August 19, 2025 • 29 mins
A sitcom following the life of a witty high school English teacher and her students, balancing educational chaos with clever humor. It’s beloved for its sharp writing and charm.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Colgate Dental Cream to clean your breath while you clean
your teeth and help stop tooth decay. And Bluster Cream
shampoo for samt Glamorous Caressible Hair. Bring you our Miss Brooks,
darring Eve Arden.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Time once again for another comedy episode of All This Books,
written by al leis Well.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Last Friday fell on the thirteenth of the month, a
day of caution for the superstitious. But to our Miss Brooks,
who teaches English at Madison High School, it didn't.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Mean a thing.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
No.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
Indeed, even when my landlady told me at breakfast that
our cat Minerva came home with two black kittens, I
just laughed and said, Missus Davis, no, oh, yes.
Speaker 5 (00:45):
They've just had our last drop of milk.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
Good. Minerva and I were always so friendly. She didn't
say a word to me about this.
Speaker 5 (00:53):
All the kittens aren't MI nervous. I don't know where
they belong. All I know is that we can't afford
to keep it. It would mean two more mouths to feed.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
You're right, Missus Davis. We've got enough trouble feeding the
mouths we've got.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
Hey, I've got an idea. We could leave them in
the Snodgrass pet Shop until we located the owners sketch.
His father has all sorts of things.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
In his plate, that's true. He even has stretch, good
over stretch.
Speaker 5 (01:23):
That boy certainly is a fine afthleete.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
Yes he is. Now if there was only some way
we could find to exercise his brain. Don't worry about
the kittens, Missus Davis. I'll have Walter Dent and drop
them off at the pet shop on our way to
school this morning.
Speaker 5 (01:37):
Good, And one more thing, Connie, would you deliver this
jar to mister Conklin when you get to school?
Speaker 4 (01:43):
Certainly, Missus Davis, what have you cooked up for our
beloved principles?
Speaker 5 (01:47):
It's a secret concoction, Connie, my own recipe.
Speaker 6 (01:51):
It never fails.
Speaker 7 (01:52):
Good.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
How long does it take to work? And will they
find out what's in it at the autopsy?
Speaker 5 (02:00):
It's just a remedy for hiccups, Connie. It contains nothing
but juniper juice, oil of clothes, a dash of vinegars,
vanilla extract, a spoonful of baking stone.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Tell me the rest after breakfast.
Speaker 5 (02:14):
That's not older is to it, But it's very good,
Missus Conklin says. It's just a nervous reaction. She called
last night and told me he'd got the hiccups yesterday,
just a few minutes after he found out that the
superintendent of schools is visiting him this afternoon.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Mister Michael, why should he give mister Conklin the hiccups?
Speaker 5 (02:34):
Well, there's a new term starting in February, and it
seems that mister Michaels wants to chat with Osgood about
the way he's running Madison.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
You mean, if mister Michaels finds fault with something, there's
a chance that mister Conklin may not be Oh, and
I've cut it out. Connie, are too old to live
in a dream world. Oh that's Walder. Dan come in, Walter,
I'd better go into the kitchen.
Speaker 5 (02:59):
I've got it clean those dishes I used to the kittens.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Why don't you let Minerva do the dishes? They're her friends?
Speaker 6 (03:07):
Did I hear Missus Davis mentioned kittens?
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Just some trench and acquaintances. Walder, We're gonna drop them
off at Stretches pet Chop on the way to school.
Speaker 8 (03:15):
Ohs well, Stretch'll get a big kick out of him.
He loves animals, all kinds of animals.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
I know you've been friends for years. I hope you're
not superstitious, Walder. But these are both black cats. And
today is Friday the thirteenth.
Speaker 6 (03:31):
Oh, that doesn't bother Meaness Brooks.
Speaker 8 (03:33):
This is gonna be a red letter day in my memory,
the day when the results of careful planning should be
brought to fruition.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Translation.
Speaker 8 (03:41):
Well, you've heard of cure that habit incorporated, haven't you?
Speaker 4 (03:44):
You mean the outfit that helps people overcome alcoholism.
Speaker 8 (03:47):
Yes, ma'am, they got a big ad in the papers.
You know, perhaps you were someone near and dear to
you as a victim of this dread disease. Send for
our instructive literature telling how you too can be cured.
Speaker 6 (04:00):
Before yesterday I sent for it, you d I.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Always thought you were strictly a two coca day man.
Speaker 8 (04:08):
Oh I didn't sing my name and address to the request.
I printed the name of someone very near and dear
to me.
Speaker 6 (04:14):
Who that's good?
Speaker 4 (04:15):
Conklin, Older, mister Conklin doesn't drink. Why even on New
Year's Eve he just had fruit punch. His proudest boast
is that he's a teetotaler.
Speaker 6 (04:27):
Well, that's a humor of it.
Speaker 8 (04:29):
When he gets all this stuff in the mail, he'll
think that somebody somewhere doesn't believe that he doesn't drink
pat thought alone should turn him purple.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Thought could be quite a picturesque spectacle. But I still
don't think it's right, Walter. Does Harriet know about this rib?
Of course not.
Speaker 6 (04:44):
She's his daughter. She likes mister Conklin.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
Well, she's bright in other ways. Now, come on, Walter,
we've got to get started for school if we're going
to drop those kittens off.
Speaker 6 (04:57):
Okay, miss Brooks, oh one th before we go.
Speaker 8 (05:01):
Everything I've told you today is strictly confidential, and not
that I'm asking for an oath of secrecy or anything.
I know that I couldn't possibly feel the admiration and
respect for you that I do feel if I thought
you're right on me, I mean betraying my confidence about
this joke that I'm playing.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
Well, don't worry, Walter, your secret is safe with me.
Speaker 6 (05:20):
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 8 (05:20):
That statement makes me feel warm all over, really sure,
in a dangerous practical joke like this, it's great to
know that somebody else is in it with you, up
to her ears.
Speaker 7 (05:40):
So to have kept you waiting mister Chalmers, what can
I do for you?
Speaker 9 (05:43):
Well, mister Michaels, as superintendent of schools, you're acquainted, no
doubt with the principle of Madison High School.
Speaker 7 (05:48):
Oh, yes, that's as good conkling. Matter of fact, I'm
going to see him this afternoon.
Speaker 9 (05:52):
Then I'd very much like to go with you. You see,
mister Michaels, my son attends Madison High and I'm very
anxious to find out the meaning this postcard which arrived
at my office this morning.
Speaker 7 (06:02):
Post card, Yes, sir, I'll read it to you.
Speaker 9 (06:05):
It's addressed to Cure that Habit Incorporated. That's my firm,
mister Michaels, and it says, uh, kindly send me all
your literature. I am determined once and for all to
rid myself of the curse of alcoholism. It's signed Osgod Conklin.
Speaker 6 (06:29):
Here we are, Miss Brooks, dear old Madison High.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
I should have known that this Nodgrass pet shop doesn't
open until nine. What in the world are we going
to do with these kittens?
Speaker 6 (06:38):
Walder Gosh, I don't know, Miss Brooks. Mister Conkline's awfully
strict about pets in the building. The only animals are
louder in mister Boynton's lab. Oh say we could keep
them in there until lunch period.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
That's right, then Stretch could take them over to his
dad's shop. Come on, Walter, let's take them in. Wait
a minute, where are the kittens.
