August 16, 2025 • 29 mins
A sitcom following the life of a witty high school English teacher and her students, balancing educational chaos with clever humor. It’s beloved for its sharp writing and charm.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Colgate Dental cream to clean your breath while you clean
your teeth and help stop tooth decay and lust. Your
cream shampoo for soft, glamorous, caressible hair. Bring you Our
Miss Brooks, Darring Eve Arden.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
It's time once again for another comedy episode of Our
Miss Brooks, written by al lewis Well. Many of the
nation's schools commence a new semester on Monday, and Madison
High School, where our Miss Brooks teaches English, as one
of them. Although the others usually dispense with classes on
the last day or two of the old term, Madison
did not.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
No.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
Indeed, our beloved Principle Osgod Conklin saw to that. In fact,
he was quite chagrined when a cloudburst last Friday kept
almost all of the student body at home. Even members
of the faculty didn't get down except a handful of teachers.
Speaker 5 (00:54):
Me.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
Since mister Conklin didn't show up until quite late, I
took it upon myself to descismissed the few soap pupils
who were floating around the halls. Saturday morning, at breakfast,
I discussed the situation with my landlady, and.
Speaker 6 (01:08):
What did mister Conklin say when you told him you
had canceled school for the day, Connie, he didn't.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
Say a word, Missus Davis, until he came down off
the ceiling. Then he accused me of usurping his function
as a principle and throwing a monkey wrench into his
plan for getting the jump on the other schools. What
sort of plan did he have, Connie, Well, he felt
that schedules should be revised and classes a sign before
(01:33):
the first day of the new semester. Hence we have
all been invited to appear at school today.
Speaker 7 (01:39):
But this is Saturday, Connie.
Speaker 6 (01:41):
Mister Conklin hasn't the authority to make anybody come to school.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
He doesn't make anybody come. He's put it on a
voluntary basis for both the student body and the faculty.
It's strictly optional. Really, of course, come or die.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
I can't understand some of you teachers, Connie. Why do
you let mister Conkland drive you this way? What are
you all a bunch of geese?
Speaker 4 (02:06):
I don't know about the others, but don't be surprised
if some morning you find a feather by my empty bed,
you see, Missus Davis, I've been in so much trouble
with mister Conklin during the past term. I don't dare
start the new one off on the wrong foot. Oh
that's probably Walter Denton. He's giving dow down to school.
Speaker 8 (02:23):
Come in, Walter.
Speaker 7 (02:24):
It certainly is nice of Walter to call for you
this morning.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
Yes, it is, considering that I made it quite clear
to him that he's driving me was strictly optional. Really,
of course, be here or flunk.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Him, missus Davis, and you most revered and admired of
all local educators.
Speaker 8 (02:42):
I bowed deeply from the waist.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
Thank you, and get your head out of the milk pitcher.
Sit down, Walter. I'll pour you a glass.
Speaker 8 (02:53):
Oh thanks.
Speaker 7 (02:54):
Would you like something else, Walter?
Speaker 4 (02:56):
What have you got?
Speaker 9 (02:57):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (02:58):
Cereal eggs, sauce, beat bacon toes and that'll be fine.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Obviously you haven't had anything to eat since breakfast.
Speaker 8 (03:08):
Oh that's right, miss Brooks, over an hour ago.
Speaker 6 (03:11):
A growing boy should eat a lot, especially if you
want to grow up and be big and strong like
hop Along Cassidy.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
Hop Along Cassidy Ate like Walter, he'd never make it
to the saddle.
Speaker 8 (03:27):
That's a good one.
Speaker 7 (03:34):
I'll go fix a nice plate for you.
Speaker 8 (03:36):
Walter.
Speaker 7 (03:37):
Oh, how do you take your eggs?
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Four in the mouth and six intravenously?
Speaker 8 (03:44):
Gosh, miss Brooks, you make me sound like a pig.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Just scramble a few with some bacon and sausages, missus Davis.
Speaker 8 (03:50):
Please all right, dear, well, this is great.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
What better way to start off the day than a
resounding second breakfast with my favorite school teacher for.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
A kid who's going to school on Saturday. You sound
pretty chipper, Walder.
Speaker 8 (04:02):
Ah, but that's where you're wrong, Miss Brooks. I'm not
going to school today. None of the students are.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
We held a mass meeting last night and decided that
the only course to pursue was open rebellion.
Speaker 8 (04:13):
What the issues are, clear, Miss Brooks. If we let
old Marblehead haul us into school today.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
Addressed a minute, wald, I won't have you referring to
the principle of our school in such a disrespectful manner.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Sorry, miss Brooks, but don't you see if we submit
to his demand that we attend school on Saturday, what's
to prevent him from dragging us down on.
Speaker 8 (04:33):
Sunday or even holidays?
Speaker 4 (04:35):
Oh?
Speaker 8 (04:35):
I can just picture it.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Christmas weekend comes, everybody's off having fun, but our principal
decrees that we must spend every day of our vacation
in school.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
Old Marblehead, wouldn't dare.
Speaker 8 (04:51):
Don't juring, miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Even though we all recognize this for the tyranny that
it is, it is a short lived tyranny. Our spokesman
elected you unanimously last night's meeting.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Old see to that spokesman, whom did you elect?
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Let me be the first to congratulate you. What more
logical choice may I add to slay the tyrant?
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Now wait a second, Walter, it just happens that I
didn't renew my card in the tyrant Slayers Union. I'm
in enough hot water now for canceling school. Yesterday, well
that was different.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
It was an emergency a plus which nobody was there anyway.
But don't worry about it. Now we can plan our
campaign on the way down to school.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
I thought you said you weren't going.
Speaker 8 (05:33):
Of course I'm going. I'm in charge of the picket
line as one of the organizers of this rebellion.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
It's up to me to see that the protest meeting
this morning goes off without a flaw.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Are you sure you've got the eyebrows for this kind
of work.
Speaker 8 (05:50):
Oh, we've got a great program lined up, missus Brooks.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Some of the kids are bringing a dummy down so
we can hang mister Conklin in effigy.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
But Walter, that's a pretty violent way of protesting.
Speaker 8 (06:00):
Oh, it'll all be in fun sort of. Even mister
Conklin's daughter Harriet's on our side.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
So here's the plan, Miss Brooks. First we're gonna have
one last talk with mister Conklin. Then we're gonna go
out and hang the dummy.
Speaker 8 (06:15):
Well, what do you think of the scheme?
Speaker 4 (06:17):
It's a dandy Walder. Of course, it would be more
effective if you had one last talk with the dummy
and then went out. Oh there I go with that
wishful thing.
Speaker 8 (06:36):
Well, here we are, Miss Brooks, for a.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
Group who decided not to come to school today. There's
quite a crowd on the campus. I wonder where Stretched
Snodgrass is. He's supposed to carry the dummy over to
the flagpool. As Madison star athlete, he deserves the honor.
But let me offer a word of caution, Walter.
Speaker 8 (06:52):
Oh what's at miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Well, I don't want to cast any aspersions on Stretch's mentality.
But if he's carrying the dummy, be very careful who
you stray up? Oh here he is now highest.
Speaker 10 (07:04):
Stretched, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 11 (07:07):
I made up a slogan for one of the pickets,
signs water, but I'm afraid it might be a teeny
when he bit disrespectful.
Speaker 10 (07:12):
Want to hear it?
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Sure?
Speaker 8 (07:13):
How does it go?
Speaker 11 (07:14):
Because mister Conklin is very unfair. I'm gonna wash that
guy right out of my hair.
