August 22, 2025 • 26 mins
A sitcom following the life of a witty high school English teacher and her students, balancing educational chaos with clever humor. It’s beloved for its sharp writing and charm.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
For your entertainment and pleasure. Here is our Miss Brooks,
Darring Eve Arden. Our Miss Brooks teaches English at Madison
High School, and like many other teachers, started last Monday.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
And like many other teachers, I attended a faculty meeting
Monday afternoon. Here, our beloved Principle osgood Conklin gave me
my semiannual pat on the back. Then I picked myself
up and walked back across the room, and he instituted
his new crackdown plan, more discipline, less horseplay. Everybody told
(00:44):
the line run the school in orderly manner. After this
mirth provoking monologue, he chewed up a little furniture and
stalked out, Well, maybe it was the faculty meeting, or
then again, maybe it was the watercress and cucumber sandwich
I had before retired. At any rate, I remember lying
in bed Monday night and dozing off when suddenly I
(01:07):
seem to be awakened by a loud pounding at my door.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
What is it?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Who's there?
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Did?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I ask, good Conkland? You are, beloved Principle. I'm coming in,
mister Conkland.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Is anything wrong wrong?
Speaker 1 (01:22):
There's plenty wrong. We've got to crack down, more discipline,
let's horse play, everybody told the line, run the school
in an orderly manner with mister Conklin.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Is this your idea of less horse play? I was
fast asleep all and.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I hope I'm not disturbing you.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
I'll go right on sleeping.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Good, Miss Brooks, I have got to talk to you.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Well, pull up at cucumber sand Rich and sit down.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Mister Conklin, you're biting the arm of my chair.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Yeah so, I am sorry, but you know how I
get when i'm upset. Now, then, miss Brooks, we've got
to have more discipline, to have discipline. Got to have discipline, got.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
To have discipline.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
You hear me, Miss Brooks, I just heard four of you.
You are right, there are four of me. More discipline, Concline,
less horseplay, Conkline told the line. Conkline, and run the
school in an orderly manner. Conklin, I wish I could
add just one more, which one rest in peace?
Speaker 5 (02:23):
Conclin.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Enough of these pleasantries, miss Brooks. As you know, our
profession teaches us that we must learn by doing. So
here we go. Everybody rise and try and leave the sack.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Leave the sack Colin. Are you telling me to get
up now? Miss Brooks?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Do I have to dump your bed?
Speaker 2 (02:44):
No, sir, I'm getting up now.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Then setting up exercises, hands on shoulders please, I'll touch
the floor one two three four open the door by sick?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Why don't I pick up some sticks and beat him
over the head with the.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Ay you're nervous, Miss Brooks, overwrought. You should get more arrest.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Oh now we're on the same side. I'll get back
in bed, and you just paid into the woodward.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Not so fast, young woman. First we must practice our
daily hair treatment and on head please now? Then rough
one two three or one two?
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Or?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
How is that? Mister Conklin? Am I doing it right? Oh?
Speaker 1 (03:26):
It feels great, Miss Brooks. I should have eight new
hairs by Monday.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
One two three four one two. Time to get up,
Cannie one two three four one two three?
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Why are you.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Massage and got pillow?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
It's got to have eight new hairs by morning.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Colly Connie, wake up?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Huh oh oh? Has he gone?
Speaker 5 (03:59):
Has who gone?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (04:01):
I'll just forget about missus Davis. It isn't important.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
On the contrary, I think it's intriguing. Has who gone, Please,
missus Davis.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
It was just one of my nightmare Paul. Was it
a bad one?
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Dear?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
It was in technicolor and star do O's good Countlance.
I went half the night rehearsing how to get up
in the morning. That's why I was so nervous when
you woke Merom.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
I know how dreams can affect you, dear, but you
must put.
Speaker 5 (04:26):
Them out of your mind when you wake up.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Why.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
I had some bead dreams last night myself.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
You did.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
Yes, I was.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
In a jungle somewhere, surrounded by lions and tigers. But
if Mike can't man ever walked in now, I wouldn't
jump up on the chandelier.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
You must have better control of your nerves than I have. Yeah,
if we need any new bulbs up there, Missus Davis,
re nervor, where in the world did you come from?
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Oh? I haven't told her about that yet, Connie.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
She's only a kitten, and you'd better have a little
talk with her. She's been running around with a pretty
old crowd.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Please, Connie, don't talk that way in front of her.
The nervous, very high strung.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yes, I know lately that cat's been as jumpy as
a person.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
You forget about nerves and bad dreams and hurrying for
a nice breakfast. I've got a brand new secret recipe for.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
You, A secret recipe, missus Davis.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Yes, if I tell you how I'm making your egg
this morning, will you keep it under your hat?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Well? It may get my hair do a little lucky,
but I'll try.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
I'm making you a delicious watercress and cucumber ome.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Liqu Oh no, I would have started my knifemare if
I all have time to eat breakfast now, missus Davis.
Waler Denton picking me up any minute?
Speaker 3 (06:01):
How come Walter's calling for you today? Your car isn't
in the pishop again?
Speaker 2 (06:06):
No, but I decided not to drive for a while
after picking up a couple of hitchhikers last Saturday.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
But Connie, why should that discourage you from driving?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
I picked them up on my bumper.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Would you lean over toward my side of the car
a little more, please.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Miss Brooks? Why Walter Denton? What have you in mind?
Speaker 5 (06:32):
It's nothing personal. I just want to get a good
look at you in my rear view mirror. Yup, it's
just as I thought.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
You look harassed?
