February 24, 2025 • 27 mins
Simple Family Systems That Work When Life Isn't Perfect Episode 12
Are you tired of picture-perfect Instagram systems that just don't work in real life? In this episode, host Deanna Hart shares why messy systems can be better than perfect ones, and how to create family routines that actually stick – even when life gets chaotic.
In this episode, you'll discover:
- Why traditional systems often fail busy moms (and what works instead)
- How the "good enough" philosophy can transform your daily routines
- Real-life solutions for common chaos points, like morning routines
- A simple strategy that finally got a challenging 5th grader to school on time
- Why flexibility matters more than perfection in family systems
Key Takeaways:
- Your two-week grocery shopping strategy can reduce stress and save money
- The "clean enough to be healthy, messy enough to be happy" approach
- How adapting your laundry routine to your work-from-home days makes it manageable
- Why sticker charts might work better the second time around
- The power of the "whatever works today" mindset
Quick Win to Try Today: Start with the 5-minute system starter – pick one area you want to improve and spend just 5 minutes thinking about a flexible solution that could work for your family.
Remember: The best system is the one that actually works for your unique family, even if it looks messy to everyone else.
Join our Stress-Free Supermoms community on Instagram @seasonsfromthehart or Facebook group for more support in creating systems that work for real mom life.
Want More Support? Join our Stress-Free Supermoms community, where we share real solutions for managing family chaos while staying calm and finding joy in the mess.
- Subscribe to the Stress-Free Supermoms Podcast for weekly tips and support
- Join our Facebook group "Stress-Free Communities" to connect with other moms building flexible systems that work
- Follow me on Instagram @Seasonsfromthehart for daily encouragement and real-mom moments
- Share this episode with a mom who needs to hear that her messy systems are perfectly okay
- For a quick read, read and save the Show Notes
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello and welcome back to theStress Free Supermoms Podcast.
I am Deanna Hart, your host, andtoday we're talking about simple
family systems.
You know those Instagram postswith perfect pantry
organization?
Yeah, that's not what we'retalking about today.
(00:20):
Most system advice doesn't workfor me.
I don't prep meals.
My dishes don't get done onschedule.
And some days, just getting myson out the door is the biggest
win.
But that doesn't mean I don'thave systems.
It just means they're messy,flexible, and made for real
(00:41):
life.
And today we're talking aboutthe simple imperfect systems
that actually work for busymoms, or at least my life.
I feel like this topic.
is an important one because Iknow I've felt for a long time
that I was a failure because mysystem was not picture perfect.
(01:04):
It never has been and honestly Idon't think it ever will be.
To share an example with you,my, uh, Son has always been a
challenge to get up in themorning for school.
I cannot tell you how many timesI've gotten a truancy letter
because he was either alwayslate or just simply didn't want
(01:25):
to go to school.
So it's always been a struggle.
And recently, I just discoveredhow important a sticker chart
is, even for a fifth grader.
I'll get into this a little bitmore later in the episode.
But just getting a sticker chartand giving him an award for good
(01:51):
behavior, I guess, has been agame changer to our mornings and
it has made our mornings so mucheasier.
So today we're going to go intoa little bit more about how that
works and how maybe you couldimplement that in your life if
that's something you strugglewith with your kiddo.
(02:15):
But you know what?
I.
If you've ever felt like afailure because your systems
aren't perfect, you're in theright place because that is my
life and I want to share thatwith you a little bit more.
But real quick, before we dothat, I want to let you know
(02:36):
that as we're talking aboutimperfect systems, this podcast
Is definitely a work inprogress.
And I know I've been kind ofsilent last couple of weeks, but
I really appreciate yourpatience as I build this podcast
(02:57):
and work through some of theother mental challenges I've
discovered along the way, tryingto fit this podcast into my
already busy schedule.
And also mental schedule hasbeen a little bit of a
challenge, but I want toencourage you and remind you
that I am absolutely committedand determined to making this
(03:21):
podcast work because I want tobe here for you.
Because I know how stressful andfrustrating and overwhelming
life can be when you are raisinga challenging family.
So I want to be here for you.
And I am committed and dedicatedto that.
With that said, if you'd like tohear more, if you're enjoying
(03:45):
this podcast, please subscribe.