Speaker 8 (06:56):
I've got them in my sweater pocket. See here's one
here and here's the other one.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
So much from Maxine and Laverne. Oh, miss brook Hello, Patty,
I mean Harriet.
Speaker 6 (07:18):
Harriet, But I gotta run now. I'll talk to you later.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
Okay, Walder, How does your dad feel, Harriet? Or the
hiccups gone?
Speaker 8 (07:24):
Yes, Miss Brooks, they disappeared about an hour ago, but
I'm afraid it isn't permanent. Every time something unpleasant happens
that brings them on again.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
Well, maybe this remedy that missus Davis sent down will
be of some help. I'd better take it into him
right now, all right, Miss Brooks, see you in class?
That man, it's me, mister Conklin.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Oh, Miss Brooks, Well they're back.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Who's back?
Speaker 7 (07:59):
Does your question?
Speaker 4 (08:01):
Maybe you should see a doctor.
Speaker 7 (08:02):
Mister Conklin saw a doctor yesterday. Big Up.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Told me to relax and they go away. Relax, ng
Up what's in that.
Speaker 7 (08:14):
Jar you've got there?
Speaker 4 (08:15):
It's a hiccup cure that Missus Davis asked me to
give you. She made it herself.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
What's in it?
Speaker 4 (08:20):
Nothing but juniper juice, oil of clothes, a dash of
vinegars and vanilla extract and baking soda.
Speaker 7 (08:25):
I'd rather have the hiccup, mister Conselin.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
If you haven't got anything else handy, maybe you ought
to try some of missus Davis's remedy.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Well, I might take just one swallow of the stuff.
Give it here.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
Well, mister Conkler, what does it taste like?
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Well, it tastes like.
Speaker 10 (08:44):
Pick up like, like hick up like.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
What's the difference? As long as it does the jaw.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
All This crook starring Eve Varden will continue in just
a moment, But first here is Verne Smith. No other
dentiferus offers proof of such results, proof that Colgate dattle
cream helps stop tooth decay before it starts. Two years
research at leading universities using Coldgate dental cream, hundreds of
case histories makes this the most conclusive proof in all
(09:23):
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are brushed with colgates right after eating Coldgate dattle cream
helps stop tooth decay before it starts. Yes, the toothpaste
you use to clean your breath while you clean your
teeth now offers a safe, proved.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Way to reduce tooth decays.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Modern science shows decay is caused by moth acids, which
are at their worst right after eating. Brushing teeth with
colgates as directed helps remove acids before they harm en.
Ammo Coldgate dattle Cream has been proved to contain all
the necessary ingredients, including an exclusive patented ingredient for.
Speaker 7 (09:59):
A f effective daily dental care.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Get Colgate dental cream today big economy size only fifty
nine cents. Remember, no other dentiferics offers proof of such results,
So always use Coldgate dentel cream to clean your breath
while you clean your teeth and help stop twoth decay
before it starts.
Speaker 4 (10:27):
Well. After giving mister Conklin an antidote for missus Davis's
hiccup remedy, I returned to my classroom and whiled away
the hours before lunch by teaching a bit of English.
Promptly at noon, I found myself by the amazing coincidence
which occurs daily at mister Boynton's biology lab. Come in.
Speaker 11 (10:49):
Oh it's hu, miss Brooks. I'm glad you dropped in,
very glad.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
Indeed, honestly, mister Boyton, I should say.
Speaker 11 (10:54):
So, you've got to get these cats out of here.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
Now, don't worry about that. Walter Denson has a Stretch
to pick them up and take them to the Snodgrass
Pet Shop. Oh good, where are they, mister Barney.
Speaker 11 (11:06):
I had to keep them over here in a separate
cage away from the white mice. They were pretty upset.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
Cats do that to mice is a rule.
Speaker 11 (11:16):
Here they are. Yeah, this one loves to be pettied.
Speaker 10 (11:25):
Yeah, so does this one for that matter.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Oh excuse me, miss Brooks.
Speaker 12 (11:42):
I didn't mean to interrupt.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
That's all right, Stretch.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
I don't mind waiting if you want to finish your song.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
No thanks, I don't know the rest of the words.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Ah, these are the cats Walda wants me to take
down to the shop.
Speaker 11 (11:57):
Oh that's right, Stretch.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
You think you can handle them all right?
Speaker 13 (12:00):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (12:00):
I love animals, Gosh, I think the animals are smarter
than a lot of people of whom I'm acquainted with.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
I know they're smarter than some people of whom I'm
acquainted with.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Before I take the cats, mister Boyton, i'd like to
talk to you about a swap.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
You got a bullfrog in here.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
I'd like to show my dad.
Speaker 11 (12:18):
You don't mean my pet McDougall.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Oh no, sir, I know you wouldn't let Mac out
of your sight. I mean there's big fellow over here.
Speaker 7 (12:24):
Hi, Oh boy, I have big fella.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
See he knows me say more fulla.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
He certainly talks to your language.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
If you'll let me have, mister Boyton, I'll give you Clarence.
Speaker 7 (12:43):
Clarence, I got them right here in my pocket.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
There he is.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Buffy scared.
Speaker 6 (12:50):
He's perfectly harmless.
Speaker 7 (12:51):
Isn't he, mister Boynton.
Speaker 11 (12:52):
Oh, yes, of course it's completely non poisonous. Miss Brooks.
This little creature is a milk snake.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
That's right, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 7 (12:58):
Just a little old milk snake.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
Must take a pretty shallow bucket.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
If he couldn't possibly hurt anyone, Miss Brooks, He's just
a baby that doesn't prove anything.
Speaker 4 (13:13):
When I was a baby, I bit people all the time.
Take him away, Stretch, please.
Speaker 11 (13:18):
Well, yes, Stretch, you keep the snake and take the
frog along too.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
Gee, thanks, mister Boyton.
Speaker 12 (13:23):
I'll take awful good care of him.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
Don't forget the kittens, Stretch, Well, I won't.
Speaker 12 (13:27):
Let's you know what's a good thing.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
I wore my sports jacket today.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
I can put the kittens in the side pockets, the
frog in an inside pocket, and Clarence in my breast pocket.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
Too bad, you're not a kangaroo. You could give me
a lift of the cafeteria.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Oh, I'm not going to the cafeteria. I gotta go
to the principal's office and clean it up. Mister Conglan's
expecting some high brass down.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
You mean the chandelier's loose.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
No, ma'am, Superintendent of schools is coming here, and that
reminds me. Mister Conklin says that you should inspect his
office as soon as I get through and see that
everything's spick and spin me.
Speaker 7 (14:08):
That's right, Miss Brooks, Well, I.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Better get gone. Thanks for the keen frog, mister Boynton.
Speaker 11 (14:12):
Well, you're welcome, Stretch, see you in a little while.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
Miss Brooks, Oh that's just dandy. Now, I won't be
able to accept your charming invitation to lunch.
Speaker 11 (14:20):
Mister Boton what invitation. Oh you mean to lunch, see,
miss Brooks, maybe you could have a quick lunch with
me and then inspect mister Concklan's office.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
I hate to disappoint you, mister Boyton, that that's just
what I'm going to do.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Last windows clean mister Conklin's office.
