to be like
Christ, when you're here to givefor others, it doesn't matter if
you want to or not.
That's right.
And so in those kinds ofcircumstances, for me, I choose
joy.
(07:24):
I choose to not just do it, notjust serve in that capacity, but
I choose to serve with joy..
Right...
in those times, even though it'snot something that I would've
preferred to do.
Yeah, it's not something Ienjoy, but I could do it...
in joy.
Susan Dies (07:39):
Does it make sense?
Oh, I like that.
Yeah.
That's a good play on words.
Yeah, I like words.
Thanks.
You were talking about the'wantto'..
Yes...
I think the want to comes oncewe choose to have that servant
heart That's so good.
Like I wanna do it in joy...
then the Holy Spirit gives usthat joy.
That's so good.
And so I think that's good...
to know that when we make anychoice to be obedient to God..
(07:59):
Mm-hmm..
He blesses us with whatever itis that we need to do that
thing.
That's so good.
that's so good.
I was thinking about, so I'mgonna get real here.
Sometimes when you're teaching,it seems like you got it all
together..
Mm-hmm...
a lot of times.
But For a lot of years, Davidand I we looked like the perfect
little family.
Yep.
and so it's not really myfavorite thing to talk about,
but for many years, even thoughwe were both Christians, we
(08:20):
didn't have a happy marriage.
Mm.
And we struggled a lot.
We both came into marriage witha lot of baggage that we had
never unpacked.
Yeah.
To be really honest, we bothcame into marriage with a lot of
pride, and selfishness And soinstead of being mature and
humble enough to ask God to showus where we needed to change, we
would point the finger of blameat each other, and point out all
(08:42):
the things that we thought theother person..
Yeah...
needed to change.
And so there wasn't a lot ofjoy.
Thankfully we had many otherthings in our lives that brought
us joy.
We had, family, we had friends,we had children.
There were many things, but wejust didn't have that joy in our
marriage.
And so for a period of time.
In my marriage I had to choosejoy every day, actually for a
(09:05):
number of years.
And thank God he Redeems allthings..
Yeah...
if you stay with it long enough.
That's my plug for marriagetoday.
Stay with it.
That's so good.
if he can, do that for David,and I he can do it for anybody
if you're willing to stay Butjust to say that, whether it's
the big things or the smallthings, we have to choose joy.
Whether it's to wake up and dosomething with a good attitude.
Yeah.
(09:25):
Or whether it's to deal withdifficult relationships.
Mm-hmm.
It's worth it in the end.
Keidra Hobley (09:30):
Yeah.
That's so good.
I think one of the things that'simportant, in marriage or any
other scenario in life is at theroot of joy is contentment.
That's right.
I think it's Habakkuk 3:17-18that says, Though the fig tree
may blossom, nor fruit be on thevines, though the labor of the
olive tree may fail and thefields yield no food, though the
(09:55):
flock may be cut off from thefold, and there be no herd in
the stalls..
Come on.
It doesn't get any worse thanall of this.
Right.
But the end..
Nothing's going right.
Yeah.
But the end of the verse says,yet I will rejoice in the Lord.
Mm-hmm.
I will joy in the God of mysalvation.
Right.
I think that is the ultimate.
(10:15):
It's no more vivid than that.
We have to choose joy.
That's right.
When we choose to be content, nomatter the circumstances, I
think that's when we arechoosing joy.
Susan Dies (10:24):
Yeah.
When we got to that place...
if Susan never changes...
Yeah...
if David never changes...
Lord change me.
Yeah.
Let me be content right where Iam.
I knew in my heart that God wasstill in control..
Yes...
and by the grace of God, somehowsome way we were gonna make it..
Make it through that.
And so, and, and we have.
That's so good.
And I, I think about Romans15:13, it's a verse that is so
(10:46):
full of joy and speaks to thisvery thing.
May the God of hope fill youwith all joy and peace.
Here's the condition.
Okay...
as you trust in him.
Mm-hmm...
so that you may overflow...
with hope..
There it is.
By the power of the Holy Spirit.
Yeah.
And so in that, as I was waitingfor the joy and the peace, what
(11:06):
kept me rooted was the hope..
Yes...
That's so good.
And that came from the Spirit.
Keidra Hobley (11:11):
That's so good.
By the power of the Holy Spirit.
Susan Dies (11:13):
That's right.
And that's what we're talkingabout in this season.
Yes.
Whether it's love, joy, peace,patience, kindness, all the
things we're gonna talk about..
Yeah...
we cannot do it..
without the Power of the HolySpirit.