It will help me grow Thispodcast and it will help me
continue to connect with youmoving forward And if you like
this episode, please share arating and review that will help
(04:05):
me grow this podcast so that Ican help more Overwhelmed moms
who are just trying to get by.
Before I share what actuallyworks, let me tell you about my
own journey with systems and whyI stopped trying to be perfect.
(04:30):
My life as a mom has never beenperfect.
Uh, it's been challenging, it'sbeen stressful at times, and
it's been very overwhelming.
I've tried to implementtraditional systems that are on
schedule and a perfect routineand it's always failed, you
(04:54):
know, there's always somethingthat's gone wrong or some sort
of challenge that's popped upthat's prevented me from doing
the dishes every night, or fromhaving a perfect morning
routine, or even a perfectevening routine, there is always
something that comes up thatkind of just gets in the way.
(05:21):
A lot of the times, you know,having a challenging child, And
his needs and my daughter'sneeds, they usually tend to
trump whatever system or routineI'm trying to put in place, but,
(05:42):
you know, I've had to come to arealization that clean enough to
be healthy is just fine.
I, I get, I get by most of thetime by just reminding myself
that clean enough to be healthyand messy enough to be happy,
(06:03):
perfectly okay with me.
Most days.
But I get it, you know, if yourhouse is messy, it can be
stressful and sometimes a lot ofthe times we tend to feel guilty
or pressure to keep a neat andorderly house and keep it clean
(06:30):
and organized and less stressfuland I get it.
I feel that way too sometimes,but In this busy life, in this
chaotic life, sometimes thosethings just don't matter as much
as we think they do.
(06:50):
And just simply being happy withwhat we have and the way things
are, can be a huge game changerfor our mental health, for our
stress levels, for everything.
But we're going to get into alot of that.
(07:13):
So the moment I realized that'sclean enough to be healthy and
messy enough to be happy changedeverything for me.
And it led me to discover threekey truths about systems that
actually work for real life.
(07:34):
The first key point isredefining systems for real
life.
for real mom life.
Now, the concept of good enoughis, well, good enough, you know,
it takes a lot to try and keep ahouse clean and organized.
(07:56):
And, you know, sometimes we justneed to let go of some of that
and just accept the fact thatgood enough is okay.
Especially when we're stressedout and frustrated and life is
chaotic and we've got a millionballs in the air, sometimes we
just need to let some balls go.
(08:18):
Sometimes they, some of themjust need to drop and that
allows us to have more bandwidthfor the other balls to keep them
in the air.
However, one thing that I'vefound really helpful for me.
I, you know, I work a nine tofive and on Thursdays and
(08:39):
Fridays, I work from home, whichmakes it a lot easier for me to
get a few things done on aregular basis.
For example, I started doing oneto two loads of laundry every
Thursday and Friday andsometimes Saturday.
And that has allowed me to getfully caught up on the huge
(09:01):
mound of laundry that normallyhappens.
And it's allowed me to get someextra things washed that I
generally don't normally havetime to wash.
Like the bedding, the sheets,the pillows, the curtains, the
coats, the whatever else doesn'tgenerally get into the normal
(09:23):
laundry.
That has allowed me to get thosethings done, which has been a
total game changer in thelaundry department.
And the reason this good enoughphilosophy actually works is
because it helps remove thatguilt that we feel on a regular
basis for not being able to getthe things done that actually
(09:43):
matter, the things that need tobe done.
It removes that guilt because Itallows us to focus on more
important things like justmaking sure that the family gets
fed or that we have cleanclothes.
and clean dishes to eat off of.
(10:03):
But it's also flexible becauseyou're not stuck to a rigid
schedule that you feel you mustcomplete or all things go awry.
That flexibility really helps tokeep that stress level down and
prevents you from burnout.
Honestly.
(10:26):
And now that we've thrown outthe perfect system myth, let's
talk about what actually sticks.
And leads me to my second keypoint, creating flexible systems
that actually work.
And for me, this is basicallyjust whatever works for that
(10:46):
day.
Mindset, I, it's.
It's easy to get stuck on all ofthe to dos that we want to do in
our day to day life.
That generally doesn't tend tohappen.
The, the, the mindset ofwhatever works today works.
