10. Luciana - youtuber

@LuaZerola, from Brazil via Yorkshire, with a fresh and light-hearted take on life. "I think we are too much over the top... we open so easy it makes people scared... In Brazil the moment you say hello, they're already in your house and sleeping with you wife". #otherlivesareavailable #podcast #eastlondon #youtuber

Episode Transcript

(00:03):
Every Tuesday and Friday I upload a video on YouTube.
So because I live close to the river, it it gives me the kind
of like open mind of whatever myplan.
I don't plan every day because again, I have to work and make
my own living. In that sense, YouTube for me is

(00:23):
a it started as a hobby. Now as I manage to monetize, I
think I'm going to be full on onit.
Right. So you said a lot of things
there. So you may you're a YouTube.
I'm a YouTube yes. And you're going to make a video
today on what? I'm going to talk about you

(00:44):
English guys. I'm going to talk.
I'm going to be gossiping about 5 habits that English people
have. I'm Brazilian, I was born in
Brazil but I live in England for30 years and I just literally
moved to London. So then today I'm going to tell
my followers in Brazil the habits that I managed to be

(01:09):
shocked at first as a Brazilian in England.
And then I said, right, I'm going to do a video today to
talk about the good habits that they have, which is only 5 that
actually. Only 5?
We've only got 5 good habits. Well, for today.
All right, OK. So we need to know these habits.

(01:31):
Yeah, well, this is the ones that kind of like put me in the
surprise mode as Brazilian because we don't have this.
First of all, it's like the English, they are so well
educated. No matter what, happy, angry,
right or wrong, they comes to a sorry, sorry.
Everything is a sorry no answer.If you're right, you actually

(01:54):
step on my toes. You say sorry, but if I punch
your face, we still say sorry. This.
Is true, we do say sorry A. Lot, Yeah.
Then then comes another thing isa little bit of a dispute.
Who makes the best cup of tea? Does the cup of tea start with
the milk first or the tea first?So because I lived in Yorkshire,

(02:16):
oh right, for 17 years, I'd say I learned from the Yorkshire
people that they make the best tea and then now that's.
What they say. These exactly, that's what they
say. But you know what?
I agree with them because I livethere and they'll know the
Yorkshire people. They are lovely, they are the
best people in the world. You've moved from Yorkshire down

(02:38):
to just before we go into the others.
You've moved from Yorkshire downto here.
What's the difference? A huge difference, a huge
difference. Yorkshire, we have the culture
in the we, we get involved with English people more often as
London is a multicultural city. And in that sense it makes a

(02:59):
little bit of a a learning curve.
You learn through different people.
But on the other side, as you come here to the England, it's
like you'll lose a little bit ofEnglish in London.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Yeah. I I'd like to ask you about the
five things about Yorkshire people, but we'll save that for
another day. So listen, you've told me about

(03:20):
the the tea and you've told me about the saying sorry, what's
next? The next Jesus, now he put me in
spots I have I have 5 in my mindand then I forgot I'm looking at
Englishman right here in front of me.
I kind of feel a little bit so the other the other one as when

(03:41):
I arrived here 30 years ago, theshock for me was like having to
share a bath together in the family.
Obviously 1994 I arrived and because I lived with my ex
mother-in-law it was like it wasa shock for me having to.

(04:02):
You talk about sharing the bath water.
So someone has a bath, they get out, the next person gets into
the same water. I made sure I was always the
first. When I realized I had to shed
the bath I said hang on, no, letit clever here.
So you don't share bath water inBrazil?
No, no, Brazil, we don't even have bath because it's a hot

(04:23):
country. It's a very tropical weather
there. So but then I've been told it
was just a saving water because of this World War, whatever.
I don't know. We obviously, but I had to
experience myself, which I didn't like it.
But again, like I said, I jump in the bath before anybody else.

(04:44):
So what's wrong with sharing bathwater?
I, I think he's a bit, a bit dirty, isn't he?
I like The Dirty, but not that way.
I like a bit dirty, but sorry. That way, though, you get a bit
Maine has hairy and you know, wecan be a bit awkward.

(05:09):
But how it's like I respect because that's why maybe after
sharing bath that's why they made me stay here for 30 years.
Who knows? Right #4.
Oh, I assume on #4 let me think,all right #4 #4 the habit was I

(05:31):
only tell by experience that I've lived, which was my family.
Like I said, even sharing that egg.
A bit awkward, didn't it? The Yorkshire people, they shed,
they, they boiled, they boiled 1egg and they cut in half.
Half for you, half for me. I said what the hell is going on
in here? Were they short of eggs?