Speaker 8 (07:21):
I don't think of.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Slogan like that's too disrespectful you, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (07:24):
Not if you want to finish your education in another
part of the state.
Speaker 10 (07:28):
The real funnel come later, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 11 (07:30):
We're gonna hang mister Conklin in a figy.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
You know what in a fig Will he fit in
a figy?
Speaker 8 (07:47):
No? He means ineffigy, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
Ah, I kind of liked it the other way.
Speaker 11 (07:54):
Yeah, I better get the thing now, see letter, Miss Brooks,
Blywater that's on path.
Speaker 8 (07:58):
Well, everything's rolling right along. Let's see if mister Cochlin
got here yet. Hello, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 12 (08:07):
Walter Well, I just talked to Daddy and he's livid.
He blames you for the entire insurrection. Miss Brooks, me.
I tried to reason with him. I even told him
that you weren't present when we named you are spokesman,
although it was a foregone conclusion that you'd accept the
honor with great enthusiasm.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
That's getting me off the hook, Daddy says, if.
Speaker 12 (08:26):
You hadn't canceled school yesterday, this wouldn't have happened.
Speaker 8 (08:28):
You're in an awful spot. Gosh, I didn't mean to
get you into such a jam.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
Miss Brooks, Well, I'm in it and it's up to
me to get out of it. Please don't think I'm
a Benedict Arnold, but I'd better get up on the
school steps and have a little talk with some of
these strikers.
Speaker 8 (08:42):
Well, it probably won't do any good, but I can't
blame you for trying.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
Students, boys and girls, I'd like to talk to you
for just a moment. Whyet please thank you now. I'm
sure you all have it as much pride in your
school as any members of the faculty have, or as
its principle mister Conklin has. Please please, I'm just trying
(09:11):
to tell you that by working for a few hours today,
we can be prepared to launch our new semester on
Monday with a minimum of confusion, thus assuring us of
a better start toward that degree of scholastic excellence which
has always prevailed at Madison High. Remember, students, education is
your sacred heritage. You're guaranteed right under the Constitution, as
(09:31):
well as the Bill of Rights, which ensures us all
of the benefits and privileges which every American has come
to fused.
Speaker 5 (09:45):
And so, miss Brooks, I hold you personally responsible for
the fact that these malcontents are not in their classrooms yet.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
But mister Conklin, I really tried to accuse me.
Speaker 5 (09:55):
This is Osgood Conklin's office, mister Conklin himself speaking.
Speaker 13 (10:00):
You know, this is mister Stone at the Board of Education.
Speaker 5 (10:03):
Oh oh, hello, mister Stone, how's every no time for
your chat?
Speaker 13 (10:08):
Rather disturbing rumor has reached me to the effect that
you summoned your student body to school today.
Speaker 9 (10:13):
My student body.
Speaker 13 (10:15):
You realize, of course, that's such an action on your
part without sanction from the board would constitute a preach
of authority that could lead to your immediate dismissal.
Speaker 9 (10:23):
Yes, yes, of course.
Speaker 5 (10:25):
Now I can't, for the life of me imagine where
these ridiculous rumors begin. Why I'm here all alone, not
another soul in the office.
Speaker 13 (10:35):
Bless you shut up.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
I'm sorry, sir, my cat has a call.
Speaker 9 (10:51):
But about that rumor. The only reason I'm in the
office is to get out some letters.
Speaker 13 (10:55):
Good good, I thought you had better sense than to
do anything that autocratic. By the way, ask good. I'll
be in your neighborhood in a little while. Perhaps I'll
drop in to discuss some board matters with you.
Speaker 5 (11:05):
Fine, mister Stone, that'll be just grand. I'll look forward
to seeing you very well.
Speaker 13 (11:10):
Goodbye, Oscar, goodbye.
Speaker 9 (11:11):
Mister Stone. Well, miss Brooks.
Speaker 5 (11:13):
Sometimes everything happens for the best because of you. No
child has set foot in this building as yet, is
that right?
Speaker 4 (11:19):
I guess not, mister Conklin.
Speaker 5 (11:21):
But if you're just waiting, I'll be frank with you,
Miss Brooks. If they had come in, it could have
meant my dismissal. I don't understand mister Stone's attitude. But well,
go out to your youthful charges and inform.
Speaker 9 (11:32):
Them that there is no school today.
Speaker 4 (11:33):
Oh fine, mister Confin, you did.
Speaker 8 (11:36):
It, missus Brooks. I didn't think you could do it,
but you did it.
Speaker 9 (11:38):
What are you talking about? Denton.
Speaker 8 (11:40):
Oh, she was wonderful.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Mister Conklin, Miss Brooks made a speech a few minutes ago.
Speaker 8 (11:44):
It'll go down in Madison's history.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Yes, sir, every student is in his or her classroom
right now.
Speaker 8 (11:52):
They believe me, mister Conklin.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Wild horses couldn't drag them out of this school today.
Speaker 9 (12:00):
Well, miss Broom, you heard the boy.
Speaker 5 (12:06):
Thanks to your speech, wild horses couldn't drag them out
of school today.
Speaker 9 (12:10):
And now, young woman, may I ask what you propose
to do?
Speaker 4 (12:14):
Step aside, mister Conklin, who.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Hour Miss brook Scarring e Varden will continue in just
a moment, But first here is Verne Smith.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
No other Dentifrius offers proof of such results.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Proof that Colgate Dettel cream helps stop tooth decay before
it starts.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Two years research at leading universities using Colgate dental cream,
hundreds of case histories makes this the most conclusive proof
in all Denifrus history on tooth decay. Conclusive proof that
when teeth are brushed with colgates right after eating.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Colgate Dettel cream helps stop tooth decay before it starts.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Yes, the toothpaste you use to clean your breath while
you clean your teeth now offers a safe, proved way
to reduce tooth decay. Modern science shows decay is caused
by mouth acids, which are at their worst right after eating.
Brushing teeth with colgates as directed helps remove acids before
they harm en.
Speaker 10 (13:17):
AMMYL.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Coldgate Dental Cream has been proved to contain all the
necessary ingredients, including an exclusive, patented ingredient for effective daily
dental care.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Get Coldgate Dental Cream today, big economy size only fifty
nine cents. Always use Coldgate Dental cream to clean your
breath while you clean your teeth and.
Speaker 10 (13:36):
Help stop tooth decay before it starts.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Remember no other deafrice offers proof of such results.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
Well, I told Walter Denton to corral the students and
herd them into the cafeteria. While I was waiting for
them to assemble, I corralled mister Boynton and herded him
in to a corner table. Over a cup of coffee,
I told him of mister Conkland's dilemma. As usual, mister
Boynton was extremely sympathetic. So you see, if these kids
don't go home at once, mister Conklin can get in
(14:12):
big trouble with the board.
Speaker 13 (14:14):
Oh that's his worry.
Speaker 14 (14:15):
Oh he should have known better than ask students to
come to school on Saturday. Let alone the faculty.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
I wish he would let alone the faculty. But we're
in it now. At least I am up to our
next at least my neck. Fine English teacher.
Speaker 14 (14:32):
I don't like to see you distressed about it.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Oh.
Speaker 14 (14:34):
Look, when we do leave here, how about going someplace
just the two of us.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
What sort of place did you have in mind, mister Barnton, Well,
I don't know. It's a date.
Speaker 14 (14:47):
I thought maybe you'd enjoy the zoo again today. I
understand they've got a yak over there that's over sixty
years old.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
Honestly, Yeah, that's pretty old for a yack.
Speaker 13 (14:57):
You know.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
Oh I know then old yax is so much more
fun than young yacks. Don't you care? Or don't you care?