(11:09):
It, it really helps you reducethat stress and, and keeps your
mind focused on The positivityof a messy, chaotic life, rather
than the negativity that canvery quickly come with that.
(11:31):
And one of the examples for thisis my meal planning strategy.
It's honestly not really astrategy, but for me, I get paid
every two weeks for my nine tofive job.
And so when I get paid.
(11:52):
I go shopping for two weeks.
It's a lot.
I tend to walk home with four orfive hundred dollars worth of
groceries at that time, but itkeeps my stress level down from
not having to worry about goinginto the grocery store every
day.
(12:12):
every couple of days for mealsor whatever, because most of the
time what happens is my sonwants to come and my food bill
ends up being way more than Iplanned on it, because he's
adding more things and askingfor more things and begging for
more things.
And so this only gives him oneopportunity to do that in those
(12:34):
two week periods, which has beenreally helpful.
Um, so.
I, I tend to plan out at least aweek's worth of groceries, at
least a week's worth of meals,dinners.
I don't plan breakfast andlunch.
That's just kind of whatever.
(12:55):
I do plan on having some certainfoods.
to make breakfasts easier, likeeggs and milk and protein
powders and cheese.
That's pretty much all I eat forbreakfast.
Um, and some cereals andoatmeals for the kids.
(13:16):
Um, and you know, we'll get somesnacks for the two weeks.
Uh, but this has really helpedme cut back on groceries and It
helps me focus on what else Ineed to do for the next two
weeks.
So I don't have to worry aboutgrocery shopping again for
(13:38):
another two weeks.
Sometimes I might have to goanother week later because, you
know, we've ran out of milk orbutter or cheese or something
like that.
But those grocery trips are somuch easier.
Uh, When I don't have to focuson all kinds of other things,
because I don't know about you,but the grocery store stresses
(14:01):
me out a lot of the times.
So the easier I can make it onmyself, the absolute better.
Sometimes, I, I know thisdoesn't work for a lot of
people, and that's totally fine.
I think for You, you need tomake it work for however it
(14:24):
works for you.
If, if going every couple ofdays is works for you, then
great stick with that.
Um, but if it doesn't, and ittotally stresses you out, then I
would suggest at least planning1 week.
ahead.
Um, and you know, meals don'tnecessarily turn out exactly as
(14:45):
planned.
Some days I don't feel likecooking what I planned on
cooking that day.
So I improvise and just throwtogether something with whatever
we have on hand.
And that usually turns outbetter than any other meal that
I could plan, but it works.
(15:05):
And the key is to just keep itflexible and not.
rigid and just do whatever worksfor you in that moment.
It doesn't have to be perfect,just make it work somehow.
And that's my best advice formeal planning.
(15:27):
But you know, this flexibilityis especially important when
we're dealing with those dailychaos points, which brings me to
my third key point, which issimple solutions for common
chaos.
You know, adapting routines thatare flexible over a rigid
(15:50):
schedule is so much easier thantrying to stick with a specific
schedule or a specific time fordoing things because, you know,
let's face it, chaos hits whenchaos hits and chaos hits the
fan whether we want it to ornot.
And if we're trying to stickwith a rigid schedule, it's most
(16:14):
likely always going to fail.
And that can leave us with avery, very bad, guilty feeling
that we're a failure or that weThis is not something that we
can do, but you know what, I'mliving proof that it can be done
(16:34):
if you allow the flexibility ofadapting a routine that changes
over time, or changes from dayto day, or just making sure that
if there is a specific routinethat you want to put in place,
(16:55):
and that's perfectly fine, justgo into it with mindset that is
It's flexible and it can changeand it can evolve and it doesn't
necessarily have to happen atthe same time every day because
I know firsthand that that canbe very stressful on ourselves.
(17:18):
So allow it to be adaptable.
And a real life example of thatis my morning chaos.
As I mentioned earlier, my childhas always been a challenge to
get to school and I have triedAll kinds of different things.
(17:39):
I've tried a sticker chartbefore, and it worked for a
little bit, and then it stoppedworking.
He changed his taste.
He changed his motivation.
He, he changes that all thetime.
So working with my son isdefinitely a work in progress,
and I have to learn how to beadaptable to that.
(18:01):
Otherwise.