(05:52):
Probably the kitch, the chicken,the kitchen, the kitchen, the
chicken in Brazil. Oh, the chicken in Yorkshire
didn't really put many eggs. That's what happened.
I've never heard that before. Honestly, it's true.
I lived in the countryside, so don't forget, a long time ago it

(06:13):
was life was difficult. I've lived with the bloke for.
Oh. Probably that was quick.
I know there was someone on a scooter whizzing past really
fast. Yeah, I've lived with someone
from Yorkshire, but I never had to share his egg.
Where did you live in the countryside?
No, no, no, just here in London.Ah, that's why.
Go back there and see how it goes.

(06:35):
Ah, so it's a countryside thing.Yeah, I'm not going to say
anything further because there'll be people listening
from Yorkshire. Well, I'm sorry on the excuse as
you say sorry all the time. That's my experience.
You've become more English. Brazilian Yorkshire have lots to
talk about you guys. I'm sorry, but I love you

(06:56):
anyway. And is there a fifth one that
you can think of? The first.
The first one, yeah. I mean, each one has surprised
me. Yeah.
Do you know, my friend, the halfeggs, the sharing of the bath?
I would never have thought of that.
No. Another thing I didn't like as
well, which was surprising me a lot was about talking carry on

(07:18):
about bath and showers through the showers.
People don't have a shower everyday in Yorkshire.
I don't know about London because I haven't actually had
no experience with an English person here.
A relationship, a situation shape.
So but there I used to grab my boyfriend to throw him in the to
have a bath or a shower. And even though I expected him

(07:41):
to be showering himself, he had these little towers and then he
was just warming the tower through the tap and cleaning up
himself instead of actually go inside the literally shower or
bath. So it was just bits cleaning up.
That's another thing I thought. That surprises me too.

(08:01):
Yeah, but like I said, it's a lot.
But again, just I, I chosen 5 which extremely got me.
But let's see how the change is going to be from now on as I'm
in London. Now you're a Londoner.
Now the thing I reckon about London is, and I say this to
people who come and visit me from other places, is from the

(08:25):
first day you're a Londoner because nobody knows.
Yeah, you don't feel you. Just walk out and nobody knows
you're not from London because it's so multicultural.
So it's very, it's very welcoming in that way, I think.
It is and this is, this is whereit shocked me a little because
it's a, it's a completely different lifestyle.

(08:45):
You don't feel literally you arearound English people because
I'm not being awkward and say that is a multicultural.
Because you're part of the multi.
Because I'm. I'm a.
Part of the yeah, part of the multiculturalism itself.
What I'm saying is, on the outskirts of London, on the
other towns, you feel more, you feel more the culture of being

(09:08):
in England. Don't.
Know. Isn't that the same in Brazil?
Is Brazil multicultural that way?
It is where you. Like if you go to the cities as
people from other Latin Americancountries and.
It is where you, the Brazilian, we are over 200 million people
in the whole country, maybe 300.I don't know exactly the figure,

(09:29):
but I say you don't feel that you're out of Brazil in London,
you feel that you're out of England.
Do you understand? What I mean, they say that
capital cities are never a country.
Capital cities are almost like aa separate country within a
country. Like if you go to Paris or Lagos
or Buenos Aires, it's not the same as the rest of the country.

(09:53):
Well, if you go to America, wherever you go in America, you
feel American. What I'm trying to explain to
you is like London is a city as you don't feel you are in the
UK. Are you with me?

(10:15):
You mentioned that you're makingthis video and you're going to
put these five things on it. Yeah.
Who's that video for? For the Brazilian Latin
Portuguese speakers like Portugal, Mozambique, I have a
lot of people from Angola to follow me and they wanted to see
how life is in the UK. And this is literally what I'm

(10:38):
saying is in a nice funny way. It's not malicious.
It's it's just like people laughwhen I talk because again, when
I talk to my, when I say things in my my language, it sounds
completely. People think, Oh my God, this
shouldn't be a comedian, but it's how I say things.
And, and been here a long time. It kind of put my mind in a

(11:00):
difficult situation. Even my language, I was
forgetting some words and I stuttering a lot.
And I feel like, how come I don't speak English and neither
Portuguese? What I'm going to do?
What I'm going to do? Because you're the way you speak
is a mixture. He's a mixture.
It's a mixture of an English accent, Yorkshire and a bit of