Speaker 7 (14:42):
Looks meat is a pin, don't you think so, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Let's see, yes, it looks very nice stretch. Mister Conklin
should be very pleased when he gets back from lunch.
Speaker 12 (14:50):
I hope.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
So.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
Now I'll put my jacket back on and get these
animals back to the Hey, wait a minute, they're gone.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
Who's gone?
Speaker 12 (14:59):
Everybody?
Speaker 4 (15:02):
The frog and the snake.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
He must have crawled out of my pockets when I
put my jacket on.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Oh no, well, they must be in the office somewhere.
We've got to find them before me. Mister Conklin.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Yeah, he's done the very nice jobs.
Speaker 7 (15:14):
Right.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
Well, thanks, mister coon.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Run along now, Miss Brooks, you will stay here and
help me find some papers. Yes, sir, but mister Conor,
I've already thanked you Snodgrass.
Speaker 11 (15:22):
Now go.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
Now, then, miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
I've been trying to locate the semi annual report I
made to the Board of Education six months ago. Will
you kindly look in the top drawer of my desk
while I try the closet here very.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
Well, mister Conklan, Yeah, it's not in there. If you
hardly looked, Miss Brooks, I saw enough.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
I'm not in here either. Oh, it must be in
this draw Let me look for myself. You were right,
miss Brooks. There's nothing in there but a cat. Well,
maybe it's in this other draw No, just another cat. Well,
(16:14):
in that case, I simply have just another.
Speaker 13 (16:18):
Cat brook one of those two cats doing in my desk.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
Maybe they're looking for the report too. They might have
strayed in through an open window. Mister Conklin, I'll have
them removed it once.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Well, see that you do, But first go look in
my filing cabinet.
Speaker 4 (16:37):
Yes, sir, look.
Speaker 7 (16:39):
Under letter B.
Speaker 4 (16:40):
Yes, sir, what are you doing in here? You should
be filed under F It's not in here, mister Conklin.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Well it must be somewhere.
Speaker 7 (16:54):
Let me look.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Oh what's in this badge? I'd say one letter from
boys Town might be the patrol badge, one communication from
the board, one frog, an invitation of the Elks, barbecue.
Another notice of a board meeting a letter.
Speaker 13 (17:13):
One frog, Miss Brooks, is a frog hopping around my filing. Yeah,
he's jumping all over the place. What do I do,
Miss Brooks?
Speaker 4 (17:26):
Why don't you hit him with the snake that's crawling
on your coat lapel?
Speaker 2 (17:32):
That's a good idea.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
I just take this snake and then I'll.
Speaker 14 (17:35):
Take this snake.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
Here, Miss Conlan, just file him underrest.
Speaker 13 (17:42):
What's going on here?
Speaker 4 (17:44):
Miss Brooks?
Speaker 13 (17:45):
Look books this mark on my hand? That snake bit me.
I'm to be inoculated. Take me to the first hate room.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
I just sit in that chair and relaxed for a minute.
Mister Conklin, I'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
As you say, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 13 (18:10):
Why are miss Brooks?
Speaker 3 (18:11):
I got all the animals out of mister Conklin's office.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
Good for a while there, he thought the snake bit him.
But I've convinced mister Conkloran that the mark on his
hand is just a bruise. In fact, I was looking
for some rubbing alcohol, but they seem to be out
of it in first aid.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
I'll get you some over at the gym, But first
I'd like to cheer mister Conklin up a bit. Why
are mister Conckland.
Speaker 4 (18:29):
Let's see your.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Hand there all black and blue. That ain't nothing at all,
mister Conklin.
Speaker 7 (18:35):
The skin ain't even broke.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
You got nothing to.
Speaker 7 (18:38):
Worry about, thank you, doctor.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Now that he now that here.
Speaker 15 (18:52):
There they are again.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
Oh, don't worry about them, mister Conklin.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
I didn't expect you'd be concerned, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
Well, frankly after hearing nothing but myse and who all
day you leave to hear us?
Speaker 3 (19:08):
Oh?
Speaker 12 (19:08):
I know, I sure cure for hit up coffins.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
I'll just sit back in that swivel chair for a minute.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
I am sitting back swell now.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
The idea is to start spinning you around.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
Slowly, yeah straight, to stop that, but not a fail dot.
You mustn't spend mister conflict like that.
Speaker 10 (19:24):
I know we gotta spin a bastard.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
Stop. Sn't want to hear me?
Speaker 10 (19:31):
I said, stop.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
There, daddy, I've been looking all over for you.
Speaker 15 (19:40):
Who are these girls who just came in.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
Me?
Speaker 4 (19:46):
Daddy? Harriet?
Speaker 6 (19:47):
Who mister Michaels is waiting for you.
Speaker 10 (19:49):
In your off Oh?
Speaker 4 (19:50):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Harriet just got up and who oh I can heard
this handem?
Speaker 4 (19:54):
So does he maybe you want to spin around the
other way for a while.
Speaker 7 (19:57):
Well, let me help you, mister conk I'll deal with
you later.
Speaker 16 (20:00):
Boy.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Meanwhile, Miss Brooks, you go ahead and tell mister Michaels.
I'll be right there. I'll lean on Harriet and stretch
until I feel a little stronger.
Speaker 9 (20:15):
So you see, mister Michaels, I certainly wouldn't want my
boy in a school run by someone who had to
come to my firm for assistance.
Speaker 7 (20:21):
I'm sure there must be some mistake, mister Chalmers. I've
known as good Conkton for a good many years, and
whatever else he may be, he's not a drinking man.
Speaker 4 (20:31):
Good day, gentlemen. I'm miss Brooks. Mister Conklin will be
here in a minute.
Speaker 7 (20:35):
I'm mister Michaels, Miss Brooks, and this is mister Chalmers.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
How do you do?
Speaker 4 (20:38):
How do you do?
Speaker 7 (20:39):
Tell me? Miss Brooks? Sir, how is mister Conklin feeling
these days?
Speaker 4 (20:44):
Seeing? I'm just fine? He's never been better?
Speaker 14 (20:46):
Good you see, mister Chalmers, I'm sure that one look
at mister Compton will convinte you that he's not the
typer person who sends postcards to cure that Habit Incorporated.
Speaker 13 (20:57):
Oh, mister Michaels, sorry, i'mley.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
Can help you up.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Mister Conklin, I must have tripped, mister Michaels. And who
are these gentlemen with you?
Speaker 4 (21:18):
These gentlemen are mister Chalmers. Shake hands with the one
in the middle.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Pleasure to know you, mister Chalmers.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
Don't look now, but that's mister Michael. Here's mister Chalmers.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Oh, of course, glad to shake your hand.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
Mister Chalmers, you're shaking his umbrella.
Speaker 9 (21:38):
What seems to be the matter, mister Conklin, having trouble
with your visions?
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Oh, yes, yes, I said, I broke my glasses this morning.
Well I'll get over here, sit down at my desk.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
Michaels.
Speaker 7 (21:49):
Look at him, stagger incredible, Miss Brookes, you said, mister
Conklin never felt better.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
That's right. You should have seen him an hour ago. Boy,
what hiccup kick?