I'm going to get stressed outand overwhelmed and none of us
are going to be very happy withthat.
So, my real life example forthat is keep trying, try new
things, try different things,and just keep trying.
Don't give up.
Do not give up.
(18:22):
Because like I said, I tried asticker chart before and it
didn't work.
And it didn't work.
We were late for school most ofthe time and I finally, I
decided to go ahead and just trythe sticker chart again and
maybe up the reward.
So I told my son, okay, look,I'm giving you a sticker chart.
(18:44):
I want you to wake up with youralarm because I've been his
alarm this entire time.
So I'm like, okay, you need tolearn how to wake up with an
alarm.
So the sticker chart, you getone sticker for when you wake up
with your alarm.
And then you get another stickerfor going to school on time.
(19:08):
And you know what?
It's been more successful thanever before.
And I don't know if that's justbecause he's older, or if I
upped the reward by giving himtwo stickers instead of just
one, or because I told him I'dtake him to Sky Zone, which is a
trampoline park here inColorado.
(19:31):
Whatever it is, it's working.
And we're going to stick withthat until It doesn't work
anymore.
And then I get to pivot andthink of some new ideas of how
to get him motivated to go toschool.
But the reason this makes adifference is because It's
(19:51):
allowed me to see things in adifferent perspective of just
keep trying, just keep trying,just keep trying.
It reminds me of that song fromFinding Nemo, just keep
swimming, just keep swimming.
I love that song.
(20:12):
But it allows me to have thatperspective that You can't give
up.
You just try something new.
You try something different.
And sometimes it takes a whileto bring, to have that thought
of something different come intoplay.
But you know what?
That's okay.
As long as you keep trying.
(20:32):
And you keep putting one footforward, everything will click,
eventually.
until it doesn't, and then youget to try again, which is
great, right?
So I know you're probablythinking, this sounds great, but
where do I even start?
And here's something you couldtry today.
(20:55):
You could try a five minutesystem starter.
Spend five minutes just tryingto think of a way to start a
system and something you want toimprove in your life.
Don't spend a ton of time on itbecause you'll get stuck and it
will weigh you down and it willnot, it will not work.
(21:24):
So just spend five minutesstarting something, you know, I,
and it doesn't have to beperfect.
Just work a little bit at atime.
to finding ways that you canstart a system that works in
(21:48):
your life without the mindsetof, oh, it has to happen this
time, this at, in this way, orit doesn't happen at all.
You just, You go into it with amindset of, I'll do it when I
can.
(22:09):
And when I can, I will do it andeverything will be okay.
And it's okay that my house ismessy and it's okay that
everything's not perfect.
It's okay.
We're happy.
We're healthy.
That's all that matters.
But I do know that startingsomething can get very stressful
(22:35):
in our own minds.
We can spin wheels and go roundand round and round about how
The system should work, but it'snot, and how can I make this
work?
My best advice is just to picksomething up and just do it and
see how well, how it feels.
(22:58):
If it feels good, then keepdoing it.
Keep moving forward and keepadding a little bit more here
and there.
But it's also okay to modifythat.
So, as we wrap up today'sepisode, I want to remind you
something important.
(23:19):
Systems can be redefined.
Systems are not perfect.
They don't have to be perfectfor real life moms.
Real mom life.
And creating flexible systemswill help you reduce the stress
(23:39):
in your life because we all needto de stress.
We all need things that work.
are not going to cause morestress than life already is.
And simple solutions for commonchaos, they're not rigid,
(24:01):
they're flexible, and they move,and they change, and they
evolve, and they just makethings work, no matter what's
happening.
It's just making it work.
whenever and however we can.
(24:23):
So I want to leave you with thismessage.
The best system is the one thatactually works for your unique
family.
It's not something that you seeon Pinterest, it's not something
that you see on Instagram, andit's not something that an
(24:43):
advice has been given to you,because what works for other
people may not work for you, andthat's okay.
So just work on building thebest system that actually works
in your life, and remember thatit doesn't have to be perfect.
(25:04):
So our next episode is gonna beabout loving your life, even in
the mess, because our lives canbe messy.
But we can still love it andcherish it and be grateful for
it and stay positive through themass.
(25:27):
So I hope that you'll join menext time, next week for that.