I know, I don't.
Speaker 8 (15:12):
Well, I got most of the kids in Miss Brooks, now, hi,
Miss Quinton. Hello, I'll hold this chair for you.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Miss Brooks, go ahead, get up on it and make
your speech.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Thanks Walter, A student's attention. Please, I've called you here
for some very good news. You don't have to stay
in school today.
Speaker 10 (15:30):
For missus Brooks. After your speech of this morning, we
want to stay.
Speaker 4 (15:33):
Don't you believe it? This, after all, is Saturday, a
holiday wonder which you are not only entitled by law,
but which is guaranteed to you by the Constitution, either
the Bill of Rights and every other document so carefully
prepared to safeguard the interest of you, the future.
Speaker 13 (15:49):
Leader of the marketing.
Speaker 9 (16:00):
Hello.
Speaker 13 (16:01):
Hello, I is good. This is mister Stone. I'm afraid
I won't be able to drop in on you today.
After all, my wife's been driving my car all week
and hits pretty well shot.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
Yes, yes, I've seen her your car.
Speaker 9 (16:17):
That is your car. I'm sorry you can't drop in though,
mister Stone.
Speaker 5 (16:23):
But when you do pay us a visit, you'll find
a smoother running educational operation as there is in this country.
Speaker 13 (16:29):
I'm sure of it does. Good well, goodbye.
Speaker 9 (16:31):
For now, goodbye, sir, and thanks for calling. Come in.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
It's me, mister Conklin. I told the students that they
can go home anytime they want to.
Speaker 9 (16:41):
What have they left yet, No, sir, most.
Speaker 4 (16:43):
Of them are still in the cafeteria.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
But they're going to pay for this morning's protest meeting.
Mister Stone isn't coming down after all, So you can
just tell those recalcitor mischief makers that they're staying here
today until four pm.
Speaker 4 (16:56):
But mister Conklin, I can't make another.
Speaker 15 (16:58):
Speech as Brooks Ristmas, and so by.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Working for a few hours today we can be assured
of a better start towards that degree of scholastic excellence
which is always prevailed at Madison High. Remember, students' education is.
Speaker 8 (17:19):
Your safe arriage.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
You're guaranteed right under the Constitution, as well as the
Bill of Rights, which ensures us all the benefits and
privileges which every pagets stretch.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
I don't like the christ miss Brooks up, but we
just gotta get out of school today.
Speaker 11 (17:40):
But we're all on detention, Waller. We got to stay
at four pm. What makes me mad? We didn't even
get to burn mister Conklin of FIGI.
Speaker 8 (17:53):
Yeah, I know what's stretching. Hey, wait a minute, you
just gave me an idea. We had a fire drill.
Then when we all ran.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
Out of school, we could just forget to stop running
until we got home.
Speaker 11 (18:07):
Put the control for the fire alarm fellas in mister
Cockland's office, and he ain't gonna ring.
Speaker 9 (18:11):
It for no reason.
Speaker 8 (18:12):
Then let's give him a reason.
Speaker 10 (18:14):
You mean start a fire.
Speaker 8 (18:15):
No, no, not a real fire, stretch a fake one.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
We can get some dry ice in the cafeteria kitchen
and drop it in a bucket of water.
Speaker 8 (18:22):
Oh, that makes the most beautiful smoke he ever saw.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
And then we just fant it under Old Marblehead's door
until it fills his office.
Speaker 10 (18:30):
Then he comes out of his door and hits us
with the bucket.
Speaker 8 (18:34):
No, no, he doesn't. We remove this screw from his
door knob from the outside, and then when he.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Tries to open the door, the knob comes away in
his hand and Conckland falls right on his corn.
Speaker 10 (18:47):
Boy, you should get a scholarship.
Speaker 5 (18:57):
So, miss Brooks, who have been formed the student body,
they're all under detention until.
Speaker 4 (19:01):
For yes, sir, I did. But suppose mister Stone does
come over and discovers that you're keeping us all in
school on a holiday.
Speaker 5 (19:08):
Ah, but he won't, Miss Brooks, he has no way
to get here, his car broke down.
Speaker 4 (19:12):
Suppose he decided to walk over.
Speaker 9 (19:14):
Walk over, that's ridiculous.
Speaker 13 (19:16):
Where hello, miss Conklin, mister Stone, I decided to walk over?
Speaker 4 (19:22):
That's ridiculous, Hello, mister Stone. How are you.
Speaker 13 (19:26):
Frie, Thanks, miss Brooks, I would have been here sooner, Osgod,
But I dozed off for a few minutes in the park.
I stopped to rest on my favorite bench, the one
under Paul Revere statue.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
That is an extremely comfortable bench, such nice soft slats.
Speaker 13 (19:43):
Tell me, miss Brooks, eh, what brought you to Old
Medicine today?
Speaker 4 (19:46):
Old mister Conklin, that is, mister Conklin asked me to
type some letters for him.
Speaker 13 (19:51):
Yes, yes, that's it. She's typing some letters for me.
But I don't see any typewriter in here.
Speaker 9 (19:58):
Uh, well it's in the next room. In the next room,
I have very long arms.
Speaker 4 (20:08):
But now that we've finished, mister Conklin, why don't you
drive mister Stone home instead of remaining in this stuffy, old,
empty old school.
Speaker 9 (20:15):
A splendid idea of come along with stand on so fast?
Speaker 12 (20:17):
It was good.
Speaker 13 (20:18):
There are several things, of course, that there must be
someone loitering in the hall.
Speaker 9 (20:23):
Impossible, there's no one in school today.
Speaker 13 (20:25):
But I'd swear I just saw that doughnut turning.
Speaker 4 (20:28):
Turning into what?
Speaker 13 (20:32):
And what's that swirling in under the door?
Speaker 4 (20:34):
Oh that's nothing but smoke.
Speaker 9 (20:36):
Yeah, that's all I do is just smoke.
Speaker 13 (20:38):
Oh, of course that's all it is.
Speaker 15 (20:40):
Smoke, smoked, heavens, the school's on fire.
Speaker 13 (20:46):
Let's get out of here. Follow me.
Speaker 9 (20:48):
Oh, door knocked him away in his hand.
Speaker 4 (20:52):
Oh, let me help you off, mister Stone. Mister Stone.
He fell on the back of his head, mister Conklin,
and he's unconscious.
Speaker 15 (20:59):
Quickness Brooks crawls through the window and run around and
open the door from the outside.
Speaker 9 (21:02):
I'll try to revive mister. Yes, sir, smokes getting pretty
thick in here. I can hardly see you, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
I can't see you at all, mister Conklin, I never could.
Speaker 11 (21:20):
Gosh, Waller, we've been finding smoke under that door for
five minutes now.
Speaker 10 (21:23):
He ain't rung the fire alarm yet.
Speaker 8 (21:25):
Relax, stretch.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
With the fog e's in, it'll take him a little
while to notice the smoke.
Speaker 11 (21:29):
You don't think mister Cocklin has become expixicated, do you know?
Speaker 8 (21:35):
That would be too much to hope for.
Speaker 11 (21:37):
But if he is expixicated, maybe we got to open
the door and haul.
Speaker 9 (21:40):
Him out of there.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
Please, let's not spoil a perfectly good axe fixication.
Speaker 8 (21:46):
Miss Brooks, were cooked.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Oh, it's not a real fire, Miss Brooks. It's just
dry ice and water.
Speaker 8 (21:51):
See that.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
We were trying to get mister Conklin to wring the
fire alarm so we could escape from school in the confusion. Oh,
there's a lot you can do on Saturday on the outside.