Speaker 7 (22:01):
Yes? Yes, I always get them when I'm startled.
Speaker 9 (22:04):
And what may I ask?
Speaker 6 (22:06):
Startled you?
Speaker 4 (22:06):
He opened his desk drawer this morning and saw a
cat in it.
Speaker 7 (22:10):
Tell me, mister Conklin, in which drawer did you see
the cat?
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Well, the first cat I saw was in this draw
in this door, mister Conklin. No, no, there's another cat
in there. It was the one in here that startled me.
Speaker 9 (22:31):
Would you mind showing us your cats, mister Conklin.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
Not at all. They're right here in these drawers.
Speaker 9 (22:37):
While they're gone, they come and they go.
Speaker 7 (22:40):
Mister cons Miss Brooks, where are the cats?
Speaker 4 (22:43):
They disappeared right after I took you to first aid.
But he really did see them, gentlemen.
Speaker 7 (22:48):
Indeed, the next thing you'll be trying to tell us
is that he found a bullfrog in his filing cabinet.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
How did you know.
Speaker 15 (23:04):
Bull frog too?
Speaker 7 (23:05):
It must be some error here.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
Yes, he was filed under B instead of as.
Speaker 9 (23:11):
Well, mister Michaels. Do you believe me now?
Speaker 7 (23:13):
I'm afraid I do. Mister Channeler's company. I don't want
to seem unnecessarily cruel, but if you want to stay
on as principle.
Speaker 13 (23:21):
Of business, pardon me, folks.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Oh, here's your alcohol, mister Conklin.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
I'll take it.
Speaker 13 (23:27):
It's Brooks.
Speaker 7 (23:29):
That alcohol is for, mister Conklin.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
Yes, it's for where the snake bit in. Yeah, of
course it really really didn't bite him. He just thought
it did.
Speaker 9 (23:43):
So, so you saw a snake too, mister.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Con Yes, yes, I did, right on my lapel. Although
I'm told he's not poisonous, snakes still give me an
extremely unpleasant feeling. I assure you that if I ever
see him again, I'll wait a minut. There he is
under your chair, mister Chalmers.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Look, I'll get him. Get him.
Speaker 7 (24:07):
There.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
Good for you, mister Conklin, you have just killed mister Chalmers.
Umbrella getting out of here.
Speaker 9 (24:19):
This man is danger.
Speaker 7 (24:20):
I'll go with you, mister Chalmers. As for you, mister Compton,
I'll talk to you again with your sober. Sober mister Chalmers,
here is the head of cure that habit incorporated. Oh no,
this card he received yesterday will explain why he called
on me this morning. Good day.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Sure this habit incorporated?
Speaker 7 (24:41):
What has that got to do with me?
Speaker 4 (24:43):
Miss Brooks?
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Read this card for me.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
It says, kindly send me all your literature. I am
determined once and for all to rid myself of the
curse of alcoholism and its signed os good conkline course soul.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Any man who has to resort to writing in.
Speaker 4 (25:02):
It a good parfen. I know you didn't write this postcard,
because I know who did. But it was only a
little Friday the thirteenth joke, and I'm honor bound not
to mention who did it.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Oh you are well, miss Brookes. Such loyalty is worthy
of a better faith than the one under which you
are about to crumble. You see, you and I have
traveled the road of learning together for some time now.
It hasn't always been a smooth road, but it's been
(25:39):
our road, Miss Brookes. Now do you know what's in
store for you?
Speaker 4 (25:45):
I believe I do, Mister Countlin, pass me the rubbing alcohol.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
The rubbing alcohol, Yes.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
I might as well have one for the road.
Speaker 11 (26:06):
Eve Arden is on.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
This Frooks returns in just a moment.
Speaker 12 (26:09):
But first, dream Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful, luster Cream Girl.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Tonight, Yes, tonight, show him how much lovelier your hair
can look after a luster cream shampoo. Luster Cream World's
finest shampoo. No other shampoo in the world gives Kdoman's
magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle anoline, not a soap,
not a liquid. Luster cream shampoo leaves hair three ways lovelier,
(26:39):
fragrantly clean, free of loose dandruff, glistening with sheen, soft,
manageable even in hardest water, luster cream lathers instantly. No
special rints needed after a luster cream shampoo. So gentle
luster cream is wonderful.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Even for children's hair.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Tonight, Yes, tonight, try luster cream shampoo.
Speaker 12 (27:00):
Dream Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful.
Speaker 7 (27:05):
Luster Cream Girl.
Speaker 12 (27:08):
You your crowning glory too, are luster cream shampoo.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
And now once again, here is our miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
Well.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
Much to my surprise, mister Conklin didn't dismiss me on
the spot, but he did insist that I report to
his office immediately after school. On my arrival, he told
me we were going down to mister Michael's office immediately.
But mister Conklin, what good will that do.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
If you won't tell me who sent that card?
Speaker 13 (27:38):
In?
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Perhaps you'll tell the superintendent of schools. I'll wait right
where you are, miss Brookes Simon, if you get my
hat and coat out at the club.
Speaker 4 (27:44):
Yes, mister Conklin, Hi am Miss Crooks.
Speaker 6 (27:46):
Gee, I'm glad mister Conklin's not here, Walter waiting. Yes,
here's an ad for another one of those liquor cures.
I'm gonna sign his name to boy. I wish I
could see his face when he finds out about this one.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
I'll bet he'll be positively purple.
Speaker 8 (28:01):
The word for it, Old marble head'll turn all the
colors of the rainbow.
Speaker 4 (28:12):
What should I do now? There's only one thing you
can do. Plead insanity.
Speaker 10 (28:20):
Extra clean to one of the armist Brookshaws.
Speaker 15 (28:23):
Rock You by Lucky Teen Samples the Top Glamo Forressible.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
Hair and Colgate Sapletream.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
But clean your breath while you clean your teeth and
help stop tooth decay. Our Miss Brooks, starring e Varden,
is produced by Larry Burns, directed by Al Lewis, with
music by Wilbur Hadge. Mister Boynton is played by Jeff Chandler,
Mister Conton by Gail Gordon. Others in the night's cast
were Jane Morgan, Dick Crenna, Lauria Macmillan, Bill Lally, Leonard
Smith and Francis X.
Speaker 7 (28:47):
Bushman.
Speaker 15 (28:53):
For a beauty bath that brings you glamour from head
to toe, get bath size Parmer Live Soap.
Speaker 16 (28:59):
Yes, Ladies, for a velvet smooth beauty ladder that corresses
your skin leaves your whole body glowing with the warm
blush of fragrant loveliness. Enjoy your beauty bath with bath
size pal Molly. It's perfect for your tabo shower. Just
a justless massage over your body creates a glorious ladder
that leads your skin delightful.
Speaker 15 (29:20):
Yes for the most luxurious bath you've ever had, get
big bath size parmel It soap.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Or Mystery liberally sprinkled with laughs.
Speaker 12 (29:29):
Listen to Mystery and Missus North here's the evening.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Over most of these stations, and be with us again
at the same time.
Speaker 13 (29:34):
Next week or another comedy episode.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Of our Miss Brooks bab La mon speaking.