(11:20):
something else, which I, I wouldn't be able.
Yeah, which I wouldn't be able to recognize.
So. So the people who watch your
video could be in different Portuguese speaking countries,
Angola, Mozambique, Brazil or Portugal.
That's right. And do they react to your
videos? Do they ask you questions about
them? We just you just put it out

(11:41):
there and go have a look. At this here, there you go.
No, they do I've I kind of I project the video.
I kind of make a little businessplan in the sense of what I'm
going to put out there for them through the comments that they
leave behind. And they follow me on Instagram,

(12:03):
which they also asked me, can you do this?
How they how they behave? Can you tell me more about
English men? You know, especially being a
woman, I get a lot of attractionof women who who follow me to
understand if there is a chance to find an English boyfriend.
And I. Try to make them aware what it

(12:23):
comes up just in case if they wanted to carry on looking for
English one as a boyfriend and. What's your advice?
I'd say go for it. You are the easiest relationship
in the world for me. Oh, what?
What US Englishmen are easy for?Yeah, you can cook, you can
clean. And this is more what women

(12:44):
like. They want to find a man who can
do all sorts of things and bringpay the bills, look after the
babies. And that's I think is amazing.
Brazilian men don't do half of your what you can do for us.
Really. Yeah, they're very lazy.
We can't. We have to do everything.
We have to clean house washing and I'm sick of cleaning open,

(13:06):
especially washing underpants for men.
No chance. They have to clean my
underpants. They like my knee because they
can clean my knee. Brazil.
So you're saying in Brazil womenhave to do more of the kind of
daily? Proper housewife.
Do you know what though? A lot of English women who would

(13:28):
be listening to this would go well.
I'm not sure about that because I don't think Englishmen are
that good. They are because I can tell by
my brother-in-law and my ex-husband.
They used to do everything. That's why I brought my sister.
He I said, you know what the best man to marry is Englishman.
They can cook, they can clean, do all sorts and even look after

(13:48):
the baby when we're sleeping through the night.
I said they're amazing, come here.
So she came, got married to English man Sadly he passed away
last year. But was that's how it is?
Experiences, isn't it? Is it mostly women who watch
your YouTube videos or do you doit for men too?

(14:09):
I do for. Men I do for men I do for, for
whoever likes to watch. Sometimes I, I do a specific for
guys which they like cars. Guys in Brazil, they love cars.
Then I take them to, to, to go to the garages and see how now
nice sporty cars, Range Rovers, I go to those rallies.

(14:30):
I I do most of everything on my YouTube.
I want the world to see everything.
That's brilliant. So every day.
No every day. No, no every day because it's
always not paying me yet. But most of every day, twice a
week, I do lots of contents and I upload.
What about the editing process of thinking, right, that's good.

(14:55):
That's not good because it's it's a difficult one.
It's a difficult one to go. I'm happy with that or I'm not
quite happy with that. Do you know what I think more
natural you edit is, is what people wanted to see.
It used to be very like, well, professional editing people was

(15:15):
looking. But now I think people wanting
to see the reality, what is actually going on in the world
and from a person who leaves that moment instead of just
putting out their what they wanted to see what they wanted.
Because then it sounds a bit fake.
I'd rather give them what I'm going through myself than

(15:36):
pretending to be what I'm not. Because it can't go too long.
It's too tiring to pretend. I'd rather be real.
Now, something that friends of mine have gone to Brazil tell me
is the Brazilians wear their heart on their sleeve.
And it's kind of surprising to us as, as Europeans, when you go

(15:59):
to Brazil, because people tell you very intimate details and
they'll tell you things just when you're queuing for a bus or
when, when you're on public, youknow, in, in a restaurant or
something. And they say it's it's
incredible how emotional Brazilian people are.
Yeah, we take everyone to the heart, really.
We very, I say English guys, English people, the families

(16:22):
here, they're very accommodating.
Look at you accommodating the whole world into a beautiful
city, which is London. But again, the heart is there.
You can only open up to whoever you feel secure and safe around
with. You're not going to be knocking
in someone there. You're not going to see someone.
And it's like, Hey, I'm I need ahand here to talk.