Speaker 10 (22:00):
Gosh, Miss Brooks, now that you caught us, what are
you gonna do?
Speaker 4 (22:04):
Hand me that newspaper. I'll fan the smoke for a while.
Speaker 9 (22:08):
You're swell sports, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 10 (22:10):
You think you'll ring your arm pretty soon?
Speaker 4 (22:12):
Maybe he needs a little encouragement. Keep up your courage,
mister Conklin. I'm fighting my way through the flames, right,
old marblehead.
Speaker 10 (22:21):
Go ahead, Miss Brooks, scare them some more.
Speaker 8 (22:23):
I'm trying to.
Speaker 4 (22:24):
Reach you, mister Conklin, but the heat is terrific.
Speaker 10 (22:28):
Perhaps I could get you.
Speaker 5 (22:30):
A nice cool lemonade, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
Oh not right now, thanks, I've got to keep fanning
this dry eyes and.
Speaker 5 (22:44):
Oh, miss Brooks, if you're quite finished fighting your way
through the flame.
Speaker 13 (22:48):
You got here in.
Speaker 8 (22:49):
The nick of time, mister Conklin. I just put the
fire out.
Speaker 10 (22:51):
Yeah me too.
Speaker 8 (22:52):
Well, I better be getting back to my classroom now, Yeah, mean.
Speaker 15 (22:55):
Why you are you cprics.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
Why, mister Conklin, you should thank these boys for what
they've done.
Speaker 9 (23:01):
Thank them.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
Certainly, when Walter and Stretch realize the trouble you'd get
into with mister Stone, they took this means of detaining
him until the students were cleared out.
Speaker 9 (23:09):
Sure, as long as mister Stone is locked in there,
you're safe. Hand me that newspaper. I'll fan the smoke
for a while.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
You are, mister Conklor.
Speaker 5 (23:19):
Pour some more water on that dry eyes snod grasp
you denton't see that all the classrooms are empted and
report back to me.
Speaker 8 (23:25):
Yes, sir, how clear, not nothing flat.
Speaker 5 (23:28):
Mister Stone will have to get up pretty early in
the morning to out smart old marble head.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
I don't think you're getting enough smoke under the door,
mister Conqlor.
Speaker 9 (23:38):
Oh were this newspapers too flexible? Get me something firmer
to fan the smoke with.
Speaker 13 (23:42):
Perhaps you'd like to use my hat, mister Conklin.
Speaker 9 (23:46):
Thank you, mister Stone. Thank you. That should work much
better than this.
Speaker 8 (23:49):
Thanks you, mister Stone.
Speaker 13 (23:52):
I will discuss this matter with you privately in your office.
Speaker 9 (23:55):
But mister Stone, follow me, sir.
Speaker 5 (24:00):
No, don't have it came away in his hand.
Speaker 9 (24:03):
Again, mister Stone say something. He's unconscious, Miss Brooks. What
do I do now?
Speaker 4 (24:08):
In an emergency like this, There's only one thing to do. Run,
do not walk to the nearest employment agency.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Varden is our Miss Brooks returns in just a moment.
But first, dream Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful.
Speaker 8 (24:35):
Luster Cream Girl.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Tonight, yes tonight, show him how much lovelier your hair
can look after a luster cream shampoo. Luster cream world's
finest shampoo. No other shampoo in the world gives kay doom.
It's magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin, not
a soap, not a liquid. Luster cream shampoo leaves hair
three ways lovelier, fragrantly clean, free of loose dandriff, with sheen, soft,
(25:01):
manageable even.
Speaker 10 (25:03):
In hardest water.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Muster cream lathers instantly, No special rints needed after a
luster cream shampoo, so gentle luster cream is wonderful even
for children's hair. Tonight, Yes, tonight, try luster cream shampoo.
Speaker 13 (25:17):
Dream Girl, dream Girl.
Speaker 10 (25:20):
Beautiful Luster Cream Girl.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
You owe your crowning glory too a luster cream shampoo.
And now once again here is our Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
Well after mister Stone knocked himself out for the second time.
I did some pretty fast thinking and came up with
a desperation tactic, recalling his remark that he had dozed
on a park bench. I enlisted the aid of mister
Boynton and we hauled the head of the board over
to the statue of Paul Revere.
Speaker 14 (25:54):
Oh he's still out, col Miss Brooks. I'll try the
smelling sauce again.
Speaker 9 (25:58):
There, put them.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
Away, mister Boyne. Coming to wake up, mister Stone.
Speaker 13 (26:02):
Wake up, oh, miss Brooks, about that fire, If you'll
step into mister Conklin's office, Mister Conklin's office, where is it?
Speaker 9 (26:13):
Good?
Speaker 8 (26:13):
Heavens?
Speaker 13 (26:13):
The school is burned down?
Speaker 4 (26:15):
School? What school?
Speaker 8 (26:16):
Now?
Speaker 13 (26:17):
Listen, miss Brooks. When I first saw you today today.
Speaker 4 (26:19):
Why I haven't seen you in two weeks, mister Stone.
Since there was no school today, mister Barnton and I
decided to stroll through the park, yes.
Speaker 14 (26:26):
Sir, and when we saw your dozing, we thought we'd
better awaken you before you rolled off that bench bench.
Speaker 13 (26:31):
What I do remember stopping to risk But oh, what
a nightmare I've just had.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
Maybe you'd better go home and get some real rest,
mister Stone.
Speaker 9 (26:45):
Excellent suggestion.
Speaker 13 (26:46):
I'll go right home and.
Speaker 9 (26:48):
Wait a minute, what's the matter?
Speaker 13 (26:51):
How did I get this doorknob in my hand? Doorknob?
Speaker 8 (26:58):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (26:58):
That that must have fallen from Paul Revere's statue. From
Paul Revere's statue, of course, with the British coming, he
was in an awful rush.
Speaker 16 (27:09):
Next week, turning to another armist workshow brought you by
Luster cream samples the soft, glamorous caressible hair and Colgate
Daniel cream to clean your breath while you clean your
teeth and help stop tooth decay.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Our Miss Brooks, starring Eve Arden, is produced by Larry Burns,
directed by Al Lewis, with music by wilbra Hatch. Mister
Boynton is played by Jeff Chandler.
Speaker 13 (27:28):
Mister Conkland by Gail Gordon.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Others in tonight's cast were Jane Morgan, Dick Crenna, Gloria McMillan,
Bill Johnstone and Leonard Smith.
Speaker 17 (27:41):
Doctors prove pam olive soap can bring you a lovelier
complexion in fourteen days, Yes thirty six leading skin specialists
proved in tests on twelve hundred and eighty five different
women that pom olive soap facials using nothing but pom
Olive brought new complexion beauty to two women out of three.
Just wash your face three times daily with Palmolive soap,
(28:03):
each time for sixty seconds, massaging Palmolive's beauty laver under
your skin than rinse. So start your palmlifacials today. Remember
doctors prove Palmolive soap can bring you a love your
complexion in fourteen days.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Today, more than ever before, America's security depends upon us
as individuals, and if we really care what happens to us,
our children, our country, we must at any cost defy
vicious racial and religious biases from those around us. For
unless we do, we will be a people divided. Our
claims of freedom and democracy only empty gestures. Let's work
(28:46):
together as a team to keep the freedom we all enjoy.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Or mystery liberally sprinkled with laughs. Listen to mister and
Missus North the exciting fun fact adventures of an amplitary
detective and his beautiful wife Tunian Tuesday Evening over most
of these same stations, and be with us again next
week at the same time, or another comedy episode of
our Miss Brooks bab Lemann speaking. This is CBS Columbia
(29:18):
Broadcasting System
Colgate Dental cream to clean your breath while you clean
your teeth and help stop tooth decay and lust. Your
cream shampoo for soft, glamorous, caressible hair. Bring you Our
Miss Brooks, Darring Eve Arden.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
It's time once again for another comedy episode of Our
Miss Brooks, written by al lewis Well. Many of the
nation's schools commence a new semester on Monday, and Madison
High School, where our Miss Brooks teaches English, as one
of them. Although the others usually dispense with classes on
the last day or two of the old term, Madison
did not.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
No.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
Indeed, our beloved Principle Osgod Conklin saw to that. In fact,
he was quite chagrined when a cloudburst last Friday kept
almost all of the student body at home. Even members
of the faculty didn't get down except a handful of teachers.
