July 1, 2025 • 59 mins
What happens when parenting and crisis collide? In this episode, we sit down with Meghna Kulkarni, a mother, partner, and working professional, to trace her extraordinary parenting journey shaped by love, loss, resilience, and reinvention.
Meghna shares how she and her husband Prashant navigated his diagnosis of Stage 4 Hodgkin’s lymphoma when their son was just a toddler, and how that experience reshaped their marriage, their parenting, and their sense of identity.
From raising a child through chemotherapy in London, adjusting to cultural shifts in Singapore, to returning to India during the pandemic, Meghna's story is a powerful reminder of what it means to show up —imperfectly, fully, and fiercely — for the people you love, and for yourself.
🎧 Why You Should Listen
This episode is a must-listen if you:
- Are navigating parenting while caregiving or going through a personal crisis
- Are raising children across cultures or planning a move abroad/back to India
- Need a reminder that “you are enough” as a parent, even when life feels overwhelming
- Want to hear a deeply authentic, quietly powerful take on motherhood and resilience
It’s not about perfect parenting. It’s about real parenting—gritty, tender, and full of grace.
⏱️ Highlights and Timestamps
- [2:21] Meghna’s intention for sharing her story: “If even one person is helped by what we’ve gone through, it’s worth it.”
- [9:39] The moment everything changed: Prashant's unexpected reaction to his cancer diagnosis—and how Meghna carried the emotional weight.
- [13:29] Parenting through uncertainty: How the trauma shaped their toddler Ishaan—and why Meghna is grateful he doesn't remember it.
- [20:24] The hardest conversation: “I’m worried our son won’t even remember you.” Meghna opens up about facing mortality and choosing courage.
- [23:00] Grieving missed milestones: “I don’t remember his first steps or words.” The painful trade-offs when survival takes over parenting.
- [25:23] Self-kindness as a survival tool: A powerful reminder that parents must care for themselves, not just their children.
- [34:45] Culture shock—at home: Returning to India after 20 years abroad, and the funny, unexpected challenges that came with it.
- [41:31] Reinventing her career for balance: Why Meghna stepped out of hospitality and chose a job that aligned with motherhood and selfhood.
- [54:07] Advice to her pre-parent self: “Good on you for waiting.” Why conscious parenting begins before the child arrives.
- [56:10] What Meghna hopes Ishaan takes with him: "Be kind. Be ambitious. And don't let the world tell you it's not cool to care."
👩🦰 About Meghna Kulkarni
Meghna is a hospitality professional turned FMCG operations manager, a wife of 27 years, and mother to 18-year-old Ishaan. With a life that has moved across continents and crises, Meghna is a quiet force of resilience and grace.
She lives in Gurgaon, India, with her family, and continues to balance a fulfilling career with intentional motherhood. Her story is not just about surviving cancer as a family—but about growing through it, together.
📱 Follow Meghna on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meghnakul
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:11):
Hello beautiful people, and welcome back to Parenthood.
I'm Neha, A fellow parent, a listener, a question asker, and
this is our shared space to slowdown TuneIn and listen to the
real lived experiences of parenting.
Every week would sit with someone who's walking this
winding path of being a parent with all the joy, fear,
(00:34):
exhaustion, growth, uncertainty,and deep love that it brings.
We talk about what's working, what's not, and everything in
between. This podcast is not about
perfect parenting advice, it's about real life.
It's about building a life whileraising a little human, or in
today's case, a not so little one.
(00:55):
My guest this week is someone who's lived a rich and Laird
parenting journey across countries, cultures and some
deeply personal trials. Meghna Kulkarni is a working
professional in the FMCG sector,a partner of 27 years to her
college sweetheart Prashant and a mother to 18 year old Ishan.
(01:18):
But Meghna's story isn't just about timelines and milestones.
It's about resilience, the kind you don't know you have until
life asks it for you. When Ishan was just a toddler,
Meghna's husband was diagnosed with stage 4 Hodkin's lymphoma.
What followed was a period of caregiving, uncertainty and deep
(01:40):
emotional juggling, all while parenting a child too young to
understand what was going on. Since then, they've lived in
London, moved to Singapore, and more recently, returned to India
in the middle of a global pandemic.
Through all the ships, Meghna has held her ground gently,
quietly, with her feet rooted inlove and her eyes always on the
(02:04):
Longview. Today, Meghna joins us not just
as a mother or a wife or a professional, but as a mother,
as a woman who's lived through big changes and has taken time
to reflect on them. Meghna, I'm so grateful to have
you here. Thank you for joining us.
And then thank you, Neha, for inviting me.
And I was, as I was saying to you earlier, I'm very happy to
(02:26):
share my life experiences. If that's, you know, even one
person gets help by what we havegone through as a family or I
have gone through as a parent and a wife.
I think you know, it's worth it.You know your life experiences
and all the grey hair you've collected along the way.
It's worth it. You know, that's that's so
(02:47):
generous of you. Thank you so much.
And let's start with you as a person before the roles.
If you had to describe yourself in just three words or phrases,
things that true, then feel trueto who you are, what would they
be? I think I am extremely
resilient. I'm someone who will persevere
(03:09):
no matter what. And I think, you know, I am a
kind of person who is extremely loyal and will, you know, do
whatever it takes for family. So talking.
Of family tell us about your family what's your world made of
and. I am.
(03:31):
Very inspired Prashanth, 27 years, whole lifetime together.
How did you 2 meet? How has your relationship
evolved overtime? So as you know that Prashanth
and I were really babies when wemet.
So we met at IHM, Mumbai. I was 18, he was 19.
(03:52):
And about a year and a half after I joined college because
he was a year senior to me, we started dating.
And then since he was obviously a year senior, he passed out of
college a year ahead of me. And he started pursuing his
dream of being a chef and he joined Oberois.
And you know, he was doing his training while I was still
finishing my course at, at Mumbai.
(04:15):
And then as luck would have it, I ended up getting through
Oberois as well. And yeah, we both in our career
journey started the Oberois and then very quickly, I was 22, he
was 23, we got married. And you know, today when I look
back, I asked my parents, what the hell were you guys thinking
(04:38):
allowing 22 and 23 year old to get married?
But you know, I think it comes from a space where we were
mature enough, we were sure enough.
And then we came from very similar backgrounds.
So his father was is a doctor inthe Air Force.
My father was a doctor in the Army.
(04:58):
They knew each other since before we were even born or they
were even married. So, you know, I always say if
our parents had to look for a spouse for us and it was to be
an arranged marriage, they wouldn't have found anything
different. They would have exactly chosen
what we chose with each other. So I think that kind of gave up
(05:19):
parents, you know, some assurance that we know what
we're doing because we came fromsuch similar backgrounds and and
then we've grown in a similar environment.
And I I always say we thank overus because they used to give us
accommodation as married couples.
So that's how we were able to get married.
(05:41):
So, so yeah, we got married in 1998 and then that's when we
started our married life in Mumbai.
We continued working for Robroysfor a while and then I moved
jobs and in 2001 we decided to go to Spain for a for a short
stint. So Prashanth opened an Indian
(06:03):
restaurant in South of Spain andwe did that for a year.
It was really an amazing experience.
Spain was great and living like one minute away from the
Mediterranean Sea was really great.
But at the same time, the business there is very seasonal.
So in the summer it's bustling and there's people and there's
(06:23):
excitement. But come winter it's really
boring. And as 28 year olds, you know,
we were like, oh God, this is feels like we are retired
already. So, you know, we said no, no,
no, this is not for us. So we came back and then we
moved to London where we spent 10 years and you know, that's
where our first car, first house, first, you know, child,
(06:44):
everything, all of us kind of happened in London.
So London is almost like second home for us in that sense.
And that's when, you know, when our son was born in 2006.
And really from that point on after his birth is when
(07:04):
Prashanth started falling sick. And it took about 1 1/2 years
for him to be diagnosed that, you know, it was cancer because
the symptoms never, you don't actually really know what the
symptoms should be because all it was he was itching in his
arms and legs. And we were kind of going
through gluten allergies, skin biopsies, and then, you know, it
(07:29):
just could not be caught. We did so many blood tests at
that time and going to specialist, but we just couldn't
figure out what was happening. And then 1 1/2 years later, he
got a lump in his neck where initially you kind of had to
press it down to feel it, but ina week's time, it was sitting
(07:50):
like a golf ball on his neck. So the itching that he was
having was purely because of thechemical that the cancer cells
release under your skin. So that's what was causing the
itching. And all somebody needed to kind
of think about was do a chest X-ray and we would have known
that he's having cancer. So that's when the three years
(08:11):
of our, you know, fight and battle to survive.
Really, I can't even California call it cancer.
It was, it was a battle to survive because it was a very
aggressive cancer. When he was diagnosed, it was
already stage 4 in his bone marrow.
So it it was a very long and hard battle that, you know, each
one of us had to fight within our own sort of space and, and
(08:36):
everything else that comes with fulfilling that role.
So whether it was my in laws, whether it was my parents,
whether it was our siblings, whether Prashanth himself, and
in some ways which probably Prashanth didn't understand,
then him as well. You know, as a 1 1/2, two year,
2 1/2 year old child, he had hisown battles to fight because he
(08:57):
couldn't understand what was happening.
And then by God's grace, you know, we overcame that battle
and, you know, being the winnerson the other side.
And that's when we moved to Singapore for seven years and,
you know, kind of life carried on normally.
And Touchwood, you know, we've had a fulfilling life.
(09:19):
And then that is all in the past.
And we can look back and say, alright, you know, we survived.
Wait, I'm, I'm very interested to know now that you speak about
that time, when you think about that time now, what comes up
first for you? The emotions.
In terms of the emotions, the memories.
(09:39):
You know, the memory is like it happened yesterday and you know,
I guess it's a woman's memory. It is as clear as, you know,
like yesterday and there are fewthings that are so imprinted in
my mind that I think I'm gonna, it's gonna stay with me till the
day I die. You know, there is one instance
where I clearly remember was thefirst talk of the C word that
(10:01):
happened in the house was, you know, so after the chest X-ray
that Prashanth had, because the doctors in UK suspected he may
have tuberculosis. So they sent him for an X-ray to
see if it is indeed tuberculosis.
Instead it came back to say thatit is cancer.
And the doctors know from the from the surgery came that can
(10:26):
you go and see your GP on an urgent basis?
And I don't know what happened. And he decided to go by himself.
So he went to the doctors on hisown where the doctor gave him
the news that look, son, he was suffering from cancer and you
know, you got to get yourself through some chemotherapy and
(10:47):
through some tough times. Basically.
He comes back home and I remember in that the house in
London that we have it has 2 levels.