Speaker 5 (06:41):
Harassed and be deviled.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Yeah, but lovely well, thank you, Walter. But Walter, to
what do I owe these backhanded gallantries? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (06:51):
I was afraid you might take exception of my frankness,
but I mean it all for your own good, Miss Brooks.
If I have been less voluble concerning your obvious charms
in the past, no two that I have been less
voluble about the human frailties which you, like all mankind,
have sometimes fallen air to. Except then my plea for
(07:11):
leniency are.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Grant you a full pardon if you'll tell me what
you're talking about. What are you trying to weedle out
of me?
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Walter?
Speaker 4 (07:21):
Well, now that you mention it, there is something you
can do to help both.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Of us out, I thought, So what is it?
Speaker 4 (07:28):
It's like this, You, like several of the other teachers,
will be assigned to the stock room during your free
period to take inventory and give out supplies.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
I see, And what does my good friend Raffles have
in mind? We split a car load of pencils and retire.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Well, no, miss Brooks, my motives are purely altruistic. I
merely want to assist an already over burdened teacher whose
heart and spirit are big and willing, but whose mind
and body may not long stand the strain put upon
it by the forthcoming scholastic hassle.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
If I'm clean, what's your cut in the projected Madison
High School stock room swindle cut?
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Oh, miss Brooks, I'm surprised at you. Surprised and chagrined. Oh,
when I think of your sense of integrity, you're honesty.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Please, Walter, If you polish this apple anymore, it'll be
too slippery to pick up.
Speaker 4 (08:25):
Comes to the point, Walter, Well, whoever helps out in
the stock room gets first choice of the textbooks, right right?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
And you want to help me so you can get
yourself the brand new books, nice and clean, right Ron,
I want the.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
Old ones where the answers already penciled in.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Now, why did I slip out?
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (08:45):
But you can see it my way, can't you.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
Sometimes in the impenetrable forest of education, the path is
easier seen if someone has cleared the underbrush.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
But you're asking for a free ride on the bulldozer.
Don't you think it would be better if you relied
on your own work, Walder? After all, with an old book,
you could be copying somebody else's mistakes, anybody's mistakes.
Speaker 5 (09:09):
Are better than mine. Well, if you put it that, thanks,
miss Brooks, Well here we are.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Thanks for the lift, Walter. I'll run long in now boots.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
Ooh gosh, Miss Brooks, didn't you see that mud puddle?
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Of course I did. I just thought it might be
fun to go waiting.
Speaker 5 (09:28):
Well, can I help you scrape off the mud?
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Well, I haven't time.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
Now.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
If I can just sneak by mister Conklin's office, I'll
clean up when I get to my room.
Speaker 5 (09:35):
But suppose you can't sneak by his office that, Walter.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
I refuse to contemplate. Believe me, if mister Conklin sees
me tripping through the hall on these two lumps of mud,
my name will be Shoes.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Sorry. Eve Arden will continue in just a moment. But first,
perhaps the best knowning on you. Now, while our miss
Brooks is quietly sloshing down the corridor and her muddy pumps,
let's look in on mister Conklin, Madison's beloved principle and
(10:17):
adjust our wavelength to his stream of consciousness. So we
come to the start of another school day, A nice
muggy one at that. As if I needed bad weather
to make me irritable. The teachers in this school have
simply cut Now, who's that tracking her dirty shoes through
our hallowed halls. I think she's going to sneak past
my office, does she? Well, we'll just wait till she's
(10:40):
eating with the door and then.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
You, mister Conklin, How are things in the principal's office?
Speaker 6 (10:57):
Fine?
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Thank you? How are things in the glade? Just take
those shoes off and step in here for a moment,
Miss Brooks. I want to talk to you, yes, sir,
Do you, by any chance remember what I told the
faculty at the meeting yesterday?
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Oh, certainly, mister Conklin. I've been going over it in
my mind all night.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Remember Remember, of course I remember what was discussed at
the meeting.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
The question is do you? Oh indeed I do, mister
Conklin every word. We've got to have more horseplay and
less discipline. I mean, we've got to crack up, crack down.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
I won't have a repetition of last term's lack of discipline.
There's only one way to run the school, and that's.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
In an orderly manner.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Exactly Naturally, I need the cooperation of my staff.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Hen, everybody's got to tow the line.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Yeah, there's no reason why things shouldn't go off like
clockwork one two bound.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
I'm sorry, mister Chaquelin. It's just that I spent a
rather restless night. In fact, we both did. I'm still
a bit upset.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Well, there's nothing like concentrating on one's work to settle
one's nerves.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
When is your first free period? Right after lunch? I
figured i'd get a good rest.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
There, I think not, Miss Brooks. I penciled you in
for the stock room at that time.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Oh well, I have a lot of erasers in there.
Maybe we could rub me out.
Speaker 6 (12:39):
No, I guess.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
We're extremely short of supplies, Miss Brooks. So I want
you to check every requisition very carefully before handing them out.
And if for any reason you have to leave the
stock room, you know what to do.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Praise my hand. You locked the door, that clear, Yes,
mister contr and I locked the door. Well, I'll be
running along one moment, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Haven't you forgotten something?
Speaker 6 (13:07):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Oh yes, rub two three four, Rub Brooks.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Get your fingers out of my hair.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Oh, I thought lunch carrier would never get here. Mister
Boynton oh me either.
Speaker 6 (13:27):
I'm starved. I'll just put our trade down and sit
opposite you there. Now, it's funny how we happened to
bump into each other at the entrance of the cafeteria.
Quite a coincidence.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Yes, it was because I had to run a little.
But I think it's nice to have someone take you
to lunch, don't you, Yes.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
I do.