And I really want to thank youfor being part of the Stress
Free Supermoms community.
If you haven't already, hitsubscribe to join us every week
for more practical tips andsupport.
And I want to invite you toengage on Instagram or even join
(25:55):
our Stress Free CommunitiesFacebook group.
Let's build some systems thatwork if you're struggling with
something.
ask, ask me, ask the group, ask,you know, ask friends, ask
somebody to help give you some,not necessarily advice, but to
(26:16):
help give you some ideas on whatmight work and what might not
work for you.
And I'd love to encourage you onyour journey of building
systems, because I know we allneed that encouragement
sometimes that, yeah, you can dothis, and it's, okay if it's not
(26:38):
perfect.
So, the best systems, my lastmessage, is the best systems is
the one that actually works foryour unique family, even if it
looks messy to everyone else.
Until next time, stay strong,stay calm, and keep thriving,
(27:03):
Supermom.
Hello and welcome back to theStress Free Supermoms Podcast.
I am Deanna Hart, your host, andtoday we're talking about simple
family systems.
You know those Instagram postswith perfect pantry
organization?
Yeah, that's not what we'retalking about today.
(00:20):
Most system advice doesn't workfor me.
I don't prep meals.
My dishes don't get done onschedule.
And some days, just getting myson out the door is the biggest
win.
But that doesn't mean I don'thave systems.
It just means they're messy,flexible, and made for real
(00:41):
life.
And today we're talking aboutthe simple imperfect systems
that actually work for busymoms, or at least my life.
I feel like this topic.
is an important one because Iknow I've felt for a long time
that I was a failure because mysystem was not picture perfect.
(01:04):
It never has been and honestly Idon't think it ever will be.
To share an example with you,my, uh, Son has always been a
challenge to get up in themorning for school.
I cannot tell you how many timesI've gotten a truancy letter
because he was either alwayslate or just simply didn't want
(01:25):
to go to school.
So it's always been a struggle.
And recently, I just discoveredhow important a sticker chart
is, even for a fifth grader.
I'll get into this a little bitmore later in the episode.
But just getting a sticker chartand giving him an award for good
(01:51):
behavior, I guess, has been agame changer to our mornings and
it has made our mornings so mucheasier.
So today we're going to go intoa little bit more about how that
works and how maybe you couldimplement that in your life if
that's something you strugglewith with your kiddo.
(02:15):
But you know what?
I.
If you've ever felt like afailure because your systems
aren't perfect, you're in theright place because that is my
life and I want to share thatwith you a little bit more.
But real quick, before we dothat, I want to let you know
(02:36):
that as we're talking aboutimperfect systems, this podcast
Is definitely a work inprogress.
And I know I've been kind ofsilent last couple of weeks, but
I really appreciate yourpatience as I build this podcast
(02:57):
and work through some of theother mental challenges I've
discovered along the way, tryingto fit this podcast into my
already busy schedule.
And also mental schedule hasbeen a little bit of a
challenge, but I want toencourage you and remind you
that I am absolutely committedand determined to making this
(03:21):
podcast work because I want tobe here for you.
Because I know how stressful andfrustrating and overwhelming
life can be when you are raisinga challenging family.
So I want to be here for you.
And I am committed and dedicatedto that.
With that said, if you'd like tohear more, if you're enjoying
(03:45):
this podcast, please subscribe.
It will help me grow Thispodcast and it will help me
continue to connect with youmoving forward And if you like
this episode, please share arating and review that will help
(04:05):
me grow this podcast so that Ican help more Overwhelmed moms
who are just trying to get by.
Before I share what actuallyworks, let me tell you about my
own journey with systems and whyI stopped trying to be perfect.
(04:30):
My life as a mom has never beenperfect.
Uh, it's been challenging, it'sbeen stressful at times, and
it's been very overwhelming.
I've tried to implementtraditional systems that are on
schedule and a perfect routineand it's always failed, you
(04:54):
know, there's always somethingthat's gone wrong or some sort
of challenge that's popped upthat's prevented me from doing
the dishes every night, or fromhaving a perfect morning
routine, or even a perfectevening routine, there is always
something that comes up thatkind of just gets in the way.