Speaker 5 (00:54):
Me.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
Since mister Conklin didn't show up until quite late, I
took it upon myself to descismissed the few soap pupils
who were floating around the halls. Saturday morning, at breakfast,
I discussed the situation with my landlady, and.
Speaker 6 (01:08):
What did mister Conklin say when you told him you
had canceled school for the day, Connie, he didn't.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
Say a word, Missus Davis, until he came down off
the ceiling. Then he accused me of usurping his function
as a principle and throwing a monkey wrench into his
plan for getting the jump on the other schools. What
sort of plan did he have, Connie, Well, he felt
that schedules should be revised and classes a sign before
(01:33):
the first day of the new semester. Hence we have
all been invited to appear at school today.
Speaker 7 (01:39):
But this is Saturday, Connie.
Speaker 6 (01:41):
Mister Conklin hasn't the authority to make anybody come to school.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
He doesn't make anybody come. He's put it on a
voluntary basis for both the student body and the faculty.
It's strictly optional. Really, of course, come or die.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
I can't understand some of you teachers, Connie. Why do
you let mister Conkland drive you this way? What are
you all a bunch of geese?
Speaker 4 (02:06):
I don't know about the others, but don't be surprised
if some morning you find a feather by my empty bed,
you see, Missus Davis, I've been in so much trouble
with mister Conklin during the past term. I don't dare
start the new one off on the wrong foot. Oh
that's probably Walter Denton. He's giving dow down to school.
Speaker 8 (02:23):
Come in, Walter.
Speaker 7 (02:24):
It certainly is nice of Walter to call for you
this morning.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
Yes, it is, considering that I made it quite clear
to him that he's driving me was strictly optional. Really,
of course, be here or flunk.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Him, missus Davis, and you most revered and admired of
all local educators.
Speaker 8 (02:42):
I bowed deeply from the waist.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
Thank you, and get your head out of the milk pitcher.
Sit down, Walter. I'll pour you a glass.
Speaker 8 (02:53):
Oh thanks.
Speaker 7 (02:54):
Would you like something else, Walter?
Speaker 4 (02:56):
What have you got?
Speaker 9 (02:57):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (02:58):
Cereal eggs, sauce, beat bacon toes and that'll be fine.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Obviously you haven't had anything to eat since breakfast.
Speaker 8 (03:08):
Oh that's right, miss Brooks, over an hour ago.
Speaker 6 (03:11):
A growing boy should eat a lot, especially if you
want to grow up and be big and strong like
hop Along Cassidy.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
Hop Along Cassidy Ate like Walter, he'd never make it
to the saddle.
Speaker 8 (03:27):
That's a good one.
Speaker 7 (03:34):
I'll go fix a nice plate for you.
Speaker 8 (03:36):
Walter.
Speaker 7 (03:37):
Oh, how do you take your eggs?
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Four in the mouth and six intravenously?
Speaker 8 (03:44):
Gosh, miss Brooks, you make me sound like a pig.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Just scramble a few with some bacon and sausages, missus Davis.
Speaker 8 (03:50):
Please all right, dear, well, this is great.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
What better way to start off the day than a
resounding second breakfast with my favorite school teacher for.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
A kid who's going to school on Saturday. You sound
pretty chipper, Walder.
Speaker 8 (04:02):
Ah, but that's where you're wrong, Miss Brooks. I'm not
going to school today. None of the students are.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
We held a mass meeting last night and decided that
the only course to pursue was open rebellion.
Speaker 8 (04:13):
What the issues are, clear, Miss Brooks. If we let
old Marblehead haul us into school today.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
Addressed a minute, wald, I won't have you referring to
the principle of our school in such a disrespectful manner.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Sorry, miss Brooks, but don't you see if we submit
to his demand that we attend school on Saturday, what's
to prevent him from dragging us down on.
Speaker 8 (04:33):
Sunday or even holidays?
Speaker 4 (04:35):
Oh?
Speaker 8 (04:35):
I can just picture it.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Christmas weekend comes, everybody's off having fun, but our principal
decrees that we must spend every day of our vacation
in school.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
Old Marblehead, wouldn't dare.
Speaker 8 (04:51):
Don't juring, miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Even though we all recognize this for the tyranny that
it is, it is a short lived tyranny. Our spokesman
elected you unanimously last night's meeting.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Old see to that spokesman, whom did you elect?
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Let me be the first to congratulate you. What more
logical choice may I add to slay the tyrant?
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Now wait a second, Walter, it just happens that I
didn't renew my card in the tyrant Slayers Union. I'm
in enough hot water now for canceling school. Yesterday, well
that was different.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
It was an emergency a plus which nobody was there anyway.
But don't worry about it. Now we can plan our
campaign on the way down to school.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
I thought you said you weren't going.
Speaker 8 (05:33):
Of course I'm going. I'm in charge of the picket
line as one of the organizers of this rebellion.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
It's up to me to see that the protest meeting
this morning goes off without a flaw.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Are you sure you've got the eyebrows for this kind
of work.
Speaker 8 (05:50):
Oh, we've got a great program lined up, missus Brooks.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Some of the kids are bringing a dummy down so
we can hang mister Conklin in effigy.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
But Walter, that's a pretty violent way of protesting.
Speaker 8 (06:00):
Oh, it'll all be in fun sort of. Even mister
Conklin's daughter Harriet's on our side.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
So here's the plan, Miss Brooks. First we're gonna have
one last talk with mister Conklin. Then we're gonna go
out and hang the dummy.
Speaker 8 (06:15):
Well, what do you think of the scheme?
Speaker 4 (06:17):
It's a dandy Walder. Of course, it would be more
effective if you had one last talk with the dummy
and then went out. Oh there I go with that
wishful thing.
Speaker 8 (06:36):
Well, here we are, Miss Brooks, for a.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
Group who decided not to come to school today. There's
quite a crowd on the campus. I wonder where Stretched
Snodgrass is. He's supposed to carry the dummy over to
the flagpool. As Madison star athlete, he deserves the honor.
But let me offer a word of caution, Walter.
Speaker 8 (06:52):
Oh what's at miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Well, I don't want to cast any aspersions on Stretch's mentality.
But if he's carrying the dummy, be very careful who
you stray up? Oh here he is now highest.
Speaker 10 (07:04):
Stretched, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 11 (07:07):
I made up a slogan for one of the pickets,
signs water, but I'm afraid it might be a teeny
when he bit disrespectful.
Speaker 10 (07:12):
Want to hear it?
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Sure?
Speaker 8 (07:13):
How does it go?
Speaker 11 (07:14):
Because mister Conklin is very unfair. I'm gonna wash that
guy right out of my hair.
Speaker 8 (07:21):
I don't think of.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Slogan like that's too disrespectful you, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (07:24):
Not if you want to finish your education in another
part of the state.