Speaker 6 (13:44):
Miss Brooks. Was glad for you to ask me, which
mind passing my soup over?
Speaker 5 (13:50):
Please?
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Here you are, mister Boydon.
Speaker 6 (13:52):
Nothing like a good hot plate of soup to warm
me up. I said, that laboratory of mine's like an igno.
Even my hands are freezing.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Let's feel them. Hey, they are cold.
Speaker 6 (14:02):
Yours are nice and warm.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
How'd they get that way?
Speaker 2 (14:04):
I had them in your suit. You know, it's a
shame we don't have a better heating system in this school,
especially in the biology lab with all those little mice
and rabbits and students.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
You're right.
Speaker 6 (14:22):
I was talking to mister Jensen, the janitor, about it,
and he's promised to speak to mister Compton and get
him to inspect the system himself. You see, I have
a lot of electrical appliances in the lab.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Now, but none of them give off much heat.
Speaker 6 (14:33):
I've got to have another outlet if I'm to attach
any other heres me, mister Boyton.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Hi a, Miss Brooks, Hello Walter. Now we'd better be
getting down to the stock room. I want you to
get nervous when the requisitions start pouring in or the books.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
For the answers in them start pouring out. Well, all right, water,
we might as well get going, will you excuse me,
mister Barton?
Speaker 6 (14:50):
For sure, Miss Brooks. And even though you ask me
to lunch, I don't want you to worry.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
About the check.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Oh well, that's very nice of me.
Speaker 6 (14:56):
I'll pay my own, Miss Brooks. You just take care
of yours.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
Well, the worst part of the supply rush is over,
Miss Brooks. And now we can sort of take inventory
of the surplus stuff.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
That we can use, and that is you can use
for your class, Like what Walter?
Speaker 4 (15:15):
Old paper pencils, staplers, they bring forty to fifty cents
on the outside. Can I really need one for my schoolwork?
Speaker 5 (15:23):
And then there our ink Wells paper clips.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
If this stock room is only two doors from your room,
Miss Brooks, why don't I get anumful of stuff and
stash it away under your desk.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Right now, Walter, I am an English teacher, not a friend.
There no such thing as surplus in the school system.
Everything has to be requisitioned. Wait a minute, what's this that?
Speaker 5 (15:46):
Well, that's an electric heater, miss Brooks, an electric heater.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
M but that's just what mister boy needs for his lab.
I know what, I'll hook it up right now and
surprise it.
Speaker 5 (15:55):
What about a requisition, Walter?
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Can I trust you?
Speaker 4 (15:58):
Well?
Speaker 5 (15:58):
You know you chant, miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Of and I do so. If you keep quiet about
this heater, I'll get you a requisition for a brand
new stapler.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
Gee, that's swell of you, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
Now I can take this one out of the lining
of my jacket.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Well, Harriet, where's the heater I sent you for?
Speaker 3 (16:20):
He wasn't there, Daddy helloked all over the stock room,
but there wasn't a.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Trace of it.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Did you ask missus Brooks about it?
Speaker 5 (16:25):
Miss Brooks wasn't there.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Nobody was there and the door was open. No wonder
my heater is missing. I distinctly told her, Now, what
come in?
Speaker 7 (16:34):
Excuse me, mister Conkland, but I've got to talk to
you right away.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Hello, mister gentle.
Speaker 5 (16:39):
Oh, Harriet, I better be going now, Daddy.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
I've got a class in a few minutes.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
All right, Harriet, Now what is it? Jenson, I'm rather
busy right now.
Speaker 7 (16:45):
Oh, this is important, sir, as cus TONI into the building.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
I feel it's my.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Duty, you feel what is your duty.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
To tell you?
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Sir?
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Don't tell me what?
Speaker 7 (16:54):
Please, mister Conkland, don't shout. That's one of the reasons.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
That's one of the re for what for your high
blood pressure?
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Now when I was your age? Never mind that?
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Now, what do you want to see me about?
Speaker 7 (17:08):
A whileological laboratory? The furnace vent isn't large enough to
heat that big room.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
It's so cold in there.
Speaker 7 (17:14):
Mister Boynton's had to put ear muffs on the rabbits.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
We've got to build another outlet. Outlets cost money, Jensen.
We'll requisition another heater. Meanwhile, I've got to find that
you gotta put ear muffs on rabbits.
Speaker 7 (17:27):
Brother, you're in trouble. If an electric heater is hooked
onto the present wiring setup, it can cause a short.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Will tell me about it another time.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
I'm even worse than a short, mister Cochland.
Speaker 7 (17:38):
It might start a fire.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
I don't like to censure you, mister Jensen, but.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
You are an alarmist.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Yes, sir, I'm going down to that stock room and
wait in back of it for miss Brooks to return.
I'll teach her to leave doors open.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
I'm glad we set up the heater in here before
mister Boynton came back. Walder, Yeah, it's.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
Sure, be surprised. I bet come on, miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Oh, here's the next class.
Speaker 5 (18:10):
I've got you in English this period.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
That's a coincidence, Walder, I've got you too. Oh, Walter,
here's the stock room and the door is still ajar.
Didn't you lock it when we left?
Speaker 4 (18:20):
No?
Speaker 2 (18:20):
I thought you did give me that key.
Speaker 6 (18:24):
There.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Mister Conklin would have a fit if he found this
door open. All right, class, your next question is as follows.
In The Mill on the Floss, George Elliot writes about
a gentleman who is often compared with a gentleman in
Silas Marner. Who is that gentleman?