So he the dining room is what you kind of walk in and a five
steps down as the living room. So my mum was there because I
was still on. I had left my job and I was kind
of going to look for another onebecause, you know, ish mum was
(11:10):
very young and I was travelling too much with this job.
So anyway I my mum and I are sitting and is playing in the
living room and he comes back from his hospital appointment
and then we look at him and say OK, what did the doctor say?
And he's almost laughing and saying the doctor said I have
cancer. Are you kidding me?
How are you laughing and saying such a serious thing?
(11:32):
I've got cancer. He says no and exactly how I am
saying he was saying no, really,I've got cancer.
I said, are you mad? You're you're laughing and
telling me you've got cancer. I mean, are you serious?
He says, yes, I'm absolutely serious.
The doctor told me I've got cancer.
And I think that one night none of us slept.
(11:54):
None of us slept because there were so many questions and, you
know, possibilities that keep coming to your mind.
What if this happens and what have that happened that we were
only 31, We were 31 and you know, her son was 1 1/2 year
(12:15):
old. You have your whole life ahead
of you. And here is the, you know, the
first hurdle that comes in our life is the size of a meteorite,
you know? Yeah.
Yeah. What?
Where do you know? You just don't know what to
think and what to feel and how to feel.
And so the that night was the toughest one.
And then, you know, it was our holiday to India was planned a
(12:37):
week later. So, you know, because both our
fathers were doctors, we decided, OK, let's come to India
and then have a further test andyou know, kind of do the
staging, do the diagnosis of what kind of cancer he has.
And let's start the treatment here in India.
And then we will see. Because obviously you've got no
support system in, in a country like UK, you don't even have
(13:01):
somebody who's going to come to clean your house, let alone all
the other things you can think about.
So, you know, that was the firsttime that, you know, that
cancer, he has cancer was kind of, you know, came to the front
and, and it was a it was a toughnight for all of us.
Yeah. And how do you think that time
(13:23):
shaped you, and how do you thinkit has shaped Ishan, even though
he was so young? I think for Ishan, I can't say
it was a shaping at that moment because it made him go a little
quiet because he couldn't express anything he was feeling.
(13:43):
Because what would happen is Prashanth would go to the
hospital 3 weeks, 4 weeks, he's in hospital and suddenly he
comes back with no hair, no eyebrows, no eyelashes.
And so it sounds like Daddy but doesn't look like Daddy, you
know? So it just confuses as a child
who's two, 2 1/2 years old. And this went on for three
years. So it was, it was a big part of
(14:05):
his childhood that, you know, that trauma we were dealing
with. And you know, for him, I'm glad
he doesn't remember it. He doesn't remember those times.
He doesn't remember much about that time.
It's only what we tell him now that he remembers.
And I'm glad for it because if he did, if he was a little older
and he did remember everything, I can't say for sure that it
(14:28):
would have shaped him in a manner that was going to bring
the best out of him. It could have gone anywhere
because he did have, you know, he would be.
When we settled him in school, it took forever.
He had, you know, a lot of anxiety around separation with
parents. And he became very quiet and
(14:49):
withdrawn at that time. So I can't say that it shaped
him for the good. But I think what shaped him
better was when everything kind of normalized and we moved away
from London and then to Singapore.
That's when Ishant unblossomed, you know, it's when he had that
sense of normalcy and like everything was normal and we
(15:09):
were doing what every family does.
And I think that's where what defined him later.
I'm glad that that period did not, does not define him, you
know, because it was tough on tough on Ishan because as kids
they're not allowed in the worldwhere the chemotherapy is going
going on. Only kids above 12 are allowed
(15:31):
in the ward. So I always needed somebody to
accompany me with Ishan who would sit outside in the family
ward with him while I go and seePrashanth.
Because while my inlaws would come to UK, there were various
periods where we were on our ownbecause the visa requirements
(15:52):
were such that they could only say six months of the year in UK
and six months just go by if youare in a three-year, you know,
battle. And so that's when we really
heavily relied on friends. And As for me, you know, you
were asking how I felt and how it shaped me.
(16:13):
I think you realize for yourselfthat you have a strength you
never imagined you had. And I get asked this question a
lot, that you must have been very brave.
And you know, how brave of you. And I say, what choice did I
have? Right.
You've got to put 1 foot in front of the other and carry on
day-to-day and you know week on week because you've got a child
(16:35):
who's looking at you for normalcy.
You've got your in laws who are watching their son go through
this illness and he's a doctor, so he knows exactly what can be
the outcome if this does not go our way.
And then I have my parents who are sitting here in India and my
siblings and Prashanth siblings in India who are helpless
(16:58):
because they only hear what's happening.
They cannot see him. They cannot be there for us.
And that helplessness is, you know, the single biggest factor
that makes them really frustrated with the with the
situation. So, you know, for me, there was,
it was no option. Everybody was looking at me for
strength. I had been strong for Prashanth
(17:19):
so that he could focus on just getting better.
I had to be strong for Rashan, so he feels like everything is
OK. I had to be strong for the rest
of the family that, you know, we've got this and that there is
to hold on to faith and you knowthat there is light and at the
end of the tunnel and we'll get through this.
So all those factors really didn't leave or, you know, you
(17:44):
kind of shut out what you're feeling, right?
That's the only way to cope, Youknow, when that you carrying the
weight of everyone's, you know, responsibility on your
shoulders. It's a lot of weight and it
tends to, you know, you just canI, I shouldn't say generalize
it. I tend to internalize that and,
(18:06):
you know, just leave myself withthose thoughts and not kind of,
you know, let others know whether I'm anxious or if I'm
afraid or, you know, what I'm feeling because I just feel like
it's a burden that I'm adding toalready a tense situation.
I think the only time, you know,through the journey that
Prashanth and I had a very candid talk where Prashanth
(18:29):
said, OK, what if I don't make through this?
Would you get married again? And I said, look, you know, I
don't want to. I can't say yes and no on such a
question. Hypothetical question.
For now, all I can say is that Ishan is very young and I need
you to be around him. So, you know, we've got to do
(18:51):
everything to fight this, and that's the only option.
You have to fight till whatever shred of strength you have
because your family will need you.
Your son is too young. I'm worried he'll never remember
you. Yeah.
So you've got to find because that's what you're fighting for
this, you know, you will not even be a memory for him.
(19:11):
And I don't want that for the for my son.
You know, I will. I will manage.
I will have to carry on. And then we'll do what happens
in the future. That's immaterial.
But when I think of a 1 1/2 yearold child who if he had to be
without a father then would not remember his father for sure.
(19:32):
So that was the time, only time,when we had this, you know,
conversation around dying. Other than that, we have never
let that thought creep into our head because that, you know,
your mind does amazing things toyour body and that you don't
even realize. And so that is really where, you
(19:55):
know, you've got to really find courage and strength.
And I think it helps because we come from defence background
that you kind of own up in an environment which kind of
promotes that kind of, you know,sort of personality of being
brave and strong and courageous.So so I think all of that that
you grow up with kind of comes into play and you really
(20:18):
understand the metal of your owncharacter.
You know so and you know then that beyond this you are ready
to face whatever comes and then it gives you that strength and
believe that you will face whatever life throws at you.
Yeah, yeah, Also, I'm I'm also curious about your parenting
(20:38):
journey through those years. Meghna.
I am, you know, I'm, I'm just guessing that it would be more
like a single parent than, you know, both of you parenting
together and such heavy times. And while you had to keep things
gentle and safe for the little Ishan, how was that?
(20:59):
You know, how were you managing both at emotional level and also
on the logistical level? Because you said you were alone.
So I think that on an emotional level, I always made sure that
Ishan never felt, never saw me cry, never saw us upset,
including our my in laws. We never ever had any
(21:19):
conversation around anything that was negative to to
Prashanth, maybe the hardest times, but we never let him
feel. It was always business as usual
when it comes to to, you know, Ishan growing up during those
times. I think, you know, we spent
(21:41):
three months of Prashanth's initial treatment of three
months started here in India. So he had grandparents, he had
my siblings, cousins and there was a little bit of support
system. I think that we felt that part
more when we went back to Londonto carry on the rest of the
treatment. And at that time, I think it was
(22:05):
important for, you know, whenever my in laws were there
and when I was alone to keep things as normal at home as
possible. But you know something, Neha,
that I always look back and I remember, you know, people
record milestones of their kids.Yeah.
Nile, today I don't have any memory of that.
I don't have any memory of any of his milestones.
(22:28):
And I've, that's the most bad that I feel about that.
You know, as a parent, I can't go back and think of milestones
because I just do not remember any milestones of Ishan because
he kind of, you know, his growing up years kind of faded
into the background a little because finance health took
(22:48):
priority and the logistics took priority, you know, going to the
hospital. And so my, when my father-in-law
and mother-in-law were there, wewould take turns and we would go
to the hospital and, you know, the house needs to be cleaned,
the cooking needs to be done, the groceries need to be
shopped. So, you know, you get caught up
in those things. But I made sure that, you know,
(23:11):
I had quality time with Ishan beyond just these logistics
because that's was the only way that he would feel secure.
You had we do. At that time, the insecurity
level was so high that we had todo everything to make sure Ishan
is secure. Yeah.
And at that time, even Ishan's school was amazing.
(23:34):
They they knew what was happening at home and then so it
was a little school close to home.
And they did an amazing job withIshan to kind of look after his
emotional and mental well-being at school, you know, and, and
you know, that really that understanding from them and the
(23:55):
friends and family really made adifference that, you know, at
that time when I couldn't be, you know, even though I was just
feeling like a single parent, even in a single parent, I
wasn't 100%, you know, because you are kind of split in so many
parts that you were probably giving 3040% of yourself to your
(24:18):
child, you know, and you can't help it.
The situation is such that thereis very little you can do to
control that part. And you can't really beat
yourself down for my child. You just cannot go back and, and
you cannot think like that because you really are trying to
(24:38):
get through day by day. So I never beat myself down.
I never put that kind of pressure on myself and sometimes
to go through these, you have tobe kind to yourself.
You know, that is such an important thing.
You have to be kind to yourself and remember that you did every
(25:00):
the best you can given the circumstances and wasn't more
that you could have done withoutbeing burnt out.
Yes, yes. So that much that's, I mean,
that is also something no you with all that happening, you
could give the quality time, youcould ensure that, you know,
(25:20):
life went on as usual. And I think that is the
important part that people forget, you know, to be kind to
themselves. And in hard circumstances, you
know, we all strive to be 100% at work, 100% at home, 100% for
kids. But you just can't because that,
you know, you're forgetting that100% is is you as well.
(25:43):
And then what happens to you when you give everything and
you're just giving, giving, giving, You will burn out.
Yeah. So, so that's what, you know, I
felt like I did whatever I couldbest at that time.