(16:43):
I need someone to to cry out with me.
No, but you feel you have that feeling.
It's a it's a goat instinct, isn't it?
And is it, do you see that as a positive thing, being more open
with your feelings? No, no, I think you should be
more discreet. I think we are too much over the
top. I think we we kind of put in the

(17:04):
scenario of how do we say we, wekind of like we open so easy
that makes people scared you actually.
Even even in Brazil. No, in Brazil it's different.
In Brazil, everyone knows each other is like the moment you say
hello, they're already in your house, eating your food and

(17:25):
sleeping with your wife. It's like so easy Brazil.
And then it's honestly, it's like.
But why is it like that in Brazil?
How come you're so open and so emotional and so trusting?
We learn from the Portuguese people.
We learn from the Portuguese when they went to Brazil start
stealing money from us, so we started to say right, let's be

(17:47):
like them. We opened the door for the
Porsche gaze and guess what theystart stealing everything the
golds the mother so made Brazilian law open the as well.
That's why we are very friendly.Oh sorry voice true.

(18:13):
I remember when I first arrived in the UK and I went to
obviously to my relatives, my exmother-in-law, my sister-in-law,
blah blah blah. And then as we introduced it
straight away I was hugging and kissing and like part of my
family now I'm going to live in their house.
And they was like, come on. And they're from Yorkshire.
The Yorkshire, Yeah. And they're quite reserved.

(18:34):
They're known to be quite reserved.
And they, my sister-in-law, she was like pushing me.
To physically pushing. Your and I was like hugging her
and she said she's she's mad. Have they learned from you?
A lot and now you know what evento say I love you.
She's they Start learning to sayI love you because I was like,

(18:55):
hi darling, bye. I love you.
So then, because daddy, they don't say I love you to anybody.
And and for me being a foreignerto their house, it was like,
who's this mad woman coming here, hugging, kissing and and
then they got got used to straight away.
They managed to say, oh, she's adorable, she's all right.

(19:19):
And then there were so many I love you.
And at the end of the separationwas already I hate you instead
of loving you. After a while, they start hating
more than love. We was all right.
No, I'm only joking. I was OK.
I'm still friends with my sister-in-law 30 years
friendship. Come on, I must be a good person
and she is too long time friendship 30 years is a lot and

(19:44):
she's she's my doctor, she's my therapist, she's my existing
law, my best friend. She taught me to speak English,
although it's not good my English but.
Your English is great. But she's my rock, my existing
law, she's my rock. So we're sitting by the river.

(20:12):
It's a beautiful day. This is the River Thames.
We've got the skyline of London in front of us.
We're sitting under the shade ofa of a of a tree.
Is this giving you inspiration? Do you come to this part of the
riverfront for a break or do youcome here for inspiration?

(20:33):
What does this place mean to? You do, you know.
Now I'm going to open my heart to you.
I had a very tough time last year, lots of Downers.
And as I moved here four months ago, I always say, God, he put
me in such a beautiful scenario.So it's like when I open my eyes

(20:56):
every morning, especially because I live by the river and
I go to my balcony and I see thewhole London in my hands, the
beautiful river, the boats passing by.
And I feel what a grateful life that I have to be every morning
to say God has given me a chanceagain to be me and happy again.

(21:19):
So then I go out happy, meet people walking on this beautiful
river. Here I meet a lot of every day I
meet someone different and we all have all have sadness inside
of us and we carry a lot of pressure through the day.
Especially London being such an expensive city, some days you'll

(21:39):
think I have to work harder to put the food in my table.
And then going here, walking around here, see the dogs, see
the animals, see the birds, hearthe birds, it makes a huge
difference. And how can you not be happy?
It's interesting you say that. We all carry a lot of sadness
inside us. We do.

(22:01):
We all do. Sometimes we disclose, sometimes
we don't and but we don't have to live life thinking that the
carry on sadness is going to putus down because we have to be a
fighter. We have to carry on and make a
difference. Not being at home waiting for a
miracle to happen. If we're not out there.

(22:22):
You cannot change your circumstances.
If you're not trying harder, guess what?
It's not going to happen. And this is it for I try
everyday. Some days I feel, especially now
being on my pre menopause, it's like is the hard, I said to my
mom, You never told me that I have to go through this.
All of the women I know who havehad to go through what you're

(22:44):
going through are always surprised, and they say exactly
the same thing. It's like nobody told me.
Yes, honestly the difficult moments you swing moods from.
And thank God I'm single becauseif I were married, I'd kick my
husband out straight away. Some days I feel like, you know,
one day I woke up in the morningand I was feeling like I would
pull in my own hair thinking what is going on with me?