Speaker 7 (29:41):
I hadly have roadcastings to se
Colgate Dental Cream to clean your breath while you clean
your teeth and help stop tooth decay. And Bluster Cream
shampoo for samt Glamorous Caressible Hair. Bring you our Miss Brooks,
darring Eve Arden.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Time once again for another comedy episode of All This Books,
written by al leis Well.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Last Friday fell on the thirteenth of the month, a
day of caution for the superstitious. But to our Miss Brooks,
who teaches English at Madison High School, it didn't.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Mean a thing.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
No.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
Indeed, even when my landlady told me at breakfast that
our cat Minerva came home with two black kittens, I
just laughed and said, Missus Davis, no, oh, yes.
Speaker 5 (00:45):
They've just had our last drop of milk.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
Good. Minerva and I were always so friendly. She didn't
say a word to me about this.
Speaker 5 (00:53):
All the kittens aren't MI nervous. I don't know where
they belong. All I know is that we can't afford
to keep it. It would mean two more mouths to feed.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
You're right, Missus Davis. We've got enough trouble feeding the
mouths we've got.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
Hey, I've got an idea. We could leave them in
the Snodgrass pet Shop until we located the owners sketch.
His father has all sorts of things.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
In his plate, that's true. He even has stretch, good
over stretch.
Speaker 5 (01:23):
That boy certainly is a fine afthleete.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
Yes he is. Now if there was only some way
we could find to exercise his brain. Don't worry about
the kittens, Missus Davis. I'll have Walter Dent and drop
them off at the pet shop on our way to
school this morning.
Speaker 5 (01:37):
Good, And one more thing, Connie, would you deliver this
jar to mister Conklin when you get to school?
Speaker 4 (01:43):
Certainly, Missus Davis, what have you cooked up for our
beloved principles?
Speaker 5 (01:47):
It's a secret concoction, Connie, my own recipe.
Speaker 6 (01:51):
It never fails.
Speaker 7 (01:52):
Good.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
How long does it take to work? And will they
find out what's in it at the autopsy?
Speaker 5 (02:00):
It's just a remedy for hiccups, Connie. It contains nothing
but juniper juice, oil of clothes, a dash of vinegars,
vanilla extract, a spoonful of baking stone.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Tell me the rest after breakfast.
Speaker 5 (02:14):
That's not older is to it, But it's very good,
Missus Conklin says. It's just a nervous reaction. She called
last night and told me he'd got the hiccups yesterday,
just a few minutes after he found out that the
superintendent of schools is visiting him this afternoon.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Mister Michael, why should he give mister Conklin the hiccups?
Speaker 5 (02:34):
Well, there's a new term starting in February, and it
seems that mister Michaels wants to chat with Osgood about
the way he's running Madison.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
You mean, if mister Michaels finds fault with something, there's
a chance that mister Conklin may not be Oh, and
I've cut it out. Connie, are too old to live
in a dream world. Oh that's Walder. Dan come in, Walter,
I'd better go into the kitchen.
Speaker 5 (02:59):
I've got it clean those dishes I used to the kittens.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Why don't you let Minerva do the dishes? They're her friends?
Speaker 6 (03:07):
Did I hear Missus Davis mentioned kittens?
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Just some trench and acquaintances. Walder, We're gonna drop them
off at Stretches pet Chop on the way to school.
Speaker 8 (03:15):
Ohs well, Stretch'll get a big kick out of him.
He loves animals, all kinds of animals.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
I know you've been friends for years. I hope you're
not superstitious, Walder. But these are both black cats. And
today is Friday the thirteenth.
Speaker 6 (03:31):
Oh, that doesn't bother Meaness Brooks.
Speaker 8 (03:33):
This is gonna be a red letter day in my memory,
the day when the results of careful planning should be
brought to fruition.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Translation.
Speaker 8 (03:41):
Well, you've heard of cure that habit incorporated, haven't you?
Speaker 4 (03:44):
You mean the outfit that helps people overcome alcoholism.
Speaker 8 (03:47):
Yes, ma'am, they got a big ad in the papers.
You know, perhaps you were someone near and dear to
you as a victim of this dread disease. Send for
our instructive literature telling how you too can be cured.
Speaker 6 (04:00):
Before yesterday I sent for it, you d I.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Always thought you were strictly a two coca day man.
Speaker 8 (04:08):
Oh I didn't sing my name and address to the request.
I printed the name of someone very near and dear
to me.
Speaker 6 (04:14):
Who that's good?
Speaker 4 (04:15):
Conklin, Older, mister Conklin doesn't drink. Why even on New
Year's Eve he just had fruit punch. His proudest boast
is that he's a teetotaler.
Speaker 6 (04:27):
Well, that's a humor of it.
Speaker 8 (04:29):
When he gets all this stuff in the mail, he'll
think that somebody somewhere doesn't believe that he doesn't drink
pat thought alone should turn him purple.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Thought could be quite a picturesque spectacle. But I still
don't think it's right, Walter. Does Harriet know about this rib?
Of course not.
Speaker 6 (04:44):
She's his daughter. She likes mister Conklin.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
Well, she's bright in other ways. Now, come on, Walter,
we've got to get started for school if we're going
to drop those kittens off.
Speaker 6 (04:57):
Okay, miss Brooks, oh one th before we go.
Speaker 8 (05:01):
Everything I've told you today is strictly confidential, and not
that I'm asking for an oath of secrecy or anything.
I know that I couldn't possibly feel the admiration and
respect for you that I do feel if I thought
you're right on me, I mean betraying my confidence about
this joke that I'm playing.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
Well, don't worry, Walter, your secret is safe with me.
Speaker 6 (05:20):
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 8 (05:20):
That statement makes me feel warm all over, really sure,
in a dangerous practical joke like this, it's great to
know that somebody else is in it with you, up
to her ears.
Speaker 7 (05:40):
So to have kept you waiting mister Chalmers, what can
I do for you?
Speaker 9 (05:43):
Well, mister Michaels, as superintendent of schools, you're acquainted, no
doubt with the principle of Madison High School.
Speaker 7 (05:48):
Oh, yes, that's as good conkling. Matter of fact, I'm
going to see him this afternoon.
Speaker 9 (05:52):
Then I'd very much like to go with you. You see,
mister Michaels, my son attends Madison High and I'm very
anxious to find out the meaning this postcard which arrived
at my office this morning.
Speaker 7 (06:02):
Post card, Yes, sir, I'll read it to you.
Speaker 9 (06:05):
It's addressed to Cure that Habit Incorporated. That's my firm,
mister Michaels, and it says, uh, kindly send me all
your literature. I am determined once and for all to
rid myself of the curse of alcoholism. It's signed Osgod Conklin.
Speaker 6 (06:29):
Here we are, Miss Brooks, dear old Madison High.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
I should have known that this Nodgrass pet shop doesn't
open until nine. What in the world are we going
to do with these kittens?
Speaker 6 (06:38):
Walder Gosh, I don't know, Miss Brooks. Mister Conkline's awfully
strict about pets in the building. The only animals are
louder in mister Boynton's lab. Oh say we could keep
them in there until lunch period.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
That's right, then Stretch could take them over to his
dad's shop. Come on, Walter, let's take them in. Wait
a minute, where are the kittens.