And I yes, I regret that I don'tremember these milestones of
(26:04):
Ishan growing up, but I'm not going to beat myself about it
because you know what, there'll be other milestones to celebrate
that we will do together as three of us as a family and
extended family. So you know what, it's a small
price to pay when he laughed forthe first time when he, you
know, started walking or when hesaid the first was it.
(26:24):
It's going to just fade in the shadow at the end and and you
will have more new memories to create.
And I'm going to be happy with that.
And I'd love to know more about Ishan Meghna, What's he like,
what state of life he's in, and what makes you light up when you
talk about him? No, he's just, I mean, if I can
(26:45):
and my probably my saying anything about him is going to
sound biased, but he's always been a joy.
He's always been a joy because he's undemanding.
He is mature for his age. He's, you know, the most gentle,
the most kind boy that you will come across.
(27:07):
He'll be the, you know, if his friends are hurt, he'll be the
first one to pick them up, you know, and, and he's that kind of
personality. You will never hear a bad thing
about anybody from him. You will never hear that he
started a fight or he hit someone for that matter.
And you know, he he won't be that aggressive boy teenager
(27:30):
that you know, you kind of associate growing boys growing
up to be. And you know, he's diligent, he
is disciplined, he is organized,he is helpful.
I mean, the amount of work around the house that he does
for me, I say, you know, Prashant, I have to babysit you
more than I have to do my child.And, and he's going to turn 19
(27:55):
in July. And, you know, when he was
finishing school last year, so our conversation was around what
do you want to do and career anduniversity.
And he said, you know what, I want to do hospitality as well,
like both of you. And, and he said, look, you
know, by all means, but you do work in a hotel, you go work in
(28:18):
a hotel because by staying in a hotel, you're not going to get
that idea whether you like hotels because it's very
different things, staying in a hotel as a guest and working in
a hotel as a guest. And so he did 2 1/2 weeks in, in
one of the hotels that Prashanth, you know, works for
and he loved it. And so he said, you know what,
(28:40):
just go ahead. So he's studying at Indian
School of Hospitality in Manesar, studying hospitality
management. He's doing a BBA in hospitality.
And in fact, in July, he's goingto come up with his for his
internship in a hotel. So, you know, for five months, 5
1/2 months, he's going to work in a hotel full time.
(29:02):
So it's going to be an interesting journey.
But he he's a very gentle, soft spoken guy who's, you know, has
a kind word to say about everyone.
And, you know, at the end, I think that what he's, you know,
everybody tells me that he's such a lovely boy and he see, he
(29:24):
is what he sees. And I think that's what it is.
It's not about what you teach your child, but what you show by
example that that shapes, you know, the child.
And while, you know, everybody tries to give us credit for how
he's turned out, but sometimes Ifeel like you can't really take
credit altogether because there is an inherent nature of a
(29:46):
child. You know, like you cannot force
an unorganized or a or a, you know, indisciplined child.
Similarly, you can't do otherwise, you know, somebody
who's authentically disciplined and has dried.
You can't undo that. You know, we always say, you
know Ishant for us. It's OK.
(30:14):
That's such a nice thing to say,to be able to say.
Yes, trust me, I'm happy that this way complain.
And, and you know, you parented across countries, you know,
London, Singapore, then India. How has it been seeing the
(30:39):
parenting culture across countries in each place and then
kind of adapting, kind of creating your own, you know,
culture. How has it been?
So I think, you know, I would like to call ourselves global
citizens, you know, because we've lived outside for a long
(30:59):
time. I think it was almost 20 years
and till Ishan came to study andlive in Gurgaon in 2020, he'd
never lived in II was only a place of holiday.
And so, you know, his experienceof India was through a different
lens. And right now when he started
going to school here, it was quite different.
(31:21):
So what he knew from childhood was UK.
And, you know, sometimes you will realize that when you live
abroad, you have to adapt to some of that culture because,
you know, like if there are certain things that are done in
a certain manner, because, you know, the friends follow that,
they tend to feel more inclusivewhen you follow some of the same
(31:43):
things. So while we celebrated Diwali,
we also did a little decoration for Christmas because, you know,
then everybody else has that andhe doesn't want to kind of the
kids don't understand why we don't have Christmas
decorations. And then and then we always
said, and because we grew up in the Army, we celebrated all
festivals. And we've kind of maintained
that that we've tried to give him a global vision of what, you
(32:07):
know, culture and life. And so we've never tried to 1
hold on to everything that was only Indian.
You take best of each culture and you go along.
So something like, you know, when Ishan was born and the
midwife said, you know, till thechild is like 1 year old, don't
give him salt, sugar. And and then that's kind of, if
(32:29):
you grew up in India, you would never have that.
You know, the number of times that I would get, my God, you're
not giving him salt. However he tasted, he doesn't
know. Yeah, he doesn't know.
So it's OK. So, you know, you're kind of
have to be the judge and and decide what bits of the other
culture that you are living in that you want to take or the
(32:50):
simple facts. Sleeping at a certain time.
We tend to in India, kids kind of decide when they want to
sleep and we don't kind of till the kids don't go to school.
We let them follow whatever routine they want to.
But it's not the case outside because, you know, kids are
going to daycare because parentsare working, they need to sleep
(33:11):
at a certain time because the household has to get ready at a
certain time. So we've maintained some of that
discipline part of it. You know, Singapore again, you
know, he was thrown in an Asian culture where, you know, there's
a lot of similar things to to India as well, you know, and you
know how the Chinese culture goes, there is some bit of
(33:34):
similarities between India and China.
So him seeing Chinese New Year, seeing the lion dance for the
first time, those are experiences that are invaluable
and immeasurable, you know, and then that's what our takeaways.
We travel so much during our time in Singapore and that
really kind of broadens your horizon and opens up your mind
(33:58):
to, you know, different culturesand, and you become a sponge
who's learning, you know, from everyone.
And that's really what we wantedto do is that the idea of living
abroad and when you are in this throne in these different
cultures is you got to be a sponge and, and pick up, you
know, the nuances that really make a culture rich and absorb
(34:21):
it because it makes you grow as a person as well.
And that's what we tried to do. Yeah.
And what made you, you know, come back to India?
And how was it for Ishan? Because, I mean, adjustment is
tough at any age, but especiallyfor a teenager who's never lived
in India. You know, coming back to India,
(34:44):
so Prashanth found a job and, you know, and then it required
us to move to, to Gurgaon. So and we had been out of India
for nearly 20 years and it just felt the right time to, to come
to India. And I, you know, we knew that if
we didn't move by 2020, we can'tmove because then, you know,
(35:07):
Ishan will enter the last four years of school, which, you
know, ideally should be in one place.
So when we came, it was tough for him to settle because he's
like, the first reaction was mom, the names are so hard here.
And that's the you never think about that.
You see, for you, you've grown up in India, you've studied in
(35:28):
India. You're just used to these
Sanskrit names. But then you see from his point
of view, from a Tommy, Danny, you know, Rob, those nails, you
are in, you know, Sanskrit nails.
Arhan, Ahan, you know, I take all those complicated names and
he's like, mom, the names are sohard.
(35:48):
And I was like, you know what, Ishan, I get it.
But then I think there was a little bit of, you know, like, I
won't say hardcore bullying, butsome bit of, you know, any a new
kid on the block because he he'sIndian, but he has a British
accent. So he always gets picked up, you
(36:10):
know, because of that, that, youknow, why do you have this
accent kind of thing. So but I think that having the
lockdown and then being, you know, being at home and
attending, going to school through virtually and having
that time together as a family kind of helped him ease into the
(36:31):
life in Gurgaon. And then when everybody did go
back to school, it was like almost every day's everybody's
first day at school. It kind of levelled the playing
field for him. He was no more the the new kid.
You know, the sections had shuffled and all of that
happened and, you know, they were entering into grade 10,
which had the board exams. So and then he kind of found his
(36:55):
own and, you know, felt like he fit in or he found his feet and
he was fine. But yeah, there was a little bit
of adjustment, which, you know, luckily the lockdown had brought
many negative things with it. But I think it got that positive
thing for us where, you know, wegot a lot of family time.
(37:16):
Yeah, yeah. And Meghna, I want to talk about
you now. Where are you now?
Emotionally, personally, professionally in this chapter
of motherhood. So, you know, I consciously made
a choice to step out of hotels once, you know, the COVID was
over and you know, I was becauseI never had a chance to look for
(37:40):
work. When we moved from Singapore, we
came so quickly into the lockdown that I never got that
chance. And so when I did, you know,
when I was looking to go back towork, I knew that Ishan was in a
stage where he needed, you know,me because you don't.
(38:00):
I'm not going to teach him. I'm not going to sit and make
him study. But he needs that emotional and
physical well-being, you know, OK, have you eaten?
Do you need anything while you're studying?
You know, how are you feeling? Are you nervous?
Are you kind of feeling ready for the exams?
And there are so many exams and so many uncertainties at that
time. Then I felt I had to be present
(38:21):
for him during that time. So I, you know, made the choice
to kind of take a step back. I can go into a role that didn't
require so much of my time at work.
If I had gone back to hotels, itwould have been back to that
grind where it's long hours, possibly doing weekends.
So I wanted to take up a job that would give me that weekends
(38:45):
of public holidays of and then give me a little bit of work
life balance. And that's when I decided to
move into the FMCG, you know, space as as admin and facilities
manager for for my company. And you know, I enjoy what I'm
doing because I do it for the joy of working.
(39:06):
I haven't been that. I've always allowed my career to
be at the back burner because I felt like Prashanth's career and
job were demanding as is. And you know, then to add
another hotelier in the mix would really make us absent
parents, not just no work life balance.
(39:29):
I think it would make us absent parents.
And I didn't want that for for Ishan.
It was bad enough that I always joke with Prashant.
Prashant, you've seen our son growing up lying down, you know,
so you know, it would have addedtwo of us in that mix.
And I didn't want them to go only around helpers and or call
(39:49):
grandparents and say, now you raise a kid.
I was very conscious of that fact that I had my mother
growing up around us. And I want to be that that
parent who is around and available for for our son so.
You know, work wise, I want to work with the joy of working
and, and I enjoy what I do and Iput myself into whatever I will
(40:12):
choose to do or whatever I've chose to do so far.
So, you know, it's, it's fulfilling for me that I am, I
am defined by beyond being a mother and a wife, you know, and
then that important to me to have my independence, financial
and otherwise. And so that was the important
part for me as far as you know, personally it because I think,
(40:36):
you know, my life experiences and age, you know, my husband
and I celebrating our 50th birthdays this year.
So. So yeah, we have our milestone
birthdays coming up. And I have, I have, I feel like
I have become that person who does thing for myself.