Speaker 5 (18:45):
Are you talking about a fictional gentleman?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
For George Eliot himself himself, Walter, it happens that she
wasn't exactly a gentleman.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
So what he was a durned good writer.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Next question, goodness, that heating system is really noisy.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
Oh it's coming out of the event here.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
What quiet a minute? Let me listen.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
O sure, what time's the brake set for?
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Who are you?
Speaker 5 (19:29):
It sounds like daddy, daddy? Can you hear up? He
must be stuck in.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
The furnace, nansense, Walter. He was going to inspect the
heating system. He's probably just stuck in a pipe somewhere,
in a pipe somewhere. Oh, I'll go call the fire department. Harriet,
you stay here and chat with your father. Why, mister Boynton,
(20:02):
what made you ring the gong for a fire drill?
Speaker 6 (20:04):
I heard you calling a fire department, and oh, but.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
That's not for a fire. Mister Konquin's stuck in a
pipe somewhere, and I just called the department to get
him out.
Speaker 6 (20:12):
Well, most of the kids are out in the street
by now. I better go keep him in line. A
little extra badness won't hurt anything. Stuck in a pipe.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Oh, I better get back to my own room.
Speaker 5 (20:21):
Now.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Oh, here come the fireman.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
They don't here.
Speaker 5 (20:26):
We are waste a fire all right?
Speaker 2 (20:28):
This way? Chee? Come on man, there isn't any fire really,
you see, it's just that somebody's caught in a pipe.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Caught in a pipe for this, I left a hand
with one hundred ages and a double pe knuckle in it.
Speaker 5 (20:43):
Oh, please do something.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
My daddy stuck somewhere.
Speaker 5 (20:45):
You gotta get him out.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Oh where is he? Well, he was coming in over
this bend here very clearly.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Oh, let's get up this thing with our pics. Man.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
Oh, my water water.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Waller.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
There's enough confusion around here as it is. Don't tell
mister Boynton to send all the children home immediately? How
came it?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Brooks?
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Keep going, man, We've got to get him out of
that type.
Speaker 5 (21:12):
We want to romost of them.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Mark, how what's that that seems to be coming from
the stock room?
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Say it isn't here.
Speaker 5 (21:21):
Let' see now that miss Brooks can be back to Keith.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Oh yeah, here it is, Walter.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Then can I lay this crime at your door?
Speaker 5 (21:30):
No, sir, two doors down.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
To go home with the others.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Well, we'll find out about this. What's going on here
with bok conference?
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Who is twen? Is this it all later? Right now,
we've got to get mister Conklin out of this.
Speaker 8 (21:51):
Type mister conklin an he take from mister save hello, Harriet,
or you mean stopped?
Speaker 1 (22:01):
The principal's got himself stuck and we gotta get the
knuckle head out. For your information, I'm the knucklehead who's stuck.
I mean, I'm the principal of this school.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Make the complain. How did you get out of the pipe?
I was never in the pipe. But if we heard you,
you yell get me out of here?
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Yeah, what's the idea? Yell and get me out of here?
If you're not stuck in here? I was locked in
the stock room. Obviously, this heat event connects with the
men in there, and as any idiot could figure out, well,
how does any idiot get himself locked in the stock room?
That old be all of that. I've had enough abuse
from the fire department.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Yes, we've had enough abuse from the fire department.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Quiet, miss Brooks. Now, then, fireman, please remove your pickaxe
from the school woodwork.
Speaker 6 (22:49):
Well you needn't get.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
So happy, after all, it only makes a little hole here.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
I'll take it out now what we needed the larger classrooms.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Now, then, Miss Brooks, I want some explanations, and I
want them fast.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Who locked me in? The store.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Where are all the students who called the fire department?
And that's what I'd like to know. Don't you realize
that these pulse alarms cost the city money? Now we've
got to pack.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
All of our stuff.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
And where are you firm and standing around for?
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Why don't you do something relaxed, mister boy and mister
Conklin's out now there's nothing left to do, nothing.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Left to do with my lambers on fire.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
That's more like a cop.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Well, miss Brooks. That leaves just you and me, You
and me? And one more question?
Speaker 2 (24:00):
What's that mister compan.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Did you happen to run across an electric eater in
the stock room?
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Yes? I did?
Speaker 1 (24:08):
And did you happen to connect it anywhere like mister
Boynton's laboratory for instance?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Yes? I did.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Ah funny thing about that. I was told by mister
Jensen just this morning that another electrical appliance on that
circuit would cause a fire. Right now, you've got to
be punished, Miss Brooks. Can you hear me?
Speaker 8 (24:35):
You've got to be brod.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Where are you going, miss Brooks to take a cold shower?
Speaker 2 (24:46):
This is the longest nightmare I've ever had.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Returns in just a moment. But first, hello there, this
is Delly good neighbors. And now once again, here is
our miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Well, it wasn't much of a fire, and as soon
as they put it out, one of the firemen got
a hook and ladder climbed up and brought mister Conklin's
blood pressure down. When he was slightly more rational, he
called me into his office again, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Since mister Boyndon failed to remind me about the electric
hazard in the biology laboratory, I have decided that he
is almost as guilty as you are. Oh, mister Conran, you,
miss Brooks, will stay after school and help mister Boynton
clean up the debris those firemen left behind. I don't
care to keep you both here all evening, mister.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
Conklin, is that my punishment for starting the fire exactly
got a match? Our miss?
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Book, starring Eve Bardon, is produced by Larry Byrne, written
and directed by Al Lewis, with music by Wilbur Hatch.
Mister Conklin was played by Gail Gordon. Others in tonight's
cast were Jane Morgan, Dick Crenna, Gloria McMillan, Arthur Q.