Keidra Hobley (11:22):
That's so good.
Susan Dies (11:23):
That's so good.
That's right.
He is our source.
Keidra Hobley (11:26):
I wanna read this one verse also about
contentment.
Philippians 4:11-12.
"I have learned how to becontent with whatever I have.
I know how to live on almostnothing or with everything.
I have learned the secret ofliving in every situation,
whether it's with a full stomachor empty, with plenty or with
(11:47):
little."
Susan Dies (11:48):
I think you're giving your testimony.
Keidra Hobley (11:49):
I think I am.
I mean, I'm just saying.
I think I am and the fact I'm aliving witness that you can
still have joy..
That's right...
no matter what, when you chooseto be content.
Susan Dies (12:01):
That's right.
I think it's also important topoint out that the absence of
feelings of happiness does notmean the absence of joy.
That's right.
That joy and uncertainty, andjoy and difficulty, and joy and
sorrow can coexist.
Yes.
And we see that when we look atthe cross.
Hebrews 12:2 says it this way,"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus,
(12:22):
the author and perfecter of ourfaith, who for the joy set
before him endured the crossscorning its shame and sat down
at the right hand of the throneof God." So Jesus wasn't feeling
happy when he went to the cross.
Yeah.
Wasn't feeling happy when hehung on the cross, but he did
know that God the Father was incontrol and that there was a
greater purpose in his pain.
(12:43):
And even though thecircumstances from a human
standpoint looked hopeless,Jesus knew that he was enduring
the cross to bring joy to theworld, uh, and really joy to the
heart of anyone willing to puttheir trust in him.
So I think this is the mostclear example of how even in the
worst of the worst of the worstsituations, when our hearts are
breaking in a million pieces,the ability for us to experience
(13:06):
joy even in the pain is not justpossible...
it is God's promise to us..
Yeah...
in Jesus.
And I think that's really whatour listeners need to know...
but what does it look like ineveryday life for us to choose
joy?
What are some practical things?
Keidra Hobley (13:20):
For me, I just like to have fun.
Okay?
And so I find my joy in choosingto have fun no matter what the
situation is.
Uhhuh.
And so I think for me it isfinding the good in everything.
Like even in what the world maysee is bad.
Mm-hmm.
I'm gonna be intentional aboutfinding the good in it.
(13:41):
I'm gonna find the God in it.
Susan Dies (13:42):
Yeah.
Let me ask you this questionthen,'cause this is one of the
verses that I've been thinkingabout.
James 1:2,"Consider it purejoy..
Mm-hmm...
my brothers and sisters when youencounter trials of many kinds
because you know that thetesting of your faith produces
perseverance.
Yeah.
So it's not the trials thatbring us joy, but the fact that
through our trials we're gonnabecome stronger.
(14:03):
Yeah.
That our faith in God is gonnagrow and that he's gonna sustain
us in our circumstances.
Mm-hmm.
What do you think about that?
Because I love it.
I love it.
That's what you're talkingabout.
That's exactly what I'm talkingabout.
Yeah.
Because I'll look at acircumstance like that and I
will just laugh.
I, I mean, literally, like,'Devil, you thought you had me'.
And I literally, these are wordsI say often.
'Ooh, you tried it.
Mm, devil you tried it.' And I'msaying it with the biggest smile
(14:26):
because I know, I know the endof the story.
If we live just in thecircumstance, we'll get stuck.
Mm-hmm.
But if You see the circumstancewith the end of the story in
mind..
Mm-hmm...
you can rejoice.
That's where the joy comes from.
That's right.
And when we remember that ourlife is just this tiny little
dash in between two dates on thetimeline of eternity.
(14:47):
Yeah.
The Bible says that we're avapor, like we're here today and
we're gone tomorrow and nobodywants to think about that.
Yeah.
But when you can see your lifein light of eternity..
Yes...
it's so much easier to deal withthe trials when we can look at
it from that perspective.
Mm-hmm.
So good.
I was actually having thisconversation with Brooke the
other day.
A lot of times we're gonna do apodcast I will just ask her the
(15:08):
question.
What does it look like to choosejoy?
You know, that youngergeneration is really very
practical.
Mm-hmm.
And so we made a list together.
Okay, good.
So we're gonna talk about someof these.
The first thing she mentionedthat had not even crossed my
mind was'If you wanna choosejoy, you gotta rest..
Ooh...
because sometimes it's thebusyness of life..
that steals our joy.' So if wewould just do what God told us
(15:30):
to do and rest, we would be insuch a better disposition to be
able to choose joy.
Mm.