Yeah. I don't do it to please the
(40:56):
world. I don't do even to please my son
or my husband. I will do you know what makes me
happy and what I feel is, is important for me to do for
myself. I, I, you know, as much as as
women and as a mother and a wife.
I do things for family and I do things for Ishan and Prashanth
(41:18):
and probably parents. But I also take a little time to
do something for myself or keep,you know, do things that make me
happy. Yeah.
And I think, you know, I've always consciously tried not to
lose my identity at any point. And then that's really been that
I'm very content in my, in my, and I'm very happy in my own
(41:42):
skin. I don't, you know, I don't judge
myself and I'm not critical of myself.
You know, I'm, I'm a little moreforgiving with age, you know,
and, and the fact that now that I'm in that menopause stage, I
think I'm a little more forgiving to, to myself.
And I'm, and really that's the mantra that, you know, it's very
easy to critique yourself and beyour biggest critic, but it's
(42:06):
that much harder to be kind to yourself.
You can be kind to the world, but you're not kind to yourself
or your body or listen to your body.
And you have this, you know, Oh my God, I didn't do my 10,000
steps. Oh my God, I didn't drink that
those 3 liters of water. Oh my God, I'm not having those
super foods or Oh my God, I needto lose 5 lbs.
(42:26):
I don't put that pressure on myself.
I always say balanced life in any regard is is what you
sustainable? So that's what.
Is this is this always been you or is it like some?
You know, there is a little bit of thought you have to teach
yourself this. I can't say that it's always
(42:48):
been like that. There are, you know, times when
you are. Yeah, sort of, you feel, you
know, you're not your best version.
But I think as, as I have kind of moved in the world through
different countries, I've realized that, you know, and and
(43:09):
by looking at different people, a range of people, I I kind of
tell myself I'm good enough. Yeah, I'm good enough.
And you know, there are a lot ofpeople who'd given an arm and a
leg to be in my life. Yeah.
And in my position, or even us as a family in our position
that, you know, so many people don't survive the disease that
(43:32):
my husband has managed to survive and come out successful
on the other end. So, you know, those life
experiences have taught me that,you know, I am enough and I'm, I
am, you know, work. So.
So a little bit is taught and a little bit is inherently that I
don't care about what the world asks me to do.
(43:53):
And I can't be asked to do something.
That's, that's the Sagittarius in me is, you know, that
stubbornness that I will do whatI feel is right and what allows
me to sleep at night. So.
So. Yeah.
And what is an ordinary day in your life look like these days?
So, you know, since I work from the office, it's, it's today is
(44:16):
one of those unusual days that I'm working from home, but I
usually don't work from home. So we, we have an early start of
the day and we know because through school that's always
been the pattern and it hasn't changed much even through
college. Ishan does have early starts
even now. And so, you know, I tend to take
out time to go for a walk in themorning before I come.
(44:38):
Then you know, we do breakfast, get ready and you know as time
maybe my son will leave first ormy son and I will leave 1st.
And then you know my husband if he's not travelling, then he's
generally the last one to leave the house.
And so we try to have breakfast together if it's possible.
And I sort of Ishan and I kind of come back almost at the same
(45:02):
time between like 5530 and then,you know, the day goes in kind
of dinner preps for dinner, having a little chit chat about
each other's day. And you know, if Prashanth comes
home on time and we go out for awalk, then it would be that.
(45:23):
Otherwise, you know, it will be planning for something that's
upcoming. So you know, the evenings are a
little relaxed at at home. And you know that since Shan is
in college, there aren't those activities that you have to
drive him around. So it's a little more relaxed
life for us in, in terms of, of having a grown up child who can,
you know, show for himself whatever needs is required.
(45:46):
So, and, you know, we are kind of preparing to be empty nesters
really, you know, because another few years and and it
would happen, you know, that Ishan will have his own life and
and and we it'll. But.
(46:09):
A new? A new start maybe?
Yeah, a new start. And now Prashanth keeps saying,
you know, maybe we should have apet.
I said, you know what, Prashanth?
I tell you, don't retire. I don't want to be responsible
for any living creature, whetherit's a pet who does not grow up
or even if it's a plant. I've raised a child and then
that's that. I don't want to be responsible
(46:31):
for any living thing anymore. I think that's a.
That's a sentient call. This is a yeah, you know, and
then since a family is in all, our family is in Pune, so we try
to, you know, plan trips to see them and try to go for holidays,
(46:53):
which has been a bit difficult this year.
Somehow the three of us, we've not been able to manage our
calendars to synchronize and have a have a week where we can
go away. But you know, we're working
towards that. I also want to know, you know, I
mean, taking you back to the initial days of your parenting,
(47:16):
you know, you mentioned that while in India there was a
support system in terms of, you know, there is an ecosystem in
place. But when you were in London,
especially going through the treatment, what does your
support system look like? Who?
Or what has helped you feel heldin your journey through this
(47:38):
time? Definitely family and friends.
I've relied so heavily on familyand friends.
You know, my father-in-law gave up his job.
He'd already retired from the Air Force, but then he was
working for another hospital andhe decided to give that up and
spend 6 months of the year for the next three years with us in
(47:59):
London. So they were definitely a big,
big help. And we have an amazing set of
friends in London and, you know,we were lucky that we had many
of them. So, you know, I can't tell you
the amount that friends have helped me to babysit, to come
build my furniture when I neededsomething, to just give me
(48:22):
company, you know. And then Prashanth's work
colleagues were amazing through this journey in London.
They would bring him food baskets to the hospital, not
just for him, for the nurses as well.
You know, when it was Mother's Day, they would send a hamper to
me at home, you know, so, so, and then while Prashanth was in
(48:45):
the hospital, they made such a lovely scrapbook for him where
there were pictures of everyone that he worked with and they had
all signed a message for him. And so, you know, the, the
really the generosity of our friends and people around us and
our work colleagues, what reallysupported us, that they have
(49:06):
been there with us through thickand thin, whatever we needed.
And, you know, the amazing set of doctors, you know, both in
London and here, you know, we couldn't have done it without
them. You know, they're just and the
nurses, you know, who were looking after Prashanth at the
hospital, that allowed me to sleep easy because I know that
(49:28):
he was well looked after. You know it.
Everything helps. Everything, every little helps
at that time. Yeah, yeah.
And also in your parenting journey, you know, now that we
are looking back, can you think of a moment when you felt maybe
completely overwhelmed as a parents and a parent, singular
(49:48):
parent? And how did you get through it?
You know, I remember this instance and it it wasn't so
much as being a single parent kind of overwhelming.
It was another, you know, it wasthat when your life struggle
(50:08):
that you're going through at that point, it hits home.
So Prashanth had had a autologous transplant.
So what happens is when you know, you kind of when the
cancer is in the bone marrow, you tend to the first instance
the doctor takes, you know, yourown cells from your body and try
(50:29):
to almost like if your laptop froze and you do a long hard
press to reboot it, it was almost like a reboot of your, of
your frozen, you know, screen. And that is a very tough
treatment because they have to really kill all your blood cells
in order for that reboot to happen.
(50:49):
And so after four weeks of goingthrough that horrendous
treatment, Prashanth came home and Ishan was sleeping at that
time. So and it had already been four
weeks that he'd not been not seen Ishan.
So I went up to bring Ishan downwho had just woken up and he was
on my hip and Prashanth was sitting and my father-in-law
(51:11):
sitting and I was standing in front of Prashanth.
And then Prashanth kind of called out to Ishan that hi
Ishan. And Ishan just turned his head
and hidden his face and my neck.Because, you know, at that time,
in that four weeks, Prashanth had lost his hair, his eyebrows,
eyelashes. He had almost changed colour
(51:33):
because some of those drugs havea little colour in it.
And he was almost like, like lobster red, if you like, you
know. And he just hid his head in my
neck as if he was meeting a stranger.
And then, you know, as Prashanthspoke more, he realized it was
Prashanth. But that really is the moment
(51:54):
where really my heart broke thatday.
You know, it was close to Ishan's third birthday when this
happened. And it really, I think it really
hit us home of all the dramatic changes that we've had in our
life where Ishan could not recognize Prashanth in that
instance. So, so yeah, that was that was a
(52:15):
tough one. And on the flip side, is there a
small, maybe forgettable on the surface moment that felt like
magic? You know, one of one of
Prashanth was still going through his treatment, but that
magical moment came. But it didn't last however.
(52:36):
But it came when Prashanth for the first, after the first six
months of chemo, he was given the all clear.
It was a temporary, a temporary happiness, but the joy of being
given an all clear after six round, six months, that means 12
rounds of chemotherapy was amazing.
(52:56):
And then we came to India for a holiday and we sat in a BBQ with
the doctors here who are treating him.
And then that really was precious because we didn't know
then that we had two years more of struggle to to, you know, to
come. But that was that was a great
joy when he was given the all clear.
(53:18):
And I think the second other joyous moment was when we found
a donor because Prashant went through an unrelated donor
transplant. So the doctors had to find an
unrelated 100% match donor. And the day that was found was
another day we felt like, okay, we got this so we can make
(53:39):
through, we can get through this.
Yeah, yeah, but I'm, you know, this this conversation has been
a series of bumps and but but I'm getting goosebumps.
I'm forgetting my lines. But let me ask you one more
reflective question. If you could sit across your pre
parent cells just before you became a mother, what would you
(54:03):
say to her? I would say good on you that you
took the time I took. We took eight years to after I
managed to have Ishan and I would say good on you to take
that decision to wait, because Ithink that, you know, you need
to Planned Parenthood when you're ready.
(54:23):
Yeah, when you're ready. Because had I been in India, you
know, one year into the marriage, we would have been
asked that question. No.
When are you having a child? When are you having a child?
And I'm so you know, I would tell our pre parent selves that
good on you, that you waited, that you secured, you know, a
house in London before you went in for a child because you know,
(54:45):
you see what we went through would have been tougher without
it. Right.
And, and you know, the fact thatit was going to be 3 years is an
enormity. You know, that does not you
don't realize until you sit backand look back.
And, and so I, I would say good on you that you waited for eight
(55:08):
years before you had a Shan. You secured your, you know, you
had secured jobs. You had spent enough time in
those jobs that they supported us through that illness and that
you secured a house before you, you had him, you know, had a
sham. So yeah, that's what I would
say. And, you know, I would also say
(55:30):
that everything that you've learned so far is going to be
tested, you know, in different ways.
Every life experience, every sort of battle wound that you,
that life gives you, everything comes into play.
Yeah, you know, in your life journey.
(55:52):
Yeah, yeah. Wow.
That's, that's so, that's so good to hear.
But my last question to you for today, Meghna, what do you hope
Ishan takes with him from all that he's seen and lived with
you? Hope that Ishan, you know,
always sees the glass as half full.