Bryan and Frank Nelson be with us again next week
at the same time for another comedy episode of Our
(26:25):
Miss Brook. This is Jimmy Matthew speaking
For your entertainment and pleasure. Here is our Miss Brooks,
Darring Eve Arden. Our Miss Brooks teaches English at Madison
High School, and like many other teachers, started last Monday.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
And like many other teachers, I attended a faculty meeting
Monday afternoon. Here, our beloved Principle osgood Conklin gave me
my semiannual pat on the back. Then I picked myself
up and walked back across the room, and he instituted
his new crackdown plan, more discipline, less horseplay. Everybody told
(00:44):
the line run the school in orderly manner. After this
mirth provoking monologue, he chewed up a little furniture and
stalked out, Well, maybe it was the faculty meeting, or
then again, maybe it was the watercress and cucumber sandwich
I had before retired. At any rate, I remember lying
in bed Monday night and dozing off when suddenly I
(01:07):
seem to be awakened by a loud pounding at my door.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
What is it?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Who's there?
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Did?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I ask, good Conkland? You are, beloved Principle. I'm coming in,
mister Conkland.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Is anything wrong wrong?
Speaker 1 (01:22):
There's plenty wrong. We've got to crack down, more discipline,
let's horse play, everybody told the line, run the school
in an orderly manner with mister Conklin.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Is this your idea of less horse play? I was
fast asleep all and.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I hope I'm not disturbing you.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
I'll go right on sleeping.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Good, Miss Brooks, I have got to talk to you.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Well, pull up at cucumber sand Rich and sit down.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Mister Conklin, you're biting the arm of my chair.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Yeah so, I am sorry, but you know how I
get when i'm upset. Now, then, miss Brooks, we've got
to have more discipline, to have discipline. Got to have discipline, got.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
To have discipline.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
You hear me, Miss Brooks, I just heard four of you.
You are right, there are four of me. More discipline, Concline,
less horseplay, Conkline told the line. Conkline, and run the
school in an orderly manner. Conklin, I wish I could
add just one more, which one rest in peace?
Speaker 5 (02:23):
Conclin.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Enough of these pleasantries, miss Brooks. As you know, our
profession teaches us that we must learn by doing. So
here we go. Everybody rise and try and leave the sack.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Leave the sack Colin. Are you telling me to get
up now? Miss Brooks?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Do I have to dump your bed?
Speaker 2 (02:44):
No, sir, I'm getting up now.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Then setting up exercises, hands on shoulders please, I'll touch
the floor one two three four open the door by sick?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Why don't I pick up some sticks and beat him
over the head with the.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Ay you're nervous, Miss Brooks, overwrought. You should get more arrest.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Oh now we're on the same side. I'll get back
in bed, and you just paid into the woodward.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Not so fast, young woman. First we must practice our
daily hair treatment and on head please now? Then rough
one two three or one two?
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Or?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
How is that? Mister Conklin? Am I doing it right? Oh?
Speaker 1 (03:26):
It feels great, Miss Brooks. I should have eight new
hairs by Monday.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
One two three four one two. Time to get up,
Cannie one two three four one two three?
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Why are you.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Massage and got pillow?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
It's got to have eight new hairs by morning.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Colly Connie, wake up?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Huh oh oh? Has he gone?
Speaker 5 (03:59):
Has who gone?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (04:01):
I'll just forget about missus Davis. It isn't important.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
On the contrary, I think it's intriguing. Has who gone, Please,
missus Davis.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
It was just one of my nightmare Paul. Was it
a bad one?
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Dear?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
It was in technicolor and star do O's good Countlance.
I went half the night rehearsing how to get up
in the morning. That's why I was so nervous when
you woke Merom.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
I know how dreams can affect you, dear, but you
must put.
Speaker 5 (04:26):
Them out of your mind when you wake up.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Why.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
I had some bead dreams last night myself.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
You did.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
Yes, I was.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
In a jungle somewhere, surrounded by lions and tigers. But
if Mike can't man ever walked in now, I wouldn't
jump up on the chandelier.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
You must have better control of your nerves than I have. Yeah,
if we need any new bulbs up there, Missus Davis,
re nervor, where in the world did you come from?
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Oh? I haven't told her about that yet, Connie.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
She's only a kitten, and you'd better have a little
talk with her. She's been running around with a pretty
old crowd.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Please, Connie, don't talk that way in front of her.
The nervous, very high strung.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yes, I know lately that cat's been as jumpy as
a person.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
You forget about nerves and bad dreams and hurrying for
a nice breakfast. I've got a brand new secret recipe for.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
You, A secret recipe, missus Davis.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Yes, if I tell you how I'm making your egg
this morning, will you keep it under your hat?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Well? It may get my hair do a little lucky,
but I'll try.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
I'm making you a delicious watercress and cucumber ome.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Liqu Oh no, I would have started my knifemare if
I all have time to eat breakfast now, missus Davis.
Waler Denton picking me up any minute?
Speaker 3 (06:01):
How come Walter's calling for you today? Your car isn't
in the pishop again?
Speaker 2 (06:06):
No, but I decided not to drive for a while
after picking up a couple of hitchhikers last Saturday.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
But Connie, why should that discourage you from driving?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
I picked them up on my bumper.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Would you lean over toward my side of the car
a little more, please.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Miss Brooks? Why Walter Denton? What have you in mind?
Speaker 5 (06:32):
It's nothing personal. I just want to get a good
look at you in my rear view mirror. Yup, it's
just as I thought.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
You look harassed?
Speaker 5 (06:41):
Harassed and be deviled.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Yeah, but lovely well, thank you, Walter. But Walter, to
what do I owe these backhanded gallantries? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (06:51):
I was afraid you might take exception of my frankness,
but I mean it all for your own good, Miss Brooks.