Wow.
What do you think about that?
Keidra Hobley (15:37):
I'm just like, can we just Selah right there
for just a minute?
Because..
Thank you, Brooke.
I feel so convicted.
Uhhuh because that, but that'sreal.
That's real.
That's right.
Because a lot of times we arestressed even before a
circumstance comes up.
Susan Dies (15:51):
That's right.
Yeah.
So what about praise?
Mm-hmm.
I remember years ago talkingwith my friend Kathy Cubley.
She's one of the people that Godplaced in my life decades ago
that I can literally tellanything to.
And no matter what it is, she isgonna find a way to make me
laugh, but also to encourage mein the Lord.
And I remember her asking me onetime,'Have you lost your joy?...
(16:12):
Because when you've lost yourjoy, what you need to do is
praise the Lord.
You're not gonna feel like it.
Yeah.
But that's the time you need topraise, because if Satan can get
us to that place that we nolonger feel like praising God..
Mm-hmm...
he has effectively stolen ourjoy..
Yeah.
And John 10:10 says that Satancomes to steal, kill, and
destroy, and that's the firstthing he goes after..
(16:33):
Yeah...
is our joy.
Because if he can steal our joy,it's gonna affect every
relationship around us.
Wow.
Thoughts on that?
Keidra Hobley (16:41):
I'm just curious what made her ask you that
question?
What was it that prompted that?
Susan Dies (16:45):
She was one of my go-to people..
Okay...
in that difficult time in mymarriage.
You have to be careful whenyou're struggling with anything.
Go to your godly friends.
That's so good.
Go to the ones that make youlaugh.
Mm-hmm.
That help you see the lighterside of something.
Yeah.
Go to people who will encourageyou and point you back to Jesus.
That's so good.
Because she would always say,"Well, you're not getting a
divorce.
Yes.
So if you're gonna stay married,you wanna be happily married.
(17:06):
Yes.
So what can you contribute thatcan turn this thing around?"
That's so good.
And so she always had a way ofdoing that.
I always left with joy becauseshe always reminded me..
Yeah...
that Jesus was my joy.
I can't lose that.
So good.
What about being grateful?
Yes.
When we choose to be gratefuland find good in even the
smallest things, even on thehardest days..
(17:26):
Yeah...
that gratitude, puts the focuson God..
Mm-hmm...
and on his goodness.
Mm.
That leads me to the next one...
godly friends.
We need that godly community,people who will pray with us,
pray for us and remind us tochoose joy.
That's so good.
And of course, you mentionedearlier serving.
Yes.
If we're gonna choose joy,sometimes the best way is get
(17:46):
outside the four walls of yourhouse..
Uhhuh, and go find someone youcan serve.
When we get in our heads..
Mm-hmm...
and we stay in our home, theworld becomes really small.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
It becomes all about us.
But I found if I'll just get outand go serve someone..
Encourage another person.
Yeah.
Meet a need of another person.
Mm-hmm.
And just to realize everybody'sgot something going on.
(18:07):
Yeah.
And maybe we're the one thatneeds to show them what it looks
like to choose joy.
That's so good.
That's so good.
Brooke mentioned one last thing.
Okay.
And I thought this was good.
Stop complaining.
Well, amen.
Yeah.
Let me say that again'cause Ithink my voice cut out.
Satan doesn't want me to to saythat clearly.
Stop complaining..
Yes...
because we cannot effectivelychoose joy if everything coming
(18:31):
out of our mouth is a complaintabout what's not right in our
lives.
There's so much power in ourwords.
Proverbs 18:21 says,"The powerof life and death..
Mm-hmm...
is in the tongue.
So the words we speak are eitherlife or death.
They're encouragement ordiscouragement.
Mm-hmm.
They either build us up orthey're tearing us down.
And so, our words sometimes canbe the very difference between
(18:52):
the lack of joy in our heart..
Mm-hmm...
and a heart filled with joy.
That's so good.
And you know, so I'm not sayingwe can't share or verbalize
struggles with someone who'ssafe to do so with.
But if every time I see you, I'mstill telling you the same
story.
The same story.
Yeah.
And I still haven't even putinto practice whatever godly
wisdom that you gave me to startwith.
Yeah.
We need to stop.
(19:12):
That's good.
You know, we need to stop.
Mm-hmm.
Because that Satan loves it.
Yes.
He loves it when he can get usto do that..
That's so good...
negative talk.
And then the last one I thoughtof, solitude.
Mm-hmm.
You know?
Mm-hmm.
Sometimes we just need to getalone with the Lord.