(56:14):
I hope that Ishan always has faith that you know he will he
we have his back. That Ishan treasures his
friendships, chooses his friendswisely.
That he, you know, stays ambitious because, you know, in
(56:37):
today's world, it's very easy for kids like Ishan who are
single child child coming from aplace of privilege to not be
ambitious. And, and I would ask him to be
the kind self that he's not. Let world, you know, remove some
(57:00):
of that shine or tell him that it's not cool to be kind and be
generous and graceful. I would hope that, you know,
being a good human being above everything else should matter.
Yeah. Has anyone ever told you that
you you were very poetic in yourarticulation?
(57:23):
Not, not really. Probably because I'm not in a
not in a profession where I needto talk so much about myself.
But I really, really feel so. You talk so beautifully, You
choose words with such thought and care and it's very it's,
(57:44):
it's a pleasure listening to you.
Thank you. Neil No, but, but I'm I'm really
happy that we got to do this. And and, you know, it's
sometimes nice to even, it givesconversations like this make you
reflect on your life, which you don't really do that often, you
know? Yeah, yeah, Meghna, thank you
(58:08):
for showing up with such honestyand warmth.
What you've shared today is the kind kind of quiet strength that
often doesn't get spoken about enough, the way we keep going
even when the ground shakes beneath us.
And your story, I think, is a reminder that there is no one
way to be a good parent. But there is so much grace in
(58:28):
trying, adapting and staying open.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much, Neha. I really appreciate the chance
to have this conversation with you, and I hope that whoever
listens to this can take something away from it.
Yeah, absolutely. To our listeners, thank you, as
always, for being here. If this conversation stayed with
(58:50):
you, please do take a moment to subscribe, leave a review, or
share this episode with someone you love.
That's how we grow this circle of shared stories.
This has been parenthood. And I'm Neha, holding space for
the real and the raw, one story at a time.
See you next week.
Hello beautiful people, and welcome back to Parenthood.
I'm Neha, A fellow parent, a listener, a question asker, and
this is our shared space to slowdown TuneIn and listen to the
real lived experiences of parenting.
Every week would sit with someone who's walking this
winding path of being a parent with all the joy, fear,
(00:34):
exhaustion, growth, uncertainty,and deep love that it brings.
We talk about what's working, what's not, and everything in
between. This podcast is not about
perfect parenting advice, it's about real life.
It's about building a life whileraising a little human, or in
today's case, a not so little one.
(00:55):
My guest this week is someone who's lived a rich and Laird
parenting journey across countries, cultures and some
deeply personal trials. Meghna Kulkarni is a working
professional in the FMCG sector,a partner of 27 years to her
college sweetheart Prashant and a mother to 18 year old Ishan.
(01:18):
But Meghna's story isn't just about timelines and milestones.
It's about resilience, the kind you don't know you have until
life asks it for you. When Ishan was just a toddler,
Meghna's husband was diagnosed with stage 4 Hodkin's lymphoma.
What followed was a period of caregiving, uncertainty and deep
(01:40):
emotional juggling, all while parenting a child too young to
understand what was going on. Since then, they've lived in
London, moved to Singapore, and more recently, returned to India
in the middle of a global pandemic.
Through all the ships, Meghna has held her ground gently,
quietly, with her feet rooted inlove and her eyes always on the
(02:04):
Longview. Today, Meghna joins us not just
as a mother or a wife or a professional, but as a mother,
as a woman who's lived through big changes and has taken time
to reflect on them. Meghna, I'm so grateful to have
you here. Thank you for joining us.
And then thank you, Neha, for inviting me.
And I was, as I was saying to you earlier, I'm very happy to
(02:26):
share my life experiences. If that's, you know, even one
person gets help by what we havegone through as a family or I
have gone through as a parent and a wife.
I think you know, it's worth it.You know your life experiences
and all the grey hair you've collected along the way.
It's worth it. You know, that's that's so
(02:47):
generous of you. Thank you so much.
And let's start with you as a person before the roles.
If you had to describe yourself in just three words or phrases,
things that true, then feel trueto who you are, what would they
be? I think I am extremely
resilient. I'm someone who will persevere
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no matter what. And I think, you know, I am a
kind of person who is extremely loyal and will, you know, do
whatever it takes for family. So talking.
Of family tell us about your family what's your world made of
and. I am.
(03:31):
Very inspired Prashanth, 27 years, whole lifetime together.
How did you 2 meet? How has your relationship
evolved overtime? So as you know that Prashanth
and I were really babies when wemet.
So we met at IHM, Mumbai. I was 18, he was 19.
(03:52):
And about a year and a half after I joined college because
he was a year senior to me, we started dating.
And then since he was obviously a year senior, he passed out of
college a year ahead of me. And he started pursuing his
dream of being a chef and he joined Oberois.
And you know, he was doing his training while I was still
finishing my course at, at Mumbai.
(04:15):
And then as luck would have it, I ended up getting through
Oberois as well. And yeah, we both in our career
journey started the Oberois and then very quickly, I was 22, he
was 23, we got married. And you know, today when I look
back, I asked my parents, what the hell were you guys thinking
(04:38):
allowing 22 and 23 year old to get married?
But you know, I think it comes from a space where we were
mature enough, we were sure enough.
And then we came from very similar backgrounds.
So his father was is a doctor inthe Air Force.
My father was a doctor in the Army.
(04:58):
They knew each other since before we were even born or they
were even married. So, you know, I always say if
our parents had to look for a spouse for us and it was to be
an arranged marriage, they wouldn't have found anything
different. They would have exactly chosen
what we chose with each other. So I think that kind of gave up
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parents, you know, some assurance that we know what
we're doing because we came fromsuch similar backgrounds and and
then we've grown in a similar environment.
And I I always say we thank overus because they used to give us
accommodation as married couples.
So that's how we were able to get married.
(05:41):
So, so yeah, we got married in 1998 and then that's when we
started our married life in Mumbai.
We continued working for Robroysfor a while and then I moved
jobs and in 2001 we decided to go to Spain for a for a short
stint. So Prashanth opened an Indian
(06:03):
restaurant in South of Spain andwe did that for a year.
It was really an amazing experience.
Spain was great and living like one minute away from the
Mediterranean Sea was really great.
But at the same time, the business there is very seasonal.
So in the summer it's bustling and there's people and there's
(06:23):
excitement. But come winter it's really
boring. And as 28 year olds, you know,
we were like, oh God, this is feels like we are retired
already. So, you know, we said no, no,
no, this is not for us. So we came back and then we
moved to London where we spent 10 years and you know, that's
where our first car, first house, first, you know, child,
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everything, all of us kind of happened in London.
So London is almost like second home for us in that sense.
And that's when, you know, when our son was born in 2006.
And really from that point on after his birth is when
(07:04):
Prashanth started falling sick. And it took about 1 1/2 years
for him to be diagnosed that, you know, it was cancer because
the symptoms never, you don't actually really know what the
symptoms should be because all it was he was itching in his
arms and legs. And we were kind of going
through gluten allergies, skin biopsies, and then, you know, it
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just could not be caught. We did so many blood tests at
that time and going to specialist, but we just couldn't
figure out what was happening. And then 1 1/2 years later, he
got a lump in his neck where initially you kind of had to
press it down to feel it, but ina week's time, it was sitting
(07:50):
like a golf ball on his neck. So the itching that he was
having was purely because of thechemical that the cancer cells
release under your skin. So that's what was causing the
itching. And all somebody needed to kind
of think about was do a chest X-ray and we would have known
that he's having cancer. So that's when the three years
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of our, you know, fight and battle to survive.
Really, I can't even California call it cancer.
It was, it was a battle to survive because it was a very
aggressive cancer. When he was diagnosed, it was
already stage 4 in his bone marrow.
So it it was a very long and hard battle that, you know, each
one of us had to fight within our own sort of space and, and
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everything else that comes with fulfilling that role.
So whether it was my in laws, whether it was my parents,
whether it was our siblings, whether Prashanth himself, and
in some ways which probably Prashanth didn't understand,
then him as well. You know, as a 1 1/2, two year,
2 1/2 year old child, he had hisown battles to fight because he
(08:57):
couldn't understand what was happening.
And then by God's grace, you know, we overcame that battle
and, you know, being the winnerson the other side.
And that's when we moved to Singapore for seven years and,
you know, kind of life carried on normally.
And Touchwood, you know, we've had a fulfilling life.
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And then that is all in the past.
And we can look back and say, alright, you know, we survived.
Wait, I'm, I'm very interested to know now that you speak about
that time, when you think about that time now, what comes up
first for you? The emotions.
In terms of the emotions, the memories.
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You know, the memory is like it happened yesterday and you know,
I guess it's a woman's memory. It is as clear as, you know,
like yesterday and there are fewthings that are so imprinted in
my mind that I think I'm gonna, it's gonna stay with me till the
day I die. You know, there is one instance
where I clearly remember was thefirst talk of the C word that
(10:01):
happened in the house was, you know, so after the chest X-ray
that Prashanth had, because the doctors in UK suspected he may
have tuberculosis. So they sent him for an X-ray to
see if it is indeed tuberculosis.
Instead it came back to say thatit is cancer.
And the doctors know from the from the surgery came that can
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you go and see your GP on an urgent basis?
And I don't know what happened. And he decided to go by himself.
So he went to the doctors on hisown where the doctor gave him
the news that look, son, he was suffering from cancer and you
know, you got to get yourself through some chemotherapy and
(10:47):
through some tough times. Basically.
He comes back home and I remember in that the house in
London that we have it has 2 levels.
So he the dining room is what you kind of walk in and a five
steps down as the living room. So my mum was there because I
was still on. I had left my job and I was kind
of going to look for another onebecause, you know, ish mum was
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very young and I was travelling too much with this job.
So anyway I my mum and I are sitting and is playing in the
living room and he comes back from his hospital appointment
and then we look at him and say OK, what did the doctor say?
And he's almost laughing and saying the doctor said I have
cancer. Are you kidding me?
How are you laughing and saying such a serious thing?
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I've got cancer. He says no and exactly how I am
saying he was saying no, really,I've got cancer.
I said, are you mad? You're you're laughing and
telling me you've got cancer. I mean, are you serious?
He says, yes, I'm absolutely serious.
The doctor told me I've got cancer.
And I think that one night none of us slept.
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None of us slept because there were so many questions and, you
know, possibilities that keep coming to your mind.
What if this happens and what have that happened that we were
only 31, We were 31 and you know, her son was 1 1/2 year
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old. You have your whole life ahead
of you. And here is the, you know, the
first hurdle that comes in our life is the size of a meteorite,
you know? Yeah.
Yeah. What?
Where do you know? You just don't know what to
think and what to feel and how to feel.
And so the that night was the toughest one.