If I have been less voluble concerning your obvious charms
in the past, no two that I have been less
voluble about the human frailties which you, like all mankind,
have sometimes fallen air to. Except then my plea for
(07:11):
leniency are.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Grant you a full pardon if you'll tell me what
you're talking about. What are you trying to weedle out
of me?
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Walter?
Speaker 4 (07:21):
Well, now that you mention it, there is something you
can do to help both.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Of us out, I thought, So what is it?
Speaker 4 (07:28):
It's like this, You, like several of the other teachers,
will be assigned to the stock room during your free
period to take inventory and give out supplies.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
I see, And what does my good friend Raffles have
in mind? We split a car load of pencils and retire.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Well, no, miss Brooks, my motives are purely altruistic. I
merely want to assist an already over burdened teacher whose
heart and spirit are big and willing, but whose mind
and body may not long stand the strain put upon
it by the forthcoming scholastic hassle.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
If I'm clean, what's your cut in the projected Madison
High School stock room swindle cut?
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Oh, miss Brooks, I'm surprised at you. Surprised and chagrined. Oh,
when I think of your sense of integrity, you're honesty.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Please, Walter, If you polish this apple anymore, it'll be
too slippery to pick up.
Speaker 4 (08:25):
Comes to the point, Walter, Well, whoever helps out in
the stock room gets first choice of the textbooks, right right?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
And you want to help me so you can get
yourself the brand new books, nice and clean, right Ron,
I want the.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
Old ones where the answers already penciled in.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Now, why did I slip out?
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (08:45):
But you can see it my way, can't you.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
Sometimes in the impenetrable forest of education, the path is
easier seen if someone has cleared the underbrush.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
But you're asking for a free ride on the bulldozer.
Don't you think it would be better if you relied
on your own work, Walder? After all, with an old book,
you could be copying somebody else's mistakes, anybody's mistakes.
Speaker 5 (09:09):
Are better than mine. Well, if you put it that, thanks,
miss Brooks, Well here we are.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Thanks for the lift, Walter. I'll run long in now boots.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
Ooh gosh, Miss Brooks, didn't you see that mud puddle?
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Of course I did. I just thought it might be
fun to go waiting.
Speaker 5 (09:28):
Well, can I help you scrape off the mud?
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Well, I haven't time.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
Now.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
If I can just sneak by mister Conklin's office, I'll
clean up when I get to my room.
Speaker 5 (09:35):
But suppose you can't sneak by his office that, Walter.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
I refuse to contemplate. Believe me, if mister Conklin sees
me tripping through the hall on these two lumps of mud,
my name will be Shoes.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Sorry. Eve Arden will continue in just a moment. But first,
perhaps the best knowning on you. Now, while our miss
Brooks is quietly sloshing down the corridor and her muddy pumps,
let's look in on mister Conklin, Madison's beloved principle and
(10:17):
adjust our wavelength to his stream of consciousness. So we
come to the start of another school day, A nice
muggy one at that. As if I needed bad weather
to make me irritable. The teachers in this school have
simply cut Now, who's that tracking her dirty shoes through
our hallowed halls. I think she's going to sneak past
my office, does she? Well, we'll just wait till she's
(10:40):
eating with the door and then.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
You, mister Conklin, How are things in the principal's office?
Speaker 6 (10:57):
Fine?
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Thank you? How are things in the glade? Just take
those shoes off and step in here for a moment,
Miss Brooks. I want to talk to you, yes, sir,
Do you, by any chance remember what I told the
faculty at the meeting yesterday?
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Oh, certainly, mister Conklin. I've been going over it in
my mind all night.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Remember Remember, of course I remember what was discussed at
the meeting.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
The question is do you? Oh indeed I do, mister
Conklin every word. We've got to have more horseplay and
less discipline. I mean, we've got to crack up, crack down.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
I won't have a repetition of last term's lack of discipline.
There's only one way to run the school, and that's.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
In an orderly manner.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Exactly Naturally, I need the cooperation of my staff.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Hen, everybody's got to tow the line.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Yeah, there's no reason why things shouldn't go off like
clockwork one two bound.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
I'm sorry, mister Chaquelin. It's just that I spent a
rather restless night. In fact, we both did. I'm still
a bit upset.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Well, there's nothing like concentrating on one's work to settle
one's nerves.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
When is your first free period? Right after lunch? I
figured i'd get a good rest.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
There, I think not, Miss Brooks. I penciled you in
for the stock room at that time.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Oh well, I have a lot of erasers in there.
Maybe we could rub me out.
Speaker 6 (12:39):
No, I guess.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
We're extremely short of supplies, Miss Brooks. So I want
you to check every requisition very carefully before handing them out.
And if for any reason you have to leave the
stock room, you know what to do.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Praise my hand. You locked the door, that clear, Yes,
mister contr and I locked the door. Well, I'll be
running along one moment, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Haven't you forgotten something?
Speaker 6 (13:07):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Oh yes, rub two three four, Rub Brooks.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Get your fingers out of my hair.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Oh, I thought lunch carrier would never get here. Mister
Boynton oh me either.
Speaker 6 (13:27):
I'm starved. I'll just put our trade down and sit
opposite you there. Now, it's funny how we happened to
bump into each other at the entrance of the cafeteria.
Quite a coincidence.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Yes, it was because I had to run a little.
But I think it's nice to have someone take you
to lunch, don't you, Yes.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
I do.
Speaker 6 (13:44):
Miss Brooks. Was glad for you to ask me, which
mind passing my soup over?