(05:21):
A lot of the times, you know,having a challenging child, And
his needs and my daughter'sneeds, they usually tend to
trump whatever system or routineI'm trying to put in place, but,
(05:42):
you know, I've had to come to arealization that clean enough to
be healthy is just fine.
I, I get, I get by most of thetime by just reminding myself
that clean enough to be healthyand messy enough to be happy,
(06:03):
perfectly okay with me.
Most days.
But I get it, you know, if yourhouse is messy, it can be
stressful and sometimes a lot ofthe times we tend to feel guilty
or pressure to keep a neat andorderly house and keep it clean
(06:30):
and organized and less stressfuland I get it.
I feel that way too sometimes,but In this busy life, in this
chaotic life, sometimes thosethings just don't matter as much
as we think they do.
(06:50):
And just simply being happy withwhat we have and the way things
are, can be a huge game changerfor our mental health, for our
stress levels, for everything.
But we're going to get into alot of that.
(07:13):
So the moment I realized that'sclean enough to be healthy and
messy enough to be happy changedeverything for me.
And it led me to discover threekey truths about systems that
actually work for real life.
(07:34):
The first key point isredefining systems for real
life.
for real mom life.
Now, the concept of good enoughis, well, good enough, you know,
it takes a lot to try and keep ahouse clean and organized.
(07:56):
And, you know, sometimes we justneed to let go of some of that
and just accept the fact thatgood enough is okay.
Especially when we're stressedout and frustrated and life is
chaotic and we've got a millionballs in the air, sometimes we
just need to let some balls go.
(08:18):
Sometimes they, some of themjust need to drop and that
allows us to have more bandwidthfor the other balls to keep them
in the air.
However, one thing that I'vefound really helpful for me.
I, you know, I work a nine tofive and on Thursdays and
(08:39):
Fridays, I work from home, whichmakes it a lot easier for me to
get a few things done on aregular basis.
For example, I started doing oneto two loads of laundry every
Thursday and Friday andsometimes Saturday.
And that has allowed me to getfully caught up on the huge
(09:01):
mound of laundry that normallyhappens.
And it's allowed me to get someextra things washed that I
generally don't normally havetime to wash.
Like the bedding, the sheets,the pillows, the curtains, the
coats, the whatever else doesn'tgenerally get into the normal
(09:23):
laundry.
That has allowed me to get thosethings done, which has been a
total game changer in thelaundry department.
And the reason this good enoughphilosophy actually works is
because it helps remove thatguilt that we feel on a regular
basis for not being able to getthe things done that actually
(09:43):
matter, the things that need tobe done.
It removes that guilt because Itallows us to focus on more
important things like justmaking sure that the family gets
fed or that we have cleanclothes.
and clean dishes to eat off of.
(10:03):
But it's also flexible becauseyou're not stuck to a rigid
schedule that you feel you mustcomplete or all things go awry.
That flexibility really helps tokeep that stress level down and
prevents you from burnout.
Honestly.
(10:26):
And now that we've thrown outthe perfect system myth, let's
talk about what actually sticks.
And leads me to my second keypoint, creating flexible systems
that actually work.
And for me, this is basicallyjust whatever works for that
(10:46):
day.
Mindset, I, it's.
It's easy to get stuck on all ofthe to dos that we want to do in
our day to day life.
That generally doesn't tend tohappen.
The, the, the mindset ofwhatever works today works.
(11:09):
It, it really helps you reducethat stress and, and keeps your
mind focused on The positivityof a messy, chaotic life, rather
than the negativity that canvery quickly come with that.
(11:31):
And one of the examples for thisis my meal planning strategy.
It's honestly not really astrategy, but for me, I get paid
every two weeks for my nine tofive job.
And so when I get paid.
(11:52):
I go shopping for two weeks.
It's a lot.
I tend to walk home with four orfive hundred dollars worth of
groceries at that time, but itkeeps my stress level down from
not having to worry about goinginto the grocery store every
day.
(12:12):
every couple of days for mealsor whatever, because most of the
time what happens is my sonwants to come and my food bill
ends up being way more than Iplanned on it, because he's
adding more things and askingfor more things and begging for
more things.
And so this only gives him oneopportunity to do that in those
(12:34):
two week periods, which has beenreally helpful.
Um, so.