And then, you know, it was our holiday to India was planned a
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week later. So, you know, because both our
fathers were doctors, we decided, OK, let's come to India
and then have a further test andyou know, kind of do the
staging, do the diagnosis of what kind of cancer he has.
And let's start the treatment here in India.
And then we will see. Because obviously you've got no
support system in, in a country like UK, you don't even have
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somebody who's going to come to clean your house, let alone all
the other things you can think about.
So, you know, that was the firsttime that, you know, that
cancer, he has cancer was kind of, you know, came to the front
and, and it was a it was a toughnight for all of us.
Yeah. And how do you think that time
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shaped you, and how do you thinkit has shaped Ishan, even though
he was so young? I think for Ishan, I can't say
it was a shaping at that moment because it made him go a little
quiet because he couldn't express anything he was feeling.
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Because what would happen is Prashanth would go to the
hospital 3 weeks, 4 weeks, he's in hospital and suddenly he
comes back with no hair, no eyebrows, no eyelashes.
And so it sounds like Daddy but doesn't look like Daddy, you
know? So it just confuses as a child
who's two, 2 1/2 years old. And this went on for three
years. So it was, it was a big part of
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his childhood that, you know, that trauma we were dealing
with. And you know, for him, I'm glad
he doesn't remember it. He doesn't remember those times.
He doesn't remember much about that time.
It's only what we tell him now that he remembers.
And I'm glad for it because if he did, if he was a little older
and he did remember everything, I can't say for sure that it
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would have shaped him in a manner that was going to bring
the best out of him. It could have gone anywhere
because he did have, you know, he would be.
When we settled him in school, it took forever.
He had, you know, a lot of anxiety around separation with
parents. And he became very quiet and
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withdrawn at that time. So I can't say that it shaped
him for the good. But I think what shaped him
better was when everything kind of normalized and we moved away
from London and then to Singapore.
That's when Ishant unblossomed, you know, it's when he had that
sense of normalcy and like everything was normal and we
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were doing what every family does.
And I think that's where what defined him later.
I'm glad that that period did not, does not define him, you
know, because it was tough on tough on Ishan because as kids
they're not allowed in the worldwhere the chemotherapy is going
going on. Only kids above 12 are allowed
(15:31):
in the ward. So I always needed somebody to
accompany me with Ishan who would sit outside in the family
ward with him while I go and seePrashanth.
Because while my inlaws would come to UK, there were various
periods where we were on our ownbecause the visa requirements
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were such that they could only say six months of the year in UK
and six months just go by if youare in a three-year, you know,
battle. And so that's when we really
heavily relied on friends. And As for me, you know, you
were asking how I felt and how it shaped me.
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I think you realize for yourselfthat you have a strength you
never imagined you had. And I get asked this question a
lot, that you must have been very brave.
And you know, how brave of you. And I say, what choice did I
have? Right.
You've got to put 1 foot in front of the other and carry on
day-to-day and you know week on week because you've got a child
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who's looking at you for normalcy.
You've got your in laws who are watching their son go through
this illness and he's a doctor, so he knows exactly what can be
the outcome if this does not go our way.
And then I have my parents who are sitting here in India and my
siblings and Prashanth siblings in India who are helpless
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because they only hear what's happening.
They cannot see him. They cannot be there for us.
And that helplessness is, you know, the single biggest factor
that makes them really frustrated with the with the
situation. So, you know, for me, there was,
it was no option. Everybody was looking at me for
strength. I had been strong for Prashanth
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so that he could focus on just getting better.
I had to be strong for Rashan, so he feels like everything is
OK. I had to be strong for the rest
of the family that, you know, we've got this and that there is
to hold on to faith and you knowthat there is light and at the
end of the tunnel and we'll get through this.
So all those factors really didn't leave or, you know, you
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kind of shut out what you're feeling, right?
That's the only way to cope, Youknow, when that you carrying the
weight of everyone's, you know, responsibility on your
shoulders. It's a lot of weight and it
tends to, you know, you just canI, I shouldn't say generalize
it. I tend to internalize that and,
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you know, just leave myself withthose thoughts and not kind of,
you know, let others know whether I'm anxious or if I'm
afraid or, you know, what I'm feeling because I just feel like
it's a burden that I'm adding toalready a tense situation.
I think the only time, you know,through the journey that
Prashanth and I had a very candid talk where Prashanth
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said, OK, what if I don't make through this?
Would you get married again? And I said, look, you know, I
don't want to. I can't say yes and no on such a
question. Hypothetical question.
For now, all I can say is that Ishan is very young and I need
you to be around him. So, you know, we've got to do
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everything to fight this, and that's the only option.
You have to fight till whatever shred of strength you have
because your family will need you.
Your son is too young. I'm worried he'll never remember
you. Yeah.
So you've got to find because that's what you're fighting for
this, you know, you will not even be a memory for him.
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And I don't want that for the for my son.
You know, I will. I will manage.
I will have to carry on. And then we'll do what happens
in the future. That's immaterial.
But when I think of a 1 1/2 yearold child who if he had to be
without a father then would not remember his father for sure.
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So that was the time, only time,when we had this, you know,
conversation around dying. Other than that, we have never
let that thought creep into our head because that, you know,
your mind does amazing things toyour body and that you don't
even realize. And so that is really where, you
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know, you've got to really find courage and strength.
And I think it helps because we come from defence background
that you kind of own up in an environment which kind of
promotes that kind of, you know,sort of personality of being
brave and strong and courageous.So so I think all of that that
you grow up with kind of comes into play and you really
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understand the metal of your owncharacter.
You know so and you know then that beyond this you are ready
to face whatever comes and then it gives you that strength and
believe that you will face whatever life throws at you.
Yeah, yeah, Also, I'm I'm also curious about your parenting
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journey through those years. Meghna.
I am, you know, I'm, I'm just guessing that it would be more
like a single parent than, you know, both of you parenting
together and such heavy times. And while you had to keep things
gentle and safe for the little Ishan, how was that?
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You know, how were you managing both at emotional level and also
on the logistical level? Because you said you were alone.
So I think that on an emotional level, I always made sure that
Ishan never felt, never saw me cry, never saw us upset,
including our my in laws. We never ever had any
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conversation around anything that was negative to to
Prashanth, maybe the hardest times, but we never let him
feel. It was always business as usual
when it comes to to, you know, Ishan growing up during those
times. I think, you know, we spent
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three months of Prashanth's initial treatment of three
months started here in India. So he had grandparents, he had
my siblings, cousins and there was a little bit of support
system. I think that we felt that part
more when we went back to Londonto carry on the rest of the
treatment. And at that time, I think it was
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important for, you know, whenever my in laws were there
and when I was alone to keep things as normal at home as
possible. But you know something, Neha,
that I always look back and I remember, you know, people
record milestones of their kids.Yeah.
Nile, today I don't have any memory of that.
I don't have any memory of any of his milestones.
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And I've, that's the most bad that I feel about that.
You know, as a parent, I can't go back and think of milestones
because I just do not remember any milestones of Ishan because
he kind of, you know, his growing up years kind of faded
into the background a little because finance health took
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priority and the logistics took priority, you know, going to the
hospital. And so my, when my father-in-law
and mother-in-law were there, wewould take turns and we would go
to the hospital and, you know, the house needs to be cleaned,
the cooking needs to be done, the groceries need to be
shopped. So, you know, you get caught up
in those things. But I made sure that, you know,
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I had quality time with Ishan beyond just these logistics
because that's was the only way that he would feel secure.
You had we do. At that time, the insecurity
level was so high that we had todo everything to make sure Ishan
is secure. Yeah.
And at that time, even Ishan's school was amazing.
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They they knew what was happening at home and then so it
was a little school close to home.
And they did an amazing job withIshan to kind of look after his
emotional and mental well-being at school, you know, and, and
you know, that really that understanding from them and the
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friends and family really made adifference that, you know, at
that time when I couldn't be, you know, even though I was just
feeling like a single parent, even in a single parent, I
wasn't 100%, you know, because you are kind of split in so many
parts that you were probably giving 3040% of yourself to your
(24:18):
child, you know, and you can't help it.
The situation is such that thereis very little you can do to
control that part. And you can't really beat
yourself down for my child. You just cannot go back and, and
you cannot think like that because you really are trying to
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get through day by day. So I never beat myself down.
I never put that kind of pressure on myself and sometimes
to go through these, you have tobe kind to yourself.
You know, that is such an important thing.
You have to be kind to yourself and remember that you did every
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the best you can given the circumstances and wasn't more
that you could have done withoutbeing burnt out.
Yes, yes. So that much that's, I mean,
that is also something no you with all that happening, you
could give the quality time, youcould ensure that, you know,
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life went on as usual. And I think that is the
important part that people forget, you know, to be kind to
themselves. And in hard circumstances, you
know, we all strive to be 100% at work, 100% at home, 100% for
kids. But you just can't because that,
you know, you're forgetting that100% is is you as well.
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And then what happens to you when you give everything and
you're just giving, giving, giving, You will burn out.
Yeah. So, so that's what, you know, I
felt like I did whatever I couldbest at that time.
And I yes, I regret that I don'tremember these milestones of
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Ishan growing up, but I'm not going to beat myself about it
because you know what, there'll be other milestones to celebrate
that we will do together as three of us as a family and
extended family. So you know what, it's a small
price to pay when he laughed forthe first time when he, you
know, started walking or when hesaid the first was it.
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It's going to just fade in the shadow at the end and and you
will have more new memories to create.
And I'm going to be happy with that.
And I'd love to know more about Ishan Meghna, What's he like,
what state of life he's in, and what makes you light up when you
talk about him? No, he's just, I mean, if I can
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and my probably my saying anything about him is going to
sound biased, but he's always been a joy.
He's always been a joy because he's undemanding.
He is mature for his age. He's, you know, the most gentle,
the most kind boy that you will come across.
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He'll be the, you know, if his friends are hurt, he'll be the
first one to pick them up, you know, and, and he's that kind of
personality. You will never hear a bad thing
about anybody from him. You will never hear that he
started a fight or he hit someone for that matter.
And you know, he he won't be that aggressive boy teenager
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that you know, you kind of associate growing boys growing
up to be. And you know, he's diligent, he
is disciplined, he is organized,he is helpful.
I mean, the amount of work around the house that he does
for me, I say, you know, Prashant, I have to babysit you
more than I have to do my child.And, and he's going to turn 19
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in July. And, you know, when he was
finishing school last year, so our conversation was around what
do you want to do and career anduniversity.