We need to turn our phones off.
Yes.
We need to disconnect fromeverything that we perceive as
(19:33):
bringing stress into our livesand we just need to get quiet.
We need to get still..
Yeah...
before the Lord, and let himfill us back up.
That's so good.
Sometimes we're just so busypouring out, pouring out,
pouring out, and that can shiftour perspective as well.
And so I think we need thattime.
Keidra Hobley (19:51):
I love that.
I love that so much.
I think the prodigal son couldhave used this list.
Mm.
Because I, I think..
That's good...
he lacked joy.
He ended up where he ended upbecause of the fact..
Mm-hmm...
that he was not content.
Susan Dies (20:03):
Looking for it somewhere else.
Keidra Hobley (20:04):
Looking for it somewhere else.
And as you were saying this, I'mjotting them down.
I'm like, man, if he would'vejust been grateful Hmm.
If he would've chosen to servesomeone else..
Hmm...
with all the riches he alreadyhad.
If he would've just stoppedcomplaining?
Like if you go down the list ofwhat you just said, he would've
had a totally differentexperience because he would've
(20:24):
maintained his joy where he was,with what he had, because he
would've been content.
I love this list.
Susan Dies (20:31):
That's so good.
Yeah.
That's so good.
You know, I think as believersthough, we can sometimes think
that because we're supposed tobe filled with joy..
Mm-hmm...
because we have all thesepromises from God...
that we can't be honest on daysthat we're struggling..
Mm...
because we don't want people tothink that we don't have it all
together.
Yeah.
Or we don't have faith, or thatwe're not trusting God.
What do you see as the danger inthat kind of thinking?
Keidra Hobley (20:53):
I think you get stuck in denial.
Hmm.
We are to cast all our cares onthe Lord, but you can't cast a
care that you won't acknowledge.
Right.
And so I think it's importantfor us to be honest with
ourself, honest with God, andthen at the end of the day,
still choose joy.
Yeah.
When we choose joy, it doesn'tmean that we lie about our
situation, our feelings, or ourcircumstance.
Mm-hmm.
(21:13):
We're honest about those things.
And in the midst of thosethings, we're still choosing
joy.
Susan Dies (21:18):
The thing that just came to my mind is isolation.
Yeah.
Sometimes when things startgoing wrong in our life we don't
want other people to know..
But Satan loves to get usisolated.
Yes.
Because that's when he canreally get into our heads.
Yeah.
That's why we need christiancommunity.
Absolutely.
It's why we need Christianfriendships and why it's so
important that we are connectedin a church, in a body of
(21:39):
believers.
No, you don't have to go tochurch to be saved.
Mm-hmm.
But...
we need each other.
That's right.
God did not create us to be inisolation.
He created us to be inrelationship and that goes
double for times when life ishard.
Mm-hmm.
Keidra Hobley (21:52):
You mentioned the enemy likes to get us in
isolation.
Mm-hmm.
And at the same time, on yourlist of how we can choose joy is
solitude.
So what's the difference betweenisolation and solitude?
Susan Dies (22:05):
Yeah, that's a good question.
They are different.
Solitude is you and God.
Okay.
That's good.
So it's not you and anybodyelse..
Ah...
but it's you and God.
Okay.
Isolation is you and you...
and your own pity party.
Ah, got it.
A party of one.
That's so good.
And so it's really about whereare our thoughts?
Mm-hmm.
You know?
Do our thoughts turn to God,"Lord, fill me up"..
(22:26):
Mm-hmm...
or do we stay home and dwell onwhatever it is that we have
going on and feel sorry forourselves..
Yeah, that's good...
and think, I really can't behonest about this with anyone
else, and I'm all by myself.
Yeah.
You're not by yourself.
Yeah.
So isolation and solitude arenot the same.
Very good.
That's a good question though.
So, how can we encourage someoneto choose joy without minimizing
(22:48):
suffering?
Mm-hmm.
You can't just say, choose joy.
Right.
Keidra Hobley (22:51):
Yeah.
I think we acknowledge the hurt.
Mm-hmm.
I think we acknowledge the pain.
Like even you bringing this up,my heart is going out to those
who have lost loved ones.
This may be their firstChristmas without them.
Mm-hmm.
And we cannot just approach aperson and say, choose joy.
No.
I hurt for you.
Mm-hmm.
My heart aches with you.
(23:13):
Right.
We acknowledge that.
We do what we can to help bringan ease in those situations.
Let people know that they'reseen and known and loved.
Mm-hmm.
I think it's important that wenot just try to sweep that under
the rug.