Speaker 5 (13:50):
Please?
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Here you are, mister Boydon.
Speaker 6 (13:52):
Nothing like a good hot plate of soup to warm
me up. I said, that laboratory of mine's like an igno.
Even my hands are freezing.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Let's feel them. Hey, they are cold.
Speaker 6 (14:02):
Yours are nice and warm.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
How'd they get that way?
Speaker 2 (14:04):
I had them in your suit. You know, it's a
shame we don't have a better heating system in this school,
especially in the biology lab with all those little mice
and rabbits and students.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
You're right.
Speaker 6 (14:22):
I was talking to mister Jensen, the janitor, about it,
and he's promised to speak to mister Compton and get
him to inspect the system himself. You see, I have
a lot of electrical appliances in the lab.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Now, but none of them give off much heat.
Speaker 6 (14:33):
I've got to have another outlet if I'm to attach
any other heres me, mister Boyton.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Hi a, Miss Brooks, Hello Walter. Now we'd better be
getting down to the stock room. I want you to
get nervous when the requisitions start pouring in or the books.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
For the answers in them start pouring out. Well, all right, water,
we might as well get going, will you excuse me,
mister Barton?
Speaker 6 (14:50):
For sure, Miss Brooks. And even though you ask me
to lunch, I don't want you to worry.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
About the check.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Oh well, that's very nice of me.
Speaker 6 (14:56):
I'll pay my own, Miss Brooks. You just take care
of yours.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
Well, the worst part of the supply rush is over,
Miss Brooks. And now we can sort of take inventory
of the surplus stuff.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
That we can use, and that is you can use
for your class, Like what Walter?
Speaker 4 (15:15):
Old paper pencils, staplers, they bring forty to fifty cents
on the outside. Can I really need one for my schoolwork?
Speaker 5 (15:23):
And then there our ink Wells paper clips.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
If this stock room is only two doors from your room,
Miss Brooks, why don't I get anumful of stuff and
stash it away under your desk.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Right now, Walter, I am an English teacher, not a friend.
There no such thing as surplus in the school system.
Everything has to be requisitioned. Wait a minute, what's this that?
Speaker 5 (15:46):
Well, that's an electric heater, miss Brooks, an electric heater.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
M but that's just what mister boy needs for his lab.
I know what, I'll hook it up right now and
surprise it.
Speaker 5 (15:55):
What about a requisition, Walter?
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Can I trust you?
Speaker 4 (15:58):
Well?
Speaker 5 (15:58):
You know you chant, miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Of and I do so. If you keep quiet about
this heater, I'll get you a requisition for a brand
new stapler.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
Gee, that's swell of you, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
Now I can take this one out of the lining
of my jacket.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Well, Harriet, where's the heater I sent you for?
Speaker 3 (16:20):
He wasn't there, Daddy helloked all over the stock room,
but there wasn't a.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Trace of it.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Did you ask missus Brooks about it?
Speaker 5 (16:25):
Miss Brooks wasn't there.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Nobody was there and the door was open. No wonder
my heater is missing. I distinctly told her, Now, what
come in?
Speaker 7 (16:34):
Excuse me, mister Conkland, but I've got to talk to
you right away.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Hello, mister gentle.
Speaker 5 (16:39):
Oh, Harriet, I better be going now, Daddy.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
I've got a class in a few minutes.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
All right, Harriet, Now what is it? Jenson, I'm rather
busy right now.
Speaker 7 (16:45):
Oh, this is important, sir, as cus TONI into the building.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
I feel it's my.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Duty, you feel what is your duty.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
To tell you?
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Sir?
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Don't tell me what?
Speaker 7 (16:54):
Please, mister Conkland, don't shout. That's one of the reasons.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
That's one of the re for what for your high
blood pressure?
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Now when I was your age? Never mind that?
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Now, what do you want to see me about?
Speaker 7 (17:08):
A whileological laboratory? The furnace vent isn't large enough to
heat that big room.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
It's so cold in there.
Speaker 7 (17:14):
Mister Boynton's had to put ear muffs on the rabbits.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
We've got to build another outlet. Outlets cost money, Jensen.
We'll requisition another heater. Meanwhile, I've got to find that
you gotta put ear muffs on rabbits.
Speaker 7 (17:27):
Brother, you're in trouble. If an electric heater is hooked
onto the present wiring setup, it can cause a short.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Will tell me about it another time.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
I'm even worse than a short, mister Cochland.
Speaker 7 (17:38):
It might start a fire.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
I don't like to censure you, mister Jensen, but.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
You are an alarmist.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Yes, sir, I'm going down to that stock room and
wait in back of it for miss Brooks to return.
I'll teach her to leave doors open.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
I'm glad we set up the heater in here before
mister Boynton came back. Walder, Yeah, it's.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
Sure, be surprised. I bet come on, miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Oh, here's the next class.
Speaker 5 (18:10):
I've got you in English this period.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
That's a coincidence, Walder, I've got you too. Oh, Walter,
here's the stock room and the door is still ajar.
Didn't you lock it when we left?
Speaker 4 (18:20):
No?
Speaker 2 (18:20):
I thought you did give me that key.
Speaker 6 (18:24):
There.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Mister Conklin would have a fit if he found this
door open. All right, class, your next question is as follows.
In The Mill on the Floss, George Elliot writes about
a gentleman who is often compared with a gentleman in
Silas Marner. Who is that gentleman?
Speaker 5 (18:45):
Are you talking about a fictional gentleman?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
For George Eliot himself himself, Walter, it happens that she
wasn't exactly a gentleman.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
So what he was a durned good writer.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Next question, goodness, that heating system is really noisy.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
Oh it's coming out of the event here.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
What quiet a minute? Let me listen.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
O sure, what time's the brake set for?