And he said, you know what, I want to do hospitality as well,
like both of you. And, and he said, look, you
know, by all means, but you do work in a hotel, you go work in
(28:18):
a hotel because by staying in a hotel, you're not going to get
that idea whether you like hotels because it's very
different things, staying in a hotel as a guest and working in
a hotel as a guest. And so he did 2 1/2 weeks in, in
one of the hotels that Prashanth, you know, works for
and he loved it. And so he said, you know what,
(28:40):
just go ahead. So he's studying at Indian
School of Hospitality in Manesar, studying hospitality
management. He's doing a BBA in hospitality.
And in fact, in July, he's goingto come up with his for his
internship in a hotel. So, you know, for five months, 5
1/2 months, he's going to work in a hotel full time.
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So it's going to be an interesting journey.
But he he's a very gentle, soft spoken guy who's, you know, has
a kind word to say about everyone.
And, you know, at the end, I think that what he's, you know,
everybody tells me that he's such a lovely boy and he see, he
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is what he sees. And I think that's what it is.
It's not about what you teach your child, but what you show by
example that that shapes, you know, the child.
And while, you know, everybody tries to give us credit for how
he's turned out, but sometimes Ifeel like you can't really take
credit altogether because there is an inherent nature of a
(29:46):
child. You know, like you cannot force
an unorganized or a or a, you know, indisciplined child.
Similarly, you can't do otherwise, you know, somebody
who's authentically disciplined and has dried.
You can't undo that. You know, we always say, you
know Ishant for us. It's OK.
(30:14):
That's such a nice thing to say,to be able to say.
Yes, trust me, I'm happy that this way complain.
And, and you know, you parented across countries, you know,
London, Singapore, then India. How has it been seeing the
(30:39):
parenting culture across countries in each place and then
kind of adapting, kind of creating your own, you know,
culture. How has it been?
So I think, you know, I would like to call ourselves global
citizens, you know, because we've lived outside for a long
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time. I think it was almost 20 years
and till Ishan came to study andlive in Gurgaon in 2020, he'd
never lived in II was only a place of holiday.
And so, you know, his experienceof India was through a different
lens. And right now when he started
going to school here, it was quite different.
(31:21):
So what he knew from childhood was UK.
And, you know, sometimes you will realize that when you live
abroad, you have to adapt to some of that culture because,
you know, like if there are certain things that are done in
a certain manner, because, you know, the friends follow that,
they tend to feel more inclusivewhen you follow some of the same
(31:43):
things. So while we celebrated Diwali,
we also did a little decoration for Christmas because, you know,
then everybody else has that andhe doesn't want to kind of the
kids don't understand why we don't have Christmas
decorations. And then and then we always
said, and because we grew up in the Army, we celebrated all
festivals. And we've kind of maintained
that that we've tried to give him a global vision of what, you
(32:07):
know, culture and life. And so we've never tried to 1
hold on to everything that was only Indian.
You take best of each culture and you go along.
So something like, you know, when Ishan was born and the
midwife said, you know, till thechild is like 1 year old, don't
give him salt, sugar. And and then that's kind of, if
(32:29):
you grew up in India, you would never have that.
You know, the number of times that I would get, my God, you're
not giving him salt. However he tasted, he doesn't
know. Yeah, he doesn't know.
So it's OK. So, you know, you're kind of
have to be the judge and and decide what bits of the other
culture that you are living in that you want to take or the
(32:50):
simple facts. Sleeping at a certain time.
We tend to in India, kids kind of decide when they want to
sleep and we don't kind of till the kids don't go to school.
We let them follow whatever routine they want to.
But it's not the case outside because, you know, kids are
going to daycare because parentsare working, they need to sleep
(33:11):
at a certain time because the household has to get ready at a
certain time. So we've maintained some of that
discipline part of it. You know, Singapore again, you
know, he was thrown in an Asian culture where, you know, there's
a lot of similar things to to India as well, you know, and you
know how the Chinese culture goes, there is some bit of
(33:34):
similarities between India and China.
So him seeing Chinese New Year, seeing the lion dance for the
first time, those are experiences that are invaluable
and immeasurable, you know, and then that's what our takeaways.
We travel so much during our time in Singapore and that
really kind of broadens your horizon and opens up your mind
(33:58):
to, you know, different culturesand, and you become a sponge
who's learning, you know, from everyone.
And that's really what we wantedto do is that the idea of living
abroad and when you are in this throne in these different
cultures is you got to be a sponge and, and pick up, you
know, the nuances that really make a culture rich and absorb
(34:21):
it because it makes you grow as a person as well.
And that's what we tried to do. Yeah.
And what made you, you know, come back to India?
And how was it for Ishan? Because, I mean, adjustment is
tough at any age, but especiallyfor a teenager who's never lived
in India. You know, coming back to India,
(34:44):
so Prashanth found a job and, you know, and then it required
us to move to, to Gurgaon. So and we had been out of India
for nearly 20 years and it just felt the right time to, to come
to India. And I, you know, we knew that if
we didn't move by 2020, we can'tmove because then, you know,
(35:07):
Ishan will enter the last four years of school, which, you
know, ideally should be in one place.
So when we came, it was tough for him to settle because he's
like, the first reaction was mom, the names are so hard here.
And that's the you never think about that.
You see, for you, you've grown up in India, you've studied in
(35:28):
India. You're just used to these
Sanskrit names. But then you see from his point
of view, from a Tommy, Danny, you know, Rob, those nails, you
are in, you know, Sanskrit nails.
Arhan, Ahan, you know, I take all those complicated names and
he's like, mom, the names are sohard.
(35:48):
And I was like, you know what, Ishan, I get it.
But then I think there was a little bit of, you know, like, I
won't say hardcore bullying, butsome bit of, you know, any a new
kid on the block because he he'sIndian, but he has a British
accent. So he always gets picked up, you
(36:10):
know, because of that, that, youknow, why do you have this
accent kind of thing. So but I think that having the
lockdown and then being, you know, being at home and
attending, going to school through virtually and having
that time together as a family kind of helped him ease into the
(36:31):
life in Gurgaon. And then when everybody did go
back to school, it was like almost every day's everybody's
first day at school. It kind of levelled the playing
field for him. He was no more the the new kid.
You know, the sections had shuffled and all of that
happened and, you know, they were entering into grade 10,
which had the board exams. So and then he kind of found his
(36:55):
own and, you know, felt like he fit in or he found his feet and
he was fine. But yeah, there was a little bit
of adjustment, which, you know, luckily the lockdown had brought
many negative things with it. But I think it got that positive
thing for us where, you know, wegot a lot of family time.
(37:16):
Yeah, yeah. And Meghna, I want to talk about
you now. Where are you now?
Emotionally, personally, professionally in this chapter
of motherhood. So, you know, I consciously made
a choice to step out of hotels once, you know, the COVID was
over and you know, I was becauseI never had a chance to look for
(37:40):
work. When we moved from Singapore, we
came so quickly into the lockdown that I never got that
chance. And so when I did, you know,
when I was looking to go back towork, I knew that Ishan was in a
stage where he needed, you know,me because you don't.
(38:00):
I'm not going to teach him. I'm not going to sit and make
him study. But he needs that emotional and
physical well-being, you know, OK, have you eaten?
Do you need anything while you're studying?
You know, how are you feeling? Are you nervous?
Are you kind of feeling ready for the exams?
And there are so many exams and so many uncertainties at that
time. Then I felt I had to be present
(38:21):
for him during that time. So I, you know, made the choice
to kind of take a step back. I can go into a role that didn't
require so much of my time at work.
If I had gone back to hotels, itwould have been back to that
grind where it's long hours, possibly doing weekends.
So I wanted to take up a job that would give me that weekends
(38:45):
of public holidays of and then give me a little bit of work
life balance. And that's when I decided to
move into the FMCG, you know, space as as admin and facilities
manager for for my company. And you know, I enjoy what I'm
doing because I do it for the joy of working.
(39:06):
I haven't been that. I've always allowed my career to
be at the back burner because I felt like Prashanth's career and
job were demanding as is. And you know, then to add
another hotelier in the mix would really make us absent
parents, not just no work life balance.
(39:29):
I think it would make us absent parents.
And I didn't want that for for Ishan.
It was bad enough that I always joke with Prashant.
Prashant, you've seen our son growing up lying down, you know,
so you know, it would have addedtwo of us in that mix.
And I didn't want them to go only around helpers and or call
(39:49):
grandparents and say, now you raise a kid.
I was very conscious of that fact that I had my mother
growing up around us. And I want to be that that
parent who is around and available for for our son so.
You know, work wise, I want to work with the joy of working
and, and I enjoy what I do and Iput myself into whatever I will
(40:12):
choose to do or whatever I've chose to do so far.
So, you know, it's, it's fulfilling for me that I am, I
am defined by beyond being a mother and a wife, you know, and
then that important to me to have my independence, financial
and otherwise. And so that was the important
part for me as far as you know, personally it because I think,
(40:36):
you know, my life experiences and age, you know, my husband
and I celebrating our 50th birthdays this year.
So. So yeah, we have our milestone
birthdays coming up. And I have, I have, I feel like
I have become that person who does thing for myself.
Yeah. I don't do it to please the
(40:56):
world. I don't do even to please my son
or my husband. I will do you know what makes me
happy and what I feel is, is important for me to do for
myself. I, I, you know, as much as as
women and as a mother and a wife.
I do things for family and I do things for Ishan and Prashanth
(41:18):
and probably parents. But I also take a little time to
do something for myself or keep,you know, do things that make me
happy. Yeah.
And I think, you know, I've always consciously tried not to
lose my identity at any point. And then that's really been that
I'm very content in my, in my, and I'm very happy in my own
(41:42):
skin. I don't, you know, I don't judge
myself and I'm not critical of myself.
You know, I'm, I'm a little moreforgiving with age, you know,
and, and the fact that now that I'm in that menopause stage, I
think I'm a little more forgiving to, to myself.
And I'm, and really that's the mantra that, you know, it's very
easy to critique yourself and beyour biggest critic, but it's
(42:06):
that much harder to be kind to yourself.
You can be kind to the world, but you're not kind to yourself
or your body or listen to your body.
And you have this, you know, Oh my God, I didn't do my 10,000
steps. Oh my God, I didn't drink that
those 3 liters of water. Oh my God, I'm not having those
super foods or Oh my God, I needto lose 5 lbs.
(42:26):
I don't put that pressure on myself.
I always say balanced life in any regard is is what you
sustainable? So that's what.
Is this is this always been you or is it like some?
You know, there is a little bit of thought you have to teach
yourself this. I can't say that it's always
(42:48):
been like that. There are, you know, times when
you are. Yeah, sort of, you feel, you
know, you're not your best version.
But I think as, as I have kind of moved in the world through
different countries, I've realized that, you know, and and
(43:09):
by looking at different people, a range of people, I I kind of
tell myself I'm good enough. Yeah, I'm good enough.
And you know, there are a lot ofpeople who'd given an arm and a
leg to be in my life. Yeah.