Speaker 8 (06:56):
I've got them in my sweater pocket. See here's one
here and here's the other one.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
So much from Maxine and Laverne. Oh, miss brook Hello, Patty,
I mean Harriet.
Speaker 6 (07:18):
Harriet, But I gotta run now. I'll talk to you later.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
Okay, Walder, How does your dad feel, Harriet? Or the
hiccups gone?
Speaker 8 (07:24):
Yes, Miss Brooks, they disappeared about an hour ago, but
I'm afraid it isn't permanent. Every time something unpleasant happens
that brings them on again.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
Well, maybe this remedy that missus Davis sent down will
be of some help. I'd better take it into him
right now, all right, Miss Brooks, see you in class?
That man, it's me, mister Conklin.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Oh, Miss Brooks, Well they're back.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Who's back?
Speaker 7 (07:59):
Does your question?
Speaker 4 (08:01):
Maybe you should see a doctor.
Speaker 7 (08:02):
Mister Conklin saw a doctor yesterday. Big Up.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Told me to relax and they go away. Relax, ng
Up what's in that.
Speaker 7 (08:14):
Jar you've got there?
Speaker 4 (08:15):
It's a hiccup cure that Missus Davis asked me to
give you. She made it herself.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
What's in it?
Speaker 4 (08:20):
Nothing but juniper juice, oil of clothes, a dash of
vinegars and vanilla extract and baking soda.
Speaker 7 (08:25):
I'd rather have the hiccup, mister Conselin.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
If you haven't got anything else handy, maybe you ought
to try some of missus Davis's remedy.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Well, I might take just one swallow of the stuff.
Give it here.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
Well, mister Conkler, what does it taste like?
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Well, it tastes like.
Speaker 10 (08:44):
Pick up like, like hick up like.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
What's the difference? As long as it does the jaw.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
All This crook starring Eve Varden will continue in just
a moment, But first here is Verne Smith. No other
dentiferus offers proof of such results, proof that Colgate dattle
cream helps stop tooth decay before it starts. Two years
research at leading universities using Coldgate dental cream, hundreds of
case histories makes this the most conclusive proof in all
(09:23):
dentiferous history on tooth decay. Conclusive proof that when teeth
are brushed with colgates right after eating Coldgate dattle cream
helps stop tooth decay before it starts. Yes, the toothpaste
you use to clean your breath while you clean your
teeth now offers a safe, proved.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Way to reduce tooth decays.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Modern science shows decay is caused by moth acids, which
are at their worst right after eating. Brushing teeth with
colgates as directed helps remove acids before they harm en.
Ammo Coldgate dattle Cream has been proved to contain all
the necessary ingredients, including an exclusive patented ingredient for.
Speaker 7 (09:59):
A f effective daily dental care.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Get Colgate dental cream today big economy size only fifty
nine cents. Remember, no other dentiferics offers proof of such results,
So always use Coldgate dentel cream to clean your breath
while you clean your teeth and help stop twoth decay
before it starts.
Speaker 4 (10:27):
Well. After giving mister Conklin an antidote for missus Davis's
hiccup remedy, I returned to my classroom and whiled away
the hours before lunch by teaching a bit of English.
Promptly at noon, I found myself by the amazing coincidence
which occurs daily at mister Boynton's biology lab. Come in.
Speaker 11 (10:49):
Oh it's hu, miss Brooks. I'm glad you dropped in,
very glad.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
Indeed, honestly, mister Boyton, I should say.
Speaker 11 (10:54):
So, you've got to get these cats out of here.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
Now, don't worry about that. Walter Denson has a Stretch
to pick them up and take them to the Snodgrass
Pet Shop. Oh good, where are they, mister Barney.
Speaker 11 (11:06):
I had to keep them over here in a separate
cage away from the white mice. They were pretty upset.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
Cats do that to mice is a rule.
Speaker 11 (11:16):
Here they are. Yeah, this one loves to be pettied.
Speaker 10 (11:25):
Yeah, so does this one for that matter.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Oh excuse me, miss Brooks.
Speaker 12 (11:42):
I didn't mean to interrupt.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
That's all right, Stretch.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
I don't mind waiting if you want to finish your song.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
No thanks, I don't know the rest of the words.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Ah, these are the cats Walda wants me to take
down to the shop.
Speaker 11 (11:57):
Oh that's right, Stretch.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
You think you can handle them all right?
Speaker 13 (12:00):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (12:00):
I love animals, Gosh, I think the animals are smarter
than a lot of people of whom I'm acquainted with.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
I know they're smarter than some people of whom I'm
acquainted with.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Before I take the cats, mister Boyton, i'd like to
talk to you about a swap.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
You got a bullfrog in here.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
I'd like to show my dad.
Speaker 11 (12:18):
You don't mean my pet McDougall.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Oh no, sir, I know you wouldn't let Mac out
of your sight. I mean there's big fellow over here.
Speaker 7 (12:24):
Hi, Oh boy, I have big fella.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
See he knows me say more fulla.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
He certainly talks to your language.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
If you'll let me have, mister Boyton, I'll give you Clarence.
Speaker 7 (12:43):
Clarence, I got them right here in my pocket.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
There he is.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Buffy scared.
Speaker 6 (12:50):
He's perfectly harmless.
Speaker 7 (12:51):
Isn't he, mister Boynton.
Speaker 11 (12:52):
Oh, yes, of course it's completely non poisonous. Miss Brooks.
This little creature is a milk snake.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
That's right, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 7 (12:58):
Just a little old milk snake.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
Must take a pretty shallow bucket.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
If he couldn't possibly hurt anyone, Miss Brooks, He's just
a baby that doesn't prove anything.
Speaker 4 (13:13):
When I was a baby, I bit people all the time.
Take him away, Stretch, please.
Speaker 11 (13:18):
Well, yes, Stretch, you keep the snake and take the
frog along too.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
Gee, thanks, mister Boyton.
Speaker 12 (13:23):
I'll take awful good care of him.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
Don't forget the kittens, Stretch, Well, I won't.
Speaker 12 (13:27):
Let's you know what's a good thing.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
I wore my sports jacket today.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
I can put the kittens in the side pockets, the
frog in an inside pocket, and Clarence in my breast pocket.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
Too bad, you're not a kangaroo. You could give me
a lift of the cafeteria.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Oh, I'm not going to the cafeteria. I gotta go
to the principal's office and clean it up. Mister Conglan's
expecting some high brass down.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
You mean the chandelier's loose.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
No, ma'am, Superintendent of schools is coming here, and that
reminds me. Mister Conklin says that you should inspect his
office as soon as I get through and see that
everything's spick and spin me.
Speaker 7 (14:08):
That's right, Miss Brooks, Well, I.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Better get gone. Thanks for the keen frog, mister Boynton.
Speaker 11 (14:12):
Well, you're welcome, Stretch, see you in a little while.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
Miss Brooks, Oh that's just dandy. Now, I won't be
able to accept your charming invitation to lunch.
Speaker 11 (14:20):
Mister Boton what invitation. Oh you mean to lunch, see,
miss Brooks, maybe you could have a quick lunch with
me and then inspect mister Concklan's office.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
I hate to disappoint you, mister Boyton, that that's just
what I'm going to do.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Last windows clean mister Conklin's office.