Speaker 10 (07:28):
The real funnel come later, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 11 (07:30):
We're gonna hang mister Conklin in a figy.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
You know what in a fig Will he fit in
a figy?
Speaker 8 (07:47):
No? He means ineffigy, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
Ah, I kind of liked it the other way.
Speaker 11 (07:54):
Yeah, I better get the thing now, see letter, Miss Brooks,
Blywater that's on path.
Speaker 8 (07:58):
Well, everything's rolling right along. Let's see if mister Cochlin
got here yet. Hello, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 12 (08:07):
Walter Well, I just talked to Daddy and he's livid.
He blames you for the entire insurrection. Miss Brooks, me.
I tried to reason with him. I even told him
that you weren't present when we named you are spokesman,
although it was a foregone conclusion that you'd accept the
honor with great enthusiasm.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
That's getting me off the hook, Daddy says, if.
Speaker 12 (08:26):
You hadn't canceled school yesterday, this wouldn't have happened.
Speaker 8 (08:28):
You're in an awful spot. Gosh, I didn't mean to
get you into such a jam.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
Miss Brooks, Well, I'm in it and it's up to
me to get out of it. Please don't think I'm
a Benedict Arnold, but I'd better get up on the
school steps and have a little talk with some of
these strikers.
Speaker 8 (08:42):
Well, it probably won't do any good, but I can't
blame you for trying.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
Students, boys and girls, I'd like to talk to you
for just a moment. Whyet please thank you now. I'm
sure you all have it as much pride in your
school as any members of the faculty have, or as
its principle mister Conklin has. Please please, I'm just trying
(09:11):
to tell you that by working for a few hours today,
we can be prepared to launch our new semester on
Monday with a minimum of confusion, thus assuring us of
a better start toward that degree of scholastic excellence which
has always prevailed at Madison High. Remember, students, education is
your sacred heritage. You're guaranteed right under the Constitution, as
(09:31):
well as the Bill of Rights, which ensures us all
of the benefits and privileges which every American has come
to fused.
Speaker 5 (09:45):
And so, miss Brooks, I hold you personally responsible for
the fact that these malcontents are not in their classrooms yet.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
But mister Conklin, I really tried to accuse me.
Speaker 5 (09:55):
This is Osgood Conklin's office, mister Conklin himself speaking.
Speaker 13 (10:00):
You know, this is mister Stone at the Board of Education.
Speaker 5 (10:03):
Oh oh, hello, mister Stone, how's every no time for
your chat?
Speaker 13 (10:08):
Rather disturbing rumor has reached me to the effect that
you summoned your student body to school today.
Speaker 9 (10:13):
My student body.
Speaker 13 (10:15):
You realize, of course, that's such an action on your
part without sanction from the board would constitute a preach
of authority that could lead to your immediate dismissal.
Speaker 9 (10:23):
Yes, yes, of course.
Speaker 5 (10:25):
Now I can't, for the life of me imagine where
these ridiculous rumors begin. Why I'm here all alone, not
another soul in the office.
Speaker 13 (10:35):
Bless you shut up.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
I'm sorry, sir, my cat has a call.
Speaker 9 (10:51):
But about that rumor. The only reason I'm in the
office is to get out some letters.
Speaker 13 (10:55):
Good good, I thought you had better sense than to
do anything that autocratic. By the way, ask good. I'll
be in your neighborhood in a little while. Perhaps I'll
drop in to discuss some board matters with you.
Speaker 5 (11:05):
Fine, mister Stone, that'll be just grand. I'll look forward
to seeing you very well.
Speaker 13 (11:10):
Goodbye, Oscar, goodbye.
Speaker 9 (11:11):
Mister Stone. Well, miss Brooks.
Speaker 5 (11:13):
Sometimes everything happens for the best because of you. No
child has set foot in this building as yet, is
that right?
Speaker 4 (11:19):
I guess not, mister Conklin.
Speaker 5 (11:21):
But if you're just waiting, I'll be frank with you,
Miss Brooks. If they had come in, it could have
meant my dismissal. I don't understand mister Stone's attitude. But well,
go out to your youthful charges and inform.
Speaker 9 (11:32):
Them that there is no school today.
Speaker 4 (11:33):
Oh fine, mister Confin, you did.
Speaker 8 (11:36):
It, missus Brooks. I didn't think you could do it,
but you did it.
Speaker 9 (11:38):
What are you talking about? Denton.
Speaker 8 (11:40):
Oh, she was wonderful.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Mister Conklin, Miss Brooks made a speech a few minutes ago.
Speaker 8 (11:44):
It'll go down in Madison's history.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Yes, sir, every student is in his or her classroom
right now.
Speaker 8 (11:52):
They believe me, mister Conklin.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Wild horses couldn't drag them out of this school today.
Speaker 9 (12:00):
Well, miss Broom, you heard the boy.
Speaker 5 (12:06):
Thanks to your speech, wild horses couldn't drag them out
of school today.
Speaker 9 (12:10):
And now, young woman, may I ask what you propose
to do?
Speaker 4 (12:14):
Step aside, mister Conklin, who.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Hour Miss brook Scarring e Varden will continue in just
a moment, But first here is Verne Smith.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
No other Dentifrius offers proof of such results.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Proof that Colgate Dettel cream helps stop tooth decay before
it starts.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Two years research at leading universities using Colgate dental cream,
hundreds of case histories makes this the most conclusive proof
in all Denifrus history on tooth decay. Conclusive proof that
when teeth are brushed with colgates right after eating.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Colgate Dettel cream helps stop tooth decay before it starts.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Yes, the toothpaste you use to clean your breath while
you clean your teeth now offers a safe, proved way
to reduce tooth decay. Modern science shows decay is caused
by mouth acids, which are at their worst right after eating.
Brushing teeth with colgates as directed helps remove acids before
they harm en.
Speaker 10 (13:17):
AMMYL.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Coldgate Dental Cream has been proved to contain all the
necessary ingredients, including an exclusive, patented ingredient for effective daily
dental care.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Get Coldgate Dental Cream today, big economy size only fifty
nine cents. Always use Coldgate Dental cream to clean your
breath while you clean your teeth and.
Speaker 10 (13:36):
Help stop tooth decay before it starts.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Remember no other deafrice offers proof of such results.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
Well, I told Walter Denton to corral the students and
herd them into the cafeteria. While I was waiting for
them to assemble, I corralled mister Boynton and herded him
in to a corner table. Over a cup of coffee,
I told him of mister Conkland's dilemma. As usual, mister
Boynton was extremely sympathetic. So you see, if these kids
don't go home at once, mister Conklin can get in
(14:12):
big trouble with the board.
Speaker 13 (14:14):
Oh that's his worry.
Speaker 14 (14:15):
Oh he should have known better than ask students to
come to school on Saturday. Let alone the faculty.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
I wish he would let alone the faculty. But we're
in it now. At least I am up to our
next at least my neck. Fine English teacher.
Speaker 14 (14:32):
I don't like to see you distressed about it.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Oh.
Speaker 14 (14:34):
Look, when we do leave here, how about going someplace
just the two of us.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
What sort of place did you have in mind, mister Barnton, Well,
I don't know. It's a date.
Speaker 14 (14:47):
I thought maybe you'd enjoy the zoo again today. I
understand they've got a yak over there that's over sixty
years old.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
Honestly, Yeah, that's pretty old for a yack.
Speaker 13 (14:57):
You know.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
Oh I know then old yax is so much more
fun than young yacks. Don't you care? Or don't you care?
I know, I don't.