(23:07):
That's not me. I've been always bubbly, happy
and then one. And then I call my ex
sister-in-law. She's my best friend for 30
years and she copes with me and she knows me well.
And I said, you know what is it right?
Is it is it normal that when we go through this pre menopause
start pulling hairs and crying out, talking to the self in

(23:29):
front of the mirror and thinkingfeeling sorry for yourself.
I said enough I'm not going to allow this because I think I was
losing my mind. But then now I exercise, I go on
the bike. I do lots of you know, YouTube
for me, believe it or not, not saying just to to say it gave me
a different perspective of life.I start meeting people all over

(23:53):
the world. The person they don't even know
me. What I like, what it's like if
I'm a nice person, if I'm not nice is change completely.
I started as a escape and through the escape now I'm going
further and I'm starting to see all the message that I received
is beautiful. You feel like I feel loved by

(24:16):
the person that don't even know me.
That's amazing. It's true.
So it's kind of going back to what we were saying about being
open with your emotions on YouTube.
It's it's kind of the same thing, but to anyone anywhere.
Yeah, yeah. To to whoever wants it's it's

(24:42):
like we have to make a choice and decide what we want, because
you don't have to expect someoneout there to bring you
happiness. The happiness have to come from
you. Is is inside you.
Is it comes within. How about the thing, though,
that we all have problems with in terms of social media, and
that is the reaction. You put up a post, you make a

(25:04):
comment and you look to see if someone likes it or what their
reaction is. Is that not a difficulty?
When you put up your videos, if you don't get enough people's
reaction, if people don't like it, is that does that not bring
you down? No, it doesn't, because if
you're a fighter, you have to show there is, there is a
division of life. No, no, everybody's going to

(25:27):
like the same things. It's like, it's like food.
I I say to you, eat this cake isamazing and it's beautiful, but
guess what? Your, your mouth going to stay
different to you, your taste is going to stay right.
I don't feel the same. Imagine if we all like the same
thing. You what, what's up?
I, I, we, we say like what happened to the green color?

(25:50):
If everybody likes the blue? So literally there is people
that was not going to like, but hey, they make me better because
if they don't like Bexo and I'm going to try and see if I can
change their mind. Right.
So you, you, you, you take the negatives and you turn them into
positives, is what? You say that's how I take.
Yeah, that's what I do. For me, criticism, it comes no

(26:14):
matter how good you do. Some people are so jealous and
they criticize you because they feel already negative inside
themselves. And they think because I cannot
have you, cannot have you too. Do you understand?
It's like people react. I think people react how they
feeling in the moment. They're feeling bad to
themselves because they're angry.

(26:36):
They're going to be splitting out the anger to all the other
people. I don't care if they like or not
what I do for what what I like. I don't please people, please
myself. You said you were a fighter.
Have you always been a fighter since you were a little kid?
Is it something you've learnt asyou go through life?

(26:58):
I was always afraid to probably learn from my mom.
My mom separated from my father very young.
I I remember perfect. I was 8 years old when my mom
one day sat me and my two brothers on the on the path
then. And then she packed my dad's
clothes in the in the suitcase. And this is still in my mind

(27:19):
till now. And she said you're going to
have to sit here and wait for your father to come home because
he's leaving. So maybe I carried that little
bit of a frustration not to havemy father around me, but it made
me a strong thinking, well, if my mom decided that my dad is
not a good father to be around us, who am I to change her

(27:42):
decision? I'm through there.
I made my own decision to be happy myself instead of hurting
other people because she not realise she hurting the kids
because we also had the choice to have dad around.
But because he she made the choice.
So probably I carry my mind. I have to make my choice and

(28:02):
I'll be a fighter wherever I go.But as long as I don't hurt all
the people to be happy, I'm going to fight it to make myself
happy. But it's inevitable.
You always make someone sad or you always hurt someone you
don't. You can't just be the goody
goody all the time. And your brothers, how did they

(28:25):
react at that point? My brothers also my, my older
brother, he at when he turned 1718, he rebelled and then after
through relationship here relationship there, we found out
he then had a mental big breakdown and he was diagnostic

(28:46):
with bipolar and then I don't know.
And then now he's dad taking care of my mum.
So circumstances is everywhere really.
Situation change from family to family all the time.
And we're all individuals. You all, even as children,
reacted in different ways to thesame situation.
That's why I I feel I'm a fighter.

(29:07):
I'm a fight in the sense of making better for me and my son
every day. I separated from my ex-husband.
My son was only 1 1/2 a year. Imagine a Brazilian separating
husband blah blah blah kids only1 1/2 and I.
I'm a fighter, I'm a survivor. Did you stay in contact with

(29:29):
your dad when your mum made thatdecision?
Yes, yes. When I was forcing, he then
invited me to go work and teach me how to to work.
I was a tomboy with my dad because we had a shop.
He had a shop selling car parts.So I, I, I knew how to change
car tyres, lots of things as a kid.