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Who are you?
Speaker 5 (19:29):
It sounds like daddy, daddy? Can you hear up? He
must be stuck in.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
The furnace, nansense, Walter. He was going to inspect the
heating system. He's probably just stuck in a pipe somewhere,
in a pipe somewhere. Oh, I'll go call the fire department. Harriet,
you stay here and chat with your father. Why, mister Boynton,
(20:02):
what made you ring the gong for a fire drill?
Speaker 6 (20:04):
I heard you calling a fire department, and oh, but.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
That's not for a fire. Mister Konquin's stuck in a
pipe somewhere, and I just called the department to get
him out.
Speaker 6 (20:12):
Well, most of the kids are out in the street
by now. I better go keep him in line. A
little extra badness won't hurt anything. Stuck in a pipe.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Oh, I better get back to my own room.
Speaker 5 (20:21):
Now.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Oh, here come the fireman.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
They don't here.
Speaker 5 (20:26):
We are waste a fire all right?
Speaker 2 (20:28):
This way? Chee? Come on man, there isn't any fire really,
you see, it's just that somebody's caught in a pipe.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Caught in a pipe for this, I left a hand
with one hundred ages and a double pe knuckle in it.
Speaker 5 (20:43):
Oh, please do something.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
My daddy stuck somewhere.
Speaker 5 (20:45):
You gotta get him out.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Oh where is he? Well, he was coming in over
this bend here very clearly.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Oh, let's get up this thing with our pics. Man.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
Oh, my water water.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Waller.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
There's enough confusion around here as it is. Don't tell
mister Boynton to send all the children home immediately? How
came it?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Brooks?
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Keep going, man, We've got to get him out of
that type.
Speaker 5 (21:12):
We want to romost of them.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Mark, how what's that that seems to be coming from
the stock room?
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Say it isn't here.
Speaker 5 (21:21):
Let' see now that miss Brooks can be back to Keith.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Oh yeah, here it is, Walter.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Then can I lay this crime at your door?
Speaker 5 (21:30):
No, sir, two doors down.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
To go home with the others.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Well, we'll find out about this. What's going on here
with bok conference?
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Who is twen? Is this it all later? Right now,
we've got to get mister Conklin out of this.
Speaker 8 (21:51):
Type mister conklin an he take from mister save hello, Harriet,
or you mean stopped?
Speaker 1 (22:01):
The principal's got himself stuck and we gotta get the
knuckle head out. For your information, I'm the knucklehead who's stuck.
I mean, I'm the principal of this school.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Make the complain. How did you get out of the pipe?
I was never in the pipe. But if we heard you,
you yell get me out of here?
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Yeah, what's the idea? Yell and get me out of here?
If you're not stuck in here? I was locked in
the stock room. Obviously, this heat event connects with the
men in there, and as any idiot could figure out, well,
how does any idiot get himself locked in the stock room?
That old be all of that. I've had enough abuse
from the fire department.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Yes, we've had enough abuse from the fire department.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Quiet, miss Brooks. Now, then, fireman, please remove your pickaxe
from the school woodwork.
Speaker 6 (22:49):
Well you needn't get.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
So happy, after all, it only makes a little hole here.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
I'll take it out now what we needed the larger classrooms.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Now, then, Miss Brooks, I want some explanations, and I
want them fast.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Who locked me in? The store.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Where are all the students who called the fire department?
And that's what I'd like to know. Don't you realize
that these pulse alarms cost the city money? Now we've
got to pack.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
All of our stuff.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
And where are you firm and standing around for?
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Why don't you do something relaxed, mister boy and mister
Conklin's out now there's nothing left to do, nothing.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Left to do with my lambers on fire.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
That's more like a cop.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Well, miss Brooks. That leaves just you and me, You
and me? And one more question?
Speaker 2 (24:00):
What's that mister compan.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Did you happen to run across an electric eater in
the stock room?
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Yes? I did?
Speaker 1 (24:08):
And did you happen to connect it anywhere like mister
Boynton's laboratory for instance?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Yes? I did.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Ah funny thing about that. I was told by mister
Jensen just this morning that another electrical appliance on that
circuit would cause a fire. Right now, you've got to
be punished, Miss Brooks. Can you hear me?
Speaker 8 (24:35):
You've got to be brod.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Where are you going, miss Brooks to take a cold shower?
Speaker 2 (24:46):
This is the longest nightmare I've ever had.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Returns in just a moment. But first, hello there, this
is Delly good neighbors. And now once again, here is
our miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Well, it wasn't much of a fire, and as soon
as they put it out, one of the firemen got
a hook and ladder climbed up and brought mister Conklin's
blood pressure down. When he was slightly more rational, he
called me into his office again, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Since mister Boyndon failed to remind me about the electric
hazard in the biology laboratory, I have decided that he
is almost as guilty as you are. Oh, mister Conran, you,
miss Brooks, will stay after school and help mister Boynton
clean up the debris those firemen left behind. I don't
care to keep you both here all evening, mister.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
Conklin, is that my punishment for starting the fire exactly
got a match? Our miss?
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Book, starring Eve Bardon, is produced by Larry Byrne, written
and directed by Al Lewis, with music by Wilbur Hatch.
Mister Conklin was played by Gail Gordon. Others in tonight's
cast were Jane Morgan, Dick Crenna, Gloria McMillan, Arthur Q.
Bryan and Frank Nelson be with us again next week
at the same time for another comedy episode of Our
(26:25):
Miss Brook. This is Jimmy Matthew speaking
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