Speaker 8 (15:12):
Well, I got most of the kids in Miss Brooks, now, hi,
Miss Quinton. Hello, I'll hold this chair for you.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Miss Brooks, go ahead, get up on it and make
your speech.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Thanks Walter, A student's attention. Please, I've called you here
for some very good news. You don't have to stay
in school today.
Speaker 10 (15:30):
For missus Brooks. After your speech of this morning, we
want to stay.
Speaker 4 (15:33):
Don't you believe it? This, after all, is Saturday, a
holiday wonder which you are not only entitled by law,
but which is guaranteed to you by the Constitution, either
the Bill of Rights and every other document so carefully
prepared to safeguard the interest of you, the future.
Speaker 13 (15:49):
Leader of the marketing.
Speaker 9 (16:00):
Hello.
Speaker 13 (16:01):
Hello, I is good. This is mister Stone. I'm afraid
I won't be able to drop in on you today.
After all, my wife's been driving my car all week
and hits pretty well shot.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
Yes, yes, I've seen her your car.
Speaker 9 (16:17):
That is your car. I'm sorry you can't drop in though,
mister Stone.
Speaker 5 (16:23):
But when you do pay us a visit, you'll find
a smoother running educational operation as there is in this country.
Speaker 13 (16:29):
I'm sure of it does. Good well, goodbye.
Speaker 9 (16:31):
For now, goodbye, sir, and thanks for calling. Come in.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
It's me, mister Conklin. I told the students that they
can go home anytime they want to.
Speaker 9 (16:41):
What have they left yet, No, sir, most.
Speaker 4 (16:43):
Of them are still in the cafeteria.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
But they're going to pay for this morning's protest meeting.
Mister Stone isn't coming down after all, So you can
just tell those recalcitor mischief makers that they're staying here
today until four pm.
Speaker 4 (16:56):
But mister Conklin, I can't make another.
Speaker 15 (16:58):
Speech as Brooks Ristmas, and so by.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Working for a few hours today we can be assured
of a better start towards that degree of scholastic excellence
which is always prevailed at Madison High. Remember, students' education is.
Speaker 8 (17:19):
Your safe arriage.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
You're guaranteed right under the Constitution, as well as the
Bill of Rights, which ensures us all the benefits and
privileges which every pagets stretch.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
I don't like the christ miss Brooks up, but we
just gotta get out of school today.
Speaker 11 (17:40):
But we're all on detention, Waller. We got to stay
at four pm. What makes me mad? We didn't even
get to burn mister Conklin of FIGI.
Speaker 8 (17:53):
Yeah, I know what's stretching. Hey, wait a minute, you
just gave me an idea. We had a fire drill.
Then when we all ran.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
Out of school, we could just forget to stop running
until we got home.
Speaker 11 (18:07):
Put the control for the fire alarm fellas in mister
Cockland's office, and he ain't gonna ring.
Speaker 9 (18:11):
It for no reason.
Speaker 8 (18:12):
Then let's give him a reason.
Speaker 10 (18:14):
You mean start a fire.
Speaker 8 (18:15):
No, no, not a real fire, stretch a fake one.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
We can get some dry ice in the cafeteria kitchen
and drop it in a bucket of water.
Speaker 8 (18:22):
Oh, that makes the most beautiful smoke he ever saw.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
And then we just fant it under Old Marblehead's door
until it fills his office.
Speaker 10 (18:30):
Then he comes out of his door and hits us
with the bucket.
Speaker 8 (18:34):
No, no, he doesn't. We remove this screw from his
door knob from the outside, and then when he.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Tries to open the door, the knob comes away in
his hand and Conckland falls right on his corn.
Speaker 10 (18:47):
Boy, you should get a scholarship.
Speaker 5 (18:57):
So, miss Brooks, who have been formed the student body,
they're all under detention until.
Speaker 4 (19:01):
For yes, sir, I did. But suppose mister Stone does
come over and discovers that you're keeping us all in
school on a holiday.
Speaker 5 (19:08):
Ah, but he won't, Miss Brooks, he has no way
to get here, his car broke down.
Speaker 4 (19:12):
Suppose he decided to walk over.
Speaker 9 (19:14):
Walk over, that's ridiculous.
Speaker 13 (19:16):
Where hello, miss Conklin, mister Stone, I decided to walk over?
Speaker 4 (19:22):
That's ridiculous, Hello, mister Stone. How are you.
Speaker 13 (19:26):
Frie, Thanks, miss Brooks, I would have been here sooner, Osgod,
But I dozed off for a few minutes in the park.
I stopped to rest on my favorite bench, the one
under Paul Revere statue.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
That is an extremely comfortable bench, such nice soft slats.
Speaker 13 (19:43):
Tell me, miss Brooks, eh, what brought you to Old
Medicine today?
Speaker 4 (19:46):
Old mister Conklin, that is, mister Conklin asked me to
type some letters for him.
Speaker 13 (19:51):
Yes, yes, that's it. She's typing some letters for me.
But I don't see any typewriter in here.
Speaker 9 (19:58):
Uh, well it's in the next room. In the next room,
I have very long arms.
Speaker 4 (20:08):
But now that we've finished, mister Conklin, why don't you
drive mister Stone home instead of remaining in this stuffy, old,
empty old school.
Speaker 9 (20:15):
A splendid idea of come along with stand on so fast?
Speaker 12 (20:17):
It was good.
Speaker 13 (20:18):
There are several things, of course, that there must be
someone loitering in the hall.
Speaker 9 (20:23):
Impossible, there's no one in school today.
Speaker 13 (20:25):
But I'd swear I just saw that doughnut turning.
Speaker 4 (20:28):
Turning into what?
Speaker 13 (20:32):
And what's that swirling in under the door?
Speaker 4 (20:34):
Oh that's nothing but smoke.
Speaker 9 (20:36):
Yeah, that's all I do is just smoke.
Speaker 13 (20:38):
Oh, of course that's all it is.
Speaker 15 (20:40):
Smoke, smoked, heavens, the school's on fire.
Speaker 13 (20:46):
Let's get out of here. Follow me.
Speaker 9 (20:48):
Oh, door knocked him away in his hand.
Speaker 4 (20:52):
Oh, let me help you off, mister Stone. Mister Stone.
He fell on the back of his head, mister Conklin,
and he's unconscious.
Speaker 15 (20:59):
Quickness Brooks crawls through the window and run around and
open the door from the outside.
Speaker 9 (21:02):
I'll try to revive mister. Yes, sir, smokes getting pretty
thick in here. I can hardly see you, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
I can't see you at all, mister Conklin, I never could.
Speaker 11 (21:20):
Gosh, Waller, we've been finding smoke under that door for
five minutes now.
Speaker 10 (21:23):
He ain't rung the fire alarm yet.
Speaker 8 (21:25):
Relax, stretch.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
With the fog e's in, it'll take him a little
while to notice the smoke.
Speaker 11 (21:29):
You don't think mister Cocklin has become expixicated, do you know?
Speaker 8 (21:35):
That would be too much to hope for.
Speaker 11 (21:37):
But if he is expixicated, maybe we got to open
the door and haul.
Speaker 9 (21:40):
Him out of there.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
Please, let's not spoil a perfectly good axe fixication.
Speaker 8 (21:46):
Miss Brooks, were cooked.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Oh, it's not a real fire, Miss Brooks. It's just
dry ice and water.
Speaker 8 (21:51):
See that.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
We were trying to get mister Conklin to wring the
fire alarm so we could escape from school in the confusion. Oh,
there's a lot you can do on Saturday on the outside.
Speaker 10 (22:00):
Gosh, Miss Brooks, now that you caught us, what are
you gonna do?