And in my position, or even us as a family in our position
that, you know, so many people don't survive the disease that
(43:32):
my husband has managed to survive and come out successful
on the other end. So, you know, those life
experiences have taught me that,you know, I am enough and I'm, I
am, you know, work. So.
So a little bit is taught and a little bit is inherently that I
don't care about what the world asks me to do.
(43:53):
And I can't be asked to do something.
That's, that's the Sagittarius in me is, you know, that
stubbornness that I will do whatI feel is right and what allows
me to sleep at night. So.
So. Yeah.
And what is an ordinary day in your life look like these days?
So, you know, since I work from the office, it's, it's today is
(44:16):
one of those unusual days that I'm working from home, but I
usually don't work from home. So we, we have an early start of
the day and we know because through school that's always
been the pattern and it hasn't changed much even through
college. Ishan does have early starts
even now. And so, you know, I tend to take
out time to go for a walk in themorning before I come.
(44:38):
Then you know, we do breakfast, get ready and you know as time
maybe my son will leave first ormy son and I will leave 1st.
And then you know my husband if he's not travelling, then he's
generally the last one to leave the house.
And so we try to have breakfast together if it's possible.
And I sort of Ishan and I kind of come back almost at the same
(45:02):
time between like 5530 and then,you know, the day goes in kind
of dinner preps for dinner, having a little chit chat about
each other's day. And you know, if Prashanth comes
home on time and we go out for awalk, then it would be that.
(45:23):
Otherwise, you know, it will be planning for something that's
upcoming. So you know, the evenings are a
little relaxed at at home. And you know that since Shan is
in college, there aren't those activities that you have to
drive him around. So it's a little more relaxed
life for us in, in terms of, of having a grown up child who can,
you know, show for himself whatever needs is required.
(45:46):
So, and, you know, we are kind of preparing to be empty nesters
really, you know, because another few years and and it
would happen, you know, that Ishan will have his own life and
and and we it'll. But.
(46:09):
A new? A new start maybe?
Yeah, a new start. And now Prashanth keeps saying,
you know, maybe we should have apet.
I said, you know what, Prashanth?
I tell you, don't retire. I don't want to be responsible
for any living creature, whetherit's a pet who does not grow up
or even if it's a plant. I've raised a child and then
that's that. I don't want to be responsible
(46:31):
for any living thing anymore. I think that's a.
That's a sentient call. This is a yeah, you know, and
then since a family is in all, our family is in Pune, so we try
to, you know, plan trips to see them and try to go for holidays,
(46:53):
which has been a bit difficult this year.
Somehow the three of us, we've not been able to manage our
calendars to synchronize and have a have a week where we can
go away. But you know, we're working
towards that. I also want to know, you know, I
mean, taking you back to the initial days of your parenting,
(47:16):
you know, you mentioned that while in India there was a
support system in terms of, you know, there is an ecosystem in
place. But when you were in London,
especially going through the treatment, what does your
support system look like? Who?
Or what has helped you feel heldin your journey through this
(47:38):
time? Definitely family and friends.
I've relied so heavily on familyand friends.
You know, my father-in-law gave up his job.
He'd already retired from the Air Force, but then he was
working for another hospital andhe decided to give that up and
spend 6 months of the year for the next three years with us in
(47:59):
London. So they were definitely a big,
big help. And we have an amazing set of
friends in London and, you know,we were lucky that we had many
of them. So, you know, I can't tell you
the amount that friends have helped me to babysit, to come
build my furniture when I neededsomething, to just give me
(48:22):
company, you know. And then Prashanth's work
colleagues were amazing through this journey in London.
They would bring him food baskets to the hospital, not
just for him, for the nurses as well.
You know, when it was Mother's Day, they would send a hamper to
me at home, you know, so, so, and then while Prashanth was in
(48:45):
the hospital, they made such a lovely scrapbook for him where
there were pictures of everyone that he worked with and they had
all signed a message for him. And so, you know, the, the
really the generosity of our friends and people around us and
our work colleagues, what reallysupported us, that they have
(49:06):
been there with us through thickand thin, whatever we needed.
And, you know, the amazing set of doctors, you know, both in
London and here, you know, we couldn't have done it without
them. You know, they're just and the
nurses, you know, who were looking after Prashanth at the
hospital, that allowed me to sleep easy because I know that
(49:28):
he was well looked after. You know it.
Everything helps. Everything, every little helps
at that time. Yeah, yeah.
And also in your parenting journey, you know, now that we
are looking back, can you think of a moment when you felt maybe
completely overwhelmed as a parents and a parent, singular
(49:48):
parent? And how did you get through it?
You know, I remember this instance and it it wasn't so
much as being a single parent kind of overwhelming.
It was another, you know, it wasthat when your life struggle
(50:08):
that you're going through at that point, it hits home.
So Prashanth had had a autologous transplant.
So what happens is when you know, you kind of when the
cancer is in the bone marrow, you tend to the first instance
the doctor takes, you know, yourown cells from your body and try
(50:29):
to almost like if your laptop froze and you do a long hard
press to reboot it, it was almost like a reboot of your, of
your frozen, you know, screen. And that is a very tough
treatment because they have to really kill all your blood cells
in order for that reboot to happen.
(50:49):
And so after four weeks of goingthrough that horrendous
treatment, Prashanth came home and Ishan was sleeping at that
time. So and it had already been four
weeks that he'd not been not seen Ishan.
So I went up to bring Ishan downwho had just woken up and he was
on my hip and Prashanth was sitting and my father-in-law
(51:11):
sitting and I was standing in front of Prashanth.
And then Prashanth kind of called out to Ishan that hi
Ishan. And Ishan just turned his head
and hidden his face and my neck.Because, you know, at that time,
in that four weeks, Prashanth had lost his hair, his eyebrows,
eyelashes. He had almost changed colour
(51:33):
because some of those drugs havea little colour in it.
And he was almost like, like lobster red, if you like, you
know. And he just hid his head in my
neck as if he was meeting a stranger.
And then, you know, as Prashanthspoke more, he realized it was
Prashanth. But that really is the moment
(51:54):
where really my heart broke thatday.
You know, it was close to Ishan's third birthday when this
happened. And it really, I think it really
hit us home of all the dramatic changes that we've had in our
life where Ishan could not recognize Prashanth in that
instance. So, so yeah, that was that was a
(52:15):
tough one. And on the flip side, is there a
small, maybe forgettable on the surface moment that felt like
magic? You know, one of one of
Prashanth was still going through his treatment, but that
magical moment came. But it didn't last however.
(52:36):
But it came when Prashanth for the first, after the first six
months of chemo, he was given the all clear.
It was a temporary, a temporary happiness, but the joy of being
given an all clear after six round, six months, that means 12
rounds of chemotherapy was amazing.
(52:56):
And then we came to India for a holiday and we sat in a BBQ with
the doctors here who are treating him.
And then that really was precious because we didn't know
then that we had two years more of struggle to to, you know, to
come. But that was that was a great
joy when he was given the all clear.
(53:18):
And I think the second other joyous moment was when we found
a donor because Prashant went through an unrelated donor
transplant. So the doctors had to find an
unrelated 100% match donor. And the day that was found was
another day we felt like, okay, we got this so we can make
(53:39):
through, we can get through this.
Yeah, yeah, but I'm, you know, this this conversation has been
a series of bumps and but but I'm getting goosebumps.
I'm forgetting my lines. But let me ask you one more
reflective question. If you could sit across your pre
parent cells just before you became a mother, what would you
(54:03):
say to her? I would say good on you that you
took the time I took. We took eight years to after I
managed to have Ishan and I would say good on you to take
that decision to wait, because Ithink that, you know, you need
to Planned Parenthood when you're ready.
(54:23):
Yeah, when you're ready. Because had I been in India, you
know, one year into the marriage, we would have been
asked that question. No.
When are you having a child? When are you having a child?
And I'm so you know, I would tell our pre parent selves that
good on you, that you waited, that you secured, you know, a
house in London before you went in for a child because you know,
(54:45):
you see what we went through would have been tougher without
it. Right.
And, and you know, the fact thatit was going to be 3 years is an
enormity. You know, that does not you
don't realize until you sit backand look back.
And, and so I, I would say good on you that you waited for eight
(55:08):
years before you had a Shan. You secured your, you know, you
had secured jobs. You had spent enough time in
those jobs that they supported us through that illness and that
you secured a house before you, you had him, you know, had a
sham. So yeah, that's what I would
say. And, you know, I would also say
(55:30):
that everything that you've learned so far is going to be
tested, you know, in different ways.
Every life experience, every sort of battle wound that you,
that life gives you, everything comes into play.
Yeah, you know, in your life journey.
(55:52):
Yeah, yeah. Wow.
That's, that's so, that's so good to hear.
But my last question to you for today, Meghna, what do you hope
Ishan takes with him from all that he's seen and lived with
you? Hope that Ishan, you know,
always sees the glass as half full.
(56:14):
I hope that Ishan always has faith that you know he will he
we have his back. That Ishan treasures his
friendships, chooses his friendswisely.
That he, you know, stays ambitious because, you know, in
(56:37):
today's world, it's very easy for kids like Ishan who are
single child child coming from aplace of privilege to not be
ambitious. And, and I would ask him to be
the kind self that he's not. Let world, you know, remove some
(57:00):
of that shine or tell him that it's not cool to be kind and be
generous and graceful. I would hope that, you know,
being a good human being above everything else should matter.
Yeah. Has anyone ever told you that
you you were very poetic in yourarticulation?
(57:23):
Not, not really. Probably because I'm not in a
not in a profession where I needto talk so much about myself.
But I really, really feel so. You talk so beautifully, You
choose words with such thought and care and it's very it's,
(57:44):
it's a pleasure listening to you.
Thank you. Neil No, but, but I'm I'm really
happy that we got to do this. And and, you know, it's
sometimes nice to even, it givesconversations like this make you
reflect on your life, which you don't really do that often, you
know? Yeah, yeah, Meghna, thank you
(58:08):
for showing up with such honestyand warmth.
What you've shared today is the kind kind of quiet strength that
often doesn't get spoken about enough, the way we keep going
even when the ground shakes beneath us.
And your story, I think, is a reminder that there is no one
way to be a good parent. But there is so much grace in
(58:28):
trying, adapting and staying open.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much, Neha. I really appreciate the chance
to have this conversation with you, and I hope that whoever
listens to this can take something away from it.
Yeah, absolutely. To our listeners, thank you, as
always, for being here. If this conversation stayed with
(58:50):
you, please do take a moment to subscribe, leave a review, or
share this episode with someone you love.
That's how we grow this circle of shared stories.
This has been parenthood. And I'm Neha, holding space for
the real and the raw, one story at a time.
See you next week.
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