Speaker 7 (14:42):
Looks meat is a pin, don't you think so, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Let's see, yes, it looks very nice stretch. Mister Conklin
should be very pleased when he gets back from lunch.
Speaker 12 (14:50):
I hope.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
So.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
Now I'll put my jacket back on and get these
animals back to the Hey, wait a minute, they're gone.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
Who's gone?
Speaker 12 (14:59):
Everybody?
Speaker 4 (15:02):
The frog and the snake.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
He must have crawled out of my pockets when I
put my jacket on.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Oh no, well, they must be in the office somewhere.
We've got to find them before me. Mister Conklin.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Yeah, he's done the very nice jobs.
Speaker 7 (15:14):
Right.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
Well, thanks, mister coon.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Run along now, Miss Brooks, you will stay here and
help me find some papers. Yes, sir, but mister Conor,
I've already thanked you Snodgrass.
Speaker 11 (15:22):
Now go.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
Now, then, miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
I've been trying to locate the semi annual report I
made to the Board of Education six months ago. Will
you kindly look in the top drawer of my desk
while I try the closet here very.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
Well, mister Conklan, Yeah, it's not in there. If you
hardly looked, Miss Brooks, I saw enough.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
I'm not in here either. Oh, it must be in
this draw Let me look for myself. You were right,
miss Brooks. There's nothing in there but a cat. Well,
maybe it's in this other draw No, just another cat. Well,
(16:14):
in that case, I simply have just another.
Speaker 13 (16:18):
Cat brook one of those two cats doing in my desk.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
Maybe they're looking for the report too. They might have
strayed in through an open window. Mister Conklin, I'll have
them removed it once.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Well, see that you do, But first go look in
my filing cabinet.
Speaker 4 (16:37):
Yes, sir, look.
Speaker 7 (16:39):
Under letter B.
Speaker 4 (16:40):
Yes, sir, what are you doing in here? You should
be filed under F It's not in here, mister Conklin.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Well it must be somewhere.
Speaker 7 (16:54):
Let me look.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Oh what's in this badge? I'd say one letter from
boys Town might be the patrol badge, one communication from
the board, one frog, an invitation of the Elks, barbecue.
Another notice of a board meeting a letter.
Speaker 13 (17:13):
One frog, Miss Brooks, is a frog hopping around my filing. Yeah,
he's jumping all over the place. What do I do,
Miss Brooks?
Speaker 4 (17:26):
Why don't you hit him with the snake that's crawling
on your coat lapel?
Speaker 2 (17:32):
That's a good idea.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
I just take this snake and then I'll.
Speaker 14 (17:35):
Take this snake.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
Here, Miss Conlan, just file him underrest.
Speaker 13 (17:42):
What's going on here?
Speaker 4 (17:44):
Miss Brooks?
Speaker 13 (17:45):
Look books this mark on my hand? That snake bit me.
I'm to be inoculated. Take me to the first hate room.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
I just sit in that chair and relaxed for a minute.
Mister Conklin, I'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
As you say, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 13 (18:10):
Why are miss Brooks?
Speaker 3 (18:11):
I got all the animals out of mister Conklin's office.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
Good for a while there, he thought the snake bit him.
But I've convinced mister Conkloran that the mark on his
hand is just a bruise. In fact, I was looking
for some rubbing alcohol, but they seem to be out
of it in first aid.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
I'll get you some over at the gym, But first
I'd like to cheer mister Conklin up a bit. Why
are mister Conckland.
Speaker 4 (18:29):
Let's see your.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Hand there all black and blue. That ain't nothing at all,
mister Conklin.
Speaker 7 (18:35):
The skin ain't even broke.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
You got nothing to.
Speaker 7 (18:38):
Worry about, thank you, doctor.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Now that he now that here.
Speaker 15 (18:52):
There they are again.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
Oh, don't worry about them, mister Conklin.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
I didn't expect you'd be concerned, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
Well, frankly after hearing nothing but myse and who all
day you leave to hear us?
Speaker 3 (19:08):
Oh?
Speaker 12 (19:08):
I know, I sure cure for hit up coffins.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
I'll just sit back in that swivel chair for a minute.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
I am sitting back swell now.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
The idea is to start spinning you around.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
Slowly, yeah straight, to stop that, but not a fail dot.
You mustn't spend mister conflict like that.
Speaker 10 (19:24):
I know we gotta spin a bastard.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
Stop. Sn't want to hear me?
Speaker 10 (19:31):
I said, stop.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
There, daddy, I've been looking all over for you.
Speaker 15 (19:40):
Who are these girls who just came in.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
Me?
Speaker 4 (19:46):
Daddy? Harriet?
Speaker 6 (19:47):
Who mister Michaels is waiting for you.
Speaker 10 (19:49):
In your off Oh?
Speaker 4 (19:50):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Harriet just got up and who oh I can heard
this handem?
Speaker 4 (19:54):
So does he maybe you want to spin around the
other way for a while.
Speaker 7 (19:57):
Well, let me help you, mister conk I'll deal with
you later.
Speaker 16 (20:00):
Boy.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Meanwhile, Miss Brooks, you go ahead and tell mister Michaels.
I'll be right there. I'll lean on Harriet and stretch
until I feel a little stronger.
Speaker 9 (20:15):
So you see, mister Michaels, I certainly wouldn't want my
boy in a school run by someone who had to
come to my firm for assistance.
Speaker 7 (20:21):
I'm sure there must be some mistake, mister Chalmers. I've
known as good Conkton for a good many years, and
whatever else he may be, he's not a drinking man.
Speaker 4 (20:31):
Good day, gentlemen. I'm miss Brooks. Mister Conklin will be
here in a minute.
Speaker 7 (20:35):
I'm mister Michaels, Miss Brooks, and this is mister Chalmers.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
How do you do?
Speaker 4 (20:38):
How do you do?
Speaker 7 (20:39):
Tell me? Miss Brooks? Sir, how is mister Conklin feeling
these days?
Speaker 4 (20:44):
Seeing? I'm just fine? He's never been better?
Speaker 14 (20:46):
Good you see, mister Chalmers, I'm sure that one look
at mister Compton will convinte you that he's not the
typer person who sends postcards to cure that Habit Incorporated.
Speaker 13 (20:57):
Oh, mister Michaels, sorry, i'mley.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
Can help you up.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Mister Conklin, I must have tripped, mister Michaels. And who
are these gentlemen with you?
Speaker 4 (21:18):
These gentlemen are mister Chalmers. Shake hands with the one
in the middle.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Pleasure to know you, mister Chalmers.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
Don't look now, but that's mister Michael. Here's mister Chalmers.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Oh, of course, glad to shake your hand.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
Mister Chalmers, you're shaking his umbrella.
Speaker 9 (21:38):
What seems to be the matter, mister Conklin, having trouble
with your visions?
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Oh, yes, yes, I said, I broke my glasses this morning.
Well I'll get over here, sit down at my desk.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
Michaels.
Speaker 7 (21:49):
Look at him, stagger incredible, Miss Brookes, you said, mister
Conklin never felt better.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
That's right. You should have seen him an hour ago. Boy,
what hiccup kick?