(29:51):
So then from there I never stopped working.
And your relationship with your dad and your relationship with
your mum, are they both good? My dad, we lost contact because
when I met my husband, boyfriend, then he said if you
go back to if you go to live in a different country, you have to

(30:11):
forget that you have a father. So serious.
Yeah, he said. You have to choose to go, to go
follow a man, a love life or if you leave this country, you're
going to have to forget. I am your father and since then
I have forgotten but not. But then I forgot in the sense

(30:36):
not in contact, but I forgive him.
Why do you think he said that? Because he probably is a
protection, his daughter going different country, not knowing
what is out there on the other parts of the world.
And now I understand. Then I didn't.

(30:58):
I was very young, I was 19. But now I fully understand being
a mother. I probably think if my son says
mom, I'm going to live in Australia, I'd feel the same.
But not saying that if you go, I'm going to.
I'm not going to be your mom anymore, but will you?
When he said that to you, what did you feel and how did you

(31:19):
react? Oh, I cried.
I cried. I, I was crying.
I said. I saw, I cried so much.
But then I reacted in a very badway.
I said, well, from now on you'renot my father anymore.
Bye. That's how I reacted.
But when I got home, I cried, cried, cried.
But I came. I didn't stop.

(31:42):
Maybe now he understand, maybe now also it's been 11 years
since I, I went to Brazil and, and to be honest, I tell you
right now, it's quite sad. Sometimes it hurts me a lot.
My father, he does, he never seen his grandkids, he never
seen my son. My son is a 27 year old boy and

(32:03):
he never seen him. It's quite sad.
Let's move the subject and have a laugh.
Yeah, too much, Too much of A no.
Let's change. Let's make a laugh.
It's easier. What are you going to do this
week? This week, well, the week is

(32:25):
finished. Now is the weekend.
I'm going to be I my plans probably work editing my videos.
Yeah, no much. Just be around.
Here is a holiday for me every day.
Oh, that's a lovely feeling. Sometimes when I feel like I
want to go holiday, I hop on theriver towns that are on the what

(32:50):
they call. On the On the river taxis on
the. Boat on the boat and then go
like tourists, go through sea all day every day and make
myself like pretend to be a tourist.
It it sounds like every day you've got options.

(33:10):
It doesn't sound like you're struggling.
Even though you say you haven't monetized the YouTube yet and
you're in a new city. It sounds like you're what we
would say pint half full. Oh nice, I wish it was a proper
fool. Half full, I take it, but I I'm

(33:31):
going to make it fuller. I'm going to make how do you say
when it goes? When when it's.
Yeah, but it's overflowing. Overflowing.
That's what I want. That's brilliant.
That's a lovely approach to life.
Yeah, what's going in? Let me interview you.
What's going on in your mind after talking so much?

(33:51):
Really. Do you know what I've I've loved
just having our chat. Oh, that's nice.
Thank you. So.
Much because we because we met, because we met just over there
like 100 meters away and I heardyou talking to somebody else and
then I asked if we could sit down and have a chat.
I'm very easygoing. I can talk to anyone, you know,

(34:12):
It's like, I probably am very I talk.
If a person wants to say to, to react to the conversation, good.
If not, they're lost. I carry on talking to someone
else. It might take much to talk to
someone and make a friend. They don't.
It's not expectations, you know.And also interactions with

(34:36):
strangers cheer you up. I find it cheers me up.
It me too me too. It's a learning curve.
We learn every day is look, lookat now.
I opened up so many things from my privacy life to to not
knowing you. But it's easier to actually be
myself and say you ask questions, conversation go along

(34:57):
and then all of a sudden you realized you told them almost
everything. But it's not something that
hurts me. It's something that I look very
proudly to say. Well, I made it and you know
what, because I made it till here.
I'm going to carry on making it it.
Kind of every. It kind of gives you confidence,
doesn't? It absolutely.
I'm full. I'm very confident.

(35:20):
I'm very confident. Not arrogant, but confident.
But like I said, my priorities, myself, my life, my kids, my
family and my friends, as long as I am happy for them and
cheering them up and make them feel good as I am.
Don't get me wrong, like I said,some days we go down, some days

(35:42):
we go up, but that's how life islike a heartbeat, isn't it?