It's real.
Right.
And at the same time, I wouldbring a big dose of laughter,
you know?
Amen.
And so I think it's important tonot minimize the hurt, the pain,
(23:37):
the sorrow.
At the same time, give someone ahelping hand to not stay stuck
there.
Susan Dies (23:43):
Right.
You know, honestly, as I'vethought about that, I mean, this
is a pretty deep question.
There's so much anxiety and fearand depression and grief and
mental illness in our world, andif we've not walked through it,
it's hard to fathom what thatperson is going through.
Mm-hmm.
But what would you say tosomeone who says,'I just feel
numb.
Mm.
(24:03):
It's not just that I lack joy.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, I really feel nothing.
Mm-hmm.
I love Jesus and I know thathe's promised to give us joy.
I just don't understand.
Mm.
What would you say to encouragethat person?
Keidra Hobley (24:16):
I probably would pinch'em.
I know.
Bless your heart Susan.
She's looking at me.
Depending on who it is.
Oh, oh, because they're numb.
They're feeling numb.
That's the way my brain works.
Uhhuh.
Depending on who it was, Iwouldn't do that to everybody,
but someone who I was close to.
You would probably pinch me.
I would probably pinch'em.
Like, did you feel that yet?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So, so you're not numb.
(24:36):
So don't allow the enemy toallow you to believe that you're
numb.
I, I understand what you'resaying..
Right...
but you're not numb.
You just have to remember whatit's like to feel.
Okay.
And I would go to the word...
Nehemiah 8:10,"The joy of theLord is your strength." You're
feeling weak because you don'thave joy.
Susan Dies (24:56):
Mm-hmm.
To me, when someone says,'I feelnumb,' basically they're
shutting off their emotions.
Mm-hmm.
And so if you are to the place,you've had to shut down your
emotions you, shut out the goodand the bad.
Yes.
You shut out the things that arehurting you, but you've also
shut out the things that couldhelp you.
Mm-hmm.
If that makes sense.
(25:16):
It does.
And so I think it's importantthat if someone has gotten to
that point, there's no shame..
Mm-hmm...
if you need to consider seekingsome compassionate, professional
Christian counseling, because itcould be that there's something
they have not yet dealt with,and until they do, they may not
feel worthy..
Mm-hmm...
of God's love or his goodness.
(25:37):
They may not feel comfortable inGod's presence.
And, Psalm 16:11 says it's inthe presence of God..
Yes...
that we have fullness of joy.
Yes.
Sometimes when we're goingthrough a lot of things I ask
people, have you been prayingabout that?
Yeah.
Have you continued to just sitstill before the Lord?
Have you opened up the word?
And they're so bothered or upsetby whatever it is that they're
(26:00):
struggling with, that they'veshut that out too.
Yeah.
And that's the danger, becausethere's fullness of joy...
in the presence of God.
That's it.
And so sometimes, it could be assimple as getting back to the
basics.
Mm-hmm.
We get so busy.
It's part of the reason why Iget it really early.
I'm an early morning person.
I know not everybody is.
Yeah.
You gotta find your time.
But for me personally, it is thesweetest time of the day...
(26:22):
to just get up and spendliterally a couple of hours, in
his presence.
It fills me.
That's so good.
So good.
Any other thoughts?
Keidra Hobley (26:31):
No.
In the presence of God is thefullness of joy.
So if you wanna be full of joy,you've gotta get in the presence
of God.
Yeah.
And one of the easiest ways todo that is to get in the word.
Susan Dies (26:39):
Tara Leigh Cobble, who does the Bible Recap...
at the end of her recap, everyday she says He's where the joy
is.' Ah.
And I love that.
That's her..
That's so good...
tagline.
Alright, well, we're out of timetoday, but we hope that you've
enjoyed today's podcast and thatyou'll join us again in a couple
of weeks for our next episode.
In the meantime, we'd love foryou to take a minute to scroll
(27:01):
down and leave us a text ormaybe head over to our website,
one yes@atime.net and leave us acomment or a review because we
would love to hear from you.
In the meantime, keep choosingjoy...
and let the God of hope fill youwith joy by the power of the
Holy Spirit.
Susan Dies (27:17):
Father, we thank you so much that in your
presence there is fullness ofjoy, dear Lord.
So we just pray, dear God, thatyou would help us to
continuously run back into yourpresence, dear Lord.
We thank you for all of thepromises that are connected to
what it is that you have told usin your word, that we can have
joy by your spirit.
Amen.
And we thank you for that.
(27:38):
In Jesus name we pray.
Amen.
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