Speaker 7 (22:01):
Yes? Yes, I always get them when I'm startled.
Speaker 9 (22:04):
And what may I ask?
Speaker 6 (22:06):
Startled you?
Speaker 4 (22:06):
He opened his desk drawer this morning and saw a
cat in it.
Speaker 7 (22:10):
Tell me, mister Conklin, in which drawer did you see
the cat?
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Well, the first cat I saw was in this draw
in this door, mister Conklin. No, no, there's another cat
in there. It was the one in here that startled me.
Speaker 9 (22:31):
Would you mind showing us your cats, mister Conklin.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
Not at all. They're right here in these drawers.
Speaker 9 (22:37):
While they're gone, they come and they go.
Speaker 7 (22:40):
Mister cons Miss Brooks, where are the cats?
Speaker 4 (22:43):
They disappeared right after I took you to first aid.
But he really did see them, gentlemen.
Speaker 7 (22:48):
Indeed, the next thing you'll be trying to tell us
is that he found a bullfrog in his filing cabinet.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
How did you know.
Speaker 15 (23:04):
Bull frog too?
Speaker 7 (23:05):
It must be some error here.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
Yes, he was filed under B instead of as.
Speaker 9 (23:11):
Well, mister Michaels. Do you believe me now?
Speaker 7 (23:13):
I'm afraid I do. Mister Channeler's company. I don't want
to seem unnecessarily cruel, but if you want to stay
on as principle.
Speaker 13 (23:21):
Of business, pardon me, folks.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Oh, here's your alcohol, mister Conklin.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
I'll take it.
Speaker 13 (23:27):
It's Brooks.
Speaker 7 (23:29):
That alcohol is for, mister Conklin.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
Yes, it's for where the snake bit in. Yeah, of
course it really really didn't bite him. He just thought
it did.
Speaker 9 (23:43):
So, so you saw a snake too, mister.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Con Yes, yes, I did, right on my lapel. Although
I'm told he's not poisonous, snakes still give me an
extremely unpleasant feeling. I assure you that if I ever
see him again, I'll wait a minut. There he is
under your chair, mister Chalmers.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Look, I'll get him. Get him.
Speaker 7 (24:07):
There.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
Good for you, mister Conklin, you have just killed mister Chalmers.
Umbrella getting out of here.
Speaker 9 (24:19):
This man is danger.
Speaker 7 (24:20):
I'll go with you, mister Chalmers. As for you, mister Compton,
I'll talk to you again with your sober. Sober mister Chalmers,
here is the head of cure that habit incorporated. Oh no,
this card he received yesterday will explain why he called
on me this morning. Good day.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Sure this habit incorporated?
Speaker 7 (24:41):
What has that got to do with me?
Speaker 4 (24:43):
Miss Brooks?
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Read this card for me.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
It says, kindly send me all your literature. I am
determined once and for all to rid myself of the
curse of alcoholism and its signed os good conkline course soul.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Any man who has to resort to writing in.
Speaker 4 (25:02):
It a good parfen. I know you didn't write this postcard,
because I know who did. But it was only a
little Friday the thirteenth joke, and I'm honor bound not
to mention who did it.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Oh you are well, miss Brookes. Such loyalty is worthy
of a better faith than the one under which you
are about to crumble. You see, you and I have
traveled the road of learning together for some time now.
It hasn't always been a smooth road, but it's been
(25:39):
our road, Miss Brookes. Now do you know what's in
store for you?
Speaker 4 (25:45):
I believe I do, Mister Countlin, pass me the rubbing alcohol.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
The rubbing alcohol, Yes.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
I might as well have one for the road.
Speaker 11 (26:06):
Eve Arden is on.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
This Frooks returns in just a moment.
Speaker 12 (26:09):
But first, dream Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful, luster Cream Girl.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Tonight, Yes, tonight, show him how much lovelier your hair
can look after a luster cream shampoo. Luster Cream World's
finest shampoo. No other shampoo in the world gives Kdoman's
magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle anoline, not a soap,
not a liquid. Luster cream shampoo leaves hair three ways lovelier,
(26:39):
fragrantly clean, free of loose dandruff, glistening with sheen, soft,
manageable even in hardest water, luster cream lathers instantly. No
special rints needed after a luster cream shampoo. So gentle
luster cream is wonderful.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Even for children's hair.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Tonight, Yes, tonight, try luster cream shampoo.
Speaker 12 (27:00):
Dream Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful.
Speaker 7 (27:05):
Luster Cream Girl.
Speaker 12 (27:08):
You your crowning glory too, are luster cream shampoo.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
And now once again, here is our miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
Well.
Speaker 4 (27:22):
Much to my surprise, mister Conklin didn't dismiss me on
the spot, but he did insist that I report to
his office immediately after school. On my arrival, he told
me we were going down to mister Michael's office immediately.
But mister Conklin, what good will that do.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
If you won't tell me who sent that card?
Speaker 13 (27:38):
In?
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Perhaps you'll tell the superintendent of schools. I'll wait right
where you are, miss Brookes Simon, if you get my
hat and coat out at the club.
Speaker 4 (27:44):
Yes, mister Conklin, Hi am Miss Crooks.
Speaker 6 (27:46):
Gee, I'm glad mister Conklin's not here, Walter waiting. Yes,
here's an ad for another one of those liquor cures.
I'm gonna sign his name to boy. I wish I
could see his face when he finds out about this one.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
I'll bet he'll be positively purple.
Speaker 8 (28:01):
The word for it, Old marble head'll turn all the
colors of the rainbow.
Speaker 4 (28:12):
What should I do now? There's only one thing you
can do. Plead insanity.
Speaker 10 (28:20):
Extra clean to one of the armist Brookshaws.
Speaker 15 (28:23):
Rock You by Lucky Teen Samples the Top Glamo Forressible.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
Hair and Colgate Sapletream.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
But clean your breath while you clean your teeth and
help stop tooth decay. Our Miss Brooks, starring e Varden,
is produced by Larry Burns, directed by Al Lewis, with
music by Wilbur Hadge. Mister Boynton is played by Jeff Chandler,
Mister Conton by Gail Gordon. Others in the night's cast
were Jane Morgan, Dick Crenna, Lauria Macmillan, Bill Lally, Leonard
Smith and Francis X.
Speaker 7 (28:47):
Bushman.
Speaker 15 (28:53):
For a beauty bath that brings you glamour from head
to toe, get bath size Parmer Live Soap.
Speaker 16 (28:59):
Yes, Ladies, for a velvet smooth beauty ladder that corresses
your skin leaves your whole body glowing with the warm
blush of fragrant loveliness. Enjoy your beauty bath with bath
size pal Molly. It's perfect for your tabo shower. Just
a justless massage over your body creates a glorious ladder
that leads your skin delightful.
Speaker 15 (29:20):
Yes for the most luxurious bath you've ever had, get
big bath size parmel It soap.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Or Mystery liberally sprinkled with laughs.
Speaker 12 (29:29):
Listen to Mystery and Missus North here's the evening.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Over most of these stations, and be with us again
at the same time.
Speaker 13 (29:34):
Next week or another comedy episode.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Of our Miss Brooks bab La mon speaking.
Speaker 7 (29:41):
I hadly have roadcastings to se
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