I, I tend to plan out at least aweek's worth of groceries, at
least a week's worth of meals,dinners.
I don't plan breakfast andlunch.
That's just kind of whatever.
(12:55):
I do plan on having some certainfoods.
to make breakfasts easier, likeeggs and milk and protein
powders and cheese.
That's pretty much all I eat forbreakfast.
Um, and some cereals andoatmeals for the kids.
(13:16):
Um, and you know, we'll get somesnacks for the two weeks.
Uh, but this has really helpedme cut back on groceries and It
helps me focus on what else Ineed to do for the next two
weeks.
So I don't have to worry aboutgrocery shopping again for
(13:38):
another two weeks.
Sometimes I might have to goanother week later because, you
know, we've ran out of milk orbutter or cheese or something
like that.
But those grocery trips are somuch easier.
Uh, When I don't have to focuson all kinds of other things,
because I don't know about you,but the grocery store stresses
(14:01):
me out a lot of the times.
So the easier I can make it onmyself, the absolute better.
Sometimes, I, I know thisdoesn't work for a lot of
people, and that's totally fine.
I think for You, you need tomake it work for however it
(14:24):
works for you.
If, if going every couple ofdays is works for you, then
great stick with that.
Um, but if it doesn't, and ittotally stresses you out, then I
would suggest at least planning1 week.
ahead.
Um, and you know, meals don'tnecessarily turn out exactly as
(14:45):
planned.
Some days I don't feel likecooking what I planned on
cooking that day.
So I improvise and just throwtogether something with whatever
we have on hand.
And that usually turns outbetter than any other meal that
I could plan, but it works.
(15:05):
And the key is to just keep itflexible and not.
rigid and just do whatever worksfor you in that moment.
It doesn't have to be perfect,just make it work somehow.
And that's my best advice formeal planning.
(15:27):
But you know, this flexibilityis especially important when
we're dealing with those dailychaos points, which brings me to
my third key point, which issimple solutions for common
chaos.
You know, adapting routines thatare flexible over a rigid
(15:50):
schedule is so much easier thantrying to stick with a specific
schedule or a specific time fordoing things because, you know,
let's face it, chaos hits whenchaos hits and chaos hits the
fan whether we want it to ornot.
And if we're trying to stickwith a rigid schedule, it's most
(16:14):
likely always going to fail.
And that can leave us with avery, very bad, guilty feeling
that we're a failure or that weThis is not something that we
can do, but you know what, I'mliving proof that it can be done
(16:34):
if you allow the flexibility ofadapting a routine that changes
over time, or changes from dayto day, or just making sure that
if there is a specific routinethat you want to put in place,
(16:55):
and that's perfectly fine, justgo into it with mindset that is
It's flexible and it can changeand it can evolve and it doesn't
necessarily have to happen atthe same time every day because
I know firsthand that that canbe very stressful on ourselves.
(17:18):
So allow it to be adaptable.
And a real life example of thatis my morning chaos.
As I mentioned earlier, my childhas always been a challenge to
get to school and I have triedAll kinds of different things.
(17:39):
I've tried a sticker chartbefore, and it worked for a
little bit, and then it stoppedworking.
He changed his taste.
He changed his motivation.
He, he changes that all thetime.
So working with my son isdefinitely a work in progress,
and I have to learn how to beadaptable to that.
(18:01):
Otherwise.
I'm going to get stressed outand overwhelmed and none of us
are going to be very happy withthat.
So, my real life example forthat is keep trying, try new
things, try different things,and just keep trying.
Don't give up.
Do not give up.
(18:22):
Because like I said, I tried asticker chart before and it
didn't work.
And it didn't work.
We were late for school most ofthe time and I finally, I
decided to go ahead and just trythe sticker chart again and
maybe up the reward.
So I told my son, okay, look,I'm giving you a sticker chart.
(18:44):
I want you to wake up with youralarm because I've been his
alarm this entire time.
So I'm like, okay, you need tolearn how to wake up with an
alarm.
So the sticker chart, you getone sticker for when you wake up
with your alarm.
And then you get another stickerfor going to school on time.
(19:08):
And you know what?
It's been more successful thanever before.
And I don't know if that's justbecause he's older, or if I
upped the reward by giving himtwo stickers instead of just
one, or because I told him I'dtake him to Sky Zone, which is a
trampoline park here inColorado.