Speaker 4 (22:04):
Hand me that newspaper. I'll fan the smoke for a while.
Speaker 9 (22:08):
You're swell sports, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 10 (22:10):
You think you'll ring your arm pretty soon?
Speaker 4 (22:12):
Maybe he needs a little encouragement. Keep up your courage,
mister Conklin. I'm fighting my way through the flames, right,
old marblehead.
Speaker 10 (22:21):
Go ahead, Miss Brooks, scare them some more.
Speaker 8 (22:23):
I'm trying to.
Speaker 4 (22:24):
Reach you, mister Conklin, but the heat is terrific.
Speaker 10 (22:28):
Perhaps I could get you.
Speaker 5 (22:30):
A nice cool lemonade, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
Oh not right now, thanks, I've got to keep fanning
this dry eyes and.
Speaker 5 (22:44):
Oh, miss Brooks, if you're quite finished fighting your way
through the flame.
Speaker 13 (22:48):
You got here in.
Speaker 8 (22:49):
The nick of time, mister Conklin. I just put the
fire out.
Speaker 10 (22:51):
Yeah me too.
Speaker 8 (22:52):
Well, I better be getting back to my classroom now, Yeah, mean.
Speaker 15 (22:55):
Why you are you cprics.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
Why, mister Conklin, you should thank these boys for what
they've done.
Speaker 9 (23:01):
Thank them.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
Certainly, when Walter and Stretch realize the trouble you'd get
into with mister Stone, they took this means of detaining
him until the students were cleared out.
Speaker 9 (23:09):
Sure, as long as mister Stone is locked in there,
you're safe. Hand me that newspaper. I'll fan the smoke
for a while.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
You are, mister Conklor.
Speaker 5 (23:19):
Pour some more water on that dry eyes snod grasp
you denton't see that all the classrooms are empted and
report back to me.
Speaker 8 (23:25):
Yes, sir, how clear, not nothing flat.
Speaker 5 (23:28):
Mister Stone will have to get up pretty early in
the morning to out smart old marble head.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
I don't think you're getting enough smoke under the door,
mister Conqlor.
Speaker 9 (23:38):
Oh were this newspapers too flexible? Get me something firmer
to fan the smoke with.
Speaker 13 (23:42):
Perhaps you'd like to use my hat, mister Conklin.
Speaker 9 (23:46):
Thank you, mister Stone. Thank you. That should work much
better than this.
Speaker 8 (23:49):
Thanks you, mister Stone.
Speaker 13 (23:52):
I will discuss this matter with you privately in your office.
Speaker 9 (23:55):
But mister Stone, follow me, sir.
Speaker 5 (24:00):
No, don't have it came away in his hand.
Speaker 9 (24:03):
Again, mister Stone say something. He's unconscious, Miss Brooks. What
do I do now?
Speaker 4 (24:08):
In an emergency like this, There's only one thing to do. Run,
do not walk to the nearest employment agency.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Varden is our Miss Brooks returns in just a moment.
But first, dream Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful.
Speaker 8 (24:35):
Luster Cream Girl.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Tonight, yes tonight, show him how much lovelier your hair
can look after a luster cream shampoo. Luster cream world's
finest shampoo. No other shampoo in the world gives kay doom.
It's magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin, not
a soap, not a liquid. Luster cream shampoo leaves hair
three ways lovelier, fragrantly clean, free of loose dandriff, with sheen, soft,
(25:01):
manageable even.
Speaker 10 (25:03):
In hardest water.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Muster cream lathers instantly, No special rints needed after a
luster cream shampoo, so gentle luster cream is wonderful even
for children's hair. Tonight, Yes, tonight, try luster cream shampoo.
Speaker 13 (25:17):
Dream Girl, dream Girl.
Speaker 10 (25:20):
Beautiful Luster Cream Girl.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
You owe your crowning glory too a luster cream shampoo.
And now once again here is our Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
Well after mister Stone knocked himself out for the second time.
I did some pretty fast thinking and came up with
a desperation tactic, recalling his remark that he had dozed
on a park bench. I enlisted the aid of mister
Boynton and we hauled the head of the board over
to the statue of Paul Revere.
Speaker 14 (25:54):
Oh he's still out, col Miss Brooks. I'll try the
smelling sauce again.
Speaker 9 (25:58):
There, put them.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
Away, mister Boyne. Coming to wake up, mister Stone.
Speaker 13 (26:02):
Wake up, oh, miss Brooks, about that fire, If you'll
step into mister Conklin's office, Mister Conklin's office, where is it?
Speaker 9 (26:13):
Good?
Speaker 8 (26:13):
Heavens?
Speaker 13 (26:13):
The school is burned down?
Speaker 4 (26:15):
School? What school?
Speaker 8 (26:16):
Now?
Speaker 13 (26:17):
Listen, miss Brooks. When I first saw you today today.
Speaker 4 (26:19):
Why I haven't seen you in two weeks, mister Stone.
Since there was no school today, mister Barnton and I
decided to stroll through the park, yes.
Speaker 14 (26:26):
Sir, and when we saw your dozing, we thought we'd
better awaken you before you rolled off that bench bench.
Speaker 13 (26:31):
What I do remember stopping to risk But oh, what
a nightmare I've just had.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
Maybe you'd better go home and get some real rest,
mister Stone.
Speaker 9 (26:45):
Excellent suggestion.
Speaker 13 (26:46):
I'll go right home and.
Speaker 9 (26:48):
Wait a minute, what's the matter?
Speaker 13 (26:51):
How did I get this doorknob in my hand? Doorknob?
Speaker 8 (26:58):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (26:58):
That that must have fallen from Paul Revere's statue. From
Paul Revere's statue, of course, with the British coming, he
was in an awful rush.
Speaker 16 (27:09):
Next week, turning to another armist workshow brought you by
Luster cream samples the soft, glamorous caressible hair and Colgate
Daniel cream to clean your breath while you clean your
teeth and help stop tooth decay.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Our Miss Brooks, starring Eve Arden, is produced by Larry Burns,
directed by Al Lewis, with music by wilbra Hatch. Mister
Boynton is played by Jeff Chandler.
Speaker 13 (27:28):
Mister Conkland by Gail Gordon.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Others in tonight's cast were Jane Morgan, Dick Crenna, Gloria McMillan,
Bill Johnstone and Leonard Smith.
Speaker 17 (27:41):
Doctors prove pam olive soap can bring you a lovelier
complexion in fourteen days, Yes thirty six leading skin specialists
proved in tests on twelve hundred and eighty five different
women that pom olive soap facials using nothing but pom
Olive brought new complexion beauty to two women out of three.
Just wash your face three times daily with Palmolive soap,
(28:03):
each time for sixty seconds, massaging Palmolive's beauty laver under
your skin than rinse. So start your palmlifacials today. Remember
doctors prove Palmolive soap can bring you a love your
complexion in fourteen days.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Today, more than ever before, America's security depends upon us
as individuals, and if we really care what happens to us,
our children, our country, we must at any cost defy
vicious racial and religious biases from those around us. For
unless we do, we will be a people divided. Our
claims of freedom and democracy only empty gestures. Let's work
(28:46):
together as a team to keep the freedom we all enjoy.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Or mystery liberally sprinkled with laughs. Listen to mister and
Missus North the exciting fun fact adventures of an amplitary
detective and his beautiful wife Tunian Tuesday Evening over most
of these same stations, and be with us again next
week at the same time, or another comedy episode of
our Miss Brooks bab Lemann speaking. This is CBS Columbia
(29:18):
Broadcasting System
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.