(19:31):
Whatever it is, it's working.
And we're going to stick withthat until It doesn't work
anymore.
And then I get to pivot andthink of some new ideas of how
to get him motivated to go toschool.
But the reason this makes adifference is because It's
(19:51):
allowed me to see things in adifferent perspective of just
keep trying, just keep trying,just keep trying.
It reminds me of that song fromFinding Nemo, just keep
swimming, just keep swimming.
I love that song.
(20:12):
But it allows me to have thatperspective that You can't give
up.
You just try something new.
You try something different.
And sometimes it takes a whileto bring, to have that thought
of something different come intoplay.
But you know what?
That's okay.
As long as you keep trying.
(20:32):
And you keep putting one footforward, everything will click,
eventually.
until it doesn't, and then youget to try again, which is
great, right?
So I know you're probablythinking, this sounds great, but
where do I even start?
And here's something you couldtry today.
(20:55):
You could try a five minutesystem starter.
Spend five minutes just tryingto think of a way to start a
system and something you want toimprove in your life.
Don't spend a ton of time on itbecause you'll get stuck and it
will weigh you down and it willnot, it will not work.
(21:24):
So just spend five minutesstarting something, you know, I,
and it doesn't have to beperfect.
Just work a little bit at atime.
to finding ways that you canstart a system that works in
(21:48):
your life without the mindsetof, oh, it has to happen this
time, this at, in this way, orit doesn't happen at all.
You just, You go into it with amindset of, I'll do it when I
can.
(22:09):
And when I can, I will do it andeverything will be okay.
And it's okay that my house ismessy and it's okay that
everything's not perfect.
It's okay.
We're happy.
We're healthy.
That's all that matters.
But I do know that startingsomething can get very stressful
(22:35):
in our own minds.
We can spin wheels and go roundand round and round about how
The system should work, but it'snot, and how can I make this
work?
My best advice is just to picksomething up and just do it and
see how well, how it feels.
(22:58):
If it feels good, then keepdoing it.
Keep moving forward and keepadding a little bit more here
and there.
But it's also okay to modifythat.
So, as we wrap up today'sepisode, I want to remind you
something important.
(23:19):
Systems can be redefined.
Systems are not perfect.
They don't have to be perfectfor real life moms.
Real mom life.
And creating flexible systemswill help you reduce the stress
(23:39):
in your life because we all needto de stress.
We all need things that work.
are not going to cause morestress than life already is.
And simple solutions for commonchaos, they're not rigid,
(24:01):
they're flexible, and they move,and they change, and they
evolve, and they just makethings work, no matter what's
happening.
It's just making it work.
whenever and however we can.
(24:23):
So I want to leave you with thismessage.
The best system is the one thatactually works for your unique
family.
It's not something that you seeon Pinterest, it's not something
that you see on Instagram, andit's not something that an
(24:43):
advice has been given to you,because what works for other
people may not work for you, andthat's okay.
So just work on building thebest system that actually works
in your life, and remember thatit doesn't have to be perfect.
(25:04):
So our next episode is gonna beabout loving your life, even in
the mess, because our lives canbe messy.
But we can still love it andcherish it and be grateful for
it and stay positive through themass.
(25:27):
So I hope that you'll join menext time, next week for that.
And I really want to thank youfor being part of the Stress
Free Supermoms community.
If you haven't already, hitsubscribe to join us every week
for more practical tips andsupport.
And I want to invite you toengage on Instagram or even join
(25:55):
our Stress Free CommunitiesFacebook group.
Let's build some systems thatwork if you're struggling with
something.
ask, ask me, ask the group, ask,you know, ask friends, ask
somebody to help give you some,not necessarily advice, but to
(26:16):
help give you some ideas on whatmight work and what might not
work for you.
And I'd love to encourage you onyour journey of building
systems, because I know we allneed that encouragement
sometimes that, yeah, you can dothis, and it's, okay if it's not
(26:38):
perfect.
So, the best systems, my lastmessage, is the best systems is
the one that actually works foryour unique family, even if it
looks messy to everyone else.
Until next time, stay strong,stay calm, and keep thriving,
(27:03):
Supermom.
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